Added: 5 months ago
From: TheOnion
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  • Is this a joke seriously is this a joke I can't tell??????

  • @bestwaffleg what? of course not

  • @ThebanPhalanx Actually, a cheeseburger costs less than an apple. Potato chips cost less than carrots.

  • @whyme943 Notice how he also called low income people unsophisticated and easy to appease?

  • @whyme943 carrots are heavy, a bag of potato chips is really light weight, ,are you sure they are the same price per gram? Whole Potatos in a bag (10 lbs) are one of the cheapest foods, probably cheaper than any food on the planet.

  • I'm pro gun and concealed carry, but this is hilarious.

  • fucking americans

  • @Xezatt Someones trollin'

  • sooo funny!

  • It's not a new law - it's a supreme court ruling!

    Still great video.

  • so fucking true

  • Two to the chest one to the head. Hooah

  • Holding a gun a t head level is necessary for self defense. I totally support that!

  • the constitution gives every american the right to this...!!! ...what is a gun good for if you are not holding it at head level...

  • Can you point that gun gangsta style at head level?

  • The NRA thing was funny, but hopefully it doesn't make people think that gun advocates are actually crazy... :/

  • @aosterminal yeah, you're right, this video is going to be the thing that makes people think the nra is crazy. not, say, the entire organization's history up to this point.

  • America isn't the only country with an obesity problem. and the only reason we have it is because of our high standard of living. You gotta take the good with the bad.

  • @phillyguy95 Too bad many overweight Americans are those who live in poor urban areas. The kind of areas where fast food joints are on every corner. Eating healthy is generally more expensive and less filling than a 700 calorie double gulp soda at a 7-11, or a 400 calorie $1 double cheeseburger from McDonalds.

    The fact that low income families are essentially forced to eat junk because they either can't afford or don't have easy access to healthier foods is hardly a "high standard of living."

  • @Xeonaa

    Low income families are just uneducated.

    Fast food costs more than base healthy foods.

    Don't match nutrition by calories...

    Junk food is just more satisfying and filling.

    Low economic people usually have less sofisticated minds which chemicals in junkfood easily appease.

    A definition of healthy would could be just eating sweet potatoes or pumpkins (which provides more nutrition than having a variety of junk food).

  • @ThebanPhalanx "Low income families are just uneducated" is along the same lines as saying "the homeless are just lazy." It's not necessarily true & it's a little offensive!

    I don't know about your city, but in mine, you're MUCH more likely to run across dozens of fast food joints before you find a single grocery store downtown!

    Transportation is also an issue for many low-income families, and lugging groceries onto a bus or subway is extremely annoying, if not impossible...

  • @ThebanPhalanx Kinda narrow there. Yes, living healthy and finding a good education/job sound like simple concepts, but people who live such lives in other countries do so by means that are simply not feasible in huge countries like the US. I'm not excusing those who squander their opportunities and resources, but the world simply doesn't work on that kind of point-line logic.

  • @FutaSarah5000 isnt that what your states are for? You have a point that smaller countries can outsource certain things more easily then larger ones. But the fact alot of americans are overweight probably has more to do with 'bad' city planning and culture. in america you need your car for almost anything, in older european cities (for example) which aren't as designed for cars it is in some cases easier to do grocery shopping and such things by bike or public transportation.

  • @chr0onomeister The US administrative boundaries were not drawn with accessibility in mind, unfortunately. The older US cities are also not designed for vehichles, though the streets (because of streetcars and horses) "naturally" were wide enough to accomodate them in Industrial cities like Chicago, Detroit, etc. Yes, you do need a car for just about anything, but inner city people usually can't afford them. A spiral of unaffordability and inaccesibility.

  • @phillyguy95 "high standard of living"

    That cracks me the fuck up.

  • yep, that sounds like the NRA, alright...

  • Lol @ 1:58 "We will be prepared for any contingency, including the possibility that Breyer kills himself with a shotgun in his bedroom before his illness claims his life."

  • Intelligence does not come from your country or place of birth. The whole argument in the comments section is juvenile.

  • @8375705 " 'Most Americans are not loud and stupid.' - not stupid, but certainly LOUD."

    60+% of Americans believe the Noah's Ark story is true.....most Americans are stupid :/

  • @TheHigherVoltage where are you getting youre facts? the onion?

  • @cronon94 The Washington Post - 61% according to a news poll. And the figure from the Pew Research Center is pretty close to 58%. Look it up.

  • mikma was here

  • The Onion got the funny back. Good.

    thumbs up!

  • @tsjoencinema whenever you ask for thumbs up, it makes you a douche, so im flagging you for spam

  • @ericsyutubeaccount My thumbs up was for the video, not my comment LOL

    You're the douche!

  • @ericsyutubeaccount, inorite? I hate when people ask for thumbs up. Thumbs up if you agree!

  • i would fuck brook if i had the chance

  • @buddyacesisrael1 Who wouldn't?

  • Hell Yeah!

    Guns are totally bad ass! PEW PEW PEW!

  • this guy reminds me of neil patrick harris, but perhaps less gay.

  • I'm sorry, but gun control has nothing to do with protecting oneself from "bad guys" you would meet on the street. It's about having the right to protect yourself from corrupted government rule. If only the greedy people in power have all the weapons, we'll be easier to oppress as a society.

  • This will decrease the minority population in a hurry.

  • whoa,I almost thought this was real.

  • 72%...

    72 is my favorite number.

  • I wanna see Brooke necking with a giraffe.

  • i love brooke. she's the definition of superior news reading!

  • Americans, why are you acting like if Europe were one big country? It's nothing like that.

  • @Kingzizeeee Why are you euros acting like America is one big Texas?

  • @tvap1122 haha. it's because we hear so much weird and dumb things going on there and stuff like that.. but I know that everybody isn't like that :)

    In our continent. the whole fucking south of europe is so slow in everything. it's like if they were in a completly diffrent continent.

  • @Kingzizeeee I'm glad you know that not everyone is the same. Us Americans do tend to think that Europe is one big group of people on one country, but actually many Europeans would be surprised to know that we are actually very interested in the various cultures in the EU.

  • @tvap1122 Of course, the only place in the world where I almost doubt that people can be normal is in Afghanistan.

    Hehe ya it's funny when you think like that. As I said, it's nothing like that. Greece has their own thing, France, England and Germany is also diffrent.

    We have Scandinavian which includes basically Sweden, Denmark and Norway. We all have our own languages but we all understand eathother to pretty well. They're kinda the same. It's really hard to understand Danish though.

  • What happened to Newsroom, In the Know, and Today Now?

  • Man: But I thought guns were bad.

    Announcer: FALSE! GUNS ARE GOOD!

    - Family Guy

  • Go to GunOwners org and OpenCarry org.

  • Most Americans are not loud and stupid. It's just that the ones who are get TV shows, book deals and run for office. You see where the misconception comes in.

  • @aquiace THANK you. Seriously.

  • @aquiace Well, there's also the large majority of Youtubers to consider.

  • @aquiace The TV shows that the American populace watches, the books they buy and the elected officials they elect...

  • @Dagens24 Oh dear, here I thought electing Obama would fix all these problems for us.

  • @aquiace and travel!

  • @aquiace I c wut u did thar

  • @aquiace lol so true

  • @aquiace And fat! You forgot fat.

    ...Oh crap, most Americans are fat...

  • @Xeonaa Most Americans are skinny, there's just a higher fat/skinny ratio

  • @Bullfr0g174 Did you know that 2/3 of the US is overweight or obese according to the CDC? I think that qualifies as "most."

  • @Xeonaa Even officials are human.

  • @Bullfr0g174 What are you talking about?

  • @Xeonaa They may not be right, have you thought about that?

  • @Bullfr0g174 They -are- right. I can't believe you live in the US but don't know about the obesity epidemic. Just Google it FFS...

  • @Xeonaa hehe, the guy probably didn't notice, because they're all stuck at McD or on the couch.

  • i thought podcasting was a type of job... Who knew?

  • s-s-s-s-syphilis! syphilis syphilis. syph-syph-syph-syphilis

  • That's the same game my parents play when they watch House.

  • @deekaygee33 You just made yourself look ignorant. The people who made that video cut out all the people who got it right. They interviewed hundreds of people. I could easily do the same thing in other countries. It's only retards like you who think it's cool to bash America.

  • for a while there I thought this news was real when "holding the gun at head level" came on... this is America

  • Dangerous sentiments to express while utilising your Constitutional Right™.

    "GET DOWN (get down)"

    "GET OUT OF THE CAR (and cycle or walk if your journey is under a mile)"

    "HEY, FUCKING PIG (would you kindly direct me to the nearest public house)"

  • do 1 of legalysing pot and everything fixes itself like crime down and ressesion over

  • I love the single mom.

  • i always try to avoid reading the title before watching the video

  • Damnit I thought this actually happened until I saw "Uploaded by TheOnion" D:

  • Parody or not... fingers on the trigger are wrong.

  • @KayakMike1963 get a grip...literally

  • @marcusebrawner , Weaver, Ayoob's stress fire, Chapman, offhand, or Isosceles? Interestingly, the woman appears to actually have TWO fingers jammed in there... Some bizarre take on the supposed phallic symbology of firearms???

  • @KayakMike1963 meanwhile on earth

  • Well, sounds legit to me. Can't wait to go out to a highly populated mall or place of social interest and just whip out my 44 mag. Should be fun :)

  • I'm pretty sure this has been legal in Russia for like 25 years now.

  • This video depicts the view us europeans got on america. No joke.

  • @LowStackTom goes to show how ignorant you are

  • @LowStackTom this is so true man those stupid americans and there thinking people will die all the time from aids and shit. they so stupid with there low bribes and lack of ununderstandable accents.

    stupida americans

  • @LowStackTom And Europeans believing moronic things about Americans because what they see on tv reinforces our opinion that europeans are really really gullible.

  • @morcova

    ahah yeah okay like americans aren't ignorant? you should type into the youtube search bar "Americans are dumb" and watch the interview videos.

  • @morcova 1. Europeans see americans doing stipid shit all day.

    2. 90% of which is not broadcast on TV.

    3. Having an educated opinion is not gullibility.

    4. Many many more reasons.

    Im not saying that the rest of the world is smarter than you but our knowledge is generally a lot broader. Watch the "americans are dumb" video and it shows what a lack of general knowledge the american public have. Easy questions asked, dumbass replies.

  • @Bobajobimus Do you seroiusly think that those videos are actually representative of americans? They only show the 5% of people interviewed who answered stupidly, ignoring the 95% normal people. I doubt you've ever even been to the U.S.

  • @mooserman911 Nope cant say that I have but how many americans have passports? Its between 28%-34% last reference I found whereas I am from the UK and the most recent figures I found show just over 70% of us do, myself included.

    Contrary to common expectations Americans arn't stupid, as proven by accomplishing some of the most amazing undertakings of any nation so far, but the vast majority of Americans will never leave their own country and will be ignorant their entire lives.

    Unfortunately

  • @Bobajobimus I'm american and I'd have to agree. I'm commenting because I'm grateful you're not some snub that can only say negative things about us, which in my opinion is rather ignorant no matter which nationality it is.

  • @Bobajobimus Though it is true that most Americans do not leave their own country, you have to consider that the United States is like the size of Europe, more or less. Going from England to France is like going from one state to another in the United States. (geographically I mean) I wonder how many of those UK passport holders leave Europe?

  • @Bobajobimus I understand how you can interpret that because only a low percentage of americans have passports they must not go anywhere. But the thing is the U.S is so big that you don't even need to leave the country to see amazing things and totally different cultures. England is only 2.5% the size of the united states, so it is understandable that you like to travel around europe to get away, but for most americans it's way cheaper just to tour the country. Europe is nice though, I know that

  • @morcova - maybe, but you have to cut us Europeans some slack; we're generally accustomed to being able to believe what we see on TV... (speaking for Germany, that is - Berlusconi, yeah, well...)

  • @LowStackTom Who do you think that reflects more negatively on?

  • Comment removed

  • @Kingzizeeee Should I just repeat myself?

  • Comment removed

  • @Kingzizeeee Your the one getting emotional over a simple, relevant question. Your also the one continuing to throw accusations around like toys. Which is what sparked my original comment.

    You mad?

  • @LowStackTom as an american, I used to think that european accents made you sound "smart." funny, huh?

  • @LowStackTom You mean the rest of the world... Not just Europe lol.

  • @LowStackTom Good, you keep realizing that we all have guns over here. I've had a concealed carry license for 11 years now, and many of my friends do too. We are not victims here, you'll only find victims in cities like New York, Chicago, D.C., etc where those fools pass laws to prevent innocent civilians from carrying guns to protect themselves from the criminals who do not obey gun laws. Gun laws create a target rich environment for criminals.

  • @intrepidorator Thx for your reply, although I think diff. on this matter.

    There are to many guns on the streets, simply because every dumbo is allowed to carry 1 (or 5) in the US. Of course in e.g. Germany people get murdered as well, but very much fewer and mostly without guns. It´s just so much easier to kill with a gun than with a club in a drunken ball-room fight.

  • @LowStackTom While it is true that guns kill more efficiently than a knife in a bar room fight, you must realize that it is illegal to carry a gun into a bar, even for me, and I have a concealed carry permit. So I hope that you understand that only people breaking gun laws are carrying them into bars, libraries, post offices, govt bulidings, etc. So only criminals are carrying guns into bars, gun laws only stop law abiding citizens from carrying guns.

  • @LowStackTom

    You're right, there is no intelligence test required for exercising your second amendment rights, just as there is no intelligence test required for exercising your first amendment rights (something for which you should be quite grateful).

    I ca tell you right now, none of my firearms are "on the streets"... they are either in my home or on my person, where i control them.

    And if there are so many guns out there, and they kill so well, why aren't there millions of deaths yearly?

  • @intrepidorator

    It's 100% true. I live in the Baltimore - DC Metropolitan area, and violent crime here is higher than in other locations throughout the country due in large part to all the "gun-control" legislation around here.

    Fact is a law abiding person can not legally defend themselves here, and everyone knows it. That makes those who WOULD break the law far more willing to do so, because they are in much less danger of retaliation from their victims.

  • @LowStackTom I feel you on this bro. But please don't think everyone here is like that, the ones who have guns are usually obnoxious assholes, and of course those are the only people who make their voice be heard. I hate trying to explain this to all my friends who aren't from here.

  • @LowStackTom i dont remember taking part in this survey so kindly dont speak for me.

  • @LowStackTom

    Yeah, most of you Europenas don't understand the whole "gun" thing... you're all too concerned with football, techno music, and pubs to care about things like individual rights and freedom. That's why Germany pretty much stomped your asses in the 30's and 40's. You're too used to taking it up the ass from kings, queens, and monarchs.

  • @TheDaedalEVE You should probably check out the proportions of Americans and Europeans killed each year by guns, and then reconsider your assertion that the freedom to carry a gun is a freedom worth having.

  • @MeOnStuff

    If that's your logic, then we should get rid of cars.

    2005 US Statistics:

    30,000 killed by guns (18,000 of which were suicides), and this number doesn't account for how many of those deaths were by law enforcement. However guns were reportedly used in self defense 400,000 times.

    Car accidents account for 300,000 deaths a year, and medical mistakes account for 44,000-100,000 per year.

    So yeah, I've seen the numbers. Looks like you're the one who needs to rethink their P.O.V.

  • @TheDaedalEVE Point me to exactly where in my comment I mentioned that cars were safe?

    Cars are far more necessary to most people in modern society than guns are. If no civilians were armed, then no civilians would need to carry guns in self defence.

    Something causing deaths doesn't automatically mean that it should be banned, but we should always see if there is a viable alternative (i.e. banning civilian gun ownership where it is not essential e.g. for their job).

  • @MeOnStuff

    You didn't say a thing about cars. You said "guns are bad, grrrr". So I showed you how guns AREN'T so bad... and how something that is seen as completely normal and acceptable by all people (using a car) can be FAR more dangerous and in FACT far more deadly.

    "If no civilians were armed, then no civilians would need to carry guns in self defence."

    You honestly think that's true? You think THAT'S why we have a second amendment? LOL.

    You're so clueless.

  • @TheDaedalEVE In a lot of european countries, guns are very rare. The result: the bad guys don't need guns, knifes are inoff..

    Of course, you could say, if everybody had a gun, they would be safer from the bad guys. The result: the bad guys need guns for every little thing. And when something goes bad, the damage is alot higher.

  • @argh523

    Mostly guns are just "rare" in England, Whales, and Scotland. Plenty of other places like Serbia, Finland, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, even France, etc. have PLENTY of guns.

    Hell, even Gandhi thought gun-control was BS:

    "Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest." -- Mahatma Gandhi (An Autobiography OR The story of my experiments with truth, by M.K. Gandhi, p.238)

  • @TheDaedalEVE *Wales.

  • @JandritoBlues

    *Whales

  • @Manofaction0 The country -- not the aquatic mammals -- is called Wales.

  • @Manofaction0

    Yeah, I just wanted to be contradictory, just to bug someone.

  • @TheDaedalEVE True, here in switzerland we've got a lot of assault rifles lying around in our houses, like the one in the closet behind me x)

    But I don't count myself as "having a gun", because I didn't buy one, I don't have any ammunition, and furthermore, it's actually illegal to use it for anything (even just carry it around) except in some very specific cases.

    And that's true for most people here. It's just a few kilos of metal that you shuldn't let corrode.

  • @argh523 Because of this, burglars won't carry guns with them because they fear all those assault rifles. They just don't count. And the people who actually buy guns and have ammunition are few.

    That's my point. If you're a burglar in a country where lot's of people have guns, you'll bring a gun. If there's someone at home / wakes up / whatever, you might shoot them if they take you by surprise. If people don't have guns, they might find a big knife to scare people to be inoff.

    Statistics agree

  • @argh523

    Wow, people in Switzerland actually do get to keep their service rifles after returning home? I read somewhere every drafted serviceman, upon finishing service, is given the rifle they served with as their personal rifle, albeit with restrictions on using it ofcourse...

    Would be cool if this was done in more places than just Switzerland. Of course, it'd require some sort of arduous screening process to sort out the sensible citizens from maniacs who jump on the first riot bandwagon...

  • @Kevooi I highly doubt that a riot in a country as patriotic and heavily armed as switzerland would actually work.

  • @SexyFish660

    Not talking about Switzerland. I meant any other country, should they somehow, sometime/whenever adopt the same regulations for servicemen being given ownership of their rifles.

  • @Kevooi Just to make shure you're not getting the wrong picture here: Everybody (in theory) has to serve in the army (that makes the swiss army one of the biggest on the planet, at least in soldier per citizen ratio). It's half a year of training, and then for about 10 years "repetition courses". During that time you keep the rifle at home.

    "arduous screening process" The service rifle is the weapon of choice for going amok and killing your family..

  • @argh523

    Oh and the whole "someone with a gun can do more damage" thing is nonsense. Yes the potential exists, but rarely does it ever happen. Look at the places "mass shootings" take place. They all happen to be in places where there would be little to no resistance. Places where the one causing the trouble KNOWS no one else is armed.

    The moment the person meets any resistance they typically give up or kill themselves.

    An armed society is a polite society for a very good reason.

  • @TheDaedalEVE "someone with a gun can do more damage" thing is nonsense

    It's sounds to me like bicycle and car crashes inflict equal damage.

    It doesn't matter if you scare someone with a gun or a knife. On the other hand, if the one who you want to scare has a gun, you might want to be faster than him. Also, it isn't as easy to kill someone with a knife. So, against unarmed people, you're probably gonna inflict less damage with a knife than with a firearm (if your goal is to repend an attack)

  • @argh523 An armed society is a polite society for a very good reason.

    So, the USA is a very polite society? You think it's safer to live in an US city than in an wester european one? Honest?

    Again, the statistics don't seem to agree with you.

  • @MeOnStuff

    Take a history class some time. I mean a real one, in a college. Do some research on what happens in societies where the citizenry are subject to despotism.

    Learn about human psychology and social behavior. Learn about what happens to a nation when the people are unable to defend themselves from the will of their leaders.

    It's not just about defending yourselves from other civilians, it's about defending yourself from your own government as well.

  • @LowStackTom Extreme gun proponents are a SMALL minority in America.

  • @LowStackTom I'm sorry to hear you believe stereotypes.

  • @CasualVader so do at least another 139 people on YT. and i could bet they are not even all europeans ...

    and how do YOU think about Italy/berlusconi ? or ahmadinedshad/iran, russia/putin, greece/worldbank, japan/eating dolphins, mexico/ imigrantlaw, usa/ afghanistan... ?

    i bet U believe in some stereo types as well, because there is always (at least) a little bit of truth behind them fairy-tales.

    well, except conspiracies of 9/11, moonlanding, free masons, s. palin, bush, ... if u chose so.

  • @LowStackTom That... makes me sad.

  • @LowStackTom And this video depicts how Europe appears to America:

    /watch?v=etljQLaGyiM

    :p

  • @l337pwnage lol, ok, watched it.

    I didn´t say I wished for a AK-47 myself at times ... ;)

  • 0:37

  • "We will be prepared for any contingency, including the possibility that Breyer kills himself with a shotgun in his bedroom before his illness claims his life." - Barack Obama

    1:57

  • So... was this a satire or was it for real?

  • @peplegal32 It's real, onion news is the only non-biased news.

  • Podcasting isn't really a job??? :(

  • I haven't seen the Onion in a while. Is Andrea Bennett still around?

  • This new law was just made to catch the NRA and gun owners off guard. As soon as Obama is reelected in 2012, only Muslims will be allowed to own weapons, and everyone else won't even be allowed to have water guns. Wake up people!!! Bachmann/Palin 2012: It's what the Mayans predicted.

  • @CarnegieFelon

    *Holding gun at face level*

    Yeah man I think you're totally onto something!

  • LOL, the right to stagger down the street with a gun would be AWESOME.

  • Brooke is so hot! :)

  • Whenever I read a title of an Onion video I immediately start laughing these days.

  • The Onion is so fucking funny.

  • 5 hour energy makes your balls smaller. Fact

  • @justonemorename Finally a sensible comment on here.

  • Don't give the NRA any ideas...

  • @mrx0066600

    If you've ever HELD a firearms before, you'd realize how impractical it would be to walk around like that all day. That's why it's funny.

    But OMG, you gun grabbers would shit yourselves if something like this really did happen.

  • @TheDaedalEVE

    Gun grabbers... yeah... you know me and my gun so well... douche.

  • @mrx0066600

    Douche? Excuse me? You need to learn respect for women.

    P.S. "gun grabbers" are people who support "gun control"... ie: disarming law abiding citizens, Not people who own firearms. IE: no one was insulting you... so get over yourself you ass.

  • @TheDaedalEVE

    first off, no one has my respect man or woman until they earn it.

    You assumed I was a "gun grabber". That's makes you a complete douche bag, regardless if you're a woman or male, you're a douche, Thanks for assuming the shit out of me.

    You get respect when you actually earn it.

  • 1:39 I am the law.

  • The quote on the touch screen at 1:58.... perfect.

  • where do they get all these peoples ... ?

  • I would love to stay connected to Brooke Alvarez.

  • Is it legal to hold a gun gangsta style, or are the wrist-insurance companies still blocking that?

  • Podcasting not a job?!?!!? what madness!!!

  • even fake news is boring now.

  • Dear Onion News,

    Please do something about Occupy Wall Street.

    Thanks.

  • this one wasnt even close to being fun. it didnt even have imagination going for it. it was just stupid.