Fifi & Fanny: How to Treat Your Pianist by Miss Smith

[hal7ter]

dumb.



[thepulsiphyer]

FREAKIN HILARIOUS

[pcma1970]

Amazing You was amazing !! Thank You !!!

[buendiapason]

This is HILARIOUS. I can't stop watching it... !! Please don't stop telling the TRUTH!!

[thepulsiphyer]

FANTASTIC, SHE'S RIGHT ON!!



[trumpetier17]

You should make a video discussing proper points of behavior with vocalists when they are in shows, operas, oratorios, or choral works with orchestra.

1: Don't hum when the orchestra is tuning!

2: Don't step on my 12,000 dollar bass when walking between aisles!!!!

3: Brass produce spit. You do, too, so get over it and we'll get over your belting and not blending with others!

4: Learn to count! Entrances are important. That's where you're supposed to come it. Do it!

...

[aragornthebrave]

@trumpetier17 All good points. Do you have any ideas why singers can never count consistently? Instrumentalists manage it....

[jayashermusic]

As a life-long musician, I disagree with Miss Smith. When a pianist accompanies a singer or soloist, he/she IS and accompanist. There is no shame in the term. Indeed, not all pianists are good accompanists. It is a specific skill set.

Further, unless the music is extraordinarily difficult, it is NOT unreasonable for a performer to expect his/her pianist/accompanist to be able to transpose i.e. from A to C. It is indeed part of the craft.

[singer196]

PRESS 7!!!!

[dudess4rent]

What kind of pianist would make a video with a saxophone intro???

[dudess4rent]

I wouldn't sing anywhere near this bitter bitch. Sorry.

[trumpetier17]

@dudess4rent I don't think she's bitter. Just making mostly very valid points of professionalism in a humorous way. I sometimes accompany singers and they certainly employ all these things and then some, but I know many vocalists who do not and are completely oblivious to chamber music etiquette and how to treat your colleagues.

[truverdigirl]

I always truly love the way instrumentalist love to look down on vocalists. If you are a "pianist" you can essentially push a button and a sound comes out. You will excuse us if occasionally while sight singing (different from sight reading) in a foreign language, while maintaining proper breath and tonal support and producing sounds appropriate to the style of the piece not to mention the right muscular space and position to produce high C, that some rhythms might go slightly awry.

[dreampasthestars1]

Though everything you say is true & at times funny, you're a bit harsh on the vocalist, give us a little more credit! Instrumentalists (sorry if that word offends you) have a tendency to look down on us and treat us like "the stupid musician". Actually, they like to treat us like crap because they assume we're all the same.

But we're not.

Yes, there are people out there who can't read music, are divas, & just plain ignorant. But singing anything Messiah or Serial can humble us real quick!

[blehfu]

Sadly, there seem to be a lot of musicians who simply have never worked with a pianist, and have never learned how to communicate with one. I feel like this should be their teacher's responsibility to either teach them these things, or to have their students work with pianists on a regular basis and learn that way.

Or else they should all watch this friggin' video.

[duramaxoffroad]

This is such an obnoxious video.

[keilaabeid]

just perfect...I'll show it to my students...lol...

[baldevis]

A lot of this is just common sense and courtesy toward a collaborator (the stuff about providing the music in a usable format, demonstrating the tempo properly)......but strident and not really funny (well, not to me, anyway). It suggests, ever-so-slightly, delusions of grandeur. How many people would have walked out of those sold-out Pavarotti concerts back in the 80s if it was announced that John Wustman was indisposed that night, and was being replaced by.....?

[DivaWhisperer]

The pianist who teaches you your rhythms is called a coach.

Many pianists who collaborate with others are selfless and self-deprecating and would let you call them anything or not even credit them. But that is unfortunate. And the currently accepted title of respect for someone playing the piano in concert or recital with another musician (yes, even a singer) is: pianist.

[laboltt]

Hmmmm. I do consider myself a pianist, but I am happy to be called an accompanist when filling that role. I am also a teacher, and I manage to communicate many of these points (which are all very valid) by helping a singer to discover them. I realize this is an attempt to be humorous, but your tone is not collaborative. And by the way, when someone asks me "Can you do that? Play in C?" my answer is yes, because I can. I am a good pianist and I transpose. Well. Check out my videos if you wish..

[zizerontchik]

@divaphoenix Yes, sure! Bad musicians (singers or instrumentalists) exist and will always exist, but I don't consider them as "professional" musicians. Thank God, the bad ones don't go too far with their careers, even the ones with "connections". The result is that this video is generalizing and that's not fair. On top of it, its "humour" doesn't really make me laugh, maybe because the Lady is not really "funny", she's just bitchy and sarcastic. I don't really call that humour...

[zizerontchik]

@divaphoenix Not alla singers are good musicians unfortunately, and that works also for pianists...

I find this parody pushed a little too far because, as I said before, there's no respect at all in it, and the lady is quite agressive.. it quicly stops being funny...

[zizerontchik]

A few years ago I was forced to accompany (sorry, but it is the appropriate word) myself and my colleagues at an audition because the pianist just couldn’t play… I would suggest you quit the job! You don’t like doing this! You don’t want to end up living on anti-depressants, do you? AND you’ll do us a favour!! ;-))

[LetItBe920]

I love everything about this video. I am a singer, and I think that the word "accompanist" is a disgusting insult to what pianists do, and also a disgusting inflation of what the singer does. Schubert rolls over in his grave when he hears the word "accompanist", as the piano parts in his lieder take on another character which supports the text. The correct name for a pianist who works with singers or instrumentalists is "collaborative pianist". Great video!!!

[SrtaAnaC]

Adorei! Apoiado.



[tdsthomas]

"Two snaps up!!"

Oh wait; Sorry.

[SkitzkiPiano]

this is awesome!!  haha thanks Miss Smith

[t0nedeaf]

"It's not all about you" ... "We are in this together"

That's a beautiful idea, really, but I don't think you could convince many singers to think this way, specially the lousy ones.

[SingersoftheStreet]

Woo hoo! 10,000+ hits. Way to go, Miss Smith!

[Shizzmonger]

what a bitch

[ChristophePhilippe]

This seems more like a send-up of a touchy accompanist.

[divagatita]

maybe you should leave the field. Would you honestly prefer someone to sing a refrain to you and not just snap the tempo? Seems inefficient to me. If I sang the chorus to a jazz pianist, they would probably be unimpressed. But this is a jazz singer. We snap, count, move. I get the joke, but you seem really angry. Maybe you should only work with other instrumentalists. Though the singers pay you the most, right?

[aragornthebrave]

@divagatita The problem is that most singers are unable to indicate the correct tempo by any other means other than by singing a key phrase in the song. I include professional singers in this! While some singers can, the failsafe way is to ask "please sing the first line of the chorus/main bit" And in general, singers and instrumentalists pay the same ;)

[Dididole]

"unless you want me to call you a singer! Oh wait, you don't actually realize that's an insult!"

LMAO!!

[Dididole]

hahahaha LOVE it!

[jharrismtbc]

Hillarious!

[arailyra]

YOU SHOULD PUNCH THE PIANO PLAYER IN THE FACE BEFORE YOU GO AND ROB THE PLACE!!

[twink1ebug]

She just needs to put a little twinkle in her eye. Humor is lost because she is too angry. Message better received delivered with some lightness.

[aragornthebrave]

@twink1ebug ooooh I don't know, I work as an accom... sorry, pianist, and I was laughing out loud throughout. Is piAnist the american way of saying it? Here in the UK we say PEEanist, although that can backfire - once someone asked me if I was a penis, and I said yes. Anyway, great skit, here's to some more! x

[dishonsmith]

I love the way you say the word "accompanist." 

[dishonsmith]

Bahahaha Preach!! If I had a nickel for every time I was given "Not complete sheet music."

[dishonsmith]

Bahahaha Preach!! If I had a nickel for every time I was given "Not complete sheet music."

[HeroicTombolo]

I liked this video, although I disagreed on number 6. (and #3, but I'm just weird like that) Then I got to the "unless you want me to call you a singer" bit and this became the greatest video of all time.

[larryraiken]

I'm not saying that every audition pianist is Paderewski; however, he/she is your scene partner. Nobody is good enough to (expletive) on your scene partner. Early on in my career, a pianist asked the tempo of "Fra poco a me ricovero," from Lucia di Lammermoor. I sang a measure or two, and he said, "Don't sing the whole (effing) thing just because I never heard that opera." Occasionally, you'll get somebody in a bad mood; however, your job is to be the pro!

[killabotpegasi]

Sounds like she has bitchy accompanist friends.

[mgollow]

@killabotpegasi that didn't succeed 

[andrepedico1]

excellent!!!!!



[loebtmc]

(love this, weighing in, my mom was a classical pianist - both soloist and accompaniest - and was proud of that title when she did, indeed accompany singers or instrumentalists. Just sayin')

[GotGenealogy]

I LOVE this! Hilarious.

[KateJanzen]

I weep with tears of laughter.

What about photo copies of photo copies.. where you literally can't see the music it's so faded. That's always a fun one.

Or when you ask "What's the tempo?" and their answer is the time signature. *facepalm*

[mysnipits]

It's comedy. Comedy can both tell truths & exaggerate, usually with an attitude. Comedy sometimes upsets people, especially those who take themselves too serious. If you look at this Fifi & Fanny series you might notice there are other funny videos.

[larryraiken]

The above is, let's face it, good advice. I auditioned for and performed on Broadway and at New York City opera, and I have found it is a good idea to be a friend to your scene partner. The pianist is not a tool !

[dawlphin]

@larryraiken Depends on whom your pianist is as to whether they are a tool or not :)

[Lorinweiss]

May I add, "don't expect your pianist to teach you your rhythms."

[panda8s]

@Lorinweiss SO true!

[StanzeMzrt]

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! This was 100% true.

[LisaHarerdeCalvo]

This is hilarious and yet all too true. I have been playing for singers for over 25 years, and have experienced every single thing that was mentioned.

[Mooweedy]

This video supports the following comment: "pianists are temperamental. 90% temper and only 10% mental." this woman is no exception.-from an accomplished musician.

[FIFIandFANNY]

Thanks for all for your interesting dialogue. I knew #6 would have opinions on either side and yes, it was meant to provoke debate. However, I was married to a composer and most of my friends are composers and I never considered the photocopying issue. Awesome point. We have two other videos in this series due for release in the next few months but I feel the need to address how to work with composers. Thanks again for all your feedback.

[litenslick1]

@FIFIandFANNY Great video - however:

My mother was a fabulous "pianist" (classically trained), but told me that when she was in the "role" of "accompanying" an instrumentalist or singer, she was happy being called an accompanist. She told me that their roles are separate and unique.

"Pianists do not always good accompanists make" was her mantra. People should not automatically assume that because you can play piano, that you can also follow a singer. Learning this is a special skill.

[randomsoprano85]

@litenslick1 - I cannot like your comment enough.

[litenslick1]

@randomsoprano85 Thank you! I had to set the record straight. An excellent pianist can play the heck out of Chopin or Liszt, but be a complete nightmare when he/she tries to accompany a singer. "Speed up or slow down the tempo with your singing?" Yeah, right. They STILL insist on taking the piece the tempo that THEY think is correct. If you are really lucky, you will get a sensitive accompanist who actually listens to the tempo you want to take. :)

[ultimante]

First and foremost, pronounce the word "pianist" correctly. pee-ə-nist. Look it up in any dictionary. Pianists do not appreciate it when you mispronounce their name. Maybe you refuse to say it correctly because you think it sounds like penis, but that's what 12 year olds giggle at. You should ask a few of your friends who are pianists how to pronounce it correctly.

[FIFIandFANNY]

@ultimante Point taken!

[gameshowwinner]

@FIFIandFANNY - ultimante is incorrect. I was an announcer for many years at a classical music radio station in Chicago (98.7WFMT) and we NEVER pronounce it PEE'-ah-nist. Because you don't play a PEE'-ah-no - you play a pee-AH'-no. If you need further proof, the FIRST (which means "preferred") pronunciation in my Webster New World Dictionary reads: pe-an'-ist, as does every music dictionary. Do not listen to anyone who says otherwise. They are ill informed. LOVE your video!!

[bmh4d0k3n]

@ultimante I hear it pronounced as in the video ALL the time, such as by pianists, conductors, and classical radio announcers. You say pi-A-no, not PEE-ə-no.

[ultimante]

@bmh4d0k3n People mispronounce words all the time. It doesn't make them right, nor does it change the correct pronunciation.

[DivaWhisperer]

@ultimante There are no governing bodies of English pronunciation. Even "pronouncing dictionaries" are DEscriptive rather than PROscriptive--meaning they only attempt to catalog what is done. Being a pianist (in America) and knowing a large number of them, my experience is that most of us pronounce the word like we pronounce "piano"--substituting "ist" for the "o." Which is what was done here.

[chenderson1986]

@ultimante Actually, either pronunciation is acceptable

[chenderson1986]

@ultimante Actually, either pronunciation is acceptable.

[pchk1]

@ultimante

I am clueless on how you got to this "pee-ə-nist" pronunciation. I've always known myself as a pi-a-nist, just as the word is spelt. FIFIandFANNY's pronunciation is the proper one I've always heard it.

[grouproomslvc]

@ultimante

Okay, gotta jump in here and lash you with a wet noodle. As a masters degree holding pee ANN ist, I take issue with your assertion: your pronunciation is totally wrong...we don't play a PEE a no, do we?? Do we call those who play organ "or GANN ists"? NO!!!

I have been on a crusade to wipe out the misconception you are trying to reinforce...I don't know what kind of dictionaries you are looking in, but rest assured, they weren't compiled by pi ANNN ists!

[amopae]

I disagree with #6, I don't give a damn about being called an "accompanist"...I'm not going to feel any different about myself. I do hate the term "collaborative", the whole political correctness of it makes me want to puke...

[steve1605]

@TraurigeJunge: of course, I would insist that two copies be purchased, assuming that both the pianist and the vocalist need copies. Indeed, some publishers will only sell vocal music in sets of two because of this kind of piracy. Of course, if the vocalist is learning his/her part strictly by ear and never needs to look at a score, then one copy is enough. Remember: composers/editors/publishers do not work for free.

[TraurigeJunge]

@steve1605 Fair enough.

[TraurigeJunge]

I totally agree with number six. 

[peyson07]

Amen!! This is all SO true! The only thing I'd add is: "Always pay your pianist ON TIME and CONSISTENTLY. We ultimately don't care if you forgot your check book, and no, we don't want to just 'wait till next week' to get paid."

[baronvoncardo]

This dude is PISSED!

[steve1605]

This would be almost perfect...but it gives the idea that photocopied music is acceptable. In many cases, photocopies are both illegal and immoral.

[eloisa0517]

I agree with all the points you've made except #6. If you spend most of your time accompanying singers or other musicians,you are an accompanist. If I'm paying you to accompany me at my recital you ARE my accompanist. Every application for an audition or competition will ask "Would you like to bring your own accompanist?" Not pianist.

[beaglemusic]

I realize this is sarcastic, but all of this has happened in my world.

[sandymusic1000]

You forgot to mention two important things The piano should be TUNED!! And, when there is applause, the accompanist should be acknowledged too.

Also, I agree about the difference between pianist and accompanist. When you are performing with someone else, it is collaboration and hence, accompanist is the appropriate term.

[atlaswingpasaway]

would someone turn her to MRS. Smith now?

[FlaDavid954]

It seems like Miss Smith is being very sarcastic. However, she offers COMMON SENSE TIPS. Most ALL musicians never thinks about basic, COMMON SENSE issues. Time to wake the hell up! Great job, Miss Smith ;-D

[blackmilkalicious]

Andrew Gerle: "The Enraged Accompanist's Guide to the Perfect Audition". I swear by this book. :)

[muzikgenyus]

I disagree with #6. There is a definite difference between a pianist and an accompanist. That is why the term accompanist exists. It's a different art form. A pianist can play solo piano works. An accompanist collaborates with another musician, be it an instrumentalist or a vocalist, adding to the music. I consider myself an accompanist all the way. I can follow anyone, no matter how awful.... but I am definitely not a pianist.

[phantomofmusic1]

Haha! So true! The only thing I would add is singers who bring their music in a book that has no chance at all of staying open!

[jjaus]

Go Girl! As a former MD who has played at hundreds of auditions, I hear you. Worst was some bint who presented me with an aria from a book containing the full score which wouldn't stay open, in B, fast and full of accidentals. Glared at me because I couldn't keep up. NEXT!

[aragornthebrave]

@jjaus I hear that! So many singers think playing the piano is easy, and that singing is only for demi-gods. It took me years to do grade 8 piano, but I did G8 singing in 6 weeks! Piano is much harder - pianists are just highly skilled musicians ;)

[someonespadre]

Oh I get it, a Singer is a sewing machine HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!

[mattzart30]

HAHAHAH!  Perfect. Juuuust perfect. Pianists unite!

[singingflutelady]

Great video! Even though my name has singing in it I am not a singer. I am a flutist, not a flautist or a fluter ;)

[writeguysf]

How to treat my WHAT?!?