Report: Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Grounds

[TheSolitaryTraveller]

I love how they are making fun of the government looking for excuses, as oppose to facts.

[glyphhunter]

The Onion is brilliant!

[canufi]

@glyphhunter it is called the onion because it makes you cry

[hockeybuzz555]

old man greenspan!! best part.

[Not1CEable]

I want a piece of that placenta..

[bitterpickles]

it's technically true

[cyanmanta]

Obama is soft on vengeful spirits!

[insight0011]

As soon as i read the title i knew this would be brilliant

[xJoeEDangerouslyx]

Starring as Lumiere in "Beauty and the Beast!" "No! No! No!" "Oh Yes! Yes!" "No! No! No!"

[Shroud66]

The Scooby political staffer gang and their mystery limo traveling around solving economic mysteries.

[1RiveraG1]

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? MY PLACENTA!!!!!"

[b0010100b]

MY PLACENTA!

[XpEAnUTBuTtERsUckSX]

Oldman Greenspan ROFL

[famouz73]

funny!!!

[TorontoPoet]

This is my favourite excuse for why Clifford Baines isn't there.

[vherring67]

12million exterminated.. Haunting

[vengefulbeauty]

The Indians are finally getting their revenge, even in death!

[MrSleepylk]

sometimes i wonder what ppl said to ger responses lik SigmalLambda, then i try to look for the comments then give up when i realize hes just the "dumbest fuckin shit" he has ever "herd"

[wholtone]

Congressman Harkin: "[Those kids] can spend all the time they want trying to decipher that scroll. It will be much more productive than nosing around the records of my meetings with financial industry lobbyists."

[ghostkid432]

I love how real they make these videos

[Saber10inch]

mitch mcconnel tearfully admits to kissing a pillow and pretending it was a woman!

thank you ONN i really needed to know that. now i can sleep knowing that im not the only person who does that

[mutopis]

but should we really be negotiating with a ghost?

[benbur69]

Wikiwama



[timothytia]

This is so dumb. These are the lies our government feeds to us now!!! It's because Obama is a muslim baby-eating nazi!!!!

[tommysch]

@timothytia WTF is your problem, everybody that does not drink the koolaid knows that he is a vegan communist. Its like Hitler and Stalin all in one, but black.

[HanZeroon]

Oh this explains american IQ level, lol

[guest062888]

@HanZeroon Don't be jealous that we're smarter than you and have more in depth/smart news shows to learn the truth unlike the lies on Canadian news.

[HanZeroon]

@guest062888 i'm totally jealous, in fact i might think about moving away from america even more. love how your government teaches you guys :)!

[gorillaman2000]

@HanZeroon cool story bro

[DrunkSoviet]

@HanZeroon

o pla han stop acting as if you Canadians are the only good thing about the Americas.... your country is a puppet to the USA and great britain.

[HanZeroon]

@DrunkSoviet you're drunk my friend from a nation that's not a nation anymore :)

[RobertsDigital]

whats this junk

[XxKuRoTsUbAsAxX]

@RobertsDigital The most important thing you will EVER see or hear in your life.

[HanZeroon]

wtf? omg! wth? What is this!

[yellowkrux]

@HanZeroon This is The Onion, Americas finest news source.

[5t3v3f0x]

its indian ghost lmoa

[RedscorpionCMD]

I feel like I'm watching MSNBC except that I'm also entertained.

[WarpeaceWar6]

well what the fuck is thiss. I don't want to find YesYouCan's comment

[redeemer1kamili]

Haha did anyone read the news paper?

[lan2050]

GET AWAY FROM MY PLACENTA!!!!

[hesrightbehindeyou]

two days later fox news is gonna say the same thing

[FabulousResults]

Dat Scooby Doo reference.

[HumanBornFree]

The Onion is fox's biggest competitor.

[6969dazzagazza]

@HumanBornFree lol.......although CNN and MSNBC are closing the gap on post-Cold War fearmongering corporate propaganda.

[canufi]

@HumanBornFree does fox have something like "in the know" or "today now".. I would like to see where onion got their ideas from.

[ammyanne]

Hahahaha!

[cyanmanta]

But for some reason, if you substitute God for Indian Burial Ground, it suddenly gains credence in the media. Funny how that works.

[nerdyharry]

@cyanmanta the US wasn't built on god...

[cyanmanta]

@nerdyharry Exactly.

[UniverseKeeper2]

Indian Spirits??

[megamantwelve]

WHERE ARE YOU CLIFFORD BANES!!!!!!!!

[jlotus100]

And Greenspan would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!

[kissit012]

I love Lumiere, go Clifford!

[muffinsNsausage]

Sentient fire alarm hates to wake you up but there may be a fire, maybe not, but he'd hate to not at least give you a heads up.

[doublexnchuck]

i love how they act as if this is a real issue

[Nevcuse]

@doublexnchuck They're great lol

[Zzyyxxyyxx]

Everything is an ancient indian burial ground. You just have to find the ground that isn't cursed.

[sp0nge1337]

@Zzyyxxyyxx Hawaii and Alaska then...

[xXSyn13Xx]

what about native americans...?

[alexhong100]

Good luck clifford banes, by the way ur show is doing great.

[tanpham7411]

Who ever took this seriously is really retarded!

[NeverMind9132]

BEST

[ru2213y]

Lol scooby doo reference

[JediBladeMaster]

This is funny and very saddening at the same time. What a painful reminder...

[Roflcopter4b]

@satv365 I wholeheartedly agree.

[MyPersonalVendetta]

Clifford Baines must be the shit!

[IndrasBlade77]

Wow...Onion people, look it up.....idiots.

[TheVozderazon]

GIVE ME SOME OF THAT PLACENTA!!

[KiIIroyWuzHere]

1:21 scooby doo plox?

[FuzzDog525]

@Awgez24

Did you see what I was replying to? In context, PC stands for 'politically correct'.

...Nubcake

[Wailwulf]

Obama is soft on poltergeists. LOL

[AcousticDreams0]

THE GHOSTS ARE DOING IT. I KNEW IT.

[afrojoe52]

@Roflcopter4b

You PC nuts are so annoying.

[Awgez24]

@afrojoe52 Youre on a PC, nubcake.

[w9j15g]

I knew it would all come back around to Obama. Obama you suck!

[BATCHARRO]

@Roflcopter4b  No.

[snewso]

drowning man & the sea gulls

[chukas88]

Drowning man festival in new jersey, please?

[yawehking]

I wonder who the 48 people are that didn't like this..

[SoulfulBrutha5805]

@yawehking Give it a bit. Someone will make the appropriately played out joke.

[HplusG]

Julianna is looking great. I prefer her over Brooke. ;)

[jedihunter176]

"Sentient fire alarm HATES to wake you up but there may be a fire, maybe not, but he'd hate to not at least give you a heads up"

Lol ticker

[BoomBox501]

@yesyoucan

I hope you are joking.

[YesYouCan317]

this is the dumbest fuckin shit ive ever herd in my life.. i really hope this isint real if so their children need set on fire

[SigmaLambda]

@YesYouCan317

you're the "dumbest fuckin shit" i've ever "herd" in my life

[mekore]

@SigmaLambda ten thumbs up

[CrestalMyth]

@SigmaLambda and @LongWindedUsername were given too much mouthwash by their mothers as infants. Some people just don't understand satire.

[LongWindedUsername]

@YesYouCan317

I think your mother smashed your head against a brick wall when you where an infant.

[annoloki]

@YesYouCan317 You should try reading your own stuff some time

[iambehindthemirror]

Save the placenta!

[wick2107]

Study: Majority of shame sexually transmitted.

[GrImR3aP3r916]

thumbs up if you skipped the add

[joostul]

Haha that picture XD

[Gasssolo]

Who you gonna call?



[corncornrocks]

in the know is always the best. Can't wait for clifford banes to come back

[alexd765]

"republicans want the curse to hold so that they can paint obama as weak on poltergeists" welcome back the onion...ive missed u so very much

[MistaMajikalMoshos]

It's funny because sometimes people from developing countries have yet to understand the Onion's a satircal news program. Remember when some chinese outlet took one of their stories seriously and actually needed to be convinced by the producers that they were fake - and later reported that the Onion is trying to 'trick' people? Google it.

[LtEggSalad86]

@MistaMajikalMoshos ha ha! really? that just makes the onion news even better. 

[xanabaal]

I would like to thank all those who took their time pointing out the Onion is fake. All these years, I've been fooled by articles about President George Clinton threatening to drop "Da Bomb" on Iraq, and videos about studies that prove stabbings are harmful to monkeys. But now we must focus on who is behind this terrible trickery. Republicans, the Trilaterial Commission, Red Lectroids??? We must find out!

[LeeHarveyOswaldStyle]

@xanabaal

I'll tell you who is behind all this tom-foolery. It's those damned Indian spirits!

[huskylovr1125]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww­wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww­wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwplace­nta

[mlonster]

this is clearly a sketch of some sorts.. ..and bad actors at that.

[MermaFX]

@mlonster

This is a sketch? Really? No, it can't be!

[VinnyDaQ]

This sounds like a case for...the Hardy Boys! Or at least Nancy Drew.

[Agremen]

wow Americans are retarded!

[Spitefox]

@Agremen And your retarded for not understanding Satire, or having no sense of humor.

[Agremen]

@Spitefox U need a big cock u say?

[RMToebben]

@Agremen You would've turned out better as a miscarriage.

[Agremen]

@RMToebben probably!

[DemiGodofDreams]

ahaw man they are bayk aren't they. shit :)

[wyrdwyrd]

Ah yes, *that* will fix the country's woes. Gimmie some o' that placenta action!

--

Furry cows moo and decompress.

[SpamBAT]

I have never seen Clifford Banes. Julianna McKannis must hate not having a permanent job with TheOnion. LOL

[blakelives0312]

"Get your hands off my placenta!"

[Awgez24]

@tctheunbeliever No it wouldnt.

[phinallee]

Love the cat in the picture!

[AtomicKennen]

Ghostbusters anyone?

[VoLCoMzYaDiGG]

Hey, this is more logical than what the politicians believe...

[bookercreator]

i hate the new "your reaction" thing..

Lol, omg, epic, cute, wtf, fail? Why youtube! WHY!?! Don't try to ruin yourself youtube!

[KillaTequilla83]

@bookercreator wut.

[aha45]

@bookercreator

Youtube (read: Google) already ruined itself with ads.

[somesanity1]

ehh. maybe i just wasnt in the mood

[Boxcutter7]

LMAO old man Greenspan!! On a more serious note, Alan Greenspan was one of the main contributors to the economic crisis of 2008.

[MissSevenpointsix]

Ahh, gotta love the scooby doo reference

[fimmelgrl]

'GIVE ME A PIECE OF THAT PLACENTA!' Hilarity.

[MrNosnitram]

I make myself feel better by muting the advertisements.

[mat3o2]

lol love the Scooby reference

[Rael0505]

"THAT'S MY PLACENTA"

[Rael0505]

LOL "republicans believe..."

[deekaygee33]

not INDIAN! (Indian= from INDIA)

the term is NATIVE AMERICAN, or First Nations

[thull21]

@deekaygee33 who cares

[Rael0505]

@deekaygee33 indian is acceptable terminology for native americans. if you have an issue with that, go back in time and tell columbus he was wrong.

[deekaygee33]

@Rael0505

He is wrong, its a fact.

[Rael0505]

@deekaygee33 Languages aren't static; they evolve. The meaning of words change depending on how they're used over the years. Indian is an acceptable term to refer to Native Americans.

[deekaygee33]

@Rael0505

yeah i guess thats true,

but i still find it a bit off.

[raptorkiller2k5]

@Rael0505. Indian isn't even an "Asian Indian" term. The term has a Greek/ Persian origin and referred to a land ( Indus Valley) largely within Pakistan.

[aquadonia]

@Rael0505 Columbus thought he had arrived in the East Indies, which is why he used the term Indian. Therefore: Columbus WAS wrong.

[Rael0505]

@aquadonia whyyyy do you give a fuck? god damn.

[tennyopallas]

that was so funny! I was laughing the whole frickin' time!

[VanXIInX]

They are good actors. If they were great actors they would make me believe they believe what they say.

[tennyopallas]

@VanXIInX i don't think any actors could actually make you believe they believed in that. or if they did, it wouldn't be funny.

[Visfen]

IT'S ANIMAL SPIRITS!

[KKME771277]

Why no Lauralee? :[

[Cnupoc]

:D :D :D :D THE INDIAN GHOSTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING !!

[LMGunslinger]

Thank god its back to normal, I was getting sick of all those stupid ass episodes that were coming out. Now my only question is where is the ORIGINAL CREW!!!

Also who ever it was that changed the onion should be beaten and shot.

[gangstarphil]

host of "barrodale and barrodale" LOL

[Tolstoievsky]

i already sympathize with the sentient fire alarm

[GeneralGoosey]

@Polynik2010 What, absolutely hilarious?

I must move to one of these countries.

[DonalLynchyou]

I miss Clifford

[xdirectorate]

i miss lauralee!

[formless777]

My placenta !

[B3Rit3]

Sorry that was @DeguGamingNetwork .. Read previous comment haha

[B3Rit3]

LMAO at @DaguGamingNetwork ... Couldn't have said it better myself :) yay Canada!

[K9Negative]

lol scooby gang

[803brando]

favorite'd :)

[TheVampireLucinda]

A lotta people mad in these comments...

[sonic218]

Ugh... Americans...

[DeguGamingNetwork]

@MercenarySlick Uh ... Canada invented the telephone. STFU, buddy.

Canada isn't owned by anyone. Where the hell do you think a large chunk of your country's imported natural resources come from? Take a guess.

We also invented the zipper, so next time you get your tiny troll dick caught in your fly, take a second to think of your northern neighbours.

[kushp89]

I want a piece of that placenta!!!!

[kookiegod123]

Whoops I thought this was Fox news for a second

[TheFakeBlood]

@kookiegod123 Guess this explains why so many idiots blame fox for everything, they can't tell what it is they are even watching ;)

[Nuclemaniac]

Kudos for the Scooby Doo references.

[beeblmeyer]

LOVED the cat.

[BRGxRandomHero]

old onions have more flavor than newer ones