Added: 2 years ago
From: themanwhofellasleep
Views: 893
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  • Please stop! there is a frozen pea in my freezer with more wit...!

  • Monoceratophobia, the irrational fear of unicorns, is punishment visited by the gods upon those who have, whether intentionally or not, killed a mermaid. The only cure is a full and frank confession to the relevant authorities.

  • Before I saw this astounding expose, I thought I knew Simon Cowell intimately. Now I realise I had confused him with my former schoolfriend and prominent ear-waggler Simon Powell. Thanks!

  • The end? I hope not.

  • In many ways, my life has mirrored Cowell's.

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