The Chronicles of Chris-Chan: The Incredible Bulk [9/5/09]

[smile221]

Vivian is pretty lucky that she is made from a substance tougher than plywood

[Hyperdemon891]

1:11  O_O

[LisaChuUK]

I can smell his breath through the screen...

He needs a mint.

[DenisFreeman2]

OMG AM I OK?

[mryoshi1221]

OMG IS THAT PAPER OK!? AHHH

[DrewPicklesOgre]

OH GOD IS THE CLOWN OKAY!

[Silverknight171]

manbaby rage

[aahlstrom93]

He's a wrrrreeecking machine!

[LordAzanko]

wow he is so weak can can't snap Popsicle sticks that is really sad....

[inbadcompanyX2]

I had an itch on my penis while watching this, but didn't scratch it, cause I'd feel weird having my hand on my peen during a ChrisChan video...

[Trakheed]

0:40 damn look at him flex those muscles as he breaks 2 sticks AT THE SAME TIME

...well, attempts to

[wkody7]

Bitch please.....

[DrewPicklesOgre]

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE CLOWN DOLL!!!!

[sikokilla1234]

I wonder how many times he hit his fingers when he was cracking those planks together

[Christhefireshark]

Get rid of the MGM lion and replace it with 1:05

[xXEPICSXx92x]

Keep pressing 7 XD XD XD

[sporedoutofmymind]

click on CC, transcribe audio, go to :25: "stop me you have not seen this fail act"

Even Google is trolling Chris now.

[Dorminay42]

...he actually has really nice teeth.

[TwinUzis]

@Dorminay42

If you ignore the visible cavities.

[Dorminay42]

@TwinUzis Yeah, I don't mean health-wise, I just mean they're nicely shaped and spaced.

[XxPromisesBrokenxX]

Hulk smash!

[weds9994]

tard

[RobotwarsKing]

"DON'T MAKE ME CHRIS-CHANGRY"

[DukeNukem2020]

I'd love to stop by Chris Chan's house one day and see how he's doing

[NeonLitGhost]

I can smell the aspergers. Smells like a combination of halitosis, B.O. , DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS, McDonalds, and Axe.

[CyanidePlaceboEffect]

He bit a hat off a clown!

I underestimated his power!

[BlazeFox02]

SHE DID NOT REALIZE THE FURY OF MY WRATH

[sikokilla1234]

Tell me if this sounds plausible:

Chris: VIVIAN GRRRR

Vivian: Chris I'm sorry, and I'm naked right now.

Chris: AAAH MY SWEETHEART ILOVEYOUWITHALLMYHEART

[Keitaro2011]

BITE, POP!

[sonicxbionicle114]

Its funny cause he cant break the wood...

[TranquilFury1993]

VIVIAN GEE, WE COMMIN' FOR YOU, NIGGA!

[TranquilFury1993]

Whatcha gonna do, Vivian Gee, when CWCimania starts screaming JULAY over you?

[SinDawg030]

1:11 JESUS CHRIST ITS A MANCHILD!!! GET IN THE CAR!!!

[KoreaEatCat]

I would totally do that to Vivian. Then say I love her.

[tmanuel44]

I like how he threatened to physically assault a woman over a YouTube video.

[Smashsista16]

@tmanuel44

That will so get him ladies.....NOT!

[00GreyEyedGirl00]

god I can smell his breath :S

[SinDawg030]

Look at those cavities, Goddamn

[NotTooWellKnown]

At 1:18 look at his teeth

[Dumbmajor9696]

Is this serious? Is this guy being serious with me right now?

My God. He's...He's so stupid. Everything about him is so stupid. I just can't do it. I can't troll him, it just feels so redundant...

[LordAzanko]

god damn this guy is weak....you can't even break some Popsicle sticks? damn

[SlashFirestorm]

Whatever you do, don't close your eyes and listen to this video. It sounds distressingly like he's...showing Clyde and Vivian his anger in a very unusual way.

Now let's all play the kill ourselves game.

[theworldisquare]

He just scared the shit out of me, and for all the wrong reasons. 

[XxPromisesBrokenxX]

Aw, shit. It escaped from the zoo again. I am NOT going back to Virginia to catch that beast again. Sorry world.

[TheWarlord900]

I feel sorry for that poor teddy bear.

[AlanSmithee06]

Chris, the fury of your wrath wasn't strong enough to break a balsa wood paint stick. Also, learn to brush your teeth.

[brdr33v3r]

0:51 I wish that was sonichu in his hand.

[brb1006]

Stop stabbing the poor clown Chris. :(

[RabiesBunny]

Wow. Watching this now, it's amazing how relatively well adjusted he was back then.

[CuetheSunshine]

... What just happened.

[Tridd666]

This would be adorable if he was 3.

And not all pudgy faced.

The impotent rage is delicious.

[Se7enHxC]

poor teddy :(

[Armystuntman]

What a waste of paper and wood.

[thefuzz97]

betaasfuck.jpg

[orangeblossom03]

He needs to brush his tongue, because there's FUNGUS growing on it. I almost threw up.

[blockboy5609]

1:00-LOL

[ScarletSnake]

@blockboy5609 HAHAHAH AHAHAAH :D

[XSouthXNightX]

So the plan is, Destroy paper if she/he doesn't take down the account. Attack a stuffed clown with the remaining sticks from the paper banner while his family watches? I am not sure how effective that will be...but hey some white rednecks burned Crosses in people's yards and that seemed effective but too me it just seemed like they didn't like god and wanted people to know. *shrug*

[mythrilmecha]

Assault: What eva

[avenged7x1994]

I asked my brother what he thought about Chris Chan, and he quotes the Tourettes Guy: "HE SOUNDS LIKE CHEWBACCA TAKING A SHIT!"

[AMIIZix]

LOLLLLLLL FURY OF MY WRATHHHHHHH

[KurisaPaffy]

1:06 what is that thing that goes through the screen?

[armhand97]

@KurisaPaffy dust orbs?

[Iemanonymous1]

I can smell his breath through the screen.

OH GOD.

[lovemeordie83]

@Iemanonymous1 OH GOD I smelt it too...

*vomits*

[dunnono00]

1:18

Dental problems...

[retrodude40]

1:11 What happens when an ape finds a camera

[R4z1m]

I think my 1 year old son could break that balsa wood. Fucking pusssy......

[DerMorphy]

"The fury of my wrath"? That doesn't even make sense.

[HomemadeMilkshakes14]

Did anyone notice he sounds like Kermit the Frog?

[MasterboySSBMgod]

Now thats what i call a heartless killer!

Did you saw how he went against that piece of paper?! he showed no mercy!

EVERYONE HIDE!

[TheCaptainLulz]

@MasterboySSBMgod naw, hes WAY too stupid to kill anything. Hed just cut himself and cry for mommy.

[AtomicBlizzard12]

ladies please contain your orgasms

[EnDZYm3]

aspie

[zollopollo2]

Press 1 and 2 for the HAND OF DOOM.

Press 5, 6, 7 to see his Strong and Powerful body.

Press 8 for TARD RAGE.

And finally press 9 to see DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS in the making.

[mariofana]

We can observe here a Wild CWC, as he chases his pray, the fluffy clown

[nintendobros64]

who will win in a fight

Gabe Nowell

or

Chris-Chan

[PURE4WESOME1000]

@nintendobros64 gabe he would just use ep 3 as a weapon

[mariofana]

@nintendobros64 Gabe Newell would win. At least he has created some cool stuff in his life

[mythrilmecha]

@mariofana

[Gaben barges into his room]

Gaben: I'm Gabe Newell

[Crowbars Chris-Chan and T-bags him]

[Chris-Chan shits himself]

[Winner]

Gaben: No, it's just me, Gabe Newell.

[DerMorphy]

1:15 Oh, my God. Go to the dentist!

[Killerthewolfdog]

Who let the lion out of the cage?

[GreyMatter00Duh]

Don't worry, Chris. My laughter is actually a defense mechanism. Because if I don't laugh, I would show how intimidated I truly am by your temper tantrum.

[XXF2XX]

ORANGE SEMEN MOUTH jshsjash

[sekushiiAri]

0:09

''...has gone unheard

or otherwise she did not

REALIZE THE FURY OF MY WRATH''

[Duothimir]

Vivian was supposed to be intimidated by this? Chris, I think she'd be more intimidated by the fact that you appear to have forgotten to swallow your navy than by this video.

[TheSenileFeline]

REALIZE THE FURY OF HIS TRUE AND HONEST WRATH.

[Luigiproductions09]

See, and that's exactly why Chris won't be getting china anytime soon :)

[MikeFuckingHaggar]

0:40 did anyone else see him fail to snap the wood in half?

[Canny911]

@MikeFuckingHaggar I was about to say the exact same thing. That is how weak that pathetic fucker is. He couldn't snap a thin ass piece of wood in half. My little nephew could have broke that thing in half, using just minimal strength. Not to mention, I heard that thing was out in his yard for like a year, so that wood had to have been brittle and rotten as fuck, making it even EASIER to break. I'll say it again, Chris Chan is the most pathetic and horrible human being that's ever existed.

[k90751]

Sad when men have children in their 60's. The misfortune is visited on the next generation.

[AngelofLightX4]

at 1:08 we witness the manchild shitting his pants. XD

and since no one else has gone there, I'll say it for them;

CHRIS SMASH!!

[spellbreakerko]

An Emperor Overlord tank from Command and Conquer: Generals can take care of that idiotic bastard.

[Bonertronica]

He's actually kinda cute. I'd go on a date with him if he asked.

[XGTDaveX]

JESUS, HE JUST DESTROYED THAT SIGN.....HE COULD RIP A FREAKIN TANK APART!

[MahBoi22]

You know, I was in Target today, passing by the toy section. I saw a small child, probably no older than 5, doing the same thing as Chris is doing here (i.e., throwing a temper tantrum and trying to rip open the toy his mommy wouldn't let him have, then proceeding to scream and growl).

Yep. Chris is the equivalent of a small child. Unlike a child, however, Chris's actions can not be excused by "he doesn't know any better".

[TonyBMan]

lol his weak ass couldnt break that popsicle stick.......a ten year old kid could probably kill him, if he wasnt afraid of getting ra3ped that is

[sahanatas]

Click the 1911 button: Achieve lulz

[Lydok]

1:10 LOL

[abtsadiemaekole]

Wow... Are you kidding?? This is why you must always monitor your childrens' Internet access closely

[Germeka]

IT'S A TANK!

[FFS1NICO]

threatens to beat up a woman. gent as allways i see. vivian rocks.

[Weazley117]

0:59 The cry of the CHRIS-CHAN when he becomes erect after ingesting a clown hat

[TonyBMan]

my god, chris-chan must have made imperfect contact with the Zohar...his mind must have been fractured beyond imagination, but it left him with indescribable power, just look at how he shredded that sign?

TL;DR Xenogears

[claven666]

Kid, you can't even break two paint sticks. What you need to do is throw away all of your idiotic toys, get rid of your idiotic obsession with your shittily drawn comic and hit the gym every day for a year. You can thank me later when two fine honeys are gobbling your knob.

[FFS1NICO]

viv pissed herself- FACT.

[hempartist420]

one of my favorites, simply because it does a good job illustrating the futility of his existence

[CalicoVall]

@hempartist420 My tax dollars pay for this? T_T

[hempartist420]

@CalicoVall yes, this is your tax money in action. but to be fair he has provided us with classics like these and lulz for everyone... he has ruined fanta for a lot of people however

[CalicoVall]

@hempartist420 O_O WHAT!? That's sacreligious!!!! HE WILL PAY!!!!! *goes ape-shit*

[hempartist420]

@kingcollie I'm sorry, did you fucking stalk me via Youtube? and then tell ME to get a life? grow a prick you little felcher, and stop boasting about being born in Canada, I'm sure that took a lot of work on your part ; ) congratulations on being cold though... and did you say you paid for weed? lawls

[kingcollie]

@hempartist420 No need for apologies my friend, if you wanted to suck shit outta my ass you could've just asked. I'm guessing your a 12 year old girl due to your overuse/ use in general of the word "lawls" ahahah oh man. I never tell anyone to get a life so i'd like to see were you got that from. And if you consider stalking as clicking on your channel than yes, I "stalked you". ya daft cunt xoxoxoxo

[hempartist420]

@kingcollie oh that will be all, you can go now...

[kingcollie]

@hempartist420 You know what, I'm gonna digress from this. You seem like a smart character and the whole initial start of this was because I thought you were one of them pointlessly racist faggots. clearly you're not so we really have no need to argue I'll apologize for acting like a dick. I misunderstood your intention there and acted like a cunt. sorry bro.

[hempartist420]

@kingcollie agreed, I could also work on my sarcastic remarks, no hard feelings though... peace

[kingcollie]

@hempartist420 yea man cools cool. gives me a little hope for humanity. And I need to work on my jumping the gun. peace out. 

[kingcollie]

@hempartist420 Plus I also mixed you up with some religious nutter. Apologies all around, cheers!

[TheLastSamurai14]

...Rawr...

[videogamenostalgia]

Imagine being Bob or Barbara and hearing this shit 24/7. "Listen Barb, the boy's tard ragin' again. Imma go get my axe"

[Shavarnarak]

@videogamenostalgia

That or Barb says;

'Ah shore aint gunna wash his pants AGIN!'

[KiraShikaku]

@videogamenostalgia The 1st 50 times would be funny.

The rest I would probably kill someone just to go to jail and have some peace and quiet.

[Boshi0]

Is it me or does 1:11 onwards remind anyone of in those horror films when the woman's hiding in a locker with the creature looking in from outside?

[Yamibooze]

OH MY GOD HE KILLED A PIECE OF CARD!!!!

[cloudzack1090]

lmao....i wil always love theses videos

[ArgonSpyder]

In this video Chris-chan goes about his daily routine.

[RobotwarsKing]

"She did not realise the FURY OF MY WRAP"

[Athils]

So... he'll rip up her stupid bullshit?

[Colddirector]

Everyone who's viewing this video, don't look now, but Chris is standing right behind you.

[dylan697]

think he just had an orgasm on that last bit

[sharinganmoosex]

CLOWN NO!

[OneBadRudeBoy]

haha he just bit the head of that doll ....epic

[NeoSquadillah]

the only time chris wanted to kill a pretty girl. 

[Holycrudaflyingcow12]

1:10 OH GOD PLEASE GET IT OFF ME GET IT OF- oh wait, thank god, it's just on the computer. It can't hurt me, it can't hurt me, it can't hurt me...

*turns around to make sure*

[o0gman0o]

1:01 - THE CHRIS CHAN....IT MUST FEED!

[RainingMetal]

Showing his fangs really does work!

[TAXEXEMPTION]

usually when chris shows interest in a girl, the girl runs away, so he should've tried hitting on vivian and she'd probably have gone byebye.

[TheDazro]

HIS SALIVA IS GREEN!!!!! <:O

[GunsOfThePhoenix]

FIGHT THE RAGE

[SergeantLuke]

I will admit, he did scare me at the end. Even though there's no way he could harm me in any way, shape or form.

[TheMetalMeltdown]

is he mad?

[AZJamie1]

@TheMetalMeltdown No, he's just confused. Give him some horse tranquilizers and this whole thing will blow over.

[LelouchViBritannia1]

Why did he put hearts all over the Encyclopedia Dramatica sign? Does he have some love hate relationship with Jimmy Hill?

[BackgroundBailey]

After seeing that doll get stabbed, I officially want a Toy Story-esque cartoon based on the toys of Chris-chan; imagine the stories they could tell.

[empororofultra34]

@BackgroundBailey It be like one of those Holocaust diaries.

[DarthMatt28]

@BackgroundBailey Hmm I imagine his assistant Kimmi would have QUITE a story to tell

[LordAzanko]

@BackgroundBailey you mean the horror strewn stories of him violating each and everyone of them or him doing other things?...now that would be scary

[hempartist420]

@BackgroundBailey I'm sure it would end with the doll choking Chris to death with his sonichu medal

[TheSkunkCat]

@BackgroundBailey

I think his plush boobs should have a male voiceactor.

[TAXEXEMPTION]

god dammit i still pity that stuffed clown.

[Deepblue686]

That jump-cut at 1:11 nearly resulted in dirty, crapped briefs.

[TheAznAlwaysMatching]

i wonder if this was in 3-d

[Kingofeurope]

I'm really glad that smell doesn't carry over through videos. If so, every Chris-chan vid would cause you to suffocate.

[HaloSpartanG13]

@Kingofeurope You can imangine it though with the green tint of every video.

[DerMorphy]

@Kingofeurope

Hehe, not me, I have anosmia, I was born without a sense of smell :D

[TheLordOfTheSporks]

One of my favorite CWC videos of all time.

[dxjrules5]

I gotta have more cowbell

[TheSilentWyvern]

Murder is imminent.

[TheChaoticGood]

1:11 *sudden facial close-up* GAAAAAH WHAT THE FUCK?

[DaniellaSerypha]

Um... why is that sign wet? and dirty? and why does he has a heart on it? did he had sex with that thing?? o_O

[VegetarianLyfe]

So you're going to rip a woman in half?

Can't let you do that StarChris

[speedybastard2]

u mad?

[tw1stedgrudge]

"Stop me if you have not seen THIS before!*

*Chris then proceeds to raise a sign with THREE handles, despite only having two hands.*

Nope, I have to say, I've NEVER seen that before, dude.

[KrazyKacophony]

Jesus.. what the fuck did he have in his mouth!?

[GunsOfThePhoenix]

@KrazyKacophony those are the filling from all his cavities, from all the soda he drinks its enough to fill three 55 gallon oil drums per month.

[Dominub]

"MEEEOWWW!!!!!"

[linkweather]

WTF was on that paper? Did he wipe his ass on it or is it the crappy piss yellow lighting?

[RedGrobo]

Where have you been all my life!!!!!!!!! :D

[MahajiHaji]

DEAR JESUS FUCK HE KILLED MISTER MIMECLOWN