Funny pick up lines

[rolltide402]

Do you work at Litttle Ceasers? cause your hot n im ready

[aintgottymforthis]

...Falling Cat Production?!?!?! WHERE THA FUCK U GET THAT IDEA FROM??

[GuessWhoLikeYou]

The body of the girl is really wierd

[middlemae]

Roses are brown

Violets are brown

Who shit in my lawn?

[nuclearmaster2]

You forgot one:

"Dang baby, are you a computer technician? Because you can turn software into hardware." :3

[shelly79916]

@nuclearmaster2

[imNerdz]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This dosnt make sense

Refrigorator

[JessicaR79]

like the math one. lolz



[hotmessmissy]

hahahahha

[JuliasarousRex]

what the hell was wrong with her boobs ?! O__O

[imNerdz]

@JuliasarousRex Hmm lets start with, they're cartoon titties?

[JuliasarousRex]

@imNerdz yeah but i've seen other cartoons with boobs ..and they don't look like that o.O

plus , i wasn't really expecting a response ..soo yeaah

[tolerateu]

Girl you're like a backflip, I won't do you. (Because I'm too scared to try.)

[KHeartall]

The meow scared me...

[sachicolors30]

.....

[NixxerJixxerWixxer]

My rooster just died, can I bury it in your behind? huhuhuh

[irenekate]

ahaha. "YOU MIGHT AS WELL SLEEP WITH ME" WHY? "BECAUSE IF YOU DONT I WILL TELL EVERYONE YOU DID ANYWAY"

[300Nightfire300]

roses are red, violets are blue i want to get you pregnant

[XxadenwoodsxX]

oh my god your so funny im gonna favorite this and sub to you bitch lmfao

[hristijan325]

Roses are brown

Violets are brown

Who's been shiting all over my lawn?

[MrxXgangstaXx]

Boy : Hey, wanna go back to my place, have sex and eat popcorn afterwards?

Girl : What!? Hell no!

Boy : Why? Don't you like popcorn?

[jmByhanie]

ang bastos! pero nakakatawa ung huli :D

[saldog100]

what is name of the song?

[saldog100]

whats name of song?

[sardinz1]

I may not be Luna, but I sure can Lovegood

[anna901ful]

i loke the last part

if your wondering what is loke like+love=loke

[juicycouturee95]

my love for you is just like diariah i just cant hold it in

[DwaynePanda]

have you tried any of these on women latley........i doubt it

[HispanicCoolGuy5903]

I like the one that says "if your left leg is halloween, and your right is christmas???....Can I come visit you between the holidays?

[123ramenlover]

whats the first song called

someone tell me please!!!

[palacsintakat]

@123ramenlover lol you're so lovely by scouting for girls i think

[MsPiepie100]

1. I wish you were my homwork so icould do you on the table

2. If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me

3. Your left leg is Thanksgiving your right is Christmas can I visit between holidays

4. If I get you high will you get me low

5. I lost my number can I have yours

LOL :) XD

[rhizpoth]

kita boobs joke

[rhizpoth]

kita boobs

[steve41557]

Why are they dropping the poor little kitty in the begining? Kitty Kitty

[jfrostyforest]

hey sexy fingers

[gregify13]

those were some messed up tits *sqeeze*

[whyhaaythere]

I had earphones on and that cat goes 'meoww' scared te living daylights out of me..

[ThePivotRR]

-are You a chicken?

-Why

-Because you sat on my 2 Eggs!

[JAGJustAGuy3]

roses are red

voilets are blue

im feeling horny

what about you?

[JAGJustAGuy3]

song is the best bit

[DeathHimself1000]

5 Pickup lines- Is there a mirror in your pocket ? Cus' I can see myself in your pants.

4-Are you wearing Rocket Ship underwear? Cus' your ass is outta this world!

3-Roses are red, Lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour

2-Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Lets have sex

And... 1- I lost my virginity, can I have yours?

[strangecrumb]

Thumbs up if you watched the whole thing (and now know how pointless your life is...)

[PrinsessBubbles101]

The Last Onee Was Amazing(:

[liliena235]

this is gay.

[N0BEEFJUSTH0MIES]

ROSES ARE REDISH

VIOLETS ARE BLUEISH,

YOU HAVE NO FORESKIN,

THEREFORE YOU ARE JEWISH

[iiFRESHMANKiiDD]

2:02 is fucking hilarious, lol.

[adam26o]

got a funny wun THE WORD IS LEGS HOW BOUT WE GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND SPREAD THE WORD

[poppinbrownbear]

Yo lets play titanic. When I say "Iceberg" you go down;)

[mrweedmuncher]

Job= im an astronaut, my next mission is to explore uranus

[pugskreationz]

roses are red

violets are blue

i cant rhyme

vaginal fluids

[spikeharusame]

that's not bribery that's blackmail

[AndrewK131]

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I am sitting in the loo Thinking of you! OMG! Now I forgot What I came here to do? While I sit and hesitate... I wonder should I sh!t or masturbate..? Roses are red, Violets are blue... Here I am shitting and masturbating too! While I am thinking dirty thoughts about you!!!.

[AndrewK131]

roses are red

apples are sour

open your legs

and give me an hour...

[1skaterchickify]

whats the song in the beginning

[ijusthadsex24]

2:13 is off Cyanide and Happiness you stealer of interwebs material!!!

[09ghostfreak]

Are you a ketchup? coz my hotdog is looking for you

[knowntoskeet]

I put the S-T-D in stud, all i need is U

:)

[12d0m1]

more like wanna go to my house we will do some long math add a bed subtract your clothes multiply me and you then round your hole then maybe later add your sister ?

[returnofhockey1224]

you did it wrong...

its a mans obligation to stick his boneration in a womans separation with the sorta penetration to increase the population for the next generation duh

[melissa41000]

guy-do you have any raisins?

girl- no..?

guy- HOW BOUT A DATE?

[kfdyy]

Are you a lighter? Because you flick my Bic.

[SubForSubSPAMHERE]

999th like

[TheBushrod123]

if you were homework ide do you on the table

[madrid4life7]

u must be an alien cuz ur ass is out of this world

[madrid4life7]

last part is the best lol

[winggod]

last line is epic

[nascargo19thesecond]

Roses are red

Grass is green

Open your legs and I'll fill you with cream.

[friginyewww]

roses are grey

violets are grey

im colourblind and

shit at poetry :\

[nextgenerationdemon]

are you an oven?

because you make my dough rise :3

[17themeanbean]

roses r redd

violets r blue

i got chlorofoam(or how eever you spell it)

shit she fainted on my cock

[xQuickScopeZo]

Is there a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

[joesafagget]

Is ur dad a chicken farmer? Cuz u sure know how to raise a cock.

[BlueTropicIce]

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW SOME MORE ABOUT PICKING UP GIRLS,

HEAD INTO THIS BLOG AND CHECK IT :)

blogger.com/profile/0590194558­1629621921

[TheTyraK124]

@picsslabs31 Shes so lovely- Scouting for Girls :D Its an awesome song 

[picslabs31]

what is the song called????

[shadow12w]

what song did you use in this vid? :)

[xxValleyboy209xx]

Sup girl my name ain't Fred Flintstone but I can make your Bedrock

[plplpop1]

u got it all wrong dude, these only work for blondes

[MrStealYourgirl00]

YOULL BE MCDONODS AND ILL BE BRUGER KING ILL HAVE IT MY WAY AND YOULL BE LOVEN IT

[darkhaven33]

I thought these were the cutest!

[MrsMeiwes]

Nice vid... Let's shag...

[MrGertvdkolk]

Roses are blue

Violets are red

Oh, fuck coulors

I'm great in bed!

[9835445]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm not good with poems

Nice tits!!

[TheCodchamp123]

Boy: Wanna go out tonight?

Girl: No.

Boy:You don`t even know what I said~!

Girl. Yes I do.

Boy: What`d I say then?

Girl: Wanna go out tonight.

Boy: Pick you up at eight.

[samikiller12]

@TheCodchamp123 lol, u r a genius :P

[shifobrains1]

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a gun

Get in the fucking van.

[wonka479]

@shifobrains1 lol u stole my comment

[jonathankundinger]

@shifobrains1

roses are red

violets are blue

if u dont stop these jokes,

then ill kill you

[carterxm17]

That unconcious party one was stolen from Explosm Comics. Downvote!

[nelson7951]

DAM SHIT SCARDED THE CRAP OUT OF ME I DIDENT KNOW I HAD THE VLOUME UP AND AS SOON AS THE CAT MEOW I JUMPED HAHA LOL

[lolsmileyface62698]

what song is this ??? and it sounds REALLY familiar if anyone finds out can u please tell me what the name is and if it was ever in a Tv show or a movie

THANKS !!!!! :) :) :) :)

[stallion0308]

Nice song!

[pedofilefan]

nice tits

[LouisRickful]

This is mine Are you an angle because i have a boner Wait your a guy Oh NOOOOOOOOO

[deathkittie2]

what was the first song?

[AaBbCc279]

Are your parents retarded? Because you look special.

[MrHeartbreaker12345]

are you a Ketchup? coz my Hotdog is longing for you.

[romeoisthebestable]

after watching this i when out and tryed it, well let jus say the cops are looking for me .. they call it sexual harassment i jus call it pickup lines

[JaytFreshBeat]

Most of these will get me slapped...

[TheJpk23]

lol

[michaelrocksjb2]

wow, luigi masi lead me here by a miss-click :)

[Flubber879]

1:18 PELVUS THRUST

[nickeyy6]

2:36-3:06 lml

[jok3r772]

im here! What are your other 2 wishes ;)

[MrDyl7]

Here are some:

Are you from heaven? Cause I've got an erection.

and

I bet you ten dollars my dick won't fit in your mouth.

yeah they're dirty but they're funny

[Bracia12345]

the poem rules

[Zebstrika962]

hey i like your boobs go to prom with me :D rwj

[10kvs]

Its magic watch not wand, how the fuck does a wand run fast?

[livingmyteenagedream]

best one i got was can i take a picture of you?

i was like why?

so i can show santa what i want for christmas

:)

[sugabuga1592]

name of the song???

[jerzz10]

bastos!

[horsesrmylife23]

"niceshoeswannafuck"

gotta say it real fast so theyre like, uh...what? lol

[mkarr22]

If I asked you to have sex with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

[Iainus240]

hey baby *waits 10 seconds*... Well its not just gonna suck itself is it?!

[DarkFrostxX]

@xc15981598 omg i love that!

[begarfield12]

at 2:20- 2:35 i would say this

ADD the bed

SUBTRACT our clothes

DIVIDE your legs

and pray to god you dont MULTIPLY

cuz u know mupltiply as in being pregnant lol haha

[THEoxymorons69]

whats the name of the song in the beggining

[boonbo11]

never fail pick up line: If i ask you to have sex with me, will the answer to that be the same as the answer to this question?

[mrSHROOMZ808]

i met this bitch from military base... a nice ass body with a fucked up face..

[mrSHROOMZ808]

hows about we goto my house and do some math....... we can add a bed , subtract our clothes , divide your legs , and multiply.

[moniquesmilesalot]

aha my favorite part was at 2:12

[iHOBOxoxo]

Hey, you wanna 68? Ya know, you go down... I'll owe you one ;)

[BriggetteRox]

the poem should have been ;

Roses are Red

Nuts Are Round

Bras are Up

Panties Are down

Belly to Belly

Skin to Skin

When its stiff

stick it in!

NOW THAT A FUCKING LOVE POEM!!! :D

[1blueshe]

@BriggetteRox holly crap thats fucking funny

[oneakinddoll]

@BriggetteRox lolololololololololol... one interesting poem, eh?? lolololol

[H3RSH3YB4R1]

@BriggetteRox Theres also, Roses are red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go up, Pants go down, body to body, skin to skin, stand up or bend deown, and things go in! ;D

[CTxSOCCER]

@BriggetteRox lol nice

[AlexLloydPowell]

BAHAHAHA Loving the cyanide and happiness reference :D

[MsFannyAdams]

Smile like a Donut

[pickles565]

"How do you like your eggs, scrambled or fertilized?"

[wow000999]

the ''mislead" one was pretty cute ^-^ i would fall for that lol its cute.

[SuperCrazychick101]

lmfao i like the last 1

[Shadowtamer16]

I'll admit, these are cute, but if someone said that to me in real life I'd probobly shank them out of reflex.

[Shadowtamer16]

@OV3RKILLGamingClan THIS

[JONEG20able]

Do you work at subway?

Why?

Cuz your giving me a footlong

[TheK1LLsW1TCH1000]

im like a RUBIX cube the more you play with me the harder i get

[saif01711]

Do you work at a chicken farm?

No. Why?

Cos you sure know how to raise cocks ;)

[boystoys1]

in holidays :D

[MICHELLY1395]

whats this song called

[21Chelseyy]

If This Leg Is Halloween And This One Is Christmas Can I Come Visit Youu Between The Holidays :P

[Son0fBinladen]

Did u just fart? CAUSE U BLEW ME AWAY!

[Athenademi360]

@Son0fBinladen Yes i just did.

lol

[tzfer3]

A N N O Y I N

[ktmonty9]

Do you work at the airport? I saw you checking out my package.

[ArmandoReyes691]

There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?

[yourlifeisafail]

its a mans obligation to stick his boneration into a womans seperation. this kind of penetration will increse the population of a futute generation. if youd like a demonstration lie down.

(south park) 

[miani8]

omg... these r so uncool and are 99.9% to not work. one sec, i hear that in my daughters room. why do i hear ooooh... and ohhhh thats it... and uh. OH SHIT MY DAUGHTER!

[mimiana56]

i think i raped the rewind button..cause the falin cat lol

[oreoswimmer23]

@mimiana56 it wasnt even that funny...

[stongerthenlove]

hahahahah that was amazing 

[Eshaazx]

Can i give you an Australian kiss, its just like a French kiss but only down under. :D

[dudealishes]

fail the part on the couch or *sofa* was copyrighted

try and come up with your own material.

[norwaygirl1990]

Do you belive in love with first sight, or should I pass again?

[EngineOfficial]

My girlfriend just says to me Im horny and 1 hour later business done! :D

[doggieheart]

156 people got slapped

[angel703888]

Love the cat,so cute ^.^

[RetiredYet]

I have to admit, I lol'd at several of those

[foster842]

that shirt is very becoming on you, if i were that shirt i would be cuming on you too.

[angel703888]

Lolz these were hilarious.

[chanibify]

@IwishIcouldFC chloroform works too . . .

[xiaobin90]

i like the last part :D

[BSCEnVy]

I am a magical being. take off your bra.

Hi. You'll do.

Would you like an auistralian kiss? it's just like a french kiss, but down under.

If i pet you, will you follow me home?

Your shirt would go great with my floor!

[jessicahxx1]

@BSCEnVy

australian kisses are the best ;) im an aussie hahahahaha i should know

[merji26juy]

do you eat some corn? bcuz its not funny!

[DixyNormous14]

i wanna be a pokemon master, so i can peek a chu

[acornfairy13]

lolz this was funny



[CocoNechanTheCat]

>:( i dont thos pick up lines.....

[durffffffff]

lets play the lion game. get on your hands and knees and ill stick my head in your mouth.