Pick-up lines you shouldn't use - How Not To Live Your Life - BBC Three

[MrEMinor]

this is the first ive heard of it being axed, really disappointed

[20cFilmWannabe]

cant believe they cancelled this, yet they still show "lee nelson's well good show"

BBC3 sort yourself out.

[JAyala9703]

I like to use "Gimme your number before I don't want it anymore." I'm getting used to being lonely.

[bevylawd]

This show has been axed

[joker08154711]

what`s STD ?

[YoyoDS5]

@joker08154711 sexually transmitted disease a.k.a STI

[OBJ2K9]

Want to go halves on a bastard? L O FUCKING L

[B2359]

okay, they are both very very hot

[TopFlavouredQuark]

The BBC needs to produce more of this.

[RaneemSAH]

Why are the top comments repeating the same thing?

[Avatar230594]

I gotta remember the going halves one

[Phoenix1664]

Finally a comedy on TV worth stopping in for! =)

[ILLKILLYOUI]

- "Do you want to come back to my place?"

- "Which one of us are you talking to?"

- "The one that says yes...?"

Haha! xD I love this programme, It's awesome! <3

[Pianoblacks]

@ILLKILLYOUI that's my favourite, from a person that says I LL KILL YOU

[KoBred1]

Are you a chicken farmer?

cause you just raised my cock... ^_^

i use this on a daily basis

[JaveDMode]

Well that was just incredibly lame.

[fbvrc]

I like how the highest rated coments are the same LOOOOL xD

[swatus]

brunette seems lost, and blonde seems dumb as usual !

[AgApE010]

What they didn't show you is that at the end he got both girls :)

[LeonardoTorino]

the third series ends with the 7 episode?and it will be a 4 series? sorry for my bed english, answer me please

[lorrypants]

Ha, the one that says yes?

[EmilioLTD]

lmfaoo this is jokes

[suwymoon09]

fancy goin halfs on a bastard? fuckin quality patter

[olant]

Which episode is this from?

[gingerds]

@olant I think it's The Break Up

[YaMumYaNanYaGran]

Get your coat...I've got a knife.

[Brucy6666]

reminds me of Will from the inbetweeners :P

and m8.... why did you put this vid up? your giving away my best 1 liners!!!!! :P

[greg4001]

real talk enouph said slicee you like a licenced ninja

[whoo689]

The blonde woman is HOT, esp. her accent. 

[whoo689]

The woman on the left kind of looks like a female version of Michael Jackson. eerie

[whoo689]

I love how the woman on the left is totally calm and barely reacts throughout the 5 one-liners.

[MrMaverick0204]

ive found though that girls dont like it if you go up to them and say, i like your shoes wna fuck, NEVER do that. its only wokd for me 1

[papa1690]

Funniest programme in ages

[papa1690]

Funniest programme in ages

[BodaciousWickerman]

D'you wanna come back to my place?

Er, which one of us are you talking to?

The one that says yes?

[Steve7508]

The most popular Japanese chat-up line is: this time next year, let's be laughing together. No joke. Worth a try...

[D3M0N303]

"Quote from the video everyone just watched"

LOL

[kaustikos1981]

@D3M0N303 lol man! funniest thing I saw today! :D thanks!

[CharlesKing104]

A bit boring. Why not add in this pick up line: Do you love sex...? I can give you.

[aknipe106]

Do you wanna go back to my place?

Which one are you talking to? The one that says yes? lol

[Eradicus]

He's not funny

[MrSomeonenotspecial]

@Eradicus FUCK YOU! YOUR MOM'S HOLE IS NOT FUNNY

[stanzomanyy]

booooo

[KyaboreTV]

one of the best comedy shows I have ever watched..

[MrSomeonenotspecial]

@KyaboreTV agreed!! much better than any of the really comercial known ones, coz this one actualy teaches you something, each episode ;) I love it

[dipton95]

the one that says yes? LOL

[datingwomensex]

You made a lot of good points here

[frtg233]

HAHAHAAA the last ones brilliant!!

[EleRocks]

These are actually brilliant if you just deliver them in a certain sarcastic way to a woman that understands humour.

[903mosher]

@EleRocks girls dont have that sense of humor

[TheDutchways]

do you like getting one LOL

[BMXBOBO]

anybody fancy going halves on a bastard?

[ara611]

@BMXBOBO what does "going halves on a bastard" mean? is that a British thing i'm not getting? (sorry, American)

[BMXBOBO]

@ara611 Two unmarried people having sex which in the outcome produces a child.

Hey there sexy wanna go halves on a bastard?

[ara611]

@BMXBOBO We already have ;) I'll be expecting your child support check this month :P

[BMXBOBO]

@ara611 LOL ;-) will you accept pay pal :)

[whoo689]

@BMXBOBO Oh... That doesn't sound very appealing. I sure as hell don't want kids!

I thought it meant, "You fancy having a 3way?" or "You want to have sex with me, along with your friend (not sex with her, though)?"

[Vietttt]

Do you have any STDs..?

No!

Do you mind getting one..?

LOL

[thauller]

Why is it that blonde girls with British accents are so cute?

[spacerocks1234]

She's got a british accent because its a british program. Thats why its funny

[stevenjw2006]

yes even though im british it is alot better than the california stereotypical blond accent u get in america

[644fguhhu]

fancys goin on halfs on a bastard ?

lmao

[bishop199115]

'where/how do i get an application form?'

^^

[mossbournegoodie]

Dude.. Lol, Your Probably 11 years old LOL

[andyandloulittlebrit]

the blonde girl is so cute yum :)

[MUFCisALLiNeed]

you mind going halves on a bastard !!!!! LMAO !!!!!!!

[LilAznNicKk]

last one was the best!

[MrSnozberry]

"Do you mind getting one"...Haha..Genius!!

[gametenor]

Ha!

[TakeAdvantage1990]

the blondes face when he says "yours the slutyest looking girls here"

[basgras]

Who fancies a what??

[TwinBr0wn]

screw

[gjharley728]

frickin funny as hell

[reesj02]

i love how not to live your live its f*cking brilliant

[iupstud]

Do you have STD...NO! ..good.... do you mind getting one...ahahahahhahahhahahhahaha­hahhahaha!

[Chris180Z]

I've used u wana come back to my place in times of drunkness :P

[dramaticafantastica]

do you mind going halfs on a bastard?

hahahahaah! if someone said that to me i'd like fall in luv wiv them.

[jystyle]

nice! my new pick up lines are ready for the weekend

[LeonardoSasuke]

Do you have any STD's?

No!

Do you mind getting one?

[svtcobra271]

Girl: "Which one are you talking to?"

Guy: "The one that says yes?"

[bowdenthompson]

D'ya fancy goin' halves on a bastard? ...pure Awesome.

[pettythievery]

do you mind gettin one...lol!

[bobbo2700]

Hasn't everyone use them lines when pissed up??

Shit thats fun

[mastergiovanni321]

hahahaha sounds like something i said before

[ELITEMESSIAH]

Don is da man! ha ha this is a great show and I laugh just as hard each time I watch it!

[TheHairofTime]

do either of you have STD's?

Do you mind getting one?!

[knocker83]

shit

[mysticspear]

love the way she say's NO init

[truthspeaks84]

Last one was the best

[jluis333]

This one I actually used once, I was hanging with a blonde and a brunette and said:

I'd really like to take home the redhead!

[ratherbighat]

i dont get it

[lygophile]

"look, you girls are normally well below my standarts, but i'm really drunk and horny right now, so does either one you want to get lucky?"

just made that one up.

[skipperannie]

i luv the last one lol!!! "do u have stds?" "no" "good, do u mind getting one" LMFAO

[romm95]

I thought they were funny, but am a bloke.

[formosana]

i'm gonna have to use some of these myself!! i'll let u know how much the reconstructive surgery costs after having my face smashed in with a mallet! cos that what women carry round with them nowadays right?

[badassgangstaa]

nah i wudnt say so. LMAO if sum guy sed dat 2 me id probz fink he wz jokin, nd like say yes lmao. spesh da last 1

[white7reaper]

Amazing. I didn't know physical retardation could affect typing. Your a living legend.

[dans1121]

haha that was the funniest shit ive seen all day

[hobbitthedog]

I like this one:

Want to do some Australian kissing? Its just like French kissing, but down under.

[decerzz]

i used tht one they lafed at me nd ran away

[tempac91]

Bahahahaha, :-D

[asdude302]

wht about r u a fan cause u can blow me any day

[houman6a6]

LOL "do u have stds?? do u mind getting one?"

classic.

[bboydjoe]

the one on the left is hot

[Claritadequiroz]

Thanks bboydjoe xxx

[thefuckincoolone]

im gonna use these

[emolosersunite]

lol classic

[moey123456789101112]

lmao do u mind gettin 1

[juansegonzalez]

what about you..... do you mind getting one?

[carmelon721]

oh my god hahha

[ilovejbmusic]

hahaha! "Do you have any STD's? Good. Do you mind getting one?"

[TheOffspringRock13]

lmao

x

[lukessummer]

No more I love you's

The language is leaving me

[Samw6789]

the std bit was hilarious lolol

[Zonkerrrs]

"I'm not only talking to you cause you're the sluttiest looking girls here"

HAHA

[lukessummer]

My favourite line was...

"I do not even bother watching comedy clips on Youtube any more, I just head directly to the comments section and, low and behold, all the best lines have been written down for me!..."

[reayadam]

hehehehe :D

[Big94D]

Sexually transmitted infection

[paulwolves2k7rs]

No its Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) same thing tho :D

[pickyheadfred]

Fancy goin halves on a bastard lol

[Shendude93]

Is this the last episode of how not to live ur life? I was lookin for the new one on BBC i player and it isn't up :( Aww, I don't want it to end.

[Bwaxxlo]

Do u have any STD's??

NOO

Do you getting one?

[Bwaxxlo]

Do you mind getting one??

[Lightsockie]

I don't :D

[lingerdead]

uh... btw, what does STD´s mean? lol

[Zonkerrrs]

sexually transmitted disease...

[meiyo8]

best how, watch it ppl this guy is a legend

[SophisticatedMike]

well memos415 it's not lame...at all, it's you. How Not To Live Your Life is a very funny programme which should not be disrespected. Especially not by an american. I havent got anything against americans, but...you just dont get english humour.

[SophisticatedMike]

them women are really lovely

[vincentchps3]

do you have any STD? err no! good... you don't mind getting one?

[RushProductions08]

i love this programme lol

[lukessummer]

I do not even bother watching comedy clips on Youtube any more, I just head directly to the comments section and, low and behold, all the best lines have been written down for me!...

[ttlypwnd]

"I'm not just talking to you because you're the sluttiest looking girls here."

You're welcome :D

[memos415]

lame

[collegeBoi15]

that's so wrong, but it's funny anyhow. i wonder if i can work one of these into my next blog post? :D

[joementum5]

"d'you mind going halves on a bastard?"

[NiKillAsGraal]

LOL @ STD's and the first pick up line is the best.

[DChappelle27]

"do ya have any std's?" -no.. "good, do ya mind gettin one?"

[EastendersUpdates]

Lol!

Some of these are funny, but some of them are damn right cheesy!