I wonder why people that are basically good people have strong feelings of guilt for the mistakes they make, but people who spend their lives doing outrageously horrible things NEVER APOLOGIZE or feel remorse!!!
so would you prefer that you each be selfish an equal number of times of you each serve each others needs an equal number of times........selfishness and unselfishness.................powned you........+ 1
Yes my sister like use that repeating thingy in 04:00 but subtle way then I notise that when she go too far. Now I try avoid that woman she is so noing and pressing
Yes my sister like use that repeating thingy in 04:00 but subtle way then I notise that when he go too far. Now I try avoid that woman she is so noing and pressing
I see the argument from adjective constantly. I thoroughly explained Stefs argument to a woman, and she completely rejected it. Surprisingly enough she is religious. She held onto her beliefs as would a christian against a rational logically consistent argument for the nonexistence of god..I've never seen this behavior before outside of religion. Once people have a grasp of that moral superiority in their minds they'll hold on at all costs.
Also you seem to have a lack of understanding for the difference between pleasure and happiness. There is a basic fundamental difference between the two as pleasure does not equate to happiness. You can not use these two words interchangeably as they mean very different things. Pleasure is that which is pleasurable- or subjectively unequivocal & possibly even whimsical. Happiness is the highest value of oneself. Hard work for example is not really pleasurable.
you are totally misusing the word selfish here. You ought to first read the essay "the virtue of selfishness", the fountainhead & atlas shrugged by ayn rand. Selfishness is not about sacrificing oneself or others- its about taking care of oneself & that is all- its about being FREE & INDEPENDENT & self respect. SELFLESSNESS- that is the whole meaning of being a slave & a sacrificial animal.
Also it should be noted that selfishness is a real virtue. Selfishness is a caring for oneself, its the valuing of oneself. Its self respect- self dignity- self virtue. That is selfishness. Selfishness is anti-self-sacrifice meaning you do not enslave or sacrifice yourself for the whims of others. To sacrifice / enslave oneself is to be irrational & lose one's own self respect. hence why altruism, self sacrifice, is so bad- it's anti self
For example, The statement that the sky is blue & the sun is hot does not become invalid regardless if you jump up & down, cry & scream. your irrational behavior has no real weight on the validity of a rational fact. Hence why rational people choose to abide by only facts not the whims of the irrational people
i get this. informative and detailed, though for the "selfish" part, it's more of a video on how to win fights with your parents to avoid going to the airport rather than overcoming "guilt".
when there is a new or old problem at hand, and an obvious underlying guilt with one self: instead of diving into the vicious cycle of guilt all over again, why not take that step forward to solve the mistake and realize your innocence?
i find it's easier to learn to move forward. saves relationships.
This is quite funny, because If I ever tried to logically argue with any of my family members about a situation like this, it likely wouldn't go very far and I'd probably be shunned/screamed at/punished. Sometimes you just gotta cave in.
The actions of the rational & logical can not be reliant nor associated with the actions of the irrational & illogical. Thus the fact that your 'family members' may be irrational & jump up & down, etc, should not hold any weight as to whether or not you are rational or not & the validity of your statements. Validity can never be judged by irrational & the illogical- only the logical.
@COLDBEARD If that's the case, you do realize you are totally within your rights to cut them off altogether until they are ready to behave like adults and respect you?
The socialized and institutionalized teaching of guilt is most pervasive in modern western culture. However, there is considerable moral double-dealing, both at the individual and collective level. Look at the large corporations that preach free-market principles, yet, at the same time, are begging for the State's (tax payers!) bail out money. I think that is called corporate socialism, or, if one prefers, a form of facism.
stef: you sound like you are in therapy. rational argument can be used as verbal kung fu but this may not be the most constructive way to live your life.
what if you feel guilty for bad things you did as a child (11 years old) is it possible to overcome guilt, and live your life, even if you know what you did was wrong, but didn't realize how bad it was untill you grew up???
What distinguishes children from adults isn't height or hormones, but the capacity for rational thought. Adults can smoke, drink, and consent to sex because they have the mental faculties to make objective decisions. It's not at all a matter of age. We would never charge a child with a crime, even if guilty, because we know that a child is not a rational being. Hence you have no reason to feel guilty for something that was fundamentally beyond your control.
Selfish is a virtue, go google Ayn Rand Selfish...
Rand argues that a virtue is an action by which one secures and protects one's rational values—ultimately, one's life and happiness. Since a concern with one's own interests is a character trait that, when translated into action, enables one to achieve and guard one's own well-being, it follows that selfishness is a virtue. One must manifest a serious concern for one's own interests they're to lead a healthy, purposeful, fulfilling life.
He means that you are justified in being selfish when you must guard against unhappiness, however you are not justified if you consciously try to take happiness away from others.
I think I would be the best example, I am inversely manipulative. So that means I unconsciously prevent people from making attacks on my character, requiring me to fully intellectualise emotions, feelings, and even the ego itself. Because no one can make any "attack" on me, I am isolated not because I am not respected or disrespected, but because I cannot be trusted if I cannot be forseeably defeated.
guilt causes a lot of mental disorders and can be primarily responsible for people to go insane and is a powerful psychological tool to use on those institutions to exclude or hurt students.
guilt causes suicide and can paralyze people's mental health.
human communication is mostly a wild game of weird sisters chanting to themselves, each other, and anyone who will listen on, 'fair is foul and foul is fair.' to define self denial, self loathing and self destruction as a virtue and call it 'unselfishness,' and to define independent and consistent ethical integrity, self-respect and regard for strictly universal behavioral principles as 'selfishness,' is
just one example of the common perversity and perfidy in the use of language.
you could systematically sift through a dictionary of any(?) human language and word by word demonstrate a clear pattern of similar adulterations and built-in inherent ambiguities and equivocations that are used on a regular basis for manipulative, exploitive, destructive purposes;
they're not there by chance, but because language clearly reflects all the deliberate violence, corruption, obfuscation of truth going on in all social interactions.
linguistic ambiguities are ubiquitous and the meanings of the various and numerous connotations of any one expression can range from 'interchangeable' to 'almost the same' to 'diametrically opposed' or 'completely incoherent' and so on;
many words have a whole lot of different meanings at once to render effective communication nearly impossible, and constantly keep you busy trying to sort out the tangle of that exponential explosion of possible meanings for the most probable or opportune.
it is not only expressions like 'oh my god,' 'gee,' 'wtf,' etc. that are designed to keep your mind constantly distracted, slowed down and effectively hogtied while you get mind raped.
@libertariananarchist Enlightened self-interest is the only rationale in a robust economy and society. However, the extreme left would see such an individualistic creed to be akin to the communist version of sin.
If your brother jumps in the shower and uses all the hot water, is he selfish? I think he is -- especially if is not paying for the propane to power the water heater. However, the arguments in this video can be used to absolve him of that guilt. Could someone please refute this?
watch the vid again...ur bro is abusing your right to healthy hot water too...if he was healthy, you guys could ration the water, alternate shower days and times, find a way so both felt validated and respected and well showered...lol.but if thats not going down well. its only controll and power. study the video more closely and breath deep, relax some more and watch it untill you memorize it...and then watch it again 30, and 100 days later to deepen the memory...youl get it and be stronger.
There is no such thing as a right to hot water/health. That's a positive liberty and that's what gets us socialism. Moreover, selfishness is good because it is what makes the economy tick. Entrepreneur's find ways to be selfish... make money for themselves... and in doing so they benefit everyone.
This was really helpful, it seemed to come at the right time, I find myself being guilt tripped and unfairly manipulated all the time. If I realise it is happening I'll not be susceptable to it but I think because I let people off with no consequences that they try it all the time and sometimes it works.
Where do you get your philosophy? I'm doing a joint degree in philosophy and am wondering if your work is your own ideas or if you are summarising ideas you've read about. Thanks a lot :)
He has a pretty long list of inspirations, but it's far more of a synthesis than a leaning on any one source.
Drop by the site, there are free books available, you may want to read RTR (Real Time Relationships) where there is more explaination of some of these theories.
I enjoy your videos. Have you ever studied the enneagram? In it, there are nine personality "traits" where a positive and negative are closely associated. For instance, personality #5 was seeking wisdom, but with a character flaw of selfishness. I self-identified as a five, but found self-condemnation from acknowledgement of my selfishness. But turning it on its head, the most selfish are gifted with the ability to love greatly. :)
Families with young children work on communist principles i.e. the children receive according to need and their parents contribute according to their ability. When the kids grow up and become independant adults only small vestiges of familial communism remain. Adult family members will occasionnaly ask each other for favors, but usually only when in great need. If the request for assistance is denied, the one asking for help may feel betrayed. In that sense "selfish" can be a sort of betrayal.
I wonder why people that are basically good people have strong feelings of guilt for the mistakes they make, but people who spend their lives doing outrageously horrible things NEVER APOLOGIZE or feel remorse!!!
MishuTaste 7 months ago
It is great when he talks about monkeys throwing poo/shit.
biscuitmancollin 8 months ago
next time use a better example to compare moral superiority to selfishness............like murder or something.......for fuck sake mom and dad hahah
MrAndols 11 months ago
so would you prefer that you each be selfish an equal number of times of you each serve each others needs an equal number of times........selfishness and unselfishness.................powned you........+ 1
MrAndols 11 months ago
lol is it me, or do all your videos root back to your parents being garbage?
dirosaga 11 months ago
woooo...deep...x
kristoff99s 1 year ago
Derek can save us
(From Truma Center)
403988 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Yes my sister like use that repeating thingy in 04:00 but subtle way then I notise that when she go too far. Now I try avoid that woman she is so noing and pressing
s3condwind 1 year ago
Yes my sister like use that repeating thingy in 04:00 but subtle way then I notise that when he go too far. Now I try avoid that woman she is so noing and pressing
s3condwind 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
This video doesn't help..
SanniDog 1 year ago
Fucking beautiful.
mynameaborat993 1 year ago
I see the argument from adjective constantly. I thoroughly explained Stefs argument to a woman, and she completely rejected it. Surprisingly enough she is religious. She held onto her beliefs as would a christian against a rational logically consistent argument for the nonexistence of god..I've never seen this behavior before outside of religion. Once people have a grasp of that moral superiority in their minds they'll hold on at all costs.
drogden 1 year ago
But for the sake of one's own rational "happiness", one would work hard & toil.
swu880 1 year ago
Also you seem to have a lack of understanding for the difference between pleasure and happiness. There is a basic fundamental difference between the two as pleasure does not equate to happiness. You can not use these two words interchangeably as they mean very different things. Pleasure is that which is pleasurable- or subjectively unequivocal & possibly even whimsical. Happiness is the highest value of oneself. Hard work for example is not really pleasurable.
swu880 1 year ago
Thus those who look down on selfishness & praise selflessness are either fools or tyrants who rule over such fools
swu880 1 year ago
you are totally misusing the word selfish here. You ought to first read the essay "the virtue of selfishness", the fountainhead & atlas shrugged by ayn rand. Selfishness is not about sacrificing oneself or others- its about taking care of oneself & that is all- its about being FREE & INDEPENDENT & self respect. SELFLESSNESS- that is the whole meaning of being a slave & a sacrificial animal.
swu880 1 year ago
Also it should be noted that selfishness is a real virtue. Selfishness is a caring for oneself, its the valuing of oneself. Its self respect- self dignity- self virtue. That is selfishness. Selfishness is anti-self-sacrifice meaning you do not enslave or sacrifice yourself for the whims of others. To sacrifice / enslave oneself is to be irrational & lose one's own self respect. hence why altruism, self sacrifice, is so bad- it's anti self
swu880 1 year ago
@swu1
For example, The statement that the sky is blue & the sun is hot does not become invalid regardless if you jump up & down, cry & scream. your irrational behavior has no real weight on the validity of a rational fact. Hence why rational people choose to abide by only facts not the whims of the irrational people
swu880 1 year ago
i get this. informative and detailed, though for the "selfish" part, it's more of a video on how to win fights with your parents to avoid going to the airport rather than overcoming "guilt".
when there is a new or old problem at hand, and an obvious underlying guilt with one self: instead of diving into the vicious cycle of guilt all over again, why not take that step forward to solve the mistake and realize your innocence?
i find it's easier to learn to move forward. saves relationships.
seanlh 1 year ago
This is quite funny, because If I ever tried to logically argue with any of my family members about a situation like this, it likely wouldn't go very far and I'd probably be shunned/screamed at/punished. Sometimes you just gotta cave in.
COLDBEARD 1 year ago
@COLDBEARD
The actions of the rational & logical can not be reliant nor associated with the actions of the irrational & illogical. Thus the fact that your 'family members' may be irrational & jump up & down, etc, should not hold any weight as to whether or not you are rational or not & the validity of your statements. Validity can never be judged by irrational & the illogical- only the logical.
swu880 1 year ago
@COLDBEARD If that's the case, you do realize you are totally within your rights to cut them off altogether until they are ready to behave like adults and respect you?
LTBL88 1 year ago
The socialized and institutionalized teaching of guilt is most pervasive in modern western culture. However, there is considerable moral double-dealing, both at the individual and collective level. Look at the large corporations that preach free-market principles, yet, at the same time, are begging for the State's (tax payers!) bail out money. I think that is called corporate socialism, or, if one prefers, a form of facism.
whiff1962 1 year ago
"a mammal!" LOL
menonfire12 1 year ago
I think i will join the cult of freedomain radio :D
radzid 1 year ago 9
@radzid your see-through robes are in the mail. :o
stefbot 1 year ago 14
I'm going to use these principles to challenge the next person who says businesses are selfish for not taking a financial hit for them.
Though when I ask those questions, the answer is probably going to basically be "Because only the rich are capable of being selfish."
lordthawkeye 1 year ago 3
@lordthawkeye
No kidding.
In a socialist's world, the rich are criminals and the state is god.
Surhotchaperchlorome 1 year ago
i feel guilty for not feeling guilty
sum1unxpected 1 year ago
stef: you sound like you are in therapy. rational argument can be used as verbal kung fu but this may not be the most constructive way to live your life.
babelfish42ish 2 years ago
How about feeling guilty for making the wrong decision that only affects you
EchoInfinity 2 years ago 3
That did not help me to well.
redfoxbennaton 2 years ago
Comment removed
DropsOnEye 2 years ago
Comment removed
DropsOnEye 2 years ago
Comment removed
DropsOnEye 2 years ago
Comment removed
DropsOnEye 2 years ago
Good God, tell him. Then you'll feel better and so may he.
1971SuperLead 2 years ago
you are true gift man
thanks :)
benhorinfreedom 2 years ago
Great Work ! WOW, THANK YOU...
Kharami888 2 years ago
wait a minute, if someone is an asshole because they have an argument by adjective, isnt THAT an argument by adjective?
what is an asshole?
DeeperBlueX16 2 years ago
what if you feel guilty for bad things you did as a child (11 years old) is it possible to overcome guilt, and live your life, even if you know what you did was wrong, but didn't realize how bad it was untill you grew up???
bluehorse888 2 years ago
What distinguishes children from adults isn't height or hormones, but the capacity for rational thought. Adults can smoke, drink, and consent to sex because they have the mental faculties to make objective decisions. It's not at all a matter of age. We would never charge a child with a crime, even if guilty, because we know that a child is not a rational being. Hence you have no reason to feel guilty for something that was fundamentally beyond your control.
MDUMANOVIC 2 years ago 3
Great video! =)
fizzlemagizzle 2 years ago
Selfish is a virtue, go google Ayn Rand Selfish...
Rand argues that a virtue is an action by which one secures and protects one's rational values—ultimately, one's life and happiness. Since a concern with one's own interests is a character trait that, when translated into action, enables one to achieve and guard one's own well-being, it follows that selfishness is a virtue. One must manifest a serious concern for one's own interests they're to lead a healthy, purposeful, fulfilling life.
onesimpleneed 3 years ago
define selfish
schawt 3 years ago
He means that you are justified in being selfish when you must guard against unhappiness, however you are not justified if you consciously try to take happiness away from others.
sudnaidu 2 years ago
I think I would be the best example, I am inversely manipulative. So that means I unconsciously prevent people from making attacks on my character, requiring me to fully intellectualise emotions, feelings, and even the ego itself. Because no one can make any "attack" on me, I am isolated not because I am not respected or disrespected, but because I cannot be trusted if I cannot be forseeably defeated.
sudnaidu 2 years ago
guilt causes a lot of mental disorders and can be primarily responsible for people to go insane and is a powerful psychological tool to use on those institutions to exclude or hurt students.
guilt causes suicide and can paralyze people's mental health.
ScrewtapeLiberal787 3 years ago 2
i just discovered that my grandparents/parents use guilt as a manipulation tool so i attack my self and do what they wish
i even observed my grandma enjoying when they tought i attacked my self, and im their favorite grandson
damn hehe
erdal0 3 years ago
i just watched this because i had free time
i have to say this was very entertaining and most of all very veryyy educational i loved it
and i hope you make more videos/books like this
erdal0 3 years ago
Why doesn't he want to see his parents?
mempko 3 years ago
human communication is mostly a wild game of weird sisters chanting to themselves, each other, and anyone who will listen on, 'fair is foul and foul is fair.' to define self denial, self loathing and self destruction as a virtue and call it 'unselfishness,' and to define independent and consistent ethical integrity, self-respect and regard for strictly universal behavioral principles as 'selfishness,' is
cmoleon 3 years ago
just one example of the common perversity and perfidy in the use of language.
you could systematically sift through a dictionary of any(?) human language and word by word demonstrate a clear pattern of similar adulterations and built-in inherent ambiguities and equivocations that are used on a regular basis for manipulative, exploitive, destructive purposes;
cmoleon 3 years ago
they're not there by chance, but because language clearly reflects all the deliberate violence, corruption, obfuscation of truth going on in all social interactions.
linguistic ambiguities are ubiquitous and the meanings of the various and numerous connotations of any one expression can range from 'interchangeable' to 'almost the same' to 'diametrically opposed' or 'completely incoherent' and so on;
cmoleon 3 years ago
many words have a whole lot of different meanings at once to render effective communication nearly impossible, and constantly keep you busy trying to sort out the tangle of that exponential explosion of possible meanings for the most probable or opportune.
it is not only expressions like 'oh my god,' 'gee,' 'wtf,' etc. that are designed to keep your mind constantly distracted, slowed down and effectively hogtied while you get mind raped.
cmoleon 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Waaaaay too long and overdone. Over-explained.
Too much emotion during delivery....
Didn`t like it at all.
evadawn 3 years ago
selfishness can be a virtue
libertariananarchist 3 years ago 11
@libertariananarchist Enlightened self-interest is the only rationale in a robust economy and society. However, the extreme left would see such an individualistic creed to be akin to the communist version of sin.
whiff1962 1 year ago
If your brother jumps in the shower and uses all the hot water, is he selfish? I think he is -- especially if is not paying for the propane to power the water heater. However, the arguments in this video can be used to absolve him of that guilt. Could someone please refute this?
sigatus 3 years ago
watch the vid again...ur bro is abusing your right to healthy hot water too...if he was healthy, you guys could ration the water, alternate shower days and times, find a way so both felt validated and respected and well showered...lol.but if thats not going down well. its only controll and power. study the video more closely and breath deep, relax some more and watch it untill you memorize it...and then watch it again 30, and 100 days later to deepen the memory...youl get it and be stronger.
Kharami888 2 years ago
There is no such thing as a right to hot water/health. That's a positive liberty and that's what gets us socialism. Moreover, selfishness is good because it is what makes the economy tick. Entrepreneur's find ways to be selfish... make money for themselves... and in doing so they benefit everyone.
sigatus 2 years ago
That was very christian of you......how sweet.....
jimmy27paul 2 years ago
Great presentation - I don't know if your delivery has changed or it's the subject matter, but I find your presentations lately really enjoyable!
Your definition of the nature of 'guilt' reminds me a lot of John Bradshaw's definitions of 'toxic shame.'
mcphilthy 3 years ago
well said. 5 stars.
boylebongo 3 years ago
This was really helpful, it seemed to come at the right time, I find myself being guilt tripped and unfairly manipulated all the time. If I realise it is happening I'll not be susceptable to it but I think because I let people off with no consequences that they try it all the time and sometimes it works.
Where do you get your philosophy? I'm doing a joint degree in philosophy and am wondering if your work is your own ideas or if you are summarising ideas you've read about. Thanks a lot :)
p3nt3x 3 years ago
He has a pretty long list of inspirations, but it's far more of a synthesis than a leaning on any one source.
Drop by the site, there are free books available, you may want to read RTR (Real Time Relationships) where there is more explaination of some of these theories.
WorBlux 3 years ago
Fantastic! I was hoping you would do one on guilt.
TruthHidden 3 years ago
Masterful. I love the classification of guilt.
gerry2345 3 years ago
I feel changed. It's a nice change. Thank you. :)
philhellenes 3 years ago 9
I enjoy your videos. Have you ever studied the enneagram? In it, there are nine personality "traits" where a positive and negative are closely associated. For instance, personality #5 was seeking wisdom, but with a character flaw of selfishness. I self-identified as a five, but found self-condemnation from acknowledgement of my selfishness. But turning it on its head, the most selfish are gifted with the ability to love greatly. :)
good4usoul 3 years ago
Families with young children work on communist principles i.e. the children receive according to need and their parents contribute according to their ability. When the kids grow up and become independant adults only small vestiges of familial communism remain. Adult family members will occasionnaly ask each other for favors, but usually only when in great need. If the request for assistance is denied, the one asking for help may feel betrayed. In that sense "selfish" can be a sort of betrayal.
Ape65 3 years ago
Lobster is Sellfish!
qlight 3 years ago
No Lobster is SHellfish.
toadster464 3 years ago
Thanks alot stef helped me out alot!!
bigcatz4455 3 years ago