Added: 1 year ago
From: JaalKiriam
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  • Funny how in Greek mythology Hades is actually one of the more reasonable Olympians.

  • The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Suck.

    I'd play that game if the Riff Trax guys did all the voices and sound effects.

  • The eagles are leaving!!!!!

  • "Duely noted, Zang Geif"

  • six people wanted more lens flare.

  • my left ear really enjoyed this

  • Nice reference to the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes.

  • The only good thing about this movie is that Medusa, thought a CG gorgon, is incredibly hawt.

  • speaking of Kevin Costner when are they gonna do Waterworld? the movie sucks ass!!!

  • I FOUND THIS IN THE KITCHEN AT DOMINOS!!!

  • 1:07 - Agh! John Travolta. This is a HORROR MOVIE.

    2:04 - A reprise of the classic Loony Tunes automated factory musical hit "Powerhouse" by Raymond Scott. Which actually fits the Tasmanian Devil animation implosion cyclone quite well.

    3:38 - BUBO ! They had the adorable mechanical owl on set & they just skipped it?!? Sheesh, this director keeps proving himself more & more idiotic.

    6:13 - (Witches) "You will die SON OF ZEUS." What a ripoff for Perseus, Heracles at least got muscles & longevity.

  • they really hit the nail on the head when it comes to Greek Gods being dicks.

  • Zeus as a rapist. Glad someone finally noticed this blip about Greek gods.

  • I didn't really get the anti-God theme some gleaned from it. Maybe a "choose your gods well" theme. Zeus had a plan all along (and his son was that plan's linchpin) to defeat the psychopathic god driven by hate.

  • @Halo4Lyf Unlike mythology, or the original movie for that matter, there are NO good gods in this movie. The "noble" one is a raping, bull-headed, apathetic buffoon. The backstories, like Medusa's, have been retconned to make the gods the brutalizers and the mortals the victims, regardless of their original intent and in no more-cinematically-interesting ways.

    It's all about noble men rising to have NO gods at all, idiots though they are. It's basically the other side of Psalm 2.

  • @JaalKiriam How is that retconning? The gods in Greek mythology ARE assholes. The only thing that isn't accurate is Hades wanting to take over Olympus (which he always tries to do for some reason in movies about Greek mythology)...

  • @JaalKiriam I thought in Greek mythology the gods were always massive dicks. Nearly all of them got into raping and bestiality. Artemis once turned a man into a deer and had his own huntings dogs rip him to pieces for daring to watch her bathe. Zeus once raped a woman while disguised as a swan. THAT is the point of the gods. They weren't perfect or noble; they were supposed to reflect humanity. In fact, seeing as Hades only kidnapped one woman, he was probably the most noble out of all the gods.

  • @JaalKiriam You were expecting anything else from hollywood? you know they will push Athiest, leftwing, anti business propaganda whenever possible. bunch of miserable socialists who will never find happiness in life with their world view, that's why so many of them live in a drug induced haze.

  • I saw this with two of my friends at the theater, by the end of it we were all demanding those two hours of our lives back

  • @scirius14 I got to see it for free, in 3D no less, and still felt cheated!

  • I truly thought this was one of the most underrated films of recent time.

    I truly thought it was a great film. Sure there were some things they over did and they could have took better care of some supporting characters but overall it was an enjoyable film, and you can tell there was heart to this film.

  • A viewing of this film at any length presents a challenge to determine what's least inspired: vapid Sam Worthington, his worthless co-stars, the ugly production design or perfunctory CGI thereof.

    I've viewed Merchant Ivory features more exciting than this.

  • @rqbuchanan Don't forget the hamfisted, ironically preachy, anti-God storyline pulled out of the writers' rectums!

  • @JaalKiriam Thanks for that reminder. Who doesn't love the clumsy application of contemporary sensibilities to film adaptations of ancient myths?

  • Oh, one more thing, what did Kevin stop Mike (Or was it Bill) from doing at about 6:31?

  • to everyone complaining about how bad this movie is: Did you see the original? It sucked worse than this one. They didn't have much to go on. Seriously. The original was BAD. (this one is an improvement!)

  • @martycubfan

    Yes, I did see that film, but this film had terrible pacing. Everything was a brief establish shot of a green screen setting for special effects with a wooden Perseus borrowing Christian Bale's Batman-voice. There were no interesting characters or build-up to the monsters who got lost on their way to the set of del Toro's next film. The original had cheesy dialogue, but story was tighter, adventurous, and the effects weren't trying to be a distraction from the bland characters.

  • Good news!

    Professor Fonsworth? :D

  • "Wake up, sweetie, we're at grandma's."

    I remember Mike making a similar riff during MST3K the movie.

  • @jasonw131 Cal put your shoes on we're at grandma's :P

  • This movie pissed me off sooooooo much!! It got everything wrong, mythologically speaking!

  • It is the dark god,Taz!!

  • Great the horse just inhaled her and farted her out!

  • what's the song that the guys are parodying while the scorpions are walking in the desert?

  • "Should I release something, or...?"

  • ......idiot

  • those snakes, their waste must come out inside her head... right?

  • Personally, I don't mind CGI in principle, any more than I mind rubber puppets or matte effects or painted lunchmeat special effects. What I mind is a story that is mindless, hole-ridden crap, self-righteous, post-modern garbage that defecates all over the original source material to appease to shallow audiences (and there ARE plenty of potential viewers who want thoughtful stories) that depends o gimmicks and "awesomeness" (lamely done, too) to overcompensate for their shortcomings.

  • Alright, this is ridiculous. We just got past by a rock and some moss!

  • the only good actor in this movie was liam neeson. like if you agree.

  • @Xxstevo69xX

    -the only good actor in the movie was Bubo the mechanical owl because it was the ONLY thing in the movie that makes you think of Ray Harryhausen.

  • wow, i never actually noticed how much hades sounds like voldemort XD

  • @koolio411w00t That's because Hades is played by Ralph Fiennes... who plays Voldemort.

  • The Ocarina of Suck!

    Hey, don't diss Zelda!

  • "GOOD NEWS!"

    "Professor Farnsworth?"

    3:37 Oh man! Seriously, that's one quote my friend and I will throw around a lot "GOOD NEWS" All these times and I'm only just now catching that joke in here....I've said it a thousand times....on youtube alone, even lol, no matter how many times you watch, you always find something new and awesome each time! :)

  • tristar logo tryouts hahahaha

  • DON'T PAY THE FERRYMAN! XD I Spat juice out my nose cuz of that!

  • This is a perfect movie for MST3K riffing. Lots of fun and wisecracks to be had. Also, beer helps tremendously.

  • My main problem with this movie is that they had to make the movie so damn dark! In about 26 years, we go from honest, good hearted adventuring to just a dark, gloomy "edgy" film. That and the special effects aren't as impressive as the original. AND WHY CAN'T SAM WORTHINGTON ACT!!

  • @kyon813 -when I think of how much effort was put into every single frame of animation from the original-and then I look at this, and see how they just pushed the button that said "Kraken" on their big deal effects computer-it actually makes me want to murder every fourteen year old kid in America who will only watch movies that feature "CGI." - actually I know people over 30 who wont watch "old" " effects movies now. They've been ruined by all this soul-less crap and they don't even care.

  • 07:16: I turns out that guy was just only a Creeper who just wanted a hug.,

  • @heartlessmushroom That's a nice snake lady you have there. Be a SSSSSSSShamee if SSSSSSSSSSomething happened to it.

  • The original sucked. But it was The Dark Knight in comparison to this.

  • Tristar logo tryouts :):):)

  • Man the original was way better than this.

  • If it ain't Ray Harryhausen it ain't Clash of the Titans. Bottomline. I hope the Rifftrax guys get to tackle that one sometime soon.

  • @NateSean why it was good.

  • legend of zelda ocarina of suck

  • I totally don't get why they made Pegasus black in this version. It's a horse with WINGS. What could be more hardcore than that? But having it be white was just too wussy for you? Black is EXTREEEME YEEEA!

  • @JamesOhGoodie They were marketing to the lowest common denominator (12 year old boys who breathe through their mouth and have posters of beefy, sweaty wrestling heroes on their bedroom wall). James Cameron pulls it off with more subtlety and the rest try to follow his lead.

  • I love how this one parody writer wrote about "Clash of the Titans" and called the black Pegasus "Badass the Destroyer".

  • BRAAAAINNNSSSSS.....

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  • verily it is the weggie of the GODS!!!!

  • Re-lease the Crackin'!

    

  • @nofxmike06 Get busy dyin' or get cracken!

  • lmao len's flare

  • "little Kraken"....pfffff...lol

  • I love the Dark Knight Rifftrax refeance, "WHERE ARE THEY!"

  • @TheDoctorNumber13 They seem to want to sneak one of those into every Riff they've done since that one.

  • HAHA! LOTR reference! "The Eagles are leaving!"

  • "Well, humanity's champion is the E-trade baby..."

    So true...

  • BLOOD FOR THE FERRYMAN

  • ZANGIEF!

  • I actually paid to see this in theaters. God, it sucked.

  • @eastwing329 Also, about the scorpion battle, could anyone tell me what in the name of sanity was going on, because I could follow it. The editing was crap.

  • @eastwing329 I feel your pain. :(

  • @eastwing329 yeah, a real travesty

  • @eastwing329 I paid to see it in 3D! How do you think I feel?!

  • @40Pacino so did I. The 3d didn't even work.

  • @eastwing329 Hu hu.. Gods...

  • @eastwing329 i hated it within the first five seconds. they literally destroyed the entire mythology it was based on and showed no understanding of ancient greek culture....in those first five seconds.

  • @eastwing329 The thing I wanted to see the most was the kraken. And it was cool, but lasted TWO FUCKING MINUTES. -_-

  • @eastwing329 yeah can you believe they are making another one

  • @eastwing329

    The only half decent parts were Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. And thankfully, Sam Worthington has improved heavily, go watch The Debt, he actually was great at acting in it. This is honestly good, because he has HUGE potential to be one of the best of this generation, but only if he gets cast in good movies and pushes himself.

  • "Let us get into makeup and tape 'The View'".....my favorite line......

  • @edgolo LOL same!

  • Gosh, I love all the geek jokes in rifftrax lol.

  • I wonder how many people got the "Andromeda, you seemed strained" joke.

  • 6:30

    ♪ Whatever you do, don't pay the ferryman. ♪

    ♪ Don't even fix a price. ♪

  • Someone tried to get me to see this thing with them. Glad I didn't. Sucks.

  • BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINSSSS!­

  • "Legend of Zelda: the Ocarina of Suck."

  • Does anybody else notice how crappy casting is these days? First they cast the Prince of Persia with a really Western European looking Jake Gyllenhall, and now they cast a bunch of Greeks with everybody from Northern Europe. Zeus my ass, that's Odin. Plus, these tales took place in the Mediterranean. This movie has more cloudy skies than a folk black metal band's music video. wtf?

  • @puberis To be fair, the Prince in the Sands of Time video game was the whitest, american-est persian I'd ever seen.

  • @JohnMooreification what!? I thought he looked pretty eastern. But, you raise a point. The whitest prince was in Prince of Peria 1 for DOS. Remember that? Blond hair and everything, lol. But they fixed him in The Shadow and the Flame. Still doesn't make it right though. Shame on them all!

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  • I always remembered the original POP having red hair. Were there a lot of gingers in ancient Persia?

    

  • lol "no one should have to watch this movie sober!" i went to this in theaters on a bunch of sedatives lmao its true it made it worth wile somehow

  • "The horse inhaled her and farted her out again." LMAO!

  • "Something isn't right..."

    'Yeah, your family has three different accents!'

  • You gonna act in this scene at all, or shall I act twice as hard again to cover both of us? XD Priceless!

  • @PyrozPlayground And it describes the understated, underappreciated Pete Postlewaithe's career perfectly. RIP Pete......

  • @snipergirl21 This is a rather strange place to discover that Pete is gone. Always liked his character in Dragon Heart.

  • I'm just gonna say it: I like the 2010 "Clash" better than the '80's version. There.

  • 1 person doesn't like braaaaains

  • Zangief LOL

  • Still surfacing? Try to get out of the water before the birth of Christ, would you? LMFAO

  • Actually, the Greek gods really were pricks, so I don't blame them for the blasphemy. Oh yeah, and THIS MOVIE SUCKS!

  • Actually, the Greek gods really were pricks, so I don't blame them for blaspheming. Oh yeah, and THIS MOVIE SUCK!

  • A ha ha, this is one of their best riffs, had me laughing every 2 seconds. XD

  • It's like hearing Dumbledore talk to the Dark Knight.

  • Man this one is so not like the old one from the 60's [or something like that] that I grew up with.

    And why must he have a black horse, it was white.

    Sheesh, gotta pimp him out with a black horse for 2010 or something, lame!

  • @harmonyXsuzukaze 80's actually

  • @harmonyXsuzukaze Ray Harryhausen's got no room to talk; Perseus didn't even ride a winged horse in the original story. Hell, there wasn't even a Kraken.

  • @PaperbackWizard Then what did they release?

  • @kkordis It was a sea monster, but they called it a Cetus. The word eventually came to mean "whale". But "Release the Whale" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

  • "Andromeda?"

    "You seem strained. DOH!"

  • "Put it back in the Mystical Trunk of Pandering."

    "It's like listening to Dumbledore talk to the Dark Knight."

  • Holy crap the lens flare! Why is there so much lens flare?

  • doorbuster sale! they've released the kraken, now we're releasing the savings!

  • Sam, are you gonna act in this scene or am I gonna have to act twice as hard to cover both of us!

  • Why do the main characters sound like they have strep throat?

  • "Don't set like that. everyone can see your little crackin."

    oh my god that killed me.

  • new voldemort now with 100% more nose lol epic

  • :34 is Pete Posthlethwaite's career summed up in one sentence.

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  • lol im so glad i saved my money and didn't waste it on this piece of crap movie.

  • "uv brought us this far, lets go the rest of the way"

    ???

    "u comin on ta me man?"

  • New Voldemort! Now with 100% more nose.

  • Put it back in the mystical trunk of pandering. lol!

  • Ralph Fiennes' new thing: act every role like he's been punched in the throat... "Harry... I need to take your throat now." "What? Then I won't be able to speak in the movie." (Audience: "Do it! Do it now!")

  • "Are you comin' on to me?" had me rolling on the floor. God, this movie had such amazing art direction and a ridiculously awesome cast which were both entirely wasted.

  • mike makes a disturbingly good female zombie

  • Don't try to leave town or anything, cause that would be cheating.

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  • new voldemort, now with 100% more nose!

  • I love how Liam and Ralph decided to BS this whole movie, and they still did a better job than everybody who was trying their best.

  • "This is what drinking gin does to your face."

    "It's worth it."

  • "And his best friend: Dog!" I really liked this movie. But the drama and heavy effects make it good for riffing.

  • The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Suck

  • 3:33 Is that the owl from the original movie? I can't believe they included that!

  • @buffypython I was reading in Entertainment Weekly where Sam Worthington actually threw a tantrum over that. He didn't want the tribute to Bubo the Owl in "his" remake of Clash of the Titans, so he complained to producers about it. They didn't listen, it stayed in, and that was that. Earlier versions of the script included Bubo reprising his role from the first film in a much larger capacity, but it didn't make the final cut.

  • @Jadicegirl Not too many decades ago, conniptions were only condoned by evidence of exceptional talent. Apparently, Worthington learned a lot from a famous prior co-star.

  • @buffypython yup that is the owl from the original!

  • Prof. Farnsworth!!

  • BRAAAAAAINS!!!

  • "Are you comin on to me?" Interesting thought. how fun would it have been to throw a Sam Worthington/Madds Mikelsen love scene in the middle of this very generic action movie for no apparent reason?

  • So flippin sloooow

  • How was this movie a happy ending? Zeus didn't bring back his family or anyone else who died, the only one he brought back was the one who wanted to die. What a prick.

  • @TheRhinehart86 And he raped his mother, don't forget. Zeus has no one's best interest at heart.

  • "We can fight anywhere"

    Great! I'm going to need you in the underworld.

    "But not in the underworld."

    OH SON OF A-

  • oh my god i about died at that last part XD

    "braaaains"

    "Oh we have fun together! ...oh my god my skull you're eating it!"

    lololololol

  • Oh please don't soil yourself in 3D

  • Legend of Zelda, the Ocarina of SUCK!

  • Zeus couldn't have resurrected his family? His little sister who never got a chance at a long happy life? No, thats fine, I'm sure he will be very happy with the chick he's known for all of 3 days to keep him company for the rest of his life ....

  • What annoyed me about this movie is that io is actually persiuses sister in some mythologies so incest and there are two characters refered to as persian but persia was discovered by persius mean it doesnt exist during this time that and about billion inaccuracies

  • @ahdeath2007 Don't forget the fact that Andromeda is supposed to be an Ethiopian princess in the original mythology. Last I checked, Ethiopia is supposed to be filled with black people, and every incarnation I've seen of Andromeda and her people casts them all in shades of lily-white.

  • There isn't any god in Argos thats not true theres the god of home shopping wooo

  • When me and my sister watched this in the cinema we were less than impressed. Before the chick was dying/turning to pollen she said to the guy that he was "the best of both worlds". Upon hearing this I immediately started singing the HM song "Best of Both Worlds" despite not really knowing the lyrics. My sister was laughing so hard she was nearly crying and joined in. We were getting really dirty looks off the other two members of the audience. :D

  • "...So pollen is the afterlife. We become pollen. Terrific!... And great, the horse just inhaled her... and farted her out" lol

  • I forgot how much this movie sucked.

  • The zombie bit at the end was aligned perfectly with what was going on X)

  • By the gods of Greek mythos, this movie sucked. Everything was made to look more 'badass'

    Black Pegasus, Greek Lightsaber, and deep-throat grunting for speech.

    Say what you will about the original Clash of the Titans, but that one was better written, the special effects had more heart, and despite the cheese in the script/acting it wasn't trying to make everything hardcore.

  • "Please, the phrase is WHERE ARE THEY!"

  • "Good News"

    "Professor Farnsworth?"

  • HA! futurama reference, so few people would get it, yet they use it

  • "everyone can see your little Kraken" LMAO!

  • New Voldemort! Now with 100% more nose! :D