Steven Wright

[yurismir1]

If you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?

- Stephen Wright

[493547032478]

Steven Wright: Greatest Comedian of All Time

[bradjbourgeois73]

The guy on the couch!

[nomercyforpercy16]

Is this supposed to be funny?

[rapperdoctordee]

LOL

[TomBrandon121]

Aaah the deadpan...

[strongman17]

This is funny?

[PuertoRicanfjr12]

I poured water in my mixed drink but I don't know what to add.

[Death2Fanboys]

I like the part of sticking your head out of the window to smile at satellite pictures. Might try that with Google map.

[wimblewomble21]

wow what a mind. He thinks of things that we could never think of in a millions years

[DrLasker1]

this is the most depressing thing i've ever watched...

[borednerd74]

What does he say at 1:05?

[PunchSydeironReviews]

@borednerd74 Peyote. It's a hallucinogenic drug.

[mcmango84]

total class! love it,

[StupidGuhji]

@USgovernmentLies Damn i dont understand steven wright jokes? WOW I DIDNT KNOW THAT. THATS NEWS TO ME!!!! not. i just said his jokes are lame ass shit. learn how to comprehend what you read and yes you are a retard. you just proved my point. if anyone deserves a thumbs up, thats you. good job

[StupidGuhji]

@USgovernmentLies lol does it? how so? anyone who laughs at lame ass jokes are considered retards in my book :X that includes u buddy :D

[lachiemac666]

@StupidGuhji i get it. You're just in insecure asshole who can't appreciate good humor. Why dont you fuck off and let us enjoy this you fucking dickhead!

[StupidGuhji]

@lachiemac666 hmm. insecure? no. dickhead? yes. and btw steven wright sucks sorry to say. whether ur butthurt or not, i couldnt give a shit lachie :D

[frankerz47]

Brown all over the place. It stinks. Let's clean this crap up!!

[MrJoey6590]

that was k-billy's super sounds of the seventies...

[ratedEG]

oh snap its the guy on the couch

[StupidGuhji]

wow this guy straight up sucks donkey balls

[MasaTheSlayer]

@StupidGuhji can you do any better?

[StupidGuhji]

@MasaTheSlayer lmfao butt hurt because i called you out on that little girl playing guitar?

[MasaTheSlayer]

@StupidGuhji What? Some grammar would be nice and sorry for your butt, maybe you should see a doctor or something.

[StupidGuhji]

@MasaTheSlayer lmfao. grammar? do you even know what grammar means? please correct your own broken english. and man you suck at comebacks.

[MasaTheSlayer]

@StupidGuhji Well at least i dont start every comment with 'lol', 'lmfao' or some other lame abbreviation. Well if you want you can have all the "smart" comebacks that you want. Could really care less about that or your faggoty arse.

[StupidGuhji]

@MasaTheSlayer says the mexican who can't do anything besides talk shit about a little girl that can play a guitar better than him. lmfao and "smart" comebacks? wow you're pretty fucking stupid aren't you? go back to school beaner. it'll do you some good

[MasaTheSlayer]

@StupidGuhji What's this thing with Mexicans and talking shit?

[StupidGuhji]

@MasaTheSlayer hmm talking shit? i should be asking you the same thing. weren't you the one talking shit about a little 7 year old girl playing guitar better than you?

[introducing68]

@StupidGuhji -You're just too young and daft to understand his comedic style. You probably think comedians have to drop the "F BOMB" in order to be funny. Steven Wright tells jokes where you have to be smart enough to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES."

[StupidGuhji]

@introducing68 nah i dont think comedians need to drop the F bomb just to be funny. Mitch hedberg for example is 1 of my favorite comedians and he may drop F bombs here and there, but he hardly ever does it. as for "reading between the lines" this guy is just not funny period.

[introducing68]

@StupidGuhji -Well,....to each his own- I guess. Take care!

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji I'm not surprised you don't think he is funny. You really have to have an intelligent sense of humor to enjoy Wright's jokes. I enjoy Hedberg too, but thats accessible for anyone. You can be half brain dead and still get his whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I love Hedberg. great to watch when stoned. But you'd have to actually have a decent head on your shoulders to understand why this guy really is so funny.

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole have a decent head on my shoulders? having a "decent head on my shoulders" is irrelevant cuz his jokes are horrible.

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji exactly. you have to be smart to get this kind of humor. my point was any stoner can sit and watch mitch hedberg and laugh. this is for people with a more advanced sense of humor, thats all i was saying

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole so basically you're saying im not smart because i dont get his jokes? uhh yea nice try. this guy sucks. plain and simple

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji that is indeed what i'm saying. you're proving my point all over the place babe :-)

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole funny. this whole time i thought u were the retarded 1 for laughing at his lame ass jokes babe :-)

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji hahah. "retarded 1". RETARDED1 this is FALCON 8

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole wtf is falcon 8?

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji its you are dumb

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole yes, yes you are dumb. Glad you noticed. that the best you can come up with? lmfao. retards like you make me laugh :D

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji its amazing after all these weeks you're still doing this. why dont you just get off this video you claim not to like and shut up you disgusting wart on this planet. thats all i got to say. Please proceed to talk to yourself

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole LOL funny. I could say the same about you. Cuz after all, you're still doing this after all these weeks yourself. I'm only here because idiots like you keep responding to my post and get trolled. :D see I'm just here having fun with idiots like you. Please keep responding I'm having a blast

[StupidGuhji]

@thedarkesthole UMADBRO?!?!

[thedarkesthole]

@StupidGuhji i mean "stupid" is in your name so i mean...what more do we all need to say here folks? lets flush this guy

[FeederForLife]

@introducing68 I agree with you on most of it, but 'READ BETWEEN THE LINES' is quite an ironic thing to say because there aren't many comedians who rely on one-liners as much as Steven Wright.

[shreycod4]

DYRUS

[PuffSmelly]

i spilled spot remover on my dog now hes gone nnheheee

[musicbruv]

Is he meant to be funny? because he is not.

[MyChicken82]

@musicbruv ... i dont think so either!!

[musicbruv]

@MyChicken82 I see you are from Ireland, have you heard of Dave Allen? very funny comedian, look for him on YT.

[rohitrez]

ok but not great. Mitch Hedberg shits on this guy

[zeppy215]

@rohitrez - I agree Mitch Hedberg was the man!! RIP MY LITTLE FELLOW!! ME YOU!!!!

[SomeKindaSpy]

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

[SomeKindaSpy]

@agaunzjesusfreak; I'm not the one who gave my comment a thumbs up now did I? I did it as an experiment to see if copying the videoo quotes and others would cause people to thumbs it up, and it did. I also realized that this would cause many people to be angry, hense your comment.

[rohitrez]

@SomeKindaSpy thanks for ruining it u fucken douchebag

[SomeKindaSpy]

@rohitrez; Then don't read the comments before the video begins, or if you are so angry, then downvote it. I don't give a fuck. :)

[joshgret]

My comedy is just like this but no one knows about me. I have vids on my channel of my stuff. Steve is my hero!

[wahhface123]

i want to laugh but...

[SaxWan]

@wahhface123 yeah me too. gotta be in the mood i think.

[13vamper37]

My god I love this guy

[jakeellissmith]

You are funny

[hildamhughes]

......untill Billy Connolly sent me this way

[hildamhughes]

i was laughing

[mpooleo]

is he the most depressed guy in the world

[celtno1]

@mpooleo Who knows, but he's certainly the worst stand up i ever heard..

[mpooleo]

@celtno1 i wouldnt say hes the worst... kathy greenwood (whose line is it anyway?) has never made me laf n ive seen a shitload of that show

[34thstreetman]

@celtno1 He's different.

[02MAN]

fkn hell wer this crowd payed to laugh

[mikemarland]

shit shit shit

[papapetad]

Holy fuckin hell dynamite :) Thanks Billy for the suggestion and someone else who posted Steve's name in the comments section on billy's vid

[Tmants5654]

Scalping low numbers at the deli hahahaha

[staestanks]

who is billy connolly

[papapetad]

@staestanks Watch some of his comedy you'll be very pleased with the time you put in

[2Ttyz41O]

Billy Connolly did NOT bring me here.

[Phoenix1664]

@KuroTenshi8 Billy knows best! If Billy says he's good ya can guarentee is his! :D

[aphlex]

I liked this video before it even started playing.



[winggoddess]

does this guy sing any songs?

[JRUJR]

Who the hell is Billy Connolly?

[0edipussy]

@JRUJR Get out.

[Phoenix1664]

@JRUJR Oh dear mate we've got problems, I suggest ya get watching some of Billys standup you will regret it if ya dont! =)

[RPSM101]

Wow this guy is emotionally confusing, his voice is depressing but so funny at the same time!

[berlin45ers]

milli co sa asy

[LongboardLord17]

Billy conolly brought me here

[TRaddcliff]

introduced by steve martin!

[jaydol85]

I'm sorry but I can't get into this. I love dead pan, dry comedians but I just don't find his material funny.

[AndrewGurn]

@jaydol85 Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.

[jaydol85]

@AndrewGurn I don't, not at all, he's quite shite to be honest.

[77Fortran]

Finally! I had his album and never knew what he meant when he said `they should iron this'!

[SaperKlute]

i brought me here

[BeatznHookz]

44 people are either sober or drunk and hit the dislike button on accident. Get it together guys! lol

[thomasgangsta]

@BeatznHookz Your not stephen wright, you will never be, I saw that you were trying to pull a one liner

[BeatznHookz]

@thomasgangsta - not really just wondering why someone would dislike it, its insanely genius most of the stuff he says, I was just being real, not being funny....cause Ive accidentally hit dislike button on accident before.

Stop being a douche. lol

[aww10100]

@BeatznHookz shut up

[BeatznHookz]

@aww10100 - Suck an Elephant dick!

[aww10100]

@BeatznHookz shut up

[iTrxppyHD]

why is the alphabet that way...is it cuz of that song? LOL 3:36

[gajones98]

@caldare1912 he acts like that on purpose

[caldare1912]

some of the best one-liners ive ever heard... but u can tell the 70s were not good to this guy

[caldare1912]

some of the best one-liners ive ever heard

[koppshopp]

opinions are like assholes everyone has one and most of the time you don't want to here it

[ezekielvictor]

"they should iron this"

[KMSjerkerSid]

I'm a narrator for bad mimes..

[st4nd4us]

i always thought he was the guy with the axe in last action hero...

[CaptureAndEmbrace]

He is the psyduck of Stand up! hahahahaha

[BomaBoi]

Definitely trips on shrooms before he comes up with his comedy.

[CWB2208]

@admmorg13 Mitch Hedberg was better

[joel230182]

@CWB2208 grupie.

[finnemccool]

@CWB2208 I liked Hedberg, but he had nowhere near as good as Wright. Hedberg took his routine lock, stock and barrel from Wright. Wright was the original-Hedberg was the follower.

[KuroTenshi8]

So How many People came here cause Billy Connolly suggested it lol

[beverage2008]

@KuroTenshi8 yeah mate & steven wright isnt funny atall... billy connolly rules

[redpanda2401]

@KuroTenshi8. me....... and this guy aint funny.

[34thstreetman]

@redpanda2401 He's different.

[walsallmatt]

@KuroTenshi8 guilty

[RickkoD1982]

@KuroTenshi8 Yeah me. Billy's good so of course i'll follow his suggestions.

[jw870206]

I may very well have shit my pants on that last joke.

[acdc14terrace]

How can the world end in 2012 when my chocolate doesn't expire until 2014?

[TheSketchK]

@acdc14terrace That sounds like something he'd say.

[acdc14terrace]

@TheSketchK Yeah, that's why I put it up...

[NexusDarkworld338]

@acdc14terrace Just don't lose that chocolate and we'll be okay.

Grey faction!!!!!

at amazon . com and lulu . com

[DickHouseInc]

Family Guy, "I spilt spot remover on my dog, nows he's gone."

[frederickbenny]

feeling hyper :D

[Likollama]

Anyone else notice he never blinks?

[Darkez982]

@admmorg13

Agreed, Mitch Hedberg and Stuart Francis are great but Steven is UNMATCHED and the original one liner.

[DaGiantLaserCanon]

King of deadpan'

[Suuperman5461]

I thought I was going to die, the first time I saw this man. I was laughing so hard. People don't get the fact that his "one-liners" are so great!

Thanks for posting and I need to go see if I can find something to add to this powdered water I bought.

[ThommyTiernan]

Now I see who was demetri martins idol in comedy...

[1983Jacko]

@ThommyTiernan So what? One liner comedians are the best! Demetri's good just like Mitch Hedberg was one of the best.

[ThommyTiernan]

@1983Jacko - So what? Just sayin man...chill out... I obviously love them too

[1983Jacko]

@ThommyTiernan Chill out? From what? I was just saying too.

[ThommyTiernan]

@1983Jacko - I don't know...that so what got me sonfused...

[omc03]

It's not just the comedy, he's philosophical, clever and he makes you think. Takes some moron to dislike this vid.

[hecklovetch]

Lol at Steven Wright. Lol at people fighting in the comments.

[CrimsonToast]

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

-- Steven Wright

[Conspiracyknowledge]

hahahaah first time im seeing this guy...funny as hell.

[JayZTupacNas]

@Conspiracyknowledge same here! hahah loving his stuff! just like Mitch.

[plancknplant]

@admmorg13 Mitch Hedberg

[plancknplant]

@admmorg13 Mitch Heidberg

[nicaskey1]

1) Steven write is very funny 

[MrHerringfleet]

No but why do people get so cross when they get on the internet? It seems to me there are three possible reactions when watching this clip. 1) Steven Wright is very funny. 2) He’s quite funny . 3) He isn’t funny.

None of these reactions seem a particularly good reason to abuse other people who don’t share your views. Especially when the abuse is so often witless and illiterate.

[Ambulanceo]

I like this guy and his use of self-loathing commentary to make me laugh!

[TheSwordsman1995]

I try to pause the video but it just keeps on going. How has he summoned such power in one-liners?

[francoakerlund]

I'm from Botswana, and I fart in your general direction buckbuster, Daddy wants some bitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt­ttty

[buddyisgreat]

Steven Wright is funny, don't get me wrong. But i think Demetri Martin is a little funnier.

[jeahya22]

@buddyisgreat

STFU

[liptakinator]

he's a poet

[devastation2]

How did this turn into a grammar test? Oh and i loled at Knob Jockey. GG sir gg.

[Buckbuster8]

@fran

you've also used 'your' incorrectly so pipe down you pretentious twat.

[hencoleman]

@Buckbuster8 You've forgotten capitalization and commas. You lose.

[tonymcmorin]

Good stuff!

[TheAtheistParadigm]

@admmorg13 THEE Best

[TheHarajukuGoober]

genius. hilarious =]

[JBrads91]

Billy Connelly!!!! Enough said, British comedians are so much better then American ones. Fact!!!

[francoakerlund]

@JBrads91 That show's that you are A) Unfamiliar with George Carlin, and B) a sanctimonious "douchenozzle" shaped like impotence and basking in the glow of failure...the failure of abortions. You sir are the prime example pro choice campaigners point to when supporting their argument, and oddly enough recruitment to their cause has never been so bountiful. Merry Christmas, I do earnestly hope you enjoyed your gift...the gift of a wholesome burn.

[JBrads91]

@francoakerlund he's shite!!!! you know it, no build up, he's just wheeling off short crappy jokes!!!!!!

and i'm english so please speak my language properly!!!

[francoakerlund]

@JBrads91 The reason he's wheeling off short "crappy" jokes is because that's the technique he's developed. Simple. If you don't like it, why on earth would you make such a highly retarded general assumption as though your skull has been assaulted with a frozen cucumber by a deranged Silverback afflicted with neurosyphilis till you spout nonsensical statements which only confirm your position as what is referred to in point B) as a sanctimonious "douchnozzle"?

[Parasystemleaf182]

@francoakerlund I wish I could insult people who know nothing as intelligently as you. :]

[francoakerlund]

Respond to this video... Regarding your instruction that I speak English properly because you happen to hail from there, well that is equally as baffling as your initial statement. May have to alter my position on the matter to accommodate the possibility that you are the aforementioned Silverback beating yourself upon the head with a frozen cucumber till you are unable to string a sentence together without setting your self ablaze and defecating into an open manhole whilst weeping?

[JBrads91]

@francoakerlund you're still not their!! in English please!!!

Rule Brittania and rule billy connelly, this guy sucks!!!!!!!

[francoakerlund]

@JBrads91 Knob jockey, you've just used "their" incorrectly. You're not English, your one of them bloody foreign builders, ain't ya, eh?

[Parasystemleaf182]

@francoakerlund Ha! You've used "your" incorrectly, you absolute hypocrite. :]

[JBrads91]

@francoakerlund you got me, i'm from latvia. But i'm a college lecturer in England, thanks for pointing out my weakness sir. This guy is still wank though, honestly mate watch Billy Connelly, Al Murray!!!

[chonomakona]

@JBrads91 Ever hear of one liners? Stephen Wright is arguably the greatest one liner comic ever. Think about a single one liner and you'll realize how witty he is.

[angela1894]

who invented this style of comedy ? Wright or Hedberg ??

[BL00DYMETAL]

@angela1894

they have very different styles of one liners. wright has very literal and depressing stuff, hedberg is more surreal and upbeat...

[robbiefoxohyes]

Apparently he keeps pausing and putting his hand in front of his face just so he can remember the next joke. Doesn't matter, HE RULES!

[Right1Music]

@admmorg13 What about Mitch?