MST3K - 521 - Santa Claus (7/10)

[ChaoticYak]

Well, he's not playing the piano; so he's not bored.

[ChaoticYak]

It's like Dom de Luise sneaking up on you.

[NorwichTeenwolf]

"Can I use the can before I go?"

[Adamguy2003]

"I enjoy inflicting pain!"

Was Santa really goign to give a toy as dangerous as that cannon to a little kid?

"Booze helps parents care for their children!"

btw, did ANY of the kids think to leave milk and cookies for Santa? Ungrateful little brats.

[KyleElykIsMe]

I can never stop laughing at 4:27 XD

[rad3xl]

WHY DONT YOU BRING US THE NACHOS MAGNIFICOS?

[Tareltonlives]

Whenever Pitch does his dance, baby Craig cries.

[Teenlego]

"HA He ho uh"

[houseofmisfittoys]

"Santa's a lifetime member of the NRA." bahahahahahhahahah!!!!!

[tokyopanda13]

"Of course I love you, sonny, just as much as your parents. Because no one loves a child as much as his parents." Wait, what? O.o

[tokyopanda13]

@knightmonx2 Well, the movie is slightly edited for the MST3K-ing, so they may have cut that part out.

[PirateOfTheInternet]

Man, the framing and camera angles in this movie are awful! Among other things, of course.

[Flipgrate]

creepy santa stare at 8:47

[PHANTOMZ0NE]

The devil's blowing a knob.

[KokopelliMU]

" Out vile jelly" never thought there was a King Lear reference in this episode.

[GoblinXXX]

@KokopelliMU Why WOULDN'T you have a Lear reference in a Mexican Santa movie? C'mon!

[sayalovesdiva]

Santa's a creepy pedo! 0_0

[eastwing329]

3:37 STEP AWAY FROMT THE LITTLE BOY! STEP AWAY FROM THE LITTLE BOY!

[MrDuncanBelfast]

Wah Wahwahwah waaah waah waah waah.

Like what you see, kid?

[PCGamer77]

4:49 Wait...Santa says he loves the kid as much as his parents, then says that nobody loves a child as much as his parents? Huh?

[AndarilhoMarco]

Santa could use that boy's machinegun... lol

[SpotxSpot]

The hell, at 6:20 are they in a Sanborns?

[KingOfUm]

That Santa powder is actually his own skin flakes.

[nagaking07]

So let me analyze Santa in this movie.

1. He uses small children to work in his factory.

2. He knows what every child in the world is doing at every given time.

3. He uses creepy looking instruments to spy on people.

4. He carries around a kind of dust that makes people fall asleep

5. He carries a cannon that can fire with such strength it can pierce the skin of an immortal demon.

Do I need to say anything else?

[ChaoticYak]

@nagaking07 Only one thing: "Santa Claus is watching you. He's everywhere! He's everywhere!" :D

[GoblinXXX]

@ChaoticYak There is no escaping the KLAUS corporation!

[DMCdawg]

What do ya think of that?... Not much!

[originaldudeman1183]

I wonder if somebodies ever watched this while shroomin. That would be a bad trip. and those kids were sididng with the devil. Theyre gonna go to hell.Theyre basically rejecting christ. Thats worse than getting no presents I would think.

[neosoc]

Home Alone 3: The Quickening

HO HO HO! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE, KIDS!

[LadyCrazyMonkeyPants]

Is anyone else creeped out that santa just came through a window like a thief.

[Rubberman202]

Every time I hear Santa's evil laugh, I burst out laughing myself! Seriously, it's just so diabolical!

[NYG4LIFE123]

Booze helps parents care for their children!

[Theburn77]

I'll sing Proud Mary

[Thanos6]

@knightmonx2 You never actually see it.

[antgav79]

Spark plug gapper. man thats worse than socks

[No1chestnut]

4:48 why is santa holding that child like a rifle?!

[ctdsnark]

{9:11}The young Aleister Crowley.

[changyimei]

And now...a word from our sponsors...twice :D

[kcrozby2]

"i suddenly have an urge to see our little boy."

"Little boy?...Oh!"

[dolzakhyron]

because it will burn their throats?

why is santa claus SO EVIL? lol

[WoundedWolfgirl]

"It's like having Dom DeLuise sneaking up on you."

[TitusYorick]

This is kind of like watching the Wacky Queen Victoria sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus . . . only it makes me want to kill myself.

[AnnoyingSquib]

4:13

I can't help but think "Mr. Claus. Are you trying to seduce me?"

[GBart]

Anyone else notice the Apocalypse Now reference right at the end?

[JPAUL7890]

@GBart think you meant Platoon

[GBart]

@JPAUL7890 no, definitely Apocalypse Now. Martin Sheen, not Charlie.

[JPAUL7890]

@GBart what line were you referring to???

[GBart]

@JPAUL7890 if I remember right, Martin Sheen's character says it when they get deep into the jungle near where Brando's character went AWOL and started his crazy cult thing. It's been months since I saw it lol

[JPAUL7890]

@GBart oh i was talking about the "Bob I got a bad feeling about this one." cuz that's from Platoon lol

[Junsumoto]

Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa! Like what you're seeing kid?

[raineandrews]

"Hoho..I enjoy inflicting pain! I should call the elves, they'll love this..."

"And now..........a word from our sponsor."

"Alright, hold it, Kringle!! We got the place surrounded! Come out with your bag up! Your reindeer have turned themselves in!"

[LSUTigers712]

3 houses down, 65 billion to go!!

[LSUTigers712]

Man Santa is so slow!! He's got the rest of the world and he's only on house three!

[00madbox00]

when i was his age i was worried santa would steal my pets D: im serious.

[kftc88]

Yeah, take flaming cocktails from some babbling stranger who says it can burn your throat and disappears as soon as you take the drink. That's the smart decision.

[634devil]

"Whew, I think he bought it!"

[MINSANEvideos]

Rich Kid - "Say you love me Santa"

WTF?

[jec444]

If you knew him as a child he would be dead and buried by now..."oh you always know the right things to say"...

[ChaoticYak]

Uh, why is our waiter stripping honey?

[MattChrisF]

"Ho ho ho, I enjoy inflicting pain!"

[RavnDream]

"Santa is a lifetime member of the NRA!"

[samuraikarasu]

Haha there were like three Simpsons references in a row. I cracked up when I heard "FLAMING MOES!"

[thefaboloussob]

@samuraikarasu It's Flaming Homers, Servo!

[jec444]

4:26 My 1st grader loves this scene, the stripper music playing as the kid looks at Santa from boot to beard. Hilarious, Santa burlesque that appeals to 1st graders??

[snikt2k10]

Waitaminute... We're suppose to believe that Christians have been freaked out for 2000 years by this pointy-eared nerdy little fruit in red tights? Wow, jesus must be a real pussy to feel threatened by THIS guy.

[TPrower]

Pitch: *laughs hysterically, then pauses*

Crow: "Am I alone in here? Hello?"

XD

[TPrower]

@TPrower Sorry, I meant Mike. ^^;

[maximumkarlnage]

I love how the guy thinks its strange that suddenly he wants to see his child...way to go dad of the year

[antgav79]

@maximumkarlnage parents of the year i guess

[maximumkarlnage]

santa picks that kid up like a rag doll

[ElveeKaye]

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE STUPID CHRISTMAS MUSIC!! This movie is going out of its way to make me hate Santa. >:o(

[pockypurse]

"Like what you see, kid?"

XD I cracked up so hard at that whole bit, I think I broke a rib!

[ChaoticYak]

That kid is stiff as a board...and he was two seconds away from kissing Santa's boots. What a weird movie.

[allwayzsmylin3]

"That's strange."

Crow: "My pants tickle."

Amazing. <3

[themightycelestial]

"Why don't you bring us the Nachos Magnificos?"

[rushnerd]

"Stock options from The Sharper Image"

Ouch.

[LightDeoxys]

Santa: Now...

Mike: ...a word from our sponsor.

[butheadVSbevus]

Oh Yes when you awaken" you will be Rick Wakeman"

[evilmidget]

4:27  i just about pissed myself. that has got to be one of the funniest things ever done by mst3k

[EternalGuardian07]

Willy! Cover me!

*gun fire*

[Adamguy2003]

I love when Servo does that goofy voice like @ 0:09- 0:12.

All the comments when Santa shoots Pitch in the butt are great.

"Ho ho, I enjoy inflicting pain!"

But seriously, was Santa really going to give a toy as dangerous as that cannon to a little kid? That could take a kid's eye out easily!

[KaterzTheMSTie]

Pitch isn't going to be able to sit down for weeks.

[sleepyhollow783]

Can't wait for the day the devil REALLY gets it in the ass!

[hollyhuffstutler]

"That's strange, I suddenly have the urge to see our little boy" Huh, my fatherhood kicked in, weird

[hollyhuffstutler]

"Metal conducts heat very well and Satan knows that"

[guilmon182]

"MERRY CHRI-oh..."

[badluckshadow13]

If Satan can make things hot enough to set fire to a piece of paper, why the hell doesn't he just set burn the house down, that would ruin Christmas...

[Falcovsleon21]

Because it's supposed to be a children's movie.

[badluckshadow13]

@Falcovsleon21 you can't pull the "well of course Satan wont do that, it's a kids movie!" card, remember the "it's a viscous burglar, he'll kill you and your family!" line?

[TimelordR]

@Falcovsleon21 More like a form of psychological torture for ill-behaved children...

[jettvixen]

"What do you think of that?"

Not much.

[electrogeek77]

"Pitch"? More like "Bitch", as in "Satan's Bitch Boy".

[sillygrl23]

@electrogeek77 LOL! Yeah I know what you mean! In one scene I could have sworn that the narrator said "bitch" at some point.

[Trinnztubefun]

lol 4:24 "Out vile jelly!" King Lear ftw!

[Cootiio]

4:46  hands to yourself nick

[Applemask]

"Since we are very much in love, why don't you bring us some nachos magnificos?"

[drewcifer721]

"Why is our waiter stripping, honey?"

[rjccollett]

this stuff is great cant get enough

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Santa's a life member of the NRA.

Ho ho! I enjoy inflicting pain!

[ManaAdvent]

"1st he'll see if it's hot enough."

"Then he'll add the clam sauce."

"Let's see....a little more Tide and the Napalms ready!"

"Ho ho ho, I enjoy inflicting pain! I should call the elves, they'll love this!"

"Uh, why's our waiter stripping, honey?"

"Booze help parents care for their children!"

"Well, that's strange."

"My pants tickle!"

[uruseiranma]

It could just be me, but MST3K movies where they riff on badly-dubbed foreign films are the funniest to me. (including films like 'Prince of Space,' 'The Magical Voyage of Sinbad,' and 'Jack Frost')

Though when they're foreign films that mix all sorts of things together, then it really gets funny.

Like Cinematic Titanic's 'Blood of the Vampires,' which is a dubbed film about Filipinos portraying Mexicans with vampires mixed in there.

[ShinyRayquaza2]

Narrator: But Santa sees what Pitch is up to, and he isn't afraid!

Servo: (as Santa) I'm afraid!

[Gunganbuster]

Anyone else worried that the toy cannon hat Santa was supposedly giving to a child was strong enough to pierece the skin of Satan himself? Just as well he ued it on an imortal demon because impalements have tendeny to ruin Christmas dinners.

[reiterated]

You have no idea how many Christmas dinners in my family have been ruined by impalements.

[Oppledeldoc]

@Gunganbuster I remember that scene with the dart from the very first time I saw this movie, long before MST. Once you've seen that, it really stays with you.

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Hey kid, where's the pantry?

[Stazmo2]

"I got a bad feelin' on this one Bob, i don't think i'm gonna make it out." Platoon reference.

[buffypython]

"What is this 'Home Alone: The Quickening'?"

Revenge: the best way to bring joy to the world!

That was some great harmony from the guys!

If a waiter came up to me and offered me that with the explanation, I wouldn't order anything else from that restaurant.

"I got a dine and dash on table 7!"

[86thPatriot]

"Santa's a lifetime member of the NRA."

[0okamino]

"CableACE Award, hmm, that's no good."

[TomMSTie]

Sorry Mr. Narrator, but when the movie SHOWS us what happening, you don't need to TELL us what's happening.

[uruseiranma]

Just remember-this is a kids film. Most kids films have the omnipotent narrator to explain things, such as plot points or how to feel.

[TomMSTie]

"You must feel sad now, kids." :(

[Dankore]

Flaming Moes!

[suprbeau]

Best Simpsons episode EVER

[sillygrl23]

@suprbeau

 "Flaming Moe's!"

[TomMSTie]

Here's a puzzler for you...whose more annoying: Pitch or Dropo?

[wilmabignose]

I'd say Dropo, though the narrator makes Pitch pretty annoying as well.

[Kinsume89]

Hmm... Well Pitch has the annoyance of trying do a horrible horrible dance as he does everything... EVERYTHING... and also that scene where he pushed the chimney out of the way was just... no

[TomMSTie]

True, but he plays a semi-important role in the movie as the primary antagonist. Dropo is pure dead weight.

[Applemask]

Not entirely, his antics are needed to establsh himself as a candidate for Martian Santa.

[TomMSTie]

Hmm. He's got something there. Food for thought.

[wilmabignose]

Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, I enjoy inflicting pain! Huh, huh!

[jeannec1]

If you play all the segments of Santa Claus together in different tabs you can hear jolly laughing, creepy laughing, jolly music, goofy music, and everything else all at the same time, pretty much sums up my feelings about this movie.

[happypranksgiving]

Aren't there supposed to be martians in this movie? Or is this a different one?

[TheMentalcase]

That one would be 321 Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. You can get the DVD with that and Manos: The Hands of Fate fairly cheap. =o

[happypranksgiving]

I used to have Manos. Thanks for the response!

[SabraMagdalena]

I love the homage to Apocalypse Now at the very end...

[sn0d]

Santa's a lifetime member of the NRA

[FerraTiKarynaNeil]

Santa: "I know all those toys don't make you happy."

Crow: "So, I'm taking them back."

Santa: "So, I'll do something for you that I only do for children who are very good."

Servo: "I'll sing Proud Mary."

Santa: "And now..."

Servo: "A word from our sponsor."

[livinintwilightzone]

3 houses down, 65 billion more to go!

[QuincyQuincy12345678]

BAH WOW WOW WAH WOW WAAOOOH Like what yah see kid?

I wanna be a dentist!!!!

(Reference to Hermie from Rudolph! XD)

[jekblom123]

"And now... a word from our sponsors."

"Flaming Moes!!"

"Honey do you smell gas?!"

[ShinyRayquaza2]

MERRY CHRI- oh, shh!

[tajavi]

I love the ongoing coughing jokes...

[comforteagle65]

Home alone 3: the Quickening haha