TWITTER TWITS! | T-Time | tristopiaTV

[DTonesXD]

LOL parking fine!

[VerifiablyNoticible]

really good joke at begininnnnning

[Mrdoctorwhomad]

I can't stop going on these talk shows and talking shit!

[BrandonTeixeira]

your a dick!!!!!!!!!!!!

[redsommer]

hahah i can already dirve and i'm 13

[kikitikiboom]

I read this in a newspaper - "My boyfriend is my long-lost brother". Eww,

[yourwastingtim3]

lool i never knew you could get a partnership with youtube if you live in the united kingdom :P & dont wear gap things :P Gay And Proud :P sorry

[skullboy10001]

help hitler is back

[Ghwms]

'Only child's father touches her mother's daughter'

[MegaRedHead18]

3:36- The dalek's are gonna kill us all!

[wiserman169]

say twitter in an american accent

[heartbreakermdp]

"well done. thank you." well done!!

[deathnoteshadow]

NAW you have A MOVEING BOX!!!!!

YEPIDIDODA!

my bf is a NAGAHOLIC

[stykzpro]

annie, age 16: I HAD SEX WITH A MAN! AND NOW IM APPARENTLY PREGNANT!! I BLAME THE MAN!!

[raccooneyes55]

Hm. Twitter=epic fail.

[arafitos]

fmylife... that's all you need to know

[AlicexMarilyn]

I feel so bad for the poor little teddy bear. You need to get him a friend.

[jammyjasmina247]

you can find alot of examples on jeremy kyle, some of those people seriously have mental issues

[bukwurm16]

Allons-y, Alonso.

[MegaRedHead18]

@bukwurm16

Omfg! Do you watch Doctor Who?

[bukwurm16]

@MegaRedHead18 yes of course I do; have you seen the new season??

[MegaRedHead18]

@bukwurm16

Of course! But I still think David Tenant Was better than Matt Smith. My fave episode in the new series so far is Vampires In Venice.

[bukwurm16]

@MegaRedHead18 True I agree with that but Matt Smith is making the Doctor his own which is pretty cool; I haven't seen the new eps yet, :'( I know I can watch it online but I am trying to wait for it to air in the US so i can watch it in better quality and without buffer errors.

[kikitikiboom]

@bukwurm16 You are literally the only AMerican I know of who likes or has even heard of Doctor Who! Good on you!

[bukwurm16]

@kikitikiboom Thanks I don't know very many myself but i know a few here and there mostly people I've become friends with online who also watch it.

[ThatGirlOnGallifrey]

"I went to the cupboard for biscuits and there were none left!"

[13cheesus14]

lolol

[Chiefosaur]

I slept with my grandmother and granddaughter on the same night, my wife says shes never felt so left out "

[Chiefosaur]

"My left my son in a skip, 10 years on he's back for answers"

[faraoseth]

this one's real from a Dutch tv show:i "temporarily" exchanged goats with my neighbour,and now he doesn't want to give mine back!

[videogames2201]

lol

[legomanminifigure]

The crops...their.there...WITHERIN­G

FarmvilleNO

[hollymarieFTW]

actually it would be "they're" you used the two wrong ones haha.

[MrShahar99]

"My friend left her friend (that I hate) at my house. I need him to get out! HELP! he's drinking all my beer!!"

[TheRetna]

cool show

[EvaCarolGarloff]

"I don't know who the father is and i am only 14 and the daddies are all about 20-40 and i have been having sex since i was 10" (this was actually a real one it was on maurey)

[lasthumankind]

"I think my husband masturbates when i leave to work" makes me rofl all the time

[InfiniteWisdoms]

@lasthumankind lmao

[AgentZombieMan]

I'm stuck between youtube shows! HELP!

[Emilsejer]

Hmmm good question.. oh i got one " why are the guy TristopiaTV so much like Raywilliamjhonson" :P sry just had to comment that ..

[darkamemories]

"My mother is my sister, who apparently slept with my father after being raped by my older brother while he got out from my mother's...

Help, I got a family problem."

[BooBooBetsy]

I get horny around women,

fml.

[TheFragrantFred]

i dont get it, he is gai, no ??

[TheTimewaster12]

I got fired, but I don't have a Job

Is cat fake?

[DollFaceALaMode]

This channel reminds me of another youtuber. Hmmmm......

[HartUndSteil]

"I want to get paid at work even though I do not have a job."

wtf? or

"I have eight children but I don't know where they are."

[KindaAlrightShow]

"My wife stole my blender so I stole her car and crashed it into an appliance store. She works at the appliance store."

[BoomABomb]

"My Black friend just joined the KKK and is now trying to kill me."

[Luburium]

AND I SAID THANK YOU?!!?

[Tinasanislame]

"My husband had an affair with my dead mother, and raped my duck!"

[bazzieboy]

I was hanging naked and upside down in the christmass tree and instead of helping she walked away!

Better anyway, the laxative started to kick in...

[LivLahfLo]

reppin the Gap classic reject Gap Outlet hoodie everyone is obsessed with.

note. i work at the Gap. and those hoodies suck and they are ugly.

fake and gay

[fishinlouie]

your show is a horrible rip off of ray william johnson, just so you know. And T-time is a gay ass slogan.

[Bestoffbarca]

true =D

[YFanGirl1613]

troll

[Killsey51]

I like the Peep Show poster :D do you get any of your comedy styles from Mitchell and Webb? You're quite similar to them :)

[MakutaRus]

"My Son and his girlfriend are both sixteen and the are having a child, but we are not quit sure who the dad is."

[MyNameIsNotCraig]

KKK Took my baby away!

[Radac2008]

"My husband's cheating me with my son!"

[AirplaneInHell]

"My husband died after I sat on him."

[am159006]

you are hilarious

[LittleXRepoXFan]

"My husband is cheating on me with this brother" xD

[SimS3xmoviesxSimS3]

''My husband saved me, when our house was on fire, i want a divorce, our house is ruined!!''

(Don't get this, its partly real~

the wife was asleep when the husband was coming home from work, the house caught on fire, and the husband came home and straight away went up to save his wife. When he got her out and got her to hospital, the house was ruined, because the fire brigade was late. the wife was obsessed with the house. Thats why she wants a divorce, cause he could of saved the house.aswell

[opticwind]

"My friend can't stop hitting it with this slut! He's like Chris Brown at a Rhianna-look-a-like convention...hit hit hit hit!"

[Demonforsakenangel]

"My friend has a father thats also a uncle thats also a non relation to the family that has also had 6 kids with my friend" XD

[littlemisskittt]

i'm having freds child *shudder*

[LunaMoonStellaStar]

"My husband lost his job to a younger man. Does that say something to our neighbors? Because we've got DREADFUL neighbors! And you know what else, this guys is actually a better replacement then him! Would my neighbor react if I divorced for this new man?"

"I feel so terrible! Last Halloween I used rum to on our pumpkin and a squirrel went and got himself a hangover! Does that make me a bad person? But the Squirrel died! And now it's all my fault an I don't even know if I can go on!"

[nico95130]

you are very good dude, I subscribed :)

[TwilightFan82]

I fell and couldn't get up!...And I didn't have life alert!

[HurricanVD]

"Help! Every time I close my eyes I can see nothing at all!"

[mad4vibe]

Lovin the new haircut!

[lenaslife]

"i had 14 children and didn't even know it"

[GoolasRange]

That bear is fake and gay.

[SodaBoatCaptain]

"My husband is selling ice cream in the middle of freaking January and its ruining our finances!"

[HyperJill909]

E.Q. My wife didn't cut off the crust on my sammich so I hit her and hey! here we are now!

[sweetgurl00100]

"I just got married to the love of my life. But I just found out thats we're cousins. hm. It really sucks that I'm expecting twins."

;D

[fireblaze772]

"I think I'm a hermaphrodite. How does one know if they're a hermaphrodite?"

[ryumariscal]

fake and gay

[tristopiaTV]

Aww thx

[patrickloughlin]

@tristopiaTV why read twitter then if it bugs you that much ??? hmmmmmm

[danipingu27]

"My dad married his cousin..which means my great aunt is my nan and my 2nd cousin is my mum, EPIC FAIL"

[sandgropper76]

That teddy looks slightly postal.

[1LittleLilith]

"My friend took a pair of my shoes and she does not want to return them"

[Elizzyrules]

i was watching mory (for some odd reason)and this guy wouldnt help with this new born baby (2 month old) because he had a DREAM that the mother was having sex ( lol) with a white man. And the baby wasn't his....... if u saw the baby it was black....lol

[KariSeregon]

"My boyfriend threatened to leave me for playing WoW, but he plays COD4MW2 all day!"

[waddlingfree]

go trissy its your birthday not for real real just for play play!

[StormyStuff]

"Love deprived teddy threatens world domination, whos to blame?"

[aglobalboy]

well at least i know now what not to watch anymore.

[Nannirk]

"I'm convinced I was adopted from another planet, but my parents are denying it.. I'm green damnit!"

[rprasad47]

really a teddy bear Tris hahaha

[peterthestrange]

SCRUFFY FACE!!!! <3

[alantransfat]

man sees jesus in a rainbow?

[xX0Jota0Xx]

lol i rofled at both jokes

[ServantOfYinepu]

Um, I need help caus I kinda turn into a wolf every full moon, and da it kinda suck and stuff, and I ate my friend and then his parents seued me and stuff.

[chessyman555555555]

My brother gets paid for touching peoples boobs.....

[chessyman555555555]

I just died...

[ninjaFOURhire]

my husband, a lumberjack, wants to divorce me to marry a tree.

man allegedly discovers unicorn

my wife of 40 years cheated on me with a farm animal

man saves baby from blazing inferno, then is divorced because he is an arsonist.

[artemis1041]

My son keeps masturbating.... to himself.

[AlexandraGates]

"My husband thinks I am so unnattractive that he has tried to have sex with the only other person living in my home. That would be my son."

Gasps!!! Dirty, dirty!

[JustCdhin]

I just saved 15% on car insurance by switching to nationwide!

[RoseKatana]

"My aunt's sister's cousin raped a penguin and didn't bake it any brownies for it's birthday."

"My baby's daddy won't pay child support cuz i have a penis!"

[MargaretMcKissic]

i donated $10 to haiti by txting!

[mizz3m1ly]

i love when people use their fame for good:)

so sweet of you to encourage your fans to donate.

[trema006]

my girlfriend had 6 babies with other men behind my back!

[jjkimmey2002]

Tyra Banks, on her talk show actually had an episode about a woman with two vaginas.

[trema006]

@jjkimmey2002 that would be handy!

[tristinet33192]

"My parrot taught me a plethora of new words yesterday. My parrot was born yesterday."

[dutchFrankie14]

"My dad came home sober last night, and he just kissed my mom instead of hitting her... My dad really needs help before it get's worse!!"

[123irongiant]

"my best friend is my adopted baby's unse and my sisters ex-husband and my my mums nephew"

[Chizmoz]

talk shows are stupid, like,

''i ordered a cheeseburger without cheese and that woman gave me a hamburger!!''

[eyeballgoop]

My boyfriend doesn't want to be with me anymore because my internal organs fly around the house causing all sorts of havoc on every full moon.

[Laaauuuurrrrreeeeeen]

my mum ate my pet penguin and now I am without a life partner forever

[tomo0594]

My racist wife just gave birth to a mixed race child!

[beckybrowns]

im having trouble with my sex life.. my dad is just getting too old.

[13mike11]

how'd u make it freeze like that

[princ3ssrose]

OMfrogs pond u cut ur hair

[poppycorn146]

My husband made me lose the game. I want to divorce him and having him imprisoned... for life.

[luv2dance4u4life]

my girlfriend cheated on me... with her cousin.

[pumpvitaminwater]

lol the weirdest thing on a talk show.

well there was this one chick scared of cotton balls and a nother scared of oranges it was hilarious

[TheCrazyMir]

my mother disowned me and then adopted my best friend while simultaneously having sex with my ex boyfriend's grandfather.

[HarryEvansTV]

'Will I Survive?' That's the best I can think of! :)

[smurfyjessx]

my friend dosnt tweet to me. But she will tweet to my mum WHYY?

[MimiButtimer]

I just lost the game!

[whatdeyecallher]

@MimiButtimer DAMN IT YOU MADE ME LOSE THE GAME

[misterrobertpattz]

I lost the game ._.

[MimiButtimer]

@whatdeyecallher I'M REALLY SORRY!(wait why are we shouting?):P

[whatdeyecallher]

@MimiButtimer my caps was on and I didn't realise! :L :$

[MimiButtimer]

haha okay i thought you were giving out to me and i was thinking Oh noes! :D

[tristopiaTV]

Lost too

[mrkeithmendoza]

my wife , ran off to BE with my MOM , WTF. MY MOM .

[DaveDS123]

"Is my wife sleeping with my penis? Lie Detector Results" :)

[yakyakyuckyuck]

I like how no one saw that was Jordan on your computer screen...it is..right? Jordan Volness..oh they did, and I just didn't feel like reading all the comments =D

[cgkitti]

Haha, these jokes were terribly cheesy this time...in a good one. But it made me cringe a little. :)

[jackh1992]

I mistook the lyrics 'I wanna make love to ya baby' and I'm in a lot of trouble.

[tristopiaTV]

LOL

[BravoHotelTV]

I think my dad's my dog? DNA Test!

[inovence]

My Girlfriend Gave Me Chlamidia...And I Thought It Was A Girls Name.

[narcissism0]

REUNITED: General Public and Myspace

[sgh95]

my little sister stole my pants and pee'd on them, giving them to my older brother who masterbated with them, thats right, with them!! Causing me to go on a killing in my town, killing all civilization near me! What do you think i should do?

[welshboi82]

I had a sex change operation but now I miss my "doublie-doo".

[CR4ZYPRSN]

my step brothers dog murdered my cat! 35 years later! why wont uu apologise?

[TheGalor]

love the show

[ollierodgers1]

poo

[7abriel]

"My lesbian sister had a sex change and penis graft so that she can sleep with men. Help Tris!"

[Pascalliej]

i love the accent haah xd

[millymollymandy16]

I'm a T-mate?

Well you're an Mx3'er and yes I can say twitter in an english accent!!!! MWHAHA

So what are you up too then...

[tristopiaTV]

Isn't an MX3 a car? :P

Haha I'm up to being cold. :)

[millymollymandy16]

Mx3'er is a millymollymandy16 viewer lol.

And its gotten warmer here. Its like 9C in Plym. YAY

[tristopiaTV]

I love the way YouTubers make up names for their subscribers! :D T-Mates, Mx3'ers, the forum, pogotribe, nerdfighters!

[pageyd]

my mam wants me to join the cult she was raped at.

this really was an episode of jezza klye

[ThePrototype8]

im addicted to losing the game......I JUST LOST IT!!!

[pageyd]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[meggegan14]

"my brother and sister are really my parents..i'm also in love with my dog harry"

[DarkMatterProd003]

Guy1: WHAT THE HELL!? I PAYED 10 BUCKS FOR THAT!!!

Guy2: ... For what?

[Grimwoodsalvi]

"A Midget Tranny Hooker Ran Off With My Boyfriend & Now He's Pregnant Because He Used To Be A She But I Think I Still Love Him/Her!!! HELP!!!"

[TheHailification]

I have so many allergies, I literally have to live in a bubble. No joke.

[moviechic07]

"My baby was kidnapped by a Kangaroo"...?

[killanator21]

I'm trying to stop my alcoholism without hampering my enjoyment of alcohol. Does anyone have an experience similar to this?

[decuadie]

I forgot how to sit down

[cbp743]

"I'm terrified of pickles!"

Amazingly, I didn't make that up. On the talk show, they were like, "we're going to help you get over your fear" and then they chased her around with a pickle while she cried and ran away.

[kittykittykatkat85]

I'm addicted to YouTube and have a massive crush on you tube personalities, Tris included, and my boyfriend is threatening to leave me unless I go to rehab!

[1ucks1ut]

I've lost my contact lens. Now I have to buy some more.

[TheJRWalker]

my teddy bear raped me. now we are both pregnate! im a guy

[Grubsnerad]

the kool aid man broke through my wall and stole all 600 of my babies and my meth so im divorcing my wife for extra cash. sha! do you love it?

[greyday741]

"A dingo ate my baby"

[1kashbo]

i had sex with brothers girlfriend thinking it was her twin sister and now he would not talk to me

[chessyman555555555]

My dad just had babies...

[passionx4xmusic]

"I had a clone made, which ran off with my husband to live in Australia and become a famous actress"

[Nomming]

"My husband beats me when I buy skim milk."

"My baby daddy is my daddy."

"I smell fish."

[luckiigal]

I caught my mum making out with the hot pool cleaner and went to live with him in Italy.

[hangingwithNadine]

"I just wanted to fit in so badly that I stopped eating, sleeping and ended up losing myself"

Best I can do... I'm not clever.

[RedHeadExitting]

"i ate fast food and gained weight!!!"

" i'm a serial killer!! ooh srry, i killed your uncle, that means you're next on the list"

"I was cloned and i lost my clone"

" i don't know why i'm here"

"ooohhb ye-aaah" *a la kool aid man"

[1ns4inproductions]

my girlfreind is being honest with me HELP!!

[LBGRLatHEART]

well, um, i take showers in the nude! help!

[Schmauztown]

Me and my new husband are vegans-but every time we... do a little horizontal dancing he claims he smells bacon after! Now he wants a divorce!

[thepappytube]

Surely you're already seventeen? Or have you just not passed your test yet?

[BeeBrooklyn]

My my dad cheated on my mom... with a guy. It happened to me... it can happen to anyone. lol

[ILeikToDanceWifPantz]

To Tris's teddybear whose name I've forgotten: I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND C:

[antisplint]

i get aroused while watching T-time so my girlfriend left me. Is that an issue?

[i8luigi]

My daughter gives better blowjobs than me!

[grandslamSt]

I got home from work one day and my husband had filled our swimming pool with fish, native plants and turtles!! I want a divorse until he cleans it!!

[CourtneyIsLegit]

My boyfriend wants to break up with me...I ate the last cupcake.