Dogma - Jay Rant

[kap2310]

The Piano, nice reference

[BejnXander]

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT GUYS HEAD?

[ParodyPeopleKR]

haha love this part. alanis morisette is so cute when she gives that little smile :)

[Trechul]

4 people don't know what the fuck happened to that guys head. 

[xXxDjShamblesxXx]

"What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head? What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking? What the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head?" So priceless xD

[Pam4Rob]

@xXxDjShamblesxXx -thanks for typing a play by play of the entire video, you fuckin idiot, you couldn't think of anything original to say? SO you had to just give us a play by play you fuckin unoriginal bastard.

[xXxDjShamblesxXx]

@Pam4Rob All of those words have been used in the dictionary and by millions of people around the world, you are no more original then I. You are just a butt hurt faggot playing the internet tough guy through a computer monitor. And your calling me an idiot and you don't know me. So who's the idiot here, you or me? Wait, don't even answer that. Your answers and remarks hold no meaning to me what so ever. Thanks for giving me a good laugh. :)

[manofwar115]

Best part right there what the fuck happened to thy guys head

[Steeds85]

I almost pissed myself at this moment in the movie XD

[tiagandremo]

what the fuck is this shit??

who the fuck are you lady??

why the fuck did you hug my head??

what the fuck is this, the piano??

why aint this broad talking??

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??

has everybody gone fucking nuts??

what the fuck happen to that guy's head??

l000l

[BardandQueen]

jay is so awesome xD

[shody94]

hhahahahhahhaha what the fuck is this shit!? :D :D

[InvaderSlusk1994]

where can i purchase jay's coat in this movie?

[TheWhiteQuadroon]

LOOOOOOOL

[KerrDogga]

why gthe fuck did you hug my head?! XD

[HughesHunter5]

Hahahaha...i love the metatron. Is so funny and cute ^^

[newyy1]

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT GUY'S HEAD!!!

[wildhobby]

I love Dogma, just the very nature of the characters...

[RaebNitsirt]

The only thing in the world that can shut Jay up is God. lol

[Fehnrique]

Alanis's smile makes this scene for me.

[TheJunkieBox]

0:45

[babyhands87]

I love that Alanis Moreset is God.

[wernerdriver]

jay is unstoppable...almost!

[GuardianGizmo]

Jay's face when he said "What the fuck happened to that guy's head?!" made that line all the more hilarious. One of the best and funniest scenes in any movie I've seen yet.

[NinjaMagic411]

"WTF is going on.  Why the Fuck did you hug my head. WTF is this the Piano? Why aint this broad talking? WTF happened to that guys head!"

Funniest shit ever.

[Pam4Rob]

@NinjaMagic411 - thanks for a complete play by play of the video we all just saw, wow your a loser.

[xXxDjShamblesxXx]

@Pam4Rob And you said the same thing to this guy! LOL. Okay, heres the thing.. any insult you say to anybody is just a reflection of yourself. You clearly are a very egotistical person to say the least. Who is the real loser here hmm? Certainly not the guy taking time out of his day to call other people down for simply quoting a movie. Grow up a little why don't you? It could do you some good. What are you twelve?

[Pam4Rob]

@xXxDjShamblesxXx - no not really, I dont buy that any insult is a reflection BS, its just what people that are getting insulted say to make themselves feel better about the fact that their being insulted, just suck it up and take it like a man, and no Im not 12 Im 30. and I'm sick and tired of clicking on videos and people sit there and give a play by play of what you just saw, it's like wtf, come up with something to say ABOUT the video you unoriginal bastard.

[xXxDjShamblesxXx]

@Pam4Rob No, actually, Your insults are meaningless to so there is nothing to take like a man, as they do not offend me. In fact, it makes me laugh. I am being insulted by a 30 year old man who is less mature then a 17 year old boy. And ever heard of a little something called freedom of speech? Don't like it? Then get the fuck off the internet you moron. I didn't see you comment on something ABOUT the video. You just bashed us who are quoting it, which is more ABOUT it then what you are saying.

[Pam4Rob]

@xXxDjShamblesxXx - no matter what, your still fuckin retarded, we just watched the damn video, we dont need a play by play of what happened this isnt ESPN, its youtube... I also have something called freedom of speech, so that arguement just went out the window, I can say whatever I like as well.

[xXxDjShamblesxXx]

@Pam4Rob Yup, you can. And I don't have to listen to it, because I too have freedom of speech. So I will agree to disagree. With saying that, dont bother replying, cause there will be no further reaction out of me. (btw, again with calling me retard, what are you trying to prove by calling a 17 year old retarded? I dont get it.)

[xXxDjShamblesxXx]

@xXxDjShamblesxXx And as for the statement, "its just what people that are getting insulted say to make themselves feel better about the fact that their being insulted" Again, I have to laugh because you actually believe that calling someone a loser is the least bit insulting. Plus, even if you did say something insulting to me, It wouldn't make a difference because you don't know me AND your attempting to insult a 17 year old. (and failing at it miserably I might add) Anyways, good day to you!

[Punkandfunk420]

"Get offffa me!" lol i love his jersey accent

[TheDeviant88]

Easily the best scene from any movie ever

Jay: Get offa me. I wanna see what's up. What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head?

Metatron: Quite a little mouth on him, isn't there?

Jay: What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?

Metatron: I believe the answers that you seek lie within my companion's eyes.

Jay: What the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head? I want some-

[jarvcrabs]

omg I have this film on video somewhere havent watched it in like 7 years xD

" WTF HAPPENED TO THAT GUYS HEAD" xD :L

[SaintInsanity02]

Why can't i find the last scene of this film anywhere?

[jimenasa]

I am Christian Catholic, I know yeah most people from my religion would disagree but I don't care, so THIS MOVIE ROX IS REALLY FUNNY :) i would love it to have it as a DCD lol

[Pam4Rob]

lol I love this part

[bluez4soul]

... Answers.

[jarvisel]

"What the fuck is this, 'The Piano'? Why isn't this chick talking?"

[donneric]

Mewes is the man

[neoshaddow07]

im a satinist and i this this is the best movie with Jay and silent bob in it

[Krowsnose]

faggot

[shaunthevirus]

big up!

[deliconker]

Personally, I like velvet better than satin. But to each his own...

[lilkao3]

She was GOD, jay felt the power when he was kissed and thats why he acted like that.

Thats my theory.

[Enkidiusz]

Jay is stupid jerk. He kissed a girl and that's my theory O_o Lol

[javioe]

this film is fucking brilliant

[matteo1231]

i dont understand why catholics got so pissed of with this film, the most offensive thing i could think of was the buddy christ, was the fact that god was a woman (god could be any shape or form) or that god enjoyed skeeball. it was just a film that was made 9 years ago.

[edstella]

I'm Catholic, I don't hassle people about their beliefs and they usually don't hassle me (unless they're just jerks and it's usually not about religion, it's about them just wanting to piss me off), Dogma's funny, this clip is funny, let it go.

[kanick12]

i love how all you people can turn a ordinary funny ass clip from a great movie on youtube into a giant prophane comment section on whos the bigger faggot geezas people the clips on here to make people laugh... not to insult a person who u shall NEVER see in real life... which im sure makes it just that much easier for u to talk shit.. :P

[mullanjully]

i think haywirefilmz should shut the fuck up about my family

you obviously dont know me so back the fuck off and get a life

im out

[Schwarznasen]

With all due respect, your thesis makes absolutely no sense. How can you be offended by a statement made from another concerning a belief system that does not exist? It's like that greedy sod Donald Trump complaining about Mother Theresa because she has eschewed and utterly rejected living a life based solely on the acquisition of money. Why should he give a rat's ass about her rejecting a belief system which has become his religion? Think about it.

[freakingusername]

Ironically enough, all the unnecessary swearing is followed by one of the deepest messages of the movie. I mean, that fact that a stoner mall rat with a huge temper, violence and anger issues reaches absolute serenity after the kiss of God is pretty...I don't even know how to explain it. This movie is just incredible.

[skilletroks]

Was clerks before this my minds gone blank on that.

[rocranadar]

After Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy (in that order).

[matteo1231]

dogma, jay n silent bob strike back, clerks ll

:)

[FatSlim666]

Religion is made of Fear in Death :D:D

Check out the Universe how big is it? There many more religios than only the katholic and the others on our planet in the universe don't believe in things that you only see

No one the fuck knows why we are here:P

[fanarchy]

Do it like Daffy Duck

[jmansource]

Schwarznasen, wow.

What fuck happened to that guy's head? hehe :p

[gohan3499]

Why the fuck did you hug my head? my favorit part

[Schwarznasen]

Don't take the film seriously? Utter rubbish. This film is all about skewering the Catholic church, the last bulwark of morality in the western world. Aside from being coarse, crude, and obscenely profane it only targets the Catholic church and its belief systems as being the cause of all the world's social ills. Comedy? Nonsense. It is just thinly veiled anti-Cartholic propaganda by those who possess neither conscience nor morality. It is amazing what empty-witted actors will do to get paid.

[bleedingroma]

it doesent go agenst the cathlic religion at all its about 2 angels trying to get back into heavan and a couple of guys trying to catch and stop them and mainly just fart dick weed and a couple jokes on religion

[segmemtum]

The catholic church is has borught more death and pain to the world than all wars combined. Blind faith is one of the most dangerous things in the world.

[XXXHellblazerXXX]

Mellow out!

You dont have to watch it you know.

[mullanjully]

i think you should shut the fuck up this is one of the fucking funniest movies ever take a god damn joke dont take the fucking shit seriously geez kevin smith is a legend your just a fucking whiney jesus freak GET THE FUCK OVER IT im catholic and i fucking love this movie one of my faves of all time and you know what FUCK YOU

[Schwarznasen]

You a twisted, mentally deranged pervert. The foulness of your kanguage is perhaps exceeded only by the festering bubble of puss between your shoulders you call a thought box. Please. You are a pathetic little worm barfely above mildew on the evolutionary scale. So keep your fingers off the keyboard and back around your bong where they undoubtedly spend most of the day.

[mullanjully]

i think you typing that shit just proves the fact that your a fucking gay cunt with no life but to sit in front of youtube reading comments and replying to them with large words that not even jews understand

get a life you cunt

[Schwarznasen]

Good gosh...such language! You blow your dad with that mouth?

[mullanjully]

My dad is dead you little cunt

fucking faggot

i would slit your throat if i saw you

you probably sit at home all day in your mums basement on youtube thinking your tough commenting people on youtube

when you would probably get the shit smashed through you in REAL LIFE

get a life you faggot

[Schwarznasen]

So, what was that you were saying about free speech? Anything goes? Tough shit to those offended by another's words? "Lighten-up" you would say? You appear quite offended by my writings. Now how does it feel to be on the receiving end? Think about it you fucking troglodyte...if you can.

[matteo1231]

omg if you read the disclamer at the start of the fucking film youd no its a joke u spazz.

[Schwarznasen]

A disclaimer? That is sufficient to prevent any offense to such a witless and profane tirade against a venerated religious institution? The quality of your psot indicates you are a nothing more than an intellectual dwarf with the sensitivity and burrowing proclivity of a dung beetle. Good luck in prison..

[matteo1231]

this film is not against catholics, kevin smith IS a catholic he wouldnt bash his own beliefs

[DEATHbyRAZORBACK]

kissed by god herself! no wonder jay's so awesome!!

[CixXxCuzzo]

*makes into ringtone

[piratebribe]

BEST PART OF DOGMA BY FAR.

[NiceGuy019]

haha one of the funniest scenes

[xdemonsoulx]

only Jay could say fuck to God lol

[Timmithemagicalbum]

What the fuck happened to that guys head?!

[KriegerDesHasses]

This is the funniest part of the movie. :D

[cj1313]

lol, never seen the film - mallrats, strike back, clerks 1 and 2, - but i still havent seen this one. Alanis is hot!!! :P()

[stuffonyourcat]

It's pretty funny that Alanis is god in this movie.

[jackylegs94]

of all the people God could've kissed, she picked the foul-mouthed stoner from jersey

[grimiznaofca]

life is life

[Mazaias45]

i agree.....but aint god a dude???

wtf was dis all about?

[RevanEcks]

God Is neither man or Woman. God would appear to you as any thing that seem fit.

And for some reason Jays rant reminds me of Daffy Duck.

[cheesecake106]

actually, kevin smith said in the commentary that he told jay to channel daffy duck during that part or something.

[babymoondancer]

Well, Jay is Her child. She made him!!

[babymoondancer]

Wow, God is the only one who can shut him up.

According to my fanfiction, the only thing that can turn him into a gentleman is a blow to the head and temporary amnesia!!

[plasticcuppolitics42]

Best part of the film!

[XpHunTeR]

Epsilonic you rock!

I almost downloaded this movie just for this part! no kiddin.

Thanks a lot =]

[ohmydays12]

I actually love this is so funny and silent Bob too they are great!!

[simonhojovii]

love this movie so much XDD

[ToniJLO]

So Awesome!! lol.

[BabyGal89]

"what the fuck is this? The piano? Why isnt this broad talkin" cracks me up,

[GodSendKidDisaster]

his face when he says, "what the fuck happened to that guys head?!" is just priceless

[Redtooth45]

Hahahaha

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!!!!

[Chrotisofus]

That is A. Morisette?

[klaskdlas]

Yep

[klaskdlas]

Uh, I was replying to Chrotisofus's question.

[goodtimetone]

tori amos would have been a better God!!!

[shreddman8704]

"what the fuck happened to that guy's head!?"

[sillymanofGod]

i love that smile it so awsome

[LeonX480]

HA the one guy in harry potter is in this movie..

[otakualways]

alan rickman

[melody1717]

man, I love Alan Rickman...

[RMBRRSD]

I LOOOOVE THIS FUCKING MOVIE! I FUCKING LOVE JAY! IT'S SOOOOOO FUCKING FUNNY! FUCK!!!! hahahaha.

[Book7BrokeMyBrain]

If Alan Rickman touched me, I'd fall down too.

I love this movie. The whole "feeling the painful absence of the Divine" theme makes me cry.

[castanza1]

funniest shit i have ever seen :}

[lingnemesis]

Jay! ^^

[deezvids]

LOL! Alanis is so cute in this movie. :)

[JayAndSilentBobBONG]

LMFAO i watch this movie every night its hilarious i even wear a freakin black winter hat so freakin funny.

[deezvids]

Gotta love Jay!! :-D

[GJR1980]

What The Fuck Happened to that guy's Head?

hahahahahahahaha

[RubiyR]

Hands-down one of the funniest movies EVER made. )))

[Seasider007]

'ur answer lies in her eyes?' 'wot the fuck does that mean???' fuckin priceless

great movie

[darsvedder]

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT GUYS HEAD haha look at jays face

[purplestarr88]

Every single time i see this scene I laugh so hard I love Jay .get off me i wanna see whats up lol

[Afrobrit]

So funny!  The swearing is so well timed!

Angry, clueless and demanding an immediate explanation! Ha!

[bennyraven]

Every time I see this part, I think of Kevin's commentary when he directed Jason Mewes to "Do it like Daffy Duck."

[tiggeerr2]

Clerks 2 was so fucking funny.Watch it like 3 times in a row. Kevin Smith's movies are getting funnier and funnier. Haven't seen

Clerks 1 where can I see it or rent it

[renegadeoboe]

"Why the fuck did you hug my head?"

Bahahahaha

[thakrazykid24]

"I believe the answers you seek lie within my comanions eyes." "What the FUCK does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts?! What the FUCK happened to that guy's head?!!

[bgc892]

god i fucking love this. haha.

[cordyka1]

this is so cool =D

[julzisonfire6969]

he just got kissed by god... see wen u say it, it sounds fkn sik

[Da1337Man]

lawl, jay said fuck to god at least 10 times xD

[soadgirl142a7x]

I love Alan in this movie!

[CivilEscape]

Alan Rickman is a GOD. Almost literally here, but seriously.

[ohsorry8]

jay got fucking nuts

[rosey4exclaim]

I love "God"'s smile.

[purplestar888]

Jay is way too funny He is so great !!!

[breakingthehabit2008]

haha

[freezeoveride2]

i want to buy the 2 disc collectors edition of this movie do much

[southparkdude97]

do much? r u some kind of fucking retard u stupid son of a fucking bitch ass mother fucker go fucking slit ur fucking wrist u stupid shit!!!!ill rape ur mom right in front of u

[bgc892]

dude...fucking chill...typo. god.

[Mojioftheeast]

I loved this movie

[hraor]

Dude, Alan Rickman confused the fuck out of Jason Mewes. LOL! Alanis as God is funny.

[Frostypeanut]

"Why the fuck did you hug my head?!"

[FoxFairy400]

Nice...XD

Alan Rickman pwns...XD

[Erik113091]

Who was it that played "God" in this?

This movie ROX!!!

[Epsilonic]

Twas Alanis Morissette ;)

[heartagram4lucy]

it was alanis morrisette

[Erik113091]

I know... I looked it up on IMDB like, 3 minutes after I asked that...

[Frostypeanut]

Alanis Morissette.

[armoreth]

Alanis Morrisette(sp?), oddly enough. ^_^

[Erik113091]

No, only one "R".

[CuriositysCat]

I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve this movie!

[ABCjen868]

"What the f*ck is this The Piano" lmao

[alvinleetya]

you gotta see "jay & silent bob strikes back" it's as funny as this scene but the whole movie is like this!!!!

[TheBard19871987]

kevin smith's greatest work, and probably the best religious satire of all time!

[ikkedoch]

Jason Mewes.. Or he's wearing a wig in Clerks II, Or he cut his hair off after the movie.

[isoycrazy]

I hate seeing that scene censored.  You lose the essence that is Jay.

[dregj]

i love the bit where he confess s god gave him a boner

oh papa

[flamingbutterfly88]

I know...the two reactions that fought for prominence in my head when I heard that were "EW!" and hysterical laughter at Jay...just being Jay! Great video!

[Book7BrokeMyBrain]

I loved the way he expressed that - "I got half a stalk when that chick kissed me" LOL

[torn969]

has everyone gone fukin nuts

wat the fuck happened to that guys head

brilliant

[dascarletspider]

The funniest shit I've ever seen. I'm crying right now. "What the fuck happened to that guy's head!?!" Priceless.

[SwollenEyeAgent]

I love Jay! he's so funny!

[alca1992]

i agree

[luisafr1]

Hehe Alanis is funny

[Sapiano]

That guy is so funny...

[sexyskater0928]

thats fuckn funny as fuck

[madziksaw]

it's really, really good. I love Dogma and love this video and lyrics.