Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Italian Topiary

[ayekantspeylgud]

The cocktail sounds good but who on earth thinks about putting a chair on their table as decor?!

[3Trailmarker]

She has horrible taste!! PUKE

[abracadaverous]

Let's start by taking a perfectly good Bellini and making it something that tastes like a wino put it together, then let's all try to talk to each other over dinner around a chair I inexplicably stuck in the middle of the fucking table.

[TrapezoidalDinosaur]

Goddamn, Sandy, you should have just majored in sculpture or studio arts or something. Slap some bullshit piece description about feminism on that thing and you're done. A+ You've done it again! Great use of implied alcoholism and depression!

[RaineaTrenton]

How are you supposed to eat around that thing?

[punderful920]

A chair, tacky none the less, as a centerpiece?!?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

[shanghaiallie]

If you can afford a "tablescape" involving an antique chair, gold rimmed plates, custom stationary, etc. and you sucked at cooking why would you not just hire a caterer? I can't imagine the kind of event where a table setting like that would be paired with what looks like jello vanilla pudding with hershey's syrup and pasta with frozen asparagus.

[BurnSpangler]

I'll never understand why sandra spends more time decorating a table then making the food.

[juliayy1]

"Keep it simple" uh yeah cause your shitty tablescapes are totally simple

[goliaboi]

BEEEEAUUUUUUUUTIFAL.

[gallifrey1212]

The dinner jacket looks like 80's trash fashion, and that overly-decorated chair on the table (of all places for a chair) is absoultely batshit.

[GentlemanOrcus1]

"I'm going to make you a great cocktail called a FLAWHRence fizzy..."

[northnomad]

She is insane.

[dragonslayer015]

Why would you use a chair as a center piece? Is she jewish?

[thegreatCOOPS]

@dragonslayer015 actually i think she converted to judaism... but i'm jewish and i;ve never used a chair for a centerpiece...

[itachisaysusuck]

...It's a fucking chair.....on the table. ಠ_ಠ

[PersianOlive]

Has anyone noticed that cocktails are really the only thing she makes any good? o.0

[prettypurplepenguin]

Oh dear sweet heavenly craft stores, it's like my Grandmother's attic vomited on a chair.

[domino771]

Comedy.

[supafly345]

Grandma's yardsale theme is only one of our many table themes at Fanta-eat.

(disclaimer: cannot actually be used to serve food on)

[xxBoogiepunkxx]

keep it simple

[samisyosam]

Because what kind of person expects to see or talk to the people sitting across the table from them at dinner?

[dounitsi]

How much do you reckon she got paid for this?

How much do you reckon she got paid to make drinks and put a chair on a fucking table?

[wespolly]

"excuse me, can someone pass the butter, please?"

"I could if Miss had-vodka-a-lot didn't put this ugly-ass chair in the way."

[misterkiller89]

her tablescaps...it's like she robbed the sales bin at the dollar store....

[NeonAngel1997]

Is this for real? How.... how..... does she have a tv show??? is it for real or comedy?

[onde046]

i don't think i want to see an "antique" chair on my dining table. I want to see my family/ guests darn it, not a chair! How did she come up with all this so called 'great ideas'?

[coolgreyoneabby]

My favorite episode was where she prepared a "picnic" and says to keep it simple and sweet while she set up a Persian rug outside and had a chandelier hanging from a tree.

[cooolness3]

OMG LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOO

[idrinkdrpepper]

Get that chair off the table.

[dantheman931]

The worst part is, that cocktail doesn't look half bad, even with enough alcohol to stun a goddamn rhino. Then she pisses all over herself by sticking a fucking chair on the table. How about a toilet seat on the kitchen sink, why the fuck not?

[peachy6969]

What I wanna know is how her "1/3" vodka fills half the glass!?

[goddessmelanisia]

@peachy6969 The glass is tapered. it's smaller at the bottom, so it come half way up, but isn't really taking up half the volume.

[goddessmelanisia]

@peachy6969 The glass is tapered. it's smaller at the bottom, so it comes half way up, but isn't really taking up half the volume.

[12lfme12]

this woman is a raging alcoholic

[nena505]

How will the guest be able to see each other with that chair right in the middle, well i guess they would be too smashed to even notice.

[jax121467]

She shows you how make a "super simple" meal on a small budget.....then wants us to spend $175 on shit to pile on the table. And only a psycho would use a CHAIR as a centerpiece.

[xsuzheartx]

I really admire Sandra Lee for practically raising her five siblings herself. However, I thought the point of Semi-Homemade was cost effective, simplified cooking--doesn't spending an hour on an elaborate "tablescape" for a single meal kind of negate that?

[bnj0003]

"Tablescapes" my ass. Why the fuck does this crazy bitch think we want all that shit on the table? There's barely any room left for her nasty ass, semi-edible food.

[loafaries]

How are you supposed to talk to your guests, nonetheless put food on the table with that big fucking chair precariously balanced in the centre?

[ando1135]

Her show is like a 10 car collision, you can't help but look at the travesty.

[stlbetty]

She has officially lost her damn mind. She gets drunk and puts on a crappy dinner jacket, then she puts a filthy old chair on top of the table. I love how she sounds proud of the "ratty gold fringe" that she stapled to the chair. And what was the point of wrapping fake flowers around it?  She confuses and irritates me, but I can't quit watching. Curse you Sandra Lee!

[idwoof]

She putting a f-ing chair on the table?! Crazy skank....

[itchyego9]

Sandra thinks sh thinks outside the box, but she is just really inside the box itself.

[theassholetoby12]

keep it simple, keep it smart, keep it sweet and always keep it alcoholic.

[PTZ72]

Where's the velvet painting of Fat Elvis?

[raulrocks]

I hate the word "tablescape"

[lotusfae]

She never looks as excited as she does during "cocktail time."

[ashtoncruz]

The sad thing is my best friend is her new fucking assistant, (yup I un-friended her on face book)

[brianandsharon07]

You insult alcohol, and my people...lol....

[Nikkirose071]

Can you imagine her guests faces when they walk in?!

LMAO!

[adr2001us]

Of course if you wanted to use 3/3 of vodka, you could.

[buttercupbaby16]

Umm i try and stick up for her because sometimes she does have good ides but this one...wow

[CatStina]

She spends more time and money on the "tablescape" than she does on the food!

[Jellybeaner1991]

I will never forget this video.

[ladychewbacca]

She shops at 7-11 or the nearest gas station for ingredients, then decorates with chairs and fringes from a thrift store (looks like her jacket came from the same thrift store). nothing wrong with thrift stores, but heck she's on a TV show!

[framptonorchablis]

@ladychewbacca Sandra Lee is my new role model.

A fucking chair in the middle of the table. This is almost as great as her shot glass Christmas tree.

[AceofHadeon]

Her clips make me think one thing: Is this for real, or is she spoofing Martha Stew? Srsly, a chair on the table?

[MrSoulgina]

this is, perhaps, the most amazing thing in the world. It's like, if you are ever doubting anything, just watch this- and the mind-f*ck wipes away all sorrow. God, I love Sandra Lee.

[ShampooEater]

the chair on the table is comedic gold. literally. 

[ShampooEater]

There is a chair. On her table. That is genius.

[vissi87]

How can she honestly say "keep it simple" while standing in front of that ridiculously complicated monstrosity of a 'tablescape'??

[theramenninja]

i'd lose my appetite if i saw a ratty chair spraypainted w/gross fringe hanging off of it

[Nikkirose071]

@theramenninja HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

[von8lou]

this bumpkin actually makes me want to stop drinking!!!..which I will NOT! :-)

[framptonorchablis]

@von8lou That bumpkin is the First Lady of New York state and could buy and sell your ass.

[von8lou]

@framptonorchablis you are a retard!!!!!

[fifilaru]

this is not a joke, which I find really sad

[smy1989]

i cannot believe this!!! she spends SO LITTLE effort in COOKING, but does SO MUCH for her DINNER TABLE!! this is what i call an A CLASS PRIME SHALLOW FAKE BITCH!!

[Arcus2658]

Category: Comedy

Indeed.

[RoozleRay]

"I found this great antique chair and completely ruined it with a can of gold spray-paint"

[CuervoBlack06]

Is this bitch serious? How many Highballs did she have before coming up with the idea of using a butt ugly chair as a centerpiece?

[alexsilreg]

with this queen of fake, its ALWAYS cocktail time

[Keevin80021]

the only thing SIMPE was the god damn nectar

[1214gaia]

"And then look, I got all this ratty old fringe and stapled it on here." What a wackadoo -- you can't make this shit up!

[Harpiieboy]

Brilliant, a chair in the middle of the table, that way you will never see your guests disgusted grins !

[MrJerrymiles]

okay this lady needs triple a

[firstjeneration]

that tablescape is so tacky.

[ZoeSquared21]

I can just envision those sweet little notes:

"Dear Susan,

You are so sweet.

Are you going to finish that cocktail?

Love, and Sandy."

[thewintersongs]

Why does she always have peaches floating in her drinks?

More importantly, who the hell is insane enough to put a chair on the table? Oh wait, Sandra Lee is.

[jeremiah168lms]

Oh my...

[chisteso]

Makes me think about Martha Stuart and her "wine tasting". She always filled her glass, and never missed a drop. Always rosy cheeked and faded at the end of those shows. It's a good thing :D lol

[decafeine]

sandra lee... it's like eating poptarts with a fork and knife: you're not fooling anyone, and why even bother?

[Trashfished]

@decafeine She bothers because she gets paid a SHITLOAD of money to do this!

[andrewjamesmacleod]

Italian food is simple, nourishing, and delicious. Their design is elegant.

Sandra owes all Italians a big, fat apology.

... and that dinner jacket is one of the cheapest looking things i've ever seen. i feel your guests would be more impressed with FOOD than place cards and a fucking chair on the table.

[mishtastic]

i am going to eat my dinner with a chair in the middle of the table.... oh ya beautiful

[cantavoidtrite]

I wonder what Martha thinks of her.

[RaineSageFan]

You can save $3 buying lame store bought icing instead of making your own and then you can spend $50 dollars on an ugly chair, spraypaint for said chair, silk flowers for your chair, things that resemble plates and napkins, teeny little envelopes and fun gold stickers

[animepop2]

Sandra Hoe can't cook worth a damn, but she can hook up some mix drinks. Look at her peach Great Depression era cocktail. lol Looks like everything but the kitchen sink. lmao

[PillowBooty]

I doubt she even went to the craft store and made that crap. What! are we all gonna bake for the president?! we don't need all that dumb stuff on the table! And no Sandra Lee you don't have people coming over because they know that they won't be able to eat your crappy cocktails/food when there's a fricken chair on the table. wth...

[Tapepsi]

Holy sh*t!!! Only Sandra Lee would spray paint a chair and put it on the table. This milf is out of control I love it. haha.

[innercitysuperman]

food network keeps her on for the LULZ.

[sakuraknight]

thought it was a great chair she bought? why bother designing it? o__o

[alefaye]

that frozen peach slice floating in that drink kind of reminds me of featus

[electrocibertronico]

This video proves that no matter how much money you could have, sense of style cant be bought!!!

[sandysurap]

THAT's a great tablescape?!! It looks like post-holiday clearance section of dollar store threw up on the table.

[thebarstool]

Hahaha I can't believe this is real.

[TAXavier]

I want to stick my penis in her mouth

[amesguy515]

@TAXavier Dip it in vodka first.

[Karmillina]

yay for table decorations no one will ever use again!

[TOstevo]

A freakin' chair?!!! How are people supposed to see each other and have a conversation with a chair in the middle of the table?

[toothbeaver]

she was sprinting back to the kitchen with that booze she cant wait to pour herself a nice tall one and deep fry some bacon sandwiches. Cocktail TIMEE! you fucking lush! My tablescape here features a fucking antique barbers chair I had hoisted up with a crane that i then spray painted fuscia and glued macaroni to it. I'm fuckin INSANE and the transition was SSSUper SSimple. Excuse me I need some more vodka with my JOOOWZ. Someone put this dog out of her misery since her vodka diet isnt

[lovefordante]

The tablescape would have been half way decent if it wasn't FOR THE DAMN CHAIR

[blugreen123]

is this b*tch for real?!

[blugreen123]

@morrowrail

i do that for humor

[morrowrail]

@blugreen123 You can swear on the internet. You don't need to put asterisks in the word bitch.

[schnartin]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

[screwdestiny]

Oh man, I laughed out loud at the CHAIR in the middle of the table! And she made it so ugly, too!! LOL!

To boot, that dinner jacket was awful. I guess at least she matched.

[deusabscondidum]

I want to know what this mysterious "the craft store" is that she always mentions. Were I to actually want to create one of these monstrosities, I might actually want to find the store she went to...

[luvroxette95]

Remember folks it's all in the details. LMAO!!! She's a joke!

[trtltat2]

She reminds me of Hyacinth Bucket off of Keeping Up Appearances! I bet everyone in the neighborhood rolls their eyes when she invites them to one of her dinners. Also what does she do with all her tablescapes after she uses them, just throws them away? Trashy McTrashster!

[OMGitsaBLAST]

so i'm supposed to be writing an essay, i've been up since yesterday doing it. It's 6 am. But thanks to this niftly little break i feel like I can go till 9am (which is when the library opens so i can print my essay).

[vfcisnumber1]

she does more table shit and drinks than being a cook

[Weltschmertz2020]

eggs and chairs go together. who knew?

[xxdogofgleexx]

And, and!

They're both SOOPER Italian! (?!)

[darkangelle]

LOOOLLL!!!!!

You're comment is WIN!

[mandwcheerleader]

hahahha lmfao BEST TABLESCAPE YET

who the hell puts a chair on their table?!

[keywestWTF]

Thank god she found some "ratty old fringe" who knows what it would have looked like ...

[72314500]

this woman is pure trash and has no taste. how is this allowed on tv?

[v0zbox]

Clearly Sandra doesn't enjoy speaking to, or seeing, the person sitting on the opposite side of the table. I suppose you could employ this "tablescape" strategically if your family is experiencing an internal feud of some sort.

[goncack]

High class white trash entertaining at it's finest!

[FM897]

The star of the dinner table should be the food, not the "tablescape." Ridiculous!!

[1814Brandan]

As shitty as her food is, it SHOULD be about the tablescape!!

Look at this bony, drunk-ass heifer.

[iMIKK]

A FACKING CHAIR!?

[Evange]

Isnt that just a belini with added vodka?

[DogAmongMen]

I think it's shit.

[turtlecrackers]

You know, I was taught that if you're going to have a table scape or any kind of decoration on your table, it shouldn't be so tall that your guests can't see over it without having to crane their necks (ten inches to a foot is more than enough). A chair is definitely too tall for that. I hope she doesn't expect people to eat with that thing threatening to fall over them.

[vichyssoise80]

I think the tablescapes are unnecessary...lol. I appreciate her intention to liven up the dinner table to entertain guests, but if that chair in the middle of the table's in the way....keep it simple: don't do a tablescape.lol

Oh, I almost forgot. it's cocktail tiiime!

[toshibaaah]

she is so out of line with this shit! i love her so much

[hawaiian2991]

Wow! That table is a fuckin mess

[GirlParts]

My eyes, MY EYES!!!

[poohbear5050]

is the vodka really neces...wait.. it's sandra lee of course she's gonna put vodka in it. way to drown out the flavor of the persecco (spelling?)

and what's the deal with ruining an antique chair by spray painting it and then putting it on the table, you sit in chairs you crazy bitch

[Elpege]

Just imagine attending her "dinner party". Sit with middle aged crazy drunks along with a fucking spray painted chair on the table and famous Kwanzaa cake for the "dessert" ... All the while having Sarah fret about dressed like a stripper ... priceless memory I'm sure.

[grosslawn]

Good Lord! She's such a freak.

[Chinaboy80]

She is fabulous!

[Kevindl1985]

"I'd love to pass you the salt but Miss Cocktail over here put a chair in the middle of the fucking table"

[sacremende]

pretty much my favorite youtube comment ever.

[Kevindl1985]

Thanks for the compliment on my comment lol.

[ComradeCanadia]

@Kevindl1985 This is the best comment on youtube.

[HustonShcarr]

I love how she said she spray painted an antique chair.  That table looks a mess

[Valebare]

She needs alcohol to get inspiration for her "tablescapes"

[Ryer1234]

That is one seriously alcoholic drink...She must be drunk when she does her show.

[dtv2031]

How in the world does that tablescape "keep it simple"???

[heywellwearit]

it's always cocktail time in sandra lee world.

[fallonvalo]

all you'd taste is alcohol. there's probably bailey's irish cream coming out of her nip nips.

[astrangeone]

Wow. This woman is tacky - beyond tacky!

There is a fucking chair on the table.

The drink looks good although - probably too sweet although.

[tobria]

Who wants a damn chair in the middle of the table obstructing their view of the guests across!? Unless she liquors them all up and they dont give a damn! =)

[fallonvalo]

of course they're liquored up, they're at sandra lee's house!

[Michelle2815CV]

CAN SHE STOP DRINKING WINE FOR A WHILE

[BlueKyne]

Nope! The producers asked her to cut down on the drinking but Sandra pitched a fit, smashed a $100,000 camera so they let her keep the booze in the show.

[Michelle2815CV]

WAH?!?!?!

[1814Brandan]

Oh, BlueKyne, please, oh please let this be true.

[Michelle2815CV]

yes...... THIS WOMAN IS CRAZY! 2 parts gin 3 parts gin WHY DON'T SHE ADD THE WHOLE BOTTLE LOL

[BlueKyne]

Who says she doesn't, Michelle2815CV?!

I have a feeling half the shows budget goes towards lots of alcohol. Cocktail Time is taken very seriously by Sandra!

[Michelle2815CV]

Agreed! Sandra Lee really takes CAHKTALE TAHM very seriously....

[BlueKyne]

Ah.....I kinda wish it were so, too. But, before this spins horribly out of control, that was just a bit of comedic fantasy on my part. I honestly have no axe to grind against Sandra but I love to laugh at the fact she's a booze hound with a show. But I bet there is some dirt out there on her that comes close to her what I come up with.

I for one would love to see her go ape shit and smash the set of her show in a drunken rage! That's must see TV! (^_^)

[BlueKyne]

Sandra's hubby: "Dear, why is the kids chair in the middle of the table and why is covered in crappy craft store mange?"

Sandra: "UUURRRP! Is...pretty. Why don't you touch me any more?!"

Front door slams shut, sound of squeeling tires outside. Sandra then grabs wine bottle and chugs it like a Pesi.

End scene, fade to credits.

[1814Brandan]

LOL, if she had kids, I could totally see this happening. But she's mercifully childless!

[BlueKyne]

Well, thank goodness for her dry box! Her children would have run away from her drunk madness long ago, if she had any!

I bet she's an easy lay, all that booze removes her shyness!

[1814Brandan]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[hippiechick4545]

she used a chair as the centerpiece? ?

[dedbusted]

She's no Ina Garten, that's for sure. She sure could take some lessons.

[jppuertorico85]

THIS.BITCH.

[babsalaba]

"ratty old fringe."

Yep, that makes it klassy.

[bos78]

You know this is a fancy occasion because she covered her boobs up, all classy like.

[elbonia17]

eeeeeets cocktail taaahm

[SCHarmony]

nice drink puuuuuuuuuuuck tablescape*

[MercedesBnz]

I wanna do her SOO bad!!!

[cranberrysauce7]

me toooo

[behindhzleyes18]

I LOVE YOUR DESCRIPTION.

[red2138]

yes lets put an ugly chair in the center of the table along with the rest of the CRAFT STORE!!