Bill Maher - Be More Cynical Part 5

[eldorado61guy]

Clinton was as bad as the rest.

[logitechgamering]

@eldorado61guy yea and bush was smart

[eldorado61guy]

@logitechgamering I didn't say Bush was smart. I said 'Clinton was as bad as the rest'. "The rest' includes Bush. Or are you saying you think Bush was smart ?

[logitechgamering]

@eldorado61guy i think you need to look up the definition of sarcasm

[eldorado61guy]

@logitechgamering No, I don't.

[Darkknight9955]

the only interesting person beside the Legend George Carlin.

[go8smosh]

@Darkknight9955 Try Bill Hicks, he's another great mind.

[gbellavable]

these cynical vids got increasingly less funny as they progressed. he would have been smart to stop at 1, maybe 2.

[cyndish1]

He deserves a standing O. Lazy mofos.

[bermudaguy1]

It's a bit late to add another comedian now, but Sam Kinison was great! Maher is so fuckin funny!!

[madjack18]

I like how his John Lennon is from Yorkshire/Canada lol

[karite36]

Global warming is normal, however. Remember the "Little Ice age" that ran up until the late 1800s, the one that caused the river Thames to freeze several years in a row, so thick festivals were held on it. We are coming of of a sever cold spell, that's why we are warming slightly. This was real research. I love Bill Maher though.

[candymanego]

Case in point!

[shootnmove]

And larry the cable guy is legally allowed to be called a comedian because ?

[sniok1]

thank you mr president!!!

[95Ingy]

FUCK BILL MAHER! HE' S A LAZY FUCKING COMIC WITH BAD MORALS FOR OUR YOUTH! SOMETHING LIKE THIS SHOULD NOT BE IN THE ACCESS OF CHILDREN!

Which is what a cunt might say...

[wxonwxoff]

@95Ingy ,You are using words like "fuck", and "cunt" to citicize BM and saying he is bad morals for youths,LOL... You are a hypocritical prick, I hope you'll never have kids . Learn from your parents' mistakes ,use birth control !

[killingjack]

@wxonwxoff Try again.

[95Ingy]

@wxonwxoff Oh my god, dude. Do you have no sense of irony or sarcasm?

[95Ingy]

@wxonwxoff Even at the end of my shit I said "Which is what a cunt might say"

Dumbass

[wxonwxoff]

@95Ingy, if only what you say make any sense. Have an adult proof read what you write before posting it idiot. "the end of myshit" ??? Was that an attempt to make a direct translation into English? Were you home schooled, lol...

[fagand24]

@95Ingy ur gay

[em129836]

@95Ingy You + Firing Squad = Victory

[TheRealSmacker]

Please stop stealing George Carlin´s jokes.

[Copper4head]

I agree with Bill Maher; Global Warming cannot possibly be good for people or the environment at this point.

[kylem1112]

@rasviasca Explain.

[polenton]

hey guys! the only way to salvation is through Jesus Christ!

[FallinSheep]

@polenton says who?

[polenton]

@FallinSheep jaja didn't you watch the video?

[MajorHeadRush]

Yeah well just for the record theres proof that Kennedy never cheated with anyone... funny it may be... if you believe the bs...

[vaiboy55]

he is such a clever and amazing comedian....... and he came up with "RELIGULOUS" just brilliant!

[studioworks1990]

Wow, that whas the best stand up I ever saw and I have seen almost all George Carlin and Bill Maher stand ups here in YouTube. I don't quote others comedians because these two are the greatest.

[Catcherintherye11111]

pussy makes the world go round.

[manidar1977]

Like all great comedians, he came into a very nice rythem after the first 10 minutes. Every great comedian has this ability. You see them getting off with some pet jokes and then they settle in nice and easy and then they are unstoppable. great work.

[jey5636]

Kennedy's getting Marilyn Monroe, and Clinton's getting the chunky chick who brings in the mail.

[SGB102288]

ghettochu, thank you for uploading this

[Copper4head]

I love how in the last clip he said that Jesus was/is not & will never be a republican.

Thank you Bill!

vote this up if you agree.

[GoblinsnHobbits]

@Copper4head

i agree, but "vote if you agree" posts are vapid idiocy, so i voted you down :D

[mcren1984]

yeah, the lewinksy thing was important and breaking news cause this was the first dick sucking in history and its something new so we have to savour....fuckin stupid country, and bush fucking 275 million people daily for 8 years was just hard nosed presidency? if clinton did all the shit bush jr he would be sent off to guantanamo bay and be tortured for life then hung with pirhanas knawing at him

[IchFresseTitanJa]

He ended incredibly. 

[JDev82]

he bit half this material. as a comedy fan, i can say that this man has a good delivery, but probably cant write worth a fuck. stole several jokes from carlin, and has this arrogant yet insecure delivery that just makes me sick.

[mrbouncelol]

@JDev82

who didn't "steal" from carlin? Ask a black comedian if he "stole" from Pryor. It's the same thing... Did teh Sex Pistols steal from the Ramones? Did Elvis and his producers steal from the writers? Sometimes it's stealing, but sometimes it's just taking something and making it into something new.

[JDev82]

@mrbouncelol well, first off id like to point out that elvis did in fact steal most of his materiel from black blues rock pioneers who died penniless because elvis had jacked their shit. also, bill wasnt really adapting carlins jokes, just repeating them without giving credit. i call that theft.

[SiliconBong]

Well said, mrbouncelol.

[alabader741]

Bill Maher FTW !

[IcyScythe]

lol @ the irony at the end "Kid Love inc."

[Kelseyplanet]

Love the John Lennon impression!

[arev1977]

@Kelseyplanet Yeah! That was awesome! Loved it too!

[PeterBluth]

I don't think Clinton was taking a hit for the team-My God, he fucked Gennifer Flowers for 12 years. The man had a fat girl fetish.

[MeteorPhoenix1127]

Thank you, Mr. President

[borednerd74]

Lol Brilliant Yoko joke!

[ole555]

The President fucks plankton because he's busy!

[RZMaslic]

Lol! Only if Clinton didn't bomb my countrymen then he would of been my favorite American president.

[ScottBrown666]

@RZMaslic I'll apologize on behalf of my crazy country. It was nothing personal, we've bombed all kinds of countries. In my own defense, I wasn't old enough to vote for him anyway....

[RZMaslic]

@ScottBrown666 Oh don't apologize for your country, they can do that for themselves and I know its nothing personal, just strategic moves on a chessboard.

America wouldn't be a anywhere near a crazy country if the state invested more in quality education and social programs rather then the military and the CIA who cause more conflicts and wars then solve them.

I'll probably be labeled as a socialist or someone who hates America by someone on youtube, or at least in their mind.

[appleorangebanana2]

Clinton did do that, talk about multitasking! Lol

[darksidelead]

best stand up comedy act evar

[thecatnalex]

I love this guy

[baayen]

8:02 "Kid Love, inc."

whut?

[pavendort]

HAHAHAHA, this chick would make a strap on go limp.

[SketchyBack]

"thank you mr president" *salutes* LMAO

[ZeckRichards]

Pussy for the president? LOL uh...I'm not sure about that one.

[Tjizmasta0v0]

This really was so genius.

[xMeanBean]

"This chick could make a strap-on go limp." :D

[LittleRedMenace]

Marilyn Monroe. I'm pretty sure no president could top that!

[adikid89]

I can't really understand who are the people who thumbs down videos like this :(

[kaminarigaston]

@adikid89

One people in a hundred accidentally clicks on the wrong button. Nah, I just made that up, but you can pretend that it's true.

[D4R3W]

BIll Maher, "More pussy for me, i mean the president" wink, wink to every women in the audience

[Peter7Paul]

genius

[MsBeatlesfan1964]

The Yoko joke.....LOL

[dovespin1]

Pussy for the President!

[gomezgomas]

It´s nice to see that there are a lot of americans who have brains and balls, guys like Carlin, Hicks, Stewart, Maher, I mean, this is the america I love and respect!!!

Cheers from Chile

[conancito]

@gomezgomas Hicks is dead, but i get what youre saying. I am haf from Chile, too ^^ But one gay saying stuff isnt changing the people and they are... lets face it... incredibly dumb and dull nd always will be in the majority

[gomezgomas]

@conancito couldn´t agree more

saludos!!!

[Kuriku24]

@gomezgomas And Colbert! Don't forget him! =)

[gomezgomas]

@Kuriku24 oooooh, yes, I totally forgot!, In fact, I recently watched his speech at the white house correspondent's dinner (2006), and I was blown away!

I live in Chile so It´s hard to find material of these guys, I mean, cable sucks and my only ¨video resource¨is youtube, hahaha

cheers

[rugbyanden]

@gomezgomas You forgot Hitchens ffs!

[Copper4head]

@gomezgomas

"Pussy for the President, that's my charity! Pussy, for the President, Ladies & Gentlemen!"

[naprelle]

@gomezgomas don't forget lenny bruce and lewis black:)

[kylem1112]

@gomezgomas Not all americans are stupid, contrary to your perception of a fat white redneck.. I'm sick and tired other countries thinking that all or most American's are dumb.

[MindstormRecs]

@gomezgomas Thanks we're not all moronic zombies of our society :)

[jimbrown257]

@gomezgomas

It sucks that only half of those guys are still alive.

[DaydreamingCrow]

Eating pizza while talking on the phone and getting a blow job? Now that is multitasking!

[ubitcumajkemi]

@DaydreamingCrow and who said man can't multitask... :)

[opfandtild]

I see the children have invaded the youtube commentaries. Maybe we should close the commentary down - for the children of course.

[Drakon222]

But how to do that? First off, you usually don't see the actual age on someone's profile, second - there are cases when even adult people behave really dumb. Duh. :)

[dnzljhnsn]

Bill Maher tells the truth! He's the man!

[alexander33345]

i you know how that sounds like because...

[Prka01]

Now I know that this could be tricky, not being evolved to the point of having oposable thumbs and all. Try changing the channel.

[SMBKING2008]

Now, now, ladies go outside with your potty mouths

[Prka01]

Speaking from personal experience perhaps?

[tribbleq]

Best... comedian... ever.

[SMBKING2008]

Carlin? Pryor? Williams? He's good, but he's no Richard Pryor

[vtguy429]

They are all greats. All in their own aspect. I especially like Carlin and Maher for tackling the retarded views held by the majority of society so strongly.

[chessdawgz]

@thkaal1 and that's just the Greek ones!

[AntiSkill42]

"PUSSY FOR THE PRESIDENT! -That's my Charity.

...

For the children Ladys and Gentleman, for the children..."

ggggrrrrEEEAAAAATTT!!!

[metaitachi]

"He has a charisma coming off of him... I almost fucked him!"

Hilarious

[livvidd]

yeah, i know what u mean, i want all his babies

[hereandnow6002]

i was responding to lingerfoot and i was just making a joke

[lopsidedfrog]

robin williams is cool !

[kenleemar]

I am so tired of being trickled on

[hereandnow6002]

HAHAHAHA

[AliasThatIsFake]

Aren't we all

[Satori1800]

KENLEEMAR: Hi:) lol

[Lingerfoot]

Bill Maher = GOD; George Carlin = GOD!

[hereandnow6002]

there can be only one god you heathen lol

[Prka01]

Damnit, again, you are skipping Bill Hicks, and maybe even Doug Stanhope needs to be mentioned.

[Lingerfoot]

Who is Doug Stanhope? I like some of Bill Burr's stuff.

[We4get1918]

Bill Burr is a genius. Stanhope is someone who Burr said he loved. He is pretty much Burr buy with less energy, more extreme views, better political ideas, dirtier jokes, drug addictions, and onstage drinking.

[TonyBtheEG]

nice.

[Ragnarok6664]

He's brilliant :- ) I just wonder, why is the show cut? I's there a "full version"?.

[mites7]

I think it is the full version

[ventrue1]

He's just Great!!!! BRAVO! So funny!

[daddyleon]

lol 5:40 is that real??

[anetchi]

ahahahahahahhhaa!! man, he is freakn AWESOME!

[xCrazyJayx]

Pussy for the president!!!!

[IAmKrow]

We're just gathering facts LOL with that voice

[Vjuch]

"Thank you Mr. President"

That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Maher is just a legend.

[superman11978]

I think I prefer Maher to Carlin. Both have genius observations, but I think Maher is a bit funnier with his and less...batshit crazy. Carlin literally says that he likes to see people killed, and he's not fucking joking. The audience laughs, but deep down they're thinking, "holy shit, is he serious?" And he was goddamn serious. He had a tendency to get into long rants without a laugh for 5 minutes. However, Carlin's knack for wordplay was unparalleled, he was like the Dylan of comics.

[EBursey]

I can't say I disagree with you but I'd say that Carlin brought a more genuine passion to his shows. I'm new to Maher (we don't get him in the UK) but this & other bits I've seen seem kind of tailored to his audience whereas Carlin came across as saying what he wanted to say, and if he offended you Tough-Titties.

Either way, they both bring a grin to the face IMO.

;-)

[siiruz13]

if you watch real time (his hbo show) he does get booed by the audience for things he says against obama.

[seestickglue232]

It's true I watch his show. He really does not play favorites..

[Oznah1]

The only reason not to laugh at people dying is fearing death. I don't, I think it's just interresting to see whats comming up after this. I'm in no way suicidal tho', since I just see this life as a bonus round and trying to make the most of it instead of beeing shitfucked worried about everything, everywhere like everyone else

[mand1sh3p]

I like ur thinking

[EGS3]

superman11978 I agree with you completely. Carlin has some good thoughts but I never really saw him as a "full comedian". What I mean is he is more of a guy that is supposed to make you think than make you laugh. Maher does a very good job of balancing those two, while Carlin doesn't. When Maher rants he rants but throws in jokes and its near perfect. When Carlin rants its like ok this is interesting but you are a COMEDIAN right? Make us laugh. It seems like Carlin rants to whoever way too much.

[Schragmeister]

What I think Carlin did was to make you laugh your tits off, then go home, lay in bed and think, "Why did I laugh?" Because it's true.

Without denial, however, Carlin was a legend and Maher is hilarious.

[Pioware]

I think that all started from Bill Hicks - he's routine was actually banned from US becouse of making fun of religion and states. I also think that after his death, Carlin took the topic about religion and human stupidity from Bill's cold hands;) which was around 1994.

[seestickglue232]

Nah dude I gotta disagree with you Carlin's acts definitely had a point and were little pieces of truth, but he was a comedian so when he said stuff about people being killed it was a joke dude. He didn't like to see people get killed. Bill Hicks, now he may have really enjoyed seeing dumb people die. But he is about the most cynical (and most wise) comedian ever, if you like Carlin and Maher then Bill Hicks is God. His life was cut short unfourtunately but his comedy lives on

[puttheblame]

There's plenty of dumb people around my end I want to see dead. The Government's Bitches.

I'm really starting to get into Bill Maher's comedy, I think he's great like Carlin and Hicks.

[thegunclub123]

youre right on that mark

[NOTxTHATxGUITAR]

I like him too, but 50% of the stuff he's said so far sounds a bit too similar to George Carlin.

[fdrnik]

@NOTxTHATxGUITAR that's not a bad thing u know, his material is different but a lot about the same subjects :)

[zofspade]

Watch his earlier stuff. He did got preachier and more cynical as he grew older.

[DamnAllSequels]

I thought 2000 was earlier stuff- what early standup would you recommend?

[zofspade]

I'm talking about Carlin. He started in the 70s.

[mites7]

he has stuff all the way from 1989 and earlier

[guipalmeirense]

Yeah... and that brings old memories to the subject. I relived it right here at YouTube. A Bill Maher stand-up comedy in the year of 1986 at Letterman.

[blanksbrk]

For the children!

[mayarieb]

It's amazing how I pretty much agree with all of what he says - and I'm a woman!

He certainly doesn't let up on us - gotta respect a guy who fights back, and he knows it.

He tells it like it is.

Bill Maher for President.

although not really because I think he'd be high too much. Can't get much done when you're high.

[xXJacobBuckXx]

Unless your a musician =D

[BLaZe071775]

hahhaha. this is awesome. soo true and best thing i read all day :P

[capitolpunishment93]

like me

[Se1ander]

@mayarieb

Yeah, Bush couldn't......

[guthax20]

Well, i dunno about that last one...dubya was coked up and he started three wars and an economic depression...then again coke is a stimulate while pot is a depressant XD

[colourmegone]

@mayarieb "Can't get much done when you're high." U S Grant was an alcoholic as are a lot of successful people. And of course there's Georg Dubyuh 'Cokehead' Bush. And how does Mr Maher manage to run a highly successful career? and George Carlin and Robin Williams and on and on and on. The reason there aren't more politicians and other 'leaders of society' in the list is they don't brag about it.

[zodiakranch]

@colourmegone if only our politicians were this honest. Exelent job of highlighting some famous functioning addicts including former presidents. Thumbs up.

[Oniisetaru]

@mayarieb i dont see what being a woman has to do with liking him....

[Doa3ggR011]

@mayarieb I can do alot of shit when I'm high, not all of it is constructive to be honest =P.

[TheCreep70]

Bill Maher may have the best joke delivery in history!!

[tonyac42]

George Carlin

[Usulic]

Bill Maher said that George Carlin was his biggest rolemodel, and you can clearly see that if you know Carlin's way. I'm not complaining about Maher ripping Carlin off here. I like Maher, like the style, glad he does what he does!

[rncoco]

I wonder if Bill Clinton ever heard this. lol

[chris14091975]

i love his take on clinton and lewinsky. bill maher is awesome

[ProjectCC]

you're awesome

[boburanus69]

I am donating $5,000,000 and 40 cases of rubbers to the 'pussy for the president' charity. Anyone have Bill Maher's address?

[JoMariebentzler]

If I was a guy I wanted want to fuck Hilary, I dont blame bill for cheating what a frigid bitch...LOL

[elcondepatula]

chunky chicks rule!

[OnePineTree]

"chunky chick that brings in the mail" !!!! that's hilarious!!!

[420captain]

long live John Lennon.

[caliche1985]

I love when he impersonates john lennon LOL!