Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe

[cochranexyz]

How about a show where people try to live making minimum wage?

[ImahGoer]

They should have a show where you invite these fuckers on to scrounge for money then the panel - armed with sub-machine guns and rocket launchers - shoot the fuckers :D.

[Dungarth]

..David Mitchell & Charlie Brooker are 2 beacons of light amidst the sea of decay, deprivation & perversity that is the British media.

[siren7193]

Good God some people have no dignity what so ever :S

[bluecanary487]

It's pretty sad when Jeffrey Archer isn't the least likeable person in the room.

[BloedendeAppelflap]

Charlie Brooker's great. I just find it somewhat ironic that a programme about the idiocies of modern television should be made & aired in cooperation with Endemol.

[Weeman44444444444444]

ginger kid

[HTprods]

3:02 Beatles!

[Mernard47]

"The show's hosted by Richard Madeley, in full-blown, blow-dried, unbuttoned seduction mode."

[innit27]

the tabloids are full of some autistic cunt who can dance. a back story designed to enlist the emotions of morons. u cant win a talent show without a back story. my mums leg just fell off as she was trying to save some poor africans who havent workd out how how the fuck to run a country since da white man left. pls send lenny i ate my wife henry

[RicardoClement]

Fuck Off, come back and then Fuck Off again.. I love you Charlie hahaha

[redmeens]

I can't believe Fortune is actually a programme! It seems like one of the few shows worse than Britain's Got Talent.

[Madamooo]

...in full blown, blow dried, unbuttoned seduction mode hehehehe love brooker x

[swordhunter12]

Jeffrey Archer

Because when i think of someone who just wants someone who can talk from the heart, I think of a Conservative *rolls eyes*.

[EbsNhexz]

@swordhunter12 Yeah a tory who's pathological lies landed him in prison. You don't even need satire to see the bollocks being spread around.

[joeymod135]

Victor , That name Charlie ignores it seems to Me.

[MrZeus141]

fuck off you tv pricks

[DAVROSS44]

Fuck off, come back, then fuck off again...

[Haza3666]

My god, I'm so interested in that story about a wizard with OCD

[theravendemon]

It always bothered me when companies make a big spectacle out of donating large sums of money. It's clearly no longer about doing good for goodness sake at that point, it's about making everyone else think "My, what lovely people they are!". If you really cared about the cause, you would just give the money and leave it at that without saying "Oh yeah, put my fat fucking face on the poster too" (I'm talking about major companies at this point. Not sure what this show does after they give money)

[JallenMeodia]

@theravendemon Like Jimmy Carr, the prick with a heart of gold.

[ServantOfAllah0264]

a wizard with OCD?

[TheOriginalJellicle]

XFactor/Whatever Country's Got Talent/any other generic "talent" show would be far more entertaining with him at the helm XD

"F*ck off, come back, and then f*ck off again."

[Gaupa2]

Perjuring Twat and the Hooker's Demands by A.N. Gingerkid

[mrvillain88]

i LOVE jacqueline gold so much. she's talented, smart, intelligent, a sweetie when working with team members and a SUPER smokin'-hot chick! damn!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Thisnameistaken11]

Oh fuck off

[mrvillain88]

@Thisnameistaken11 same 2 you, mate!

[Booshie321]

im sittin here on my own, pissed as a fart and laughing my ass off, FANKS! xxx

[s3077769]

@Booshie321 , Ive been their it's good

[Applemask]

by A. N. Gingerkid.

[MrMakeDo]

Awesome. <3 Charlie Brooker.

[BobdaLobsta]

lol

[rupinjapan]

fuck off, come back and then fuck off again

[Originalsoundz]

I Fucking Love Charlie Brooker!

[BooJoMan]

haha Fart Stink

[foxyfaefife]

Had to pause at 'Perjuring Twat' whilst I finished off laughing.

[Azuresong]

@foxyfaefife whilst whilst whilst whilst whislstsltstststt

[rosiescott88]

ARCHER?? REALLY?!

[dwaynebenzie33]

JEFFERY ARCHER!! hahaha what the hell?

[maclennan73]

Another genius show- The Beatles -'you never give me your money' playing as he rants you'll not get a fucking penny out of us, you fucking begging bowl hand me out cunts. True class.

[Substantive64]

"Fuck off,come back, and then fuck off again!"

Hope no one gets that tatooed on them........

[HSW1212]

Charlie brooker is a FKING legend.

[14051996]

whats the song right at the start

[JohnMstudios]

@14051996 'its a hard knock life' by "annie" or "jay-Z"

[14051996]

@JohnMstudios cheers! ;D

[JohnMstudios]

@14051996 no problem

[lucashillpaul]

fuck off, come back, then fuck off again!

man, i love this guy!

[ZeetherKID77]

2:50 looks like some band attempting to rip off Here Come The Mummies

[bobzilla211]

nathan barley would approve

[syarnold]

ITV is a horrible channel that bases itself solely on exploiting people. Disgraceful.

[nolifechance]

You just described the word "Government". Just wanted to point that out.

[syarnold]

You just made yourself look like a cunt, just wanted to point that out.

[moogle301]

What pocket? The old woman.. hnuh

[chocomog35]

'Fuck off, come back, then fuck off again.'

[SparrowisSexy]

"...massive, waddling chunk of frigg"

You inspire me, Charlie. I'm using this in my day to day banter.

[CloseButNoDoughNut]

perjuring twat and the hookers demands, lmfao xD xD xD xD xD xD

[necr0sys]

lmao

[AnimeCobalt]

Lmfao, Charlie Brooker is ftw

[diploash]

Charlie Brooker and Comedian Stewart Lee speak the truth. They vent everything so well! The way they take the piss out of mainstream "culture" is brilliant.

[1CCHH1]

"fuck off, come back and then fuck off again." haha

[Rachmanomaniac]

This program is fucked up lol. Just pitiful individuals like on the X Factor.

[VivaZweiFan]

i woked for tv, news tv for that matter, they're all pieces of shit. it's not about informing people anymore, it's not about quality entertainment. it's just a big steaming pile of shit that attracts people like flies that they figured out would make money for them. drama, blood, sob stories, anything that will apply to emotions. these fuckers do that to manipulate you to get their money. if you don't trust me, go work for tv and listen to them trying to put blood into news like it's holiday.

[monkeyboy85]

yes very true viva, watching the news is like living with someone miserable who likes telling you about how many people were killed that day, funnily enough I dont watch it ever. If its something I need to know like we've been nuked I think I'll see the mushroom cloud.

[VivaZweiFan]

same here friend. good news is bad news isn't it. they are about making money, and they're greedy enough to figure out what pushes people's buttons. they'll turn water shortage into world wide tragedy. all I'm gonna say is.... 'ohh fuck offf'.

[VivaZweiFan]

in fact: "fuck off. come back and then fuck off again"

[RnW93]

@VivaZweiFan well said good sir, or madam.

[BVargas78]

@VivaZweiFan I had enough of it and don't use TV or pay a licence anymore, it was agreed in writing with them, so i only have a TV hooked up to an xbox360 and the internet on my pc, as long as i steer clear of live streaming of television broadcasts on my pc i'm safe.

Got to say, i don't miss it at all and i'm £140 better off a year for it.

[earthstick]

@VivaZweiFan

I worked in TV as well, the techinical side, but I concur. It's all about the money and that's just the good TV stations. The ones that don't advertise are all about propaganda and social programming. It the same the world over.

So I don't have a TV any more and I convinced a few others to ditch theres as well.

[BobbyRice2]

@VivaZweiFan

That's what the news is though, nowadays atleast, tis their job, power to em. If I want news of importance, i'll find it tbh.

[farceofnature]

@VivaZweiFan

it's true, nothing but garbage

[VivaZweiFan]

how low has tv gone? fucking beggars everywhere. tv quizzes, shows with people begging for money, news is all dramatic bullshit stretched out so much you watch the same shit for a week, flashy animations everywhere like it's supposed to replace content, big brother, dancing with the stars, fox news, fucking talk shows? what is this shit? no wonder people turn to the net to watch what they want instead of this god awful piece of shit television.

[Garsideffxi]

Where can I get a copy of "Perjuring Twat"?

[youngrichie]

you can pick one up Platform 3 Victoria Station!

[sandercohen666]

cunt committee...nice!!

[Pepotamo1985]

Which episode is this culled from? I'm a Screenwipaedo and I've never seen it before.

[LordImmolation]

If you ever find out, I would also like to know

[kielbasaj]

Sorry, all I read there was "I'm a ...paedo."

[stevenuuu1212]

"Waddling chunk of frig"

[BrummieAvenger]

Telling a load of people to f*ck off is neither big nor clever, but sometimes you can't beat mindless swearing and name calling to get a point across.

Charlie's anger with the world makes me so happy.

[ch1mpanzeethat]

Lmao @ that ginger kid. How unfortunate.

[DinoGuy1993]

Lmao they really are the cunt commitee XD

Charlie Brooker is legend!

[thejuryconsultant]

Perjuring Twat and the Hookers Demands! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

[prnorth]

F[beep]k off, come back and F[beep]k off again!

[bishopthumpertythump]

I thoroughly recommend his book 'screenburn' which covers his guardian television review column

[rosscopicotrain]

Definitely, got that one and his 'Dawn of the Dumb' book as well. Don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a book.

[o0oasspieo0o]

i was reading that on a bus i was laughing that hard that everyone was staring at me, but that book and screen burn are both so funny i have had to put them down for a while so i can stop laughing.

[thatch]

I've just bought the book on your recommendation :)

I love brooker

[Bossymark1]

Fuck off.

Come back.

Fuck off again.

[ninjarob01]

One of the few joys I get from Televsion these days is listening to Charlie Brooker tear it apart! Bravo Mr Brooker, Bravo!

[vitalogy]

This man is a genius

[thhhegame33]

lol. brooker cracks me up. i wish we had him here in the states.

[matmat182]

fuck off come back and then fuck off again!

Charlie brooker is right bout everything

[PapaLeGrand]

hahahahahahahahaha

"my name is nicholas""FUCK OFF"

[MrTeatime]

You fucking begging bowl, hand-me-out cunts! BWAHAHAHAHAHA

[banksie1990]

lmao,

he's soooo funny.

[allbonafide]

lolll hahaha the way he describes simon jordan

[simplelife88393]

Fuck off, come back, oh fuck off again...

[Sangdude]

That one had me rolling :D

[MenlyMenlyMen]

Nice clip. What's the song that begins at 1:25? Heard it somewhere...

[jnoir87]

It's "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits. Great tune!

[josh3xq]

"you're not getting a penny from us you fucking hand-me-out begging bowl cunts"

[virusinsideus]

"fuck off, come back on and fuck off again"

[petebj123]

that ginger kid looks popular

[ryko26]

"Perjuring Twat" spat my tea across my laptop

[supernoodles4]

Does the kid at 1.43 remind anyone else of Hazel Blears?

[machinesofdog]

fuck off

come back

and then fuck off again....

lololololol =b

literally crying with laughter!

[poisonarrow8]

osd? whats that?

[herod35]

Simon Jordan, massive, waddling, chunk of frig....pmsl hahaha

[VanguardBeta]

When did it happen? When did a rung so low appear on the ladder of dignity that it can only be occupied by a show that encourages people to beg rich bastards for money? How can you argue that money should go to good causes when this shit is on television?

[DexterAndCromwell]

Crazy name, crazy guy!

[Darkasthenight06]

I absolutely love this but I just wish they'd cut the end bit off. Every time I see the word endemol I have to run to the toilet and be violently sick.

[djcondra]

Darkasthenight06 you talk way too much like Charlie Brooker. Develop your own style please. It is important. Greets.

[Darkasthenight06]

Darling I've talked like this since I was eight. Anyway, I don't really think you can come to that conclusion from one friggin post.

[djcondra]

Dude I was just fucking with you. Gis a kiss.

[Darkasthenight06]

Fair enough. I kinda thought you were but I thought I'd play it safe and assume you were a dickhead.

[thenextpope]

fuck off then come back then fuck off again

[joewhittles]

hahahaha Jeffery Archer, just fantastic, you couldnt get a more hated person

[MRsneakyfeet]

"your not getting a penny out of us you FUCKING hand me out BEGGING bowl cunts" hahaha

charlie should of been on that pannel of judges.

[hannahDlite]

ha ha ha ha ha haha ha hahahahahahahahahahahaha ha ha hahahahahaha ha ha ahahhahahahahahahhahahahahha

and haha!!!

[wisteela]

I love the idea of that kid's book about a Wizard with OCD.

[yamaharaptor660]

they should of call the the show theving cunts insted of fortune millon pound giveaway.

[weenore]

Reality tv makes me fucking sick. It's getting beyond a joke the lame arse pieces of shit they find to make and star in these pathetic programs but the ratings get higher and higher. i don't understand!!!!!

[blairdixonscott]

Screen wipe is the best thing on the *****box by a mile!

[JJbelle66]

fuck off come back and then fuck off again

i love him

[Skip2TheEnd]

"..Or cunt commitee as I like to call them!" lol brilliant.

I do agree that you just have to see the kid in the bear suit for one second to say, "Oh fuck off!" lol.

[OoMGeddon]

Hahaha, archer, what an ass. Why haven't I heard of this godawful excuse for  a TV Show before?

<3 Brooker.

[Henryt90]

because its so shit

[Psycarne]

This programme is fucking unbelievable. These thieving capitalist cunts throw scraps at the poor. It's like making Medieval culture into evening entertainment.

Of course that is the answer to lifes ills isn't it? Have the super rich give a percentage of what they have taken from us back. It's like robbing a house and thinking everything will be ok after you give some guy his DVD player back but keep everything else.

[RebelVoDKa]

Well said.

Come the revolution, those cunts would be first against the wall.

[jeroid]

It's been said before but it's worth saying again... FUCK OFF, COME BACK THEN FUCK OFF AGAIN!

[TGPMatt]

Best Charlie Brooker quote ever :D

[woolowl]

"Fuck off. Come back. Then Fuck off again"

I love Charlie. He's a right cu... .......

[hugalove]

Jacqueline, how can Jeffrey Archer talk from the heart? He hasn't got one to start with. I'm glad that's sorted out, Cheers. Mike S.

[harryh10]

lmao! thats fukin class

[medemme]

brooker's a joker simpleh

[lindybeige]

I was involved in this show, and I don't think Mr Brooker is rude enough about it.

[Motherwell1976]

Fuck off. Come back and then fuck off again!!

[SXI1972]

simerabc2..fuck off, come back, then fuck off again

[j2bags]

I've just realised that charlie brooker needs to appear as a judge on a brainless reality tv talent show, based solely on watching hip shout fuck off repeatedly at the tv...

[yodro]

Absolutely classic. Lol at the ginger kid XD XD XD

[lesterbangs1]

"Fuck off, come back, then fuck off again." I must remember that.

[djsmerky]

legend

[citizenfaith]

Wanking for coins :)

[jillyleisurepirate]

wooooahh ginger kid

[JunkerJames]

Any chance of the video game bit from this episode? That's what all the nerds want.

[UnbeardedNonsense]

Haha, it's like a funny version of Harry Hill's tv burp.