How Asperger's Syndrome affected my life when I was younger

[Essanach]

I just found out I have aspergers & I'm in my 30's. It explains a lot as I've had difficulties all my life. I've only just started watching videos by people with aspergers in the last few days & it's a strange sensation. It's like finally finding people are talking my language and it's not just about what they say but even about how they say it. I find the way they talk very soothing. I could listen to you talk all day. I have the same feeling listening to InjuredMinds. I'm not used to that.

[Bibilo2006]

I don't have Asperger's, but I completely empathise with your point about obsessiving over friends. I love my friends so much I find it hard to believe they like me the same, and I have to make sure I talk to them as much as I can and try and show my appreciation for them otherwise my confidence gets rocked to the extent that I obsess about how they see me even more.

[gorramdoll]

aw yeah

it's a hard time liking people too much :)

[Bibilo2006]

hahah it really is, I wish I was friends with someone like you so that I'd always know that the feeling would at least be mutual. Or maybe two friends being extremely obsessive at the same time would lead to even worse scenarios, I dunno haha

[gorramdoll]

I'm trying to remember times it has happened to me but I think that a lot of the time one person ends up being the stalker-y/obsessive person and the other person gets a rare taste of what it's like being a normal person. it's like the stalker-friends fight for dominance

[Bibilo2006]

haha you mean like a competition of "I can be the clingiest"? :P

[stracloud]

Awesome video. I'm not really sure if I can type this out the same way i think about it in my brain. But your an awesome person. If someone can develop awesome friendships with special people, then being socially perfect and normal isn't that important. Well that's not really what I wanted to say but it's part of it. Oh also, your music rules, as does your fondness for Neutral Milk Hotel. I love Jeff. But your unique. If you weren't the person you are you might not have this special talent....

[gorramdoll]

oh! well, thank you.

[AgentCROCODILE]

My parents want me to be able to drive a car. Unfortunately today I just sat in mom's car and attempted to "get a feel of it" and I couldn't see shit on the roads!

And there is almost zero symmetry with a car. Imagine if I always steer to the left just to "align myself" on the road!

With a motorcycle this type of thing isn't so hard. I think I'll be sticking with a motorcycle for a long time now...

[gorramdoll]

wait, how are old are you?

[jmjlane]

@AgentCROCODILE I`m Aspie and have always preferred to ride motorcycles.

[AgentCROCODILE]

@jmjlane I recently got tested for car driving abilities, and soon I will be restricted to riding an automatic car, but my motorcycle license will remain as it is.

I guess large chunky vehicles are harder to control for me than a motorcycle, probably because I have been riding pushbikes for 12-13 years before I got into motorcycling.

[thesupersapians]

Thank you for sharing your memories. I identified with around half of it. Mostly the class clown/ weird kid. I did exactly the same. It was natural, I thought everyone else was weird. Once when I was like 12 I said "I would root David Bowie." Months later kids were still coming up to me with screwed up faces saying, "Would you really root David Bowie?"

[gorramdoll]

what does root mean? Is root a slang term for sex, or something?

If it is, I told people I would have sex with goats, or snails, or something, so I win the horrible ideas contest.

[thesupersapians]

Yes down here "root" is slang for sexual intercourse. I imagine it comes from "to root around" Think a pigs snout snuffling and digging into the earth, might be the odd snail there.

[gorramdoll]

That's actually a great word, I'm jealous.

[wolfgirleatsbaby]

i like everything you have to say and i find it very relatable but i am having trouble leaving you a comment about how much i enjoy your videos because it makes me feel cheesy or awkward and overbearing

[gorramdoll]

aww that's really cute.

[emlee09]

I have a lot of trouble making friends too, I was diagnosed with Asperger's 2 years ago when I went into the hospital with severe panic attacks, I was just starting my junior year then and I was only 16, I remember I'm now almost 19 I've graduated high school and I'm not going to college, I don't know what I want to do with my life yet, I still have panic attacks once in a while but I'm on medication for that, I know its really hard living with Aspergers

[gorramdoll]

That sucks! My friend has panic attacks, I don't know much about it though. He doesn't like to talk about it. Are you sure you don't ever want to go to college/can't? It's been really good for me because I can live much more independently than when I lived with my parents, but I'm still in kind of a kid mode and not expected to act totally responsible for everything.

[jjazman1234]

The other thing I want to say is that you seem really smart, & I can tell that you think things through a lot and over-analyze. I also do that. But don't be too hard on yourself. Just because you don't always feel like you can do what other people do doesn't mean that you can't do incredible things.  I'm trying to think of a good analogy. You mentioned a disabled person not being able to go upstairs. But maybe they can go into another room that nobody else can get in. Does that make sense?

[dietcokewithcherry]

I love that analogy. :)

[jjazman1234]

Thanks for responding to my video request. I feel honored. I just have a couple of comments. You didn't come across as a jerk. I'm not sure why you think that except that you seem a little hard on yourself (which I understand because I'm the same way). I think you should die your hair blue if that's what you want, but don't do it to punish yourself because you think you don't think you deserve to fit in. I'm running out of room so I will make another comment.

[Amilee84]

So maybe society would get used to people acting "different" and just regard it as an expression of individuality or whatever.

Like, people dye their hair blue. People get piercings.

Some people have brown eyes and some people have black skin or white skin or whatever. Some people like golf, or collecting stamps; some flail their hands when they feel uncomfortable or upset.

It SHOULDN'T be such a huge problem. And it gets me really upset that society MAKES it a big problem. =(

[gorramdoll]

aww.

Well, many autistic people do have bigger problems like not being able to speak etc. I'm sort of afraid that it might seem like I'm trying to communicate "being autistic is no big deal" because for some people it can be a really big deal and it can be a lot more about them not being able to do things that would help them live independently, than just doing things that are weird. But I still think acceptance of difference is good for all disabled people. Sorry if I'm being pedantic.

[Amilee84]

No, you're right. I should have been more specific: I was speaking of people with mild disability who COULD fit into the world if given the chance of not being treated like freaks or weirdos.

About highly disabled people, sure, they need more help than others, but the point is there is nothing wrong with that. They should be part of society too, even if they don't "live in it".

Am I making any sense? Ugh, it's kinda difficult to say exactly what I mean in English, as it's not my native language.

[gorramdoll]

yeah definitely.

I just feel like some people who are for disability rights act as if there's one kind of disabled people which is like people with Asperger's or people with mobility impairment, and then while advocating for themselves they don't talk about people who have pretty severe communication/mental impairments. And that sort of freaks me out since some people really do need a lot of help (and like you said, there's nothing wrong with that).

[Amilee84]

At the same time it's great to know that you pulled through so well.

You making these videos is also very cool. Before them, I barely knew what autistic meant (I just took for granted whatever they fed me on TV / in books). I think there should be much more awareness in "normal" society about people with disabilities, about how they act and what they go through. There should be more VISIBILITY.

[Amilee84]

Oh.

This was a little harder to sit through (as opposed to part I).

This whole thing about doctors/ psychiatrists screwing up people's dianosis -- a fact which could jeopardize the patient's chance of having a normal life if their problem is not dealt with properly --- really scares the sh*t out of me. I mean, it could happen to my child one day (I've I'm ever gonna have one), or a relative or whatever.

I can't even begin to comprehend what you must have been through.

[gorramdoll]

ha sorry I'm a big rambler. yeah, the meds thing was kind of ridiculous, I tend to forget it even happened because it's so crazy. A few years ago I read an article in New York Magazine or something that was a girl, who I think didn't have any disabilities except maybe mild depression or ADD, who got totally fucked with by a psychiatrist when she was in high school and her first few years of college. She was having episodes or something, even, because of the meds. I think that if you know what to

[gorramdoll]

be afraid of, you'll probably be better at figuring out who is the right doctor for your kid, if your kid ends up needing meds. I mean, if I remember correctly the psychiatrist who prescribed me all those things barely acknowledged the fact that I had Asperger's, which is kind of a warning sign, since I know now that a lot of things that make sense for an AS person (like "blunted affect," which means all your emotional reactions are very low-key or seem fake) are signs of schizophrenia in other

[gorramdoll]

people. Because the overmedication of kids and adults is such a well-known problems now, you'll be on the lookout for it if you take your kid to a psychiatrist so there's probably not as much danger of someone getting in a bad situation.

[Amilee84]

No, no, I'm really glad that you mentioned the things you had to go through. It's was very eye-opening.

And yeah, hopefully one day these cases of misdiagnosing and overmedication will stop everywhere.