Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just For Woman He Follows

[Twilight0299]

XD. Have the same camera :)

[pimpsonparade]

Pause at 1:22.

[Apiaanilol]

This would have been great if the title haven't spoiled it.

[97bmhn]

This is one of my favorites!! :)

[noskipepi]

LMAO!! 1:51

[LaGoonch]

That was fucked...

[ajgurung7]

lol stalker much

[elcool]

Love the onion... but this one not so much... Title is too spoilery and the content can't support itself.

[Chaoskiller34]

"... and good luck to all you woman out there" lol multiple meanings win!

[RammsteinTranslator]

lol @ 1:22 you can see him holding the camera in the mirror of his car.

[writersblock91289]

@RammsteinTranslator no shit, sherlock

[Ninjoel]

aaaand GOOOOD luck to all you women out there...

[steviesbackbitch]

another classic

[TheNYCbarbiegirl]

omg omg omg omg omg, sooo funny hahahaha :D

[The222watcher]

wow, i think that guy may be stalking her

[The222watcher]

hot tears on your neck

[The222watcher]

Ugly balding mouth breathing husband lol

[MsPool89]

LOL!!!i think its fake :))

[jadeyes914]

@MsPool89 you think? the news station is called "The Onion". that should've been obvious

[writersblock91289]

@MsPool89 you're an idiot

[TheJasonDR]

hot tears on your neck

[ShaithMaster]

they should have left off stalker in the title, then this would be gold cuz it would fool some people at first

[ocbiswasichdreh]

america women have only one problem...Men"

[shadowstepster10]

@ocbiswasichdreh  and spelling right?

[Wasabifold]

This would have been a 1000 times better if the title didn't suck ass.

[WatchmenDrManhattan]

If I woudent know any better I would say that he is a stalker.

[wildhias]

the only regretable thing is that the title gives it all a way and "jumps out of the fiction"

[slayman123]

1:20 hes in the mirror!!!!

[Lachdenan]

Too bad women buy dumb shit and don't work as hard, eh?

[dafluffymanatee]

No I want a video of how to save money IF YOUR a stalker!

[JuanDVene]

@tiblon1 Can u please say that in English? I dont speak Russian very well

[YusufAlaseeri]

Sometimes I wonder how The Onion come up with all these crazy stories that are still believed by some...

[napischu]

Atleast he knows what he wants in life. Cheers to that mate!

[fenserka]

I laughed so much...

[ALEXUNDERVIV777]

lol on hidden

cameras especially the last night vision one. These guys are amazing

[enjoylifedude]

i wanted the blood.....i wanted the blod...

[x3DxNGUx]

Ugly Mouth Balding husband LMAO

[Strikerklm96]

LOL pause at 1:22

[brian2132351]

Stalker <.<

[GeorgeDeadson]

You just want to reach out and hug these women and pull them close to your body and feel their hot tears on your neck. But you can do that even though your're so close. lol

[FourthDerivative]

What a shame. America's hard-working women deserve so much better. Especially you, my lovely Julia, if you're reading this.

[cmblack]

"Instead of an expensiv vacation, undress slowly on the back deck" XD

[SophistAtheist]

this looks so real lololol

[Carmarthan415]

wow look at his ears...

[kincaide3]

haha

"good luck to all women out there..."

"you bet..."

haha love The Onion

[arandajose20]

the last one was extra creepy.

[alecnovella]

WHAT THE FUCK is this real???

[brbafkgtg]

@alecnovella of course it is. It's sundays at 9 pm

[Kpro4]

@alecnovella yup. as real as it gets!

[matrixch88]

@alecnovella what a stupid question of course it's real!

[VelaToNorma7]

@alecnovella lol we know you're kidding no one is that stupid

[ziosuna]

@alecnovella no it's not real

[Hausofcozy108]

@alecnovella Of course its real

[christentze]

lol, the onion is so fkn hilarious. it almost makes me feel bad for laughing since this kind of stalking happens so frequently in real life.

[TheBatchGuy]

@christentze I'm a stalker. :D

[RosieHamster]

my mom's not like this. lol

[deathangel555s]

i love how the videos are totally stalker images

[chipmunx]

@deathangel555s They go from being innocuous, possible stock vids and just start getting creepier and creepier, that's the beauty of it.

[lol101lol101lol10199]

LOL! The interviewers don't even seem to realize he's actually a stalker!

I guess they must have figured it out after because it says in the title, but still.

They are REALLY STUPID! Probably an IQ under 30 LMAO!!

[deathbycupcake25]

@lol101lol101lol10199 you do understand that this is a joke right

[lol101lol101lol10199]

@deathbycupcake25 Yeah, it's like a joke. A joke is what it is. He's so ignorant it's almost funny. I wonder if they called the police after, or at least the stalked woman, I mean who knows what could happen...

[LilJay03]

@lol101lol101lol10199 lol you're a funny person you are

[spencermel]

this is so awsome!

[animelvr99]

this man legit freaks me out.

Onion you are amazing.

last scene..(shivers)

[NE0NBL00D]

like, say he gets run down across the street from his office at 536 broome st.

[linkheir3]

funny man

[fintimhikins]

1:22 lol

[Daedalus294]

evangelical christians suck...they give all christians a bad name, especially Mormons lolz.

[Morahman7vnNo2]

Wow, what dedicated Stalker, it's a lot more tedious than it looks like.

[blackberryboop]

LMAO

[jxsilicon9]

LOL!

[ginger0215]

@Xezatt can i tell you something, it is a secret so you can't tell anyone. This isn't a real news station... none of it is real, it is made to look real to make you laugh.

[Xezatt]

@ginger0215

can i tell you something, i knew its fake.

i just like to say its real, so i can get smartass

replies from the smartasses, and

laugh about it. xD

[ginger0215]

@Xezatt okay, i can't blame you. I have done that before.

[Kiroswan]

@Xezatt i laugh about nerds like you gg

[Xezatt]

@Kiroswan you too. that makes two of us

[zuttitiyay]

lmao u are an idiot

[Visfen]

1:50 good luck. :D

[heyjunky]

LOL @ 1:48

[jaggo84]

1:23 ....Oh, no! LOL

[cockycornflake]

Lmao stroking hair at end.

[MadCat360]

Good luck to all the women? With guys like Dan here, they don't have to worry about a thing. He's got their back.

[rosesarereadable]

rofl

[rarosera]

LOL... "you just want to reach out and hug these women and pull them close to your body and feel their hot tears on your neck but you just can't do that even though they are so close...'

[TheUndertakerSaysRIP]

hahahahah stalker

[TimGraupner]

the title for this one is too obvious

[TheBatchGuy]

@TimGraupner Some of TheOnion videos aren't meant to fool people. This one was for a lulz.

[TimGraupner]

@TheBatchGuy yeah i know but i like when the title is like the headline

[xMyMichellex]

Haha that was savage.

[nlytend1]

goddamn...this shit is too good for tv

[LAMFi1ms]

Ha ha, the night vision at the end

[W8HairAddict]

that was creppy

[DemonixSD]

@W8HairAddict - pronounced creepy

[GKid51892]

@entehrend ..........gosh, do you think so?

[slothman07]

OMG YOU ARE SO SMART

[e105b5]

rofl when satire and funny is in the description and people still say "this is fake"

[irishnllmk]

this onw was good,feel her hot tear on your neck lmao!

[khemam]

anyway, another great video, I'm subscribing.

happy newyear for somalia to.

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

We trolls devour all humans with equal fervor. But that Hershey's Kisses question was especially funny!

P.S. Ever noticed how stalkers ALWAYS deny it? If someone says they're a stalker, they almost never are. ;)

[mikeyakamichael]

Xp well, i doubt stalkers would tell the truth. ^_^ so indeed you are right.

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

@mikeyakamichael "I"m not some crazy stalker! I'm her devoted fan!

[mikeyakamichael]

hahaha!!!

[axedrecista]

lloooollll 1:22 what a stalker perv!

[awarenessis]

Pseudo-Rich live within your means and get out of my food line!! You immigrants too!!

[iIikecheez]

haha 1:22 u can see the stalker video taping xDDD

[savagepapaya]

Funny video. Favorite!

[HisMajestyJahoosa]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!

[IPawnt]

LOL this is good stuff

[SmartStart24]

LMAO

[trueQ42]

1:21 ....LOL!

[Xmaggot93X]

It really would be better if The Onion didn't reveal the entire story in the video title. They should make it along the lines of "Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips for Women", that way we can actually have a laugh when we realize the satire :)

[PKNproductions]

thats how they usually do it. the guy who did the actualy upload screwed up

SOMEBODY is not getting the raise he would like to have.

lol

[Whats7His7Name7]

@Xmaggot93X i like knowing exactly what im getting into. also, its always so well executed it doesnt matter that i already know the theme

[chulie87]

haaaaaaaa just great

[ZarMarquez]

I love you can see his face in the mirror.

[dlfnzrok]

hahaha

[sdgdsgs]

lol, he shoves guy while holding camera

[bretp99]

That reporter had a lot of good advice! I appreciate how he went out of his way to get that compelling footage, which some of you have unfairly characterized as stalking. He's just a reporter who picked a random woman for the story. Surely.

[mitchtay99]

I'd offer this advice to a lot of women I'm after

[mitchtay99]

Especially to those gorgeous Somali girls love sweet wrapped chocolate morsels

[confidentgal]

do u even know any somali women?

[SupraTT90]

what is a somali women? every time i try to pronounce it i say small woman. Is it a small woman, ew ;(

[foulbeershits]

Somalia is a country in Africa.

[SupraTT90]

lol i was joking :)

[mitchtay99]

where all those pirates come from

[mitchtay99]

Somalia. A country in East Africa. There are lots of immigrants from Somalia here in America, Seattle and Minneapolis are cities with lots of them. Women from Somalia, at least to me, are what I find to be the most attractive women on Earth.  Soft, velvety chocolate morsels in brightly-colored, easy-to-open wrappings.

[THEAO44]

wait, are you talking about Somalians or Hershey kisses chocolates?

[mitchtay99]

Somali women are big hershey kisses.

[mitchtay99]

And I don't mind getting some of the wrapping stuck in my teeth

[jetsam50000]

Weird...

[SilverBackFalcon]

most of them live in columbus, ohio. like 1/3 of the population here is somalian ppl. no lie.

[foulbeershits]

what the fuck was that creepy bullshit?

[MorroccoSurrogate]

Ha, I love how it gets creepier and creepier as it goes on.

[TwelveBells]

lol. it's not creepy - loser - he's just in love!! lol! sounds like someone's never been there ...

[amnesiaguess]

... just get away from us ok

[TwelveBells]

you know some women still believe in love - you don't speak for EVERY-ONE.

loser.

(errm, I'm being forced to play this out further than I had anticipated ...)

[amnesiaguess]

no not talking about the love part, just how the guy shows his love by stalking someone who is already married.... loser?

[crsalovesyou]

haha this shit is great

[hottsttuff34]

creeeper :O lol

[42317]

Creepy...

[toddyphunk]

hot tears on your neck haha wth

[seangg2114]

Stalker status.. Haha!

[Ikickhardcoreass]

you cant hate the onion. its actually helping alot. it makes real problems we face to day into parodies. kind of like sarcasm. say your a bad person and you ask some1 am i a good person they say o yea(sarcasm) makes you think. point is its pointing out the fucked up issues we face to day with a funny appraoch

[jomommashawt]

are you mentally retarded?

[Ikickhardcoreass]

no. why dont you troll other people. iv seen your channel. its mad retarded

[Chaseevers]

Agreed

[DarthSkater6]

Hahahahaha! These guys are so brilliant! What a clever skit.

[ZackPotts1221]

how do people serously get mad over this. u try to take up for causes that are ridiculous(like bashing this video) bc its the only way u get attention. I LOVE THE ONION!

[Gremmy]

lol

[kingr33per]

what a nice man

[AoE96]

dey r gunna keel us allz bois dem guvrnment cuntr0wled bastreds

[EliteZ96]

Win.

[kittensmeowing]

fuckin freako sexist stalker. I'd like to watch him burn in hell. (i know he's not a real character, but if he was).

[racerfanracerfan]

No way, he's my hero!

[finnpr]

my god, You suck at spelling...

[cab09021FTW]

LoL kid u cant spake for shit rACIS

frizle dollas the onkly dollers holla holla get em

[MitchTEHguy]

The fuck did you just say? That made no sense at all.

[LilJay03]

HAHA ctfcDSA! what do you check up on this video daily. Wow buddy. I didn't even comment on your comment. Your crap still makes noooooo sense.

[XXflapjaxXX]

Dude relax. Hes just joking.

[FtlofM]

Trolled

[Babeyyangel]

Wow,some of you guys really need to learn english. The way you talk hurts my eyes.

[ctfcDSA]

and YOU need to lern2putspaces after comas

moran!

[invalidphantom]

HAHAHA I've got fear in my soul now =)

[MasterOfFlash92]

The onion might not be a real news network but their stories aint that far from how things look in the us the last couple of years.

Love The onion btw! ^^

[LilJay03]

Oh my Fucking god ctfcDSA learn how to fucking write. Gaaaaah

[ctfcDSA]

u stupd dumass dis is not how i even write irl i use proper speling and grammer but dis show is reel i knjo but the guvrnment is putting lies into you're head end u r believing it

Get a brain, moran.

[imbetterthanu2]

Thank you for making my day ctfcDSA! Man I never laughed that hard in months.