May I ask, what happens when the only target of two parent narcissists is gone..do they then turn on one another? Who becomes the scapegoat/target then? I was their scapegoat and now I have chosen to cut them out of my life.
@twopurringcats I hear you, thought I had written the paragraph myself....my parents had their own top/bottom thing with each other, one active adverturer the other went along, when male died, dad said, It's not always me.....he was right then I saw that it was not always dad's temper, that mom empress picks the fights. I leave the room. some couples like to fight, not me.........don't blame self. call them once a year or so to say hello.
I am the adult child of two bona fide Narcissists, rageful, hateful people who are just as you described in these videos. I indeed have battled depression, anxiety, practically no self esteem and PTSD my whole life. I have now had to estrange myself from them. They are too aggressive, derogatory and cruel, a king and queen of a kingdom of themselves only. It hurts more than words can say. I have had therapy nearly all of my life and am a survivor. Your videos helped validate me, thanks!
@twopurringcats I hear ya. they really wanted the little princess here, but then were not always nice to her, confusing until I read "if you had controlling parents" by susan forward. signed, grown up and strong.
The most extreme cases are able to mask themselves as "the good guy", for a while anyway. Eventually the veneer starts to fade and the true personality shines through...My father was an extreme case and is now suffering severe dementia at a fairly early age. I just ended a 7 year relationship with a heavily masked narcissist and it's taking all my energy to free myself of his hold...
one question...I don't know if you're familiar with this case but still. Do you agree that good example of this disorder is character from TV series Californication? for example, please watch this on youtube. /watch?v=IWJhAOnJIzI I think that in this conversation they both represents a clear case of NPR.Right?
Dear Sir, I have watched your videos with great interest. Now I am sure that you have been asked many times before, but I would really like to know if a very intelligent 80+ year old narcissist can at some point see why he has become isolated. With time running out could he possibly begin to see that he has had a very destructive impact on his family? Could he suddenly begin to empathise and become a positive source of support for his children? Is there ZERO hope for such a person? Thanks
@bluewaterfire Hi, from my own perspective and that of many other mental health professionals, people with this disorder never get better. They get worse! As most people age, even if they have a PD they tend to soften and relate well to others. This never happens with Narcissists. They become more rageful, cruel, they project more and their Narcissistic ego defenses weaken so significantly that it is hard for them to contain their rage and shame.
@PsychDoctorate so very true. how can I work to toot my own horn in business and so forth, I am a good p.r. profession to hollywood types I must do it for ME.
@bluewaterfire I hear you. my mom the empress is 93....it is not the extreem beauty she had, it was the ability to "work it" I have looks but I am kind to all. there is a difference, also her jealousy.....and cutting down not building up.......this is a helpful video........once in awhile she will pick a fight, she did this at 40 as well......angry for nothing...maybe she gets off on the energy....this is helpful as was book "if you had controlling parents" by susan forward....
Respond to this video... you might be right on the gene. or a big family and needing attention. I had no idea my beautiful 93 year old mother, had been a young brat, and felt she did not have to clean up her part, got this info from her sisters. sad for me I could use one drop of "entitlement" as this princess is just as pretty and actually smarter and better educated than the queen, but very hard for me to toot my own horn. thanks.
If some one is narcissistic, how can they have a weak ego and a grandiose sense of self at the same time? Also, you point to people that you are unsure of having NPD as examples. Why not cite examples of people who actually have been diagnosed with NPD?
but i really dont understand how the lovers/partners of narcissist can ride this death row of a relationship for such a long period of time. How can they spend intimate moments with these people for months, even years to some extent, without feeling that these people are completely empty shells with no empathy on the inside.....i really dont understand that......one reason might be that most of these people have a very low self-esteem, and therefore get manipulated by a narc in the first place.
narcissists and vampires are very closealike only that a narcissist can feed with you only when you are alive, you are no use to them dead like you might be to vampires
Wow! This descirbes my roomate to the letter. I've suspected for some time that he may suffer from a bi polar disorder, but this more accurately describes his traits.
I'm a narcissist, but I do not lack empathy entirely. While I have little empathy for other human beings or tolerance for ignorance, I feel strongly for certain animals and even stuffed animals. I also have great admiration for other successful narcissists - not sure if that is normal. But why does every video on NPD paint us all as monsters? I experience those psychotic mini-episodes, BUT I am able to suppress my rage, as are most other narcissists.
Hmmm.... This description could be applied to about every shrink, social worker or CFI that I have come accross. Which is why I gave up my pursuit of a masters in psychology. They all seem to be drunk with the power they have over their patients. Especially when their patients start disclosing all of the emotional pain and turmoil that they have been through.
@leonpera You obviously didn't learn anything from these videos. You just decided to take the opportunity to promote your ignorant black racism and anti-Americanism. Quit double-posting, and go practice your saxophone.
@leonpera I'm not a racist but it's clear narcissism is one of the biggest problems in the black community.They adorn their necks with bling and the riches and spoils are the most important thing aside from the respect they demand.Everyone wants to be the kingpin by pushing the most dope and controlling the most territory by intimidating the most people.They refer to their women as bitches and being a good student is seen as being "white".
@Klinkerklunk I thought it was mostly white people, with our imperialistic ruling of the planet and our dysfunctional families........I do agree with you on one point.....being a good student is not being "white".....signed, fairest of them all.
She had no contact with him whatsoever while whe was growing up. She has just very recently in the past year attempted to contact hm.So I strongly believe there is a genetic element to this disorder.This is not to wash my hands this is the honest conclusion I've come to after much need therapy for myself and after having dealt with mountains of guilt and after much thought and soul searching.I feel it's a loss and a grief that sometimes is too much to bear.She's still my child and I love her.
My daughter did not display the classic signs of narcissism until she was 19 years old. Then it was pure hell to be around her. Now we live in separate countries with minimum contact.As I said I have done some deep soul searching within myself but I know I was and still am a good mother. I started to re examine her father's behavior in light of this new discovery and I was shocked to realize that much of her behavior was identical to his.
My daughter appears to have NPD I say "appear" because she has not been professionally diagnosed. I put two and two together just a couple of years ago after suffering years of abuse at her hand. She is now 30. I questioned myself and her upbringing. I know I was a devoted and loving mother ... a single mother as her dad completely dissappeared from the picture from the time she was 1. He too was very abusive but have had no contact whatsoever since we left him 29 years ago.
There is nothing "genetic" about lack of empathy. There are reasons in early childhood that explain NPD very clearly. The easy "genetic" label has become dangerous, but it is certainly a convenient one as it allows therapists to have a superficial approach of a person without spending hours listening and going through all the personal and thus unique material that will help them interpret and cure.
I hate it how it sounds like he's pitying the narcissists. Not all narcissists break down, some of them might even be successful and achieve the goals they knew they will achieve. Narcissists come about because they HAVE something to be proud of in the first place, and hence amplifying that talent and might actually get somewhere with it. And what's the world without manipulation? You can't always trust people, sometimes the only answer is to make them do the things you want. It's just natural
I think with any personality "defect" there are big differences in the individual. Not all narcissists are going to be socially inept. Some people can curb some of the negative effects on narcissism while maintaining the confidence it brings. I would venture to say that on some level, most great leaders were narcissists. In this aspect who is to say it is a defect? Abnormal perhaps but a defect? I don't think so.
read my previous comment first - can relate to others lack of empathy mearily means they just don't care they feel sad sometimes but find it easy to push such thoughts to the back of there mind being a narcissist is great because your far more aware of others emotions they may as well have buttons on there back you really would be amazed you so aware of others emotions you can read there thoughts and even implant ideas. there's an interesting doc on 4od called mania that you would enjoy peace
@54641231 You may take over the world, but so what? Anyway, something you stated in this post caught my attention. what you say about being hyperaware of people's emotions is what my narcissistic almost-ex husband once told me. He said hecan go into a room and read people so well that he can get almost anything he wants. However, he can never, ever get true love, connection and intimacy, so I feel sorry for him. All the sex and power and money in the world is not success.
@54641231 You may take over the world, but so what? Anyway, something you stated in this post caught my attention. what you say about being hyperaware of people's emotions is what my narcissistic almost-ex husband once told me. He said hecan go into a room and read people so well that he can get almost anything he wants. However, he can never, ever get true love, connection and intimacy, so I feel sorry for him. All the sex and power and money in the world is not success.
I am a 19 year old male and a self aware narcissist I've been aware of my disorder for about a year (thanks to video's like this) I've tried to get a diagnosis but they basically said no why they didn't want to or even attempt to diagnose me, I don't know anyway I just wanted to say that its great being a narcissist its been proven that there is a direct link between the disorder and success I'd also like to say just to clear up any confusion that the narcissist continues in my next comment
This video was a very good explanation of NPD. My therapist helped me to discover that my mom had NPD in its purest form. To boldly put it, she is a toxic poison. She is so bad that my therapist recommended that I totally cut off all communication with her and I agreed with him. Once I cut her off, I finally began to focus on my life. She had no more feelings for me than she did for the person she sat next to on the bus. I was an object put on this earth to serve her. Sad but true.
@angelamwatts excellent honest comment,i too have had to break all contact with my ex at the expense of losing my beautiful daughter to her..my life is virtually over
@zeon008 When I was a small child and I would act out, my mom would say "I hate you, I wish you were never born. I should of had an abortion instead of having you, etc. I would ask her "why did you ever have me; I didn't ask to be born." Her response was "neither did I". That's about as narcissistic as you can get. She is flat out EVIL. I will never see nor talk to her again.
@angelamwatts god,, ! and they will never apologise or realize what they have done and how this affects you even into late adulthood... severely toxic, i hope you can come to terms with it all. she has most likely had severe trauma in her childhood and this is what happens to these people.. my mother is one too. and its all very sad, and very toxic... know that its not you, its her.. she will find someone else anyway,,,
@SovereignBeing Yes, it is a sickness but there comes a time where the mentally ill have to be held accountable for their own behavior. She is not cognitively deficient to the point she has no concept as to what is "right" and what is "wrong". Yes, she did have a traumatic childhood but does that give her the "right" or an "excuse" to crap all over people? I say NO! It's extremely painful to cope with. I'm done. She's a toxic poison and I got rid of that poison!
I am taking a proactive choice to heal.....I am spirit living the human experience. I will not ever find myself with a narcisstic person again....again...this may sound corney....but from the heart ...thankyou for posting these videos. You are truly worthy of thankyou...I bet others would agree.
I wish from my heart to thankyou for your videos on this subject. I learned of it on my own through the suffering and belittleing of my boyfriend of 5 yrs...He has all of the trates mentioned. I lost all my friends, because of him.....I tried my best to please the unpleased. I now suffer from fear of ppl. II seperated myself for so long from others due to trying to furfill the desires of the one I love and still do. I am afraid of others....and I realize this in time will go away. TY
How is NPD different from BPD? I'd say my mother was NPD because to her way of thinking no one had a "right" to their feelings. Only she did and her feelings were always more important than anyone, or anything, else.
Thank you for posting your in-depth treatment of NPD. I have a question for you that was not addressed in the video series. Why do individuals who display NPD traits fearful of intimacy? Are they "weak" when a relationship turns intimate?
An important aspect of NPD is the covert way they exploit interpersonal relationships; to me this is the crux of the disorder that combined with the lack or unwillingness to feel empathy makes these individuals emotionally dangerous.
@drjfs I think that they fear intimacy because they have very weak egos. This may sound contradictory, but in truth it is not. The sense of self in someone with NPD is a false one or an "imagined" one. In an intimate relationship, or a truly intimate relationship, I think that the false sense of self cannot tolerate a true union with another as it would mean a loss of identity. Something someone with a weak ego cannot tolerate. In a nutshell, people with NPD do not know themselves at all.
@PsychDoctorate Is it possible for a mother with low self-esteem to create a narcisstic child through which she can live vicariously? I know a classic narcissist who is actually encouraged by her quiet (door-mat-like) mother to be arrogant and haughty. The mother admires her for it and considers herself a "training ground" for the abuse she encourages the child to inflict on others. What kind of pathology are we looking at in a case like this? What's wrong with the mother in this case?
i think you wanted to say that the ego of the "true self" is extremely weak and vulnerable. So there is a problem here. When relationships get very intimate - the "false self" is left unarmed because it is not able to feed himself - it does not get the narcissistic supply anymore!!!! and that is because intimate relationships are not about supply anymore, but are about that powerful emotion called LOVE, which narcissist are incapable of feeling and therefore tend to avoid it.
@drjfs I read a book that explained narcissists loath intimate relationships because they are in a catch 22 position. A narcissist would enjoy the "physical" aspects of sexual relations but in order to achieve that, he/she needs to be intimate with another person which undoubtedly would require the narcissist to "express" feelings of "tenderness" "openness" that narcissists are not capable of "genuinely" expressing. Narcissists need to feel in control. To fall in love is to lose that control
@angelamwatts but they are masters of pretence so their acting skills get another brush up, they just end up treating that person the same way they treat their kids.. yes they should know right and wrong, but as they have no compassion or empathy its hard for them to know that it is them who have hurt you.. its great to hear you have broken the cycle...
@angelamwatts: thank you for your comments. I understand now how intimacy is not compatible with who a narcissist thinks he/she is, therefore, he/she cannot engage in true closeness in relationships.
@angelamwatts thank you, your paragraph explained my parents marriage.....it was decades ago, but you solved the missing element. also the other day a school display was "do not bully" I think that is what narcissists do to their children at home. be well.....
@drjfs my guess and I am not the pro here in this field, they cannot let go fully as one does in intimacy of any kind, plus they like to maintain the reins of control.....CONTROL even in small stuff......and risk adverse for same reason.
The women of the 21st century lacks empathy because the government regulators in the health care system are weakening the very ego of man. Women are becoming more unhappierier at an early age, they give men viagra to improve function and confidence, we have lots of divorces because women are hard to control and dis-trustfull. Its a sort of policy for de-population.
@baretta1983 you have an interesting notion but my family life was traditional and almost 19 century and yet the narcissistic parents. so look at that again if you need to. be well. hope you have real intimacy and love in your life and a good holiday season.
I believe that your genetic theory has a great deal of validity. I've been exposed to and abused by NPDs since birth, and my last lover was the worst case I've ever seen. In his family of six siblings, 3m and 3f, four that I had known long enough to see the symptomology, were NPDs. What a horrifying experience at holidays!!! I think NPDs embody evil and are the ultimate demographic for this.
I wonder if i have this shit myself, when i fucking look at the things that makes a person a sociopath they fit me, but really not too much or anything. i never feel sad or have empathy with anyone, except if they're a really good friend.
but yeah i never care when anyone dies. i don't want to be a bad person holy fuck no.
I think you're right on the notion about the empathy trait being genetically. One side of my family all have many similarities in personality, and all revolve within the definitions of NPD. My mother was very abusive, not that much physically, but mentally. She schemed against me for some 17 years, making sure I was excluded from most social events and aspects. She clearly has a disorder, and sadly similarities can be seen in all my siblings and me...
When i told him, that I was getting divorced he said "Ben (my son of three boys) will loose the best grandfather the world has ever seen" I was floored "huh?" in the last 7 days i have cried and cried. Not only have i been defrauded openly, stupidly & very prosecutably - but it's my hero my dad. i lived in guilt to prove to me he is annihilating me. What is worse, my mother is worse + my brother (wares red suite)-i lived my first day today - My whole life was a lie - The pain of this little boy
THE PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY IS THE NARCASSIST==== THE GOV AND CORPS!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE MUST STOP FEEDING THEIR UNSPIRITUAL SOCIETY--AND I DONT MEAN GET WRAPPED UP IN SOME BULLSHIT RELIGION BY SPIRITUAL..
to whoever put this on, im not sure its just genetic look at the civilisation we live in it is all about the self, thats what consumerism relies on,the patriarchal society is bullshit , very unspiritual, it teaches us all narcissism, is fukin babylon evil shit, it doesnt encourage empathy does it!on top of that and for most the loss of innocence at a young age, we will have parents who hav been taught the same brattish selfish behaviour by gov and corps-media.. its obvious! global govz r shite
what about if through the gradious aspect of a narcassist the person thinks they are helping everyone however on a more personal level they use this to excuse the actions and say they have empathy. they play down their intensly shitty actions, they talk over you and will always find some excuse to get out of how they treat other human beings, they seem to not get how much they damage others,want the victims to shut the fuk up,i find narcisists to be impossible people,and lotsa people are!
My husband is a narcissist and an alcoholic. What kind of alcohol treatment would work for him? I've already seen that AA doesn't/hasn't/will never work because it relies heavily on the ability to empathize and the ability to pay attention even when the discussion is not directly about the narcissist.
@amgirliegirl I forgot to add....With regard to AA, my husband is not capable of taking responsibility for his actions - another AA requirement. How can the need for alcohol treatment even be made clear to him?
@amgirliegirl You are in a tough situation and one with no easy answer or solution. When an addict is in the midst of their addiciton, personality disorder or no, the addiction takes over their behavior. I would try using reflective talking with your husband to try and get him to think about his behavior. Reflect back to him what he is saying to you and summarize it. He might then start to think about his behavior, its no guarantee, but it might start something. Every little drop helps!
@PsychDoctorate I really appreciate your response, but I think this may be oversimplifying the problem. There are a few narcissictis traits that you didn't cover. For example, narcissicts' inability to admit to any wrongdoing. This is so strong that they will lie outright, or even become violently angry at any suggestion that have made a mistake or have done something wrong. My husband has flown into frightening rages when I've so much as suggested he may have made a poor choice.
@amgirliegirl Also, the narcissictic need for constant adoration that goes way beyond a typical needy person. My husband regularly goes to his drinking friends and his family and lies to them about me so that he can get validation and sympathy from them. He feels their approval validates his actions even though this approval is based on the lies he's telling them, and enjoys the fact that they all hate me.
@amgirliegirl So I cannot even hint that there is a problem (inability to admit wrongdoing), and my feelings or hurts that he has caused me and my son are entirely immaterial (lack of empathy) cannot be employed. Further, because his friends and family don't know the truth of what's going on they are actually working against me (they truly believe that I had him arrested for spousal abuse just because he said something I didn't like??) instead of helping me get him to see that he has a problem.
@amgirliegirl Good morning, thats a tricky one especialy since it is common for Narcissists to be substance abusers and fall prey to addiction issus. A medical model might be better suited for his treatment. Although I hate to say it, you have to feed the "ego" to get him to want to stop drinking. He has to think he can do it and that it is his idea. Once out of the addiction cycle, he might start to change and become more empathetic, lets keep our fingers crossed. Not all alcoholics are N.
Great video, thanks for making it. But what strikes me is how similar its symptoms are to those of psychopaths.. I know that psychopathy is largely an innate trait, while narcissism is just a personality disorder. But the way you describe a narcissist's manipulation and lack of empathy reminded me of a psychopath's. I don't have any credentials in psyche, but I thought narcissists do ultimately have empathy - while psychopaths have no capacity for empathy? Is that right?
@ADayWithAndrew Good evening, The striking feature of all psychopaths is the lack of empathy. Narcissists as a subset of those with psycopathic features have none. However, they are rarely violent, most are covert. Other psychopaths, like those with ASPD show no remorse for their actions. They also have a whole host of other problems steming from at least 10 incidents of trauma in childhood. The spectrum of psychopathy ranges from slightly banal to overt agreesion, but all lack empathy.
@Fersomling Abusive parents do a tremendous amount of psychological dammage to their children which they need to then spend time "correcting". Narcissitic parents objectify, parentify and are often hypercritical towards their offspring without having any balancing or redeming qualities on any other level. It is a sad and sorry situation. Thankfully truly abusive parents are in the minority.
Narcissists believe there is nothing wrong with them so they don't go for therapy. Even if they did seek help, they can't see themselves as others may see them. It's a no win situation. Take the dr's advice, and avoid them completely. The one good thing about knowing what a narcissist is, then you know it's them and not you. Because if you are involved with a narcissist they will undermine you and have you believing there is something wrong with you.
Great vid. This same "genetic" connotation wrt "psychopathy" is a belief seemingly growing amongst academics. EI is missing in both the psychopath and narcissist but narcissism can be programmed through bad parenting and/or social validation since its increasing. EEG/MRI scans show interesting results when testing for "cold emotion" in psychopaths so it may apply to the narcissist? Checkout Romanian baby adoptions during the 80's, Reactive Attachment Disorder is interesting.
I have two question regarding narcissistic personality disorder?
1. Is it possible for someone with NPD to not be an amoral monster, as in they've intellectually or philosophically come to a moral conclusion?
2. Can not the feeling of being better but the constant desire to and sense that they are meant to be better than people some day be a sign of it? They have low self esteem because they aren't at the high position they believe they should have?
@pacmansays Some with NPD, a milder course will not be as "amoral" as some others. The stronger the traits the more likely they are to be interpersonally exploitive. Strong feelings of entitlement do not mean that one is supposed to be better but are more likely signs of a deluded mind or self delusion. There are those with NPD at all levels in society even at lower SES classes. Some have high self esteem others none!
@pacmansays Some with NPD, a milder course will not be as "amoral" as some others. The stronger the traits the more likely they are to be interpersonally exploitive. Strong feelings of entitlement do not mean that one is supposed to be better but are more likely signs of a deluded mind or self delusion.
The reason this set of 3 videos is helpful is to the other who were unknowingly victimized for so long. It helps to understand it has a genetic component. My father and my son who are now 67 and 25 both have all these symptoms. I have succombed to their extremely painful behavior until I started studying this recently. Now, I have to train myself to not let them make me so hurt.
it's pleasant being in situations feeling superior, even more so for someone who have experienced alot of the opposite such as inferiority complex or abusive behavior, a narcissist thinks there's greater satisfaction being supperior to people than a normal relationship have to offer
My mother has chronic NPD. What's worse, my father plays the emasculated sycophant. Together they are formidable. I manage to control the rage inside me very well, medication helps with this, so do my young children and good wife. However, when my parents invade our home with my mother's entitlement to be listened to, "understood", and her chronic lack of empathy - my anger surfaces. I don't show it though. It takes me a few days to feel OK again after seeing them.
OMG! Unless you are financially depend on them, you are in control . For the health of you children you must limit their visits...to the PARK!! ..not at your home... I know it is VERY difficult to do but if you keep the health of you children in mind (front and foremost!), you can do it. I was married to an NPD but did not realize my situation. If I had, my children would'nt have endured the abuse. I don't ususally advise people but I know you are suffering... keep them out of your house!
@andreabaker2 for 20 years I only visited for dinners at holidays it was great, my life worked. now doing caregiving, time and age does not change them......
Yeah, after watching this I kinda felt the same way. However, I wonder if a true Narcissist would have the capacity to even realize this within themselves..
I have seen some of his videos and have heard some interesting things about him. Some might say he has NPD in looking at him I think there is something else going on. I am in no place to assess, but I will say this, his deadeye look seems to indicate that he is not "connected" to reality or truly engaged with others. He is truly highly opinionated, irrational and unreasonable. His viewpoints are completely black and white.
I am working towards a doctorate in Psychology. I have howerver had the "joyous" experience of working with so many people with NPD that it is astounding. Learning of the disorder put a lot of pieces together about the individuals I faced. I am even clear in my profile that I am "working towards a doctorate." Many of these videos are actually a way of not only educating others, but helping me clarify my points regarding advanced work in Psychology. My ultimate goal is to encourage thinking!
That is, first, cause someone harm, then watch them suffer, and then, when their victim tries to confront them, just ignore them; won't narcissists do that? Or is that a different disorder?
yes, this is the devaluation and discard phase. Not a pretty sight! On a larger scale those with ASPD will go so far as to kill those they think have no value to them any further!
1.if a person has the grandiosity of self-importance trait can it be assumed that other narcissitic traits are more likely to be present?
2.you did say that some of the traits are inter-connected,so, overall do most of the traits influence one another or let's say help reinforce one another? e.g. does having the self-importance trait cause the empathy trait to develop?
@1one1republic 1: Every human being has the traits to one degree or another, even grandiosity, grandiosity and self importance do not always mean you will find other NPD traits. However, most of the traits are interconnected to one degree or another, they are all on a similar spectrum. Many have described those with NPD as adults stuck at the age of 7 years, the "ME" years. The me and the lack of "we" or the inability to step into another shoes, is critical.
Most if not all cult leaders have a high degree of Narcissistic traits even if they are not dealing with the disorder. Its almost as if they are all cut from the same cloth, despite the differences in culture, era and ethnicity.
@PsychDoctorate what about members who follow cultic leaders are they narcissistic also? I am finally prospering AND also feel well. but parents were so hard to figure out, until I read this stuff. I take after another relative who was well adjusted and humanitarian. caregiving for them can wear me out.
The more recent studies indicate that it is evenly spread across the sexes. The bias towards women being more histrionic than men is slowly starting to dissapate as well. Theodore Millon has done a lot of current research into personality disorder and his works are quite enlightening as to the reality behind them all. One thing which continues to baffle scientists, psychologists and lay people alike is the fact that PD's show up randomly even in relatively ordinary families and family systems
Yeah, I don't get that. My mom is a severe borderline but my sister and myself, well, we turned out ok. We're quite introspective and aware of who we are, and so forth. It is rather mysterious how it pops up randomly like that.
@PsychDoctorate A relative has many of these traits but does not have the grandiose thinking... but extreme self centerdness, lack of empathy, sees her children as an extension of herself and , although she appears timid, it is mostly an act and she goes into rages if challenged. She also has rarely admitted to wrongdoing although there has been so much of it,. She denies events occurred at all. However, no grandiosity. Would she still be classified as a narcissist.and if not, what could she be?
My ex gf has NPD, she brought me to my knees and practically destroyed my mind. Never once did i ever an apology for any of the disgusting and agonizing things she put me through. Her memory lingers as scars on my body and soul. Stay away, they can't be helped.
I just want to thank you for this particular video. I was in a 5 year relationship with a woman that has NPD. I have been out of that relationship for a year and I am just beginning to grasp what NPD is. This helped.
Really? Geez, that must have been a battle! Please don't get me wrong. I'm not poking fun of you, I'm just a little shocked about your experience. That's all. :)
Yet to conclude, I could NEVER use a child, harm a child, use a child, it is wrong and giving such information to the public is demeaning and hurtful as enough terrible things are said about us and very little positive. This negative talk esp. by docter's can lead someone with NPD depressed, suicidal and unworthy of existence, just because I have this does not mean I am not worthy of being in the human race. I do have feelings and love but as stated, only for very few and I hold them dearly.
I am a diagnosed NPD, at first it was a relief to be diagnosed because I could not understand my 'difference' from normal people, having belived I was only a highly vain extremly angry person. I would though like to make a point. I personally do not like all the negative talk about our kind, and I especially do not like the association that "I" would personally use children?!!. I adore my children, my spouse and one friend. I do not care about anyone else and yes, I use people for my gain.
Great video, well done. I learnt from this video about a person I know. On a lighter note, in some sentences you sound like Dr Evil from Austin Powers.... : )
;-) LOL! Interesting food for thought, well my friends have also said I sound like Dr Evil as well. And a dang evil laugh as well. Sends chills down my friends spines when they hear it. But I am not truly evil inside, just a bad boy!
Touchin film mate..alow me 2 introduce myself I am Johhny a good friend Of Jeremy who thinks he suffers from this NPD...because of this he has created me the ever so outgoin loud mouth alter ego of who he desires 2 be....Question? should he isolate himself from those he loves cuz he dont wanna hurt them? cuz if he dont stay inside? Johnny Comes out mate!!! Now b4 I go Doc tell me if my friend Jeremy cant be happy without me...how will he get better? I leave that up in ayer doc......Toodles
In this segment, it seems like you're talking about a sociopath, not a narcissist. As far as I understand it, narcissist lack empathy but they do have feelings; whereas a sociopath or psychopath have no conscience at all and do seek out victims. A narcisisst is nothing more than a person who can't be human in the traditional sense because he can't go back to his true self wthout a painfull process so they choose to live in a pretend world where the only thng that matters is them.
@brik9r Child of a narcissist here. The line between sociopathy and narcissism is very thin. I can tell you this information corresponds with my experience of my parent completely. Though there may be truth in your final statement, the words "nothing more" make it sound like it is not that serious. I have gone through and am still going through hell because of this and I can not have any contact whatsoever with my NPD parent nor with my other family (cult) members that are under his influence.
@brik9r I have been both suicidal and homicidal. Taken lots of drugs. You tend to project the abuse your own parent(s) are putting onto you and denying and making you deny at the same time onto outsiders/society. You are extermely paranoid, in a constant fight or flight survival mode. You have no control of your own reality/life, confused, have no idea whats going on. Join a gang, become a terrorist, whatever. Not far-fetched at all.
@brik9r In my extensive experience with narcissists, they ARE sociopathic and/or psychopathic. They go from victim to victim, using them up and abusing them. They live in a pretend world where they have no need for a conscience becuase they do no wrong. They are extremely dangerous; yes, even evil.
This is arrogance which I possess and I am very ashamed to say that I have been like this for years. I think it is good for people to listen to this, and the first step is identifying that you are like this and it will help those, like me, recover and be better than we think we truly are.
I will admit that until I listed to this and realized what this was, I actually am this way. It is very sad to admit, but I will say I am willing to change and not be this way. I love to be in total control, and have a sense that everything my way is the correct way and that things will not screw up if done or seen my way.
thank you very much, explains those people.
thepixieful 1 month ago
This guy just sound jealous
AmoryIX 2 months ago
@AmoryIX Jealous? Hmm... I have been called a lot of thing, but jealous is not one of them. What would I be jealous of?
PsychDoctorate 2 months ago
@AmoryIX I think you are the jealous one.
tkathryyn 1 month ago
May I ask, what happens when the only target of two parent narcissists is gone..do they then turn on one another? Who becomes the scapegoat/target then? I was their scapegoat and now I have chosen to cut them out of my life.
twopurringcats 6 months ago
@twopurringcats I hear you, thought I had written the paragraph myself....my parents had their own top/bottom thing with each other, one active adverturer the other went along, when male died, dad said, It's not always me.....he was right then I saw that it was not always dad's temper, that mom empress picks the fights. I leave the room. some couples like to fight, not me.........don't blame self. call them once a year or so to say hello.
thepixieful 5 months ago
I am the adult child of two bona fide Narcissists, rageful, hateful people who are just as you described in these videos. I indeed have battled depression, anxiety, practically no self esteem and PTSD my whole life. I have now had to estrange myself from them. They are too aggressive, derogatory and cruel, a king and queen of a kingdom of themselves only. It hurts more than words can say. I have had therapy nearly all of my life and am a survivor. Your videos helped validate me, thanks!
twopurringcats 6 months ago
@twopurringcats I hear ya. they really wanted the little princess here, but then were not always nice to her, confusing until I read "if you had controlling parents" by susan forward. signed, grown up and strong.
thepixieful 5 months ago
The most extreme cases are able to mask themselves as "the good guy", for a while anyway. Eventually the veneer starts to fade and the true personality shines through...My father was an extreme case and is now suffering severe dementia at a fairly early age. I just ended a 7 year relationship with a heavily masked narcissist and it's taking all my energy to free myself of his hold...
indabushwoman 6 months ago
@indabushwoman Male narcissists are almost always misogynists or at the very least hardcore chauvanists.
indabushwoman 6 months ago
one question...I don't know if you're familiar with this case but still. Do you agree that good example of this disorder is character from TV series Californication? for example, please watch this on youtube. /watch?v=IWJhAOnJIzI I think that in this conversation they both represents a clear case of NPR.Right?
falcon2810 6 months ago
@falcon2810 I loved X files but did not watch that one, I shall buy the box set thanks.
thepixieful 5 months ago
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Toxicslime1 7 months ago
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trevc5197 7 months ago
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trevc5197 7 months ago
Dear Sir, I have watched your videos with great interest. Now I am sure that you have been asked many times before, but I would really like to know if a very intelligent 80+ year old narcissist can at some point see why he has become isolated. With time running out could he possibly begin to see that he has had a very destructive impact on his family? Could he suddenly begin to empathise and become a positive source of support for his children? Is there ZERO hope for such a person? Thanks
bluewaterfire 7 months ago
@bluewaterfire Hi, from my own perspective and that of many other mental health professionals, people with this disorder never get better. They get worse! As most people age, even if they have a PD they tend to soften and relate well to others. This never happens with Narcissists. They become more rageful, cruel, they project more and their Narcissistic ego defenses weaken so significantly that it is hard for them to contain their rage and shame.
PsychDoctorate 7 months ago
@PsychDoctorate so very true. how can I work to toot my own horn in business and so forth, I am a good p.r. profession to hollywood types I must do it for ME.
thepixieful 5 months ago
@bluewaterfire I hear you. my mom the empress is 93....it is not the extreem beauty she had, it was the ability to "work it" I have looks but I am kind to all. there is a difference, also her jealousy.....and cutting down not building up.......this is a helpful video........once in awhile she will pick a fight, she did this at 40 as well......angry for nothing...maybe she gets off on the energy....this is helpful as was book "if you had controlling parents" by susan forward....
thepixieful 5 months ago
Respond to this video...hey old people just become "more of what they are", I will just get kinder and funnier......
thepixieful 5 months ago
Respond to this video... you might be right on the gene. or a big family and needing attention. I had no idea my beautiful 93 year old mother, had been a young brat, and felt she did not have to clean up her part, got this info from her sisters. sad for me I could use one drop of "entitlement" as this princess is just as pretty and actually smarter and better educated than the queen, but very hard for me to toot my own horn. thanks.
thepixieful 5 months ago
@bluewaterfire It is never too late for saying that you are sorry for the things you have said to people.
KennyReddwooddforest 2 months ago
If some one is narcissistic, how can they have a weak ego and a grandiose sense of self at the same time? Also, you point to people that you are unsure of having NPD as examples. Why not cite examples of people who actually have been diagnosed with NPD?
RKarshenas 7 months ago
@0pointoreoccuring1 Narcissists and sociopaths are like vampires. They suck your blood and essense when you're not aware of it.
abby495 7 months ago
but i really dont understand how the lovers/partners of narcissist can ride this death row of a relationship for such a long period of time. How can they spend intimate moments with these people for months, even years to some extent, without feeling that these people are completely empty shells with no empathy on the inside.....i really dont understand that......one reason might be that most of these people have a very low self-esteem, and therefore get manipulated by a narc in the first place.
glutamin111 8 months ago
@0pointoreoccuring1
narcissists and vampires are very closealike only that a narcissist can feed with you only when you are alive, you are no use to them dead like you might be to vampires
glutamin111 8 months ago
Look into Neurofeedback.
Diane9773 8 months ago
extremely subtle
astrozier1 8 months ago
Wow! This descirbes my roomate to the letter. I've suspected for some time that he may suffer from a bi polar disorder, but this more accurately describes his traits.
mewhor 8 months ago
I'm a narcissist, but I do not lack empathy entirely. While I have little empathy for other human beings or tolerance for ignorance, I feel strongly for certain animals and even stuffed animals. I also have great admiration for other successful narcissists - not sure if that is normal. But why does every video on NPD paint us all as monsters? I experience those psychotic mini-episodes, BUT I am able to suppress my rage, as are most other narcissists.
If you must, hate the antisocials -- not us.
ElasticGiraffe 9 months ago
Hmmm.... This description could be applied to about every shrink, social worker or CFI that I have come accross. Which is why I gave up my pursuit of a masters in psychology. They all seem to be drunk with the power they have over their patients. Especially when their patients start disclosing all of the emotional pain and turmoil that they have been through.
Aspenburnigbush 9 months ago
@Aspenburnigbush I had one gent who selflessly helped me see my family patterns, read Prometheus Rising. be well.
thepixieful 5 months ago
americans are narsissists!!! racists whites are period; look at the patterns you'll find out.
leonpera 9 months ago
@leonpera You obviously didn't learn anything from these videos. You just decided to take the opportunity to promote your ignorant black racism and anti-Americanism. Quit double-posting, and go practice your saxophone.
ElasticGiraffe 9 months ago
americans are narsissists!!! racists whites are period; look at the patterns you'll find out.
leonpera 9 months ago
@leonpera I'm not a racist but it's clear narcissism is one of the biggest problems in the black community.They adorn their necks with bling and the riches and spoils are the most important thing aside from the respect they demand.Everyone wants to be the kingpin by pushing the most dope and controlling the most territory by intimidating the most people.They refer to their women as bitches and being a good student is seen as being "white".
Klinkerklunk 9 months ago
@Klinkerklunk I thought it was mostly white people, with our imperialistic ruling of the planet and our dysfunctional families........I do agree with you on one point.....being a good student is not being "white".....signed, fairest of them all.
thepixieful 5 months ago
@thepixieful i dont think so
KaraLindaLee 1 month ago
are you not mixing anti social personality disorder with narcissism?
dma777able 10 months ago
She had no contact with him whatsoever while whe was growing up. She has just very recently in the past year attempted to contact hm.So I strongly believe there is a genetic element to this disorder.This is not to wash my hands this is the honest conclusion I've come to after much need therapy for myself and after having dealt with mountains of guilt and after much thought and soul searching.I feel it's a loss and a grief that sometimes is too much to bear.She's still my child and I love her.
spoonfulofsugar100 10 months ago
My daughter did not display the classic signs of narcissism until she was 19 years old. Then it was pure hell to be around her. Now we live in separate countries with minimum contact.As I said I have done some deep soul searching within myself but I know I was and still am a good mother. I started to re examine her father's behavior in light of this new discovery and I was shocked to realize that much of her behavior was identical to his.
spoonfulofsugar100 10 months ago
My daughter appears to have NPD I say "appear" because she has not been professionally diagnosed. I put two and two together just a couple of years ago after suffering years of abuse at her hand. She is now 30. I questioned myself and her upbringing. I know I was a devoted and loving mother ... a single mother as her dad completely dissappeared from the picture from the time she was 1. He too was very abusive but have had no contact whatsoever since we left him 29 years ago.
spoonfulofsugar100 10 months ago
stay away from them at all costs, they will make your life hell when they stop getting that attention!
SovereignBeing 10 months ago
There is nothing "genetic" about lack of empathy. There are reasons in early childhood that explain NPD very clearly. The easy "genetic" label has become dangerous, but it is certainly a convenient one as it allows therapists to have a superficial approach of a person without spending hours listening and going through all the personal and thus unique material that will help them interpret and cure.
axilea67 11 months ago
I hate it how it sounds like he's pitying the narcissists. Not all narcissists break down, some of them might even be successful and achieve the goals they knew they will achieve. Narcissists come about because they HAVE something to be proud of in the first place, and hence amplifying that talent and might actually get somewhere with it. And what's the world without manipulation? You can't always trust people, sometimes the only answer is to make them do the things you want. It's just natural
Mikutashi 11 months ago
I think with any personality "defect" there are big differences in the individual. Not all narcissists are going to be socially inept. Some people can curb some of the negative effects on narcissism while maintaining the confidence it brings. I would venture to say that on some level, most great leaders were narcissists. In this aspect who is to say it is a defect? Abnormal perhaps but a defect? I don't think so.
GeneralSauerKraut 1 year ago
This is enough information for my schoolproject about NPD. I live in the Netherlands and we have to do this project in English.
Thank you very much for this!
djjogo8 1 year ago
read my previous comment first - can relate to others lack of empathy mearily means they just don't care they feel sad sometimes but find it easy to push such thoughts to the back of there mind being a narcissist is great because your far more aware of others emotions they may as well have buttons on there back you really would be amazed you so aware of others emotions you can read there thoughts and even implant ideas. there's an interesting doc on 4od called mania that you would enjoy peace
54641231 1 year ago
@54641231 You may take over the world, but so what? Anyway, something you stated in this post caught my attention. what you say about being hyperaware of people's emotions is what my narcissistic almost-ex husband once told me. He said hecan go into a room and read people so well that he can get almost anything he wants. However, he can never, ever get true love, connection and intimacy, so I feel sorry for him. All the sex and power and money in the world is not success.
greenranger8100 9 months ago
@54641231 You may take over the world, but so what? Anyway, something you stated in this post caught my attention. what you say about being hyperaware of people's emotions is what my narcissistic almost-ex husband once told me. He said hecan go into a room and read people so well that he can get almost anything he wants. However, he can never, ever get true love, connection and intimacy, so I feel sorry for him. All the sex and power and money in the world is not success.
greenranger8100 9 months ago
@greenranger8100 sounds like a reptile and a "sucessful" con man. good you got away.
thepixieful 5 months ago
I am a 19 year old male and a self aware narcissist I've been aware of my disorder for about a year (thanks to video's like this) I've tried to get a diagnosis but they basically said no why they didn't want to or even attempt to diagnose me, I don't know anyway I just wanted to say that its great being a narcissist its been proven that there is a direct link between the disorder and success I'd also like to say just to clear up any confusion that the narcissist continues in my next comment
54641231 1 year ago
This video was a very good explanation of NPD. My therapist helped me to discover that my mom had NPD in its purest form. To boldly put it, she is a toxic poison. She is so bad that my therapist recommended that I totally cut off all communication with her and I agreed with him. Once I cut her off, I finally began to focus on my life. She had no more feelings for me than she did for the person she sat next to on the bus. I was an object put on this earth to serve her. Sad but true.
angelamwatts 1 year ago
@angelamwatts excellent honest comment,i too have had to break all contact with my ex at the expense of losing my beautiful daughter to her..my life is virtually over
zeon008 11 months ago
@zeon008 When I was a small child and I would act out, my mom would say "I hate you, I wish you were never born. I should of had an abortion instead of having you, etc. I would ask her "why did you ever have me; I didn't ask to be born." Her response was "neither did I". That's about as narcissistic as you can get. She is flat out EVIL. I will never see nor talk to her again.
angelamwatts 11 months ago
@angelamwatts god,, ! and they will never apologise or realize what they have done and how this affects you even into late adulthood... severely toxic, i hope you can come to terms with it all. she has most likely had severe trauma in her childhood and this is what happens to these people.. my mother is one too. and its all very sad, and very toxic... know that its not you, its her.. she will find someone else anyway,,,
SovereignBeing 10 months ago
@SovereignBeing Yes, it is a sickness but there comes a time where the mentally ill have to be held accountable for their own behavior. She is not cognitively deficient to the point she has no concept as to what is "right" and what is "wrong". Yes, she did have a traumatic childhood but does that give her the "right" or an "excuse" to crap all over people? I say NO! It's extremely painful to cope with. I'm done. She's a toxic poison and I got rid of that poison!
angelamwatts 10 months ago
I have NPD I will take over the world !
5959512 1 year ago
So what if a person is aware that they are a narcissist and starts working on themselves. Do they still self-destruct?
LicoriceLain 1 year ago
I am taking a proactive choice to heal.....I am spirit living the human experience. I will not ever find myself with a narcisstic person again....again...this may sound corney....but from the heart ...thankyou for posting these videos. You are truly worthy of thankyou...I bet others would agree.
herbbieluvbug 1 year ago
I wish from my heart to thankyou for your videos on this subject. I learned of it on my own through the suffering and belittleing of my boyfriend of 5 yrs...He has all of the trates mentioned. I lost all my friends, because of him.....I tried my best to please the unpleased. I now suffer from fear of ppl. II seperated myself for so long from others due to trying to furfill the desires of the one I love and still do. I am afraid of others....and I realize this in time will go away. TY
herbbieluvbug 1 year ago
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mnbvxcvtgyhbncv 1 year ago
How is NPD different from BPD? I'd say my mother was NPD because to her way of thinking no one had a "right" to their feelings. Only she did and her feelings were always more important than anyone, or anything, else.
ktmggg 1 year ago
Thank you for posting your in-depth treatment of NPD. I have a question for you that was not addressed in the video series. Why do individuals who display NPD traits fearful of intimacy? Are they "weak" when a relationship turns intimate?
An important aspect of NPD is the covert way they exploit interpersonal relationships; to me this is the crux of the disorder that combined with the lack or unwillingness to feel empathy makes these individuals emotionally dangerous.
drjfs 1 year ago
@drjfs I think that they fear intimacy because they have very weak egos. This may sound contradictory, but in truth it is not. The sense of self in someone with NPD is a false one or an "imagined" one. In an intimate relationship, or a truly intimate relationship, I think that the false sense of self cannot tolerate a true union with another as it would mean a loss of identity. Something someone with a weak ego cannot tolerate. In a nutshell, people with NPD do not know themselves at all.
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago 3
@PsychDoctorate thank you for your insightful reply. I think that your last statement is the most telling when it comes to NPD.
drjfs 1 year ago
@PsychDoctorate Is it possible for a mother with low self-esteem to create a narcisstic child through which she can live vicariously? I know a classic narcissist who is actually encouraged by her quiet (door-mat-like) mother to be arrogant and haughty. The mother admires her for it and considers herself a "training ground" for the abuse she encourages the child to inflict on others. What kind of pathology are we looking at in a case like this? What's wrong with the mother in this case?
Damis10001 1 year ago
@PsychDoctorate
i think you wanted to say that the ego of the "true self" is extremely weak and vulnerable. So there is a problem here. When relationships get very intimate - the "false self" is left unarmed because it is not able to feed himself - it does not get the narcissistic supply anymore!!!! and that is because intimate relationships are not about supply anymore, but are about that powerful emotion called LOVE, which narcissist are incapable of feeling and therefore tend to avoid it.
glutamin111 8 months ago
@PsychDoctorate not loss of identity, loss of their CONTROL over the scene.
thepixieful 5 months ago
@drjfs I read a book that explained narcissists loath intimate relationships because they are in a catch 22 position. A narcissist would enjoy the "physical" aspects of sexual relations but in order to achieve that, he/she needs to be intimate with another person which undoubtedly would require the narcissist to "express" feelings of "tenderness" "openness" that narcissists are not capable of "genuinely" expressing. Narcissists need to feel in control. To fall in love is to lose that control
angelamwatts 10 months ago
@angelamwatts but they are masters of pretence so their acting skills get another brush up, they just end up treating that person the same way they treat their kids.. yes they should know right and wrong, but as they have no compassion or empathy its hard for them to know that it is them who have hurt you.. its great to hear you have broken the cycle...
SovereignBeing 10 months ago
@angelamwatts: thank you for your comments. I understand now how intimacy is not compatible with who a narcissist thinks he/she is, therefore, he/she cannot engage in true closeness in relationships.
drjfs 10 months ago
@angelamwatts yep exactly, their loss of control. bingo.
thepixieful 5 months ago
@angelamwatts thank you, your paragraph explained my parents marriage.....it was decades ago, but you solved the missing element. also the other day a school display was "do not bully" I think that is what narcissists do to their children at home. be well.....
thepixieful 1 month ago
@drjfs my guess and I am not the pro here in this field, they cannot let go fully as one does in intimacy of any kind, plus they like to maintain the reins of control.....CONTROL even in small stuff......and risk adverse for same reason.
thepixieful 5 months ago
The women of the 21st century lacks empathy because the government regulators in the health care system are weakening the very ego of man. Women are becoming more unhappierier at an early age, they give men viagra to improve function and confidence, we have lots of divorces because women are hard to control and dis-trustfull. Its a sort of policy for de-population.
baretta1983 1 year ago
@baretta1983 you have an interesting notion but my family life was traditional and almost 19 century and yet the narcissistic parents. so look at that again if you need to. be well. hope you have real intimacy and love in your life and a good holiday season.
thepixieful 1 month ago
this is a really good video.
DayaTom7 1 year ago
I believe that your genetic theory has a great deal of validity. I've been exposed to and abused by NPDs since birth, and my last lover was the worst case I've ever seen. In his family of six siblings, 3m and 3f, four that I had known long enough to see the symptomology, were NPDs. What a horrifying experience at holidays!!! I think NPDs embody evil and are the ultimate demographic for this.
gumbyzhi 1 year ago
I wonder if i have this shit myself, when i fucking look at the things that makes a person a sociopath they fit me, but really not too much or anything. i never feel sad or have empathy with anyone, except if they're a really good friend.
but yeah i never care when anyone dies. i don't want to be a bad person holy fuck no.
Lars1993 1 year ago
Only God can save us from such people.
telecalcu 1 year ago
I think you're right on the notion about the empathy trait being genetically. One side of my family all have many similarities in personality, and all revolve within the definitions of NPD. My mother was very abusive, not that much physically, but mentally. She schemed against me for some 17 years, making sure I was excluded from most social events and aspects. She clearly has a disorder, and sadly similarities can be seen in all my siblings and me...
finnie1st 1 year ago
these ppl sound like assholes : o is there no hope, just ignoring? Isn't that going to make it worse?
tweetylova09 1 year ago
When i told him, that I was getting divorced he said "Ben (my son of three boys) will loose the best grandfather the world has ever seen" I was floored "huh?" in the last 7 days i have cried and cried. Not only have i been defrauded openly, stupidly & very prosecutably - but it's my hero my dad. i lived in guilt to prove to me he is annihilating me. What is worse, my mother is worse + my brother (wares red suite)-i lived my first day today - My whole life was a lie - The pain of this little boy
michaelbenjaminsa 1 year ago
THE PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY IS THE NARCASSIST==== THE GOV AND CORPS!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE MUST STOP FEEDING THEIR UNSPIRITUAL SOCIETY--AND I DONT MEAN GET WRAPPED UP IN SOME BULLSHIT RELIGION BY SPIRITUAL..
twigfig 1 year ago
to whoever put this on, im not sure its just genetic look at the civilisation we live in it is all about the self, thats what consumerism relies on,the patriarchal society is bullshit , very unspiritual, it teaches us all narcissism, is fukin babylon evil shit, it doesnt encourage empathy does it!on top of that and for most the loss of innocence at a young age, we will have parents who hav been taught the same brattish selfish behaviour by gov and corps-media.. its obvious! global govz r shite
twigfig 1 year ago
what about if through the gradious aspect of a narcassist the person thinks they are helping everyone however on a more personal level they use this to excuse the actions and say they have empathy. they play down their intensly shitty actions, they talk over you and will always find some excuse to get out of how they treat other human beings, they seem to not get how much they damage others,want the victims to shut the fuk up,i find narcisists to be impossible people,and lotsa people are!
twigfig 1 year ago
@twigfig that describes my ex to a T
starlight2009xxx 1 year ago
Very Good Video! Very informative, thank you.
ISLAMisGlory 1 year ago
i m not feeling well....for sure i dont have NPD........But i think i m having BPD.could u guide me further
tulip282009 1 year ago
Could Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church be NPD?
Bagkaa 1 year ago
lol you love vampires
jk but nice series
Q2IN2Y 1 year ago
I am related to one...
I share the same house as him.
He is a terrible human being that manipulates the rest of my family.
They can't see it but I can...it breaks my heart...
BabyNeuron 1 year ago
@BabyNeuron exactly same here
aaaaaaaars 1 year ago
the people are not narcisists are the one with the problem not the other way around
hanamid 1 year ago
@hanamid Thats called projection my friend!
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
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Toxicslime1 7 months ago
muhuhuhuaaahhaahhaahaa
PostHuman2113 1 year ago
My husband is a narcissist and an alcoholic. What kind of alcohol treatment would work for him? I've already seen that AA doesn't/hasn't/will never work because it relies heavily on the ability to empathize and the ability to pay attention even when the discussion is not directly about the narcissist.
amgirliegirl 1 year ago
@amgirliegirl I forgot to add....With regard to AA, my husband is not capable of taking responsibility for his actions - another AA requirement. How can the need for alcohol treatment even be made clear to him?
amgirliegirl 1 year ago
@amgirliegirl You are in a tough situation and one with no easy answer or solution. When an addict is in the midst of their addiciton, personality disorder or no, the addiction takes over their behavior. I would try using reflective talking with your husband to try and get him to think about his behavior. Reflect back to him what he is saying to you and summarize it. He might then start to think about his behavior, its no guarantee, but it might start something. Every little drop helps!
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
@PsychDoctorate I really appreciate your response, but I think this may be oversimplifying the problem. There are a few narcissictis traits that you didn't cover. For example, narcissicts' inability to admit to any wrongdoing. This is so strong that they will lie outright, or even become violently angry at any suggestion that have made a mistake or have done something wrong. My husband has flown into frightening rages when I've so much as suggested he may have made a poor choice.
amgirliegirl 1 year ago
@amgirliegirl Also, the narcissictic need for constant adoration that goes way beyond a typical needy person. My husband regularly goes to his drinking friends and his family and lies to them about me so that he can get validation and sympathy from them. He feels their approval validates his actions even though this approval is based on the lies he's telling them, and enjoys the fact that they all hate me.
amgirliegirl 1 year ago
@amgirliegirl So I cannot even hint that there is a problem (inability to admit wrongdoing), and my feelings or hurts that he has caused me and my son are entirely immaterial (lack of empathy) cannot be employed. Further, because his friends and family don't know the truth of what's going on they are actually working against me (they truly believe that I had him arrested for spousal abuse just because he said something I didn't like??) instead of helping me get him to see that he has a problem.
amgirliegirl 1 year ago
hahahhahahhahhahhahahahhah haha
hanamid 1 year ago
@amgirliegirl Good morning, thats a tricky one especialy since it is common for Narcissists to be substance abusers and fall prey to addiction issus. A medical model might be better suited for his treatment. Although I hate to say it, you have to feed the "ego" to get him to want to stop drinking. He has to think he can do it and that it is his idea. Once out of the addiction cycle, he might start to change and become more empathetic, lets keep our fingers crossed. Not all alcoholics are N.
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
@amgirliegirl Divorce treatment
RuMaAaR 1 year ago
Great video, thanks for making it. But what strikes me is how similar its symptoms are to those of psychopaths.. I know that psychopathy is largely an innate trait, while narcissism is just a personality disorder. But the way you describe a narcissist's manipulation and lack of empathy reminded me of a psychopath's. I don't have any credentials in psyche, but I thought narcissists do ultimately have empathy - while psychopaths have no capacity for empathy? Is that right?
ADayWithAndrew 1 year ago
@ADayWithAndrew Good evening, The striking feature of all psychopaths is the lack of empathy. Narcissists as a subset of those with psycopathic features have none. However, they are rarely violent, most are covert. Other psychopaths, like those with ASPD show no remorse for their actions. They also have a whole host of other problems steming from at least 10 incidents of trauma in childhood. The spectrum of psychopathy ranges from slightly banal to overt agreesion, but all lack empathy.
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
Oh, that's right. Blame the parents. Divide and conquer...your patients' pocketbooks.
Fersomling 1 year ago
@Fersomling Abusive parents do a tremendous amount of psychological dammage to their children which they need to then spend time "correcting". Narcissitic parents objectify, parentify and are often hypercritical towards their offspring without having any balancing or redeming qualities on any other level. It is a sad and sorry situation. Thankfully truly abusive parents are in the minority.
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
Narcissists believe there is nothing wrong with them so they don't go for therapy. Even if they did seek help, they can't see themselves as others may see them. It's a no win situation. Take the dr's advice, and avoid them completely. The one good thing about knowing what a narcissist is, then you know it's them and not you. Because if you are involved with a narcissist they will undermine you and have you believing there is something wrong with you.
Luvinthelight 1 year ago 2
Narcissists lack the emotional element of Empathy.
Luvinthelight 1 year ago
LOL...see every single 9-11"debunker" on youtube...especially EdgemanLL2
homerbear46 1 year ago
Great vid. This same "genetic" connotation wrt "psychopathy" is a belief seemingly growing amongst academics. EI is missing in both the psychopath and narcissist but narcissism can be programmed through bad parenting and/or social validation since its increasing. EEG/MRI scans show interesting results when testing for "cold emotion" in psychopaths so it may apply to the narcissist? Checkout Romanian baby adoptions during the 80's, Reactive Attachment Disorder is interesting.
burgalarab 1 year ago
I have two question regarding narcissistic personality disorder?
1. Is it possible for someone with NPD to not be an amoral monster, as in they've intellectually or philosophically come to a moral conclusion?
2. Can not the feeling of being better but the constant desire to and sense that they are meant to be better than people some day be a sign of it? They have low self esteem because they aren't at the high position they believe they should have?
pacmansays 1 year ago
@pacmansays Some with NPD, a milder course will not be as "amoral" as some others. The stronger the traits the more likely they are to be interpersonally exploitive. Strong feelings of entitlement do not mean that one is supposed to be better but are more likely signs of a deluded mind or self delusion. There are those with NPD at all levels in society even at lower SES classes. Some have high self esteem others none!
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
@pacmansays Some with NPD, a milder course will not be as "amoral" as some others. The stronger the traits the more likely they are to be interpersonally exploitive. Strong feelings of entitlement do not mean that one is supposed to be better but are more likely signs of a deluded mind or self delusion.
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
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mslisakayedwards 1 year ago
The reason this set of 3 videos is helpful is to the other who were unknowingly victimized for so long. It helps to understand it has a genetic component. My father and my son who are now 67 and 25 both have all these symptoms. I have succombed to their extremely painful behavior until I started studying this recently. Now, I have to train myself to not let them make me so hurt.
mslisakayedwards 1 year ago
All I can do is laugh at this nonsense.
Narcissism is a gift! Couple it with a high IQ, then well you have one very gifted person.
Life is short. Don't be humbled by these fools that need to rationalize everything.
TheSkitz86 1 year ago
it's pleasant being in situations feeling superior, even more so for someone who have experienced alot of the opposite such as inferiority complex or abusive behavior, a narcissist thinks there's greater satisfaction being supperior to people than a normal relationship have to offer
SaerdnaOoOoo 1 year ago
That was informative and helpful. Thanks for putting that up. Where you bouncing a ball on a table while you spoke?
armydray13 1 year ago 2
Hi I think I have a small NPD. It really causes many problems, but most of narcissists do not want to find it as a problem.
There is one more narcisstic character - Tarzan. You can make a video about him.
theNguitar 1 year ago
My mother has chronic NPD. What's worse, my father plays the emasculated sycophant. Together they are formidable. I manage to control the rage inside me very well, medication helps with this, so do my young children and good wife. However, when my parents invade our home with my mother's entitlement to be listened to, "understood", and her chronic lack of empathy - my anger surfaces. I don't show it though. It takes me a few days to feel OK again after seeing them.
Thanks for the Video.
AdmiralBoom76 1 year ago 6
OMG! Unless you are financially depend on them, you are in control . For the health of you children you must limit their visits...to the PARK!! ..not at your home... I know it is VERY difficult to do but if you keep the health of you children in mind (front and foremost!), you can do it. I was married to an NPD but did not realize my situation. If I had, my children would'nt have endured the abuse. I don't ususally advise people but I know you are suffering... keep them out of your house!
HatRatt 1 year ago
@AdmiralBoom76 Have you thought about going No Contact? I've been NC with my Nmother for almost 4 years.
andreabaker2 1 year ago
@andreabaker2 for 20 years I only visited for dinners at holidays it was great, my life worked. now doing caregiving, time and age does not change them......
thepixieful 1 month ago
oh god, they arnt that bad. You just gotta know how to put them in their place and let them know you still love them jesus fucken christ.
megagnathos 2 years ago
Now i know who's my father and also who's is the woman that i married. i already get away to my father, now i need to get away from, my wife...
gamword 2 years ago 4
I feel I have similarities to the Narcissist that I will never feel comfortable or forgive myself for having.
RyunSharp 2 years ago
Yeah, after watching this I kinda felt the same way. However, I wonder if a true Narcissist would have the capacity to even realize this within themselves..
great vid :)
cremebruleec 2 years ago
Mr Psych Doctorate
Do you know a creationist vlogger formerly known as "VenomfangX"?
RyunSharp 2 years ago
I have seen some of his videos and have heard some interesting things about him. Some might say he has NPD in looking at him I think there is something else going on. I am in no place to assess, but I will say this, his deadeye look seems to indicate that he is not "connected" to reality or truly engaged with others. He is truly highly opinionated, irrational and unreasonable. His viewpoints are completely black and white.
PsychDoctorate 2 years ago
Do you really hold a doctorate in Psychology?
I only hold a Bachelor's, and sometimes I forget my stuff; be nice if I had someone to consult on some things.
pillsburydoughboy47 2 years ago
I am working towards a doctorate in Psychology. I have howerver had the "joyous" experience of working with so many people with NPD that it is astounding. Learning of the disorder put a lot of pieces together about the individuals I faced. I am even clear in my profile that I am "working towards a doctorate." Many of these videos are actually a way of not only educating others, but helping me clarify my points regarding advanced work in Psychology. My ultimate goal is to encourage thinking!
PsychDoctorate 2 years ago
sorry; I usually don't read profiles in detail.
pillsburydoughboy47 2 years ago
also, all the same, you still have more authority than me!
pillsburydoughboy47 2 years ago
Won't narcissists also maliciously ignore people?
That is, first, cause someone harm, then watch them suffer, and then, when their victim tries to confront them, just ignore them; won't narcissists do that? Or is that a different disorder?
pillsburydoughboy47 2 years ago
yes, this is the devaluation and discard phase. Not a pretty sight! On a larger scale those with ASPD will go so far as to kill those they think have no value to them any further!
PsychDoctorate 2 years ago
so, in other words if someone keeps you around but just ignores you, they are a potential murderer?
pillsburydoughboy47 2 years ago
@pillsburydoughboy47 yes, they ignore you when you try to make things right. Do YOU for YOU. the only answer to it......
thepixieful 1 month ago
@PsychDoctorate very informative video, nice work
Question-
1.if a person has the grandiosity of self-importance trait can it be assumed that other narcissitic traits are more likely to be present?
2.you did say that some of the traits are inter-connected,so, overall do most of the traits influence one another or let's say help reinforce one another? e.g. does having the self-importance trait cause the empathy trait to develop?
1one1republic 1 year ago
@1one1republic 1: Every human being has the traits to one degree or another, even grandiosity, grandiosity and self importance do not always mean you will find other NPD traits. However, most of the traits are interconnected to one degree or another, they are all on a similar spectrum. Many have described those with NPD as adults stuck at the age of 7 years, the "ME" years. The me and the lack of "we" or the inability to step into another shoes, is critical.
PsychDoctorate 1 year ago
Wow, this disorder explains cults.
soulinite 2 years ago
Most if not all cult leaders have a high degree of Narcissistic traits even if they are not dealing with the disorder. Its almost as if they are all cut from the same cloth, despite the differences in culture, era and ethnicity.
PsychDoctorate 2 years ago
@PsychDoctorate what about members who follow cultic leaders are they narcissistic also? I am finally prospering AND also feel well. but parents were so hard to figure out, until I read this stuff. I take after another relative who was well adjusted and humanitarian. caregiving for them can wear me out.
thepixieful 1 month ago
My mom is borderline but she also has strong narcissistic traits. She drives everyone crazy!
And it is true that as she ages, she is getting worse.
iloveterriers 2 years ago
I thought more men were narcissists than women. The women tend to be more histrionic.
iloveterriers 2 years ago
The more recent studies indicate that it is evenly spread across the sexes. The bias towards women being more histrionic than men is slowly starting to dissapate as well. Theodore Millon has done a lot of current research into personality disorder and his works are quite enlightening as to the reality behind them all. One thing which continues to baffle scientists, psychologists and lay people alike is the fact that PD's show up randomly even in relatively ordinary families and family systems
PsychDoctorate 2 years ago
Yeah, I don't get that. My mom is a severe borderline but my sister and myself, well, we turned out ok. We're quite introspective and aware of who we are, and so forth. It is rather mysterious how it pops up randomly like that.
iloveterriers 2 years ago
@PsychDoctorate A relative has many of these traits but does not have the grandiose thinking... but extreme self centerdness, lack of empathy, sees her children as an extension of herself and , although she appears timid, it is mostly an act and she goes into rages if challenged. She also has rarely admitted to wrongdoing although there has been so much of it,. She denies events occurred at all. However, no grandiosity. Would she still be classified as a narcissist.and if not, what could she be?
KatieCosmicessence 9 months ago
My ex gf has NPD, she brought me to my knees and practically destroyed my mind. Never once did i ever an apology for any of the disgusting and agonizing things she put me through. Her memory lingers as scars on my body and soul. Stay away, they can't be helped.
Janopooh 2 years ago 2
thank you so much this was so helpful to me in my process of disconnecting from the narcissists in my life. great job.
red12512 2 years ago
Excellent series on NPD. My heart goes out to those who find themselves in a relationship with a Narcissist.
missreggae1luv 2 years ago 13
Forgive me doctor for using some form of profanity, but I can't help but say,"Holy Shit!!!!"
McCaler 2 years ago
I just want to thank you for this particular video. I was in a 5 year relationship with a woman that has NPD. I have been out of that relationship for a year and I am just beginning to grasp what NPD is. This helped.
walkaboutwithme 2 years ago 3
Really? Geez, that must have been a battle! Please don't get me wrong. I'm not poking fun of you, I'm just a little shocked about your experience. That's all. :)
McCaler 2 years ago
Yet to conclude, I could NEVER use a child, harm a child, use a child, it is wrong and giving such information to the public is demeaning and hurtful as enough terrible things are said about us and very little positive. This negative talk esp. by docter's can lead someone with NPD depressed, suicidal and unworthy of existence, just because I have this does not mean I am not worthy of being in the human race. I do have feelings and love but as stated, only for very few and I hold them dearly.
darkastrologer 2 years ago
I am a diagnosed NPD, at first it was a relief to be diagnosed because I could not understand my 'difference' from normal people, having belived I was only a highly vain extremly angry person. I would though like to make a point. I personally do not like all the negative talk about our kind, and I especially do not like the association that "I" would personally use children?!!. I adore my children, my spouse and one friend. I do not care about anyone else and yes, I use people for my gain.
darkastrologer 2 years ago
I listen to other ppl, when they have problems. But i kinda dont know how he/she feels....but i still listen ? Am i lagging empathy ?
Wolfenflame 2 years ago
There's probably should be a study by now. Scan their brains to see which region is cause these. My guess is there should be a common region.
duguder 2 years ago
Great video, well done. I learnt from this video about a person I know. On a lighter note, in some sentences you sound like Dr Evil from Austin Powers.... : )
TimeRabbit 2 years ago
;-) LOL! Interesting food for thought, well my friends have also said I sound like Dr Evil as well. And a dang evil laugh as well. Sends chills down my friends spines when they hear it. But I am not truly evil inside, just a bad boy!
PsychDoctorate 2 years ago
This video was very informative about NPD. Having been around someone like this for a very long time, it gave me even more insight into this
disorder, so thanks for the video.
SandynFla 2 years ago
Touchin film mate..alow me 2 introduce myself I am Johhny a good friend Of Jeremy who thinks he suffers from this NPD...because of this he has created me the ever so outgoin loud mouth alter ego of who he desires 2 be....Question? should he isolate himself from those he loves cuz he dont wanna hurt them? cuz if he dont stay inside? Johnny Comes out mate!!! Now b4 I go Doc tell me if my friend Jeremy cant be happy without me...how will he get better? I leave that up in ayer doc......Toodles
GirlsStrip4Me 2 years ago
In this segment, it seems like you're talking about a sociopath, not a narcissist. As far as I understand it, narcissist lack empathy but they do have feelings; whereas a sociopath or psychopath have no conscience at all and do seek out victims. A narcisisst is nothing more than a person who can't be human in the traditional sense because he can't go back to his true self wthout a painfull process so they choose to live in a pretend world where the only thng that matters is them.
brik9r 2 years ago 7
@brik9r Child of a narcissist here. The line between sociopathy and narcissism is very thin. I can tell you this information corresponds with my experience of my parent completely. Though there may be truth in your final statement, the words "nothing more" make it sound like it is not that serious. I have gone through and am still going through hell because of this and I can not have any contact whatsoever with my NPD parent nor with my other family (cult) members that are under his influence.
aaaaaaaars 1 year ago
@brik9r I have been both suicidal and homicidal. Taken lots of drugs. You tend to project the abuse your own parent(s) are putting onto you and denying and making you deny at the same time onto outsiders/society. You are extermely paranoid, in a constant fight or flight survival mode. You have no control of your own reality/life, confused, have no idea whats going on. Join a gang, become a terrorist, whatever. Not far-fetched at all.
aaaaaaaars 1 year ago
@brik9r In my extensive experience with narcissists, they ARE sociopathic and/or psychopathic. They go from victim to victim, using them up and abusing them. They live in a pretend world where they have no need for a conscience becuase they do no wrong. They are extremely dangerous; yes, even evil.
gumbyzhi 1 year ago
This is arrogance which I possess and I am very ashamed to say that I have been like this for years. I think it is good for people to listen to this, and the first step is identifying that you are like this and it will help those, like me, recover and be better than we think we truly are.
jcs75050 2 years ago
I will admit that until I listed to this and realized what this was, I actually am this way. It is very sad to admit, but I will say I am willing to change and not be this way. I love to be in total control, and have a sense that everything my way is the correct way and that things will not screw up if done or seen my way.
jcs75050