All I Want For Christmas

[boogerhargett]

sex



[sirbestnameever]

i what 10 freashly aborted babys

[37TANK38]

My dog Honey. I want her back. I surrendered her to a NO KILL aspca animal shelter.

[37TANK38]

My dog Honey. I want her back.

[bornbillsmith]

Cold fusion.

[Zarbod]

Oh I think we know. I'm sending her an email...and one to your mother. For shame... :)

[Dog480]

OK Z. Since you're up north, I'd like a nice big Kodiak, and um, a big chain. I figure if I stake him in my front yard with some stragetically placed bushes he'll earn his keep by eating all the bill collectors, process servers & deputy sheriffs who plague me daily by pounding on my front door even though I've warned them I have a shotgun (sadly, no ammo) :(

[Zarbod]

No problem. The bear is in the mail.

[stoopidville11772]

You could report from a stoop in Brooklyn and be with the home boys.

[CobraCommandercon]

For christmas I would love to have you on Up All Night with Cobra Commander. You would make for a very wonderful guest indeed. Love your videos.

[Zarbod]

Sign me up!

[CobraCommandercon]

I will be sending you a pm on here with info on the show

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select, For your christmas present, I have enter you in the "I own the Walmart for 10 minutes (in Fort Smith, Arkansas) contest. Sponsor by KWAS 109.9. YEA, You will be able to grab anything you can put in to a buggy and push out of the store in the 10 minutes. It is what you have always dreamed about! Your welcome Zarbod. Frio, First Science Officer.

[PlanetZoltar7]

My other wish is for the Swedish Bikini Team's tour bus to break down in front of your house and they would beg you to let them stay the night with you; saying they would be so grateful if you said yes that they would do anything you said.

[Zarbod]

Would they do my taxes for me?

[PlanetZoltar7]

Taxes? Taxes? That's all you can think of to do with them?

Wow! It has been a long time, hasn't it Zarbod?

[PlanetZoltar7]

All I want for Christmas is for you to be happy, healthy and successful, Zarbod.

[Zarbod]

Well that is kind. But let's be realistic. Mother would never allow that to happen.

[PlanetZoltar7]

Zarbod, do you remember Owen's mom from the movie "Throw momma from the train" with Billy Crystal and Danny DeVito? Is your mom like her?

[zqueenbean]

No Zarbod's mum is not like her!

[PlanetZoltar7]

Zarbod, could you please try not to refer to me as kind? It will ruin my image as an evil, heartless, ruthless, conniving bastard. How can you expect me to instill abject terror into my trembling subjugants when the word nice is being bandied about so cavalierly?

[jenlight]

You're my homie no matter where you are.

I want a time machine.

[Zarbod]

Well thank you my homeslice. Denied! I'd like to give you a Def time machine but I fear you'd go back in time and kill your grandfather and create a rift in the space time continuum.

[jenlight]

well I was going to go back and kill my grandmother and sleep with my grandfather and give birth to my mother but forget it now. Scrooge!

[zqueenbean]

Are you a writer for daytime?

[Zarbod]

Not really. Is Daytime hiring?

[spacecow149]

Have a great Christmas Zarbod! I want a flying reindeer for Christmas

[Zarbod]

Spacecow. Denied! You never mix reindeer and cows. Just a bad idea.

[MBRHIndustries]

You know, I don't really want anything. But my cat would really appreciate a PS3. Hes so needy.

[Zarbod]

Would your cat also like a new Corvette? I'll get right on it.

[ddlsr]

I want to see a video with monkeys in it. But not the creepy scary monkey who gave everybody nightmares last time you had animals on your show. If you can't find a monkey, a chicken would be nice.

[Zarbod]

I love monkeys. You should sub to monkeyswithmarilee I've been watching her for a year.

[expressomax]

Merry Christmas Zarbod

[Zarbod]

Merry Christmas Mo!

[Writer9]

hope you have a great holiday, zarbod! merry christmas!

[Zarbod]

Thank you Writer9. I am going to FL to see my family. First time back together in 4 years. 14 people in 1 house. I can't see how that could end badly.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select, Especially since all 14 have space modulators........Frio, First Science Officer.

[dalihendrix]

thanks zarbod but I am fine i just worry about the poor and ill the have nots the poeple that are sad.

[Zarbod]

That is sad. I used to be poor and plan to be poor again. But I suspect it's all a matter of perspective. Good for you though.

[Virginian9000]

For my present, I'd like a gift card to ZarStar Industries.

[Zarbod]

Virginian9000. Denied. But if you bring some hot chicks with you I'll give you all a nice tour.

[ukp42]

your too kind, I 'll send you cash for xmas & you will send me a pressent . Well I would love a hotforwords calendar ! Please =)

[frio109]

UKP.Please send enough cash for Zarbod to buy a Walmart........Frio, First Science Officer.

[ukp42]

Are Scottish bank notes ok? Some English shops refuse them, illegally!!! I'll send lots to you. Might be held up with the holiday post! =)

[frio109]

UKP42,

I would say that they are quite useful.....

To burn in a fire.

Frio, First Science Officer.

[ukp42]

Damn you english alien Frio! Where you from, you sound like a Londoner/Cockney! lol =)

[frio109]

UKP.

You could not pronounce my planet. Lets call it Texas. Lets then say that my new secret lab is in Michigan. But those are just made up names. Frio, First Science Officer.

[ukp42]

you would be suprised what a Scot can pronounce! Eat a haggis & you will learn new words for "Yuck"! And I like haggis on pizza! i thought all american place names where made up or stolen from Europe! But I dont know History well! lol =)

[frio109]

Utp42, Exactly. You can not compare to our Superior Alien Technology. Salado, Texas was settle by Scots. They have a festival every year. Frio, First Science Officer.

[ukp42]

Once you find a Scot, they will always party on Hogmanay! And have a hangover all day on Ne're day1 lol =)

[ukp42]

Oh! Was'nt it a Scot as Chief Engineer on that space ship, Boldness? So we know about technology, we invented the good stuff first!

[Zarbod]

Don't be a silly bloke. It's not like I attended university with chaps in the UK and drank a few pints in the pub with my fish and chips. Heck, I don't even know how British people speak.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select, I know you will take anything in a bra. We are arranging Scotish bra wears to line up! Frio, First Science Officer.

[Rowdyeh]

You could have a Brazilian to go with the bra, Zarbod, it's the sort of thing you'd do for xmas! Beware what's under the kilt! Lol!

[frio109]

RowD,

You are scary. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

I accept all forms of money

[Zarbod]

Ukp42, better send the cash now. Then go stand out by the mail box. Better hold your breath too.

[crazyjordan154]

i want the planet mars for christmas.

[frio109]

CrazyJ, You know we have ZarStar Industries Factories on Mars. Your request is Denied! Silly Earth Humans......Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

CrazyJordan, Denied! But I did post a video for you entitled Mars Needs Women. There may be something there you'd like.

[lancastercounty2007]

I want a Blue ray dvd player for christmas

[Zarbod]

Lancaster, Denied. I think you should read a book and then go play outside. It's good for you.

[dgwosdz]

I was in the middle of making you ear muffs ... Now I know you will hate them so I'll let my kitten play with the yarn now. You have made me very sad. Happy now? grrrrrrr

[Zarbod]

DGwosdz, do you see ears? Seriously? Throw me a bone here.

[samharrison14]

he should be a partner

[Zarbod]

Sam, Denied. They asked and I said no. Not interested in following "guidelines." I'm a rebel (Not that I like to fight, I just enjoy working with ewoks)

[kenc54]

Hi Zarbod. I want an autographed photo of you kissing a polar bear. (Good luck getting the bear to sign.)

[Zarbod]

Kenc, Denied. How about a video of me wrestling a bear at night. I'll post it soon. It's freakin' awesome.

[PlanetZoltar7]

I've seen the video. You're naked, and the bear is wearing lingerie. That ain't wrestling.

[thizizliz]

I'd like a group of fun and interesting people to watch on YouTube. Oh wait, I've got you - does one need anything else? I think not.

As for your present, Pay Pal says that you do not have an account with them. I'd suggest you blast them into oblivion. Such inefficiency deserves nothing less.

[Zarbod]

Denied? On Paypay? I'll have to space Modulate them. I do have a book coming out soon though.

[thizizliz]

PayPal. I know you will 'teach' them the error of their ways...

[lapislazuline]

i,d like some crisco a box of thumbtacks

and a half dozen blueberry muffins.

[Zarbod]

Lapislazuline, Denied. How about a carrot, a jar of peanutbutter and a snide remark?

[lapislazuline]

okay,but could you throw in a flux capacitor

for a DeLorean as well?

[milowent]

i am sure zarbod really wants a snuggie.

[Zarbod]

I'd love a snuggie. Wait, what exactly is that, cause someone once gave me a free Wet Willie and it was not as awesome as they promised.

[milowent]

search snuggie, you'll see the commerical. i don't know why the product NEEDS a commercial though, it literally sells itself its so amazing.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. Sweet, Every one needs some chaos in a bra......Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

I'd take anything in a bra

[TimberGeek]

I need a bailout from congress... got any influence there?

Barring that a few hundred pounds of coal for my stocking would be nice. ;)

[Zarbod]

TimberGeek, Denied. The point of a bailout is to make a symbolic gesture which is ultimately futile. Only GM can burn our tax dollars with no result. Only GM.

[TimberGeek]

So... I'm guessing compressing cash into fireplace logs would be out of the question. That'd be to beneficial as well.

[SonomaDave1]

I want baby Jesus.

Someone took him. Now my set is incomplete.

[Zarbod]

Dave, Denied! Sorry you're 2000 years too late. Now it's just grown up Jesus.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. I am busy this morning working on my theory that a Earth Human Woman's bra is physics in a straight jacket. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

They Lift and Separate!!! It's a Christmas Miracle!

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select, Lift and separate. I was thinking of more like tools to smash things like men or beer cans. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

When can I get smashed?

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. You can get smashed NOW. I purchased large amounts of Labatts Blue. Frio, First Science Officer.

[FISHGAL69]

Zarbod, I wonder if you can remove that cloud of plastic particles from the Pacific ocean and spare the marine life. I know it is there because humans have irresponsibly used plastics and the chemical companies are greedy, but the marine life shouldn't suffer for our horrendous mistake. I have heard that it is the size of Texas and can be seen from space. Please Zarbod, help us.

[Zarbod]

FishGal, Denied! Those fish had it coming. They know what they did!

[FISHGAL69]

But Zarbod, it is not just fish that are slowly dying from starvation from the pollution. Ocean dwelling mammals and sea turtles are also in danger. I really thought that your superior technology and mental prowess could handle the job.  Sorry you can't accomplish the removal of that trash.

[frio109]

Fishgal,

Think of this trash is food for the fish.....They love to eat our trash and dead humans dumped at sea. Meat! Frio, First Science Officer.

[FISHGAL69]

Frio, that is the problem with the small bits of plastic, it looks like food to the marine life they fill up on it, but are starving because they aren't getting enough real food.

[frio109]

Fishgal,

Everyone knows we ate all of the fish years ago. The fish you buy in a grocery store were manufactured. It is really just Chicken! Frio, First Science Officer.

[FISHGAL69]

Chicken!?! NOOOooo!

[frio109]

Fishgal,

Yes, Chicken and artificial Chicken parts.

Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

Fishgal I think fish dumb enough to eat plastic deserve to die. Aren't we really just helping evolution along?

[frio109]

Fishgal, Exactly. Uh think about it. Are you happy with your manufacture fish meat? Made from Chicken and artificial chicken meat. See. EAT more fish!. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

FishGal have you seen my video of Welfare and Fish?  It fills in a lot of blanks.

[zqueenbean]

You know what I want.

[Zarbod]

Mummy, Denied! I know what you want but I still have many years of resentment to work though. I'm also working though many years of abstinence which isn't helping with my attitude.

[zqueenbean]

Well, Zarbod, I guess you will be wanting your two front teeth for Christmas...

[Blargaldalien]

ooo,Mummy,are you going to punch Zarbod?

Again?

[frio109]

Blargaldalien,

Can I watch? I love the sight of other people blood. Frio, First Science Officer.

[zqueenbean]

Oh, I do not thinks so. That would be humiliating for Zarbod... That would be going too far.

[frio109]

'QueenMummy, Not Zarbod's blood. I meant the Human blood from the humans he will modulate. Frio, FSO.

[Zarbod]

Frio, no one makes me bleed my own blood. That's why I keep you around.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select, EXACTLY. I want to see you spill foolish Earth Humans blood from those who wish you harm! Hehehehe Frio, First Science Officer.

[zqueenbean]

No, I am not going to hurt my hand like the last time.

I'm going to feed him the cheese log I have for him that is in the liquid nitrogen canister. And yes, it will still be frozen when he "eats" it.

[frio109]

QueenMummy,

Sweet/ Frozen Liquid Nitrogen. I love LN2. This cryogenic Pure Nitrogen can cause rapid frost bite and death. It is so much fun to play with. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

BRAIN FREEZE!!!

[Zarbod]

That costs extra.

[Zarbod]

NO...METAL...HANGERS!!!

[Zarbod]

I don't want what I do not have. I am content. I'm not saying I wouldn't mind a big wad of cash though.

[zqueenbean]

Well, Zarbod, if the bank is giving fee samples I will get some for you.

[Zarbod]

My bank already gives me plenty of "fee samples"

[zqueenbean]

LOL, that was a funny slip.

[PlanetZoltar7]

My bank makes me give them pee samples. I'm not sure why.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. The way I see this vlog is that YOU want a new shiny Walmart for your self. Jee, who really would think that you are concerned about what others wish. This is just a psychological plot to get your self a Walmart! Frio, First Science Officer..... Ok, I am sure it can be accomplished.

[Zarbod]

Frio, Denied!  i just want to be a greater at Walmart.

[ghorty]

I want a hug from Zarbod!

[Zarbod]

Ghorty, Denied! No free hugs here..wait..are you a smoking hot chick? Cause if so, we might be able to make arrangements.

[supercommie]

I want a girlfriend for Christmas. :(

[Zarbod]

Supercommie, Denied! Let's be realistic here. I'm not a miracle worker.

[supercommie]

You arse =D

[Zarbod]

Yes I AM!

[Blargaldalien]

Hello,Zarbod. I would like some whirled peas for Christmas. Don't whilr them too long,they will get mushy.

I suggest,using the backdrop from the spacecraft control room for your reports. All the flashy buttons would fascinate and ditract these Earthlings...

[Zarbod]

Blargaldalien. Denied! Can't you just Visualize Whirled Peas? You may say that I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one.

[Doublebug1]

I want be an alien for Christmas

[Doublebug1]

I wouldn't mind some really good video software for Christmas too. :=)

[Zarbod]

Doublebug1, Denied! I would too but it's too expensive.  I'm thinking Zarbod needs a little upgrade though.

[Zarbod]

Doublebug1, Denied! I gotta be and you gotta be you.