Miracle Whip - "Don't Be So Mayo" (2009 TV Ad)

[Mikrahail]

What.

[fastkomplett]

hipsters wouldn't eat meat, just sayin

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

Did you guys know Miracle Whip was invented during the Great Depression as an alternative for Mayo, because eggs were too expensive then to make real Mayo? I guess that's why it sucks - EVERYTHING during or about the Great Depression sucks... "Grapes of Wrath" sucks, being dirt poor sucks, having no house sucks, economic collapse sucks... and Miracle Whip sucks. What a perfect coincidence.

[Crazy56U]

Come on Kraft, just admit that Miracle Whip isn't that awesome as you claim it is, and rather it's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's poo, and we can leave.

[makemyownpath]

Hey Miracle Whip

FUCK YOU

[golbysama]

THIS AIN'T YO GRANDMA'S MAYONNAISE!

[Zegeebwah]

Man, when I bite into that Miracle whip sandwich while I fix my non-prescription glasses, trim my 'stache and wear my paper thin ironic T-shirt riding my fixie bike to the record store to pick up Mumford and Son's new vinyl and not look for a job, I know I'm an original.

[weareallanemic]

In other words, be a hipster!

[XPsychoBurgundyX]

I am now inspired to go beat the next hipster I see on the streets within an inch of their lives. I never thought a fucking mayonnaise commercial could spike my hatred of hipsters to such a high, but it has.

[Babypuncher90210]

I like Hipsters but I could never eat a whole one.

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

Miracle Whip is the worst condiment to exist, period. It's bland and uninspiring and just makes you wish you were eating actual mayo. Please, Kraft foods, PLEASE take this horse jizz off the market, it's a disgusting excuse for a sandwich topping.

[TheJimboWales]

miarcle whip f*cking suckxS!

[jacobpotter]

Honestly, Miracle Shit is more bland than Mayo. Mayo's just so much BETTER!

Ironically, the best Mayo is made by none other than Kraft themselves...

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@jacobpotter I'd disagree and say Hellman's makes the best mayo, but I'll take Kraft's in a pinch.

[Ninetails2000]

Is it ironic that the only person in this ad that I'd want to bang, let alone hang out with, is the "Mayo" guy? OF COURSE!

[anonymous4698]

Ugh, the hipsters can have this crap

[Crazy56U]

I buy this ad's claim... if it wasn't 95% bullcrap.

[guitarfan01]

I used to love Miracle Whip... and then I saw this commercial.

[shovethissite]

Miracle Whip changed my life. I was a balding, middle-aged obese man working a dead-end job. Since I gave up Mayo, I've de-aged 25 years, moved to LA, gotten a tan, lost weight and regrown my hair. Now I frolic daily in kiddy pools filled with marbles, and dance the night away with anorexic wannabe models!

[SirBroadsword]

This could we be a contender for most poorly rated video on YouTube that actually has a significant number of views (there are plenty of vids with 0 likes and 1 dislike, for example)...

[darthstew666]

If you get this excited over a sandwich condiment, then yes, you need to tone it the fuck down.

[mimisezlol]

They all look the same.

[lol4lyflol]

can you get this in england? because ive never seen it?

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@lol4lyflol You're lucky you've never seen and presumably never had it. It's supposed to be like Mayo but it just tastes overly sweet, as if someone put too much sugar into a vat of mayo.

[SlickNick1086]

I fail to see what's so cool or rebellious about mayonnaise.

[PutkisenSeta]

Fake mayo, for fake people.

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@SlickNick1086 Nothing. Kraft is just stupid.

[momoandmiz]

I put Miracle Whip on my sandwich and my mom kicked me out

[BEASLAND000]

you can be hipster guys, but you can only do that by buying from a multinational corporation that markets to the common wal-mart hillbillie by combining artifical flavors, hfcs, dairy, and eggs imported from whereeverthefuckistan into a non-recyclable plastic bin.

[LordZabujca]

I'm confused - who was supposed to be the unique one again? The identical douchebags or the one guy differing from everyone else?

Shit man, I'm way out of my depth.

[Sabohaque]

It's just watered down mayonaise.

[Freefalldreams]

If you're not going to eat the tacky, salty, oily real thing in the mini-squeeze-bottles that I loved when I was a kid...then eat vegan mayonnaise, it's better for you. Miracle Whip is like Cool Whip -- not as sinfully tasty as the real thing, but still way too bad for you to be worth eating.

[KaeoUnion]

Miracle Whip, if you fire whoever's idea this was I will buy your product

[JeremyBristol]

Makes me want to smash Miracle Whip jars against every building and through every window like molotov coctails. MIRACLE WHIP REVOLUTION!!!! FUCK THE ESTABLISHMENT!!! FREE CHE!!!! FUCK YOU!!!! WE WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN!!!!!

Then I remember they're all made of plastic now.

[Fusionfrenzy32]

I'm sorry, but this is just so stupid

[shmooglefloogle]

So... be yourself but only if that self is exactly like everyone else's self?

[ButtplugClock]

no seriously who thought this was a good idea.

I was 19 when this ad came out.

It made me NOT want to eat their product

[MissQuattrone]

Hipsters are lame and I don't even like Myonaise why would I like a susbstitue for it?

[JennStull]

its like mayo, but for hipsters.

[chibibeagle]

FUCK MIRACLE WHIP!!!

....

Cool Whip is the SHIT man.

In all seriousness this commercial makes me oh so very sad.

[grizznatty]

miracle whip is the nastyest thing in the world

[danthemango]

where do they get these people?

[eruption257]

@danthemango Somewhere in the barren deserts of Nevada, there is a warehouse. In this warehouse are thousands upon thousands of hipsters. Whenever any company wants to seem rebellious and cool and TOTALLY RADICAL, they grab a few from the Hipster Emporium.

And that's the story of how you were born.

[danthemango]

@eruption257 omg, how did you know?

[SheJanel]

683 mayo people cannot handle the awesome, radical taste of Miracle Whip.

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@SheJanel ... I really hope that was sarcasm, because Miracle Whip is *gross*.

[SheJanel]

@ThePhantomSafetyPin

It was.

That stuff's nasty.

[theyearofourlordig88]

ARCADE FIRE 2010-2011 WORLD TOUR SPONSORED BY MIRACLE WHIP

[LexWanna18]

Oh yeah. This makes me wanna go buy three friggin GALLONS of Miracle Whip. Mmmm.

[fastkomplett]

yeah, eating meat is pretty cool with miracle whip

[losttoreality]

I use Miracle Whip. But not because I want to be a hip or cool. I just like the taste.

Goddamn, do advertisers have it wrong.

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@losttoreality I use it in Deviled Eggs, because regular mayo would be too eggy for that dish, but that's the only time i really use it.

[BlakeJGreene]

The only thing this ad did was make everyone I know swear off Miracle Whip forever XD

Of course, half of us hated it anyway, because it tastes like crap.

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@BlakeJGreene Chalk up another one. I've hated it forever too, but when I saw this, I just went: ._. "NO."

And that is how I came to swear off this crap forever.

[funkadelik69]

i liked this video to be ironic

[ExcessiveSpareTime]

I'm staying on the mayo side of thefence, where people don't criticize my fashion sense, are willing to give my tastes in music a listen (or at least acknowledge my rights to one) AND won't completely ostracize me over my choice in mayonnaise.

Steven Colbert was right.

[CaptainAshSpearow]

"So, this maverick is expressing his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection?"

"Well, it sounded more defiant the way HE said it."

-Calvin and Hobbes.

[TwosComplement]

88 people are miracle whip.

[connorpadraig]

FUCK SOCIETY, I WANT MIRACLE WHIP.

[77Lupin1]

We are Miracle Whip and we are legion.

This sounds like a bad cult.

[nintfjr]

Mayo is better than Miracle Whip. Miracle whip tastes like crotch, and I'd rather eat a raw bell pepper than use Miracle Whip on my sandwiches.

[Xephrocrsith]

Dear Miracle whip,

This is ridiculously retarded. How the fuck does miracle whip define individualism? ITS FUCKING MAYONNAISE!!!

[SeeSarahGo]

AND WHY DOES MIRACLE WHIP HAVE THEIR OWN YOUTUBE CHANNEL?! You're ridiculous, MW.

[ExcessiveSpareTime]

@SeeSarahGo

The answer is simple:

They have a huge, throbbing ego that requires constant stroking.

[SeeSarahGo]

Like, it's mayonnaise…MAYONNAISE! Who associates social acceptance with a gross condiment?! I am still so flabbergasted. WHO THE…ugh I just can't comprehend.

[RaineSageRocks]

Thanks, Miracle Whip. It's nice of you to tell me that, if I don't eat your shitastic product, that I will never be accepted by my peers and will be rejected by everyone. :/

Seriously, this is just awful. What a horrible and outright ridiculous message to send to my age group. I sure do hope that Teens and Adults know better than to spend their money on this crap.

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

@RaineSageRocks Don't worry. Nobody in my age range (college kids) is buying it, either.

[lordshamus]

Will I be a charming sassy multi-ethnic hipster with a cool attitude if I consume this product that my grandmother used to use instead of Mayonnaise back in the seventies? Well, gosh, Kraft! Have all my money!

[azn1011]

what do you mean this commercial's not awesome?

[sauske772]

@azn1011 what do you mean that you're not a troper

(and i love you for it)

[Dstorm20xx]

How is a mayo wanna be "rebellious"

[Exarian]

@Dstorm20xx Because there is no way to rebel anymore, so rebellion becomes completely arbitrary. especially when said rebellion is for personal identity.

[Nintendon85]

Why is it that all the "Non-Comformist" characters in the commercial look exactly the same and move the same and generally blend in with each other?

[Briancmwilliams]

@Nintendon85 Being different isn't important FEELING different is all that matters XD

[Squiggy2010]

hipsters are too lazy to take the time to make a sandwich and will resort to the tried and true 'bologna on hand' snack.

[d3fil]

TVTropes Will Ruin Your Life

[burninmohawk]

@d3fil indeed

[TLWxx]

You should tone it down, because your mayo tastes like ass. It is way too sweet.

[quikgamer]

@TLWxx

Don't dare call this foul substance mayo, it's "salad dressing" but in reality it's toxic sludge.

[aurlis2012]

jesus fuck. whats with all the hate on this particular mayonaise commercial

[ExcessiveSpareTime]

@aurlis2012

Simple: It portrays that you'll be among the driving force that spearheads the rebellion of the current generation against the one that preceded it--but you have to conform to a certain brand of mayonnaise.

Whereas the folks who boogie down to Eats Tapes (and other acts none of these executives ever heard of) are complete and total sheep simply because their brand of mayonnaise is different from yours.

Clashing messages, anybody?

[driverx241]

420 buy mayo every day

[peperonyandchease]

Fuck these smug ads. We get it, people that use miracle whip are better than everyone else because they decide to put pus on their sandwiches.

[Exarian]

Excess ain't rebellion. You're drinking what they're selling. Your self-destruction doesn't hurt them. Your chaos won't convert them. They're so happy to rebuild it. You'll never really kill it. Yeah, excess ain't rebellion. You're drinking what they're selling. Excess ain't rebellion. You're drinking, You're drinking, You're drinking what they're selling.

[Exarian]

the most ironic thing about this is the fact that Kraft foods, the company that produces miracle whip, also makes several product lines of mayo, and owns several companies that primarily produce mayonnaise. bastards get money from the people who fall for this ad and the ones who don't.

[fiveguypeanuts]

i wonder if miracle whip knows they just dug in their own grave? did they think people would really like this commercial? seriously, your mayo..that makes nothing cool or rebellious..-.-

[juelzfan76]

Wow, this commercial is more unoriginal than one of souljah boy's rap videos.

[personcheese1234]

congrats you made more than 10,00 hipsters like mayonaise

[RatchetSly]

...What did I just watch?

[GothandJock]

BOY GAIZ MIRACLE WHIP SURE IS ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT DONT BE SO MAYO FIGHT THE POWER BROKENCYDE ROX

[Edgehead1132]

what part of this commercial is about condiments?

[jamietrhcp17]

Man dude, mayo's so fuckin lame. I asked mayo if it wanted to share a joint with me and it told me it wasn't into that kind of thing. What a loser.

[rayjay26]

This is just awful.

[TellKenzine]

I don't even LIKE mayo.

[verylazzyy]

I put miracle whip on my wonder bread...then i threw up all over my bed

[xxkadieexx]

I always thought that I was the only one that hated this commercial.

ITS

FUCKING

MAYONAISE

I DONT EVEN FUCKING GET IT.

[alextreme7191]

this commercial is so fucking horrible

[AlyFordIsTheBomb]

this is amazing :D:D:D:D

i love this commercial :D every time it comes on, im like woop woop!!! <3

[captainyakman]

Honestly, this ad makes me never want to buy miracle whip ever again.

Like 0:25... FAIL

[Shrike159]

TV tropes lurker here. nice ad, geniuses... "OMG ITS MAYAONAISE THATS SO RAD AND NON-CONFORMIST WOOO!"

[WereCar1010011010]

@ChaosBladewing

TV Tropes lurker present!

[WereCar1010011010]

Haha, I can't believe they were serious. It's friggin' mayonnaise, you can't find a more toned down condiment.

[khlova]

FUCKING HIPSTERS

[SlidingDust]

0:10

dat camera

[g0rteks]

I AM NOT MAYO! TAKE THAT GRAMPA!!

[g0rteks]

Wait, Miracle Whip is for brooklyn hipsters? Just sell the fucking product don't force it into a fucking scene. Don't try so hard next time. Fail.

[SevipersOnaPlane]

Just dropping in from TV Tropes

[bicostp]

So Miracle Whip is the Pabst Blue Ribbon or Clove cigarette of condiments?

[Canama139]

Hey guys, I ate some Miracle Whip! I'm so cool! I'm such a rebel!

[/sarcasm]

[Kikiyume]

Again, this is just a lighthearted attempt at expressing the idea to try something new and different. Many people will never try Miracle Whip because it isn't real mayonnaise. The "rebellion" theme just takes it to the extreme in a fun manner. By the way, it's better for you, too. Mayo fans are more fatass than Miracle Whip fans.

[sweetjuicybacon]

@Kikiyume 

Kikiyume is a cocksucker that works for kraft

[Kikiyume]

@sweetjuicybacon Dude... This is all fail. First of all, you're forgetting that this is a silly commercial that doesn't deserve this much attention. This is why people like Chris Crocker can strive. Secondly, I don't have a job, but I would gladly accept one.

[peperonyandchease]

@Kikiyume Nobody gets excited about mayonnaise or miracle whip to the point where they would call themselves "fans".

[Kikiyume]

@peperonyandchease Mayonnaise is only the third favorite condiment in USA, the designated country for the commercial. Of course there are fans of both. Also, why did you take the time to reply to a comment that was on page 4 at the time of me posting this one? You seem awfully obsessed for a person who has a lot of not so positive things to say about the commercial. Maybe because it's fun to troll this commercial?

[peperonyandchease]

@Kikiyume Just because you use something, it doesn't make you a fan. I doubt anyone has a room dedicated to just miracle whip memorabilia - I use quarters all the time, but I'd hardly call myself a quarter "fan". Also, I replied because your post sounded like you work for miracle whip or something and are trying to give the comments a positive spin

[Kikiyume]

@peperonyandchease Oh, this is a world of only profit and reputation? Because a person has something good to say, you accuse them of working for the creators of the product? What you said is an example of an extreme fan, and yes there are people who collect, say, Coca-Cola stuff, so there is bound to be a Miracle Whip collector out there. A fan in the condiment sense would put Miracle Whip on anything they think it would be good on. There are also coin and quarter collectors. Stop trolling.

[magmos]

@Kikiyume He's not trolling, you are reaching, and the reason why people collect Coca-Cola stuff is because Coca-Cola actually HAS stuff! It has all sorts of things! Stuffed cola bears, toy trucks, cans that change from season and year, drinking glasses, what the heck does Miracle Whip have in terms of product placement? The only things people could collect would be the fragging jars you put the stuff in!

[Kikiyume]

@magmos A more professional troll tactic is to claim you aren't trolling and use the victim's points against them as support to make yourself look better. People collect signs and other advertisement mediums. They could also collects containers, yes, like Coke bottles. You obviously aren't seeing the bigger picture, but got me to reply, which is the goal of a troll or trolls.

[kefkaROX]

0:21

Holy crap, it's the Amazing Atheist!

[pinkchair]

I'm just salivating at the hipster prospects for the jam vs. jelly "WE WILL NOT BACK DOWN" commercials. Take that gramps!

[ComatoseElf]

Mayonnaise will NEVER be hardcore. I don't care WHAT the commercial says, it's still mayonnaise. Tone it down, that's it. How the hell do you tone down fake mayonnaise? Fuck I hate that. GOD IT MAKES ME ANGRY!! Look at them trying to be like some kind of 'movement'. Some kind of really radical group. For god's sake it's just mayonnaise. I never have bought ANY Kraft product since seeing this crap last year. IT'S NOT COOL, IT'S MAYONNAISE FOR FUCK'S SAKE. IT'S JUST FUCKING MAYONNAISE. FUCK!!

[Zanite]

@ComatoseElf lynch, lynch the unbeliever!! '

[FinalRaider]

@ComatoseElf

HEY.

THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

See this fucking jar of mayonnaise? It's bland. It's boring. It's completely ordinary. When you eat it, you'll feel bloated and simply unsatisfied.

BUT WHEN YOU EAT A BURGER WITH MIRACLE WHIP, SHIT GETS INTENSE.

You'll feel STRONGER. You'll feel FULL. You'll be SATISFIED. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. EVERY TIME.

Screw being bland. Miracle Whip will CRYSTALLIZE YOUR BALLS AND TURN YOUR BLOOD INTO LIQUID FIRE.

....TWICE.

[ComatoseElf]

@FinalRaider WHOA THAT'S HARDCORE. But...

Hey, it's me Vince, with Miracle Whip and I'm here to tell you about this marvelous new mayonnaise replacement.

Stop having a boring mayonnaise, stop having a boring life.

With Miracle Whip, you can have an exciting life now!

[EmperorChupacabra]

@ComatoseElf You're gonna love my nuts.

[sauske772]

@FinalRaider FUCK YEAH!!

...your comment was exceptionally humorous

[OceanDream9]

@FinalRaider SHIT JUST GOT REAL

[bcw324]

I hope this was supposed to be stupid...otherwise lol

[starBme]

How long did it take your ad agency to make 18,000 fake facebook profiles to 'like' you??

[Seydaschu]

Hey, it's Vince, with Miracle Whip!

This mayonnaise is BORING! Stop having a boring mayo, stop having a boring life!

[folsomtiefighter]

what is miracle whip? Im going to create a product made out of unknown ingredients and call it Magic Loaf. "It Sparkles!"

[Eyeshield1625]

this has to be the lamest commercial of all time. "We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down."

[ThePickledTheif]

I loved this ad until this moment. Now I just noticed how bizarre it is. It's MAYONNAISE. Freud or not, it means nothing.

[FireJigglypuff2310]

because mayonnaise is the coolest thing ever

[etherealfrog112]

WE ARE OUR VERY OWN UNIQUE ONE OF A KIND FLAVOR THAT CANNOT BE SEEN ANYWHERE ELSE AND IS OURS, WE CHOSE IT BECAUSE IT IS UNIQUE.

[wilbertohernandez]

I also stopped buying Kraft products for authorizing this stupid commercial to air! I would like to know who what the idiot that conceived this idea looks like and how he managed to persuade the rest of the people who filmed this commercial including the actors to agree to such a stupid and idiotic thing such as this shit! But, ultimately, the one to blame are the idiots from Kraft for funding it and authorizing it to air! So, fuck you all.

[jakestep17]

Using mayo now to promote diversity? How fucking stupid.

[SpongiformSpongee]

You should really consider taking this ad down...it's an embarrassment.

[TackyRackyComixNEO]

Maybe it's just because I've been listening to a lot of Sinatra lately, but when "IN OTHER WORDS" popped up so did the tune of "Fly Me to the Moon".

[chives123456]

Yes, Mayonnaise being bland is why I don't like it. If only had a bolder taste it would make me want to vomit less. Also why would I - Ooo hey is that a pool? In all seriousness, even if I did like Mayo I WOULD BE PERFECTLY FINE WITH MAYO. Also, was that lady at 0:09 wearing a formal dress to a roof party? Is that cool now? Oh wait, no it's not because roof parties have never been cool.

[countingmoons]

Lol. What are these fucking marketing execs thinking with these ads anyway? Kraft's mayonnaise alternative = Rebellion?? Please.

[juicestain117]

hipsters gonna hate

[Simp44]

Whoever is responsible for these ads should be banned from advertising forever.

[esoxlee12]

Congratulations Kraft, this ad made the worst 10 commercials of 2009:

google: "BNET's 10 Worst Ads of 2009"

[Essencewing]

The person representing mayo is cooler.

[Aonghus117]

They are soooooooo cooool man lOL

[DaLadybugMan]

The man be tryin' to silence my mayo!

[RPGfiend]

Miracle Whip is so edgy now that youtube can't even load a commercial for it right now.IT'S THAT FUCKING EDGY!!!

[countingmoons]

@RPGfiend LOL

[Shockthemoonx3]

calm down people. miracle whip was showing portraying the fact that its different , not plain and bland like mayo . so ctfd.

[kidnex1]

its. fucking. mayonnaise.

[DrPepper42yes]

Is that cum on the lens?

[tylertac]

so. fucking. cool.

[qwertzy121212]

Miracle whip, for the last time, mayonaise is NOT rebellious!

[CrowsILike]

Why do you sound so bored? :(

[lelekb]

do you people think the demographic you're trying to reach is going to buy into this pathetic attempt at audience appeal?

YOU THINK PEOPLE WANT TO BE HIPSTER DOUCHES AND BASE THEIR SENSE OF SELF ON CONDIMENT CHOICES?

that is just insulting >_>

[ShittyUtopia]

fuckin hipsters...

[mikefictiti0us]

Contrary to your own apparent belief, what you are selling is not a lifestyle choice -- it's a fucking condiment. If anything, this commercial will ensure that I actively avoid your products in the future. Think about that before you guys make another commercial.

[TexasFury]

When mayo is outlawed, only outlaws will have mayo!

[kenziehxx]

god miracle whip knows exactly what im going through. sometimes when i bring mayonaisse to parties people make fun of me and tell me to go home. now when i bring my jar or miracle whip everyone wants to dance around me and make sandwhiches. its really fantastic.

[RPGfiend]

@kenziehxx The hipster ladies love it when you slap some Miracle Whip all over your johnson and spread it around inside their already funky thighs : D

[Skatemore1243]

Does anybody else find the narrators voice ironically "boring" and "bland"?

[RachelSummers777]

This reminds me of David Cross' bit on advertisers trying to "hip" up the product for the young demographic..."this ain't your daddy's eggs!"

[alexh845]

Okay I'm 21, male, and this commercial is geared towards me and my kind. This commercial sucks. Want to know why? The announcer. I'm sure Miracle Whip's marketing team thought it would be a good idea to go with the "i don't care so that makes me cool" voice announcer but it isn't cool. It's just annoying. I mute my TV everytime a Miracle Whip commercial comes on.

[ChaosBladewing]

Confession time!

Who is here from TV tropes?

Dont be shy :3

[mimblefridge]

@ChaosBladewing lol. *shifty eyes*

[karatemaster64]

@ChaosBladewing

I heart you

[toxicgospel]

@ChaosBladewing Rawr >:3

[GentlemanOrcus1]

@ChaosBladewing I'm from there!

Also, mayo is not rebellious! It is mayo! You put it on sandwiches! Mayo will not incite some vast movement! It is mayo!

[ExcessiveSpareTime]

@ChaosBladewing

*So We Ate Them REPORTING FOR DUTY, SIR!

Anyway, the ad itself:

For the most part, they wouldn't know individualism if it bit them in the ass. I'm willing to bet that neither of those responsible have ever even heard the term "outsider," nor would they be the least bit flattered to see it applied to them.

[gscruiser]

@ChaosBladewing

*raises hand*