Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 19/32)

[uberCharlie7552]

i've been FUCKING waiting to see some HEADSPLOSION and i STILL AM

darkseed, fuck you.

fuck you.

[M1k3T3hR0ck3r]

this videa may be a year old but---->/watch?v=lZG3D7I7MaY just to let the guys at retsuprae know XD

[HazelCarter287]

"Kick your ass I will."

[cyberhoodlum]

Yoda quickly shouting "HELP ME, MIKE DAWSON!" is still one of my absolute favorite moments from this commentary.

[Yay248]

[Get a date with Rita] = OOPS!

[Get molested by Ik and Uk] = OKAY!

[Marictdude]

I am watching these as a slow torture, so when I get to watch the last video with all of Mike's death scenes, it will feel SOOO GOOD

[Akashic8Lamb]

Well no one has to to tell Mikes mom to go back to the kitchen, she lives in hers

[salvo711]

Eh, you missed, pal!

[whitelessII]

the dark world sometimes reminds me of Monty Pythons Flying Circus

[bobbinsthethird]

Hey ya missed pal

[bust2007]

1 person never got to the big head..

[lonerurouni287]

13:48 KILLS me everytime.

[VanIntegral]

There's just something about how Diabetus shrieks "HELP ME MIKE DAWSON" as Yoda that just cracks me the hell up.

[InfinitisStormcaster]

I officially want a compilation of the Yoda quotes from this game.

[DJCuellRebirth]

It's interesting that parts 19 and 21 has the same video icon.

Mike Dawson really likes that giant head.

[jettythesunfish]

Mike. It's Ring Toss.

WHY ARE YOU FAILING AT IT?!

[InaudibleSlinky]

Dark world Rita was a nun.

[HorrorFanatic17]

every time we see that power line connecting to the nipple i imagine Cole from Infamous grinding across it.

[SamuraiFoochs]

With the wacky, jazzy bug music and the clown and the lawn watering and shit, it's like someone stuck Day of the Tentacle and Phantasmagoria in a blender to make the crappiest smoothie ever,

[Born2bwire]

Jesus Christ. The clown dies. How fucking pathetic is it for Mike Dawson to have failed the clown?

[THEannorexicfatty]

Normally I can go back and watch your videos over a couple times.... for this series I can't do so for fear of slitting my own throat.

[MrIgotabadfeeling]

Mike Dawson may rival Jar Jar Binks in most annoying and hated character of all time.

[SkuttieG]

Show us on the shrimp baby where Ik and Uk touched you Mike Dawson.

[DrMarilynFan]

Amazing how much Slowbeef hates Dawson and this game, despite doing a recap of it 5 years ago

lparchive . org / Darkseed-2

[ItsReallyMario]

Pills, what was your relationship with Rita

[zzyzx0788]

You stick the teddy bear that became a...thing in the other ...thing and it does...something...to the power? Was this game made by Godlimitations?

[Evan121991]

Mike Dawson the Hedgehog goes around asking everyone if they're the Iblis Trigger and demands to know what their relationship with Princess Elise was

[Shirorirozu]

@Evan121991 I think I'm in love with you

[Scoat]

The mouse cursor is invisible. You now realise every time the long player is standing still he is searching for places to click.

[Evan121991]

@Scoat I thought it was just bad loading times

[Scoat]

@Evan121991 Nah lol, these kind of games didn't have extensive loading times in such obscure places. I noticed at the fortune teller that the cursor was invisible, and then when I was playing Sanitarium, I was doing the exact same thing when I was looking for objects to click.

[BagOfMagicFood]

@Scoat You don't mean the mouse cursor was invisible to the PLAYER, do you? If it was only removed by the screen-recording software, then there's no excuse for not practicing the game and knowing what to click on at all times from the beginning.

[Scoat]

@BagOfMagicFood No, the cursor is invisible to us, so if he goes into a room, and checks certain items like the pills, or the toilet, to see if he can use them now, on our end it looks like he is just standing still doing absolutely nothing for no reason.

[Scoat]

@BagOfMagicFood Oh I see what you mean, and there may be, "no excuse" for it, but hell, he'll do it.

[3Gads]

"Heeeeey, you missed pal!"

[Zknight7126]

Dark World Mike Dawson is Chuck Norris.

[fuandon]

@Zknight7126 Naw, Dark World Dawson is Tommy Wiseau

[TBretzer]

These videos are great and I can't wait for the death scenes.

It's hilarious how the long player is managing to play in character as Mike Dawson.

[Cloaytonem2]

I can't wait until the part where the longplayer shows us all of the death scenes.

Seeing Dawson die will make this all worthwhile.

[StPatrickDayMassacre]

@Cloaytonem2

ruined the game for me. why would u ruin a great game like this?

[Cloaytonem2]

@StPatrickDayMassacre Because OCD is a serious problem.

[StPatrickDayMassacre]

@Cloaytonem2

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

[posthumanfetus]

I love how they hate Mike Dawson more and more with each passing video.

[thealexgher]

omg the acients stolte the 14:59th second...

and my ability to spell

[DoNotEvenAsk]

I'm still trying to decide whether watching this whole longplay commentaryless or Minecraft LPs are more agonizing to watch.

[Unknownhero1423]

@DoNotEvenAsk at least in Darkseed 2 you see Mike fuck up ring toss.

[solidsnak666]

WTF Darkseed is a band also check that craziness out

[trixtor0823]

I'm just waiting to see their reactions to one certain event.

[80085word69]

someone needs to do a montage of chariots of fire to the ring toss

[JackIsASexyMf]

I couldn't believe that he actually said molested -_- Mike Dawson is so awkward

[Reddyne]

"I don't think Ick and Uck are going to molest me anymore."

Why does he sound so disappointed?

[Iwuznothere]

I'm not sure if I should entirely hate Mike Dawson for the character in this game or split it between the creator and Chris Gilbert. It took an incredible lack of talent to turn just terrible lines into truly pathetic acting. At least in the first game Mike was an idiot and not the sub-human knuckle dragger he is here.

[VVD]

i fucked rita

[Kuronji]

Hey ya missed pal.

[ScaniaChan]

I can't wait for this Longplay to finally be over.

[KitsuneRagnell]

I hate this long player...

[jsh020]

@KitsuneRagnell hey come on, his incompetence is probably doubleing our time with this long play, i think the only ones with the real right to hate this longplayer are diabeetus and slowbeef

[KitsuneRagnell]

@jsh020 I just want more of the short one-timer RPs. No one really makes good one of those anymore...

[jsh020]

@KitsuneRagnell probably cause they are not easy to find anymore, besides chipcheezum still does them

[Kerma7]

I want to know something: If space is truly infinite and there could be a million possible earths, is there one where darkseed 2 is a good game?

[ADBHLS]

I looked up Darkseed 2 on google images.

About the 6th page in there's ring toss jokes.

[piggemz]

"HELP ME MIKE DAWSON!!" makes a lot of sense in the dark world

[gamingguy12]

I think Lester the Unlikely would make a better protagonist that Mike Dawson

[Paikerchu13]

@gamingguy12

Lester the Unlikely actually mans up after the second level. It's been 4 hours out of 5 in gameplay here, and Mike Dawson has actually become more and more of a pussy than before.

[gamingguy12]

@Paikerchu13 Mike- "Lester, did you kill Rita?"

Lester-"Yea, and I'm proud you pussy"

Mike Dawson's version of the ending of Lester the Unlikley is him in the dark world diner with a I-have-to-shit-so-bad face surrounded by giant girl heads asking the waitor if he killed Rita

[thevoiceofdogSA]

@GenjiFirefly

why would you spoil that

remove it

[GenjiFirefly]

@thevoiceofdogSA

I dunno, why would the commercial ruin that?

[Proletariat12]

goggle mike dawson. First picture is him.

[PaperMario15]

@Proletariat12 It's almost like it's a SEARCH ENGINE or something.

[Proletariat12]

@PaperMario15 I'm glad you know that Google is a search engine. Is there any other point you wanted to make, or did you just want to share that piece of well known info?

[PrickRolled]

You know you're fucked when you're asking mike dawson for help.

[SpongeBobPore]

As unbelievable as it may sound, the clown's a bigger idiot than Mike. For starters, who forgets their life-saving medicine in a cooler, then takes priority of manning the ticket booth instead of finding a way to get it?

Side note, how does he know Mike is a suspected murderer, being that the two had never met before and Mike never told him his name?

[Paikerchu13]

@SpongeBobPore

Who the fuck puts an anvil on the cooler with their own life-saving medicine inside?

[SpongeBobPore]

@Paikerchu13 Actually, who even put the anvil there in the first place? Gargan seems to be the only one able to even lift it.

[Ygdrasel]

@SpongeBobPore

He probably left it there intentionally so he could die and be free of this game. Then he holed up in the ticket booth to die in peace, and sent Mike on a wild goose chase for his "forgotten" meds just to avoid talking with him.

[PKrockin]

@SpongeBobPore Word probably got around about the murder and the suspected killer, this is a small town after all. As for how the clown recognized Mike... oh wait, this isn't Phoenix Wright, this is Darkseed 2. The answer is the writer is a moron.

[DemonDarknessLP]

Mike Dawson is so kaizo...

[MaplewhatProductions]

tags: mike dawson andthe temple ofdoomed ring toss attempts

[Invisibrah]

Small, insecure... you must be the Dawson!

[littleNorwegians]

He DOES say bitching arm.

But to be fair, I'm sure every part of Mike Dawson bitches about stuff.

[gaminggoddess85]

@littleNorwegians Can't tell if serous, but I think he says pitching arm. As is the one he's ineffectually tossing the ring with.

[EternalGuardian07]

The thought of Kaizo Darkseed is amazingly funny.

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

@EternalGuardian07 In Kaizo Darkseed 2, you have to take every conversation path possible or you lose and don't find this out until the very end of the game.

Also, there's no Ring Toss.

[pullahoko]

Ik only molests Mike Dawson during the daytime; Uk molests him at night.

[Killagoose77]

"I hope Ick and Uck aren't going to molest me anymore."

When I saw this on blip.tv, I laughed way too hard. I still guffaw whenever I hear that.

[SpongeBobPore]

@Killagoose77 Same, that was one of the three times I had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard.

[ValugaTheLord]

I wonder if this was as funny if this was by another longplayer..

[TheGamedawg]

This series is so funny.

[thunderhogTH]

I think Ive finally realized what's wrong with this game. Mike Dawson has Schizophrenia, and the dark world is just a figment of his imagination. The first game was actually an elaborate plan by his mother. Mike had a mental operation (signified by the alien embryo in his head) and placed in that run down house to heal up.However, he was given the wrong painkillers. After things got out of hand and going to jail twice, his mother decided to send someone to give him his medicine and send him home

[Gilgamesh1317]

I'm beginning to think the longplayer IS Mike Dawson. He seems incompetent enough.

[mrb1untman]

Mannish Mom, what was your relationship with Rita?

[SQUIZZLER24]

Darkseed 3 - A ring-based first-person shooter.

[HHKelevra]

Mike Dawson will be the protagonist in GTA V. The only weapon pickups are rings.

[spiderman4112003]

Giant shrimp baby did you molest Rita?

[elshotaru]

That's it. Next year I'm dressing up as Mike Dawson for halloween. I'll be carrying a ring around and throw it at things and miss.

[bobbyewing311]

I was tabbed to Facebook and I heard the carnival music and was like "YES RINGTOSS!"

[nyecorp]

Trivia Time!: This longplay was actually done as part of a speed-running challenge for Darkseed 2. It won by default, because this was the only player who didn't commit suicide 2 hours in.

[Level1Slime]

@nyecorp Speedrun?... SPEEDRUN!?

[Noisemaze]

The truth is Mike Dawson should have died long ago, but Death is far too busy to be bothered with collecting someone so pathetic.

[heroshadow42]

How many parts do you think it would take if there was a Speed Run for this, or is what we're watching the Speed Run version?

[inferno232]

Someone needs to make Darkseed 3: The Return of Mike Dawson

[KKoserYaks]

That's actually a triceratops, not a paperclip.

[RoboMelvana]

HELP ME MIKE DAWSON

[videogamenostalgia]

'You wanna know how I got these scars? I worked at a carnival. I was in charge of admissions. Now, my father was a drinker... and a fiend. One night, he goes off a little crazier than usual, and puts an anvil on top of my medication. I put my faith in a local manchild to retrieve it for me. After years of waiting for the meds, I put a knife to my own mouth aaaand......why so serious?'

[M30W3R]

@videogamenostalgia would've been better if it ended with eeey you missed pal

[M30W3R]

I can't find any IRL picture of Mike Dawson! Retsupurae, did you murder him?

[werebee]

@M30W3R If you were Mike Dawson, would you want photos of you floating around?

[M30W3R]

@werebee I'd take them down, but I'd be too embarrassed to do it...

[Lordicus78]

@M30W3R w ww . digitalmediaacademy . org/adults-pros/instructors/mi­ke-dawson/

[M30W3R]

@Lordicus78 you sure it's the right link? :c

[Lordicus78]

@M30W3R take the spaces out of the link. You can't post full-site links on Youtube anymore.

[BucketCapacity]

@M30W3R If you're seriously looking for a picture, just google "mike dawson ucla" and click on the first result.

[Doperwtje81]

@M30W3R

There's neither photos nor reflections of Mike Dawson; he's like a vampire only without any of the cool stuff.

[horngatekeeper]

@Doperwtje81 insert obligatory Twilight Joke, except even fictional women don't want to sleep with Mike Dawson.

[Doperwtje81]

@horngatekeeper

Edward is a bad-ass compared to Mike, let that sink in...

[M30W3R]

@Doperwtje81 I disagree, at least Mike has the decency to disguise his dubious sexual preferences

[Doperwtje81]

@M30W3R

fair enough, but answer me this;

could Edward win at the ring toss?

[M30W3R]

@Doperwtje81 the point is not if edward could win at the ring toss, the point is actually, who would look less of a loser while playing the game?

And the answer, shockingly would still me Mike.

[StyleKrong]

@M30W3R He probably killed himself after he failed to get with giant head lady for the second time.

[TheToast7]

"Dawson, if I had any evidence that you were the killer, I'd put you in jail so fast your head would spin."

"THAT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO PROVE MY INNOCENCE EVEN MORE!"

[NightTaoretaDawn]

retsupurae did you kill Rita?

[MrElmendir]

Make somethung about stupid youtubers again

[paulwarnstedt]

@MrElmendir that mmakesme think,what if mike dawson had a youtube -channel?

[paulwarnstedt]

@paulwarnstedt and i need a new keyboard

[JasperChalks]

Cornshaq is the Dark World version of this longplayer.

[jman3267]

The giant zipper is the Dark World equivalent of Rita.

[Flokkerdude]

The chariot's of fire comment by Diabetus made me laugh very, very hard. Because I was imagining making a video about that the other day.

[jman3267]

@Flokkerdude

/watch?v=lZG3D7I7MaY

Someone made it already

[Flokkerdude]

@jman3267 I saw, I ror'd.

[Mushman23]

Slowbeef, I think you're able to increase Retsupurae's YouTube time limit from the new video uploader now. All you need to do is verify the account by letting YouTube send a text to your mobile phone.

Anyway, enjoying the series so far.

[CyanFunk]

Oh thank God more ringtoss.

[ToadTReborn]

I did nawt kiil rita, that's bullshit, i did nawt kill her, I did nawt-

O hai new retsuprae vid.

[Pooky1991]

Part 4 was torture to watch! I started doing my colledge work while it was on. Even your commentary can't make this crappy game interesting. I salute retsupurae for watching the entire walkthroughXD

[majorawesome15]

Manish Mom's deadflowers....how well did you know Rita?

[TheorySH]

Mike Dawson got into a fight with the joystick from Star Strike. The only way to defeat it was to defeat it at ring toss. Needless to say, he missed, pal.

[HyperFlameGuy]

How the fuck does a seahorse look like a bear? Maybe his retarded logic killed Rita.

[Hamsteere]

Those tags sure set my teeth on edge...

[majorawesome15]

.....I hate you Mike Dawson.

[Rogueofmv]

GEE, I SURE HOPE IK AND UK DON'T MOLEST MIKE DAWSON IN THIS PART.

[glitchz1]

Watching dark seed 2 on day of the dead. I might die before they finish these videos. Oh well you know what they say. Dont fear the RP'er

[mattr75]

I'm amazed that you guys managed to get this far without resorting to drinking games for something so incredibly boring like this. Major props.

[TheInvalidman]

The longplayer is in fact, Mike Dawson himself.

[Born2bwire]

@TheInvalidman Yeah, I'm convinced that the longplayer is doing this on purpose as a means of representing how the true Mike Dawson would journey through this misadventure.

[shockraid1]

Sometimes the video tags are the best part.

[xRagma]

vagina