Richard Bitter's Favorite Joke

[HeyItsCdub]

I didn't know the cop was saying "knock knock" until the 17th or 18th viewing.

[strungoutbeaner]

Emile hirsch??

[TheMasquerade6]

why the african kids don't have legs? so they couldn't run hungry

[calumisdead]

WHY DID THE LITTLE BOY FALL OF HIS BIKE? HE GOT HIT BY A FRIDGE. HAHA SUCK FRIDGE YOU LITTLE SHIT.

[Ezio43]

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

[syntheticxblood]

hahah fucking genious

[Darksoulsplaya]

Literally the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time... I'm such a bad person :p

[LoseGrenadePin]

I dont get it :P

[hinnatvoimassa]

like/unlike-ratio quite high

[RGavin11]

@hinnatvoimassa I know, not even a trace of lightsaber anywhere !

[mesner5]

where is the place where irrisponsible teens, hang out?

Autopsy

[xXgrungie]

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Getting raped.

[keenfrizzle]

Here's a good one: Why is little Timmy sad?

Because a frog is stapled to his face.

[Blubrackets]

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream. Cause he got hit by a bus

[TheC0kiemonster]

what do you call a kid with no arms, legs, or eyes and has a cleft lip? Names

[BananaTheBig]

@TheC0kiemonster i like bo burnham too

[deathwaitsfornoone]

How many kids with down syndrome does it take to put in a light bulb? Who knows, but it sure as hell would be funny to watch.

[Planetaryy]

That hat is so perfect for this. And on Paul.

[somorastik]

great actor.

[TdotSoul]

This never gets old

[MCKT2806]

@TdotSoul LOL it's fucking amazing :D

[emosewa543]

Bam Margera?

[snakevids]

is that dicaprio

[BoxCraft]

Haikus are awesome

But sometimes they dont make sense

Refridgerator

[TheC0kiemonster]

@BoxCraft Mrs calmer??

[MasterAndreRaven]

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I'm going to fuck you

With a rake.

[SweetPotatoVInes]

@edanny311 FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY OVERUSED MEME

[LilShaggy82]

@SweetPotatoVInes im sry but whats a meme?

[Gorillazunleashed]

@LilShaggy82 your on the internet, and you do not know what a meme is?

[LilShaggy82]

@Gorillazunleashed .......... yes

[Gorillazunleashed]

@LilShaggy82 .......... lol

[MarcoFriendino]

@LilShaggy82 you are a lucky guy. A random internet guy is going to give you his time and a proper definition of the term "meme".

PART 1

As you know, the "gene" is a molecular unit of heredity of a living organism, as wikipedia says. have you got two eyes? Well, you have a gene for that (actually you have much more than one gene for that). your genes describes what you are: your finger, your lungs, your digestion process, you blood, ecc..

[MarcoFriendino]

@LilShaggy82 PART 2

We transfer our genes to our offspring. Successfull genes rapidly spread when they help you to fit the environment you live in, they may quickly desappear, they spread... And this is evolution. Now, next step. what if also the culture is a combination of single molecular unit of knowledge? what if an idea just fit your head and if you just feel to share (implicitly or explicitly) that idea with others?

[MarcoFriendino]

@LilShaggy82 PART 3

You would have ideas that quickly spread from head to head? You would have a MEME! A single knowledge unit that can spread, can conquere the entire human culture... you would have an evolving and changing human culture. And that's exactly what we have. According with this theory religion are just big fat clusters of meme.

[MarcoFriendino]

@LilShaggy82 PART 4

Jokes, concepts, everything is a meme. In internet the word "meme" mean a famous video, a phrase, ana habit or an acronym that, somehow, spread through the whole internet. Have you ever been rick rolled? You just hit a meme. Also lurk moar.

[TechnosaurMusic]

@MarcoFriendino You get a minute of applause for each of those parts.

[craterblast]

@MarcoFriendino wow

[Xberzerkerai]

@MarcoFriendino You are the biggest fucking rampart cancer cell I've ever fucking seen in my life, just fucking stop, you're making me physically ill.

[MarcoFriendino]

@Xberzerkerai mission accomplished. 

[Xberzerkerai]

@MarcoFriendino "OH WAIT EVERYONE I WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO BE RETARDED! GOSH YOU ALL GOT TROLLED HARD SO HARD, LOOK HOW MAD YOU ARE LOLOLOLOL!!!111!!!1ONE XD"

I hope you get a fucking kidney stone.

[harbourlunatic23]

@MarcoFriendino cancer

[GreenGearMood]

@SweetPotatoVInes Funny, I knew exactly what shitty overused meme it was just by reading THIS comment.

[noahNalex]

Roses are Red

Violets are Pineapples

I'm making no sense....... Refrigerator.

[playingforbritain]

Roses are red

Wool is thick

Come to my house

And I'll show you my stamp collection :)

[Fancycalgone]

Roses are roses

Violets are violets

Watch out

Captain obvious strikes again

(Also im terrible at poems C:)

[MondoMiniman]

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer

[Schubijak]

@MondoMiniman Hehehe, classic!

[opti95]

@MondoMiniman what do homeless people get for christmas?

nothing.

[sarge301]

@MondoMiniman why did the little boy drop his ice-cream?

because he was hit by a bus.

[Mewfan]

@MondoMiniman Hehehe. Classic.

[mentallas]

Roses are red

Lemons are sour

Now open your legs,

And give me an hour.

[Wrebble]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

You know..

You Know Who?

Exactly. Avada Kedavra!!

[DedicatedToHelping]

roses are red

violets are blue

everyone shut the fuck up

or i'll kill you

[keenfrizzle]

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Doorbell Repairman.

[IAmUnleashed1]

what did he say? I didnt understand

[alkmoan02]

Roses are red

violets are blue

i'm in your bed

going poo poo.

[MajorFacepalm12]

@alkmoan02 THAT'S NOT FUNNY

[alkmoan02]

I used to like knock knock jokes.

Then I took an arrow to the knee.

[TheNoSanity]

Everyone is addicted to flowers around here.

[TheKPStudios]

Knock knock.

Come in.

[curvepod]

@TheKPStudios ur a dumbass

[TheKPStudios]

@curvepod So was your mom for having you :D

[xP3t3]

combobreakeeerrr!

[SnuggiesandLove]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I hate ryhming

Octopuss

[Sefrts]

Roses are grey

Violets are grey

and im colorblind, fuck

[Morphgenesis94]

Roses are brown

Violets are brown

Someone took a shit in my garded

Again....

[sneaksmasher]

roses are red

violets are blue

this has nothing to do with the video

so fuck you

[robrams14]

roses are red

violets are blue

hehe classic

[joeyjordison72]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I used to make these jokes too

But then I took an arrow to the knee.

[theDarkAlleyPress]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

hand me the keys

you fucking cocksucker.

[proggod876]

roses are gay

violets are gayer

shut the fuck up

lets listen to slayer

[loliver231]

Enough with the "roses are red violets are blue" shit already!

[Jessdmann]

Roses used to be red

Violets used to be blue

then they took

an arrow to the knee.

[nobetterthenbob]

Roses are blue

Violets are green

These pills aren't prescription

If you know what I mean

[CasualShredder]

This video...is my favorite joke. Sorry, cheesy joke, but I thought I'd offer you guys a break from these poems.

[aznofjapan]

Roses are Red.

Violets are Blue.

I found a rag.

This smell like chloroform to you?

[LekkerBewegen]

Roses are Red.

Violets are Blue.

I've got a Knife.

Get in the Van.

[seedililbarf]

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus.

[theguyinthefunnyhat]

Roses are sick

Violets are twisted.

Bend over love

your about to be fisted :P

[MrVulgaris]

@Failepic30 Best one

[6spongey98]

@Failepic30 Roses are gray

Violets are gray

I'm colorblind.

Fuck.

[TheGameGuy31]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Whats with all the poems?

I guess I'll make one too.

[VardenPL]

Roses are red,

Canada is purple.

I suck at poems.

Refrigerator.

[Tuzzz94]

what happened to the eight second?

[EggtasticTaco]

@aurthuswow1 it's "ma'am your son is dead" not "ma'am I raped your son"

[WhatTheFuck235]

Roses are brown,

Violets are brown,

Who the fuck took a shit in my garden!?!

[WAYWAYWAYOuch]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Word.

[aurthuswow1]

man knock knock

woman who there

man the police

woman the police who

man mam i raped your son

Richard bitter hehe classic

[HORSEtheaccount]

What is this?? new youtube and people think they can use old terrible comments again?

[ShanfredMetalface]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

This line doesn't rhyme,

And neither does this one.

[xDrickk]

Roses are gray,

Violets are gray,

It fucking sucks

Being a dog.

[JuliusIsMe]

Knock Knock, who's there? The Police. The police who? Man, your son is dead. Hehe, classic.

[BurglaryoftheSenses]

@JuliusIsMe Yes, we heard it.

[chickennoodlesoup901]

Highest rated comments over the last 5 months:

*5 months ago* - "roses are red violets are blue..."

*today* - "roses are red violets are blue..."

I've suddenly lost faith in the youtube community.

[dvo12]

This is not a poem.

[bagsofunproductions]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Omae wa mo,

Shindeiru.

[camcorder16]

Roses are brown

Violets are brown

Who the fuck took a shit in my garden!

[HouseOMine26]

@camcorder16 roses are red

violets are red

I think I killed somebody.

[WhatTheFuck235]

@camcorder16 I couldn't stop laughing for 2 minutes xD

[hoeraufist]

People writing poems about wanting people to stop writing poems are not helping their cause.

[whoyouuu]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

MAM YOUR SON IS DEAD!

;0

[The0HN0ES]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This fad is shit

And will outlive you.

[BruisedEyeSockets]

It's so classic, it's not even necessary to make a video of it.

[AlexanderJVelicky]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Shut the fuck up,

and stop writing poems.

[sweet58441]

people below me are fags, F A G S fags

[InsensibleMastodonte]

the reactions.. CLASSIC

[Urindunk]

It's like the people who watches the videos these guys make don't really understand it... Then just resort to making stupid comments that are alike in one way or the other... what's up with that?

[mitkou123]

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

C'mon, I've been screwing you for half an hour and u still haven't learned my name?

[Loo0Lzz]

Knock Knock

Come in...

[BiGTiMeNeRD007]

Rose are red

Violets are blue

Your mom gives the best head

from here all the way to Timbuktu

[Scarypker]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue

In Soviet Russia, poem writes YOU

[Jocke343]

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Screw this i'm outta here.

[BurningMarmite]

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

I don't smell,

but you sure do.

[TheRydog100]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor Who?

HOW DID YOU KNOW!?

[HiImNickWhoAreU]

[Insert witty poem]

I grant you permission to thumbs this up.

[ScooterBetaBeta]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I'm going to fuck you with a rake.

[MrDeylen07]

Roses are grey

Violets are grey

I'm colour blind

and shit at poems

[MajorFacepalm12]

@MrDeylen07 Roses are grey.

Violets are grey.

I'm dead.

Deal with it.

[RPusdoNUTZLOLZ9]

roses are red

violets are blue

i have five fingers

the middle one's for you

[haghebaert]

@RPusdoNUTZLOLZ9 your thumb is not a finger :p

[RPusdoNUTZLOLZ9]

@haghebaert

hahaha, good point.

though i kinda thought it was pretty good :b

[wexham08]

@RPusdoNUTZLOLZ9 4 fingers and a thumb TROLOLOLOLOLO

[SRStrollisSRS]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

i have a gun

get in the van

[XxBeatboxeRxHaydeNxX]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

everyone is making a poem

So im doing it to

[MegaShroom22]

Roses are flowers,

Violets are too,

Violets are purple,

NOT FUCKING BLUE.

[AINGELPROJECT667]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue

What the fuck

Is with all these poems in the comments, and why am I contributing to them?

[SoCalBayouMan]

Roses are grey

Violets are grey

ROFL

I'm a dog

[SRStrollisSRS]

@SoCalBayouMan LOL

[megawaffle100]

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have Alzheimer's,

Cheese on toast

[MVSXE]

C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!

[superiguana1]

Roses are red

violets are blue

youre minimally clothed

shall i fuck you?

[chrisprinskou]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

If you squeeze it too hard

Your d!ck will be too

[Bastardoom]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I put my dick in a blender

How about you?

[alextheasiangamer]

roses are red

violets are blue

the fuck is up with all the poems?

shittt i dont know

[amohotepv]

Roses are read

Waffles are blue

'Til that's sorted out

THere's no sex for you

[sebob123]

@amohotepv Ew. D:<

[ideeman1994]

Roses are red,

Violets are Blue,

This stupid poem

Will get a negative vote too...

[ThePersonofComents]

Roses are red,

Comments aren't true,

Someday this fad

Will outlive you.

[boydkoers]

hahahah nice!! 5SF is the best!

[TheFiliusMortis]

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Whoever made this stupid fad

I will kill you.

[Jgriffel745]

Roses Are Red

Violets are blue

My stomach is grumbling

I gotta go poo

[sebob123]

@Jgriffel745 Poo doesn't come out of your stomach.

[Dragonce99]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This joke

Is getting old

[ScotlandPlays]

Best fucking video I have ever seen!!

[TheManOfLegends]

Roses are grey

violets are grey

everything is grey

im a dog

[Shimus36]

Best 5SF. I think it's because the wit is jampacked with a hellafunny punchline.

[JJJaakeeEe]

Who started these poems!

I will find you...

[fishharp]

@JJJaakeeEe Roses are red, Violets are purple, I'm right behind you, ke ke ke ah ah ah

[SpartanXLVIII]

Holden Caulfield?

[Jdog89981]

cops in a nut shell

[iflyhighalldaylong]

ppl still wright poems ?

[joscpe]

Richard reminds me a bit of myself.

[EveEvelinaEve]

AWESOME!

[therealcarrotninja]

Holden Caulfield?

[RandomProductionsCA]

WHAT POEMS?!?!?!



[BRIISlilPHEN]

LMAOO THUMBS UP IF YOU REACTION WAS CLASSIC!

[ilovevansshoes111]

Sometimes, just sometimes, when the moon is in the correct spot and every canadian is where there supposed to be, I curl up into a ball and rape my cat.

[nadergrinder]

this isn't a poem.