Relationships: They Start With YOU!

[opereightor]

Please post more relationship series! I know you are busy but I'm loving this.

[biancanonce]

You are such an inspiration!! Greetings from Croatia!!

[Girlforaction]

I came here first for hair, and now I am getting weight loss and therapy tips. Thank God this therapy is free cause I know if this therapy was paid- I would be broke.

[BEAUTIFULDREAMANGEL]

I know I am way past the time this video came out but I just want to touch base with you and let you know how wonderful of a woman I believe you are! I feel you inspire so many men in women in the world because you inspire me! I am going through some rough situations and I know alot of them were brought on by myself and some were beyond my control, but this video shed light on the root of my problem. Your strength is felt in my soul, thank you! Be Blessed

[ReformationOfBeauty]

@BeautifulBrwnBabyDol well being sure of self comes from knowing and understanding your creator.... then you can understand who you are where u are going want and looking for......

[jasminekh121]

you sound like a preacher

[beautifulmama86]

I Just found out about you recently & I have soo many questions. First I am 24 with 2 kids 2 and 5 and the dad(21yrs) is around when he feels like it. We've been together 7 yrs.(he is my first) & I dont understand how he can go without me & his babies soo long. I'm inlove with him & need him so bad, even though he is abusive in everyway and calls me the N word(he's mexican and white) beautiful green eyes. I am spanish black with low self esteem all my life & dnt know how to get it. pls help!

[Giagirl4]

Thank you so much. U r an inspiration.

[RainbowMonkey43]

i can't wait to see the next ones of this series.

[Krisy523]

Important words to live by......Relationships start with YOU.......great job

[RochelleHansonMusic]

Some verrry good points here. I do agree that we should know ourselves first. We should be everything we expect our partners to be. I think the best way to prepare for your future mate is to form good habits now, seeking God daily & allowing Him to make you into the person you should be :)

[TrialBlazer2k9]

I feel what you are saying to a certain extent. We SHOULD look to God for our self worth, purpose, and goals because without him we can have none of that. The worst thing we can do is look to ourselves and rely on ourselves for strength because we are humans of a sinful nature and we are flawed. The Lord is not. But I feel your overall message though. Thanks for keeping it real!

[shalishali91]

U are so smart!(:

[emilelentil]

*DEAD* @ "an idle mind is the Devil's workshop"

[TheBambieyes]

I agree w/u 110%, not callin u old but u sound jus lik my mom and my pastor. They always tell young women to focus on them first b4 starting a relationship. I think ppl in my age group (early 20s) place too much emphasis on having a relationship nd they base their self worth on having someone luv them. Its like they c being single as a curse....gud msg..u shuld continue this discussion, post more vids plz.........

[kikicherrie]

you are a bestfriend in my head. watching you is changing my life 4 the better 1 video at a time.

[NaturalMystic7]

This is TRUTH!! Men will fall in love with a woman who loves herself! There is nothing sexier (for a man or woman) than someone who knows themselves, trusts themselves, and does not need someone else to validate them! Looking forward to more videos in this series!

[JamesJ30t]

Awww she is cute.

[nikki2579]

I agree with you, most of her videos are inspiring, however this one is a little much for me.

[nikki2579]

a ramble session and a little too preachy for me. 

[moonlightkisu]

@nikki2579 : most of her videos are inspirational. Apparently you haven't seen her other videos.

[kiera181]

I like how you talk about valuing yourself because I do think it will be hard for someone else to value you or for you to believe the positive things people try to bring to your life if you don't realize your own value.

[boomboomgirl]

Good video!

[chanie06]

Preach on BBBD.....u are truly a smart woman and the advice you give is always worth my time, thanks for the inspiration !!!!!

[TheSecondWind22]

I love this series! Keep um' coming :)

[unicqueky]

You keep glancing to the right at yourself in the mirror ..why? :)

[vculover23]

Great video!!! We do sometimes look to other ppl to make us happy...when really all we need is God. And when God allows me to get married, my husband WILL be the head of OUR household. I will not take that from him. I will, like u said, be the neck and support him. That's how it should be and that's how it will be in my home. I can't believe ppl would suggest the woman is supposed to be the head...smh. May God have mercy on them because they know not what they do or say.

[kittybookitty]

oops. looks like 4 people missed the 'like' button

[musiconfire10]

I love it!! I have been doing this: finding out who I am!! This is so important and thank you for sharing!!

[adesania]

I understand your point BBBD because we can see the side effect of all these women leading single families with no positive male figure at there side. Especially the effect on males. People do not underestimate the effect of a positive father figure around a boy.

[sarahe247]

@briggsshari2 This is why this is a discussion. You are definitely entitled to your opinion. I don't use "Bible quotes" , I live the Word. There is an order to everything. If this doesn't work for you then so be it. I speak from my experience. Not every marriage is the same or handled the same. I do know what works for me. Marriage is a partnership. Enlightened people will understand this and will not be controlled or lacking anything.

[TheGoddessNetworks]

@briggsshari2 LOL!!!!!! I thought the same thing HAHAHAH

[mrsd6allnatural]

So many young people need to hear this. They don't see that courtship is not marriage it is more of an interview for what you need or are looking for. Courtships are not to have the benefits that only marriage has to offer. I am so glad you noted the connection through blood. Many may not know what this means. Thanks for the video. I believe it will bless many.

[Lovedby6]

Girl God bless you!!! I need this and so much more that you have to offer. God is using u right here on YouTube! Love ya!!!

[8Marshayla8]

Great breakdown of the family unit.

.

[thewritepassion]

The only person you meet in a relationship is yourself. A healthy relationship is a partnership of mutual respect.

Religion is big business. The bible is used to support genocide, racism, sexism, exploitation of the poor and a self-righteous hatred of all those who don't get with the "program". The poorest examples of relating that I have seen come from the church (and we will know them by their deeds).

[thewritepassion]

The only person you meet in a relationship is yourself. A healthy relationship is a partnership of mutual respect.

Religion is big business. The bible is used to support genocide, racism, sexism, exploitation of the poor and a self-righteous hatred of all those who don't get with "program". The poorest examples of relating that I have seen come from the church (and we will know then by their deeds).

[hihosilverlining2]

@thewritepassion - you are correct that the poorest examples of relating sometimes come from "the church". But the church is not a collection of perfect people, but a collection of people who have decided to follow God...well that's what a church is SUPPOSED to be. But truth is, there are many churches...but only one God and only one truth....it is not about following people's different interpretations of it, but about the truth itself. But's that's another discussion :-)

[mammalmoose]

@hihosilverlining2 Preach!

[hihosilverlining2]

beautiful words. I agree, we all need to bring something to the table.

But the focus on SELF is not really in line with the Bible. Rely on GOD FIRST, and let HIM direct your choices and your path!

God bless you in your endevours BBBD.

[karmenchardae]

@hihosilverlining2 Some people may not be religious, or depend on a different higher power :-)

[hihosilverlining2]

@karmenchardae - certainly. But as our sister BBBD stands as a Christian, I was pointing out the true Christian perspective.

Besides, if someone is a Christian, they believe in God and His Word which says all other "gods" are not really gods at all.

[caramelnaps25]

I love forward to hearing more with this series!

[caramelnaps25]

I totally agree Nina. I am older, but just really discovering who I AM!!!! The way I thought in my 20s and early 30s has definitely changed. I fully agree with the idea of finding something we like instead of focusing all of our time and energy on others. So many of my friends get a man, forsake all friends and goals, then when things go left field they are not able to bounce back! When we were in marriage counselinig with our minister he definitely talked about being a help mate!

[miacbeam]

Wonderful video! So right on point! I'm in this stage right now... I really needed to hear this.

[Brielle10]

This is GREAT.....

[chocolategoinnatural]

Awesomeness.... I need you to be in my ear everyday... I struggle with wanting someoe to complete me instead of compliment me... UGH girl you hit the nail on the head...

[Vanurse09]

Great words of wisdom girl. Be Blessed!!

[ade52286]

I can NOT agree with you more... especially when it comes to the structure and dynamic of the family as your views mirror what is illustrated in the Bible. I love this new series, keep your views based upon scripture. I can't wait to see more...

[nessawithsmiles]

mmmhmm this is really true.

[jesspraise35]

Oh my God this is so good!!! Some things you just talked about, me and some friends of mines have been talking about just lately. My prayer has been lately, "Lord help us as your children to put things in its rightful place." We at times put people and other things in the place where God should be. Somethings we go through is to show us what's in us. We must seek the Lord to teach us first how to love him, others and ourselves. This is a great topic!!!!!!

[naturalbornqueen]

Your look has grown so much in the past year inside and out. Great video sis.

[Sokekajal]

Beautiful message. I really needed this!

[ShwtyNameToya]

o my freakin goodness, i loved this video!

[MsCinnamonKiss]

I love this video, it is very informative and helpful. I just got out of a bad relationship and this is right on point.

[L2BBqip]

thank you. As simple as that advice seems, it's still something that I needed to hear and practice implementing into my own marriage.

*side note - I really like your whole look in this video.

[thenappylicious1]

@LifeChanger711 I agree that a man or woman will only do to u what you allow. But I was going a little deeper then my post my appear. I agree w the ancient teaching and feel as though if we lived by them w would be more united ppl. At the same time I also believe that these belief's do need some major modifications. Women no longer can realistically meet the demand of home life by themselves and they did in ancient days nor can a man meet the demands of being the sole provider as he once did.

[nubiansistah123]

this reminds me of Hill Harper's book "The Conversation".. really good book :) and its very important that we converse about relationships b/w men AND women.. GOOD POINTS GIRL!

[millyt86]

just a few minutes but why do i feel like that all i needed to hear!!!!!!!! i just got mah hype and excited for me ...thanks so much looking out for this series and the keeping the confident vids...thanks again for sharing

[ArtisticRemedy101]

wow , this was well addressed, I hear you!

[deeplynluv]

LUV the earrings!

[rurealiam]

Girl yes yes yes " I do believe a man is the head but I am the neck of the household"

Talking about how we do that is a serious discussion way past due!

[LifeChanger711]

Very well said. I was just at work and listened to several women of color express unrealistic veiws of relationships. The quite moment came when a strong blk man stepped in and kicked wisdom on a woman's role in a relationship as it relates to being a help mate. It was refreshing to hear. I left the environment thinking that they missed the understanding of a relationship. It's like they wanted a man only for what he could give them and the only thing they offered was SEX! Sad but true. :(

[Ndidi25]

I Strongly agree with the logic of the family dynamics, its not always realistic to soley depend on the man for finacial provision, scripturally in proverbs 31, it is the virtuous woman who was known to be resourcful. A wholesome message sister!

[thenappylicious1]

What you have stated is the ideal state of a relationship and follows the ancient beliefs of ancient khemet. Girl your educated and we here that. But I think that ancient khemet is just that...ancient. The dynamic of our world has changed so much. This may sound harsh but our men are no longer the leaders that they need to be. The majority of them don't know how to begin to lead a family either cause they never saw one growing up or the on some other shit. Same goes for our women.

[LifeChanger711]

@thenappylicious1 think u r correct in the general analysis of situation. We as black ppl have lost a great sense of who we are and the roles we held in ancient times. However, we r not requiring the other party involved in the relationship to step up there game and come correct. I think if we get our own understanding together then seek a mate we would not tolerate alot of the things. This would force boys to be men. But, if we continue to date, marry, and have babies from them then why Change?

[joynemonique]

I totally agree with everything you are saying. I can't wait for the next video on this topic. I'm guilty for relying on people to make me happy instead of myself. I realize a lot now and I am learning to love and be happy with myself first! Awesome topic and keep doing your thing sis! I wish you continous success....

[jjoywilliams]

Can't wait to see more in this series! BBD, maybe you touch on this point in the future... I was in a great place in my life and spirit, I was living alone, I was confident and happy. I met someone, I was not even thinking about dating. He really fronted like he was a good dude but he wasn't and I jumped in too fast. Get to know these men, watch how they behave in different settings before YOU DECIDE you are feeling him. Be careful who u let in ur life....it's YOUR life.

[brnize1969]

preach nina...preach...i need to hear this series.

[rockt378]

well said, i am looking forward to it all

[TheGoddessNetworks]

This is why Black Relationship dont work. You all still waiting a man to be the head when he was NEVER built to be. Women are rebelling about that because it is not NATURE. She is suppose to LEAD HERSELF. He is suppose to LEAD HIMSELF. All willing, able bodies are to be the Leader of their OWN LIVES.

[TheGoddessNetworks]

@tycw1932 ANY GOD that clones a women from a man, does not know basic Genetics or Anatomy, therefore is NOT qualified to be a God.

MEN COME ROM WOMEN. SHE IS THE HEAD OF HOUSE. Always has been.

[LifeChanger711]

@TheGoddessNetworks Why do u think a man was not built to lead? If u think we r all rulers of our own lives, then what happens when we agree to be in a relationship with another? Should we not care about their lives and how our lives affect them? I don't understand ur reasoning. The word is "compromise" and we have to do it in all relationships (friends, co-workers, or intimate). Compromise creates harmony if done right.

[TheGoddessNetworks]

@LifeChanger711 Nature proves he is NOT build to lead, by NATURE he comes here being PROVIDED FOR. he is the SON of the mother. SHE IS THE LEADER. Always has been

[adesania]

@TheGoddessNetworks Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother....

So yes he has grown to the point he has become a man. That's when he has to leave his dear mother to be the man in his own household.

[TheGoddessNetworks]

@adesania SEE YALL DONT READ IT ALL! He leaves and CLEAVES TO HIS WIFE!! He MOVES IN WITH HER, HE IS TO TAKE HER LAST NAME. You all dont see what is in your face. He becomes apart of HER. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Ancient Cultures were all MATRIARCHAL. The patriarchal bible leaves many clues to this.

[adesania]

@TheGoddessNetworks O yes, I read it all because the 2 shall be one and that's what they are suppose to be. Don't come to me with ancient cultures because it's because of that matriarchal system the slavery was so devastating for our ancestors the africans(I am black from South America). The whites tried to do that to the asians but were not that succesfull as with the blacks because of the system you choose to keep in tact while we all can see how it has ruined our communities.

[TheGoddessNetworks]

@1. The two become ONE, when he CLEAVES TO A WOMEN. Again HE IS TO TAKE HER LAST NAME. All Kings were only Kings because A QUEEN Crowned HIM. Other than that, HE COULD NOT RULE.

2. Matriarchy DID NOT do that, tell the damn truth. Matriarchy is the most documented TIME OF PEACE ON EARTH. The Punk Black Men, Arabs, and Whites took DOWN THE MOTHER TEMPLES. You can thank your Made up Male God and Supreme Male Aggression for that. Slavery is a PATRIARCHAL concept. WOMEN were the 1st slaves of MEN

[adesania]

@TheGoddessNetworks So the exploitation was since back then when they only got with your queens to be crowned king and eliminate her after that. No wonder others could come in and ruin the system you so much adore. With your thinking I am not surprised that so few black men rule companies and their household correctly today because you only want to subdue a man who is created to rule. Both male and female are important for a good balance

[TheGoddessNetworks]

@adesania FYI, its NOT about BLACK MEN. Never was. he is the SON, to the MAMA HAS TO CROWN HIM. SHE IS FIRST. that is BALANCE. when people KNOW THEIR PLACE, POSITION AND PLAY IT.

[NaturalSunshyne23]

@TheGoddessNetworks ? What? Man if that was the case then what do we need God for....come one now....

[ccino45]

I can agree with you but im already married ...im 24... I've been with this man since I was 18. I have nothing of my own and I have looked to him for happiness for years and Im just to the point where I know I shouldnt have... But I am trying to do things for myself now and be happy on my own. I'm glad you are doing these videos

[naturalgirl32]

Very nicely said, can't for future vids on this topic. Much Love BBBD!

[sarah1484]

Girl, you are preaching!

[MyAfroShow]

Very good video.

What's that you're listening to in the background?

[mahagony]

There definitely can't be two heads of the household. In that case one will always be fighting to be the Head! I feel like couples need to communicate what their role will be in the relationship. I know their are a lot of people of today who do not go by the order of the bible. So for them they need to establish what role they are will ing to accept in the relationship. If everyone is in agreeance to their role then it makes for a better relationship IMO.

[Penelope416]

She preachin! Uh, hello!!! Undiscovered motivational speaker over here!

:-)

Lovely video and lovely truth.

[JamCanGurl]

Men aren't always the providers. There are stay at home dads out there. I agree you have to love yourself first before you can truly be loved by someone.

[LifeChanger711]

@JamCanGurl True and they r providing a loving example of a father and caregiver to their children. This doesn't minimize them in any way to me. I applaud them for doing what is agreeable in their relationship.

[michtenn16]

true true

[Dark0Malkavian]

When it comes to the whole believing in yourself, that's not just for romance relationships but friendships as well. But you forget one thing, we're all human. We need something from the outside as well just to keep going. From the moment we're born we still need someone else or else we're nothing but a bunch of hermits.

[TONIAG03]

I'M SO HAPPY YOUR ARE INTRODUCING "RELATIONSHIP" TO YOUR PAGE THIS IS MUCH NEEDED. I AGREE 100% WITH WHAT YOUR SAYING. YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM ARE ALWAYS INSPIRING VERY DIRECT AND ON POINT. THANKYOU!

[juina85]

i needed to hear it

[sarahe247]

I agree with you that you must not forget who you are in a relationship. I agree that the man should be the head of the household. There is an order to everything. The woman can be the neck turning the head in whatever direction necessary. If the man is secure in who he is he will understand what to do in that headship/leadership role to where it isn't abusive. I don't have much dating experience because I got married very young. Dating is a little different. Live remain seperate until marriage.

[shannonsurreal]

@sarahe247 i agree you about remain seprate till marriage.so true words of wisdom

[caramelnaps25]

@sarahe247 I totally agree with you that if the man is secure in who he is he will do what he needs to do.

[XxFrancineJulietxX]

I dont agee with the man being the head, I believe the head is whom ever takes the place of the head. But other than that I agree with you.

[babyshuf2]

@XxFrancineJulietxX: I kind of agree with you on that. It really depends on the two individuals involved in the relationship and how the function together as couple.  For example my aunts motto is "whoever has (earns) the most bread is the head"...lol..and they have been married for about 30 years. So I guess it depends. God Bless!

[queenjae14]

This will be good and right onetime for me.

[abennett79]

Thank you...I love listening to you...you inspire me to me the best me

[theocraticlady]

I like the fact that you value clean speech which is a very rare commodity today, keep up the good work!

[allure1222]

I absolutely LOVE this! Another point I must say is the fact that a lot of people do not know their self worth...they sometimes want a relationship so bad that they would be willing to settle for someone who they know will ultimately be the wrong person for them rather than being single until the right one comes along. There isn't anything wrong with having standards or knowing what you want from a companion. If you want that person to respect you you have to show them that you respect yourself.

[shanzie81]

@allure1222 I completely agree with you. Good point.

[shanzie81]

Needed this. Thank you.

[danie142009]

i dont understand the whole man head of the houselhold thing...why cant it be a partnership....with it being completely equal. i think thats how u keep everyone happy.

[BuenaventuraAvenue]

@danie142009 Me neither. I want a companion who's a lover and a friend, not an authority figure. Partnership is the perfect word for it.

[queenahsilat]

@danie142009 Lol me and my friend argue endlessly about this b/c she always preaches submission by a woman in a relationship is the way to make it work b/c its in the bible

[caramelnaps25]

@danie142009 I think she may have taken this from a religious aspect. The bible teaches that the man he considered the head of the household. Not in the sense of him running anyone, but letting him feel as if he is the leader, the protector, etc. I have found that men must be encouraged and must feel that they are needed in order be their best. Though ALL men do not fit in this category, this is just what I have discovered based on research and real life experiences.

[Kinkycurlycoil]

Loved it!!

[jusbcuz1]

Say That!!! Feeling this...you look gorgeous btw. Thumbs up!

[LunaCelestial1]

This is something I've finally started to realize a while ago. It's important to own and appreciate who you are as a person before you can confidently share who you are with others. I'm building my confidence muscle everyday by making and sticking to my goals and making myself proud! Thanks for this message BeautifulBrwnBabyDol.

[mpenny226]

looking cute BBBD! I like that yellow on you. Good vid. Good advice.

[gladeemarie]

Good talk BBBD. Thank you for sharing.

[YEWANDEeeeeee]

u re blessed! such an inspiring message

[mzyorkie]

GOOD JOB AS USUAL.....LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING MORE CLIPS FROM YOU!!!! GOD BLESS YOU SISTA!!!!!