Patton Oswalt - Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats

[GreenGearMood]

Why does he call it a basement when it's a kitchen?

[migkillertwo]

thumbs up if you're eating stella d'oro breakfast treats

[TheChowder444]

this whole special is on netflix instant watch as Patton Oswalt: No Reason to Complain. The whole thing is worth watching. It's really funny.

[robcallowfof]

44 people chew on the paper boy's dick

[youthXattack]

@robcallowfof cool story bro

[TheDameofdarkness]

" What are you doing?!!!"

[cutterxbuck]

His description of this commercial is spot on

[StevenS757]

watch?v=ij1VIgcItQ8 They seem a lot less angry than he portrays them.

[Liebling05]

I need to see this commercial.

[daveh013]

God , My dad bought those in bulk.

Thanks P for bringing up something I even forgot I was happy to forget.

[DoubtfulGrace]

39 people are BABBEH DANGLERS!

[born2groove422]

big fan

[87shadowfox]

Everybody who disses The Great Patton, prolly hate themselvez 10x's more than patton ever hated himself. Luv ya PATTON! PLEASE COME TO Yakima,.WA!

[3ggh3ad]

just saw him live in vancouver, amazing!!. if you ever get the chance to see him live do it!!!

[LordRockfish]

girl at 2:37 in the leather jacket must have took a wrong turn on her way to jump off a bridge

bitch needs a Stella D'oro

[themetalman3]

I think I had the same reaction watching Patton's stand act for the first time AFTER seeing Ratatouie, when I saw Robin Williams do stand up. I was like, "whoa, here's the genie from Aladin talking about having a brain and a cock and not being able to run both at a time." Watching Patton, I feel the same way, cept it's like, "Wow, here's Remy from Ratatouie talking about a paper boy's cock."

Stella D'oro breakfast treats.

[tedcantu1]

I actually remember seeing this on the east coast channels as a kid... WOR Channel 9

[Farnik01]

Patton Oswalt is a genius...

[speedformercy]

I remember those ads vividly - they were horrifying

[CliftonPhotographer]

Alright,who else watched the related video "Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats Ad" video right after this?

[youngrebels75]

@CliftonPhotographer I did. ... LOL I'm still in tears laughing

[xZippy38]

WHAT'RE YOU DOIN'?!

[DoubtfulGrace]

Oh god, I want to be mean and just forward that add to all my friends who just want to get married.

[EVOGENONE]

ha ha

[FCA1975]

lol

[GR33NFLAM3]

h ttp://w ww.youtube.com/watch?v=ij1VIgc­ItQ8

[hirothemouse]

I just imagined Remy nibbling on one of them and getting pissed as hell.

[youngrebels75]

@hirothemouse I always wondered about that. I mean I love Patton, I've got his last DVD "Weakness is Strong," etc. But didn't Disney do some research on him before they OK'd him as the voice of their next big movie? I mean kudos to Brad Bird because he did see his act and all but that always cracks me up whenever I watch Ratatouie, I picture Remy yelling, "SKY CAKE!"

[hirothemouse]

@youngrebels75 I love his comedy. And I had no idea who Patton Oswalt was until after I saw Ratatouille. But I was pretty shocked to see the things he had to say, and I'm sure some kids were as well. He is one of the least likely people to /Star/ in a Disney film, but he certainly did a great job voice acting. What's amazing is he actually takes advantage of the experience in his Halloween story.

[youngrebels75]

@hirothemouse I was thinking about the Halloween story as I was reading your comment :-) "So Patton what was it like working with Brad Bird?" "It was great! (RIP BLEED!) LOL

[akwaqs]

I remember that TV ad. It reminded me of a Diane Arbus photograph dramatized for TV. Not a great way to sell cookies. The one with the wife thinking her husband has brought her a pearl necklace, but instead has brought her a bag of Stella D’Oro cookies is funny.

[blazeofglory00]

Commercial hes talking about

watch?v=ij1VIgcItQ8&feature=re­lated

[GearRocks]

I took a moment to pause this and find the commercial that he was talking about; and he was right it was disturbing!

[mrfrenik]

2:37 ...guess she really likes Stella D'oro cookies.

[saguaroboy]

C'mon Patton! This is the best- stay away from politics.

[PuddingnShortbuses]

oh my god, cracks me every time!

[QuatermassMan]

What does a baby's coffin smell like exactly? I've never heard that before, "A baby's coffin."

[PaulIsDeadMissHim]

@QuatermassMan

He's just trying to think of the most offensive thing possible, not meant to be taken literally.

[QuatermassMan]

@PaulIsDeadMissHim Oh good! Well, succeed he did. He's one of my favorite comedians. Very underrated.

[overfrozen1]

@PaulIsDeadMissHim shoulda said beiber songs...

[Daelock]

@PaulIsDeadMissHim I actually think it's a dig at not being able to conceive. Just how I heard it.

[SongSephen]

@PaulIsDeadMissHim I'm in tears laughing so hard at this. baby coffin good stuff man good stuff

[Tangerinian]

@QuatermassMan It smells like rotten flesh and poopy diapers

[Sarcasmitron]

@QuatermassMan

He's trying to imply that she had a miscarriage or an abortion at some point.

[42cosmonauts]

@QuatermassMan *sigh* 

[dfdemt]

@QuatermassMan You are an idiot for even asking this question. Its a figure of speech you moron.

[Javer80]

@dfdemt

I'm going to advise you here for a moment: you've taken time out of your day to insult a stranger for something he typed in, clicked Post, and after which left the site . . . eight months ago. Eight months. I'm aware that this is, itself, a comment you made a week ago. But I'd hesitate to call that the same offense.

Eight months, man.

Chill.

[dfdemt]

@Javer80 fuck you and everyone who looks like you faggot. It dosnt matter if it was 8 months or 8 years ago. Hes STILL a fucking idiot for asking the literal meaning to an obvious figure of speech. Now please, go end your life. You obviously suck at it anyway.

[Javer80]

@dfdemt Don't get mad; it's a question about a comedy bit. Chill out. I promise you, shit will not start exploding and raining deadly hellfire all over if you do. Everything will be just fine.

[jasonfifi]

@QuatermassMan like the saddest death ever.

[dbgelman]

@QuatermassMan like the twat of stella d' oro

[JustusGregorius]

@QuatermassMan it smells like velvet that has been pooped on vomited on... and oak tree smell.

[Boobalopbop]

37 people have cunts that smell like baby coffins.

[Boobalopbop]

"Your cunt smells like a baby's coffin!" WOW!!! lmao!

[Pariscafelife]

the beta of the closed captioning is clearly a ways away from success! "quietly colin wrecked the streets" = why do thet call them breakfast treats!? The rest is almost as funny as the bit!

[thevgman]

The chick at 2:38 is not amused

[PuddingnShortbuses]

@thevgman that was her parents in that commercial.

[TomMSTie1138]

I didn't know they still made Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats until I happened to find them in the cookie/cracker aisle of my local grocery store.

[QuatermassMan]

What does "baby's coffin" mean? I don't get the comparason...but it's funny as FUCK.

[DancingSpiderman]

2:34 BWAAahahaha the zoom out view of that oval-shaped lighting of the stage... seems pornographically eerie... Elvira?

[coprographia]

the ironic part is that a baby's coffin actually smells okay

[starcrafter13terran]

36 people's twats smell like a baby's coffin

[johnnydragonfist]

@starcrafter13terran lmao i was just about to post that

[KrandieChan]

the Stella D'oro commercial he ref. to

watch?v=ij1VIgcItQ8

[Nanaman12345]

@KrandieChan Don't thumb up this. The link doesn't work.

[KrandieChan]

@Nanaman12345

are you sure?, just tryed it now and it plays just fine. Go to my profile and see

My Favorites, you can see it there also.

[TheSleazySaint]

Oh patt, if only you were attractive we would be doing it in my garage right now.

[wutang1024]

I love the lady at the end in the audience who isn't laughing. I love people who go to comedy shows determined not to laugh. It's the kind of thing that indicates a complete lack of value to the human race

[jimbobklyn1963]

@wutang1024 that's my aunt she has cancer.

[scootsogle]

@jimbobklyn1963 awesome

[SquallCloud]

He makes me laugh til I cry.

[bassguitarfreek]

Does anyone know which special this is from?

[tommydafrog]

Sounds like the Sopranos..

[dlund42179]

i see that 36 people trapped in failed hateful marriages watched this bit and it hit too close to home...

[HiroyukiNishino]

Okay, this guy ironically succeeded in advertising Stella D'Oro breakfast treats. I want to taste one now...

[DanZero77]

ORIGINAL BREAKFAST TREAT AD HERE (copy n paste, add YT dot com before this)

watch?v=7tRlV_lZOXM#t=1m32s

[Tornadicus]

Unfuckable hag xD

[Blackluster96]

can someone link me the comercial?

[TheLogicJunkie]

It's in a YouTube video called "NY TV MEGA BREAK 1985". The commercial starts at 1:33 into it.

[xcalibur4ever]

"Stella dora breakfast treats. snack time anytime."

I was saying that to myself all day today. Patton Oswalt is a better marketer than the actual treats are.

[MrMagneticPelican]

looks like there's 36 unfuckable hags that need a pair of glasses to see the like button

[chicostick12]

"who gave you the word some was the only democratic leadership to high office not campaign."

[entertherat]

I had never heard of Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats before watching this.

This skit single-handedly motivated me to go get and eat some.

[burbboy27]

The closed captioning on this is fucking hilarious

[chicostick12]

@burbboy27 "the disease is village"

[SillySantaHat]

I am a fan of

Dane Cook and I think I understand all of the animosity toward him.

Initially I chalked it up to jealousy, but it is something more, even

though I think that is a significant factor. I am a wrestling fan and

think I can make an analogy. Most of my favorite wrestlers are what

are considered technical wrestlers. Bret Hart, Kurt Angle, Curt

Hennig, Bryan Danielson... There are also those that are more flashy

and not as technically proficient. Some are just big powerhouses,

[SillySantaHat]

@SillySantaHat not

much to them but they get the job done. My favorite comics are those

that are a bit more topical than others and speak a lot about things

that matter, your David Crosses, George Carlins, Bill Hickses, Marc

Marons, etc. and so forth. Then there are the more successful, well

known comics. Success is a pretty objective term, though. Steve

Martin, Eddie Murphy, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the something something,

Jerry Seinfeld, Dane Cook.

[SillySantaHat]

These guys appeal to a wider audience for

whatever reason, maybe it is just exposure, maybe it is strictly based

on their content, who knows? In wrestling it is guys like Hulk Hogan,

Ultimate Warrior, The Rock, Steve Austin, Sting, John Cena. Guys not

really known for their technical prowess, but perhaps not altogether

incapable either, in a few cases.

[SillySantaHat]

Every so often one slips through

the cracks, guys like George Carlin or Bret Hart, but it is certainly

not without years of hard work and such.

Now, there are other guys that work just as hard, maybe harder, but do

not really progress up the ladder of success, considering  that

success is perceived as money and notoriety that is, guys like Jim

Gaffigan, Eddie Pepitone, The Motor City Machine Guns, Dean Malenko.

[SillySantaHat]

John Cena is the top guy in the wrestling industry (I refuse to call

it "Sports Entertainment") at the moment, it could be argued that he

is the reason that people are plopping down their money to attend live

events, though it might not be as cut and dried as in comedy. When

you have a headliner with huge recognition and then you have relative

unknowns on the bill, you can be fairly certain about who people are

coming to see. It is a bit different in wrestling, although maybe a

[SillySantaHat]

bit more similar in the 80s, there are so many known names on every

card and the brand itself is a huge selling point to a whole host of

people that may not even be that interested in the current product,

maybe just looking for something to do on a Tuesday night, that the

product tends to sell itself. I guess the same could be said for

comedy, too. Generally, though, you like to know what you are getting

yourself into. Dane Cook is arguably the biggest name in comedy right

now.

[SillySantaHat]

Who doesn't know this guy in some capacity? This is where I

really see the similarities in this particular analogy. Cena and Cook

are both derided as not as good as a lot of their contemporaries. I

disagree, though, it depends on what you want out of your performers.

Why then the amount of success that they have found? A lot of it

needs to be attributed to marketability. Dane Cook said that he was

surprised by how many times Comedy Central aired the episode with him

on it.

[SillySantaHat]

Obviously they saw something that they knew would attract

viewers. This is where I saw him for the first time and I doubt many

people would know who he was were it not for that show. John Cena

would not be where he is if Vince McMahon hadn't seen something in him

that people would pay for, and boy have they. John Cena is not even

close to being a great technical wrestler, that doesn't mean that he

can't do it, he just doesn't need to. Same for Dane cook. He sucks at

wrestling.

[SillySantaHat]

Also, he might not be the most topical or abrasive comic,

but again, he doesn't need to be. What these guys do works very well

for them, and their audience. Something needs to be said for their

work rate, too, regardless of what people think they know, myself

included.

[SillySantaHat]

The things that my favorites have to offer, as great as they may be,

are not for everyone and it is important to not only realize that, but

to embrace it. Bill Hicks may not have been the most successful comic

of all time, and definitely not in America, but his legacy has lived

on, past the Jeff Foxworthys and Jerry Seinfelds of the world. He is

one of the most highly regarded and influential comics of all time, he

just didn't work on the same level as someone like Dane Cook.

[SillySantaHat]

People

don't like to think and it is easier to just go ahead and let those in

front of us on stage or on TV do all of the work for us.

Now, getting back to the jealously thing, if you're one of the guys

that I mentioned earlier that might work harder and all that, wouldn't

you be jealous if someone came along, seemingly out of nowhere, and

went straight to the top?

[SillySantaHat]

I know I would, and I would probably be

pretty vocal about it, but probably not about the things that were

really bothering me with the situation. I would find other ways

around that and attack everything else about him but his success, that

would make it too obvious. Anyway, I feel like I began rambling

twenty lines ago. I am sure you get the point and I apologize if I

mis-categorized or mis-characterized you or any of the other

performers that I mentioned.

[SillySantaHat]

I should probably also apologize for

comparing John Cena and Dane Cook, although both have the same amount

of letters in their names and both are from the Boston area. Hmmm....?

Makes you wonder.

[jackattack17]

Is this on any of his albums?

[monkeymerchant72]

222 live & uncut

[bsjett]

Patton is soooo amazing. I could listen to him all day every day and laugh at every single joke. So clever, so smart. Awesome.

[NewYorkRetroKing]

Guess what. The real, vintage Breakfast Treats TV ad is posted on RetroJunk. just recently. Look in the commercials page under 80's, and "Snacks/Food". Plus, the lines are mostly different from Patton's lines.

[drew25kra]

@NewYorkRetroKing Oh my god it is!

it's cutesier than Patton makes it out t o be, but it's hilarious to imagine his lines going with it!

[ChiColdWar]

haha I was a little kid at the time but I remember that commercial...and it used to perplex me even at my wee age, "like, why are they so angry but they have cookies"

Thanks Patton.

[Quajek]

You guys need to stop giving away punchlines in your comments. We see those before the video loads.

[jackattack17]

@Quajek I definitely agree, when you give away the punchlines its not as funny when he finally says them

[BobbyMilk305]

tell me again.....but why are we discussing Dane Cook? i thought this was a Patton Oswalt video

[ghostbuster323]

Maybe if you learned how to eat some pussy haha

[bertrude123]

I view comedy and music the same way. For instance, when it comes to music, some people are into what's popular. They listen to top 40 hits and all the mainstream radio stations. Others prefer artists and bands that try harder and aren't as over-produced. They may not be as popular, but more often than not their music is a lot deeper.

Dane Cook is very popular, but I prefer comedians who are funnier, edgier, and wittier, such as Patton Oswalt.

Once in a while I don't mind a Dane Cook joke.

[jek21]

@bertrude123 sounds about right.

[Woofei]

@bertrude123 His joke or another comedian's joke that he often steals from.

[UnholyblessRS]

Dane Cook is an entertainer and he's good at it. Look at you tripping over him, giving him more attention. You're just feeding into it. You haters are so fucking stupid.

Patton is great!

[5tran9eMCMLXXII]

@UnholyblessRS even if you think dane cook has a shred of talent, he's not even in the same league as patton oswalt. sorry but it's the truth.

[cheesecake134]

WHAT AH YOU DOIN'?!

[flyastarship]

Someone upload this commercial.

[Aphasia17]

well maybe if you fucked me once in a while i wouldnt be gnawing on this thing like its the paper boys dick!

[AngryLeroy]

@Aphasia17 "You F*ng whore!"

[Wrathbone13]

I like how at 2:37 they cut to the one woman in the audience who isn't laughing...oh go see Dane Cook, you dumb broad.

[saguaroboy]

@Wrathbone13 Exactly. This guy is flat hysterical. Dane Cook isn't fit to slob PO's knob.

[themirrorsofmymind]

"... just this unfuc_able hag!"

[sickbubblegum]

Your twat smells like a baby's coffin!!

You fuckin' asshole!

Stella D'oro breakfast treats, snack time, anytime.

[DaCosmicCat]

WE GET STELLA DORA in Japan! LMAO This is hilarious..this made my day. I laughed so hard I had tears out my eyes.

[forehandslam4]

The girl in black at 2:38 is soooooo hot

[brenshaw1987]

AdReinhardt : IT'S TWAT... NOT COCK. LOL BUT ITS ALL FUNNY JUST THE SAME.

[deville611]

LOL... Does anyone know the what the name of this show? Im trying to find the whole video

[ragekage52]

its on his first dvd

[nastyhobbit]

lol @ 2:38

not amused at all

[hcabmellaK]

If anyone knows where online to find Patton Oswalt's bit about a lounge entertainer singing "LOVE ON THE ROCKS," please send a message to this YouTube account (hcabmellaK). The bit is so genuinely hilarious.

[AdReinhardt]

Your cock smells like a baby's coffin, Stella Dora Breakfast Treats.

[xnonsuchx]

That's TWAT!

[SquallCloud]

I remember that horrible commercial. lol

[NewYorkRetroKing]

As a follow-up to digitalshark, I remember that ad as well. And IIRC, it actually took place in the kitchen. Also, from what I remember, the slogan went "There's no wrong time to eat them".

[ChainGangPictures]

Hilarious bit.  'What'ya doin?'

[digitalshark]

I remember this commercial - I can still hear the dialogue as it was spoken all these years later. It wasn't as angry as Patton's delivery, obviously, but it was every bit as unappealing and strangely bitter - I remember the husband's line of "why do they call them breakfest treats?" being said in kind of a slow, creepy manner too. A very strange ad.

[samurai1833]

So funny it hurts!

[OHYEAH567]

1:30-1:40. I can't stop laughing!

[DeathAdder83]

why is patton oswalt so fucking awesome?

[lasse88]

@DeathAdder83 he can to 100 pushups..Doh

[ChildofDust6969]

maybe if your cunt didnt smell like a babys coffin.. hahaha

[macandrewes]

'...just this unfuckable hag...' LOL!

[Russellt0228]

alrigh stella doris is awesome damn you LOL!

[dawgggystyle]

when he says 'your twat smells like a baby's coffin' I fucking lose it.!!

hilarious

[Meda01]

Where is that freaking ad?!

[westwayxxr]

YOU FUCKING WHORE

Stella Dora Breakfast Treats

:D LMFAO

[Down10]

lol @ frowning lady in audience @2:38

[EmperorKarsa]

I didn't even notice her at first. What a bitch.

[CHIWhiteVulture]

hahha "Baby's coffin".

So fucking good.

hahahhaha.

I remember that commercial too he had the timing perfect with "You can have em anytime!!!"

[HISTORYBUFFPA]

I remember the comm. he's talking about.  LOL

[tdubs408]

his right arm @ 1:38 lol

[youngrebels75]

lol ... the physical comedy makes the joke so much funnier "Why do dey call'em break-fast-treats?!?" lol

[Javer80]

@youngrebels7:

Dude, I know. I've been watching Patton for years and yet somehow I had no idea he could do physical comedy.

[youngrebels75]

me either... He's friggen hilarious! He was REEEALLLY underrated on King of Queens. They could have used his character so much more. But I guess with Jerry Stiller, it would have been off balance.

[svenskcanadian]

What are you doin'!? XD LOLOL

[pupil8]

i need to find that commercial!

[RSCII]

Patton is beyond awesome... killer wit and intelligence - deadly combo!

[bsjett]

lol Patton, Patton, Patton..my favorite comedian.

[shootxthexmessenger]

YOU FUCKING WHORE!

stella dora breakfast treats. snack time anytime.

<3 patton.

[dillingerjos]

hahaha, which special is this from?

[DinosaursAndWeed]

I think it's from "No Reason to Complain". It's available on iTunes

[pupil8]

No Reason to Complain 2004

[MackenzieCaroline6]

ooohhh shit :D

[DoubtfulGrace]

Mmmmm.. makes me want a cookie.

[tehmaninblack]

I remember that commercial, not that I saw it during its first airing, I'm not that old

[mrsangelfall93]

suuuurrrree lol

[supertribe69]

the stage looks like a big anus loooool

[Fill731]

ok name me a comic whos made anyone laugh or made a dime off being funny outside the usa? and canada doesnt count and ill give you sasha cohn. patton is the best stand up out today here or any country.