Like this video and most times black people talk about "self-hate" isn't a legitimate claim about if someone has a problem with their racial identity--it's just a way of saying, "a black person, to value their identity, must be open to or date their own race." And btw, yes there are blacks who legitimately have brutal experiences from their own race. You can't just call it an excuse as if it's not a legitimate issue or feeling. People make dating choices strategically. That's their right.
@acousticboi Never said all. It's a straw man to say that I said "all." I said "THERE ARE" as in, "there exists." You can't act like I'm making a simplistic blanket statement. I'm rejectin gyour overall blanket argument that ALL black people who argue that they do not date within their race are ones who exhibit self hate. I'm actually asking for more nuance in the same way that you assert I'm not doing. I think it's wrong to condemn people who have legit experiences as self-hating.
@acousticboi For some people--especially black men-- its not just 'some' or 'few' but sometimes MOST. To deny that possibility is illogical, it freaking happens to black men who are trying to survive places like ivy league schools who tell me over and over how MOST so called "sisters" tell them they aren't black enough. You were a great policy debater man, don't pull this ignorant stuff by mislabeling my argument because it's not comfortable to deal with what I'm literally saying.
@acousticboi True, but after a point, if a person has had enough bad experiences, why should she or he drive themself crazy and limiting themself to only one race? I personally don't believe in"black" love cause the term itself is racist. I didn't know that black love was any more genuine than other ppl's relationships. Since when did love only pertain to black people?
@DaPrincess007 WHAT?? i never said black people should only date/marry/fuck/ other blacks i said they should close off the possibility and just becuz u had a few bad exps doesnt mean alll blk ppl are the worst...and never did i say love only applies to black people come on now...and how is it racist to have different forms of love??? look it up...
@acousticboi Okay cool, I'm glad that you don't have a problem with people dating who they want. But as before, I didn't know love was based on a person's ethnicity. I know not all black people are bad, but regardless, to dismiss someone's continuously bad experiences with other people of their race is wrong in itself.
I think the term "self hate" is misused. If people say "self hate" when folks say things like "I don't date other black people," then the use of that term is completely wrong. It is ironically racist, as it authorizes one person to speak for another's racial self-concept--as if they know that the "authentic black self" must necessarily be open to dating other black people. That's like saying a short person who only dates tall people doesn't hate themselves.
@bvelvet63 Bad analogy....but on to your argument...i am not appealing to the notion of a authentic black self obvi you didnt hear the part of the (1:35) where i discuss this...hands down i think black love is beautiful and to deny the possibility of that is damning for our psyches and the feeling of comfort that some of us need
@acousticboi I did pay close attention (as a former black debater, I tend to do that). My problem is with your judgment that people who do not open themselves up to dating black people is "daming to the group's psychology or feeling of comfort for the community." My argument is an individualist one--not a communtarian one that is adopted too damn often. I think it's important for each person--on their own terms--to decide whatever criteria they have for who they are intimately open to.
@acousticboi YOU think black love is beautiful. I agree. But you aren't showing empathy with those people who have honest experiences of being ripped apart by black people in the intimate space. This is esp. true with black kids I've mentored who by their own accord are torn apart by 'sisters' who call them 'gay' and 'white boy' because they don't act like the stereotype. So I defend their right to protect themselves from trauma that you don't take as seriously in 3:20-3:21.
@bvelvet63 I agree with this. I'm a black female that doesn't date black men. My family and I all suffered because of black men that have hurt us. We kept on getting hurt and after we found happiness with people who happen to be other races. So thank you for defending us.
I don't know how on-topic this is but maybe it will steer a dialogue. I'm a white guy and I while back I was flirting with a black girl at work. Genuinely flirting but she kept blowing me off. She said her family would never go for it and I said it's a shame. She asked if I was interested in her for being black. I said "no." I liked her and she happened to be black. In my mind, there was no difference. Just because I've never dated a black girl, doesn't imply I wouldn't. That's my experience.
I think every black and white person should read this here blog entry on the words black and white and how their connotations over time have caused such racial uproar. its not long but its very good.
And how about these black folks that can do nothing but criticize the black women that go natural. So I follow a ton of girls that have natural hair and its so sad how so many black women accuse them of being mixed, having good hair, or having some white in their family somewhere. These women are trying to educate and inspire more women to go natural and they can not do anything but complain their hair would never look like that and the person is mixed and is lying about it. Its so stupid!
@STORMYB i agree with you sooooo much i think it is much bigger than dating i think i am going to do more videos about desiring whiteness...but this was just something that happened to me recently and i had to comment on it
@acousticboi good cause this is a big topic.....it starts with the physical bc we tend to hate anything that reflects an african heritage. let me not say we cause thats definitely not me.
Oh you done got me started now..... :) This issue is so big because its just not dating either. Its my opinion that most of the blacks that could come and help the black community out in a big positive way, no longer desire to even be around us. They get their degrees and high powered jobs and move into their gated communities and forget we even exist. I do not understand how so many black people aspiring to be successful and that are successful believe the way 2 help us is 2 forget we exist.
@acousticboi the ones i know always say black people always do this or this is ghetto i feel like most of them cant help they enviorment i dnt like how they put other races at such high standards they always refuse to attend blk schools n shoppin places as if they better than that i feel like anyone thats any race could make a fool out of themselves and could commit a crime
I really understand your position. I have always heard that I was not like other Black people...oh you speak differently. And I am from central Georgia my high school was 98% black and I attended Clark Atlanta University and it is crazy what come out of other Black people's mouth. I feel it is generational self hate with in the black race. When something and/or someone mirror self and the person hates self there is a hate fueled by mainstream false culture,sexuality,standards,intelligence etc
Like this video and most times black people talk about "self-hate" isn't a legitimate claim about if someone has a problem with their racial identity--it's just a way of saying, "a black person, to value their identity, must be open to or date their own race." And btw, yes there are blacks who legitimately have brutal experiences from their own race. You can't just call it an excuse as if it's not a legitimate issue or feeling. People make dating choices strategically. That's their right.
bvelvet63 7 months ago
@bvelvet63 brutal experiences with few or some not all...thats bogus to labels all of us as evil....thas prejudice regardless of those experiences
acousticboi 6 months ago
@acousticboi Never said all. It's a straw man to say that I said "all." I said "THERE ARE" as in, "there exists." You can't act like I'm making a simplistic blanket statement. I'm rejectin gyour overall blanket argument that ALL black people who argue that they do not date within their race are ones who exhibit self hate. I'm actually asking for more nuance in the same way that you assert I'm not doing. I think it's wrong to condemn people who have legit experiences as self-hating.
bvelvet63 6 months ago
@acousticboi For some people--especially black men-- its not just 'some' or 'few' but sometimes MOST. To deny that possibility is illogical, it freaking happens to black men who are trying to survive places like ivy league schools who tell me over and over how MOST so called "sisters" tell them they aren't black enough. You were a great policy debater man, don't pull this ignorant stuff by mislabeling my argument because it's not comfortable to deal with what I'm literally saying.
bvelvet63 6 months ago
@acousticboi True, but after a point, if a person has had enough bad experiences, why should she or he drive themself crazy and limiting themself to only one race? I personally don't believe in"black" love cause the term itself is racist. I didn't know that black love was any more genuine than other ppl's relationships. Since when did love only pertain to black people?
DaPrincess007 5 months ago
@DaPrincess007 WHAT?? i never said black people should only date/marry/fuck/ other blacks i said they should close off the possibility and just becuz u had a few bad exps doesnt mean alll blk ppl are the worst...and never did i say love only applies to black people come on now...and how is it racist to have different forms of love??? look it up...
acousticboi 5 months ago
@acousticboi Okay cool, I'm glad that you don't have a problem with people dating who they want. But as before, I didn't know love was based on a person's ethnicity. I know not all black people are bad, but regardless, to dismiss someone's continuously bad experiences with other people of their race is wrong in itself.
DaPrincess007 5 months ago
I think the term "self hate" is misused. If people say "self hate" when folks say things like "I don't date other black people," then the use of that term is completely wrong. It is ironically racist, as it authorizes one person to speak for another's racial self-concept--as if they know that the "authentic black self" must necessarily be open to dating other black people. That's like saying a short person who only dates tall people doesn't hate themselves.
bvelvet63 7 months ago
@bvelvet63 Bad analogy....but on to your argument...i am not appealing to the notion of a authentic black self obvi you didnt hear the part of the (1:35) where i discuss this...hands down i think black love is beautiful and to deny the possibility of that is damning for our psyches and the feeling of comfort that some of us need
acousticboi 6 months ago
@acousticboi I did pay close attention (as a former black debater, I tend to do that). My problem is with your judgment that people who do not open themselves up to dating black people is "daming to the group's psychology or feeling of comfort for the community." My argument is an individualist one--not a communtarian one that is adopted too damn often. I think it's important for each person--on their own terms--to decide whatever criteria they have for who they are intimately open to.
bvelvet63 6 months ago
@acousticboi YOU think black love is beautiful. I agree. But you aren't showing empathy with those people who have honest experiences of being ripped apart by black people in the intimate space. This is esp. true with black kids I've mentored who by their own accord are torn apart by 'sisters' who call them 'gay' and 'white boy' because they don't act like the stereotype. So I defend their right to protect themselves from trauma that you don't take as seriously in 3:20-3:21.
bvelvet63 6 months ago
@bvelvet63 I agree with this. I'm a black female that doesn't date black men. My family and I all suffered because of black men that have hurt us. We kept on getting hurt and after we found happiness with people who happen to be other races. So thank you for defending us.
DaPrincess007 5 months ago
I don't know how on-topic this is but maybe it will steer a dialogue. I'm a white guy and I while back I was flirting with a black girl at work. Genuinely flirting but she kept blowing me off. She said her family would never go for it and I said it's a shame. She asked if I was interested in her for being black. I said "no." I liked her and she happened to be black. In my mind, there was no difference. Just because I've never dated a black girl, doesn't imply I wouldn't. That's my experience.
arkrial 7 months ago
3:18 self reflection. #dope.
purexpression 8 months ago
@purexpression yep im human lol
acousticboi 8 months ago
I think every black and white person should read this here blog entry on the words black and white and how their connotations over time have caused such racial uproar. its not long but its very good.
hit me up for the link to the blog
STORMYB 8 months ago
And how about these black folks that can do nothing but criticize the black women that go natural. So I follow a ton of girls that have natural hair and its so sad how so many black women accuse them of being mixed, having good hair, or having some white in their family somewhere. These women are trying to educate and inspire more women to go natural and they can not do anything but complain their hair would never look like that and the person is mixed and is lying about it. Its so stupid!
STORMYB 8 months ago
@STORMYB i agree with you sooooo much i think it is much bigger than dating i think i am going to do more videos about desiring whiteness...but this was just something that happened to me recently and i had to comment on it
acousticboi 8 months ago
@acousticboi good cause this is a big topic.....it starts with the physical bc we tend to hate anything that reflects an african heritage. let me not say we cause thats definitely not me.
STORMYB 8 months ago
Oh you done got me started now..... :) This issue is so big because its just not dating either. Its my opinion that most of the blacks that could come and help the black community out in a big positive way, no longer desire to even be around us. They get their degrees and high powered jobs and move into their gated communities and forget we even exist. I do not understand how so many black people aspiring to be successful and that are successful believe the way 2 help us is 2 forget we exist.
STORMYB 8 months ago
Cool video...
tymurren5 8 months ago
i hate when black do that i dont understand
beanfresh09 8 months ago
@beanfresh09 me too but i try to understand but there have been no real good reason...as to why?
acousticboi 8 months ago
@acousticboi the ones i know always say black people always do this or this is ghetto i feel like most of them cant help they enviorment i dnt like how they put other races at such high standards they always refuse to attend blk schools n shoppin places as if they better than that i feel like anyone thats any race could make a fool out of themselves and could commit a crime
beanfresh09 8 months ago
I really understand your position. I have always heard that I was not like other Black people...oh you speak differently. And I am from central Georgia my high school was 98% black and I attended Clark Atlanta University and it is crazy what come out of other Black people's mouth. I feel it is generational self hate with in the black race. When something and/or someone mirror self and the person hates self there is a hate fueled by mainstream false culture,sexuality,standards,intelligence etc
MizerakKinchens 8 months ago