I once read this thing on tumblr about how to keep yourself from getting raped. At first it was helpful information but then it just started to get into "If you see a any kind of guy, anywhere, he wants to rape you. Be paranoid. Always." I can kind of understand that that lady being all worried.
He kinda stole the chasing concept from comedian Michael Jr. look up "michael jr. - a brother jogging" its the same concept that michael jr did years before John
This little boy is too good. This guy is proof that if you are truly, truly, funny--you will never need to swear once. Just got into this guy and I've given thought to trying out comedy, and watching this guy is definitely a humbling experience: I am absolutely no where near as funny as this guy and I will likely never be.
@jd42305 No offense, but not swearing is not a prerequisite for comedy (or, as you say, "good" comedy). Many great comedians swear, as do many poor comedians. Don't pretend humor and "clean" language are related.
That wasn't my point. My point was there are some comics that are genuinely unfunny, and get laughs because they swear. Of course there is a plethora of comics who are genuinely funny who also swear, but my point is that those comics would be funny if they didn't swear.
It's just easier to tell that this guy is especially talented because he doesn't swear very often.
@jd42305 I think Jimmy Dore says it best when he says that George Carlin certainly took the easy way out, by talking about 7 words you can't say on TV. It's fine if you only like clean comedy, and I get your point that a "bad" word can elicit surprise, and by default, laughter. But sometimes profanity is needed, and using "clean" language wouldn't make your point. It's about dishonesty. I know many, many comedians who are clean as can be and aren't funny.
@comasmoky I never ever ever did say that profanity isn't needed in many jokes. Basically, all that I am saying is this:
There are comedians who swear that are funny. There are comedians that don't swear that come in both funny and unfunny varieties. But with comedians that are unfunny and swear, they try to be or appear to be funny by swearing constantly. Swearing can be def. used to enhance a joke, but it also can be used to attempt to be funny if you aren't.
@jd42305 So, saying that "(it's) proof that if you are truly, truly, funny- you will never need to swear once...." is misleading at best and just plain stupid at worst. So all the great authors don't use profanity? No R-rated movies are any good? Saying that vulgarity, or more aptly, profanity is only used by those that aren't "really funny" is doing yourself a disservice. I admire your attitude, but I don't think you know what you're talking about. Your opinion?
@comasmoky Ok, I don't know how you still can't see what I am saying. R rated movies are good because they use vulgarity and violence because they portray what happens in real life--it's about being honest.
If you swear all the time for emphasis in your daily discussions, you should swear the same when you're telling a joke. You're being honest with the audience. And on the same principle, if you don't ever swear--you should RELY on swearing in order to get a laugh.
@comasmoky@comasmoky Please watch this video of Ricky Gervais talking with Larry David about this matter: watch?v=gWgVr545yNA#t=5m38s
Gervais in the beginning of that part talks about how he saw comedians who only had punch lines that are swear words. They agree at the end and come to the conclusion that swearing can make a joke funny, but unfunny comics can pitifully attempt to swear all the time to try to appear funny.
THis guy is amazing, saw him for the first time yesterday and he's my new favorite. This whole thing is true though, guys our age think we're still boys, and think the word sees us that way too. I have no excuse though, I'm 28 (a year older than he is) and I weight 230lbs, women think I'm going to rape them A LOT!
Stop dressing like a rapist and start wearing some dockers slacks and a long sleeved button shirt. I'm pretty sure no ones ever been raped by someone with those clothes on..
I love his delivery and mannerisms. I forgot his name and it was killing me. Thank god I remembered. I loved this act when I saw it on Comedy Central!!! :)
@Bloodshotbuddah Why would you write the punch line in a comment, effectively ruining the joke for anyone who hasn't seen it yet?? And why would all of you upvote it... We truly are a wasted generation.
@sprouseter16 why would you write the punch line in a comment, effectively ruining the joke for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. And why would all of you upvote it. We truly are a wasted generation.
@miketeeth People quote things in comments to emphasize them because they thought they were funny. It's the same as repeating things Stewie says on Family Guy, or anything for that matter. We just rely on people like you to be intelligent enough to recognize this an enjoy the joke regardless. Alas, it seems you were unable to do so. For shame.
Well, a) it's a damned good joke, b) if you're from NY you actually GET IT, and c) can you do any better? Write hours of excellent material, I mean? If so, post it & let us all enjoy.
that's my Number One celebrity crush right there. one of these days i'm gonna accidentally find YOU somewhere along the L train late at night (where I often am) and you just better watch out, John Mulaney. i hope you have a personal travel-sized bottle of mace... but really, for my sake, i pray that you don't. god i fucking love you.
I'm not gunna rape u, I'm a little boy. My favorite stand up comedian :)
sambergluver 2 days ago
Fucking Hilarious
wvboarder2005 4 weeks ago
@playherone get a sense of humor retard
bcambaseball33 4 weeks ago
RIP Comix
GreenBlaze 4 weeks ago
I once read this thing on tumblr about how to keep yourself from getting raped. At first it was helpful information but then it just started to get into "If you see a any kind of guy, anywhere, he wants to rape you. Be paranoid. Always." I can kind of understand that that lady being all worried.
DeathnoteBB 4 weeks ago
Either way -gay or not- he's still a hottie..and pretty funny too.
RainbowKiid00 1 month ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
this guy sucks. thumbs fuckin down
playherone 1 month ago
He kinda stole the chasing concept from comedian Michael Jr. look up "michael jr. - a brother jogging" its the same concept that michael jr did years before John
ReverieImage 1 month ago
@ReverieImage Lots of comedians have used this social phenomenon as a theme.
NotADood 3 days ago
wait... why is he a little boy?
zxtristanxz 3 months ago
he said "she's going into that dead end shuffle, ya know, that women do when you chase them, ya know." LMFAO!!!!! Love it!
amflores01 3 months ago 2
I went to his show last night and his jokes are 10x funnier in person, I just couldn't stop laughing :P
tamversuschris 6 months ago
I am seeing this beautiful man next week and I could not be more excited. SO FUNNY
NewYorksNight 6 months ago
so i had to rape her. i really thought that would be the punchline
TheClassicAustin 7 months ago
he sounds like mathew broderick in ferris bueller day off.
VinniStaglianno 7 months ago 13
This joke is pretty much stolen
DyslexicTurtleFilms 7 months ago
LMAO! this guy is great!
CMETRIQUE 7 months ago
why are people laughing at this? Its boring.
potatodavid1987 7 months ago
Saw this guy in SF. Brilliant act! Highly recommend seeing him live.
cwaasen 7 months ago
"And adults rape each other! A lot!? Oh my god im laughing so hard!
MrEleveneven 7 months ago
"Quote from the video we all just watched"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA MY FAVE BIT LOL!
tontyismynameyeh 7 months ago 4
@tontyismynameyeh
Genius!
BigAndo21 6 months ago
Great stuff!
ppdpbaby 7 months ago
ROTFLMAO!! This dude is freaking hilarious!
DarknessQueen1996 7 months ago
SO funny!
MissMayakashi 8 months ago
what the hell is with the sex in these comments jesus and im not christian
nvidiaguy98 9 months ago
this guy's great
Chesterton7 10 months ago
Shit's true.
gerryn2 10 months ago
it donged on me OH!!! she was running from me LMFAO
ACEitachi96 10 months ago
@ACEitachi96
Dawned. It dawned on me.
kpxkrazy 8 months ago
He needs to be scared of being kidnapped… I'd love to steal him and bring him home… come here little boy and I'll make a BIG MAN outta you!
CanTake8 10 months ago 3
@CanTake8 He definitely needs to be worried about being snatched up in my area too - what a cutie!!!!
VooDooLynx 10 months ago
He needs to be scared of being kidnapped… I'd love to steal him and bring him home.
CanTake8 10 months ago
brilliant
dannyboy785 11 months ago
Funny and adorable. Goddammit, please fall in love with me.
cheesecake134 11 months ago
FUKING FUNNY!!!
DawNoFd3aTh 1 year ago
This is my favorite comedian EVER!
queenofhearts454 1 year ago
i love this gy
ezekielvictor 1 year ago
His album, The Top Part, is fucking awesome.
LawsonComedy 1 year ago
6 people have been raped. Sry
acemcjace169 1 year ago
He was funny when he was on SNL News Update talking about girl scout cookies
LaurenLovesJB 1 year ago 5
I love sending this video to my friends, it's hilarious!!!
LaurenLovesJB 1 year ago
he is SO cute... and funny lol
oiat 1 year ago
"that dead end shuffle that women do when you chase them"
"And Adults rape each other, kind of a lot."
"I'm not a Man"
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!! Funniest guy ever!
dreamergirl1293 1 year ago 4
ahh i love him<3
and hes cute.
muskymedinaa 1 year ago
This guy is awesome. Thanks for the video. Love at the end. "I'm not going to rape you! I'm a little boy!"
thehappyfaceofhalo 1 year ago
"it's a little weird because i'm still afraid of being kidnapped."
i cracked up xDD
thedoors720 2 years ago
This little boy is too good. This guy is proof that if you are truly, truly, funny--you will never need to swear once. Just got into this guy and I've given thought to trying out comedy, and watching this guy is definitely a humbling experience: I am absolutely no where near as funny as this guy and I will likely never be.
jd42305 2 years ago
@jd42305 No offense, but not swearing is not a prerequisite for comedy (or, as you say, "good" comedy). Many great comedians swear, as do many poor comedians. Don't pretend humor and "clean" language are related.
comasmoky 2 years ago
That wasn't my point. My point was there are some comics that are genuinely unfunny, and get laughs because they swear. Of course there is a plethora of comics who are genuinely funny who also swear, but my point is that those comics would be funny if they didn't swear.
It's just easier to tell that this guy is especially talented because he doesn't swear very often.
jd42305 2 years ago
@jd42305 I think Jimmy Dore says it best when he says that George Carlin certainly took the easy way out, by talking about 7 words you can't say on TV. It's fine if you only like clean comedy, and I get your point that a "bad" word can elicit surprise, and by default, laughter. But sometimes profanity is needed, and using "clean" language wouldn't make your point. It's about dishonesty. I know many, many comedians who are clean as can be and aren't funny.
comasmoky 1 year ago
@comasmoky I never ever ever did say that profanity isn't needed in many jokes. Basically, all that I am saying is this:
There are comedians who swear that are funny. There are comedians that don't swear that come in both funny and unfunny varieties. But with comedians that are unfunny and swear, they try to be or appear to be funny by swearing constantly. Swearing can be def. used to enhance a joke, but it also can be used to attempt to be funny if you aren't.
jd42305 1 year ago
@jd42305 So, saying that "(it's) proof that if you are truly, truly, funny- you will never need to swear once...." is misleading at best and just plain stupid at worst. So all the great authors don't use profanity? No R-rated movies are any good? Saying that vulgarity, or more aptly, profanity is only used by those that aren't "really funny" is doing yourself a disservice. I admire your attitude, but I don't think you know what you're talking about. Your opinion?
comasmoky 1 year ago
@comasmoky Ok, I don't know how you still can't see what I am saying. R rated movies are good because they use vulgarity and violence because they portray what happens in real life--it's about being honest.
If you swear all the time for emphasis in your daily discussions, you should swear the same when you're telling a joke. You're being honest with the audience. And on the same principle, if you don't ever swear--you should RELY on swearing in order to get a laugh.
jd42305 1 year ago
@comasmoky @comasmoky Please watch this video of Ricky Gervais talking with Larry David about this matter: watch?v=gWgVr545yNA#t=5m38s
Gervais in the beginning of that part talks about how he saw comedians who only had punch lines that are swear words. They agree at the end and come to the conclusion that swearing can make a joke funny, but unfunny comics can pitifully attempt to swear all the time to try to appear funny.
jd42305 1 year ago
"I'm not going to rape you, I'm a little boy." XDDDD
ghstgrl12 2 years ago 4
THis guy is amazing, saw him for the first time yesterday and he's my new favorite. This whole thing is true though, guys our age think we're still boys, and think the word sees us that way too. I have no excuse though, I'm 28 (a year older than he is) and I weight 230lbs, women think I'm going to rape them A LOT!
RightWingCon81 2 years ago 2
hahaha i saw him yesterday to x}
vandal87k 2 years ago
I love him!!
MovieStarJr1300 2 years ago 2
My goodness! John Mulaney is hilarious.
BeccaLaughsAtBecca 2 years ago 3
Reminds me of*
saurava44 2 years ago
He reminda me hugh grant.
saurava44 2 years ago
I especially love his delivery of, "Oh! She must hear the train coming! You know, or she feels it in her feet like a Native American in a movie."
berriesandcream33 2 years ago 2
<3♥<3 "im not a man!" LOL
1302jm 2 years ago
Haha, that happens to me too every now and then coming from the train station (without the chasing part).
I don't see any way what so ever to disarm the situation, so i learned to take it easy and let them have their paranoia until our ways part.
HiAdrian 2 years ago 2
Stop dressing like a rapist and start wearing some dockers slacks and a long sleeved button shirt. I'm pretty sure no ones ever been raped by someone with those clothes on..
samuraiyao 2 years ago
I love his delivery and mannerisms. I forgot his name and it was killing me. Thank god I remembered. I loved this act when I saw it on Comedy Central!!! :)
JohnnySwitchblade 2 years ago 4
i watched this one last night on comedy central..funniest thing ever! <3
alisonn321 2 years ago
Just saw him on Comedy Central last night!
Very funny!
AndrewSigwart 2 years ago 2
lolz!!
mooseontheceiling23 2 years ago
"and I'm gaining on her"
lmao
mariahrose210 2 years ago 2
In her mind im an adult......and adults rape each other
greatest line ever
Bloodshotbuddah 2 years ago 12
This has been flagged as spam show
@Bloodshotbuddah Why would you write the punch line in a comment, effectively ruining the joke for anyone who hasn't seen it yet?? And why would all of you upvote it... We truly are a wasted generation.
SmashBrosFan19 1 month ago
I also saw him on Jimmy Fallon !
yumpay 2 years ago
me tooooooo!
deadlyshott 2 years ago
i miss when he was on best week ever :(
peachsnappleisawesum 2 years ago
im glad im not the only one who looked him up cause he was on jimmy fallon. haha.
ShyKinkyPixie 2 years ago 4
haha yeah i looked him up too after i watched that fallon episode online
KelmeSc88 2 years ago
yeppers
MasterP4NDA 2 years ago
OMG he just did this on immy fallon....XD
ashluvsjb8 2 years ago
i heard these jokes on the jimmy fallon show...really funny
ThatKidMontana 2 years ago
BEST COMEDIAN EVER!
bubrub23 2 years ago
Did that dead end shuffle.
like girls do when ya chase em.
Ash9214 2 years ago
I'm not going to rape you, I'm a little boy, hahah
it sounds like some weird anime cartoon
edgeblackbelt 2 years ago
very funny!
ajbaker130 2 years ago
Hey! Long Island City is the shiznit!
Caqui 2 years ago
... im not a man!!!
♥
sccrfootbsk 2 years ago
Lol, Silly Michy, I'm a boy!
piotr490 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
"im not gonna rape you, im a little boy"
LMFAO!
sprouseter16 2 years ago 36
@sprouseter16 why would you write the punch line in a comment, effectively ruining the joke for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. And why would all of you upvote it. We truly are a wasted generation.
miketeeth 10 months ago 29
@miketeeth People quote things in comments to emphasize them because they thought they were funny. It's the same as repeating things Stewie says on Family Guy, or anything for that matter. We just rely on people like you to be intelligent enough to recognize this an enjoy the joke regardless. Alas, it seems you were unable to do so. For shame.
RBIVscreamtherequiem 1 month ago
@miketeeth Chill out, man, not the end of the world.
beantownkid38 1 month ago
@sprouseter16 Hey, cool! I watched that video too!
CosmicBard 7 months ago
@sprouseter16 Thanks for making it that much less funny when the punchline hits. We really appreciate it! Thanks so much!!! Asshat.
syri0 7 months ago
my goodness i'm so in love with this man! where IS he now!? i just must meet him!
rememberxjuly 2 years ago
He writes for SNL.
NateCartoons 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
this is this guys only joke, ive seen him use it verbatum like 4 other times
eamonwhite 2 years ago
Comment removed
SorryMrP 2 years ago
He has a whole comedy album, dont make blanket statements if you dont know shit.
SorryMrP 2 years ago 4
Well, a) it's a damned good joke, b) if you're from NY you actually GET IT, and c) can you do any better? Write hours of excellent material, I mean? If so, post it & let us all enjoy.
NiLochlainn 2 years ago 2
everyone hates hecklers, except the douche bag heckler
PancakeRecipes 2 years ago
what do you think comics do?...use a bit once and never again ...get a clue
speirsm 2 years ago
comedians reuse jokes at different events. ya know for people who haven't heard them
sandrokman 2 years ago 3
so funny
co0ookiecwisp356 2 years ago 2
i love him. perfect delivery.
CellarDoor98 2 years ago 4
sounds like matthew broderick
PhatJoseph 2 years ago 4
YEAH!
EternallyConfuzled 2 years ago
I couldn't breathe when he described chasing her, I was laughing so hard. Ahh I needed that.
raptorsigh 3 years ago 52
yay he is my favorite at vh1
malakrasy 3 years ago 5
that's my Number One celebrity crush right there. one of these days i'm gonna accidentally find YOU somewhere along the L train late at night (where I often am) and you just better watch out, John Mulaney. i hope you have a personal travel-sized bottle of mace... but really, for my sake, i pray that you don't. god i fucking love you.
RamseyScott 3 years ago 16
@RamseyScott Wait, are you a guy?
Tammc09 7 months ago
He has a voice like a sexy Dan Naturman
sajorojas 3 years ago
John Mulaney is always hilarious! His inflection never fails to make me laugh.
nurturingrain 3 years ago 7
easily the funniest of the last four posts
glib11 3 years ago 3