Tentacolino - 7/10

[lalalalucius]

"What are you writing? ...Have you been drinking?"

My sentiments exactly, Baron von One-Eye.

[MAnnaconduit1]

who would ever guess the one foot unarmed rats would ever lose to the 6-7 foot mere men with laser weapons, attack subs, war chariots and a giant fucking octopus. and lets see oh my god the army of atlantis is actually real normal people,not the fish guys we keep seeing, they've got guns and cannons and are riding underwater dinosaurs that seem to run not swim, and we have a transvestite doll freak, seriously the makers of this movie should be crowned the princes of powder for snorting so much

[MAnnaconduit1]

i love this they need every single person in Atlantis to fight one foot rats, and yes the baron has trouble believing that there are mere men and yet he is in league with a talking shark, and despite his disbelief he is actually sending his own subs which cost lots of money no doubt, and oh yes the mere men have laser guns under water, and a dog who has no trigger finger is firing one, and how could the rats ever beat them they have subs and laser weapons the rats are unarmed and they LOSE!

[Hollywoodu360]

Believe it or not, Tentacles saved my life in a dream. He was as big as the Statue of Liberty. True Story

[Hollywoodu360]

Bueliev

[Kristanni20X6]

4:01 Is that shark getting raped?

[cujoedaman]

8:03 why, I didn't know you felt that way about your boss...

[Hollywoodu360]

The only redeeming factor is if Optimus Prime came and killed everyone like in DOTM :D

[cartmann94]

From the country that brought you Mussolinni and those Jersey Shore bastards, out came this SHITFUCK Of evil. 

[Fighterfreak247]

Oh boy!!! So, the evil whaler, who somehow happens to be the boss of a gang of sharks(then RATS!!??!! WTF), is now paranoid that the leader of the sharks, Razor Teeth, is(dare I say it), MAKING FUN OF HIM!!???!!!!! So, given that the whaler has a mustache, coupled with paranoia, which Soviet leader does he sound like?

[oars44]

just when you think it's as weird as it can get, it just keeps getting weirder!

[GTBurns48215]

When is the nostalgia critic going to get to this one.

[MrBuch169169]

Also - If they have laser pistols, why do they even need artillery!!!!!!!

[MrBuch169169]

When the 'Scottish' girl started talking, I think I blacked out.

[cartmann94]

@MrBuch169169 WTF are these movie producers into? That's one thing I hope NEVER to find out

[Basie369]

my brain huts

[GTBurns48215]

If they took titanic, abyss, avatar and that crappy disney Atlantis movie and threw them in a blender this is pretty much what i Expect would come out.

[Pretztailfan95]

@GTBurns48215 Hey! Atlantis was a good movie. At least their characters are more memorable than this mess.

[Boogung]

WHAT THE #%&@ AM I WATCHING???!!! O_o

[Boogung]

A DOG WITH OPPOSABLE THUMBS?!!! D8

[dottiedots221]

So, there are rats trying to take over the world, and a dog with a laser gun. oh my gosh o__o DOUG, REVIEW THIS NOW!!!!!

[Setzer2500]

Why didn't they just replace the flask immediately so a fake one was on display?

[Pretztailfan95]

@Setzer2500 Because replacing the flask immediately is too logical for this movie.

[AlvinYTP]

Rats bent on world domination.

I think Pinky and the Brain are gonna sue somebody.

[SportsKid42]

So...whos the bad guy?

[BBPatterson12]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm absolutely loving this movie. The musical numbers are awful, but everything else is just so absurd and fantastical I can't help but enjoy myself. I mean, for pete's sake, the leading general of the Atlantean army is a mullet-wearing Captain Planet riding a chariot underwater! The dog is firing at gangster sharks with a flintlock laser pistol!

[JoeCoolFreeman]

So they want to take over the world

M Bison OF COURSE!

[TheBatmanSmells]

Aaaaargh wtf is up with that Scottish dude in drag! 0_0

[Christhefireshark]

When he yelled "attack!" I found my mp3 of Ride of the Valkyries and played it alongside this.

[teletubbykiller54]

It's...a *ride of the Valkyries begins playing* dog with a laser gun!!! The world is now complete

[digitalconservative]

8:09 dry humping under water

[aquapendulum]

1:39 Gay voice 1:41 Fail 2:25 He touched her ass 2:58 That looks... disturbingly sick 3:05 All that Elixir water is escaping the flash and blend in with sea water. And nobody seems to mind 3:29 "I know that flask has yellow grips and yellow bottom but why am I not hating it? Durr..." 4:53 And we also got water-proof paper technology! Wait, what? 4:55 Re-used footage 6:26 I'm a motherfucking laser shooting dog, bitch! 7:42 Taste our dildo guns, motherfuckers! 8:56 Pedophile's voice

[calvix111]

oh god i hate italians now, i used to love italian movies and now that my mind has been mutilated and violently raped by this shit i hate my life and i hate italians...i hate all of them, i just cant think why would someone do such a terrible piece of shit, i hate italians so much now...well last godbye im killing myself now...

[Zetton199198]

4:35

OF COURSE!!!

[ZillaRocks]

"Have you been drinking by any chance?"

He was asking the screenwriter.

[Vgplaya89]

I think this is what PCP feels like

[lovemeordie83]

2:42 GO AWAY TENTACLES NO ONE INVITED YOU

2: 58 STOP MOLESTING THE DOG TENTACLES GOD YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT

6:27 STOP TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO TENTACLES YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING

7:29 SHUT UP TENTACLES I SAID HE CAN'T FOCUS WITH YOU TALKING There. All the Tentacles disses you'll EVER need. :) Well, for THIS part, anyway.

[gmjjack]

6:30 that pretty much explains the whole idiocracy of this movie

[MegaKossak]

6.30 Damn! I thaught i would never see something like that!

A dog in a chariot breathing inside wather shooting lasers at rats and sharks! :P

[Jetblast01]

"Have you been drinking?"

No...it's been MUCH more than that to make a film like this...

[gmjjack]

@Jetblast01 Probably heroine

[Gamepopper101]

It's not a good sign when the main audience what to side with a group of the largest one-dimension villains in history.

[vdentjr]

2:36 "ERRRR??!!"

seriously why the fuck did he do that?

[kitkatcutie520]

AND NOT TO HIT ANYONE?!?! Then what's the point of the laser? >.<

[kitkatcutie520]

1:39 stohhp!

[ImitationJesus]

"give the order to send help to the rats and the sharks in the battle against the mermen and mermaids." somebody actually WROTE that. someone actually SPOKE that.

[Neverhoodian]

8:49 - 9:50

My Scottish ancestors are crying for bloody vengeance after witnessing that...THING.

[megacraft]

mermen shooting lasers , submarines, a giant octopuss, a dog also shooting lasers, an army of toys with cannons against a bunch of rats and fish... ok, are the rats the bad guys?

[Kitsunefan9]

The king doesn't know who his own fucking commanders are

[tgh1987]

@4:55 The message begins "To the right honorable baron," and the squid-thing types "K" as the first letter. Yeah...

[ElderGodBrandon]

that is the same ass from the other movie that maltravers or whatever his name was adn his little snivelying servant

[zybermen]

Scottish transvestite doll soldiers, dogs with laser guns riding shell chariots, and a ginger Phil Ken Sebben.

Kansas is a long ways off, but this is too weird even for Oz. O_o

[Shadowwand]

If the Throne room is full of water... then why do they even have the magic glass walls in the ocean anyways? Why not just take out the windows?

[16ktsgamma]

A dog with a Laser gun. This movie switched to bad to ok all of a sudden.

[Videot01]

0:12 What was that? Did the camera guy just drop the camera for like five seconds? 1:41 Do it again! It might work if you do it harder! 2:27 Robert Downey Jr.: What do you mean, 'you people?' 2:59 Ho hay. 5:16 Oh so the titanic is still in this movie. 5:53 What treasure? 6:25 O.k. that's kind of cool. But only because of how stupid it is. 8:40 Remember in Bedknobs and Broomsticks how an inanimate army was used in the most awesome way. Yeah, this inanimate army... isn't.

[Kolbatsu]

you have a dog shooting a laser gun while riding a chariot and somehow I'm bored.

To quote the Spoony One "They have made the impossible boring!"

[ephemerealfox]

6:24 - 6:30 If someone makes a gif of this I swear i will tear my teeth out and give them the most beautiful necklace they've ever seen!

[Bobzeaux]

His Majesty gave the order to be careful not to hit anyone.... which is why he decided to give a laser gun to a dog who has a problem with being in water. We iz smart! ^_^

"It's awful! I can't bear it!"

I never in my life would think that I would ever agree with anything that a gender-confused Scottish soldier doll would say, but there you have it. O_o

[teletubbykiller23]

if a dog can learn to use a flintlock ray gun thingy then hell why cant i teach my german shepherd to hold and fire a desert eagle .50 AE or a smith&wesson 500?

[CalicoVall]

@teletubbykiller23 Because that only works with ferrets. ^_^

[GrowTheTruth]

That transvestite doll scares the living shit out of me. WTF is that thing?!!

[Phantom0731]

ok it's weird because it's suppose to be between 1912-1915 right? Why does the Titanic look like when the first footage was shot in 1986? 0:58

[lollypop123452]

" I'll turn him into rat food and lots of it"!

[lollypop123452]

Toy fish should be dismantled and buried in lava!

[CartoonAddict2]

"What are you rambling on about? Mermen, mermaids, rats in Atlantis? ....Have you been drinking by any chance?"

This movie in a nutshell.

[Pooky1991]

Do we ever get to the kings face? Oh man...why isn't this movie ending!

[snakes3425]

So the Emperor didn't even think that stealing the flask was too easy, or that the exiler might be fake, or that there might be spies among his followers???? Worst rebel leader ever

[moltentigerclaw]

'What have I done to deserve this?'

How about pissing on the poor guy's shoe in the first movie, you dumbass dog?

[snakes3425]

Sheesh Baron there's a World War going on around you and you didn't even think that one of the major waring powers (with warships, troops, tanks, artillery, and submarines mind you) might be interested in an Elixer of Immortallity or access to Atlantis?

[snakes3425]

So we go from ripping off Titanic, to ripping off Atlantis: The Lost Empire, to ripping off Star Wars

[artman40]

6:31 Ok! Dog and his lasergun in a cartoon vaguely about Titanic! What the fuck?

[gundamfan527]

3:23- Why do they want to conquer the world!? I thought they just wanted to escape Atlantis!!!

[ZafiroRiverSpirit]

Whaaaaat? A guy in the middle of the ocean answering the message of an evil shark... and a laser gun fight with a dog on a chariot and some merpeople against rats and sharks... and a short Scottish tranny... and a miniature red dolphin who sounds like she's on a helium diet.... This is a huge mindfuck, plain and simple.

[bluephoenix731]

5:28-5:36 Why didn't some say that exact same thing when they read the script for this movie?

[ZeldaQueen64]

So wait, that guy is perfectly fine with the fact that he's doing business with a group of gangster sharks to get the Elixir of Life, but is skeptical that they are being fought against by merpeople from Atlantis?

[DocSane]

@ZeldaQueen64 Does he even know about the plot to get the elixir? It seems like he's just responding to a call for help from his shark compatriots. But you're right, Maltravers (or whatever his name is now) seems strangely dubious even though he's involved in supernatural crap all the time.

[ZeldaQueen64]

@DocSane I have no idea what he knows. I honestly have no idea why he's even out on a ship in the middle of the ocean.

Responding to a call for help from his shark compatriots. Only in a Titanic movie...

[DocSane]

@DocSane I know. His inclusion in this movie is so pointless and arbitrary, like they thought "Well, he was the villain in the first movie, so he needs to be villainous here as well." And doesn't it almost seem like he's working for the sharks now? I think it's because he only does anything in response to their call for help.

[teenrex7]

JUst be glad they didn't rip off the transvestite from rocky horror picture show

[TitanicExpert]

This movie has become screwed!

[GreenBlossom45]

some killed me and at 0:20 mario O.o

[TruKriegsaffeNo9]

...they gave a dog a directed-energy flintlock pistol?

...but... dogs don't have thumbs... or trigger fingers.

[DocSane]

@TruKriegsaffeNo9 All of which makes that scene one of the greatest things ever animated.

[gloverboy21]

Dogs have a dew-claw, so that counts for a thumb.

[TheAngelmisa]

I....HATE That stupid toy fish.....

[tscastro114]

First there was a Rapping Dog, now we got a Dog who knows how to shoot things with a laser gun.

[Metabadd]

@tscastro114 Don't forget the rapping shark.

[HeraLedro]

@tscastro114 It's awesome, BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE IN SUCH A SHIT MOVIE Q.Q

[ZeroGal5]

shoot me! x_____x

[Pooky1991]

The dog...has...a gun...wtf.

[chadmanfraney]

@ZeroGal5 You read my mind.



[TheAngelmisa]

I want this movie to die!