Parent and Child have their place. No one of the three is better than any of them,it's more of a matter of how they are used. The Parent is useful for reestablishing order. The Child is great for having fun, learning, or intimacy.
I don't think that the Parent or Child states are bad. With some friends/collegues, it is a way to keep things stable, and can create structure. At your workplace where harmony is needed, having someone constantly play a Parent or Child role is sometimes unbreakable, and therefore filling the role of the opposite allows things to flow smoothly. That's just my opinion, though.
Some of the examples in this video are wrong. Most noticably:
Jack and Jill: "That proposal was hopeless! - Shut-up! ..." That is not a parent-child transaction, but a parent-parent transaction, because Jill is returning the blame.
And: "You're a jerk! - You're a jerk" -> This is not a child-child transaction, but again a parent-parent transaction, because both speakers are taking the authorative role and no one is backing down.
@christo930 I can see how you might feel that name calling is something that is typically ascribed to the behaviour of a child because it's something we see in every day life. In transactional analysis however "the child ego state" is not definded by "everything that a child does". The "controlling parent ego state" is definde by behaviror that judges and manipulates. Name calling is a judgement. And that's why the example in the video is incorrect. Watch Theramintrees video for more details.
@soulfuluniverse OK, I didn't see it like that, but I am just learning about it. I plan on buying the 'games people play' book next time I go to the used book store, so I will know more about it then.
@christo930 I can see how you might feel that name calling is something that is typically ascribed to the behaviour of a child because it's something we see in every day life. In transactional analysis however "the child ego state" is not definded by "everything that a child does". The "controlling parent ego state" is definde by behaviror that judges and manipulates. Name calling is a judgement. And that's why the example in the video is incorrect. Watch Theramintrees video for more details.
I liked your video. One thing though. The example you give at 2:50 is Parent to Parent transaction. The Child wouldn't fight when someone spoke down to him or her. Should Jill apologize, she would have assumed the Child role. But overall, nice video.
User "Theramintrees" has a insightful video series on this , to anyone learning this I would strongly suggest you watch his videos , they are concise and right to the point and further, explaining how to stop destructive interactions with others and bringing them into a more adult to adult way of interacting with those who always seem to be trying to put you into your child frame of mind, including the cross up, switch, and payoff. Very interesting for anyone trying to understand these states.
Parent and Child have their place. No one of the three is better than any of them,it's more of a matter of how they are used. The Parent is useful for reestablishing order. The Child is great for having fun, learning, or intimacy.
Wargoat6 10 months ago
Adult (Ah-Dalt). That was how you said Adult(Uh-Dalt). You must be from Briten.
kidsKILL123 10 months ago
You got a few of the transactions wrong
mark1983peace 10 months ago
I don't think that the Parent or Child states are bad. With some friends/collegues, it is a way to keep things stable, and can create structure. At your workplace where harmony is needed, having someone constantly play a Parent or Child role is sometimes unbreakable, and therefore filling the role of the opposite allows things to flow smoothly. That's just my opinion, though.
Nicenice404 1 year ago
A lot of users on Youtube need to see these videos LOL. Thanks for explaining it like a 5 year old =)
WhatSayestThou 1 year ago
Some of the examples in this video are wrong. Most noticably:
Jack and Jill: "That proposal was hopeless! - Shut-up! ..." That is not a parent-child transaction, but a parent-parent transaction, because Jill is returning the blame.
And: "You're a jerk! - You're a jerk" -> This is not a child-child transaction, but again a parent-parent transaction, because both speakers are taking the authorative role and no one is backing down.
soulfuluniverse 1 year ago 5
@soulfuluniverse Name calling is child behavior.
christo930 9 months ago
@christo930 I can see how you might feel that name calling is something that is typically ascribed to the behaviour of a child because it's something we see in every day life. In transactional analysis however "the child ego state" is not definded by "everything that a child does". The "controlling parent ego state" is definde by behaviror that judges and manipulates. Name calling is a judgement. And that's why the example in the video is incorrect. Watch Theramintrees video for more details.
soulfuluniverse 8 months ago
@soulfuluniverse OK, I didn't see it like that, but I am just learning about it. I plan on buying the 'games people play' book next time I go to the used book store, so I will know more about it then.
christo930 8 months ago
@christo930 I can see how you might feel that name calling is something that is typically ascribed to the behaviour of a child because it's something we see in every day life. In transactional analysis however "the child ego state" is not definded by "everything that a child does". The "controlling parent ego state" is definde by behaviror that judges and manipulates. Name calling is a judgement. And that's why the example in the video is incorrect. Watch Theramintrees video for more details.
soulfuluniverse 8 months ago
Great!
ReligiousFiction 1 year ago
I liked your video. One thing though. The example you give at 2:50 is Parent to Parent transaction. The Child wouldn't fight when someone spoke down to him or her. Should Jill apologize, she would have assumed the Child role. But overall, nice video.
mrmackization 1 year ago
User "Theramintrees" has a insightful video series on this , to anyone learning this I would strongly suggest you watch his videos , they are concise and right to the point and further, explaining how to stop destructive interactions with others and bringing them into a more adult to adult way of interacting with those who always seem to be trying to put you into your child frame of mind, including the cross up, switch, and payoff. Very interesting for anyone trying to understand these states.
theeAlphaOne 1 year ago 12
I saw some other videos and this was by far the best! thanks for the clear explanation!
josuegv2 1 year ago
very good video and "speech":)
MelitaDG 1 year ago
badass video
I was look for this
2 thums^
chrissychrismm 2 years ago
You seem a little confused about the split between parent and child states, and the two subdivisions within each state.
ChrisBovington 2 years ago
Nice examples : )
ErebusRed 2 years ago