Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's A Shapeshifter'

[cyanmanta]

I used to date an emotionally distant shapeshifter. He had badly defined facial features and spent all his time chasing this Ferengi bartender around a big space station. I miss him...

[FreelanceProgrammer]

Oh NOES ANDROID!

[JTPWALKER]

up next an emotional story of a family overcoming the loss of their son by having another son.. that is a shapeshifter

[lovelee182]

Craig is a hottie!! but,i know he's a shapeshifter of my last boyfriend...

[37yen]

GOD DAMN IT ONION, PUT RATINGS ON YOUR VIDEOS. I CAN'T WATCH ANY OF THE GOOD ONES BECAUSE OF NO RATING. FUUUUUUUUUUCK

[oldannyboy37]

Lol.......there's some truth to this video.

[SirPainsalot]

The emotionally distant shapeshifter is a Steelers fan?

Hahaha!

[SobingDeath]

ooh so not all women are emotionally clingy almost bipoler money grabers im so releaved hahahaha jkjk

[Anon371]

David Icke's worst nightmare.

[Mellyssax0x]

Fml. LOL.

[zackamisiesxstuck]

i would bone Anna from chicago

[Rawr8987]

Rachel was really cute...

[niriop]

225 David Icke fans watched this video

[kendrat199]

omg, those headlines at the very end kills me. "Up next, we'll meet a couple who overcame the loss of their son...by having another son"

[tvap1122]

The sad part is, if a book like this actually came out, most women would believe it.

[VanIslandLights]

LMAO! Is this guy serious!? I think I just peed my pants when I saw he wasn't joking or using a metaphor xD

[Buzz0Killington]

If all shape shifters hate commitment then why change shape and stay with the same girl? There basically prolonging the relationship. 

[borskyviolin]

These youtube ads should really start packing the meat of their message into the first 5 seconds.

[rot0001]

3 words, "He's a shape-shifter"

3?

THREE?

THREEEEE?!

[R4LAXED]

@rot0001 1 word, hesashapeshifter

u mad :D

[gorgeousaur]

@rot0001 hyphenated words are still considered one word.

[Xiquid]

oh DAMN. The hidden message in this is awesome!

[MrBunnyWasHereFirst]

So that's why that dumb bitch was trying to spray me with something she called "anti-shapeshifter spray"... I'm a cyborg god damnit..

[whiskerchild]

OK, this is a joke.  hahaha

[SmallpoxRot]

"Self-absorbed shape shifer" means "emo".

[andre51588]

Actually these reptiles are for real they are the annunaki...help....telll the world...ahhhhh!!!!!!!

[ALPHADESIGNTAMPICO]

Wasn't THE ONION about satires?

[jamesarongray]

Lizards haha

[jamesarongray]

hate these ads

[dharmaatdawn]

oh my GOD, but how would we know if he is an android ? will there be a spray coming to identify him? where do u spray it on him or on me ?

[MarsBar2012]

I gotta run and get me some of that shapeshifter repellent spray! ;)

[bandwagon22]

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

[TheYouwontgetit]

i am a shapeshifter...

[CrocodilusPontifex]

225 women are in denial that their boyfriends are shapeshifters

[cassey6937]

I knew that since I was little...=) I believe that seriously...and this is the first time i've seen this....

[cassey6937]

I knew that since I was little...=)

[iLikeToitles314]

whats next? hes a mermaid?

[btw3006]

Am I the only one who would bang the host, Tracy Gill?

[MosTagarta3]

@btw3006

You are not alone.

[edimk25]

second women on video is just a slut lmao

[CpsLock3]

You knotice the only people saying we should "take responcability" are Catholics and feminists?

[jcjcjcp]

his true reptilian form hahaha

[KenFan4life]

lol, fucking polamalu jersey

[city212girl]

What the hell?! How do so many people not realize this is satire? Are you people idiots?

[Atheist18505]

This shit is not a satire it is fucking the truth! Fuck you all who doubt me.

[MarijnStevens]

I have three words for ya: "he is a shapeshifter"

[MirragedCA]

@MarijnStevens Fail on that lol. Shape Shifter is 2 words trololololol.

[juniperlei]

the guy who plays the author is sexy :D and i like his voice

[RussianDemocracy]

I thought this was legitimate television until the book about androids. Difficult to decide whether I should laugh or feel terror with the mainstream media.

[SavoyTruffle78]

@RussianDemocracy:

This is a SATIRE, idiot. This is a FAKE news show.

[RussianDemocracy]

@SavoyTruffle78 Thank you, I didn't realise it is fake until you've called me an idiot. It's all very clear now.

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@RussianDemocracy

Nope. He's an idiot.

This stuff is real. @SavoyTruffle78 is a fucking nimrod.

[HelloWerldLawl]

Reptilian shapeshifters wrote and filmed this to laugh in our faces

[TheAlmostGod888]

I personally think that today now is the best show on The Onion, they really need to make more.

[clark4926]

After you know he,s a shapesifter (Reptilian, of course), you kick his ass and kick him off the planet and date only real earth men from then on after a complete dna scan.

[gio957]

That nayspay probably smells like fish,a shape shifter's worst fear.

[clark4926]

If you keep your eye on the woman newscaster, she is a shapeshifter because she sticks out her tongue at the end. Pay attention.

[kingsman565]

@clark4926 You can usually tell by the eyes, the eyes never lie. ;)

Oh and BTW people when are we atleast gona try stop them from murdering most of humanity? It's one thing to quietly run the world I can deal with being ruled over by aliens but they relly do want to kill most of us! That's probably something we should do something about you know... I mean it's not like the survival of the entire human race is anything to be concerned about for fuck sake!

[coltsuperocean10]

...One good sales man!! Intelligent women should be able to see through this fuckin bullshit! If you need to buy this book, then girl you are a loser! Wake up modern women, do you believe this bullshit??

[MrGojiralee]

@coltsuperocean10 SATIRE

[butobuto1]

i hoped to see revelations on star trek deep space nine but all i got was a commercial aimed at retarded women :(

[apetrowsky1]

This certainly has convinced me of how these reptiles play on words to try to discredit the truthers. And they call US primative.lol. Reptilians are warmongers and liars. Creating wars, terrorizm and chaos are very primative actions and very childish as well. And on top of that,they walk around looking like us with their holographic disguise because they're afraid of us. Once u discover who these creeps are and how they work,it's very easy to see through their facade.

[kingsman565]

@apetrowsky1 I got nothing against aliens (as long as there not pretending to be human) I'd like to meet the little Jay Rod guys they look kinda cool & I think the big ones use them as slaves like the replicants in bladerunner which is abit crap, but the bigger ones are arrogant assholes that think we'er just they'er farm animals to be used & exploited. If we'er so inferior then why do they enjoy living like us monkeys? Fucking assholes!

[Foxtrot1213]

women don't realize, or perhaps don't want to admit due to some reason that they are the common denominator :-)

[Spaceguy5]

I'd buy it

[viking977]

this guy has got it figured out. take advantage of stupid people.

[octupus6]

I want this to be posted to look completely serious to see who would fall for it..

[rdwaters]

So that finally explains all of my dating woes. SMDH at those crafty reptilians. Just might have to try an android / cyborg the next go round...

[thefreelanceuser]

wow, i never suspected that i was a shapeshifter!

[angus500]

peel off his outer layer lol

[Hikarilover123]

Anna's part was pure awesome. It's the Onion, but it blew my mind! It all makes sense!!!

[kobiemajor]

221 Men are shapeshifters

[Marco3star]

Problem is that women are wired wrong like a car ecu but made in china were a man has his built in Germany....

[JamesBlond000]

@Marco3star That explains why men are so good at typing, grammar, and syntax.  Better wiring!

[JamesBlond000]

@Marco3star That explains why men are so good at typing, grammar, and syntax.

[JamesBlond000]

@Marco3star That explains why men are so good at typing.

[velvetnotes009]

lol Rachel, i dated his brother his best friend his cousion..blah blah ....LOl, shes a shapeshifter. oo and so are the presenters.

[thelovelyinkwell]

craig is pretty hot >_______>

[andre51588]

@thelovelyinkwell I'd go gay for him....or bi ;)

[andre51588]

@thelovelyinkwell I'd go gay for him... or bi ;)

[theHaxprocessor]

@thelovelyinkwell

he's a shapeshifter!

[Gidz69]

bullshit

[Tw1St3DSt33L]

Madness: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. As much as you to change your man, people dont change; they adapt.

[TNoSuchCoupleParadox]

@Tw1St3DSt33L But what causes that initial “spark”? Scientists speculate: looks, pheromones, hormones, money, personality etc. All valid hypothesis, but they fail to answer the key question: What is the relevance of each factor? Or are they all equal, so the woman just assigns points to each category in her subconscious, and than makes up her mind: „Mr. Smith got 8 points in the wealth category, but only 1 point in physical attractiveness, so his total is 9 points on 20 point scale” ?

[giniethesinger]

Hahaha this is funny :)

[terrorlord15]

a robot from the future lol.

[bleaupearls]

Most men are shapeshifters. I have a solution. It's my way or the highway. I can be a real p***k just like the guys.

[CrazyCornhuskerFan]

@bleaupearls with a name like blue pearls i believe you dont work and you need men for money, go back to the kitchen bitch

[BludRayp]

LOOOL SICK, HE TOTALLY RIPPED ON THE ALPHA DRACONIANS

[sailorK4]

The guy was hot!

[terrorlord15]

@sailorK4 yeah i thought the same thing lol.

[4EverPwnNoobs]

im a chick and i play video games instead of guys, whenever i get tired of a game i can always change it! its amazing! i can go on other games without the other games getting jealous! and i can have more than one and they all give me equal pleasure <3

[terrorlord15]

@4EverPwnNoobs i love video games too but, real life > video games really it cant match up to love eventually you'll get lonely and need them.

[philcoool]

Keep it up and you will do it.I I rank no2 in GB and 6 in the world at 500 m rowing ,check concept 2 ranking I am Phillip Cameron.Check out the push up contest with me and Darness.See my videos if you don't believe we had a boxing contest too.See Philcoool on u-tube.

[kettturton]

1:06 Swifty?

[paris4185]

Does anyone know that therapist guys real name? He is seriously cute.

[SchizoManatee]

@paris4185 FUCKING LOL!!! ****SPOILER*** He's a shapeshifter, bitch.

[terrorlord15]

@paris4185 so whats the plan? *ding-dong* *guy opens front door* "hello?" "I saw you on youtube wanna go out?"

=/

[giniethesinger]

@terrorlord15 hahaha that's funny =)

[grandrapids57]

Tracy Gill must have the best gams on earth.

[YajirobiforReal]

Most networks keep the supernatural secret. That''s one of the reasons ONN is such an awesome network. You should also see the show about the medium. Although that show was a little bit anti climatic. At least they treated the subject with the dignity it diserves.

[WatchmenDrManhattan]

The funny thing is that women would actually believe this than rather accept the reality

[TheTopStriker]

Warning ! He's an Terminator !

[LoserMillionaire]

b.s i'm not going back to nice guy. too lonely.

[lilfili123]

facebook status is still single loool

[WatWarrior22]

This is staged right??? tell me these dopes aren't real!!??? Ok first off, bimbo number one HELLOOO stop meeting guys at fucking bars, go to the park, church, a museum a book store, WTF do women or ANYONE think they're going to meet anyone in some bar I mean are people that bat shit?? Bimbo number two, boy you sure do get around, dumb ass why fuck would you sit there and deal with everyone in his circle, now they all can trade sex stories about your neurotic ass. GOD PEOPLE ARE DUMB!!

[UWARABLE]

@WatWarrior22 GOD YOU ARE DUMB! OF COURSE IT"S STAGED YOU IDIOT



[WatWarrior22]

@UWARABLE Don't try and get brave over a computer because you have no idea who you're talking to, keep that in mind pop tart

[xJustDontBiteItx]

"at that point he may as well just peel off his outer layer and reveal his true reptilian form"

XD

[whisheshewernthere]

12 different types of jerk....12 different types of cylon

[sandrsofias]

Forwards by Kim Catrall!

[HellKitsune69]

women one: "i keep dating shallow guys that i meet at this bar"

women two: "after my breakup i dated everyone in my ex's life"

i wonder where the man troubles are coming from in these situations..... =w=

[Thudothwacker]

Me: Hey Craig I always forgot to flush toilet after use. What will I do?

Craig: Three words! You are a shapeshifter!

Me: Wait! That's four words. "You are" are two words.

Craig: Yes. Buy my book and you'll find it compounded inside.

[laurenoliver23]

Hahahahahaha! So funny!

[molineux199]

this betta be a joke ...?

[JEEminn3000]

Wow another book on male bashing, and the hosts reacting so fake-as if its a infomercial.

[YahSedQanu]

@JEEminn3000 hey ummmm... its a joke this is satire! Its not real!

[ZeroShift5000]

Damn reptilians from the Draco constellation just want our human women!

[ReviloliverLewis]

what about: Keep your eyes peeled! She's a human!

[FuzzyLogic211]

Why does every Onion video have to have some underlying message? Obviously they poke fun at some important message, but to over analyze every video kind of takes the fun out of watching them.

[fightersanime]

I wonder how many people actually think this is real?

[fetishisticrose]

shapeshifter is a metaphor for INSECURE ABUSIVE men (in this case , men)

[fetishisticrose]

anna wake up ,YOU MET HIM IN A BAR!!!!!! DUH

[AudioVisualMatter]

I love it!! The sad thing, though, is just how many people adamantly believe that reptilian shapeshifters actually exist and rule our lives.

[derobmai]

218 ppl bought the book apparently.

[aryansinred]

The Rachel girl gets around! LOL. The guy's brother and best friend? AHAHHA.

[effincrzy]

i need to buy this book

[HaligonianType1]

I think my eye doc is becoming a reptilian, or a gray. He appears to be slowly turning into a lizard. Well, at least it looks that way. He's always looked like a gray in a human skin suit. I always suspected that about him. I am going to bring that up next time I am in to see him, and see if he denies it.

[tEaleE77]

Five great breakfast wines - lmao

[freewngs]

Craig Wheedon is Superman.

[EltonvonCthulhu]

The question is, are these shapeshifters aliens, like Odo, or are they of supernatural origin, like fairy changelings?

[KubernetePirata]

Why don't we have these things in reality?

[derobmai]

i got three words for you: HE IS A SHAPESHIFTER. lol.

[cascasoldier]

i like to have a "destructive relationship" with Tracy Gill.

[sfreemanCG]

217 people are shapeshifters

[dancingram79]

This must be a joke right?! too stupid to be true.. however, the list of signs is ok, and sadly, alot of ladies (smart ladies) sadly ignore what the guys are telling them or trying to tell them.. hoping that they can make them change.

[jeszterII]

I am a shapeshifter. Are any of you ladies from tennesee?

[pcred566]

@katieblueSkiesnow Pathetic much? It was meant to be a joke. Geez.

[AcousticUplift]

The spoof author is very handsome ;-)

[TheBobasbro]

@AcousticUplift

SHIFFFFFTTTTER!!!!!!!!

[chaisack]

this book must of cused 216 people to get dumpd

[jameyd420]

i like how everyone always thinks the onion news is seriouse ...

[LetsBeRandom1]

the chick is so obvious, lol

[Johnrapp]

project Snake Freak. look it up.

[Furicist]

Its about bad women, bad men AND bad advice. Its all a spoof, stop saying one part of it is about one thing, another about something else, its all a joke, the WHOLE THING.

[SquiddyX2]

A new clip for theonion should be "Ultrasound confirms woman has baby catfish"

[komoriaimi]

This is one of my very favorite Onion clips. BTW I miss this segment. It was my favorite I don't see more of these ones coming out only the Brooke Alvarez ones.

[wilkeswynnter]

i remember my first onion video i was creasing!

[Rickardius]

I love this clip. People always blame their ex for everything that went wrong in a relationship. Many would rather believe their parner is a shapeshifter than that something might be wrong with them.

[geniusjas87]

His facebook status is 'single' hahaha

[nightstash1]

Oh my god they are on to me!!!

[marinegrunt0341]

I love how this guy is supposed to be feeding off of women who are doing the same dumb things over and over again but don't want to find fault themselves (e.g. going to the same bar to meet people; dating guys from the same family).

[yarow122]

The reason why they all keep dating the same assholes, douchebags, and dicks is because they are easily attracted to the way they are. Basically, if a guy is an asshole then he acts like an asshole. And if a guy acts like an asshole then they will be not only mentally but sexually attracted to him even if he doesn't take care of his personal hygiene. Whereas a descent man who respects not only her body but her soul has no chance at tappin' that ass.

What happened to this nation?

ROFLMAO, though.

[goldenavatar1984]

This guy is a tool, and those girls are idiots, going to the same bar you started a previously failed relationship for a second taste at failure, and dating around the family of a guy whose proven to be a bad partner, this show is geared at idiots.

[JesusTheJedi]

@goldenavatar1984 Shirley you can't be serious.

[goldenavatar1984]

@JesusTheJedi Yeh, I wrote this comment then found out that this was a fake news video haha.

[SiriusStarSystem]

Thumbs up if you were looking for information about the Illuminati hybrid bloodlines.

[sighx3]

If only the "ShapeShifter Repellent" was real.. lol

[goodguysdoll]

HE'S HOT

[joecruzsb]

Tampa, FL!!!!

[guitarlawyer75]

I think I might have dated some cyborgs!

[thedrummerization]

there are sooo many people who don`t get that this is jks, I think we can all agree that they`re shapeshifters....

[adeck220]

that was the stupidest excuse for news i have ever heard

[Doctalen]

@adeck220 You know it's a fake news site you dumb ass.

[Hobinator17]

people, dont overthink it. its making fun of women who date the same type of douchebag guys over and over again and keep getting into failed relationships. women need to open their eyes and see all the other options before complaining they can never find a good guy. a good guy is probably one f the guys she overlooked

[TheBobasbro]

@Hobinator17

You mean guys with frosted hair and spray on tans might be shallow and self absorbed?

Who would have guessed?

[JazKW347]

@Hobinator17 Not to sound like a douche, but you do realize that it's a joke

[Hobinator17]

@JazKW347 yes, ik what the onions is. ive been subscribed for a long time

[adam009999]

@Hobinator17 that's one way to look at it. but also it shows how men are just pure assholes and that's reality. Women become used to most guys being dicks so they keep tolerating the same nonsense. P.S. you're likely a dick too. Too many sexist brats on here

[adam009999]

@Hobinator17 that's one way to look at it. but also it shows how men are just pure assholes and that's reality. Women become used to most guys being dicks so they keep tolerating the same nonsense. P.S. you're likely a dick too. Too many sexist brats on here

[terrorlord15]

@adam009999 all humanity are pathetic, its not just men or women its everyone.

[amyalewine]

The lady had slits for pupils the entire time on camera.

[misskaneza]

Is this a joke or what? It seems like they're mocking something or someone. They seem ignorant to me for some reason I can't take this seriously at all...