100 Things Every Man Needs to Know - Tim Wilson

[barrygioportmorien1]

It's all to true.

[rjdubjr]

Great job!

[Gaelmerican87]

lol hilarious



[flash2042]

the asses and elbows picture...wow. i couldnt stop laughing!

[uofmrules1]

This was the first song I ever heard from him. Awesome song!

[Cajek2]

Never say, "What's the worst that can happen?"

[Barragg]

If I can take your woman she aint worth having.

[iiiquaziii]

This is an awesome song. I'd like to see a few more added and it get longer!

[quoarebrill]

Im from the Uk, but spent time in the US of A this guy is one of the funniest comedians Ive ever seen/heard

[marieuk01]

Brill just discovered him too - love him in the UK x

[Honey88Koonce]

I only rcently discovered this comedian but I'd LOVE to meet him n he talks like my pop! He fkn rocks! X)

[matt180497]

tities are better seen not covered.

after marriage, sex sucks

and if grandma sounds like she is in the bathroom, don't go in

[jman5431]

Yea. Anyone else think thats a mustang and not a z-28 at 0:21???

[blah666ful]

@jman5431 it is a mustang. 94-I think 98 svt cobra to be somewhat exact.

[Zappygunshot]

When something's moving fast better stay out of its way

What's looking good at night might be different during day

Don't ever pee on an electric fence

Don't make fun of a guy in a Benz

Keep your hands out of someone else's cookie jar

And I forgot right now what the other things are

[RisenDevilz]

No matter where ya go... there ya are...

Whether ya walked, rode a bike or drove a damned car.

Some things in life ain't meant to be known

and if ya got half a wit ya better leave 'em alone.

If ya don't like it don't lick it...Just leave it be.

If it leaves ya with a bad taste don't come cryin' to me.

boy that just popped rite out there. lol

[yankeepedaler]

The guy at 1:37 is Bandini from "One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest".

[743magma]

rent is to dame high

[stonerman4622]

laddy gagas relly a man

gas is over priced

bud is beter then miller

[stonerman4622]

jeff grdons gay

[isaackhrino]

If she's black don't get exited

[someone2121996]

Don't ever listen to Justin Bieber

[acesandeights65]

dont ever stick your dick in a vacum cleaner

[madmattyxd]

dont do somthing you know karma will do back to you

[JerichoDitch2]

when she says " we need to talk" ... get a lawyer

To a woman there are only 3 men in the world : their father, the man they plan to marry, and everybody else

no matter what your mother says, you arent special

99.999999% of the world is indifferent to whether you live or die, but its nothing personal

call every bluff

never stick your tongue out at karma, she's a harsh mistress

you never gain someone's respect by kissing their ass

[FirstAidSkateGroup]

If your going to do something stupid never look at your friends and say 'hey yall watch this.'

[batmankillsu89]

True man true LOL

[nashvillediva1983]

If you go looking for trouble, you'll find it.

Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.

Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you should!

There are NO fresh shrimp in Las Vegas, stop asking!

[1manwalkingfreakshow]

Here's 8 more things:

If your date treats the waiter bad, she'll treat you worse

You'll never see a luggage rack on a hearse

A good plan now beats a perfect one that's too late

What some folks call sushi, other folks call bait

That new car or PC will be old in four years

Only earplugs and your elbows go inside your ears

Early birds gets the worm, and in case you ain't heard,

Late worms don't get nuthin' but the bird.

[radium162]

@1manwalkingfreakshow lmao

[ThePapa1620]

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!

[strobes60]

words to live by

[redgreen1990]

got to love tim wilson

[ShyteKreek46]

When your baby pees in the floor, don't rub his nose in it.

The words, "Hey, y'all, watch this" may just be your last...

...especially if it follows the phrase, "Hold my beer."

Turn off the ceiling fan before using a ladder in the living room.

A stack of beer cans is not the best substitute for a table leg.

If you are missing any toes, stop using bolt cutters as nail clippers.

[FirstAidSkateGroup]

If your walking in the moutains and you hear a banjo playing, start running.

[ZipTumbleFast]

@FirstAidSkateGroup Okay, now that's dang funny. lol



[matt180497]

@ZipTumbleFast ah Deliverance the best

[thebimshow]

Yeah, he did.

[lightyourworld22]

Never trust anything that talks if you can't see where it keeps its brain?

[TheWestbrooke]

If you're going date two women make sure they have the same name.

[nedphoenix]

Never hold a cat in one arm and a working vacuum cleaner in the other arm.



[PossessedDonutz]

dont trust what bleeds for 5 days and dont die

[IEJP]

brown and bass aint seafood?

[burrusfilms]

@IEJP brim and bass, its another kind of fish

[IEJP]

@burrusfilms oh "brim"

now it makes sense thanks!

[BigDogJoe315]

0:44 words to live by "you loot we shoot"

[stealthyshooter]

LMAO cool song!

[randyontoo56]

never cook bacon with ur shirt off, it could kill

[TheShoobre]

Who's that on 0:19?

[ZachCremins69]

This Video Makes ME Hate BACON 1:14

[12USHtoMUCH]

You can't eat your ear with no arms lol

[Noldi400]

If it's got tits or tires it'll give you trouble.

[GRude420]

My old man told me.. 'fore he left this shitty world. Never chase buses or women. You always get left behind.

[28hogfan]

My dad used to give this piece of advise to his Boy Scout troop. Use common sense. If you scratch your ass, dont smell your finger !!

[MrCluckingchicken]

Lol "No he didn't." It's not wrong until you the publishers notate your own work different.

[Aloradelyda]

the 2 highest rated comments are samefagging

[smaugmik]

Look at her mama first....

[Flew52]

The first pic will give me nightmares.

[megaREfan]

never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesnt die 

[Anarric]

@megaREfan, never been with a woman uh? 7 days, dont trust anything that bleeds for SEVEN days and doesnt die

[megaREfan]

@Anarric i've been with a woman. if it bleeds for 5 days don't trust it. but if it bleeds for 7 day time to lock yourself in the basement.

[megaREfan]

I suddenly want bacon now

[camarorider67]

Uncle BS's last words.

[meucunt1]

We aren't shallow, you're just ugly.

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

[dwdonwaddell]

@meucunt1 YOU ARE THE MAN

[mroneoftheguys]

Never eat the yellow snow............

[red30aught6]

don't pee into the wind!

[MRSilentNinja1]

first dude is scary. lol

[damaldazzar]

never eat green butter

[TheOnlyexisting]

@damaldazzar what if its bud butter

[damaldazzar]

@TheOnlyexisting yeah, but then again, what if its not

[angelsong3000]

Hilarious. lol

[TheRABIDdude]

@die4heavymetal, damn it i h8 to hav 2 be the one to explain the joke, but wat he means by "if u've been married 9 times, hell maybe its u!" is that if u've been divorced over n over again then its starts to get obvious tht its u thts the problem.

But yh tht is definately the funniest line of all XD

[HarleyGenesis]

I think I jumped at 0:09

[DrShaym]

1:13, now I'm hungry.

[Tubetopfan1]

At your great aunts funeral, when you smell a fart, don't shout out "Who died?!!!"

[MrMayhem3k]

@Tubetopfan1 ROFL

[BigDaddyYankee316]

Dont say, hey you'll watch this when drunk

[privatedelta9]

Don't ever play fetch naked with you're dog

Don't ever get a boner at a yoga studio

Don't ever say i do to anything when you're drunk

Don't ever laugh at your boss's funeral

Don't ever bet how many peppers you can eat

Don't ever say it could be worse

[saph2104]

@privatedelta9 Well....it could be worse.

[privatedelta9]

@saph2104 we'll you're fucked then i guess cause it gets a lot worse when ya say that phrase

[saph2104]

@privatedelta9 XD

[privatedelta9]

@saph2104 no serously man i remember this one guy telling me when he was in the navy his friend was bitching that he would do anything to get off this ship as soon as he said that the chain he was sitting on snapped and he fell into the water never did find his body so don't tempt fait now

[MrWeb49]

So very funny. Love it

[oneor2ormore]

the fist pic need to be a z28...not a ford rust thang

[trishcawthra]

You should never eat yellow snow lol

[0990zit]

Don't trust people with a gay gypsy scarf!

[Anaheimfan]

Never put the moves on the boss's daughter...Especially if said boss is in charge of every landfill in the district...They'll never find you.

[leefoll]

if you get married be the ugly one!

[assassinofkings360]

quit fucking chating with coments if u want to tlk find there fucking phone number

[1000299]

that old man scared the hell out of me

[barsixsranch]

I Love how @ 2:16 it says NO HE DIDN'T... I agree! He didn't!

[hank733]

never let someone with an axe in your car

[Engler141]

@hank733 bottle opener

[rzace123]

say ya love her till she puts down the butcher knife!

[davidjtwood]

2 more my dad added to me after i showed him the song:

Make sure the switch off before you

Change the bulb in a light

And always earth a plug

or in you're in for a fright

[novacat1011]

wher can i get the old man pic in the beggining, would b killer avatar

[TheWarDog11]

Tim Wilson is one of the funniest of all time.

[mroneoftheguys]

If she is giving it away for free it rarely is worth it....Easy street never really is...at the great intersection of life...looking at the two ways to go...one is the rough, bumpy, up hill road, and the other easy street all down hill...never take easy street........................­.

[1986timmyb]

never go ass to mouth

[BManning111]

@1986timmyb unless the chick is willing... but i hope a dude never will

[keydet035]

Be careful what you wish for, you'll almost certainly get it.

[eastwood13]

This song is so full of truth!

[computerulmeu]

One man with courage is a majority.

If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed...

When you're arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing.

Never mistake motion for action.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages

[shanpinkone]

@computerulmeu  <3 it!!

[computerulmeu]

never eat anything that died of an unknown cause

always bring a magnifing glass when you go to the bank (for the fine print you know the REALLY fine one)

drinking hot sauce won`t make you spit fire

keep the nitrogen acids away from soaps

don`t ever try to imitate Juliet or Romeo

it takes more than a day to get a tan

you don`t get road-rage if you-the the only one driving a tank

All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others.

[TheCrowAndTheWildcat]

@computerulmeu Love the road-rage one!

[222billp]

A virgin never drives a Z28.......lol

[MisterMountainDew]

Love this bassline.

[kevinskogg]

It is just as easy to marry for money.

[kevinskogg]

Don't dip your pen in the company ink well.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

[falconbasic]

Anyone know where I can find this song on one of his albums?

[cooldaddyjames]

@falconbasic It is on "get your mind right" I think but don't quote me on that.

[DwayneJKing]

Stevie Ray never missed a note!!!

lol

[C1nd35]

never enter an ass kicking contest with a porcupine.

[tpggroup]

Never tell the cops " You're not taking me to jail"

[MrCameltail]

When it says "A virgin don't never drive a Z28" the picture is definitely not a Camaro. Thats a Mustang.

[dirtyface091]

@MrCameltail i bet youre a virgin

[TheKazpro]

@dirtyface091 haha thats funnier than the song

[STRIKER520]

Yup you can see its a mustang cobra .

[Socoolscienceshow]

dont put ur dick in a light socket!

[bmgtweaked]

If it Floats Flies or Fucks... RENT IT!

[btrisha1]

amen

[spruit18]

Never eat yellow snow

[GTM92]

Never fry bacon without a shirt on

[qmeche123]

Never ask a woman you don't know, "When are you due?".

[mroneoftheguys]

Yes Honkie so true...Also never do a girl for the first time until she has had her first period..............

[shnos]

great

[honkie247]

Never screw a girl for the first time until she has had her period. Keeps false paternity suits to a minimum

[mroneoftheguys]

Don't bone what you can't out bench press

[kikaider1987]

aye sir, he did not miss a note.

[TSaxman74]

Don't drink from an open bottle handed to you

Stay away from those kids that were sniffin glue

Your buddy's sister is off limits for that

Never try to give a bath to a cat.

[shanpinkone]

That is great!!!

[19504x4]

Don't bone what you can't benchpress!

[Pwner112]

@19504x4 Lol well I can bench 450 so...

[rwardo0524]

@Pwner112 Lies!

[nannybell]

Ann Coulter has a HUGE adams apple. and it matches her HUGE hands and feet. ewe!

[Iamgandhiful]

girls have adam's apple too, except the angle is smaller.

[MetalGearPhenom]

the bacon bra was badass i know a few ppl id love to see in one of the then eat it off but just keep lickin 2 get all the grease off lol

[timetraveler3797]

"If you marry for look's it just won't last"

"If you don't say sorry you might be an ass"

"Don't pick up girls/guy's from a bar"

"You'll never save money with a credit card"

"Certain guns can't be brought into certain states"

hope that helps...

[metallicaandme90210]

Don't open your mouth if you aren't about ready to raise your fists

[luminusAntic]

Damn straight!!!!!

[ducklfe]

then only thing i have to say its awesome but the opening car is a cobra mustang not a camaro z28

[bamashay]

I am glad you pointed that out because I was about to.

[doughesson]

You were looking at the car and not Danica Patrick?

[ForgottenImages]

Awesome Video!

And stop fighting on YouTube, it looks pathetic.

[metallicaandme90210]

someones got it right

[uhclem]

"A piss without a fart is like a wedding without a ring"

[varsitycheerleader3]

dont EVER let a bald man barrow your comb.

[lije927]

he did died

[camarorider67]

i learned the one bout a hornets nest the hard way

[TaylorOnTheMic]

lmao me 2 cept i learned u dont accidently hit it with a rake

[camarorider67]

haha i also learned not to put m-80s in a nest either

[TaylorOnTheMic]

lol that and shootin roman candles at um will piss um off real bad lol

[chosenbabyfrom1980]

WOW LOL the sign probley dont really mean massage. yeah it means happy ending.

[nopiecenopeace]

That's funny

[Socoolscienceshow]

"If you've been married 9 times, hell maybe its you!" LOL

[ZipTumbleFast]

That's gotta be the best lyric in the song.

[Socoolscienceshow]

That's my fav :)

[Kanoshe]

really Stevie ray Vaughn never missed

[doughesson]

@Kanoshe Prove it.

[Bobadoe]

STEVIE!!!!! You're still the greatest ever!!! But even the best of us screw up.

[irvine1957]

Good job, however i think you misinterpreted a few of the lyrics with the images. Was this done on purpose?

[ZipTumbleFast]

Artistic license. :)

Thanks for watching.

[toadley12]

lol this is so cool its awsome

[Pokefoothottness]

haha lol

[steviebkhall]

Killer!-work on part 2!

[sdawl]

is that a mustang at :21

[6thgirlof6]

Very funny!

[Snoopy0345]

its tru Stevie Ray Vaghan did miss a note or two ive herd him do it

[C1nd35]

blasphamy! :P

[Snoopy0345]

i know...but its sadly tru

[granmaboat]

I enjoyed this

There is always a little truth behind a good joke.

[wiibox3]

Don't block the winning round?

[babyhomer]

Oh my goodness,

My husband and I had a good ole time watching this. Thank you.

[nemocamaro]

the first one "A virgin never drive a z28"

a z28 is a camaro, and there is a picture of a mustang. for shame.