Sometimes when a guy holds the door open for me, I'll just stand there and wait..."Go in," they say. "You first." Why do I have to have the door open for me? I know it's meant to be nice, but you wouldn't do that for a man. Don't do it to me. Or, at least don't get pissed if I decide to hold the door open for you. My boyfriend used to feel weird when I did it, but now he totally gets it. :D So men hate me holding the door open for them. Does that mean they finally understand how we feel? Nope.
@fruitikay Wow, I hold the door for women all the time out of respect for the gender. I also hold the door for older people, male and female. If I were to come across a woman who refused to accept that courtesy, I would just simply walk in and allow the door to shut behind me.
@fruitikay Well, congrats, because that is exactly what would happen. No sign of respect and no remorse. If a person refuses grace, then they should not be surprised when it becomes no longer freely offered.
@TheGrayman1234 Comparing me, a woman, to the elderly, is sad. I'm not old. I can open the door myself. Like I said, my bf opens the door for me all the time, just as much as I open the door for him. If he got butt-hurt about me doing the same for him, there would be no door-holding at all. The whole point is that we feel men only do it because it makes them FEEL like a "good guy" even though he could go home and beat you. Don't expect women to gravel at your feet for just opening the door.
LOL I blocked that dude, sorry you were harassed on my channel for not wanting to be treated like a decorated fuck object thats too weak to open a door.
I just can't keep up with the menz stupidity it seems.
So its now rude to be nice to a woman? And makes me a potential rapist? And you're the only real feminist? And men shouldn't have the right to be a dick?
Men seem to like defending chivalry by saying they do it for everyone or they're just being nice. Of course half the time I encounter someone insisting to pay for my dinner they think that entitles them to sex with my body afterward. As a consequence I don't accept gifts anymore.
@markusmuley No it's just an insult for the misogynistic comment you left to iremythpurr. Why don't you take "responsibilty" and apologise for your disgusting remark? Victim blaming is for the cowardly and for people who refuse to examine society. I have no problems insulting pieces of shit like you, you deserve it and more.
btw what has this to do with her video? Why do you insinuate that she is in a perpetual state of victimhood?
@markusmuley Fuck you, you piece of shit! Who are you to psychoanalyse her? And what is it with all this victim blaming bullshit? Also, she is not in need of your false sincerity from a scummy fuck like you. Please go eat a dick!
OK, as a male I would wish to know how feminists want us to be with women? Being nice, considerate and loving without paternalistic overtones is not enough... I always saw women as equals and I must admit even superior in many ways to males, but I never thought that being a chivalrous gentleman is such an offensive behavior. What I feel lacks from this video is the solution. If you are nice, you are a submissive wimp, if you are a "real man" you are an asshole, so whats the way?
Dude, I would like men to stop looking at us, stop raping us, stop patronizing us and stop looking to us for all the fucking answers: "how do i stop acting like a sexist pig?" JUST STOP. Its THAT easy.
Chivalry to me is just a playbook that both men and women can look at for guidance if they want to. Generally though you can find out what sort of relationship can be had once some communication has happened. I've been told straight out the box to "Stop treating her like a princess and like a regular person" after some male minded confusion I just complied and of coarse inquired about her feelings on the matter. Sexual relationships aren't easy but get easier if communication is key.
@Unworshipediety I think that a lot of people confuse chivalry with respect. People think that holding doors open for women, treating her like a delicate princess, etc is required for "respecting" her. Well no. Respecting a woman does not involve those things. In fact, you can respect a woman and love her without doing any of those things. It's too bad that a lot of women, because of society and gender roles, EXPECT chivalry from all men, while men think its the only way to show respect to women
@fruitikay I think I agree for the most part...the only reason I don't completely agree is because of how much sense that makes as you must have been reading my mind. Oh and I hope you have a happy new year:-)
I agree. Chivalry is a very negative thing. It is and always has been patronage and acts of chivalry really imply that a woman is less capable than a man. That she is in need of men's goodwill to compensate for her frailty, whether it be physical or emotional. Clearly this does reinforce patriarchal gender roles. It also clearly divides women, in very much the same way all oppressed peoples are divided, offering some of them a form of mock privilege as incentive to embrace the status quo.
Yup, even though when a guy holds a door for me I say thanks and walk through, I still know this is not a guarantee. The guy could even be trying to cover up his real attitude with this behavior.
@TehHermgirl Exactly, relationships are just screwed up because we live in such a screwed up society. We look for respect in ways that often is disrespectful to others, or we act a certain way to make impressions on others.
Yeah, chivalry's bad. The problem is that a lot of women buy into it, and they expect the man to be "chivalrous." It's so sad that the vast majority of girls out there either want you to be all chivalrous and overly-masculine, or they want to tie you up with a leesh and berate you for simply existing.
I'm not saying most guys aren't assholes too, they are, but that is a little thing I've noticed.
@Ziggie1o1 There can be an in between. There are virtuous and honorable things in chivalry. It's context, man. I've met some women who find it totally annoying, I figure that shit out pretty fast so I take a step back. But my momz raised me to be the type of person that gives women the right of way, offers the seat, opens doors n shit. I don't feel castrated if a woman opens a door for me tho. After all, it's not hurting anyone in itself.
@marcelthemaoist There can be an in between, but you don't see it very often.
I don't have a problem with women who open the door for me, and want to help me out. The girls I have a problem with are the girls who call me every 3 minutes to ask me where I've been, and call me sexist and say I'm cheating on her because I talked to another girl. OK that's an extreme example, but you get what I'm trying to say.
To me chivalry is about being a nice guy or "gentleman" and treating your woman nice, showing you are willing to perform "masculine" type things, some women prefer to be more effeminate and so they like that, some men are effeminate and don't perform chivalry. Yes there are aspects of machismo in it and it is male-centric behavior, but in itself it isn't sexist. It depends on the male being chivalrous, if he is sexist or not. But yes, often the guy who is doing this in public is an ass at home.
But yeah the rest of what you brought it is so true, it's so hard to find an equal ground in relationships these days. Everything is corrupted by capitalism, especially relationships.
@GiantKukri OMFG it's the PC fucking police. Why don't you fucking arrest me because I think I should treat MY daughter nice to? Just like you should treat YOUR mother. STFU.
Sometimes when a guy holds the door open for me, I'll just stand there and wait..."Go in," they say. "You first." Why do I have to have the door open for me? I know it's meant to be nice, but you wouldn't do that for a man. Don't do it to me. Or, at least don't get pissed if I decide to hold the door open for you. My boyfriend used to feel weird when I did it, but now he totally gets it. :D So men hate me holding the door open for them. Does that mean they finally understand how we feel? Nope.
fruitikay 2 months ago
@fruitikay Wow, I hold the door for women all the time out of respect for the gender. I also hold the door for older people, male and female. If I were to come across a woman who refused to accept that courtesy, I would just simply walk in and allow the door to shut behind me.
TheGrayman1234 2 months ago
@TheGrayman1234 "I would just simply walk in and allow the door to shut behind me." Good. That's what I want.
fruitikay 2 months ago
@fruitikay Well, congrats, because that is exactly what would happen. No sign of respect and no remorse. If a person refuses grace, then they should not be surprised when it becomes no longer freely offered.
TheGrayman1234 2 months ago
@TheGrayman1234 Comparing me, a woman, to the elderly, is sad. I'm not old. I can open the door myself. Like I said, my bf opens the door for me all the time, just as much as I open the door for him. If he got butt-hurt about me doing the same for him, there would be no door-holding at all. The whole point is that we feel men only do it because it makes them FEEL like a "good guy" even though he could go home and beat you. Don't expect women to gravel at your feet for just opening the door.
fruitikay 2 months ago
@fruitikay Wow, you do have an issue there. Judge a person by their actions, ALL of their actions.
TheGrayman1234 2 months ago
@fruitikay
LOL I blocked that dude, sorry you were harassed on my channel for not wanting to be treated like a decorated fuck object thats too weak to open a door.
I just can't keep up with the menz stupidity it seems.
iremythpurr 2 months ago
@iremythpurr I know he was retarded lol. He acted like I should bow at his feet and congratulate him for admitting such a "noble" gesture. XD
fruitikay 2 months ago
So its now rude to be nice to a woman? And makes me a potential rapist? And you're the only real feminist? And men shouldn't have the right to be a dick?
Jarody 2 months ago
@Jarody
yup.
iremythpurr 2 months ago
@iremythpurr
Alright,just checking
Jarody 2 months ago
in a way, Chivalry is kind of "The White Man's Burden" of sexism.
GiantKukri 2 months ago 3
@GiantKukri
LOL totes!
iremythpurr 2 months ago
Men seem to like defending chivalry by saying they do it for everyone or they're just being nice. Of course half the time I encounter someone insisting to pay for my dinner they think that entitles them to sex with my body afterward. As a consequence I don't accept gifts anymore.
xXBarbeloXx 2 months ago 4
@markusmuley No it's just an insult for the misogynistic comment you left to iremythpurr. Why don't you take "responsibilty" and apologise for your disgusting remark? Victim blaming is for the cowardly and for people who refuse to examine society. I have no problems insulting pieces of shit like you, you deserve it and more.
btw what has this to do with her video? Why do you insinuate that she is in a perpetual state of victimhood?
29harveydinio 2 months ago 2
@markusmuley Fuck you, you piece of shit! Who are you to psychoanalyse her? And what is it with all this victim blaming bullshit? Also, she is not in need of your false sincerity from a scummy fuck like you. Please go eat a dick!
29harveydinio 2 months ago 2
OK, as a male I would wish to know how feminists want us to be with women? Being nice, considerate and loving without paternalistic overtones is not enough... I always saw women as equals and I must admit even superior in many ways to males, but I never thought that being a chivalrous gentleman is such an offensive behavior. What I feel lacks from this video is the solution. If you are nice, you are a submissive wimp, if you are a "real man" you are an asshole, so whats the way?
eydos 2 months ago
@eydos
Dude, I would like men to stop looking at us, stop raping us, stop patronizing us and stop looking to us for all the fucking answers: "how do i stop acting like a sexist pig?" JUST STOP. Its THAT easy.
iremythpurr 2 months ago 4
@eydos
If you need extra help understanding there are hundreds and hundreds of pieces of literature by feminists that will help guide you along the way.
iremythpurr 2 months ago
Chivalry to me is just a playbook that both men and women can look at for guidance if they want to. Generally though you can find out what sort of relationship can be had once some communication has happened. I've been told straight out the box to "Stop treating her like a princess and like a regular person" after some male minded confusion I just complied and of coarse inquired about her feelings on the matter. Sexual relationships aren't easy but get easier if communication is key.
Unworshipediety 2 months ago
@Unworshipediety I think that a lot of people confuse chivalry with respect. People think that holding doors open for women, treating her like a delicate princess, etc is required for "respecting" her. Well no. Respecting a woman does not involve those things. In fact, you can respect a woman and love her without doing any of those things. It's too bad that a lot of women, because of society and gender roles, EXPECT chivalry from all men, while men think its the only way to show respect to women
fruitikay 2 months ago
@fruitikay I think I agree for the most part...the only reason I don't completely agree is because of how much sense that makes as you must have been reading my mind. Oh and I hope you have a happy new year:-)
Unworshipediety 2 months ago
@Unworshipediety I hope you do too. :D
fruitikay 2 months ago
I agree.
abutnotantisocial 2 months ago
"these are courtesys men do to certain women to feel like gentlemen, it has nothing to do with actually treating women with respect" - true.
MensRifleAssociation 2 months ago
I agree. Chivalry is a very negative thing. It is and always has been patronage and acts of chivalry really imply that a woman is less capable than a man. That she is in need of men's goodwill to compensate for her frailty, whether it be physical or emotional. Clearly this does reinforce patriarchal gender roles. It also clearly divides women, in very much the same way all oppressed peoples are divided, offering some of them a form of mock privilege as incentive to embrace the status quo.
Brooklyn83 2 months ago 4
This reminds me a lot of the split between reformists and revolutionaries.
juliaisafilmbuff123 2 months ago
Yup, even though when a guy holds a door for me I say thanks and walk through, I still know this is not a guarantee. The guy could even be trying to cover up his real attitude with this behavior.
TehHermgirl 2 months ago
@TehHermgirl Exactly, relationships are just screwed up because we live in such a screwed up society. We look for respect in ways that often is disrespectful to others, or we act a certain way to make impressions on others.
marcelthemaoist 2 months ago
Yeah, chivalry's bad. The problem is that a lot of women buy into it, and they expect the man to be "chivalrous." It's so sad that the vast majority of girls out there either want you to be all chivalrous and overly-masculine, or they want to tie you up with a leesh and berate you for simply existing.
I'm not saying most guys aren't assholes too, they are, but that is a little thing I've noticed.
Ziggie1o1 2 months ago
@Ziggie1o1 There can be an in between. There are virtuous and honorable things in chivalry. It's context, man. I've met some women who find it totally annoying, I figure that shit out pretty fast so I take a step back. But my momz raised me to be the type of person that gives women the right of way, offers the seat, opens doors n shit. I don't feel castrated if a woman opens a door for me tho. After all, it's not hurting anyone in itself.
marcelthemaoist 2 months ago
@marcelthemaoist There can be an in between, but you don't see it very often.
I don't have a problem with women who open the door for me, and want to help me out. The girls I have a problem with are the girls who call me every 3 minutes to ask me where I've been, and call me sexist and say I'm cheating on her because I talked to another girl. OK that's an extreme example, but you get what I'm trying to say.
Ziggie1o1 2 months ago
To me chivalry is about being a nice guy or "gentleman" and treating your woman nice, showing you are willing to perform "masculine" type things, some women prefer to be more effeminate and so they like that, some men are effeminate and don't perform chivalry. Yes there are aspects of machismo in it and it is male-centric behavior, but in itself it isn't sexist. It depends on the male being chivalrous, if he is sexist or not. But yes, often the guy who is doing this in public is an ass at home.
marcelthemaoist 2 months ago
But yeah the rest of what you brought it is so true, it's so hard to find an equal ground in relationships these days. Everything is corrupted by capitalism, especially relationships.
marcelthemaoist 2 months ago
@marcelthemaoist "your woman"
>.>
GiantKukri 2 months ago
Comment removed
marcelthemaoist 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@GiantKukri OMFG it's the PC fucking police. Why don't you fucking arrest me because I think I should treat MY daughter nice to? Just like you should treat YOUR mother. STFU.
marcelthemaoist 2 months ago