Demetri Martin

[CartomartaKenDoll]

nice pictures

love Demetri 

[musicaljessa]

Sort of lol

[zeno711]

demitri is smart. smart=funny

[Annaie123]

Bana

keep going

bananana

DAM!

[MrDrBREAD]

a hawk becomessss... a doubblee hhaawwkkk

[TurboMan12121212]

Happy Birthday....Jesus.

[TurboMan12121212]

Happy Birthday.........

[HunterDX77M]

Good job with the stick figures. They really add to the video and are well done.

[Supahstah93]

@HunterDX77M

ahahahahaha 

[7goatmilk7]

why does that mic look like a penis?

[RascalFlattsFan5]

I love how the uploader actually went to all the trouble of drawing those pictures in Paint..

[boxmanfan11]

Haha your gonna live... Sort of

[2109917162]

sort of is also funny after: Im pregnant or I Do or i think your beautiful.

[MarsionLove]

Demetri Martin is truly unique. He's the only person who can pull this off without being too vulgar. Some people have to curse between each word (guilty as charged) to seem funny, but Demetri doesn't. He cracks me up.

[nef1y]

the face at 0:43 and at 0:52 are epic.

[gabbixgirl]

I love Dane cook and dimitri they both have different Styles Dane is just more animated

[shymanskij]

A DOUBLE HAWK

[cardfreakify]

demitri martin rocks!!!!! dane cook does suck though

[cardfreakify]

this is awsome!!!! demitri martin and steve martin. are the best comedians ever!!!!! plus dane cook sucks.

[dopiestwnk]

....trust me. LOL

[doodl3bugg13]

Trust me...

[ruki25]

who cares if dane cook steals joke and who is the best comedian!

Its all funny ass shit!

[ihopeyouredone]

I keep seeing Dane Cook comments on Demitri's videos! WHO THE HELL THINKS THEY'RE IN ANY WAY SIMILAR?!?!!

[milleniumbass]

@ihopeyouredone

I know their completly different, cause demetri is actualy funny :P and much smarter

[tweenklecat]

where is the original vid?

[lnmylife]

what a retarded audience

[qualin2k5]

banananana... Damn

[TylerReczka]

that picture of a 'hawk' was actually a turkey vulture. learn to bird.

[nevarezromero]

double hawk XD LOL

[EmeraldFireNinja273]

I LOVE DEMETRI MARTIN

[loonytoongonemad]

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

[malagard56]

that black thing twith the stick guy looks like a dil

dough

[iceman3332]

lol ITS A BOY......sorta X3

[FLIPFLOPx234]

I think he is hillarious. He makes everything funny. He is amazing. My favorite comedian. Much better than Larry, or Jeff dunam or Dane cook!

[V3ng4r]

why is your show so bad? y are the commercials during ur show funnier than you? y do point out the obvious in all ur jokes? y are ur jokes so bad? y do ppl call ur show as intellectual comedy if its so f-ing stupid? y is your nose so big? y does ur face look like that? y do u look like such a pussy? y do u look like you smell like pee and bad pussy? y have u not killed yourself? y do ppl think ur a comedian? y are old ppl ur biggest fans? you should b made 2 listen to ur own jokes!

[dagoogler01]

y u be trollin?

[Zaphara11]

Im not trollin!

[15kickerlivinloud]

bana. keep going, bananana

[spooner916]

@15kickerlivinloud damn lol

[jackyj13]

he's so funny. i love

his jokes!

[pharlap69]

haha double hawk

[JustinJustin2929]

what is the long one called where he uses the sketch pad,guitar and harmonica...i saw it on comedy central and cant find it ANYwhere.......

[italianchriswilko100]

type demetri martin large pad

[MuhFoomBuh]

He missed the ending!!! it actually goes " I love you,or Your going to live(sort of), or Its a boy!!!!(sort of)

[djtbone001a]

Demitri is brilliant ! I hope he keeps it up for years to come !

LMAO @ Double hawk and "trust me"

[alightinflesh]

Hello wonderous scriptor,

I do believe you've proceeded with most smooth. Excellent. Granular works tidy, true. Here's a suggestion, even though the delay is effective, I do agree with that. The actual ordering method, did not match Mr. Martin's INFLECTION if you will. What I mean to say is: it might be more satisfying for the viewer if you took each INDIVIDUAL joke and separated them from the rest and proceeded to order each song according to the overall pattern Mr. Martin SEEMS to espouse.

[deepart15]

Man it stops at the bast part. ITS A BOY!!! lol

[TheBigGuy11010]

ITS A BOY!!!!

sort of...

[ahet0657]

He only added "ITS A BOY!" in later performances, this one is earlier.

[deepart15]

For real? Man.

[reg074]

lol, "Double Hawk!"

[AdmiralDonuts]

Best comedian of our time.

Hands down.

[ATTlCUS]

@AdmiralDonuts Or louis ck.

[kyeno]

@AdmiralDonuts

He is second only to Hedberg.

[XxOneDeadHeroxX]

@kyeno hedburg is king!

[TheRealDarthWicket]

@AdmiralDonuts George Carlin was pretty cool too...

[ryanp123456]

"Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are the same, they mean the same thing...unless you're at a funeral."

Demetri is brilliant...he also might have thought of that joke at a funeral, which is kind of awesome.

[ArararoZamora]

he probably got his ass kicked cuz he laughed at the funeral xD

[bandaid44]

anybidy else think the kid that is gonna live sort of looks like eric cartman??? and demetri martin is awesome

[headbangermat930]

i thought that mic was a penis at first lol

[GenerationDMF]

reminds me alot of mitch hedberg

[ATTlCUS]

@GenerationDMF But alive.

[DracoX9]

Oh, what a world.

[TheSoundofSeparation]

the microphone looks like a penis, but yeah demetri martin is so funny

[HaloMae]

Hows the CD?

[craigni34]

LMAO :00 - 39

[buttercupcake27]

I love you!!!!!!!!!!!

[bassification1]

demetri martin is awesome

[Sonicboom734]

yes because you would point that out

[elpuma12777]

omg i love the taxi driver joke makes me laugh everytime

[loveisthemovement711]

if someone mails you apples

"what the hell is this?"

but if someone puts them in a basket

"this is nice!"

BANANANANANANANANANANANA!!!!

[drewwashere941]

I love the ending, but they forgot to add it's a boy (sort of)

[THEREALBASSCORE]

Banananananananana

[Dizzie517010]

This is fucking funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[noodles4eva456]

lol bananaanananas

[SparrowGirl411991]

You know I really like both Dane and Dimitri but I think that trying to compare comedians is like comparing apples and oranges. None of them have exactly the same style

[boy121897]

Demetri Martin Is WAY Better He Makes Sense While Dane Crook Laughs At His Own Jokes

[SparrowGirl411991]

I like Demetri better too. Dane Cook is an ass :D

[metaitachi]

Dane cook sucks. its all about loud voices and extreme gestures in his case.

[CorelTechSupport]

@metaitachi

Also Dane Cook just steals his jokes from other comedians, its true YouTube it.

[TheNeoflare123]

Demetri Martin is awesome!!!

[ckurt3]

wow wtf the last joke you cut out the one that goes "ITS A BOY!!!!" (sort of)

[venmon619]

he doesn't always use that one

[Rogue6190]

Oh ffs. Just because two comedians have the same joke doesn't mean one copied the other. Yes Dane Cook and Demetri Martin have similar styles of comedy. When that happens its very likely that sooner or later they're gonna think of the same shit.

[CANDIxRANDI]

lmbo 2:13

so true!

XD

[sexiirexii]

"dude make a left"

"those are trees"

"trust me"

lmfao

[Halomainaic1234]

PENIS MIKE

0:39

[jjdaman16]

Hilarious =D

[TEXTUALactivity]

i love demitri martin :D

but omg he sounds just like my ex bf haha

[idcdammit]

the mic and mic stand is a penis

[Klemons12]

But if you put those apples in a basket they're like..."This is nice!"

[0lecm0gn0]

God he is freakin' hilarious

[DetroitDeath]

LMAO 2:29

[asianinvasion071]

LMAO :01 - 3:39

[Pyr0fr3ak666]

the stick figure for thefruit basket jokewas funny :P

[yupyupyupyupyup1]

ill mail u fruit!

[zjsfhnguzj]

well ok it's not great but almost funny

[meu02136]

Yeah this is off his Comedy Central special, it's not as good as his other gigs.

[SlyFirefingers]

I must say, the drawings were really good

[davidspursduncan]

it's looks like he's talking into a giant dick

[ry32l]

he sort of is, now that you tuned in

[penguin55955]

dane***

[timmythebiber]

or ... "it was funny"

[EllePantech]

I love the fruit basket joke! :)

[Hippy20000]

or ''Its a boy!" sort of...

[quackerzdb]

that banana thing was in a book I had a really long time ago

[timmythebiber]

yeah might be - but hey - this guy shared the joke with a million people who haven´t read the book your grandfather bought

[stagno182]

looks like it says, "this is mice!" :P

[xxxJUSTANOTHERONExxx]

i heard dane cook do this joke..

[alloutmillion]

well sometimes comedians have similar jokes. it happens a lot

[darthpaul123]

similar maybe , but jokes are also stolen alot too. dane cook is kinda known for that. not as bad as carlos mencia though!

[GiraffesMH]

he copied demetri

[J3SA]

... He IS Demetri.

[GiraffesMH]

no Dane Cook copied Demetri

[J3SA]

I kno!

-sighs- your comment wasnt linked to someone elses so i didnt get it.

[14dorlan]

dane cook is better!!

[martialartsgod13]

no hes not dane cook stole his joke

[penguin55955]

demetri martin is way better then dane cook... not even close... y do u think dance was stealing his jokes???

[BlendTehMango]

Then go watch Dane Cook, retard.

[imamagicwaffle5]

funny

[SuppaFunkyMan]

Or how the catholic church teaches u "God loves you" sort of.

[TheRealRyuuzakiL]

banananananananananananananana­nanananananananananananananana­nanananananananannanannananana­nananananananananananananannan­nnnanannananananananananananan­anananannanananananananana...n­a

[jordankaiz]

im srry he looks liek he is talking into a dildo :P

[iTickleChu]

or "ITS A BOY!"

sort of.

the last bit of the joke is missingggg D:

[Scinasari]

Why rated down? That's the end of the joke.

[HeyMrKindred]

lmao double hawk

[ITSericWITHnoK]

OMG! best demeti vid yet! keep them coming!

[dethfield]

Oh.  You people don't like what I said, so you vote down my comments.

Fuck you, humanity!

[artisan09]

so are you a dog? or a jackass?

[dethfield]

Dog. Siberian Husky.

[RudolphEnds]

LMAO

[mfincannon66]

man

[mfincannon66]

good job on the pictures

[jaeyoung815]

its supposed to be "happy birthday 'Jesus'" isn't it?

[ITSericWITHnoK]

yes. happy bday jesus!

[Dangerous1231]

took me time 2 figure the dick is a mic stand for ur drawing

[TwistinFool]

why is there no live footage

[skidd16]

There's 1 more sort of:It's a boy!(sort of)

[iglooboy55]

damn mad paint skillz

[GirEatsChewyMeatPies]

banananananananananananananana­nanananaananananananananananan­ananananananananananananananan­ananananananananananananananna­nanananananananananananananana­nananananana

[Oddyssey5699]

i thought the mic wuz a penis!!!!!!!!!

[Deathstrom1850]

a donkey with some pizaza thats funny as hell

[thenegativecreepxx]

Banananananananana!

[golfcream]

happy brthday jesus

[zoza119]

the one about the drunk backseat guy was dane cooks but they both are awesome

[comicfanartist1]

actually dane cook has been accused of stealing for martin a couple times but dont say that to dane cook :)

[iglooboy55]

bah dane cook fails

[Shrubbs]

I liked the apple joke the best

[ziguri999]

roflmao, i wanna try mailing someone fruit...

[iamnotkris2]

or "its a boy...sort of"

[orangejump11]

wtf? isint that purswasive driver from mitch hedburg

[AphelionDustwake]

Might of been.

But he's dead.

his jokes are up for grabs.

[glabangsta666]

the pics really make it a lot funnier

[restxinxperfection]

"Jokes with a guitar" is alot funnier.

[bosen012]

The last joke is cut short though. That's when he says "It's a boy"...[sort of]

[Aim0n4slokkPlz]

Yeah, there is a show where he says that too, but I think he doesn't say it in the "If I" show, so that's probably the show this guy (making the vid) took it from...

[xleper17]

lol, i love the pics!

and i love demetri. <3

[darkmattersunshine]

i love your "what the hell is this" apple picture

[headknockinhoney]

hahah

[Milffa]

the hawk looks like itss farting

[ozzyblazer16]

"this is nice" LMAO

[lilbribriboy]

lmfao double hawk!!!

[AutisticWhoLives4God]

I love the fruit basket.

[livingindoubt123]

bananananananananannananannana­nanannananananannananannanana.­ is that enough?

[bshaffer2]

damn... ha ha! no one likes your comment. well, fuck them.

[uluvmovielongtime]

Double Hawk

[artisiancrumpets]

Bana. Keep going... Bananana-- D*MN.

[rifall]

I'm a virgin... sort of

You're so hot... sort of

This ivy looks okay... sort of

That milk's hasn't expired... sort of

your Cat's okay... sort of

I loved this video... sort of.

[UnpopularGoblin]

Double Hawk!!.....LOL!!!

[GoCubs530]

i like the giant cock that the stick figure is standing next to lol

[AkioUyoku]

it's a microphone...

[GoCubs530]

i know, it just looks like it, im not dumb