"Defending American Interests," by TAYLOR MALI

[ghjohns]

I hope little Suzy hit you up for this one 8)

[8Splendiferous8]

did anyone else almost clap by accident?

[newabortion515]

@8Splendiferous8 I clapped, but it was no accident. :D

[LadyeXo]

@taylormali I'm curious if all of your fantasies include being held at gunpoint. Suddenly, I don't feel so lonely!

[wijayapala]

In my fantasies, the girl is genuinely into me and doesn't have to be forced at gunpoint! lol

[smelybelygurl]

@HOaliyartMO

Your a coward, the internet allows you to say hateful things like this, that you wouldn't have the guts to say to someone you didn't know, just to make yourself feel better, or good.

[TheLastPalme]

I was literally just thinking about that today in Global.

[dementis93]

LOL FANTASY ENFORCEMENT MAN.

[HOaliyartMO]

TYPO IN THE TITLE. Don't like using caps but the title should read "Being A Miserable Faggot" By Taylor I'mafaggotpieceofshit Mali, featuring exerts from "I Fuck Dogs", "I Tried To Blow My Granddad Posthumously Last Night", and all of Taylor Mali's best work.

[smelybelygurl]

@HOaliyartMO

wtf is wrong with you?

[MrDanAustin]

The best part of the video is right after the 4:47 mark.

[MrDanAustin]

What a perv.

[CavalierPosts]

Eli Whitney and ABSOLUTELY. 

[Ppedoroblwcitp75]

does anyone know the song he quotes in the begining lines?

[RockLife75]

@Ppedoroblwcitp75

Wonderful World (Don't Know Much) by Sam Cooke

[LighterB]

thank you Mr. Mali

[kschnorr1]

the cotton gin was invented in 1792 which wouldnt have been covered during that particular survey class...lol

[FoulShot]

@kschnorr1

Pretty sure it was used during that period.

[abacacus]

I've been listening to a lot of these, very creative and funny :)

[02nothing]

He kinda reminds me of Eddie Vedder, particularly when he smiles. The way they both are before and after performing (songs or poems, respectively) seems familiar.

[JoshSkwash]

Its the hair, before the hair like when he was on Def Jam Poetry he didn't have that look about him, but I have to agree.

[CaptainSteelRain]

I'm a high school junior, so I'm currently in US History. Bear in mind, I've been a follower of Mr. Mali for quite some time.

Today my teacher happened to ask us, "Does anyone know who Eli Whitney was?" I half-shouted that he invented the cotton gin before I ended up doubled over in laughter for the rest of the class.

So thank you, Taylor Mali, for making that moment possible. <3

[sunkisseddreads]

where was he and why did that lady bring her kid?! But the poem was still great. Even censored.

[02nothing]

@sunkisseddreads My mother used to bring me to all sorts of cultural experiences that shouldn't conventionally be experienced by a child. My mother, the born and raised Catholic who to this day denies the idea that she ever might've once smoked weed, took my to plays and readings blue as all hell. But it's made me who I am today. It gets old, people making every little thing dirty, and I really think it's great that people are disposing of these taboos that cause more trouble then they prevent.

[Icannottolerateit]

@02nothing Show me a culture without taboo and I will show you a culture without humor.

[HipsterFriend]

@Icannottolerateit Same guy, new account. Anyway, I understand that, I'm not saying to do away with taboo. I'm just saying that maybe some taboos are harmful. Western culture's widespread taboo on some natural things, such as sex or the drive for inebriation, can and will really mess up people's psychology. Still, I understand what you mean and you are right, but our taboos maybe aren't in the right places all of the time.

[sepiaworld]

@sunkisseddreads

umm read the info posted.

[philipkoo2]

I remember watching this a while back, still awesome to this day.

Speaking of which, I also remember my observation that almost every guy at my school has done this sometime. With the same result.

[turquoiseskull]

um, he's really awesome and everything, but I don't know how he became the great and might Taylor Mali. And that's not supposed to be a stab by any means, slam is just odd.

[nincompoople]

love

it

lol

[mathgeek37]

Good stuff.

[cadetstarnoodle]

Dude. WAY out of line. You might consider deleting your "comment."

[danieldjr412]

It's funny because he had to tone it down for the kid and his mom XD!

[deadonred]

Do you know where to see the more raw version?

[Archaebob]

this is SO good and SO true

[Whozanerd]

Fantasy Enforcement Man! Who doesn't know him? I sure as hell do...lol. Gotta Love Taylor Mali...

[gtoy22]

im naked ;D S

[HempForPresident]

You're awesome. I don't mean that colloquially.

[Kool212]

Teenage hormones used as vehicle for a love poem? Wow.

[nevinackered]

Aw, how...romantic?

[Kzzori]

@nevinackered ...maybe lustful is the word you're looking for...

[azn4989]

hahah fantasy enforcement man thats good

this guy is great i was assigned to listen to impotence of proofreading and now im goin thru as many of his performances as i can

[sophiehottie]

shit son that was good

[pmcrimson]

*smiles*

That poem merits a new word: intensensual? intelectible? fantasty? Dammit, what vulgar verbal vagaries! Why won't my brain mash words properly and on demand?!

Still, because awe compels me to comment, I'll leave as your praise "perfection." Thank you for posting this.

[jesuslizardchrist]

Articulate much? Please stop talking like that.

[pmcrimson]

*shrugs* I like how I write. If you don't, fine. Nobody's forcing you to read my comments.

[teatrobella]

you are fantastic and inspiring

[ibelieveinyouandm]

Love your work Taylor.

[denny0851]

how funny. even on stage, the teacher part of him is there. you could see him censoring himself because of the child in the audience.

[RedArmyInfantry]

I don't think he is censoring himself. He mouthes words in other poems as well. In fact in this poem he says "Motherfucker". So, likely he just did it for affect.

[recheli]

Fantasy enforcement man!!! lol...

I'm sorry, but everyone has done this!

[kennedbj]

I am an aspiring young teacher, and I would love to meet Taylor- can anyone private message me and let me know if he has his own site or tour dates?

[brianmpei]

Really brilliant on so many levels. My favourite part is the interruption of the dream. That really took me back to my own school days. You have fun with language at the same time you show it a lot of respect. Thanks for posting these for those of us on the fringes of the world who can't see you perform live.

[RedArmyInfantry]

Great poem. I think most of us have done this before. :P