Added: 1 year ago
From: Wes964
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  • "No, not 'leepstick", it's 'lipstick.'" LOL, thanks, Mike.

  • How can mortal humans be so funny? I know they must script these, but still, to be able to hold forth so steadily and so consistently, it's staggering.

  • MR ANDERSON!!!

  • Will Ferrell!

  • He tried acting, it nearly KILLED him!

  • "Mr Mr Mr Anderson Mr Anderson Mr Mr Anderson!"

  • @Hammerman24 MR.... Anderson.

  • @johnhamilton08 Mr ANderson

  • Here's a fun bit of information for everyone. Agent Johnson was played by Daniel Bernhardt, the same guy who was the star of Future War. :D

  • @quigonnjon Future War? Oh, man, that explains a lot.

  • "my car!"

    :)

  • Jesus man, fix your volume balance before you do these things. You have to hear the dialogue to get some of the jokes in these things.

  • The volume difference between the movie and the riffs is way too big.

  • 5 people know binary.

  • At 3:25 the guys plug on his arm disappears!

  • I don't think the pancreas is located in his chest. :P

  • And now you know why adolescent boys should never write a movie.

  • "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!" Great line... lol

  • *SNORE* 

  • MY CAR!!!!

  • wordswordswords words words....words....

  • @bladeage

    "That's right, folks! THE ACTION FLICK OF THE SUMMER!"

  • "The Matrix" trilogy was like a night of drinking. At first, it starts out with just beer, keeping cool, watchable and understandable. Then, by the second movie, it's starting to get a little feeble-minded and moving on to hard liquor. By the third, it's stumbling incoherently until it finally passes out in a pool of its own vomit.

  • @Yapshire I'm going to name my first child after you for this. :p

  • @Halo4Lyf I'm flattered. Unfortunately, my real name is "Ohmygodwhatthehellisthatthing­!" My dad named me right when I came out.

  • @Yapshire You are made of win. I fell on the floor laughing at that comment.

  • "Oh no, not on MY time it isn't!" lmao YEP, that sums it ALL up! Thanks Kevin! lol

  • The Matrix movies aka The directors took one philosophy class in College and they think they're deep.

  • To sum up all the opinions of the sequels: It had too many unnecessary robots, prolonged dialogues, and long scenes. It did have some good scripting and other few things like graphics.

  • 5th base

  • (07:45-07:48) What did he said?

  • "but we wanna help uncle link find his cat!" lmao

  • Oh cmon wes, highway scene was a cool guy :(

  • Comment removed

  • Went directly to fifth base xD

  • @AxelXGabriel Uh, no. It's bad because it's boring exposition that goes on way too long, and the "truths" and "twists" that are "revealed" in it are never fully resolved. In fact, Revolutions even changes some of the things that the Architect says, rendering the whole long, boring, tedious scene utterly pointless.

  • @Wes964 Although I agree with you, all I could read was 'wordswordswordswordswords'. :)

  • @Wes964 Here's one way to fix that exposition scene.

    "I am the Architect. I created the Matrix. Five times, actually, and each time, someone like you would screw it up, because the Oracle told them to, essentially. Every time I recreated the Matrix, I felt that it was still imperfect - and humanity was always the root of that. Your "prophecies" were all bullshit concocted by the Oracle to convince proxies to fight me in her place, since she can't do so herself."

    Does that work?

  • @Wes964 I will say though, that one single line he says "She is going to die and there is nothing you can do to stop it." Sounded honestly very menacing and evil. But maybe that's just because it was short, to the point and didn't have huge words in it.

  • @Wes964 Kind of like the movie.....

  • @Wes964 continuity? whats that?

  • he's gonna do a powerpoint presentation...

  • All the cars in matrix are chevys ,the world is doomed.

  • 0:33 It's night, and she wears sunglasses AND a motorcycle helmet with the visor down? How the fuck can she see anything?

  • 0:43 My Car!!!!

  • "Wordswordswordswordswordsword­s..." XDXDXD

  • you never truly know someone until you fight them...

    that's bad news for my grandma.

  • "I want a new universe!" LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  • Will Ferrel!

    ...

    Will Ferrel's agent!

  • The Architect: Something something something matrix. Something something something the One.

  • I know these are just jokes but people hating on the star wars prequels is like having a drillbit in your toenail in September in Minnesota (whatever that means)

  • I didn't see The Matrix till about four years ago. Naturally, I LOVED it. A few weeks later, I decided to rent the second one. I watched it, and was so fucking confused I immediately went out and rented the third one. I figured that the third one would at least make sense of the second one. I'm surprised I didn't have a stroke after I finished Revolutions. Worst movie experience ever.

  • I was thinking, no you weren't.

  • Love Rifftrax, love this series. One of the greatest metaphors for the spiritual journey. Really love the Ken Wilber commentary on it in the special edition. Thanks for the post.

  • 05:31 - Mr. Anderson Mr. Anderson Mr. Anderson Mr. Anderson (Mr. Anderson) (Mr. Anderson) (Mr. Anderson) (Mr. Anderson) CONTINUED

  • Oops. Pirates is no longer a trilogy. What they do for money....sigh....

  • I have to take exception with Mike and the boys on one point.....the Pirates of the Carribbean trilogy starting sucking in the second movie too! But it was The Godfather compared to this shit!

  • @dignankumar I've actually only seen the first Pirates movie. I thought it was pretty good, but not good enough that I'd bother with seeing the sequels. Nothing I've heard from anyone who saw the sequels has changed my mind.

    Side note: I haven't seen any of the Harry Potter movies yet, but from what I've heard they're the exact opposite--the first two are bad and then it gets better after that. Kinda makes me want to watch them. Gotta love a franchise that gets BETTER with the sequels. :)

  • @Wes964 Like Matrix: Reloaded I saw Pirates 2 in the theater and I've never been more angry at wasting $ or 2+ hours of my life! I wasn't sure if I liked the second Matrix when I saw it. Now ironically I hate it even more and I think it's because Pirates 2 was just dumb fun while the Wachowski bros. have NO sense of humor and take all of their retarded, pretentious, philosophy bullshit seriously. Needless to say I never saw the third film in either trilogy. Fool me once.....

  • @Wes964 They lied to you bro, it only gets worse on Harry Potter.

  • @RetributionLife wouldn't be the first time I was misled about a franchise. Hell, roger ebert gave speed 2 a positive review. Fucking speed 2. If that movie can get a positive review, any movie can.

  • @Wes964 I don't know, the last two weren't so bad. Four was AWFUL.

  • @Wes964 Harry Potter gets better with age, if you ask me.

  • @Wes964 Strangest sequel bloc is the Terminator series. 

  • @Wes964 Well, he must have been getting on in years....

  • @Wes964 for the life of me, i actually thought that was when Roger Ebert started medicinal marijuana, I have not heard evidence to the contrary but it kind of explains some reviews

  • @Wes964 no way man! harry potter is pure WIN throughout, give it a watch when u get a chance

  • @RetributionLife no way bro, i love how the story develops as it goes on.

  • @RetributionLife Lies from the Meyer crowd! Lies I tell you!

  • @Wes964 Just my opinion, but the Potter movies are really very good. I really hope you don't decide not to ever watch them. I agree that they sagged a little after the first two, (I think all the elements were in place in those, but the death of Richard Harris and the loss of John Williams due to scheduling brought down the later movies a bit - plus, they just weren't quite as magical) but they're all better than any of the Pirates movies, and certainly better than Speed two, or THIS crap.

  • @Wes964 You have no idea how epic Hallows part 2 is.

  • @dignankumar too bad godfather is an overated piece of shit

  • "I thought you would have figured that out by now."

    "Aha. You forget that I'm an idiot!"

  • 'My car!!'

  • MY CAR!

  • HAHA.

    "I stopped paying listening when the albinos got blown up."

    (pause)

    "What albinos?"

  • @544001 Sure.

  • I could go for a long, long quidditch scene ANY TIME. <3

  • "Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson. Mr Anderson. Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson."

    Rofl

  • Hey, I liked all three movies.

  • Matrix 2 and 3 sucked. Thank the Great Raptor Jesus for Rifftrax!

  • Ah my car!!

  • The sequels are okay when treated as one long movie with the original. Either way, the whole series is a bunch of bullshit. A fun bunch of bullshit, but bullshit nonetheless.

  • @gidget144 your theories/opinions are dumb and wrong.  the first movie was amazing and the next two sucked. that is all.

  • Gotta say that Hugo Weaving was a fucking monster in this movie. He was the reason to watch.

  • Probably my favorite Rifftrax. This movie needed to be torn a new one.

  • Why was she wearing the glasses UNDERNEATH the shaded helmet at the very beginning?

  • @roetheboat1 I was going to point that out too. I hope trinity can drive a motorcycle blind. What a second...

  • "Pass me that bacon, will ya?"

  • Warning: You must have a sense of humor to watch this video.

  • 7:53 It's Richard Nixon!!!

  • 5:45 mmMMmm

  • "That's like going to FIFTH base!!"

    X-D Yeah, when I first saw that scene, it felt a little awkward...

  • "Still using every muscle, except the one that matters."

    Okay, that line doesn't even make sense.

  • "This is exactly what happens when you push a heard of Mormon missionaries to far!"

    I'm Mormon and I LOVEEE that joke XDDD

  • pass me that bacon, will ya?

  • 5:31 XD

    7:53 XD XD XD

  • 5:31

    XD XD

  • @Guyect It's called the zeitgeist and it's been the driving force behind a great many unspeakable things. It's why Twilight is currently a cultural phenomenon. It's responsible for talentless human waste like the entire Kardashian family, Vanilla Ice and Pauly Shore being household names. It's also the reason it was socially acceptable at one terrible, terrible point in history to do the macarena in public.

  • Ugh, only one guy lives his life as a patronizing, computerized, lie.

  • -Ah, so the nature of the Universe is a date-rape drug slipped to us by a creepy French man.

    -I... wanna new Universe...

  • Wow 2003 already feels like a long time ago. I can't believe I actually once thought this movie was cool.

  • 5:46

    Hm? Oh-uh I'm sorry. I blacked out for a second.

    Proof that God loves mankind.

  • Will farrell! Will farrell's agent!

  • 1 of u guys was Tom Servo wornt u?

  • @Shard18

    Actually its Michael J Nelson aka Mike, Kevin Murphy aka Servo and Bill Corbett Aka Crow from SciFi era.

  • you know, when I saw the matrix sequels in the theaters, I was somewhat entertained by them, but I can't for life of me remember how anymore.

  • @Guyect I saw them in theaters too, and this was my reaction at the time:

    Reloaded -- Hey, uh, that was cool, right? I mean, the rave scene sucked balls, and so did the architect scene, but it's the middle child in the trilogy, so they must be setting something up. Right? It's still a good movie, right? Right?

    Revolutions -- That SUCKED! Holy shit that was awful.

    If Revolutions had been good, it would have excused Reloaded. But Revolutions was horrible, so Reloaded's problem were not resolved

  • @Wes964 I seriously remember everyone staring at each other dumbfounded at the end of Revolutions. We thought we had gotten a faulty cut and the movie had ended 5 minutes early. Like "What? Really? THAT'S the real ending?!"

  • @Wes964

    Felt like they were setting up to something, ANYTHING, but it just comes crashing down and makes Reloaded look kinda pointless.

  • But we wanna help Uncle Link find his cat!!!!

  • "Mmmm.... That glass of water looked good."

    Me: 'What glass of water?'

    XD

    I admit it! I was looking at her boobs.

  • The only good thing about this movie: Monica Bellucci.

    Then again, she tends to be the best thing about whatever movie she's in.

  • @Aijalon2520 You are 100% correct. When I was watching Irreversible, during that incredibly disturbing rape scene, I couldn't stop myself from thinking, "Damn, Monica Bellucci is HOT." I don't know if that makes me a pervert or not...

  • @Wes964 The only thing not quite perfect-ten about Monica Bellucci: she virtually *never* smiles. Oh sure, she gives a sly little smirk when she says to Monsieur Cliché "she wasn't kissing your face", but I'm talking about a happy, toothy, beaming smile. But I suppose if she smiled thus, it would shatter the mysteriously melancholy Euro-gorgeousness aura she's cultivated. /shrug

  • @Aijalon2520 I'll admit to having limited experience with her work, but has she ever played a character for whom such a smile would make sense? She always seems to play a mysterious, melancholy, gorgeous European type in all her films.

    I'd like to see her go completely out of her comfort zone and play... I don't know, a happily married American suburban housewife or something of that nature. Simple, but difficult in it's own way.

  • @Aijalon2520 I agree. She even made The Passion of the Christ tolerable for a moment. I remember watching it and while everyone in the theater was either moved or grossed out I was thinking, "Damn, Mary Magdalene is hot. Let he who is w/o sin cast the first boner."

  • 4:49 had me cracking up. "What? Wait, who made that rule?"

  • The day they die... I die :'[

  • what are these three talking about? The meaningless fight scenes in this movie are way better than Quittace, Pod Racing, and the Starwars III finalie fight combined.

  • Bout the only good one this one missed is "HI MOM!!" from the rave scene.

  • "man it's dark in here!"

    takes of helmet

    "Ah! so much better"

    XD

  • I don't get it. they hate action sequences, they hate talkie scenes. I'm beginning to think they are deliberately being obtuse in their commentary!

  • @miniges Well, the action sequences got to be a little too long and even a little boring after a while, and the talky scenes were not very well written and kind of hard to follow at points. We can all love both kinds of scenes when they are executed well and maintain our interest in what is going on. In the case of the Matrix sequels, they failed to keep our interest in both talky and fight scenes.

  • @40Pacino

    It must be a personal taste thing because i had no problem following the talky scenes. It's not rocket science, about which they were talking. And frankly, the highway action sequence is probably, if not the best, one of the best action sequences in the trilogy.

  • @miniges

    ...best, and very very boring. never been so bored with life and death (plus a flying goth-superman) in my life.

  • @40Pacino

    And there's no story. And there are no characters. And there's no point.

  • @miniges

    they hate long, boring action sequences (isn't "boring action sequence" a contradiction??). and they hate listening to the guy who invented KFC babble on and on and on about "causality" and "repeating" and "secret recipe" (actually i made that one up).

  • Godfather syndrome, loved that part. I love the Godfather movies, but I know exactly what they are talking about

  • Matrix 2: Electric Bugaloo

  • I wanna new universe!

  • Uggh I'd blocked that sex scene from my memory WHYYYYY.

  • @lizerman74 It really is one of the most disgusting things ever filmed.

  • @Wes964 It looks like a satanic ritual.

  • @Wes964 I agree. The actress who played trinity was just not attractive enough for a sex scene that graphic.

  • @SAOrules Not attractive enough? You must be joking.

  • @Wes964 Still not quite as bad as the sex scenes in The Room.

  • @Wes964 what about the rape scene from clockwork orange?

  • @TheMrcrazy711 Not as disturbing as Keanu Reeves' boney ass.

  • @Wes964 true

  • This is one of the best rifftrax to date hahaha god it's so hilarious.

  • all 3 matrix riffs are the funniest friggin things ive seen (well, heard) in a long time. im lucky they havent gotten me in trouble at work at the library from not being able to hold it in any longer. (...laughter, not farts)

  • @GrizDrummer25 why not laughter and farts?

  • TETSUOOOOO!!!!!!!!

  • DAMNIT MATRIX RELOADED!  SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MIKE??!

  • I keep thinking of so many MST3K lines for the Architect scene:

    "Please, God, cut away to anything, please!"

    "If ever a scene cried out for Tolberone!"

    "I'm going to start looking at your shoes, it'll make as much sense as this."

    "The banjo becomes angry at midnight, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

  • "Tell us who to blame for our problems!" "Erect a golden statue of yourself!"

    "Aka, "I typically don't ask for my money back, but I'm willing to make an exception"

  • the matrix was there boldly flaunting convention and sucking in part 2

  • "Matthew McCoungahey has the only other room like this in existence."

    "Wordswordswordswordswords..."

    "The instruction manuel to my snowblower is gripping compared to this clown!"

    "It's a bomb."

    "No, it's just a dog, the next movie, now that's a bomb!"

    TO BE CONCLUDED

    "Oh, no, not on my watch it isn't!"

  • @Anynom Holy crap, dude, is this all you do?

  • @DenOfVipers I like having Anynom around. He provides predictability and stability to the Rifftrax videos. You can always count on him to show up and quote his favorite lines. :)

  • @Wes964 I guess it wouldn't irk me even a little if he got more than half of them right...Every time I see it, it seems like he's in a hurry to quote 20 or 30 lines literally the hour a vid goes up.

    I'll give him credit, though: he's the only Youtube commenter I've seen who spells "existence" right. :)

  • @DenOfVipers Well, I don't do it for EVERY Rifftrax. Even with the guys I can't sit through the Star Wars Holiday Special enough to pick lines from it.

  • "Wow, Pepe Le Pew was less of a cliche."

    "Soon the why and reason are gone."

    "Oh that left this movie a long time ago, PIerre."

    "Cool but I can get this from NASCAR and not have three hours of pretentious twaddle bookending it."

    "We are getting aggravated."

    "So the twins represent the audience."

    "What if this is all bullshit."

    "What do you mean, what IF?!"

  • "Boldly flaunting convention and sucking in part two!"

    "Furnishing by Ikea's people who willed their apartments to their cats collection."

    "When gym teachers act."

    "Mr The Shark? The Matrix is here for its 10 o'clock jumping."

    "Aha, you forget that I'm an idiot."

    "It'll be over soon."

    "A little reassurance to an increasingly restless audience."

    "Mental midget tossing."

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