Jimmy Carr - If you were a soup, what kind of soup would you be

[stevensaj2013]

"of course it fucking is" XD

[SkyStained]

Jimmy Carr, the pimp

[HerrJamie]

Split-pea or not split-pea :3

[ash38287]

Funnily enough, my cousins are called Steve & Tracey...

[jackmn22]

it can't be kelly from misfits, the actor's name is lauren

[TheWeepingCorpse]

I wouldn't fuck her with your dick. yuk.

[BrokenBrilliance]

wouldn't mind a go on her :P

[minermax4444]

@BrokenBrilliance LOL

[dr21011]

i dont know but i think that big titted slag is on misfits (A E4 show) her name on the show is kelly

[PeculiarAxolotl]

What's the deal with the name Tracy?

[nadgier]

@PeculiarAxolotl Apparently slag name ;p

[20centuryfox100]

@PeculiarAxolotl it's pretty much the equivalent of "stacy" or "britney" in the states. basically, a dim-witted and very easy girl, but usually very good-natured.

[rm2551]

"Quite a big titted slag..." - TOO FUNNY.

[sportsportsport]

haha "tracy", course it fucking is.

[AaronConlon1]

He's from the south of Ireland Cork or Kerry around there.

[nikanj]

Haha she's like a 19th century buxom hussey.

[damshek]

"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."

[Zoopedia]

I can't wait for the kids to ask

''So how did mummy and daddy meet?''

[mostinho9]

2:01 <3

[DarthSpringsteen]

1:09 wow even Einstein finds it funny.

[Pentagon1311]

I love comedians who improvise!

[LostOddity]

I think I'd be a mulligatawny soup. XD

[redyrnogardash]

Still a better love story than Twilight...

[johnnyXsniper]

hahaha " theres a, large titted slag "

[jkman10]

Someone explain why it was funny her name was Tracy?

[playthecard22]

@jkman10 It's just one of those names that sounds a bit slutty. Especially if she spells it "Traci."

[Hirohamster2]

@jkman10 It's typical of a slag XD

[GaryFlynn1000]

@jkman10 I assumed steve and tracy from coronation street can't think of anything else ?

[MrDamo2222]

@jkman10- i imagine its because his name is steve, reference to "steve n tracy" in coronation street. not that i watch that shit!!

[infraball]

i really want to know if they actually got together after this.

[mahj]

...Everything went better than expected.

[Kaizerworks]

I'd be a smoky split pea and ham soup.

[MrStevenRichter]

Steve and Tracy : A love story.

[XplosivCookie]

"Tracy"

"... Of course it fucking is"

I'm not done laughing at the last joke and he says THAT! :'D

[watdoejebigtime]

a real comedian can improvise... jimmy's one of them (:

[D3w10n]

You got to admire Brits, they really have a healthy sense of humor ^_^

[PandaAids]

@D3w10n and soup

[MrDuckKiller52]

is that her mum beside her?

[watdoejebigtime]

@MrDuckKiller52 lmao i think so

[cyanman123]

Chicken noodle, I would be (YUM)

[Smitamas101]

would you like to have ago on that

LOL

[TheScrummy9]

Legend...

[JaffaaHD]

Is that Kelly from Misfits? haha

[assviolator185]

Scumbag Steve ...

[logician360]

Cockaleekee.

[fletchization]

The fat slags from the VIZ are called Sandra and tracy

[fletchization]

The fat slags from the VIZ comic are called Sandra and Tracy

[Lukeyboy969]

He should of just said 'no.'

[Aloverssoulz]

BFG was a great book ^.^

[Rohmanator]

I hope they did fuck, what an excellent story, matchmade by Jimmy Carr. Excellent description "theres a big titted slag"

[OpethMcNugget]

It's not "soup" though, it's "soop".

[1xlottiex1]

@OpethMcNugget i dont get it?

[Zoopedia]

@OpethMcNugget No, it's definitely spelt ''soup''

[JackleSpanner]

what was the joke about tracy? i didnt get that one?:L

[maxnostax]

@JackleSpanner Of course you don't, your name is Jackie lol XD

[JackleSpanner]

@maxnostax Thats an L, not an I !

[seljeks]

Jimmy Carr, not only an amazing comedian but quite a pimp as well lol

[Thiery2864]

í wonder if they went on that date xD

[itspennysboat]

him saying the 13 year old boy line was brilliant. i mean the quick wit. i love jimmy X)

[macca5467]

i do hope those two crazy kids made it work

[seitenshow]

@ahhhhjjjj We've all had a Tracy here and there.

[villevn]

Man, so awesome... xD

[seitenshow]

Steve and Tracey.. sitting in a Carr.. sipping on some.. soup?

[ahhhhjjjj]

@seitenshow Would love to have a look at Tracy's Carr Park ;)

[TheRogueMod]

I'd date him. :P

[casperado666]

what's a bfg

[Affubalator]

@casperado666 I believe its a reference to the Big Friendly Giant, who talks in a low monotone voice much like Jimmy's impression of Steve.

[casperado666]

@Affubalator thank you very much.

[rugbygirl34]

i got onto this by mistake............I don't think I've laughed so hard for a long time, then i read the comments, which are even funnier, i love British humor firkin hilarious!

[IamTheJesusGuy]

@rugbygirl34 firkin?

[rugbygirl34]

@IamTheJesusGuy hahahaha my bloody mac does that correct word thing i meant frikkin!!!!

[BloodWing4000]

this is how finding a date needs to be

[tommoo25]

haha even though they interrupted him, they were still good sports about it.. so was jimmy really.. love it!

[sunburningstare]

british women are the biggest whores on the planet

[StarskySTARS]

@sunburningstare That price goes to another country.

[Bootstrap193]

@sunburningstare haha, well after australians

[sunburningstare]

@Bootstrap193 do tell, i`ll go purchase a plane ticket to melbourne right now!

[Changchey]

@sunburningstare That's a bit controversial, don't you agree lol. Surpose you're right. Apparently people 14 years old have had sex in local school of mine.

[sunburningstare]

@Changchey actually, a quick google search will show you that they also have the biggest knockers in europe, sporting massive fat tits in some cases, that plus a pub culture and easy shaging makes british women some mint fire breathing whores

[Changchey]

@sunburningstare What country are you from? If you don't mind me asking.

[sunburningstare]

@Changchey citizen of the world brah

[Changchey]

@sunburningstare I guess American.

[maciejwrotek]

@sunburningstare yeah they are big, cause food aint good, dont know about whore part.

[ztunelover]

@sunburningstare Europian women in general are pretty easy to get in bed.

[DeMause]

@sunburningstare I should move to britain.

[ChoonDSW]

@sunburningstare

really, faahhhk were have i been lurking.

[1xlottiex1]

@sunburningstare naa sluts are everywhere.

[Mw1Am]

@sunburningstare I dont see the problem with that.

[LgGerminator]

@sunburningstare I gotta move to London!

[jek21]

@sunburningstare "biggest" is right.

[deathswatch1]

@sunburningstare im british and i agree :P

[voodooxcxl]

@sunburningstare all the thumbs up kinda make me want to take a trip across the pond, now are they attractive sluts? It would be a shame if the only thing attractive about them were their voices.

[sunburningstare]

@voodooxcxl mostly are while they are young, they are busty too wich is a plus, they have the biggest tits in europe.. but after a few years...jesus christ....

[KayKay9875]

@sunburningstare HEY!

[WillShakespeare2007]

@sunburningstare - I think you mean sluts, you pay for a whore or did you think you had to pay for all women as it's the only way you ever get sex?

[deinvadder88]

@sunburningstare True. It's a shame they are fugly.

[FluffFaceProductions]

@sunburningstare

You cunt.



[Lan5in6]

@sunburningstare really? too bad u live elsewhere you poxy blackhead squeezing world of warcraft playing nobody

[sunburningstare]

@Lan5in6 nobody !? LOL you are so sad it is actually curiously cute

[Lan5in6]

@sunburningstare i was going to say something harsher but i think i struck enough nerves

[sunburningstare]

@Lan5in6 yes yes the shoe totally fit, i better take a long hard long at myself. P.s My statement remains a fact.

[Easyandy100]

@sunburningstare And what is wrong with that?

[CullTheLivingFlower]

@sunburningstare I know where I'm going for my vacation then.

[InstinctYOU]

@sunburningstare not steryotypical at all

[goingnowhere92]

@sunburningstare

And the British men fucking love it!

[sunburningstare]

@goingnowhere92 specially when your married to one of them

[BaileysBeads]

Oh you British people.

[CommentCriticiser]

of course it fucking is, lol

[Zougeiro]

Freaking halarious. Kinda wish they would have followed them to see if it worked out xD

[IceyOnly]

LORRA LORRA! Blinda dataaaaa

[littleangel12344]

The BFG joke made me die laughing

[1xlottiex1]

whats your name?

tracy :)

Tracy.... Of course it fuckin is :P

[SjaanK85]

@1xlottiex1 Where's the joke in that? I'm not from he UK, so I don't know if I missed anything..

[aguyyaknow]

@SjaanK85

Tracy sounds slutty.

[1xlottiex1]

@SjaanK85 Tracy is a common chav/slut name used commonly as a common character in soaps and in real life (no offence to tracys)

[1xlottiex1]

@IxXxillo0sionsxXxI yah but its just generalization

[MyCORMAC]

@1xlottiex1 i dont get that enlighen please

[ironmoman]

that accent.. i understand fuck all

[Cayberni]

now thats a new job for jimmy...matchmaker lol

[hellboyslittlebro]

I bet her parents are proud

[geeleegeelee]

jimmy the matchmaker

[pennydesouza]

The 'sausage down an alleyway' thing doesn't make sense.

If girl A sleeps with one guy - her boyfriend - every day for 2 years, people wouldn't accuse her vagina of being overly stretched.

But if girl B sleeps with 730 different men, people would.

Yet a penis has been inserted into both vaginas an equal number of times.

THINK ABOUT THAT!

[energysage]

@pennydesouza A woman who sleeps with the same man for 2 years has had the same size pecker inside her each night.

A woman who sleeps with 730 men has had a lot of average ones, some small ones, and a few ridiculously enormous ones.

Cunt stretching is about quality as much as quantity.

[pennydesouza]

@energysage BUT if her boyfriend is massive then the effect would be the same - you have to concede that...

[Zoopedia]

@pennydesouza You seem to miss the point of a joke, which is not to take things seriously

[FearlessSpinner]

Id do Tracy

[muffin8or]

@FearlessSpinner

You'd get a lot of STDs

[FearlessSpinner]

@muffin8or I might be desperate but not stupid :D hahaha

[muffin8or]

@FearlessSpinner

I'ts not like a sausage through an alley way. It's more like a sausage down the Champs-Elysees

[FearlessSpinner]

@muffin8or true i guess XD

[whityjack]

@FearlessSpinner yeah she seems like a fun person

[Matoxhz]

A dentist in Britian must get a lot of work. Durr hurr hurr.

[SerGaToKaR]

She said OOOO really quietly but it picked up an echo from her *whistles*

[watfordlad4life]

She's definitely a girl i'd pick up at 3.30 am / the taxi rank but never in the club :P

[shanedeanc]

What a great audience lol

[songfrog89]

This is the funniest thing ever.

[c500amg]

Hilarious!!

[Joylevinstein]

Is that a Scottish accent that the dentist has? Can't really hear his voice so I guess I'm missing on some fun :(

[Coreyisgod1]

@Joylevinstein welsh

[ScarletRonove]

@Coreyisgod1 Not Welsh, Scottish

[Danny1Bhoy1888]

@ScarletRonove not scottish

[ScarletRonove]

@Danny1Bhoy1888 Sorry your right, listening to it again he sounds more Irish xxx

[muffin8or]

@ScarletRonove

He's welsh.

[Coreyisgod1]

@ScarletRonove is he fuck scottish haha

[Horsehoundable]

@ScarletRonove

Not scottish, It's Irish

[Horsehoundable]

@Joylevinstein

It's Irish, southern Ireland to be exact

[WhiskerScot569]

@PurushaDesa Say No More m8 i completely agree even if not american

[WhiskerScot569]

Generally girls with y on the end of there names are considered slags stacey,tracey.wendy etc

[PurushaDesa]

@WhiskerScot569

Hillary (Clinton).

[p4ddythehelipilot]

@WhiskerScot569 ??? No it's the Sharon & Tracy thing. It's more an 80's reference as usually a common girl who'd go out get pissed & was an easy lay was usually called Sharon or Tracy hence why viz introduced the Fat Slags Sharon & Tracy. The Y thing just doesn't work i:e 'wendy' that's hardly a slagy name.

[xtremehrmhn]

this is the WEIRDEST standup gig ive ever seen

[deathmoster]

ill have a go on her :D



[couldnotthinkofone]

She heard he's a dentist and she's a golddigger

[50033836]

@couldnotthinkofone Well, he IS the BFG. And it's all proportional.

[jaxx459]

Awel. Cindy, Debby, Vicky, Lindsey. Geen typisch Belgische, gewoon algemeen.

[DzeLowBudgets]

Mind if a Belgian asks, what's so funny about her name being Tracy? xD

[jaxx459]

@DzeLowBudgets

Stereotype, girls who's names end in Y are slutty. In Belgie trouwens ook :)

[rowlus]

@jaxx459 Wat voor typisch Belgische namen eindigen op een Y? IN Nederland hebben we er niet zo heel veel, alleen namen die van Engelse sletten komen :P

[1xlottiex1]

steve and tracy.. well that was a match made in heaven.. if yaa dont beleive me go watch some corrie

[charstarl]

"tracey. ....course it fucking is"

[GogglesRequired]

@charstarl I don't actually get that joke but i laugh everytime lol

[drieske333]

@GogglesRequired Tracey is a sluts name

[GogglesRequired]

@GogglesRequired I think it's the way he says it that makes it funny lol

[GogglesRequired]

@charstarl I genuinely don't get that joke.... But for some reason laugh at it everytime....

[pedinoway2]

liar, they dont have dentists in england

[PrintScreened]

@pedinoway2 Lmfao, your still asleep right? That must of been a joke!

[pedinoway2]

@PrintScreened of course it was a joke, but you know the stereotype

[PrintScreened]

@pedinoway2 Ah yeah I get it now (Sorry I was way too slow on that one) lol

[SoundOfTheShell]

i would...just saying