Ben & Arthur - 4/11

[nanimawa]

I think the homemade techno music is hilarious.

[WaterPuppet]

What a wonderful dinner xD

[WaterPuppet]

*Boom, boom, plop*

[WastedPo]

Considering the cult success of the Room, it's surprising that the makers of this movie haven't tried to promote this in a similar manner.

[hypnoxxcat]

If they tried to make Victor straight, they did a horrible job.

If they tried to make Victor a closeted homosexual, they did an ever horrible-er job. He could have at least tried to HIDE it. Bleached blonde hair? That shirt at 1:37? A fake plant with Christmas lights? Come on now...

[sirable1]

the only odd thing about this movie is that Victor looks gayer than Arthur

[guamley]

"Hey Victor, this is Justin Abraham"

"Yes, your getting some information for me"

Just in case people forgot the scene 2.4 seconds prior. Remember Justin is a private eye for those with short term memory loss.

[LyubaAllenovna]

Боже мій! Who the hell wrote this shite?

[TimCollinsATL]

I could shoot a better film than this on my iPhone if it accidentally started filming while in my pocket.

[fivecords5]

C'mon Ben, we're outta here...but let me first finish this pop tart.

[FFF1987RETURNS]

6:52 ANOTHER actor looks at the camera!

[UofLCardFan08]

Doogie Howser, P.I.

[mistacramer]

The missionary position? Is this a subtle hint at the fact that he does need prayed for?

[JackKlompus13]

Wow. Freaking weird casting decisions! 

[Horrorbuff2]

"I don't need prayed for. You need prayed for!"

[ROBK34c]

i love this movie-----wait im not gay like the guys in the movie =(......i mean =)

[drc1981]

@ROBK34c Don't worry; I love laughing at this nonsense and I'm straight as an arrow

[EatMyDiction1]

"I don't need prayed for, YOU need prayed for." -No one ever catches that line, it fucking kills me every time.

[mistacramer]

@EatMyDiction1

I don't get it...maybe I need prayed for ;)

[Squiddlysplooch]

The guy that plays Ben needs an award just for not violently vomiting every time he kisses that thing called Arthur.

[MacGovernor]

I think that the original score should've been nominated at the Academy Awards.

[bradlyboy24]

ya after viewing it a second time i realized that my bad lol

[bradlyboy24]

am i the only one that noticed he shoot the attorney lady thru the windshiled but it doesnt break hmmm

[UofLCardFan08]

@bradlyboy24

He sticks the gun into her open window.

[TheeMysteryHour]

I know this has the missionary position gay sex scene, but I was irked more by how the actor who played the "private investigator" was so obviously only payed for 5 seconds of material that they then tried to work around.

[HiloPicolo123]

Oh, and also, @6:32, you can see the reflexion of the camera in the glass framed photo hanging on the wall.

Good job Sam. Good job.

[HiloPicolo123]

Another indication that this movie is horribly made: the lawyer that Victor is waiting for, can be seen in her car as he walks down the street @3:38.

[TheGudZeBadAnDaFozzy]

The PI looks more like a rent boy, he charges just as much anyway

[Holimeister]

@Ichenmeis Huh. I have no recollection of making that comment. My apologies.

[sirable1]

that victor guy looks alot like Bruno

[rnigma]

@sirable1 - he does at that!

[lexii314]

OK, I've seen some really bad films. But this one takes that cake! Not to mention the elevated cheese factor. WOW!! Unbelievable.

[darkmoonangel13]

Ooooooooh angry womanson a mission!

And what ga e we learned from dinner tonight??? Were all going to hell!

[Ichenmeis]

@Holimeister How DARE you talk to your brother like that!

[MrSabaspice]

OM..there are 7 more parts to this?

[drc1981]

@MrSabaspice come on, you can do it, go for it!

[Mariocesar]

US$ 800 dollars a day...I`m gonna become an Intern P.I. ASAP

[greycolumbus]

Cat tree cat doesn't care about gay drama.

[1718rr]

dude that guy victor looks so gay,dyed blonde hair and one of the gayest shirts ive seen on a man ,im gay and i dont wear stuff that gay

[123benny4]

obviously he went to get flowers first. Besides Ben being cute this movie sucks.

[aubergine2c]

Perkele, that 'sex' scene is enough to make me turn into a heterosexual Communist.

[zomgthesoftness]

Why does the brother shoot the lawyer? Assuming he just saw a picture of here, it's mighty quick that he finds out where she lives and catches her JUST as she comes home. Also, why doesn't anyone seem to care that the lawyer friend who's just saved Ben and Arthur's ass has been shot and killed?

Plus, can't the crazy brother have children of his own? Oh well, I guess I need prayed for to understand this horrible film.

[Moviewatcher1981]

What the hell does Victor do for a living? 10 grand to a church, $800 a day to burn on an intern PI, I want in on whatever he does.

[ConfusedSponge]

@Moviewatcher1981 he paints potraits of jesus.

[Moviewatcher1981]

@Moviewatcher1981 and another 8 grand to just toss out to a brother you hate and haven't even seen for many years.

[brandonsexywhitaker]

where is victor getting all this money? and the intern said its $100 per day. then victor gave him $500 then justin said it would take two days. victor does not seem to care he over paid $300. victor makes bank apparently lol

[0Feathers0]

what does victor do to have so much money?!

[Abazigal]

@0Feathers0

Markets his own "Holy Water Gay Cure" (or "Water In A Shampoo Bottle") to naive and trusting fundamentalist churches.

[Ichenmeis]

"How DARE you talk to your brother like that!" :D

[ConfusedSponge]

sam is really low.

[ConfusedSponge]

he ripped off scarface what people don't know that he ripped off top gun too! even more than scarface, from a-z! guess, people! which scene? the infamous sex scene of course. top gun is an equally crappy gayfest movie, even worst because it's a mainstream movie with a big budget! the dark room. the dimmed light setting. the bluish light! leaning to the wall thing. the kiss. the bed scene. the missionary position! i'll get into that later. the flowers and note on the pillow beside him/her thing

[ConfusedSponge]

@ConfusedSponge he thought he was kelly mcgillis hence the missionary position. lol. ben was tom cruise. lol. you see. he thought that we are stupid not to notice because he has changed a few things. please sam. in top gun, tom leaves the note and flowers who supposed to be ben. in ben & arthur, arthur@sam who supposed to be the kelly mcgillis aka the girl is the one who leaves the stuff. lol. top gun used take my breath away as the background music while ripped of a tune from asian soap 4da bg

[rnigma]

@ConfusedSponge - I'll say it again: his ego's writing checks his movie can't cash!

Also, he reuses the Asian soap music in Ben's death scene....

[QuietGiantProduction]

the music at 7:18 sounds similar  to the 2 girls 1 cup video.

[rnigma]

@QuietGiantProduction - and it gives viewers the same feeling of nausea.

[0Feathers0]

@rnigma victor is in porn films. Maybe that explains it.

[TheUTubeRebel]

so the flamboyant, blonde guy wearing a tank top is the straight one, and the guy with no fashion sense is the gay one... MAKES NO SENSE

[ADashOfHemlock]

Notice that he looks under 'private investigator' which told him to look for 'investigator' yet he turns pages to the RIGHT. Would it really be that difficult to get the alphabet right?

[ConfusedSponge]

@ADashOfHemlock good eye

[KrankesDasein]

Is it just me or does their height fluctuate a lot? Notice how when they return from Victor's house, Arthur towers over Ben, but right before the "love" scene, Ben seems taller.

[drc1981]

@KrankesDasein Yea I've noticed that too; knowing Sam's current transvestite phase, I would guess he was wearing ladies high heels in the taller scenes, and not wearing them in the other.

[QuietGiantProduction]

wow, the budget must of been so low. I mean for them to have graham cracker dinner?

[drc1981]

Yea, how DARE he feed his brother like that!

[mdeonx16]

I'M HUUUUGE!

[OUIJA24]

wtf is up with the token club music at 3:50. this movie is so bad it 's good. i can't stop laughing

[QuietGiantProduction]

at 5:50 he had trouble saying 5 days a week. lol

[robbyten100]

THIS IS SOOOO HORRIBLE!!! Their acting is so bad it makes me feel like vomiting.

[archer1949]

The "music" at the end of this clip is annoying as hell!

[cerzule]

@archer1949 -- I definitely agree, but it's like a Beethoven symphony compared to "Let's Go"!

[rahayes1950]

Every body looks gayer than Aurthor

[drc1981]

and more attractive than Arthur too.

[fittirc]

errrrr...........this is so damn cheezy

[ConfusedSponge]

idk why this crap never got the recognition that it deserved. except the imdb's bottom 100. critics and other sites never ever mentioned once that this is the worst movie of all time. never made any other lists other than imdb's. worst in history list or even films that considered the worst. roger ebert never criticized this crap too. plan 9 and manos got the recognition they deserved as the worst and made the list on various sites and even people talk about it. critics labeled....

[ConfusedSponge]

....bashed plan 9 and manos. not b&a. both got riffed by mstk3k. if mst3k get back on air, please do this crap on the 1st episode. whyyyy? manos was made by a nobody too.

[drc1981]

1:18, I love how EVERY sound effect in this damn thing sounds like flatulence.

[SamMraovich09]

teh soudns were good

[ConfusedSponge]

more like you're farts were good. in other word, NOOOO!!!

[limelightdeath]

Ben,

Went to get food so I can stuff my fat, ugly face. Maybe if youre lucky, youll get my leftovers.

Love ya!

<3 Your fat f--- of a husband, Arthur

[drc1981]

LOL  good one

[Moviewatcher1981]

Ben's thoughts after reading,  "That's ok, I'm just going to stay here and sleep in this bed. It's not like I do anything else in life. Talk to you soon Arthur."

[UKGift]

who eats crackers for dinner?

[drc1981]

guys who have $10,000 to give to a crappy looking church and $8,000 to give on a whim to a brother he hates and hasn't seen for years, go figure

[aubergine2c]

This is why you shouldnt drink direct/write a film.

[NuclearPlanet]

the camera shaky? this is what they show to good filmmakers in hell.

[Moviewatcher1981]

Did Victor really need to hire an INTERN PI to find out what the "next move" would be? Shouldn't it be obvious what a newly wed gay couple would do? A honeymoon followed by horribly ranchid sex? What a waste of money.

[zaftigzig]

victor is the straight one? he looks gayer than ben!

[Moviewatcher1981]

I think everyone in this movie is gay/lesbian in real life. The male lawyer could be the one exception.

[cerzule]

"We don't need prayed for - YOU need prayed for."

My IQ dropped 38 points after hearing this line.

[ConfusedSponge]

lol

[cygnus122]

"we're leaving"

"we're leaving"

"let's go"

"let's go"

[drc1981]

Yea; sounds more like a 1st grade classroom at the end of the day.

[Toastishott]

6:18 No need to take your anger out on an innocent graham cracker! :c

[Orypeci]

There are a helluva lot of things I want to point out, but the most recent one is:

So...Arthur woke up...went out...bought fresh flowers...came back...put them on the way-too-small for-two-people-bed...wrote a note explaining that he was going out (again)... went out (again)...aaaaand I'm assuming came back with food.

Maybe it's just me, but isn't that unnecessarily complicated? Why not just get food and flowers at the same time? Why write a note that wasn't necessary the first time?

[drc1981]

Nice observation. I've honestly given up on expecting anything in this to make sense.

[ConfusedSponge]

yeah no food

[Orypeci]

" We don't need prayed for! YOU NEED PRAYED FOR!"

You really don't give a shit, do you Sam?

Graham Cracker dinners, lines like 'prayed for', dramatic phone book searching...you really don't care at all.

[simian455]

OMG DEFINTE TOP GUN FIXATION!!!!!

[DarthVader28]

Why didint he just pick hawaii the plam trees would made alot more sense..

Cant forget the magic sweater that was unforgivable.

[drumwolfmail]

I'm taking film classes and have worked on a couple of short film shoots so I too know how hard it is to make a film at all. But there's still no excuse for things like palm trees in Vermont or using a shot of a FedEx cargo plane to show that you're flying cross-country. Or making that "OOOHHHH!!!" moan off-camera in the first video. Or making your fat, flabby self the only actor to be nude.

[drc1981]

Now you know what NOT to do when you start making movies. lol

[esmifrado]

@drumwolfmail man its ok to make that ...but never to release it ^^

[skyemcleod1]

haha-exactly! The symbolism of this film should be studied with care!For instance,

"Crackers" could mean so many things:

white trash=cracker white bread=cracker

crazy person=crackers

[ConfusedSponge]

talking about the razzies. why didn't this movie even get nominated? it should win every single category of that year! including all the awards of the decade, 25 years and even the nillenium

[ConfusedSponge]

1. arthur has a pussy. hahaha

2. he said love twice in such a short note. almost back-to-back.

4. when you want to go to kill somebody don't forget to lock your car....

i wanted to write 4 comments but i thought i should waited until part 4 finished but somehow i have forgotten the 3rd comment. i'll post it later if i remember it later

[ConfusedSponge]

this piece of shit was so low-budget that they couldn't even afford to buy or cook burgers for the dinner scene! a piece of cracker for each person!

[skyemcleod1]

There's probably a deeper meaning in the crackers feast that we mere mortals are missing...

[skyemcleod1]

lol Ben looked kinda scary when they got back from the graham cracker feast. Something possesd him there...

And then it looked like Victor and his buddy were about to make out! haha Sam missed his chance to crete a layered character --well-besides Tammy,of course...

[skyemcleod1]

OMG! haha--5 stars for the use of Korean soap music! Sam's into recycling.

So environmentally aware! He also recycles a car in some scenes. And reuses Mildred in others.

[ConfusedSponge]

why didn't they sue his fat hairy lardy ass?

[TheWatcher337]

That dinner looks delicious.

"We don't need prayed for. You need prayed for."

[skyemcleod1]

evgenijpro~I still think your comment is the funniest one! Oh, God, and too right. lol

[skyemcleod1]

When that cute little PI boy appears, he looks SOOo young! and innocent. Like a freshman High Schooler. But the music is like macho-JAWS! haha

[Moviewatcher1981]

The very first time I watched this movie, I wanted to give it a chance. But somewhere between 11 credits for the same fat fuck, and then the movie opens with that same fat fuck sleeping in bed all dressed and his shoes on, I gave up on it.

[sarumanstrength]

There are awesome and memorable movie quotes like, "This is Sparta!" and "I am Beowulf!"

Then there are quotes like

Oh my Goooooooooooooood from Troll 2

Garbage Day and....

YOU FUCK

[drc1981]

I meant to say......... Don't forget OOOOOOOOH the greatest unscripted line since "You're going to need a bigger boat"

[WarlordXVII]

You guys forgot about: "I don't make sense - you don't make sense - I make sense, that's who makes sense!"

[skyemcleod1]

And what about "...rejects to recognise"?! Goes with "Frankly my dear..."

[ConfusedSponge]

i know! that's the best line/quote ever. not in a good way though

[AngelofMusic04]

Another good one is BASTARD! BAAAAAAASTAAAAAAARRRRRRRRDDDD! BASTARD! from Pieces.

[bgfilms]

oh come on, does that 1993 dodge neon REALLY have keyless entry?

[skyemcleod1]

Tammy says "I can't believe I'm gonna do this."~no comment needed on that!

The muisic at 8:54 sounds like my kid playing around with the keyboard right before I lose my mind and yell "STOP IT!"

[WarlordXVII]

Madam, if your keyboard has an audio out terminal on the back, I suggest you buy a 6.3mm jack and a set of headphones.

That way, your child can play all he/she wants, and you won't hear a thing(Well, unless the child has the volume knob on max level, that is).

[skyemcleod1]

haha-yeah, she has one of those, too. I exaggerated. She's actually talented unlike the "talent" that did the soundtrack here.

[WarlordXVII]

Agreed. This soundtrack is beyond terrible. He managed to ruin both "Canon in D" and "The Entertainer" with those horrible "midi-file" interpretations. The rest of the "soundtrack" is poorly made synthesizer sounds, as well as that "love theme".

Also, the man should never be allowed anywhere near a synthesizer again. Synthesizer programming, is obviously one of the things Sam thinks he is capeable of, when that is not the case at all(along with acting, directing, producing etc)

[drc1981]

Sam Mraovich couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat. This guy screws up everything he ever tries or thinks he can do.

[WarlordXVII]

4:34 The lawyer only has one hand on the steering wheel.

4:35 She suddenly has both her hands on the steering wheel. A dead person!

[rnigma]

Good eye! I really didn't notice that till you pointed it out. As Victor shoots the attorney, only her right hand grips the wheel. But in the very next shot, as Vic turns and runs, BOTH of the lawyer's hands are on the wheel!

[ConfusedSponge]

i know ahhaha. this is an unintentional zombie movie

[WarlordXVII]

3:39 You can see the lawyer's car waiting on the street.

[skyemcleod1]

OMG!!!

He's a mystery person! How does he get funding for these alleged films?! I hope his parents can get Medicaid!

[Moviewatcher1981]

My guess is he had some pro-homosexuality group give him a few bucks when he said he was making a homosexual-themed movie. From what he came up with though, they either didn't give Sam much money, or Sam pocketed most of it.

[WarlordXVII]

He probably paid out of his own pocket. I really doubt this "movie" had a budget of more than 40$.

[skyemcleod1]

Cinema spectacular! : All they do is look up numbers and call people constantly. /The PI's pants look like his mom bought them at Sears.~Muy professional!!!/ Arthur angrily slaps down his graham cracker! -THAT'LL show 'em!

[drc1981]

If you enjoyed that part, "Yearbook Friends" is a 4 minute masterpiece of that whole concept. Wanna take a guess who made that movie too??

[AngelofMusic04]

I read his mom DID buy them at Sears only a few hours before he shot his scene to congratulate him for appearing in a "big boy movie."

[skyemcleod1]

lol-I can only add that in addition to the pants-she found socks and whitie-tidies on sale! ~Everything a jr. PI needs!

[birchual]

6.54 looks at the camera

[ConfusedSponge]

where please tell me

[skyemcleod1]

First cue that it's on: BEN REMOVES ARTHUR'S GLASSES! ~ooh-HOTTT!! lol

[skyemcleod1]

Your comment is hilarious and true!

[skyemcleod1]

Oh, Lord...NOT a love scene! The actor playing Ben must've been desperate for money! lol he keeps sniffing those flowers-but that kind has no scent!

[drc1981]

DO NOT WANT!

[skyemcleod1]

The guy playing Victor should've switched roles with Sam! He looks like a cool gay guy . lol"Arthur" looks like he should be offering fries with that Happy Meal.

[Moviewatcher1981]

Every gay person I've ever met is a decent cool person; none of them ever act like this dude; no wonder gay people hate this movie

[Abazigal]

After Victor "shoots" the attorney, her hands change positions between shots. And not a cutaway shot, it just zooms out a bit.

Dead people must move in Mraovich land, along with instant-on shirts, fed ex transport, vermont palm trees and someone actually dating Sam Mraovich.

[Moviewatcher1981]

Good point as far as someone actually dating Mraovich; If I was that priest who married these two losers, my first remarks would have been to Ben, "Uh, what in the blue hell do you see in THAT guy?"

[skyemcleod1]

And part of the blue hell is his terrible wedding jacket!

[ConfusedSponge]

haha

[ConfusedSponge]

LoL

[Abazigal]

"I think it's morally wrong, what you're doing"

Whoa, check out that social commentary from Sam Mraovich! George Romero who?

[AngelofMusic04]

Um, isn't the point of a P.I. is that they have NO personal opinion of the people they're spying on?

[Abazigal]

Well they obviously are allowed have a personal opinion, they're just not meant to express it. That is, if they have taken the case, they can refuse if they like.

But this is in "P.I. Intern" anyway, so I guess things that don't exist have different rules governing them.

[drc1981]

Kind of hard for anyone to NOT make an opinion on those two guys

[Moviewatcher1981]

I think it's just happened; their screen name is "Sammraovich09"  lol

[Benji9999999999999]

Wait... is this a real movie?

[Moviewatcher1981]

Allegedly, although you have to put an asterik beside it because I think Sam Mraovich is on performance decreasing drugs.

[Moviewatcher1981]

Oh really? Funny, I don't remember your fat ass anywhere on the red carpet that year. Are you sure you weren't at the Razzies instead?

[Abazigal]

The Razzies are far too good for the likes of him.

[pyram1dhead]

I've watched this something like six times and I STILL can't make heads or tails of Ben's line at 7:10.

"Your brother's not dwarmy"??

[rnigma]

He says: "Your brother's a nut - don't worry."

[Moviewatcher1981]

4:54 My God Arthur, I roll out of bed in the morning looking better than that.