How to love yourself in 8 really hard steps

[AlaanaBanana]

I think when people love themselves and are confident in themselves, theres something about them that I want. They are instantly beautiful no matter how they look.

[SydSings4Life]

Awesomee:)

[MiuMiuStormiGirl]

Way to go, girlfriend!!! Love this and you!!!! Thank you! And you know, we are not our size but who we are inside.

[Teter1236]

Awesome!!!!! Im gonna try it and hopefully it will work out! Thx lots!

[850martita]

You a top girl! And I truly love your ( australian) accent. People keep head up, we are great and noone and I mean noone have a right to judge us upon their own idea!

[shaharpaz]

well i thin your right mostly but your missing 1 very big point and i know you said you dont like those talks but im in an aproach that says lets put all the cards on the table and not hide stuff so for me the right way is to go all organic and its importent that it will be organic cause non organic veggies and fruits are less tasty !! so than once we understand that point the right way is eating allota veggies like 55% of our food and than 40% fruits and than 5%nuts try u wont regret !

[WholeMindedWellness]

I love your video! I am a Health Coach (but more accurately... a Life Coach). The MOST important thing about health, relationships etc, is loving yourself. Way to go! :-) I actually talk a little about this topic in the video that plays first on my channel. Thanks for the awesome inspiration you are giving all of these people. :-)

[ghsgh3]

I like this video and i think you've hit on some great points. i encourage health and that doesnt mean being a size 2 or 0. it can mean being a size that fits ur body type and what shape the Lord gave us.

[Everz19]

I loved this. Thank you for it. Its all common sense really, yet its nice to hear someone look happy and confident say it

[lauralikes]

lmaoooo "which is crazy cuz im not gay"

[felice7620]

hey, just wanted to say, this was a great video, i think your really amazing, i struggle with self confidence and accepting my size and how i look but you really showed that theres nothing to be ashamed of and actually you can be happier if you do accept yourself. i realise now that i've been punishing myself for the way that i am but thats something i cant change and if others accept me i can accept myself. thank-you so much you really made a difference to my day! x

[Girtoad]

I freaking love your voice and thank you so much for your tips. They help a lot.

[mgriggs415]

Thank you for this... I was on my husband's youtube.. and really trying to come out of my shell.. and I love this! I am at the point where I'm done punishing myself.. done trying to make everyone else happy, done denying myself... done thinking that putting myself down is part of being a lady. I was raised to be poised and polite.. but somewhere that got warped. Thank you for putting things into perspective.

[savethegreenforpower]

You are my hero:)

[rfaust5639]

You look like you are your natural body weight! And that is awesome!

It so easy to fall into the trap of negative self talk... one just has to keep working at it.

[blackmondae]

You are awesome. You are beautiful.

Amen.

[MelzThreeDaysGrace]

HUSBAND :O i originally thought you were like 18 y.o but you look 22 max

[MelzThreeDaysGrace]

HUSBAND :O you look about 20

[sofia950]

Wow you just gave a lot to think about. THANK YOU :)

[sofia950]

Wow you just give a lot to think about. THANK YOU :)

[tray3pound]

that was real mr.fat guy I respect det statement

[ebdelios]

You have beautiful eyes:)

[MissKatRob]

I definitely agree we should love ourselves, but I dont think we should act like obesity is ok. Im not saying we should insult overweight people, im saying we should be trying to get rid of the weight, because its unhealthy and lower's self esteem. And I know this cause I am overweight myself. (:

[rfaust5639]

@MissKatRob Obesity does not lower self esteem. It is the perception people have about obesity that lowers self esteem. I agree that it is a problem, but the media has made being fat undesirable. Some people are naturally fat - and that is a totally health and normal way for them to be. I think besides working on our bodies, we have to work on our minds and eliminate the misconceptions about body weight.

[stationwagonoflife]

Bloody Awesome, I Love this, You are Wonderful & True

[brainac0cult]

i agree with this lady. life is for enjoying and there is no point in fighting yourself. you will be much more successful if you treat yourself like a best friend.

[nofx9766]

Thank you!

[Bbabesz118]

Ahh i liiiiike you Natalie :)

[LazeezaForzane]

Natalie you are awesome! I find it really hard to love myself even though people tell me I am beautiful inside and out... ........I have a low self esteem issue which makes me seek approval from others and your video has helped me rethink my attitude to myself and my self limiting beliefs..........keep up the great work!

[bobbin321]

You are so, so, so, so, so, so, so fucking awesome. So much inspiration in less than 10 minutes!

[JohnWesleyMethodist]

My question is this: How do we accept ourselves, yet still want to improve ourselves? These two emotional states seem to be at odds with each-other. If we accept ourselves that seems to mean giving up our desire to improve ourselves. If we want to change then it becomes difficult to accept ourselves because we aren't what we want to be. Does anyone have a solution to this problem?

[JohnWesleyMethodist]

You are a very attractive woman Definatalie! Now accept this compliment :)

[DyingRogue]

Currently now, I'm struggling to love myself and to love the body that I was born with... By watching this video, I've gained my first step in achieving self worth. :'] ...Even now I'm tearing up.. I'm favoriting this video if you don't mind, also giving you thumbs up.

[xoxDamianAdorablexox]

This video was GREAT! It made me smile in some parts to, i guess i just gotta give myself that extra push to love myself more (: Thank You♥

[rlouisehakim18]

YOU are TOO cool...I hope TO take WHAT you SAID and TRY it OUT...i CAN be HARD on MYSELF. where DOES low SELF image COME from OR start?

[Masqueradia]

xD I think the last comment (probably your closing joke) made me laugh the hardest.

[janarnesinjente]

You are so beautiful (:

[jagara1]

You are so right about the eating what you want bit - I have found the same :)

Yoo've got a lovely attitude :D

[tiklmefancy193010xx]

you should read the beauty myth if you haven't yet, very relevant to what your talking about and really puts things into perspective.

well done!

[Sabriyah21]

Beautiful!!! Natalie you have the right idea I think I am going to try these , they really make since.

[freakintheband]

You rock, thank you. I am a plus sized girl and I have always thought that because I am fat that no one will like me but I read your blog, because I LOVE IT, and I leared that people do like me and they don't think I am a monster. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I freaking love you!

[favm360]

Thanks, but it's hard to love yourself when everyone around you (including parents) tell you that you are worthless, fat pig, useless, etc... I envy you and everyone who have learn to love themselves, I'm doing my best, but it's rather hard.

ps. Love that accent

[jakeruspanisaaccocoa]

ok this is amazing you are really pretty, and i am a guy. i am trying to convince myself that im an ok guy and this is helping sooooo much.

I virtually have no self esteem

[Melleaful]

That thing with accepting compliments are true! I feel a lot better about my self!

[Lopsided42day]

I can't believe this has only 9,000+ views. Oh right, the title says it's hard :P

[Animetalchick]

I love this video. You are so down to earth and honest :) you helped me with my self esteem. Thanks!

[makupa86]

my friend told me i was pretty once but i joked and said she was creepy. i REALLY regret it and i wish i was confident enough to compliment her back and thank her.

[LilPiperBuddy]

You are an inspiration! 

[EllieBaybz]

great tips, you're beautiful :)

[iEdward97]

This is great and definitely should be shared!!

[tereesa808]

Thank you so much. I've needed something like this. I've never been comfortable with my body. I've always been chubby. I'm a soon to be 10th grader, and I'm still chubby. I still hate my arms, back, stomach, and thighs. Although, I'm trying to overcome my hatred towards them. I run track and cross county, I'm faster than quite a lot of people.I eat normal portions. I don't really eat sweets and fats. And I still do not understand why I'm this way. It's so crazy!

[all4kimerald]

@tereesa808 we have the same situation. am trying to lose the weight to with sports & all. i don't understand why i'm chubby too, but its nice to know im not alone. (:

[Rachiiee1007]

You go girl! I've spent 50 years as an "over weight" male and have been force fed society's humiliation about being myself. Its the last safe prejudice! Screw them all!

I'm fine, their attitude sucks. You got this spot on! THANKS

[soignee]

thank you, this made my day. Acceptance can be hard, really.

[youraonkgrayx]

You've got a point; Thanks for clearing it up...How people should be more self confident; btw, your teeth are really straight

[sab628]

you have a lot of kindness in your eyes :D i love that !

[Tinaofthearena]

You're briliant! Thanks for sharing this. Good luck with the running!

[zippadeedooooda]

I admire you heaps!

I've searched everywhere for the answer but cannot find it! Can you help? I want to buy fineliners that can draw over watercolor.

I'm assuming I'll need to invest in some of the top of the line fineliners but have no idea which ones.

thank you so much.

Like I said... I really admire you. Everything you said here I agree with. My big one is the negative self talk too.

[lozer184]

very nice , you helped me understand some important things that i was forgetting like doing what i enjoy the most

[rickGamer]

Thanks for the video, I think this will help me with my confidence, I need to learn to love myself more. I lost a lot of weight years ago and I still feel like I'm fat and ugly even though people tell me I'm not, so these tips should really help me out.

Thanks again ^_^

[thelegendkillerdab]

your great thxx for the informations

[madarens666]

you are awsome ,thank you very much ;))

you are the best!!

[babycities]

its things like this that bring me one step closer to completely loving who i am. its a long process as you said, but im getting there. thank you for this. your accent is so cute omg haha.

[supermodelwek]

BEAUTIFUL, inside and out!

[Punchatori]

I don't think many children could eat intuitively. As a child I was expected to eat everything on my plate that my parents made for dinner. They would encourage me to take seconds and they were disappointed when I didn't finish my meals.

[RoseWhiteRoseRed]

and you grew up to realize that you only eat until you're full and not stuffed right? i know that's not to see that's the case with every person that is bigger by unhealthy habits, but we all have to come to our own conclusions...her advice is meant to be for adults and i think very positive and helpful for being living in the real world. it's not complacency...it's acceptance and the happier you are with yourself the better you'll make yourself.

[puusteblume]

thank you for sharing

[sweeth4796]

you are soo right! your beautiful and your awesome! I LOVE YOU!

[theonekai]

I love that clips and i love your words!

I wish i could feel like that.. but it isn't easy :(

I hope someday i will like my self too!

Greetz

[ihatehaliryduff]

I love you!!! its because people like you that I can be happy and be myself. have fun Natalie..be happy for the sake that you have loving fans!

[RockinAkemiChan]

How inspiring! Thank you, Natalie! I am very self-conscious of my body, but I'm going to try my best to love myself! ^_^ Thank you again!

[blyefinch]

this was so inspiring! thank you!! :)

[xamesm]

Great video. You can definitely make the 5km run.  I trained for and ran in a 5km race a few years ago at approx. 115kg (I'm quite fat). I beat about 40 skinny people!

I've gone back to walking now due to a knee problem, but I really miss running -- it's a great feeling once you can run a few kms comfortably.

[XoXoVANNAoXoX]

I love this vid! Thanks so much! I do that negative self talk too...I'm trying to work on that. I'm depressed and I have anxiety and it is very very very hard to be positive and be nice to myself or not be envious cuz others look the way I think I should look :) Thanks so much!

[cezaralove]

thank u very much for this vid!!

[Magpiebard]

Great across the board. Really lovely and an important message for EVERY size. I'm definitely going to have to track down your blog.

(And, as a COMPLETE aside - you look stunningly like the American Actress Hayden Panettiere!)

[arntu]

Love it!

[radsue]

You are friggin' amazing Natalie. This has made the biggest (no pun intended) to my depression today.

I hope to make it to your art exhibition tomorrow.

You are my new style guru ;-)

[thelipprint]

What a great video! I have to admit that I do the negative self-talk thing all the time, it's awful. Lovely to see someone out there with some genuinely helpful advice! 5 stars

[apfelpie]

Natalie,

thank you for posting this!! Loved point #4 especially - a lightbulb went on in my head at that one. It's crazy what we do to ourselves!

[MelancholyPi]

Fantastic! Thank you Natalie!

I think it makes all the difference hearing this from a big beautiful woman. I'm not the same size as you so it makes me feel stupid to feel bad about myself when you are so happy and accepting of yourself (and rightly so!).

[definatalie]

Oh no, my intention is not to shame you into loving yourself! It should be totally self motivated, and self rewarded. Everyone's going to be at different stages in their relationship with their body, within themselves, but as long as you're looking forward you are in a good place.

[howliboy1]

definatalie, i think you are a beautiful and smart. But i think you are doing a disservice by minimizing the health effects of obesity. "Plus sized" people have fat in large amounts surrounding their organs and filling their arteries/veins. If U look fat on the outside,imagine how ur insides look !! At the very least, obesity is directly linked to diabetes, heart failure, and circulation issues. Being obese is an early death sentence for most, and/or an early misery sentence.

[Pollllypocket]

omygoodness, you just made me feel 100 times better about myself in 10 minutes..

im going to try really hard on the negative one..i need to do it for myself:)

THANKYOU SOO FUCKING MUCH:D:D

[knystromrohan]

natalie - you are beautiful and i love your video. can't wait to read more about you.

body image is an important topic to me and i'm always happy to find other people who are honest and realistic about this issue.

thanks for sharing - more from you!

cheers,

kristin rohan

[ashleemaegan]

I'd really love to do a video response on this! To talk about my experience and stuff :) Well done on your channel btw! I haven't yet myself been able to make any "talking" videos as I dont know what to say...oh well, hehe.

Yay to you!!

[definatalie]

I'd love it if you did a video response, lady!!!

[beigeotter]

This was a wonderful second video. The steps you posted I think are applicable to everyone who ever criticizes their body, whether they are overweight or not. It's so sad, though, that we even need such a discussion (although it is imperative)--that the world in which we live has become so saturated with projections of the ideal body or the ideal look. The world is so focused on creating an ideal standard of beauty, that we often forget that it is not real. Look forward to your next video.

[definatalie]

Thank you! I am purposely not directly my language at only fat people, or whoever, because lots and lots of people have troubles with body image regardless of what they look like!

[zomb1etron]

Yay! I love this transition to vlogs for you. I really need to read that book...can I borrow it sometime?

[definatalie]

You certainly can! I should have just foisted it upon you at btub :P

[thesleepydumpling]

The black and white looks good too! Gives a nice retro feel.

The "no diet talk" one is something I've just decided to take on.  Even when it's other people talking about their diets, I'm going to either walk away or change the subject. It's just poisonous.

My doc still struggles with the no scales thing, even after over a year. But I REFUSE! I feel so much better since I made that choice.

[definatalie]

I had to make it black and white because the colour balance was all wack!

Shit gets rad once you start asserting yourself. HIGH FIVE!

[katrinaofawesome]

Just put that book on hold at the library. Thanks for reminding me to do so.

[definatalie]

I think you'll really enjoy it!

[Anya1976]

This is a really fabulous video, sharing it on my tumblrs and my blogs. :)

[knotsinherlaces]

#3 is important in so many ways. Wonderful vid!

[divabat]

whee!

Any tips for dealing with negative talk from others? My mother (and to an extent my dad) is super negative about anything - ask her about something and she makes it a personal failing of yours. She's especially catty about body stuff - "you would look so beautiful if you could lose your belly". ARGH! trying to talk some sense into her or stopping her doesn't work, she just complains about being shut down. welp?

[definatalie]

I have my own tips that I employ, but I think it'd be a YMMV sort of thing! I would love to do a video on responding to negative talk from loved ones, if that's ok?

[pruesaysit]

Great Vid... Glad it's provoked so much positive feedback! :)

[definatalie]

It makes me happy inside because deep down, people don't wanna feel bad about themselves. Horah!

[BeXau]

LVOELOVELOVELVOE

[definatalie]

elohellll drunk Bec!