Bathroom etiquette & premature ejaculation

[KevinKeithLee]

I am not Kevin Lee....Im his neighbor....hogging the compooter...

[KevinKeithLee]

Insidious.....o/o



[KevinKeithLee]

*thumbs up for SEX APPEAL.*

[KevinKeithLee]

oh ho!!! its exactly 7:05PM on a monday for me! *gasps* that IS weird....O.O

[29wilsonrams]

ps tmi

[29wilsonrams]

dear matt can u have a random comtest with a best frind the prize is 100,000,000 inbisable dollers from:the awsome kid

[Brodycubs]

Dear Matt,

I am not a brony but I have to know. Are you a brony?

[UltiAmiso]

Dear Matt,

I love you. Can you do a short song and dance for me? My name is Devin.

Love,

Devin

[Pittsisamazing]

1 dislike. Karen is a cunt.

[jewonabicycle]

Dearest Matt, what instruments can you play whilst riding on a bicycle?

[DylanCornel]

yeah karen...



[xxEmmaBitchxxx]

Dear Matt,

Caan Yoou Tell Us About Yoour First Kiss !!!!!!



[grantorndorff]

Dear Matt,

I'd like to hear more about your attitude towards children, specifically how they should be told to fuck off more often. What are your thoughts?

Grant from the Internet

[Silverbass5]

Dear Matt,

I always watch Sort Your Shit Out while I'm on the toilet(I find the episodes to be the perfect length for a decent trip) so I am literally sorting my shit out as you sort my shit out. Shitception?

Sorry if that was way too much information.

Jack

[AdamGCurtis]

3:19

...

LONG TIME NO SEE MATT...

;D

[PichuLvX]

Dear Matt,

I'm curious to know what you think of the new Youtube layout. Do you actually like it? Or, like the rest of us think it's a pile of crap.

[kiwibinkin]

I wonder how many guys think that their boners have broken the first time they jizz? It's a pretty common story that I hear. Seems like you're not the only one Matt!

[SoulessGaming]

Dear Matt, My definition of tender love is two gay men with hemorrhoids... What's yours?

[LordToulman]

dear matt i have hidden some dead in your room enjoy the hunt also can you recommend any good stock options?

[WrathchildSteven]

Next time you get trashed, vomit all over the toilet seat. That'll teach her.

[boldlibrary5]

Dear Matt,

My imaginary girlfriend and I have been going out for the past few weeks now, but lately, I've been feeling ignored by her. How do I get her attention?

[sp3cialkelly]

Dear Matt

You're fucking awesome. That is all.

Kelly.

[thelucyexperience2p0]

Dear Matt,

I work as a file clerk in a medical records office. After I sort a big medical file, I think about your little theme tune for this show, sometimes mumble it to myself, then plop the sorted record on my superiors desk and always want to say, "I'm Matt Mulholland, and I've just sorted your shit out!"

[ISIJAH]

Dear Deer, I hape rape, but Im attracted to rape in pornos. WTF?!

[yankee1nation101]

Dear Matt,

Are the Penis Chorales your outlet of telling the world how much you like dick, or are you just spreading awareness to how fucking awesome penis is?

[SuperPenguinOverlord]

Dear Matt,

I hope someone slips you a strong, fast-acting laxative before you go to bed, then goes and puts your toilet seat up after you've fallen asleep. This might put things in perspective for you.

[sharingroove]

Matt,

Are you a tits or an ass man?

[MrCupron]

Sleep paralysis?

[benkalem]

I was disappointed. I watch you for your sex appeal.

[oOFranCescA2080oO]

Dear Matt, the scary things you see when you are in the state between wake up and sleep it's because of the hypnagogia... Very creepy stuff

[CardinalDamon]

Also there's a related video called how to avoid premature ejaculation, so.. That one's for you

[CardinalDamon]

EVERY DAY! "Oh my god, that's like.. thousands of days!"

For a week! "Oh. Well cool. 7 videos will be awesome."

A work week. "Oh. Only 5. Okay."

If I don't do it, don't complain. "Le sigh."

[NarutoAchievements]

DEAR MATT,

DOES IT ANNOY YOU IF I TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS OR NOT?

- MIKE

[NarutoAchievements]

Dear Matt,

Why won't you grow your hair long anymore?

- Mike

[Vanduffelo]

Dear Matt,

I am french and I don't always understand all that you say.

Could you subtitle your videos? Or even better : could you speak French in one of your videos?

Vandufello

[gamerfr33ak]

dear matt

can you explain to me how to sort my shit (fecal matter) and what categories i should put them in?

[saimsuguy]

I just ate a grape and I

JIZZED

IN

MY

PANTS

[pwnageking247]

Dear Matt,

Do you watch Handegg? Giants or Patriots?

Spankingly yours, Scott

[SaxonSpooner]

oh matt whats happened to you... you have become so angry in the last couple of videos.

ps you also look tired all the time, get some sleep.

[Baxtification]

Dear Matt,

Hamilton? Your thoughts please,



[Aristeo509]

Do you write what you're gonna say before-hand, or just wing it?

[NDawgHoyt]

My school choir is going to Disneyland this year too! :)

Was the ride you were talking about the Maliboomer?

[TheCrunchifiedOne]

Matt, how can I get my hair as curly as yours?

[napalm450]

Dear Matt,

what does getting to second or third base means? Is it related to Baseball? What are your advices?

[pockeo]

Dear Matt, can i be your number 1 fan?

[PaddedWhiteRoom]

Dear Matt,



[np101np101]

fuck thats weird

[PyroSephiroth120]

I'm not sure if it was a motion master or not, but there was this Honey I Shrunk the Kids 3D thing in a big movie theater where the seats would move and they would shoot out little pellets that acted like mice. Anyway! When you're a 12 year old kid, TERRIFIED, of snakes and boa constrictor 10 times the size of a normal one comes at you with mouth agape and so detailed that you could see to its asshole, you shit bricks.

[trombonepenguin]

@douberuneimu Men have to sit on the toilet sometimes too. Even at 3am. You never seem to hear us complaining that we fell in because the toilet seat was up. That's becuase we have the good sense to look first before we stick our bare ass onto something. What if you were bitten by a snake in the toilet because you didn't think to look first? It happens in real life, and it's no mans fault. You better start looking pre-squat or else your butt will turn into cobra meat one day.

[TyneFan09]

Dear Matt,

I was wondering, what's your view on ACTA? Just Curious :)

Thanks for your Time :D

[douberuneimu]

"Oh! You didn't put the toilet seat down! That's such a man thing to do!"

Clearly you've never stumbled into the bathroom at 3 o'clock in the morning, went to sit down on the seat, and fell into the toilet bowl. Because a man left the seat up.

[halfcelestialelf]

Dear Matt In all honesty I have "Liked" this girl in my class at 6th form the the best part of 6 or 7 months and we get of really well and have done for a few years .

Unfortunately i am too shy to ask her out as i don't know what to say as i have never had a girlfriend before and I am deathly scared of rejection as it hurt so much when I was rejected by another person April last year, and personally I don't to spend another few months of my life crying myself to sleep at night

many thanks

Mat

[pockeo]

@halfcelestialelf Dear dude, if you don't try asking her out then you wont get anywhere with her, sure if you get rejected it hurts but you just gotta go on and find someone better, my girlfriend said to me don't dream something that could be reality, Good luck.

[supa1dupa2rupa]

dear matt

how old are you?

[JulieOfSuburbia]

Dear Matt,

Which country have you always wanted to visit?

Sins eerily,

Julie

[dannynowak38]

Matt, please, please do the cinnamon challenge!! If you can do Nyan Cat for 53 minutes, surely you can eat some cinnamon!! Please!!!

[abahamaca]

Man enters the room, toilet sit is down, the man has to lift it up and then has to put it back down? Just put the same amount of effort the man did and put it down yourself!

[ChocolateRain68]

Dear Matt,

What's your zombie plan?

[Josper128]

That was a fuckin' spectacular episode indeed! :D

[robsta115Films]

Dear Matt, Im already halfway through my first year at college and am finding it hard to fit in with most of my classmates, im not that much of an interesting guy and I'm nearly always deep in thought. Therefore i dont really engage in conversations.. Can you offer me some advice or tips on starting conversations and making new friends?

Thanks

[kaz3kag3gaara]

I do watch this for the sex appeal, but I like the whole candid, unprepared, just-had-sex look you had in this video. A nice change of pace.

[gigasteam]

Dear herr Matt,

if you could have any part of your body as detachable and re-attacheble what would it be? i would pick my left arm, that way i could hold it in my right arm and reach high up things (like frissbies and kittens and other shit that dont pay the bills) and i could use it as a fist club weapon that can give bad guys the finger. also are scientists working on this?

[synock2006]

Hot hothot hooot !

[laur1813laur]

lol,,,when you said party, it sounded like potty, but it fit the situation! lol...

[3r1cw00dw4rd]

I got a boner, you got a boner?

Sincerely eric

[Roffeskanal]

Dear Matt, these arent as funny when you dont use the cutscenes like "Toilet shit" and such

[Ceevro]

Dear Matt:

You obviously have some musical training. Can you tell us what's on your musical resume?

[dorkduchessdebbie]

Gotta agree with you, I loooove roller coasters and rides, but I've tried about 4 or 5 times to like that one that goes straight up and down and have ultimately decided that it just sucks. It's absolutely terrifying, not fun at all, and is the only ride that I can feel my stomach churning the second I get near the line for.

[dorkduchessdebbie]

I don't really have an issue with the toilet seat cause as you said my arms work as well as the next gal's, but usually I think it's a better practice to just have the lid down in between uses to begin with, for sanitation reasons, to prevent things from falling into it, and for me to keep my pets the heck out of it. Plus, that eliminates the who gets to do what argument because then everyone has to do the same amount of work when they come and go.

[Tilweseetheshore]

Dear Matt,

I want to know if I am a good singer. How can I tell?

From,

Karen

[Tilweseetheshore]

Dear Matt,

Lol, the problem I have with the toilet seat being up is that sometimes there will be pee stains on the seat and I would much not rather touch it to put it down.

From,

Karen

[Gaarulf]

Dear Matt, my shoes got soaking wet today when I was leaving the house. After walking a few minutes I said fuck it and went back home. There i found my father fingering my sister on the couch while listening to ABBA.

I was completely and utterly shocked as you might imagine.

What's the best way to dry my shoes?

[rapljwop]

I want EVERY woman in the WORLD to listen to your answer on toilet seats! You fucking rock!

[Pie42795]

Dear Matt;

Do you like waffles?

[serpent08n]

dear Matt,

I wish to get drunk but alcohol is not allowed in my geographical location I have been thinking of turning to industrial solvents but I'm not sure if that is a good idea. do you have any recommendations?

[TheCaptainSquiggles]

so like. all the related videos are cures for premature ejaculation. ew.

[ThomasakaDes]

Totally agree with you on the first part.

Girls that start arguement over that stuff are so retarded.

[lastxp]

Dear Matt,

Thanks for sorting my shit out.

[TheMrGhostlore]

I get sad when there is no Viewer Comment of the Week =(

[Drumsinstopmotion]

Dear Matt,

I think you need to work on your stamina. Until you do you're a twatwaffel.

[JormaHonka]

Remember people... FUCK ACTA!

[masterofxdk]

Dear Matt.

What is a black hole? and can I make one myself?

[marc46o]

Honest and amusing.

[IzzySweet666]

Dear Matt,

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

[saimsuguy]

@IzzySweet666

Caught in a landslide

No escape from reality

Couldn't resist.

[shagbolt]

Dear shit sorter,

I have a 2 and a half hour class at university, and it is really boring. What is the best way to pass the time in this class?

[SuperShittyWok]

Dear Matt,

Why does someone need to tell young kids to fuck off?

Thankyou

SuperShittyWok

[Wajeeba]

Dear Matt

My friend and I get into fisticuffs every now and then as part of getting fit. Do you have any hints on how to beat him next time we fight? Besides fuck him up, I mean

[GunnarDono]

Dear Matt,

What kind of musical training have you taken and how do you use your falsetto(do you sing inwards/outwards)?

Also, how did you get so much sex appeal?

[MoronDude]

Dear Matt?

Have you ever ejaculated onto an egg in hopes of fertilizing it and creating a chicken/human hybrid?

[Chin3seDragon]

@MoronDude You are fucking crazy...that will never work...why the hell on earth would you even try that? Are you fucking stupid? You can't fertilize it without penetrating the egg before you ejaculate, or better yet penetrate the Hen, think next time you post a reply dumbass!

[Garrabutartulo1]

a video everyday!! Wow!! Mulholland overdose! fuck yeah!

[JohnnyDystar]

Dear Matt,

What's new, Pussy Cat?

Much love...

[Pantstrovich]

I watch you for your sex appeal. :)

[iamantony1]

4:08 with subtitles on: My bisexual sex test started crying.

[MrShadowdeth]

Dear Matt

I live in Christchurch and for some reason my house keeps shaking like it's just had a dream where it was falling and is now freaking the fuck out. Do you know how I can comfort my house and show it that everything is alright?

Thanks

[vatokiss]

What i dont get about to toilet seat thing is this . We (men) cant just pee with the seat down because then pee gets on the underside of the seat (nasty) so why do we have to put the seat up, pee then put the seat down..touching the seat twice so women dont have to ? fuck that

[TheGyroninja]

Dear Matt, I've recently caught myself thinking in old english. What should i do?

[SupremeChickenx]

Dear Matt,

But who was phone?

[PsychoGabriel33]

Dear Matt, Who is your favourite Pony in My Little Pony: Friendship is magic?

Sincerely, Gabriel.

[MrSlingdad]

KAREN GO FUCK YOURSELF I HATE GIRLS THAT SAY THAT!

[Har0x]

3 minutes? Fuck, you're a legend. I can barely last 1.

[ilovehotfries333]

Dear Matt.

You're awesome and I like pie..

Do you like pie?

Sincerely,

Winter

[Burori1]

Broken penis is horrible D:

Dear Matt,

I am an anti-social guy when I go outside the house, but am very social when I am on the internet. How do I get social outside, without getting all nervous and lose my shit?!

[joshrocks11]

Dear Matt,

My friend is Portuguese, plays guitar, and sings. How much pussy do you think he would get in college. 

[ToasterRehab]

I'm deathly afraid of cotton balls and velvet. The texture just freaks me out. I don't tell many friends though because they usually end up chasing me around with them because they think it's funny.

[mattmulholland26]

@ToasterRehab I'm not afraid of them but I agree that the texture is fucked up. Nothing should feel so... Velvety...

[FatalNova]

Pre-Video reaction: "The fuck are these videos about premature ejaculation doing in the sidebar?"

[ToasterRehab]

I'm a guy and I always put the toilet seat AND lid down. Whenever you flush the toilet, thousands of droplets of fecal matter fly all over the room, and I think that's kinda gross. Hand washing though? Naaa

[GlobalParasit]

wtf where is the comment of the week? why is it missing this time?

[kmlpredator90]

4 am lol

[smartbrute1]

WHOA. I watched this at 12:40 AM on a Friday...if only I had watched it an hour and 40 minutes earlier, it would have been the same time here that it was there when you filmed this video...TIMEZONECEPTION

[squip882000]

Rainbows end Motion Master...Such a crappy experience!

[getitsorted26]

@squip882000 the worst...

[xomey]

@getitsorted26 dear matt

schools coming up and theres a person in my class who's a retarded loser with high nuts and no friends. he's a dick, any ideas on how to EXTERMINATE ;) him from our school

[Messoppolis]

Plus its easy to forget to put the toilet seat down but they obviously arent going to forget since they need it down.

[TheThirdGerman]

Friday morning, 9 a.m. What better way to start the day than 7:42 minutes of hilarity.

Hahaha

[musicalaviator]

Toilet seat down... and the cover down. All down. Shut. No water in sight down. Then you can accuse THEM of leaving the toilet seat (cover) up and pwn them to sexual inequality hypocracy.

[Rudedude159]

under 100 club :D

[LunarVlog]

Wait but I'm in my bedroom watching this on a Thursday night at 11 pm. Time zones are weird