Kochie's controversial Joke Of The Day 4-12-2006

[AznS0ulja]

for all of you who dont know anything about politics, its actually a good joke, no racism in it you gronks >.>

[sampson152]

That was a good joke, then Koshie told it..

[Starwithnoname]

I recently saw "Kochie's Book of Jokes" in a bookshop. I'm assuming its pages were blank. Telling jokes requires some skill in timing, intonation and material - how this cock head ever got on TV is astonishing.

[chickensw]

jesus, listening to him tell a joke is like pulling fucking teeth...

[AussieTheOztralian]

Kochie is a douche bag with high pitch girls voice when he gets excited.

[kaititiro]

booooooooooring

[VectorOmega]

And coming soon to Seven and 7Mate: Sunrise Animated! Now see Australia's favorite morning show in American anime like style, with Kochie, Mel, Natalie and more. Now with the new Sunrise Cash Neko!

[SoZettaSl0w]

@VectorOmega

"American anime like style"

[killaproductz]

Koshie is a fuckwit! When he speaks i just wanna piss on him! ,He stole the joke from his autobiography, and re wrote it about johnny the dooshbag howard! Fuck both of them with janettes fist

[DestinysNinja]

Am I missing the racist part of this joke?

[Rohaniswatto]

@DestinysNinja You're missing the point of the joke.

Janette is John Howards wife

[DestinysNinja]

@Rohaniswatto No, I'm not. I knew that and I got the joke entirely. What I was asking about was the comments about "racism", when there's not a single racist thing I can find in this video.

[Rohaniswatto]

@DestinysNinja

Fair enough. My mistake good sir.

Carry on.

[DestinysNinja]

@Rohaniswatto Haha cheers.

[chickensw]

@DestinysNinja yeah im struggling too..plus, it was a lame fucking joke anyway..

[bigg1esworth]

Thank you Scott!

[Soundgarden8497]

i wrote david koche is a faggot in cum shots ... it was in his mother's handwriting all over her fucking face.

[MoreAnonymous]

awkwardddddddddddddddddd

[tosgem]

typical racist, crude aussie

[maddalff]

@tosgem Bit of a generalization, don't you think?

[arieloz]

@tosgem that wasn't racist you dickhead

[anlutje]

hHAAHAHAHAHA i fucking hate kochie; but gold

[sahilvermaVEVO]

HHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH THAT WAS BRILLIANT, WHO CARES IF HE'S A WANKER OR NOT THAT WAS HILARIOUS AHAHAHA

[melkerri]

If Kyle Sandilands did that there'd be hell to pay, you wouldnt hear the end of it!!

[yakidk89]

1:17 uncomfortable much?

[iceman93allin]

Say what you like. My jaw dropped after hearing this joke. It was then followed by 5 minutes of pissing myself laughing. This could be the funniest thing ive heard on a breakfast show

[ccall48]

dont ever quit your job on this schow kochie

[josie60633]

Kochie in Swahili language = idiot

[ThePandaPwnage]

I thought it was in kochies handwriting

[scootahish]

This program was dummed down about 4 or 5 years ago as it was behind in the ratings...

Now it's in front...

Proud to be Australian...

[tubewearwolf]

What an epic dick bag! i fucking hate that idiot and to be honast its the last motherfucking thing i want to see when i wake up! i seriously want to take that fucker out. i dont know why but he shits me sooooo badly, it puts me in a bad mood when i see that cunts face on anything!

[HotGeneration100]

Gold

[MrRoccoSifreddi]

Someone please put a big cock in his mouth, so he shuts the f$%kup!!

[TheHoodedClaw99]

@MrRoccoSifreddi Well it won't be you then will it needledick.

[MrRoccoSifreddi]

@TheHoodedClaw99 yes thats correct because it will be still be stuck in your mother biatch!

lol hooded Claw...what are you some kind of creepy rapist

[MrRoccoSifreddi]

@TheHoodedClaw99 no it wont, because my 12 incher will still be parked in your mum's cornhole

[TheHoodedClaw99]

@MrRoccoSifreddi She doesn't eat corn therefore does not have a cornhole. And I believe that you have mixed up Imperial and Metric - you did, obviously, mean 12mm. In any case, are you sure you can get it out of your baby daughter in time?

[MrRoccoSifreddi]

@TheHoodedClaw99 - no mistake my hooded rapist. it was 12 inches of pure meat stuffed right up her hairy cornhole...i was a little tired after the creampie i gave your wife.

[TheHoodedClaw99]

@MrRoccoSifreddi Lololol at the pretence you persist with. Who is it you're trying to persuade that you can actually get a hard on? Yo momma? You seem to have forgotten - your 'dick' (if you can all it that) is really 12mm, not inches. Sad little (pun intended) pretender, you just HAVE to be a yank. Are you, yank? are you? Lol, remember Iran? And Vietnam? LMFAO@YOU. Lolololol.

[JBofBrisbane]

@TheHoodedClaw99 @MrRoccoSifreddi - You blokes done yet?

[MrRoccoSifreddi]

@TheHoodedClaw99 what are you talking about you inbred aussie hick!? stop trolling you tube and get back to the hole your crawled out from. Vietnam war ? Iran?? what have you been smoking fool?? go take your medication silly biatch!

[TheHoodedClaw99]

@MrRoccoSifreddi It took you so long to think THAT up? Is that REALLY your best shot? You fucked up tupid redneck cocksucker. Get back to yo momma, I just fucked her fucking fat arse. Bitch screamed, she LOVED it. Says my cock is WAYYYY bigger than your maggot. Now fuck off and die slowly of cancer you fucking shiteating ho.

[MrRoccoSifreddi]

@TheHoodedClaw99 haha..is that all you got hooded rapist?? come on...now bitch...speaking of mama's, you're retarded sperm hole of one called and said she was sorry she wasn't there for you. something about not being around, and that her chutney hole was being filled by multiple cock's at the same time?? whore said she was sorry, but your cross eyed, faggot dad would look after you! all the best with the herpes he gave you. now fuck off and go suck on Kochies cock

[SerotoninRush]

Fucking shit show, shit people, fuck off. cunt!

[rangatank93]

That was sooo funny! Fuck the haters Koshie is the man!

[ROFlyoshi]

Was anyone else having a tl;dl moment when this was being told/

[PcKSnipE]

FUKEN KOCIE GO DIE FAGGOT

[sunjai01]

Stfu Koshie.

[chafeboy]

that was terrible

[anoma123]

Kockhead at it again. Pathetic little toad he is.

[daymyth]

AHAHAHAHAHHA the co-presenters face.... That's fucking priceless... She's like shit, this is not going to end well.

[Shazgi]

Lol stupid kochie

[awde2]

Wow is this what we've become. Grown adults afraid to laugh at a joke which really isn't even that rude

[InmyJag]

Thumbs up if you hated Kochie before this video.

[whysohardto]

Oh dear, it's like trying to get your drunk uncle down off the stage at a wedding!

[AussieWalla]

Kochie is a fucking wanker.

[Thebibs]

@claireshana

Well the Jews have been re-writing the book on Racism, in Palestine, lately. So he's learning well.

[bengubana]

When in awkward situations, change the conversation to milk.

[tylernicholas]

can someone please tell mw what makes him an authority on money??????

[splatt33face]

@tylernicholas Well, really...look at the man. He aint ever gonna be a sex therapist. Or a hair model (unless it's on the palms of the hand). His face profile is about as enchanting as a used tissue & well HE'S KOCHIE!!! He's gotta have something no-one else has or wants.

[tylernicholas]

@splatt33face Lol but he's not that rich... perhaps in bad jokes and annoying idiosyncrasies, but not rich in the moneys.... I think he should retire.. channel 7s morning show is being devoured by 9... and soon to be 10

[tylernicholas]

@splatt33face and now I'm going to have dreams about hairy hand kochie sex therapy... thanks a lot @splatt33face :P :P

[paulkimbell]

hey all you should check out the funny video hahaha go to thelaststandtv chanel on youtube and its the one called attention retailers we dont like what we see

[branaginslaw]

what a cock

[HagridsProductions]

GREAT JOKE DICKHEAD!, HA HA HA HA HA, I see everyone went off when you delivered the punchline.

[Aussiemarco]

Great joke .. but shite telling of it, Kochie.

[melkerri]

I cant believe i actually liked this dickhead once upon a time. What a poor judge of character i am. Get this self centred arrogant weasel off tv.

[shtoyetgoreg8]

That's the best political joke I have ever heard.

[wardog1967]

Complete wanker. The telling of that joke was appalling. This guy needs to get off TV and out of the Herald Sun as a financial "advisor" along with his other half.

[cooliocoolio62]

I met Kochie when I was a little kid at Bannockburn Oval, Pymble doing Little Athletics. He viciously yelled at me for not picking up papers that had blown away in the wind (I was having a go at my sister for not stopping them). I now have a rare, horrible childhood memory of him crouching down blowing up in my face, completely uncalled for. He's rotten to the core.

[bawb100]

haha

[scotthendo]

hahahahahahaha

[meh4000]

Not a patch on Karl Stephanovic

[ReaperXC]

I thought it was Julia Gillard's handwriting

How hot is Kylie Gillies?

[TeReNo223]

wat a dick that wasnt even funny

[RazzleDazzale]

I hate him! He hates anyone who isn't australian! A makes fun of everyone who isn't australian.

[onlytwothings]

fucking loves himself

[beatmakermike]

What a fuckhead, as we all know.

[007jetto]

@claireshana

its jewish

[PetShopMod]

Tossa!

[tryandlisten]

One word - Cockhead

[Shazgi]

lol good joke dere wonderful stuff good form

[Krazed2Kraze]

This isn't controversial at all, people need to stop being so pissy about everything. A child who has been kept innocent would not understand the joke, since he hedged the living hell out of it. Therefore, get over it and have a laugh. Or don't. Just don't bitch.

[jimmy69691000]

@Krazed2Kraze so true

[venuecam]

If I was Johnny I'd puch Kochie sqare in his fat nose.

Still sucks to be Little Johnny though.

[venuecam]

I saw this idiot's book in Dymocks. God, he's such a douchey idiot. There are still heaps of copies left. Did he even think to make a version for Kindle or iPad? Yeah, real economist right there.

[swicked4911]

LOL HAHAHA I hated this guy but now he's a champion

[isfckingevil]

Kochie is Port Power supporter. Explains much.

[ifican12]

this is stupid. you're an idiot kochie. who even thinks to tell that joke on national tv? i bet he even thinks he should have been pm over john howard.

[seriousgamer94]

funny shit



[rohanesburg]

LOL

[AngryCommunists]

haahha she doesnt look at happy at 0:40

[spaceoreo]

As a comedian, Koch, you make a good breakfas-...actually, you're totally fucking awful at that too.

[pegasuswa]

blood sucking lizards

[jordosing]

kylie looks smoking hot as usual

[Paperism1ne]

bahaha milking in a glass bottle?? Keep kochie away from it!!!

[tarkinfish]

LOOL at everyone's reactions

Unfortunately I don't get it...

But I'm not from Australia

[webtopia]

@tarkinfish John Howard was the PM of Australia and a complete Dork/Tool/Wanker. Kim Beasley was the leader of the Opposition. Janet is John Howards wife. It means she was holding Kim Beasleys cock while he wrote it.

[tomitstube]

@tarkinfish ~ lol, i suffer from the same affliction, not knowing the people involved. i looked it up and i'll explain it to you with brits. david cameron is skiing and see's someone has pissed "cameron is a dork" in the snow. the secret service tells cameron it's tony blair's urine, but then tells him it's "mary's" (cameron's wife) hand writing...

[insanic1]

is Kochie jewish?

[Sopez1]

I refuse to watch sunrise because of Kochie, can't believe I miss clicked this link. God forgive me.

[maleman6344]

The joke of the day should just be a freeze frame of kochie for 5 seconds..Every..single..day.

[THExVIDxKID]

@maleman6344 lmao

[ale848]

It's not kochie's fault.

I doubt he ever looks at those jokes before he starts to read them out. Some stupid intern probably just didnt get it but thought it was edgy and pollitical because of that.

[dboyce1968]

ROFLMAO...........dats funny as.......

[awkwardbarry]

Kylie Gilles' expression is priceless.

[w4rrior94]

Fun joke though

[LJonesy2]

Kochie, notice how nobody laughed?

[peachster2]

@LJonesy2 coz it would be kinda rude to laugh hahaha

[rplende]

This was originally told about Bill Clinton and Al Gore!

[b52goats]

heh heh... pretty funny... but not for a morning show.. and his delivery of the joke took to damn long

[Amity197111]

cant stand him...but i thought it was funny?...bit rude for morning tv...but someone tell me how it compares him to mel or kramer?...didnt seem racist

[harj2009]

wtf is this ???

[hobbes296]

Urrgh...that was just embarrassing... >.<

[chrissy15101]

that's controversial?

[DrBreitbarth]

Thats gold! BOOM!

[FlamewaveLeader]

most retarted australian. ever

[Nijokaz]

@FlamewaveLeader Learn how to spell before you call anyone retarded. He is though anyway.

[hstrzina]

He definitely shouldn't become a comedian

[nachos4brekky]

A man suspected his wife was having an affair so he hired a famous Asian detective.

Later that week the man received this report:

You leave house. Other guy arrive at house

He and she go to hotel. I follow.

They go into hotel room. I climb tree and look in window.

He undress she. She undress he.

He play with she. She play with he.

I play with me. I fall out of tree.

I no see. No fee

[Forlo12345]

@nachos4brekky LOL! I like that joke.

[Carcharias2]

I used to go to Fitness First bond street and I'd see Kochie there all the time. He's a fucking wanker, you can see it in his eyes that he thinks he's god's gift to women despite having as much hair as a lizard on chemotherapy

[D3IZ3L]

@Carcharias2 sorry bro, you're a fag

[whysohardto]

@Carcharias2 I can believe this is true!

[rohitrez]

@Carcharias2 hhaah.FUCK KOCHIE.

[hectichorse]

lol I dont know who the people where but i get the joke, its pretty funny lol

[Tooks77]

both those women can use my cock to write in snow anytime lol

[chocoholic961]

I dont get it? Can someone please explain?

He dragged it out too long.... :(

[Carnagebk]

@chocoholic961 Jeanette is John Howard's Wife, if it is in her hand writing it implies she was holding Kim Beazeley's penis in order to write the statement. Which inferences his wife is having an affair with Kim.

[chocoholic961]

@Carnagebk Okay thanks :)

[suspendedanimation]

meh, it was either Kim Beazley or Peter Costello; didn't see the 2nd part of the punchline coming though. Bad taste either way

[SloppySailor]

Kochie...you fuckwit!

[llMiCKll]

What the fuck Kochie!? You sick, balding gronk!

[thepurpleroom1]

There is no such thing as 'the Secret Service' in Australia, idiot.

[weenyone]

@thepurpleroom1 ASIO is the equivalent to the Secret Service

[heyheyscotty]

what a shit joke!

[anaemia]

What was the big deal? It's not that risque.

[ChipMidget]

Kochie is so lame, it's funny

[randomaussie89]

lol, idiot

[benos]

were those fake laughs?

[babiibella101]

he makes the joke draaaaaaaag out, im surprise anyone even gets itin the end :P lol

[67675656565655656565]

i used to go to school with a kid who was molested by kochie.

[icumming83]

@67675656565655656565 innapropriate



[67675656565655656565]

@icumming83 i know it was extremely inappropriate for kochie to do that.

[ChukkovProductions]

Well, of all the "jokes" he's told, it is the best

[catsyfamous4areason]

He is one ugly four eyed geezer LMFAO

[krazymindreader]

Kochie, that's not Kosher... prick.

[funkyassholes]

this made me lol :D

[0011100001000100]

what a faggot

[5000jews]

omfg lol that was fucking funny

[mepipds]

I liked Kochie, until I saw the way in which he treated Mr. Abbott on Sunrise the other morning. He was most disrespectful, and his job requires him to keep an unbiased position. I think he should stick to finance.

[avi8r1]

@mepipds Well you see Tony Abbott isn't exactly what you'd call human, any abuse hurled at him is more than justified.

[onlytwothings]

@mepipds kochie doesn't know fuckall about finance. Everyone turns to him for 'advice'. Many things basic knowledge in the finance industry he get's wrong/explains wrong. Ignore everything this clown says. If you follow the crowd, you get the same fkd results as everyone else!

[w4rrior94]

LOL, owned, janetts handwritting

[Pigroota]

He should just change his name to Dick Cock. It's much more apt and descriptive too. I thought one needed charm to be on tv?! This bonehead lacks wit, intelligence, charm and persona. Fuck off Cock!

[tcsonline]

As much as i dislike Kochie and especially his love for everything Labour, it was pretty funny

[Ironslad1985]

hahahahahahah that was a fucking brilliant joke! People have NO sense of humour these days; well Yanks and Aussies that is!

[dragonpuppy9]

the cringe factor makes it funny

[joshierox]

lol



[LukeJF89]

lol 

[movieman2000]

Kochie's a douche. When I would go to school I didn't mind them, but as I hit year 9/10 I began to question the validity of morning television, and now I just sleep in.

[samtheband]

@movieman2000 surely everyone only takes these morning shows with a grain of salt. They are really no different to the so called 'current affair' programs on in the early evenings. All rot, no real consumer information at all.

[sheetbug]

Haha good one

[asithgftoc]

good joke but shouldn't really be on morning tv

[smokerl777]

!hahahaahahahahh i love the chicks face at 1:10 shes soo hot!

[poagee]

That is fucking gold... u ppl who don't find this funny are a bunch of pretentious fukwits!!!

[L1VE0RD1E]

@poagee can you explain the joke to me :)

[totalrethatsme]

awkward moment

[allycheeps]

hahaha so awkward...

[rilasciando1]

Kochie, you are a tool. Period.

[germanicelt]

I was thinking at first that Janet obtained some piss from Beasley and poured it on the snow, but when I saw the look on the womens faces especially @1:20 (I always thought she was hot and this confirmed it) I realized that Janet was holding his dick and drawing the letters.

[HawkFan30]

@germanicelt Who's a clever cookie?... you are.. yes you are...

[chasersbf]

He can't tell a joke for shit

[DawnFaerie]

I don't get it. D:

[kuroshashu]

Hahaha, fuck me, David Koch said something funny. *checks for airborne swine*

[pomegranateish]

I don't get it. I'm not joking.

[Andy9742]

@pomegranateish its implying that "Janette" was holding Kim Beasley's dick whilst he was pissing. And Janette is John Howards wife.

[pomegranateish]

@Andy9742

Thanks.