Steven Wright - Stand Up (Funny Guy)

[juggernaut3d]

Wtf is he saying????? Its as if he had marbles in his mouth!!!!

[smbtjb]

1:11

[1skullduggery]

i have a map of the united states....it's actual size. it says 1 mile = 1 mile....last summer i folded it....

[1skullduggery]

@OldieMusicMan yeah, that was him. originally from the great 'i have a pony' album.

[MadeInOregon27]

Funny! :)

[ChaosDave2]

@OldieMusicMan It was on his album "I Have A Pony."

[OUWATZAHLE08]

SWEAR TO GOD WHEN I GO TO COURT IM GOING TO SAY THE SAME THING !:) SENTICE TO 10 YEARS LOL

[KatLuvsTesla]

nice post Elissa.. thanks

[TSMarianaCordoba]

This guys is amazing.

Mariana Cordoba

[MusicBeforeY2K]

I want him to be my guy on the couch =P

[BettyBoatRocker]

He's the only comedian, albeit I prefer humorist, who could stay with observational comedy through his entire career and still make you laugh your ass off every time! And yet you could never tell, if he said what he was saying to be funny or if he even expected it to be funny to anyone else at all. BRILLIANT!

[NekromanticAngel]

He WAS the k-Billy radio guy.

[joshgret]

Steven wright is my hero. I hope i can meet him someday. If only more ppl knew about the jokes i do.

[EricNos24]

a woman told me that I remind her of steven wright, and I have never heard of him. I'm honored.

[DUBDUECE05]

Lmao this dude a trip

[southernboygonebad]

K Billy's super sounds of comedy

[GUAVcis06]

Sometimes u got to think about his joked to get it. He's very funny on some. Love his emotionless style

[Mobee211]

Did anyone else almost click out of this at the very beginning because they thought the announcer was speaking german?

[TheEXpothead]

I want that album "best of music" ^^

[king456]

this is funny to me movies youknow youknow when somebody reads the letter in the moven then you here the person the wrote the letter that kills me that happends to me when i read menus very funny line

[superspz8]

22 people are close up horizon photographers.

[JakeandElwoodBlues]

This is so early 90's.

[kubek]

He's a real philisopher

[11fiction]

genius

[LonesomeTroubadour]

This guy is incredibly funny.

[altclyti]

This is awesome - whole bunch of jokes I've never heard him do before. He's brilliant!

[OUWATZAHLE08]

people love stupid questions that what make this funny lov funny dum questions

[ChappersLaNoCry]

The reason you people don't find this funny is because he doesn't give you time to digest his jokes. He just says the next one right after. One thing Lee Evans does brilliantly aside from being insanely funny is pause after certain jokes. Steven wright doesn't laugh or show any emotion either, but, besides all those facts I still find this dude hilarious.

[Anaris10]

Don't like,don't watch.....simple

[09KEVO09]

I don't find this funny. But if you think it's funny thats okay too.

[jspepinc]

I just heard "backin up, backin up, backin up"...

[TheDjinn2]

.....................NOT!

[tulsakings]

this isnt funny

[tzlawina]

@tulsakings Your mom is sucking my cock right now, do you find that funny?

[tulsakings]

@tzlawina yeah thats hilarious now thats comedy! ....but i dont find this dude funny

[LonesomeTroubadour]

@tzlawina Well my mom is 87 so that would be funny.

[fuCopywrite]

@tulsakings do you have a sense of humor?

[tulsakings]

@fuCopywrite yeah but this dude isnt that funny

[Con281]

Amazeing

[MrThreepack]

19 people were forced into elevator practice by their grandfathers.

[lonelygloomyday]

Stand up comedies NEVER make me laugh. The stupid crowd laughs at everything and makes me feel like I aint got a sense of humor... lol

But he made me smile :) he's funny

[Beelzebuba3721]

@lonelygloomyday weird how humans act, right? I bet you almost every person in the audience would not laugh like they did there, if they were alone watching it in front of a computer. It's almost like a clap at the end of a musical. Most people do it just because everybody else is doing it. I like his humor though, not bashing him at all :)

[lonelygloomyday]

@Beelzebuba3721 I couldn't agree more :D

[xanthromera]

@Beelzebuba3721 Laughter isn't just an impulse it's also a form of communication.

[Beelzebuba3721]

@xanthromera i guess yawning falls into the same category then

[xanthromera]

@Beelzebuba3721 Only if it's done deliberately to communicate bordom.

[skydark]

@Beelzebuba3721 I'm in front of the computer, laughing at the jokes. What's wrong with that?

[Beelzebuba3721]

@skydark considering im talking about a crowd of people interacting with one another, im not sure how you laughing in front of your computer applies :P but i cant blame you for laughing. he's funny ;-)



[skydark]

@Beelzebuba3721 "I bet you almost every person in the audience would not laugh like they did there, if they were alone watching it in front of a computer. "

This is what you said. I was proving you wrong by giving you my example. That is all.

[Theitisme400]

@lonelygloomyday not even the legend Bill Hicks!!?

[nightsongs1970]

SW is a comic friggin' genius - but too smart for about 99% of the population.

[KungfuCow5]

I LIKE TURTLES!

[11889music]

This guy should write movie scripts!!!!

[nicaskey1]

I can't wear my best shirt I've lost a button hole.

[Myrtle791]

Dave here. "not even funny?" That's because everything he describes actually comes from your life. You actually have an album of backup beeps. Your grand-father actually made you practice standing wordlessly in an elevator with another person. Therefore nothing's funny to you. You wake up driving all the time. You have the world's largest collection of traffic tickets for rear-end collisions. };-]

[bodies42099]

226,000 view! boo ya!

[Trund27]

"...can you feel the tension...?" SO great!

[jacobnrrs]

6:24 Young amazing johnathan.

[crowravencorvenrow]

one of the things that makes him so funny is the fact that he always has a straight face, so it looks like he's being serious.

[TheAtheistParadigm]

the best comedian next to pryor

[tech4156]

not even funny yet crowd is laughing at everything.

[papstbenni]

0:14 holy shit, buddy holly is alive and hasn't aged since the 50's! Oo

[Trund27]

@papstbenni HAHA!

[smok7]

lmao

03:22

[pigduckpig]

I like this guy for the way he makes the crowd laugh premature at joke foundations. His last joke everyone laughed when it was not a punchline and it makes me wonder if he ever walked off stage thinking what a bunch of sheep.

[doda]

lmfao. "Bus, Train, Bus, Train, oh no... can you feel the tension?" the way he said that was just hilarious. His delivery is just amazing. I also agree with fazelife, the fact that he told a story completely out of jokes is genius.

[Trund27]

@doda Woops I copied you,

That sentence os one of the funniest because the timing and his voice is so great

[TheDediu]

he is amazing

[NIN1385]

Backin up backin up backin up... cause my daddy taught me good....

[Dameon725]

@NIN1385 LOL Wtf, great random ass comment, best thing is I know where you got it from. But why here, why now?

[NIN1385]

@Dameon725

Because of when he says "I'm backin up backin up backin up". Made me laugh right when I heard him say it.

[NIN1385]

This video is fucking loud. LOUD!

[Psikonort]

A brilliant mind.

[t1mel1ne]

he looks like wolf from english gladiators

[dsbardia]

U r aliv..u r alive..u r alive...n den u r dead...

[bushisatwat]

"writing a story about a photographer that goes completely insane trying to take a close up photo of the horizon".

thats gotta be the funniest fuckin line i've ever heard.

[crismmm45]

My idol

[nicaskey1]

@guitarking1011, you got me, that was a Steven francis line.

I've got a step ladder in my garage, I never knew my real ladder.

[20Necaxa10]

The Guy In The COUCH!!!! Lol

[nicaskey1]

KennyJGE. I'am leaving my job at the helium factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

[guitarking1011]

@nicaskey1 steven francis is great he did that sketch

[KennyGJE]

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

[castro1014]

"I spilled stain remover on my dog spot... And now hes gone..."

[blackserenade24]

billy connolly is my fav comedian and he gave props to steve wright, so i decided to check this out. steves a pretty funny guy, good at wut he does, but i still lean towards billy.

[OmegaFuckingWeapon]

@blackserenade24 watch the complete works stand up by steven wright i bet you change your mind lol

[machetero1]

holy shit thats the couch guy!

[theryanwarnock]

Hehe tea he

[seebali]

that red bulb joke KILLS me EVERY TIME!!!

[MultiMrsmiley]

@seebali kills you every time ehh ... well why are you comenting when your suposed to be dead ...

[spoonlamps]

@MultiMrsmiley If this is your attempt to be funny, dont give up your day job.

[MultiMrsmiley]

@spoonlamps I wasnt being funny its just this guy's standup got to me :)

[Krazywoot]

turn your sound down before you play this!

[Pickulus]

@Krazywoot

he thanks for the heads up

[cepoisonivy3karou]

15 people are crazy

[haltrman93]

What, would you prefer Dane Cook over Steven Wright? What a joke... Just because you might have to think about a joke for a second doesn't mean it's not funny, ya slowpokes xD

[disarmsox]

superb writer, one of the best.

[CaRnAgEreviews1]

whats wrong with the narrator

[CUnit787]

this guy isnt even funny...

[VincentBrooke1]

@CUnit787 I agree.

[McBane10]

@CUnit787 yeah i agree, i honestly didnt laugh at anything he said

[IIIIdepechemodeIIII]

@CUnit787 he's the best comedian alive.

[ThePsydome]

@CUnit787 Steven wright is the best stand up comic alive today. He is respected the world over.. If you didnt laugh, you are intellectually sub-normal. His jokes are genius...maybe you need a shouty and expressive yet dumbed down comic like dane cook or carrot top..

[CheeseFish7]

Bill Cosby said this was the guy to "replace" him (cosby) if he (cosby) ever died... Mentioned on CNN =P

[wizard924]

This guy

:D

[BigEasyWinger]

He sounds like Droopy the Dog! :P

He's hilarious!

[ChainsmokingPothead]

can anyone say what he smoked to get that layed back? I said it b4 but it wuzn't weed. just curious cuz I wanna try it *joke* nah but seriously just curious

[Bitchesgotnotaste]

@ChainsmokingPothead ritalin xD

"The reason Im so layed back is because in highschool I used to smoke a lot of ritalin"

[ChainsmokingPothead]

@Bitchesgotnotaste haha k, thanks for the reply.

[ChainsmokingPothead]

love the line "best of music" wonder what's on it :D

[FullyAutoMathmatics]

check my stand up on my page yall. if u like steven wright u might like me.  my style is similar

[D202116]

"that happens to me when I read menus" ROFL

[CominRiteOff]

hilarious... thats all that needs to be said

[Weslo2]

best introduction ever

"the next guy is afraid to go to sleep, because he's afraid he will dream he's in a coma, and wake up unconscious... ladies and gentlemen Steven Wright"

awesome stuff!

[thrilllex]

can you feel the tension?

XD

[Thortsen117]

is he hie out of his mind but he is funny

[Nobodie92]

my friend introduced me to this guy he's so funny hahaha. he has the weirdest most strangest comedy i love it!



[yurismir1]

@Nobodie92 You have the most worstest grammars. Sorry, I had to do that. :)

[dersh65]

Comic genius.....I'm going to see him Saturday in Vineland, NJ. Can't wait!!!

[0xXpraetorXx0]

anyone know when he did his tarot card bit?

[pulsating123]

@0xXpraetorXx0 i think it's in the "COMPLETE Works" upload

[chelseafan22]

is it just me, or did he use an Emo Philips joke?

[WhereDidMyCheeseGo]

'bus, train, bus, train. oh no. can you feel the tention?' 'bus, trai, bus, train. oh my god. the guy next to me said, ' my god these people are going to be killed instintly.' i said, 'well everyone dies instantly its the only way you can die. your alive, your alive, your alive, then your dead'.' HILARIOUS! i love this dude! he's so emotionless.

[mordokon]

every word is pure gold, hilarious!

[Bugattiman1011]

It's very clear now how Jimmy Carr was influenced by him

[awsomesk8rchick]

this dude is friggin halariouse

[anhedonia47]

@awsomesk8rchick your spelling is friggin halariouse

[Assdafflabaff]

@anhedonia47 And your spelling is fucking retarded you dumb fucking shit.

[anhedonia47]

@Assdafflabaff learn how to spell "hilarious" and stop doing a disservice to the human race

[Assdafflabaff]

@anhedonia47 Wtf are you talking about? I never even used the word "hilarious" in any of my comments. Learn how to read who posted what comments and also how to punctuate better than a fifth grader and stop doing a disservice to 15 year olds everywhere.

[anhedonia47]

@Assdafflabaff Thanks for taking credit for such an idiotic comment by retaliating against me. Btw, I was being sarcastic by misspelling it the same way.

[Assdafflabaff]

@anhedonia47 No one took any credit for anything, I was simply stating the fact that you're a shit brained fuck head. Read books son.

[anhedonia47]

@Assdafflabaff Take your own advice and learn a few more words besides, "shit" and "fuck"...

[Assdafflabaff]

@anhedonia47 Why don't you go take a fucking shit all over your computer so you can't post stupid ass comments on youtube anymore you shitty fucking fuck shit. Shitty shit shit fucking shit fuck fuck. Also, cunt.

[anhedonia47]

@Assdafflabaff Have fun with your coloring books and bath toys, moron.

[Assdafflabaff]

@anhedonia47 Have fun being the stupidest fuck on youtube, you small dicked retard.

[ScarTissue111907]

STEVEN WROIGHT!

[jackulator2]

vintage steven wright @ 1:01 lol

[peteisnotneat]

Is Steven Wright still performing?

[blueraptor255]

ya

he might still be on tour

i saw him a month or 2 ago

hes so funny

[Qermaq]

Not now, but he will be in April. Guess what his website is.

[KiLl3rWoRm69]

"Bus, Train, Bus, Train. Oh My God! Guy Says To Me 'God, These People Are Gonna Be Killed Instantly.' I Said, 'Well, Everybody Dies Instantly. It's The Only Way You Can Die. You're Alive, You're Alive, You're Alive, Then You're Dead.' He Said, 'But They're Not Gonna Die Of Natural Causes.' I Said, 'They're Gettin' Hit By A Train. Naturally They'll Die.'"

[GasPoweredWitch]

fuck off

[sweet518]

Thanks for translating the opening =)

[awefhiwefiuwafiuhai]

@sweet518 No one did translate it, but here's the translation if you want it:

"Next a guy who's too scared to go to sleep in case he dreams he's in a coma and wakes up unconscious. Stephen Wright!"

It's not that difficult, but for deaf people it might be.

[Halfbakedd69]

The voice in the beginning sounds like pinky from pinky and the brain

[fatas412]

cant wait im seeing him tonight

[RCshit]

"We got a new dog, he's a Paranoid Retriever.

He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him."

Fucking

great.

[semigotbanned]

nice haircut

[boz9818]

I'm writing a short story myself, right now.

It's the story of a photographer who goes completely insane trying to take a close up photograph of the horizon.

[derek6678421]

Why do you repeat things

[boz9818]

@derek6678421 1.) Because it's funny. 2). They are the highlights of the act. 3). Because EVERYONE repeated different things (it's just annoying when something is repeated over, and over, and over again). The fact that no one is repeating the same thing is an indicator of the brilliance of this act in itself.

[omgnisse]

This guy just.... rocks!!!!!

[y0toriii]

you're alive you're alive you're alive then you're dead. lmfao

[fazelife]

hes a genuis because he told a story out of jokes.

[fazelife]

genuis

[HappyBirthdaySANTA]

they should clone him!!!!!!!!!

[TimesNuRoman]

its like if the joker became a comedian.

[bungbung13131]

bus, train, bus, train, oh no...

[dirtybenj]

Check out the girl at 5:23, clearly didn't hear/get the joke.. fakes a laugh then pulls a face that could kill a small horse!!! Almost as funny as the joke - elevator practise = classic.

[DxERAx]

steven wroight! where the hell did that aussie accent come from?

[HallowCreed]

ah ha ha ah, swish, thats almost as funny as this guy.

[DIPSHYTE]

probably from the australian person that said it.

[phantomoftheopera789]

bus train bus train oh my god

[rvbdude88]

"here's $10. dont tell your mother"

"it'll cost more than that"

hahahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha­haha

[diderr01]

"no, but I've woken up driving"

[Minimejulia5]

I swear I know someone who talks and jokes just like Steven Wright! I just showed him who Steven Wright was, he DIED laughing, and had to admit that yes, he was just like Steven Wright.

[diderr01]

mitch hedberg

[Minimejulia5]

Uh no, a personal friend of mine who goes by the nickname Cosmo.

[m3ndez2010]

yeah mitch!

[RideTehLightnin]

oh yea i have a friend who reminds me of this guy to

[BlackestBlood420]

That voice at the beginning just might have been the biggest turn-off I've ever heard in my life.

[AenemaToology]

I hear that!

[767FLYBOYTIM]

This guy has always been a fav of mine. Thanks for sending this to me kaekizzle

[Kaekizzle]

Hey! you're welcome!!

[Kaekizzle]

Utterly Brilliant!! i loved every bit of that!!!

Bloody Genius!

[Myrtle791]

Steven Wright & Robin Williams bring out my schizophrenia. I like them both, equally, even though their styles are direct opposites. When Wright was one of the fresh, new talents, TV Guide described him as the most intellectual of the new comedians. "I don't know how she did it, but my girlfriend got poison ivy on her brain. To scratch it, she has to think of sandpaper." "They get wood for paneling from a long, thin forest." ( :

[Camporese27]

Myrtle791 how could someone like both of them? Steven is a genius and Robin Williams hasn't been funny in like 30 years, he is still doing those ridiculous voices that he did in aladdin when I was 9, I have never seen him be himself on any interview, he always falls back on his retarted impersonations to make up for his lack of personality both in interviews and in his stand-up. Steven doesnt need to do goofy voices because his material is actually funny and thought provoking.