Half Life Snacks

[george77772moons]

And to think I got here from a Nerf Now comic.

[elemshadow]

I wanna work at Valve now.

[prunejuiceguy]

Funny. Gabe and I are having dinner! He ordered two life-fulfilling packs of burgers. Here comes my niec-- wait, no. Gabe just ate her legs. -.-

[Estragogon]

Snack lady is obviously falling for him

[AyushJuneja]

BEST GAMING COMPANY EVER

[LynxenX]

Gabe can eat 4 big pink cookies in one sitting and not gain an ounce because he is a 5th dimensional super-being that uses energy as fast as it comes.

[growlgrowlpigsqueal]

I don't like the big pink cookie guy.....

[xtelmosx]

We require 200 thousand Chefs to qench gabes appatite.

[xtelmosx]

We have been working on our snack bar for 20 years now.

We have decided to cancel half-life and replace it with our new game.

Snack-Life.

[MultiMaxyboy123]

Every time someone steals Gaben's lunch, Episode 3 is delayed a thousand years.

[10lettername]

@MultiMaxyboy123

iimplying gabe doesnt steal everyone elses lunch

[Dummy257]

7,000 CALORIES

[pixelbob]

I wanna work at valve...

also Mokou rubbin' tags, i dont even

[thomo1888]

This snackbar is in fact guaranteed to half your life expectancy

[Leonus123]

Im hungry...

[rimwydas44]

Gabe want's alot of fat man in his office

[Mathinza]

I like how the only times Gabe actually had an emotion on his face was when food was the topic.

[Djinnfest]

There would probably be a second fridge full of sandwiches and energy drinks if I worked there.

[jonathanmadison12]

They have a snack bar too!? I know where I wanna work now..

[AmbidextrousGamer]

Now I'm going to work for valve and fuck with that guys butter. >:D

[washiwashiable]

they would be more productive if they just took a 40 minute break to eat, Just sayin. PS. Thanks for making great games valve :)

[GamerJelly]

SEVEN. THOUSAND. MOTHER. FUCKING. CALORIES.

HOW?

[ccrackodile]

@GamerJelly WELCOME TO AMERICA

[camronfritz]

Lol, i am so going to work at Valve <3

[InuyashaGirl7291]

TWINKIES AND HOHOS

[irishtrash15]

For game creators, working at Valve must be the equivalent of a scientist winning a Nobel Prize.

[agoosha]

Wow, just wow. That's all I can say... Wow.

[darnoc001]

Why did I just watch Gabe Newell eatting Snakes?.. And WHERE THE HELL IS EPISODE 3!!!!

[darnoc001]

@darnoc001 *Snacks*

[StormKidification]

@darnoc001 Holy shit , a snake? Where?

[darnoc001]

@StormKidification Whoops XD LOL I mean Snacks. But seriously, where is our Episode 3 guys, like What the freak? You Know :P?

[HazyShadows]

I can totally see Eric being "that guy" at the party wearing a tin-foil hat talking about Y2K conspiracies and how we're all being watched by aliens.

[MrTaco6]

I'm totes jelly.

[DragosLt]

This is so ludicrously ridiculous. Mr. Carmack would never allow such a shit in his company.

[GeminiBreaker]

These are the people who create these fantastic, mature, award winning masterpieces?.....*shakes head*

[Asholibus]

Are your cakes a lie?

[MyselfDieElenden]

0:44

"I've seen a lot of video game companies snack rooms, but Valve by far haves the best one"

We all wonder why /ironygabenjoke

[Warped55]

2:08 is Gaben's personal fridge

[poopbuttmcgee]

Things I learned from this video

Marc Laidlaw likes himself some kawaii uguu~ shit

AND

Eric Wolpaw is just fucking bat shit crazy.

[tezpokemonmaster]

@poopbuttmcgee his daughter most likely drew that, art looks too bad to be from an actual anime

[poopbuttmcgee]

@tezpokemonmaster >Not putting your daughters drawings on the fridge

[SteamMonkey115]

This is where 90% of Valve's profits go to. . .

[Arrwzyfrrzynhezzi]

I'm unattractive. Can I get a job there?

[MicahSmart]

Hopefully, they have some cake that actually isn't a lie.

[xXmilkywayXx]

I want some GFH!!!! ( Gabe´s fried headcrabs) :)

[matezguy]

i think this was gabes idea

[askforbattletoads]

lol fuckin Wolpaw and his bagged lunches

[Fopenplop]

With this diet, it's a wonder game developers haven't been wiped out by evolution...

[olly123451]

Nobody knows what the spinning valve does, they just accept that it does spin, and spins forever.

Never stopping.

Never resting.

Always Spinning.

[Thegreatwario383]

I NEED TO GET A JOB AT VALVE

[Spart0xX]

@Thegreatwario383 Me 2. Lets go together

[ultimatemtb]

Love dat Gaben c:

[benracerfromRoblox]

SNNNAAAAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKK BBBBBBAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!­!!!

[LoneSilverwind]

See that snack bar TF2 players? That's all your hat money, being eaten away.

[desmondli007]

@LoneSilverwind I don''t care hats, just play the game, I will be happy. Without wearing any new hats, I feel more original to the TF2 characters.

[MrZissors]

The guy with the ping cookie is the king of autism

[fistingnuns69er]

And that's why Gabe is a fat ass.

[mysticblade35]

@fistingnuns69er You, sir, have just delayed Episode 3 by another 4 months.

[fistingnuns69er]

@mysticblade35 Good. Fuck Episode 3. Fuck Valve. Fuck everything!

[mysticblade35]

@fistingnuns69er ;__;

[AstonishingAce]

I can't believe how deep Gabe's voice is.

[fmjr10]

Funny how valve hq is right next to a restaurant.

[nikopoulet]

you've got the most high-quality game industrie EVER in front of you and YOU ASK THEM ABOUT THERE SNACK???? what's wrong with you

[Godfather91290]

No one here is gonna take and eat a whole stick of butter, well except maybe Gaben, but anyway about the snacks...

[SalviaAbuser]

dude in the green shirt is a real life sheldon cooper

[alquileryventas]

Seriously gabe are you really working the episode 3

[iridescentgreen]

Admit it, Gabe, I think you indulge in some Twinkies and Hohos yourself every now and then.

[Fiefypants]

Caffeine free diet coke??? nice try Gabe

[DragosLt]

2:12 is it a pig's head in the fridge? :D

[GeminiBreaker]

@DragosLt I'm disturbed that I wouldn't be surprised.

[rolofry]

the dude with the green shirt and glasses is a real downer

[HeticScorpion]

Well I guess they gotta keep gaben's kilojoule rating at 40000 kilojoule an hour. Otherwise EP3 will be delayed by another 2 years.

[toSTONEiGO]

i wanna work at valve :(

[Oskargosbol]

@badcredit64 7000

[badcredit64]

700 calorie cookie? Better be fucking delicious

[Carybm]

...and my favorite class is the big pink cookie. 

[Dar3dmag3]

Hi, I'm Gabe Newell, and this is my snack bar. After 9 years in development, hopefully it would have been worth the weight.

My favorite snack is the Pie.

[95MegaByte1]

@Dar3dmag3 Thanks, and have fun.

[Rachman1337]

@Dar3dmag3

Thanks, and have bun.

[EWLTM]

poor Eric :(

[Magedeth89]

That goddamn autist going on about butter...

[marcusisntfunny]

@Magedeth89 Dude goes on for fucking DAYS about his camoflauged butter, I laughed so hard.

[Shawaeon]

Wolpaw is awesome.

[Fredo5227]

I wanna work at Valve so bad.

[999KingPin999]

lets go get that guys butter!

[ldoug9]

hopefully it will have been worth the weight

[coresnake0]

@ldoug9 ENOUGH OF THE GABE JOKES LOL

[HydroBlast56]

7,000 calories... in one cookie? How is that even possible?

[SonnoMaku]

There is no I want because I will work at Valve. >:)

[soMLGprobro]

When I grow up I want to work there

[coresnake0]

@soMLGprobro When I grow up I want diabetes!!

[userofdoom]

3:50 Motherfucking Gamecube right there next to the Xbox. Valve knows how to roll.

[Stuffinathor]

now I'm hungry

[capi7al]

this is better then half liife

[Shradow115]

That cookie should be a new secondary for the Heavy.

[JakeLunn]

Why does this video exist?

[DarkEmergence]

@JakeLunn because it must.

[oraoraora4649]

Adam's peanut butter. fuark yeah

[pr0kris]

7000 calories is absolutely crazy. Even if you eat it throughout a whole week, you'll still have a huge calorie surplus.

[dude53133]

lol a ding-dong!!!!???

[theRnMb00sh]

7000 wtf

[AstropilotStudios]

At least they have SOME fruit.

[9821nick]

only the finest fat snacks in the world for Gabe like a low calorie 7000 calorie pink cookie that he eats and gets another one in 5 min. Gabe's total calorie intake per day 400 thousand calories. That's where heavy got his line from.

[MiikkaKipper]

IM SORRY WHAT?! YOU CAN MINI-EMT WITH THAT PINK COOKIE?! WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF­FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF­FFFFFFFFF

[THEJkOverlord]

Eric is fucking weird...

[Kirinet]

What a horribly unhealthy work environment. No wonder episode 3 is taking so long, they're just dicking about with the snacks all day.

[bleachzeldakid]

Valve is an amazing example of intrinsic motivation, where everyone gets their shit done, because they want to.

[DrewcifurDawg]

I like the part when that guy is really awkward.

[nochillarickroller]

And they say Gabe is obsessed with food, when it's really Valve employees!

[123Cheezus]

Gaben is our master

[Spaceypoo]

No wonder they haven't made Half Life Ep. 3 yet.. Everyone is more concerned with having snacks >_>

[XPrime1000]

WAIT WHAT?!!? 7000 FUCKING CALORIES!?!??!

[dgunner39]

Vegeta was does the scouter say about the cookie's power level?

It's over 7000!!

Over 7000!? That's impossible. 

[MissGirlFactor]

I want that goddamn Big. Pink. COOKIE.

[knthomsen]

how do i apply to this snack bar....i mean job

[HyperVoldo]

Ever wondered where that money from the Mann Co. Store goes?

[karambiatos]

inspired by a tub of snickers candy

BRILLIANT

[nice3333333333]

it has been proven that sport makes people think more and work better

Gabe's reply to this: FUCK NO!

[Shmople]

More effort was put into developing the snack bar than dino-d day

[DMsStuff]

@Shmople

lol youre aware valve didnt make dino d-day right?

[Shmople]

@DMsStuff lol i am now :P my room mate was addicted to that game, it only took me 5 mins to tell that is was awful 

[grishen]

I watch people talking about their favorite food.

Whats wrong with me?!

[BotFake]

I bet Gabe swallows those Pink cookies like their daily supplements...

[deathguy56]

i used to want to go to the valve building to play EP 3 beta, i still do, but now i also wanna see the snack bar!

[meepmepe]

Valve's business plan is based on stocking its snack bar.

... Freakin' Genius.

[Mapleopian]

DORITOS

[zebliks]

Best job ever.

[sandvicheatindwarf]

im going trick or treating over there next year!

[IAMTHENEFARIOUS]

Insomniacgames still better in lifestyle i think :U

[NightmareCrab]

what

[tooni700]

7000 calories a cookie? Oh My God.

[Berzerkerblazify]

I think Gabe had too much snack bar.

[AQWTheAsterisk]

7000 calorie cookie? MOTHER OF MERCY.

[AQWTheAsterisk]

7000 calorie cookie? MOTHER OF MERCY.

[P1XEL0]

After Revealing his Secret, He lost a shit load of Butter...

[ilovedogish]

lol press 9 .... drama ?

[Gematria009]

STAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!­!!!!

[lionmancer9597]

interviewer: why did you want to join valve?

new dude: uhhhh cause the snacks look good.

LOL

[ComeInStalker]

This is why gayben is so fat!

[BlackZero98]

That cookie guy is twitchier than a fucking squirrel.

[MrFlames2000]

beginning: My favorite snack is the cookie :3

[overcastgabriel]

I'm only 13 but I am going to buy a lot of games and hats I might so influential I might go to collage for it to get in

[DimitriGoryenko]

Ive watched this multiple times, the weirdness of this video never stops being apparent.

[knives4cash]

7000 calorie cookies? I think we know how Gabe got fat...

[FailedGambits]

They must get thousands of job applications a day...

[spinnenente]

best company to work at is probably valve followed by google

then there is a big gap idk what else comes afterwards

[MrKickyourbutt]

@spinnenente I'd put Pixar above those, but they are definitely #2 and #3.

[wendor24]

LOL 0:50 LOLI ANIME ON THE WALL XXXDDDD

[cdawgtv2]

I notice they don't have any cake...

[6spongey98]

Meanwhile, on my computer, fifteen brand new Half Life games, six hundred and eighty four Team Fortress 2 hats, and six thousand two hundred twenty two Half Life 2 mods. Can I work at Valve now?

[masterofsomthin]

But what about their hat room?

[beefysquid]

@masterofsomthin Why would they have a hat room???

[FinalFormLXVII]

@beefysquid BECAUSE OF WAR THEMED HAT SIMULATOR FORTRESS 2

[Canama139]

@masterofsomthin I'm pretty sure it's actually a "giant secret underground hat complex".

[datafreak667]

new task become accountant for valve

[vulcan280]

My favorite snack is the spy

[01FNG]

if the CEO is fat , expect a big snack room

[dahdyingdutchman]

0:44 gee i wonder why :D

[Dragonsamuari]

That's why there's Valve Time; everyone's too busy eating good food and snacks!

[mrtotoro56]

so thats why episode 3 isnt coming out

[Registole]

GAEBNEWLS

[greenjeps]

My favorite snack is the big pink pony.

[BlackFaceless]

those thirty dislikes were just jelly

[donbasuradenuevo]

First world problems.

[pirox1234]

It's been my dream for the 2 last years to work for Valve when I graduate.

[Bleenderhead]

My favorite snack is the spy.

[xOMFGxAxPiratex]

@Bleenderhead i laughed way harder then i should have

[ObadiahtheSlim]

7000 calorie cookie!? WTF!?

[Clawspider]

now i see why half-life 2 episode 3 is late, there all eating junk food.

[elmalhermano]

does the janitor gets snacks too??

[otakujuice11]

"Want" is not the word its I NEED to work for Valve. =D

[DukeNukemFl]

Good god my dream job just got even dreamier

[Chargal4]

Lol, they really have gaming cuisine down!

[MrDan2593]

"Problem solving at Valve"

Problem: People steal my butter

Solution: Wrap butter in bag

Problem: Snack makes me feel ill :(

Solution: Change snack

Problem: Cookie is fattening

Solution: Eat in small bites

Problem: Girls won't talk to me

Solution: Avoid girls

Do Valve MAKE games anymore? It seems more and more like a group of socially inept pre-teens. I want to work there :(

[Syrik22]

I'm pretty sure it's all a joke. At least everything that guy says. Pretty funny though