"Water, Water" (original song)

[iapetus1671]

Im using this for a c span documentry contest on water in the US thanks

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

That's great. I'd love to see it when it is completed.

~Jon

[iapetus1671]

i will be on youtube

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Can't wait! I'll be looking for it.

[suhasdm]

hey ur song is gr8, can we use it for our geo project....pls

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

No problem. I never imagined this song would be such a good accompaniment to so many educational projects - LOL! Feel free to use it. I'd love to see the end project someday. Thanks, ~Jon

[sweetmin29]

Hello, your song is really great. Can we use it in our project in Chemistry? Thanks in advance! :)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Ha! Sure... H2o is a chemical, afterall - right? Please feel free.

Thanks,

~Jon

[GlenAnne99]

Thanks for the nice reply :) I am excited to hear that you will be putting up some more of your great songs.

I will be looking forward to it, my friend :)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thanks Annie. Pray I have a lot of free time! ;-)

[GlenAnne99]

Crappy singing and playing???

I don't think so :)

This song is full of thoughts and emotions that run through everyone's life at one time or another. Great lyrics...great melody...great delivery of the songs meaning.

I like your free and easy style of music. Your songs seem simple but they never really are :)

You always make me think and reflect on my own experiences and emotions.

Good music does that :)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Hello Annie. You sure know how to make a guy's day! Your comments are such a boost at the end of a long day - just when I needed one. I'm so happy when a listener can take bits of my offerings and relate to them so. I do try to write from the common emotions that drive us forward and often crazy. Thank you for being such a faithful fellow YouTuber. I promise I have MUCH more coming; hopefully soon!

~Jon

[Mayflower109]

Very very nice song, I really enjoyed listening to it!!!

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thanks Wolfgang; I appreciate the comment!

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Your comments are quite insightful and underline your own creativity. Thank you for listening! ~Jon

[edenmaze]

Water Takes us home. Perfect 5 stars for YOU and YOUR music!

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

I appreciate the sentiment. Thanks...

[hillbillygill99]

cool sound guy :)

[xgemsx1987]

wow :) that was great! I especially love the guitar, it was beautiful :) 5*

Gem

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thank you Gem. I hope you will be posting more originals as well! Come give my others a listen when you can. I have some 3D animation (doodles I call them) you may like. Bye, Jon

[westeightyone]

Changing the words to "devilish angel"

would imply a more willing state of mind on her part.

That would be good.

Your lyric suggests that SHE can't help being bad/cold/hurtful towards YOU at times.If you truly BELIEVED that you wouldn't waste YOUR time appealing to HER better nature.She'd be good for a while,then bad,then good... You can't go on like that.

THAT's why you're singing the song in the first place.

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Hmmm... Let's just say we agree to disagree and leave it at that. But I REALLY do appreciate the concern and thoughtfulness of your commentary. Thanks again, Jon

[westeightyone]

My problem with "Got on a boat that sailed" is the word "BOAT".I'd have the same problem with "SHIP",

"RAFT","OCEAN LINER" or any other man-made floating device.

Your song suggests NATURAL imagery (ie:leaf in the wind,WATER WATER).The inclusion of a MAN-MADE device near the end of the song conflicts with the NATURAL

imagery established earlier.

[westeightyone]

The strong "A",weak "A" argument doesn't hold up.I didn't say you were pretentious.I said you SOUND pretentious when you sing AY as opposed to A.

If you were from the Bronx would you sing "Bewitched,BAW-DURD and BE-Wil-DUD"?

AY detracts from the word PRETTY.Pretty is the important word and it's strong enough to stand on its own.The same goes for AY DROP.DROP is the word to emphasize.

[westeightyone]

KNEW a tale of woe, gives the narrator emotional depth.Knew implies familiarity.He didn't just hear sad stories in the past.He cared enough to become involved with the person/people telling him their sad

story.KNEW speaks to his history of caring.He cared then AND he cares now.

HEARD is dismissive.He could have HEARD tales of woe in the past but that doesn't mean he cared enough to do anything about it.KNEW works just as well with TOLD

[westeightyone]

Try singing "DEVILISH Angels in war paint" and

"Never KNEW a tale of woe".

Try singing "Never knowing where WE might be... tomorrow"

as if you're wondering about the future of your relationship WITH the person you're singing to.

I hope you take these suggestions in the spirit I'm offering them.I am trying to help and you did ask for comments on the song itself.

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

"Heard a tale..." refers in continuity to the next line, "Told with such..." (telling and hearing). "We might be tomorrow...", hmmm... your best point. I felt this was more an ultimatum song and that our narrator was more concerned with his fate than hers. I do appreciate your input; it was one of the more thoughtful observations I have ever recieved. I am sorry if I do not agree with you, but I do consider all opinions and corrections from all listeners. Thank you, Jon

[westeightyone]

It's a pretty tune but I do have a few qualms about the lyrics.You sing "never heard a tale of woe" with

a normal "a" sound.That works.

Then you sing "But you don't have A drop to spare" and "How can such A pretty smile" with a disconcerting AY sound.That doesn't work.

It sounds condescending and pretentious.

"Got on a boat that sailed" is a clumsy line.

How about "hopelessly washed away" in keeping with your water theme?

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Wow... a REAL critique. I like that, although I must take issue with a few of your concerns. The strong A, weak A was resultant of my childhood regional dialect (Michigan). I tend to toggle between inflections naturally with little regard toward pretense. "Sailed" is an assonance rhyming scheme with "held" in the line before it. Besides, "got on a boat that sailed" is a common expression in my book; not a contrivance, plus it also is a "water" reference.

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

"Devils and Angels" illustrates the inner fight between her two halves. A "Devilish Angel" would imply a more willing state of mind on her part.

[hhhoo]

WOAH!,, i wish i had this song on my ipod, it's beautiful i love the lyrics, voice a bit shaky, but its really nice, could you send me does lyrics? just so i could read them they're azmzing , well for what i understood

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! The lyrics are posted to the right of the video; just click on the light blue "(more)" and you will find them. Thanks again, Jon

[REDNECKPEPI64]

i like the lyrics and the sound,great song!favorite

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Wow! Thank you for favoriting & featuring my songs! I really appreciate the support.

[RedKruzer]

very nice.

[soaringman]

all around,very good

[KrisShred]

Really beautiful! Good work Jon :)

[celestialsam]

You're right. He has an astounding voice:) This song is fab.:)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Astounding? You are really boosting my courage to do more. I have never liked my voice much.

[jjrbcr812]

great song

[tearskai]

i listen almost all your songs..but this and only wan i like..cos i like the guitar, very flowing..very nice..=)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thank you for listening to so many of my songs! I appreciate all comments.

[dizzxk1]

yeah, the song are very good, and you play very well!

Excellent, 5 stars!

[NewTubeBoy]

Your voice is like velvet, like it a lot. Comments on the song itself... to my "taste" it seems asymmetric, oval and with charisma; commercial music is symmetric like cubes and impersonal. I like the music with soul and yours have it, congratulations.

[Anjafa]

Loved it, excellent lyrics and melody..

[kuzy100]

You got some beautiful songs man. I know it might be your style of playing, but I can't help but think that you keep getting stuck on how to create a bridge and a chorus for your songs. I have to say though, it's magnificent stuff, I get drawn toward the screen when I listen to you

[celestialsam]

What a beautiful song. You have a marvelous voice.:)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thank you Sam... that was sweet to say. I just uploaded two more songs if you are interested.

[briennalauryn]

Cool song! You play guitar very well, whatcha talking about?! :)

[FlyingHorseKnuckles]

Thanks Brienna. I love all of your vids/songs. You should produce a CD and sell it on the Net.