I used to be this way until I started smoking marijuana and empathizing more with people, seeing what makes us similar rather than what separates, intimidates or alienates us from each other. That realization (and it came slowly, with observation and practice) profoundly changed me. The best advice I could give is to see the other person *as* you, someone you *can* commnicate with ("seeing yourself in every stranger's eyes"). Of course it also helps to "know thyself" and communicate emotions :)
Hi nervousneuron, I'm almost over my anxiety condition which plagued me for 4 years and totally ruined my ability to enjoy my undergraduate experience. What I'd suggest to you is to look into The Linden Method, which is the strategy which has basically gotten me completely over my anxiety completely. You can also check out reddit . com / seduction which is really more a place for guys to just learn to get along better socially to meet girls -I've heard women say they learn a lot from that too.
I have so many similar social problems in my PhD program, but I have never been diagnosed. Thank you for posting this, I guess I am a psycho like I thought I was :)
@nervousneuron embarrassing, my bad, I did know the acronym, I didn't realize that on your letter the acronym in full words, instead of the study would be the only thing on their (considering people would refer to you as a doctor of neuroscience, if you do succeed)... never mind then, unlike philosophy, neuroscience poses actual practical uses, therefor I respect it. Good luck in your ventures.
hey hey! Have you heard about anxiety zero technique (I think its at anxiety0.info)? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my work buddy pretty much cured panick attacks with it.
Im horrible @small talk too. I have gotten so good @removing myself from others that I have invalidated my need to improve those skills bc it feels ingenuine. I have also become really good @writing others off. I tell myself its bc they are this or that, but its rly an excuse for me failing to get to know them. I liked when u said the thing about anxiety controlling ur life -so many times my mind just runs wild with self-deprecating thoughts. ur honesty is so refreshing and encouraging.Thank u!
Instead, get RATIONAL with the problem. Come up with statements to say to yourself when you feel that urge to mope or get frustrated. "Wait a minute... I'm having those thoughts again that I know aren't good for me. It's this habit of berating myself that keeps this negative cycle in place. I'm not going to let it happen anymore. I'm going to approach this calmly and rationally even if I don't feel like it."
Getting rational is good, and what you've explained sounds like the basis for cognitive behavioural therapy. It's much easier said than done. Most of the time, I know it's stupid. Rationally, so what if someone was to make fun of me eating? It's not my problem, they'd be the ones being dicks. Haha, actually when things like that happen, I tend to get less anxious. Anxiety for me is all about the 'what if something really bad will happen? [cont]
Who knows what that something is though'. Anxiety feeds on the unknown.
A lot of the thoughts are intrusive and I can recognise them. Which makes it not as bad as it could be. There is always the debate of doing something and putting up with anxiety VS avoiding something but also avoiding the anxiety.
@nervousneuron Yeah, it is always easier said than done. I'm much better now than I was 2-3 years ago, but I still suffer frequent setbacks. Looking back, I can see that the path that got me from the worst days of my anxiety to where I am now was about as crooked as could be.
I think it's safe to clump a lot of people suffering under the SA umbrella, but that doesn't mean that everyone's experience is exactly the same. What saved me from my own intrusive thinking was finding therapy that [cont]
[cont[ included homework. I saw therapists in the past that were helpful in the short term. We'd meet every couple weeks and talk about what I'd been feeling. They'd help me question my thinking, but without daily practice, biweekly sessions didn't do much good. Now that I've been practicing the cognitive methods daily, it's finally starting to soak into my brain. It really isn't enough to say, "that thought is irrational" and suddenly feel better. It has to be a constant, persistent effort.
Even though you might FEEL like crap after an event that you think went "awry," you still need to ignore that habit of wallowing in the mire of your own misfortune. This is so difficult because it's counterintuitive - it's natural to get emotional over something that makes us feel so badly. 99% of the time in the practical world, when things are disruptive in our lives, getting aggressive and trying to forcibly eradicate them DO work. This is not the case with anxiety. What you resist, persists.
This helps... Don't pressure yourself about the anxiety. It is really just a negative thinking cycle that we've programmed into our brains over time.If you ignore that urge to berate yourself or curse fate over your condition, it really makes everything easier. Just say to yourself, "well, I have anxiety. I don't like it, but I'm not going to pressure myself over this anymore.I'm going to make it a habit to approach this calmly and coolly and I'm not going to get emotional over this anymore."
Hey, I found your video because I've been looking up Social Anxiety Disorder (because I think I have some form of it or something) and while you were talking, I found that I could relate to what you talked about (except cutting classes, since I'd be more nervous about missing class than the class itself), so I found it very enlightening to hear someone talk about their experiences with Social Anxiety. I'm really glad you posted this video!
Everyone's different when it comes to social anxiety, and it's normal to worry about embarrassing yourself, etc but it becomes social anxiety disorder when it interferes with your life.
Hi, I enjoy your videos and I think your area of study is quite interesting and with a lot of future.
What surprises me is that you say you have social anxiety. How is it that you can show yourself so open in videos?. It is inconsistent to me. Could you explain?.
Don´t worry about small talk, you will manage it when you get a bit older, just say the same silly things people do without worring to say something smart all the time.
Simple, there is nobody else in the video! I do most of them when there is no one around for a reason. I would have liked to 'interview' people, etc but I'm too scared to ask the people.
I have not talked about things like this even to some of my closest friends, who don't even know the existence of these videos. If people don't like what I'm talking about, they can stop watching. If they keep watching, it's their own problem, but people can't do that in a social situation.
"Don't worry" is easy to tell yourself. but not easy to do. I am aware that I'm being irrational (as do most people with phobias) but that doesn't stop the anxiety. It's the same as "I have to cheer up" when you're depressed.
Some things don't make much sense either. Public speaking isn't bad (well it is, but everyone else finds it scary, not just the socially anxious) but talking on the phone and asking for something is.
Haha, it will take like 3 or 4 years to get the thesis out, I've barely designed the experiments :P Although I'll post the paper I'm working on at the moment if we get it published *cross fingers*.
Darn 8b I hate waiting for good news about psychoactives.
I experimented with 2CT7 and the 5MeOs (DMT,AMT, and DIPT) back when they were legal. No real social value unfortunately. They were more for turning on a light in the brain and tinkering with thought patterns.
Don't fret over befriending the other grads. Not all of them will be your friends; I've heard there can be real assholes in such programs.
But if you're going to be in the department for a while you will eventually warm up to a few people. I've found the best way to make friends is to take social risks; do things I would not ordinarily do, like start a conversation or something weird. You'll survive.
Thank goodness there are people who think eccentricities and "weirdness" are adorable and interesting. (wish there were more of them, and that the novelty didn't wear off so fast)
The hardest thing for me is explaining that an absence is not personal. Especially with online friends. If I'm "down", I'm down and it's almost as if there's a physical barrier between me and more intimate, social interaction. Public interaction, like say.. this.. commenting, I can seem to do in any state.
Yeah, there are a few people that genuinely seem to like it, usually because they're similar, but for many it's just a quick laugh and then they get over it. Then there are people who either don't notice or care about it.
I myself tend to come across as disinterested or spacey as well but usually I'm terrified or trying to monitor ever single thing I do. While I've never been told I come across as rude I do know that some of my friends found me a bit creepy earlier on. Consequently I tend to avoid people at the uni whenever possible and very rarely will I eat there. Recently I have tried expanding the limits of my comfort zone be it ever so slightly. I still come across as awkward though.
Yeah, agree with the friends finding me strange early on. That's how I do manage to find out some of this stuff because people I don't know very well obviously won't tell it to my face. But usually it's not as 'strange' as I think (or well feel) I am.
LOLOL i've had the same experience many times. people often think i'm just really rude but it's only anxiety.
it's good to keep things in perspective as much as possible. the world won't come to an end just because a social situation doesn't go too well - and a hundred years from now what will it matter anyway? it's best to just take it as it comes and not worry about social stuff too much if you can.
Yeah, that is true. Although it's easier said than done to say 'so what, it's not the end of the world'. I know it. I know logically that why on earth should I care what basically random people think of me. But I still don't feel that way.
It's because people with anxiety disorders do have insight and know their thoughts are irrational.
I used to be this way until I started smoking marijuana and empathizing more with people, seeing what makes us similar rather than what separates, intimidates or alienates us from each other. That realization (and it came slowly, with observation and practice) profoundly changed me. The best advice I could give is to see the other person *as* you, someone you *can* commnicate with ("seeing yourself in every stranger's eyes"). Of course it also helps to "know thyself" and communicate emotions :)
RubiconXing 2 months ago
Hi nervousneuron, I'm almost over my anxiety condition which plagued me for 4 years and totally ruined my ability to enjoy my undergraduate experience. What I'd suggest to you is to look into The Linden Method, which is the strategy which has basically gotten me completely over my anxiety completely. You can also check out reddit . com / seduction which is really more a place for guys to just learn to get along better socially to meet girls -I've heard women say they learn a lot from that too.
kudeki 3 months ago
I have so many similar social problems in my PhD program, but I have never been diagnosed. Thank you for posting this, I guess I am a psycho like I thought I was :)
oneprincesslea 3 months ago
ooh yikes, a PhD in philosophy... man just throw your money away. Good luck getting a job.
akallstar5 4 months ago
@akallstar5
lol, PhD stands for doctor of philosophy. It's actually in neuroscience.
nervousneuron 4 months ago
Comment removed
akallstar5 4 months ago
Comment removed
akallstar5 4 months ago
Comment removed
akallstar5 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@nervousneuron embarrassing, my bad, I did know the acronym, I didn't realize that on your letter the acronym in full words, instead of the study would be the only thing on their (considering people would refer to you as a doctor of neuroscience, if you do succeed)... never mind then, unlike philosophy, neuroscience poses actual practical uses, therefor I respect it. Good luck in your ventures.
akallstar5 4 months ago
Panic Away - How to Stop Panic Attacks General Anxiety Fast and Depression
Visit -----> ultimatewowguide.name
stripthatfatweightlo 5 months ago
hey hey! Have you heard about anxiety zero technique (I think its at anxiety0.info)? Ive heard some amazing things about it and my work buddy pretty much cured panick attacks with it.
ghostlycicada 7 months ago
Comment removed
racheleigh831 10 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Im horrible @small talk too. I have gotten so good @removing myself from others that I have invalidated my need to improve those skills bc it feels ingenuine. I have also become really good @writing others off. I tell myself its bc they are this or that, but its rly an excuse for me failing to get to know them. I liked when u said the thing about anxiety controlling ur life -so many times my mind just runs wild with self-deprecating thoughts. ur honesty is so refreshing and encouraging.Thank u!
racheleigh831 10 months ago
Comment removed
racheleigh831 10 months ago
Comment removed
racheleigh831 10 months ago
Comment removed
racheleigh831 10 months ago
Comment removed
racheleigh831 10 months ago
Comment removed
racheleigh831 10 months ago
Instead, get RATIONAL with the problem. Come up with statements to say to yourself when you feel that urge to mope or get frustrated. "Wait a minute... I'm having those thoughts again that I know aren't good for me. It's this habit of berating myself that keeps this negative cycle in place. I'm not going to let it happen anymore. I'm going to approach this calmly and rationally even if I don't feel like it."
poshko41 1 year ago
@poshko41
Getting rational is good, and what you've explained sounds like the basis for cognitive behavioural therapy. It's much easier said than done. Most of the time, I know it's stupid. Rationally, so what if someone was to make fun of me eating? It's not my problem, they'd be the ones being dicks. Haha, actually when things like that happen, I tend to get less anxious. Anxiety for me is all about the 'what if something really bad will happen? [cont]
nervousneuron 1 year ago
[cont]
Who knows what that something is though'. Anxiety feeds on the unknown.
A lot of the thoughts are intrusive and I can recognise them. Which makes it not as bad as it could be. There is always the debate of doing something and putting up with anxiety VS avoiding something but also avoiding the anxiety.
nervousneuron 1 year ago
@nervousneuron Yeah, it is always easier said than done. I'm much better now than I was 2-3 years ago, but I still suffer frequent setbacks. Looking back, I can see that the path that got me from the worst days of my anxiety to where I am now was about as crooked as could be.
I think it's safe to clump a lot of people suffering under the SA umbrella, but that doesn't mean that everyone's experience is exactly the same. What saved me from my own intrusive thinking was finding therapy that [cont]
poshko41 1 year ago
[cont[ included homework. I saw therapists in the past that were helpful in the short term. We'd meet every couple weeks and talk about what I'd been feeling. They'd help me question my thinking, but without daily practice, biweekly sessions didn't do much good. Now that I've been practicing the cognitive methods daily, it's finally starting to soak into my brain. It really isn't enough to say, "that thought is irrational" and suddenly feel better. It has to be a constant, persistent effort.
poshko41 1 year ago
Even though you might FEEL like crap after an event that you think went "awry," you still need to ignore that habit of wallowing in the mire of your own misfortune. This is so difficult because it's counterintuitive - it's natural to get emotional over something that makes us feel so badly. 99% of the time in the practical world, when things are disruptive in our lives, getting aggressive and trying to forcibly eradicate them DO work. This is not the case with anxiety. What you resist, persists.
poshko41 1 year ago
This helps... Don't pressure yourself about the anxiety. It is really just a negative thinking cycle that we've programmed into our brains over time.If you ignore that urge to berate yourself or curse fate over your condition, it really makes everything easier. Just say to yourself, "well, I have anxiety. I don't like it, but I'm not going to pressure myself over this anymore.I'm going to make it a habit to approach this calmly and coolly and I'm not going to get emotional over this anymore."
poshko41 1 year ago
Hey, I found your video because I've been looking up Social Anxiety Disorder (because I think I have some form of it or something) and while you were talking, I found that I could relate to what you talked about (except cutting classes, since I'd be more nervous about missing class than the class itself), so I found it very enlightening to hear someone talk about their experiences with Social Anxiety. I'm really glad you posted this video!
jedimastervandar 2 years ago
Thanks for the comment :)
Everyone's different when it comes to social anxiety, and it's normal to worry about embarrassing yourself, etc but it becomes social anxiety disorder when it interferes with your life.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
Hi, I enjoy your videos and I think your area of study is quite interesting and with a lot of future.
What surprises me is that you say you have social anxiety. How is it that you can show yourself so open in videos?. It is inconsistent to me. Could you explain?.
Don´t worry about small talk, you will manage it when you get a bit older, just say the same silly things people do without worring to say something smart all the time.
Thanks.
tubo1812 2 years ago
Simple, there is nobody else in the video! I do most of them when there is no one around for a reason. I would have liked to 'interview' people, etc but I'm too scared to ask the people.
I have not talked about things like this even to some of my closest friends, who don't even know the existence of these videos. If people don't like what I'm talking about, they can stop watching. If they keep watching, it's their own problem, but people can't do that in a social situation.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
"Don't worry" is easy to tell yourself. but not easy to do. I am aware that I'm being irrational (as do most people with phobias) but that doesn't stop the anxiety. It's the same as "I have to cheer up" when you're depressed.
Some things don't make much sense either. Public speaking isn't bad (well it is, but everyone else finds it scary, not just the socially anxious) but talking on the phone and asking for something is.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
Gday, Nice to see more Australians on here.
0BreakOnThrough0 2 years ago
Thanks for the video :D
nervousneuron 2 years ago
very annoying noise in the background
AoIministrator 2 years ago
I *hate* it. It's because I have one of those cheapo video cameras off ebay.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
You're so cool!
Yeah!
Just let it be.
cheers.
PerversoActor 2 years ago
Love the 20 sided die T!! Have fun, post your thesis online when you're done... would love to read it!
enotdetcelfer 2 years ago
Thanks! Critical hit!
Haha, it will take like 3 or 4 years to get the thesis out, I've barely designed the experiments :P Although I'll post the paper I'm working on at the moment if we get it published *cross fingers*.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
Darn 8b I hate waiting for good news about psychoactives.
I experimented with 2CT7 and the 5MeOs (DMT,AMT, and DIPT) back when they were legal. No real social value unfortunately. They were more for turning on a light in the brain and tinkering with thought patterns.
Look forward to the paper, what is it about?
enotdetcelfer 2 years ago
Congrats on the acceptance Doctor Neuron.
Don't fret over befriending the other grads. Not all of them will be your friends; I've heard there can be real assholes in such programs.
But if you're going to be in the department for a while you will eventually warm up to a few people. I've found the best way to make friends is to take social risks; do things I would not ordinarily do, like start a conversation or something weird. You'll survive.
HenhousetheRed 2 years ago
Thanks :) I'm not too worried about being their friends, but I would like to be able to deal with other people like that without significant anxiety.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
Thank goodness there are people who think eccentricities and "weirdness" are adorable and interesting. (wish there were more of them, and that the novelty didn't wear off so fast)
The hardest thing for me is explaining that an absence is not personal. Especially with online friends. If I'm "down", I'm down and it's almost as if there's a physical barrier between me and more intimate, social interaction. Public interaction, like say.. this.. commenting, I can seem to do in any state.
gotilk 2 years ago
Yeah, there are a few people that genuinely seem to like it, usually because they're similar, but for many it's just a quick laugh and then they get over it. Then there are people who either don't notice or care about it.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
I agree it's tough.
I myself tend to come across as disinterested or spacey as well but usually I'm terrified or trying to monitor ever single thing I do. While I've never been told I come across as rude I do know that some of my friends found me a bit creepy earlier on. Consequently I tend to avoid people at the uni whenever possible and very rarely will I eat there. Recently I have tried expanding the limits of my comfort zone be it ever so slightly. I still come across as awkward though.
Pallandoii 2 years ago
Yeah, agree with the friends finding me strange early on. That's how I do manage to find out some of this stuff because people I don't know very well obviously won't tell it to my face. But usually it's not as 'strange' as I think (or well feel) I am.
nervousneuron 2 years ago
LOLOL i've had the same experience many times. people often think i'm just really rude but it's only anxiety.
it's good to keep things in perspective as much as possible. the world won't come to an end just because a social situation doesn't go too well - and a hundred years from now what will it matter anyway? it's best to just take it as it comes and not worry about social stuff too much if you can.
WeirdUniverse 2 years ago
Yeah, that is true. Although it's easier said than done to say 'so what, it's not the end of the world'. I know it. I know logically that why on earth should I care what basically random people think of me. But I still don't feel that way.
It's because people with anxiety disorders do have insight and know their thoughts are irrational.
nervousneuron 2 years ago