Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Review)

[billyvince124]

i watched this. it's so stupid it's funny.

[SlasherDudexx]

I just bought the DVD for 25 cents it's the first DVD I bought in 2 years

[AvatarAndKataangFan]

I was just watching Batman: Brave and the Bold 'Invasion of the Secret Santas', in which aliens from Neptune attack the earth, because they want Santa for their children. Batman asks Red Tornado to look in his database for all christmas movies with aliens in it. "One reference found: Santa visits Neptune" (or something). I thought: Haha, no way that can be right :D.

[Xinathor]

That would've been great if Santa gunned his way out and escaped the Martians

[gameskyjumper]

2:05 other than the English version, all other newspapers have no article about Santa or Martians. They are just so cheap that they cant try to make a real one.

[guncannon109]

Okay I just got the DVD, but I forget, how do I select stuff on the main menu again?

[musicMan1445]

Man I want to santa go ape shit on some martians

[Mikemaniax]

I don't know, I just watched the other "Santa Claus" movie, and I think that one is just a tad bit stranger. How about "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians vs. Santa Claus". Seeing 2 different Santas fight each other. Now that would be epic!

[psovegeta]

Santa Clause and Prince of Space vs. the dictator of Krankor! Heh heh heh heeeeeeeh

[Orcdudez]

I would like to see "Santa PWNS the internet"

[SoleMan117]

I would pay good money to watch "Santa Claus pwns the internet" Hell, I would make it!

[Soundwave401]

They're actually playing this in my county today. XD

[jesus77755]

Santa Paws

[NoitaTollacia]

"Santa Claus vs. Satan's Claws"

[epicsmiley9000]

"dont you think that was funny?"

no santa...



[cjwilliford1964]

To sum up this review in three words: Strangest. Movie. Ever.

[LegoKing345]

kidnap mr sandy claus?

[100percentgamer]

I want to see Santa Clause pwns the internet.

[sfighter991]

I also watched this movie yesterday along with "Santa Claus", I can safely say this is the campiest Christmas movie ever made. Your right James, we more oddball Santa Claus movies, like "Santa Clause vs. The Easter Bunny", "Santa Claus in the 23rd Century", "Santa Claus vs. Easter Bunny vs. Godzilla vs. Frankenstein vs. Whatever", or "Santa Claus in New York".

[Nagneto]

Santa Claus VS The World.

[321jordanb]

DO A REVIEW ON CHRISTMAS VACTION

[2rik7]

2:05 There is Polish newspaper called "Życie Warszawy". It have nothing common with Santa Claus. It about death Polish politician Aleksander Zawadzki. I see that budget of this film was very, very low.

[TheBestComicKing]

Santa vs. Satan

[kallemick]

@TheBestComicKing i think thats the 1959 movie "santa claus"

[AlexReynard]

FUCK YEAH, I love this movie and have defended it many times. One of my favorite parts is how, every time the little girl speaks, it's the most perfect stating-the-obvious possible. Like, after the bad martian with the Frank Zappa mustache tries to murder them by blasting them out the airlock: "You don't like us!" I wanna guzzle eggnog and watch this along with Scrooged and Rudolph.

[Honeydew7396]

Kidnaped?

[JamesRandomThingys]

Santa Claus vs Freddy Krueger! That would be epic! :D

[samplingrate]

I do own it on DVD, and yes, it WAS a dollar.

[UNKNOWNCOMICBEV]

Santa vs Aliens vs Predators that i would like to see

[ManticoreFire]

Santa Claus PWNs the Internet. Best idea ever.

[Weride23set]

69 cents at walmart it looked bad so my siter got it for my Dad

[natopower1]

"Mecha Santa Does Your Mom, Your Sister AND Your Girlfriend In The Same Night!"

[lenrat117]

santa vs Nicholas Sarcozy 

[Terminator80085]

"Santa Claus Does Your Mom!"

[Mechamortal]

Santa, Krishna and the Mummy:

Santa and Krishna bring Christmas cheer to Egypt, but an awakened Pharoah mummy who hates Christmas tries to halt them in their tracks so a shitstorm enues.

[njduran]

I remember this being on at 3 in the morning.

It was... cool...

[Bolt2600]

i saw this at a salvation army store hidden in a corner and picked it up, saw the cover, thought of this video, and threw it back on the floor XD

[PlutoandthePlutons]

I bought this movie as part of a 50 movie sci/fi pack at Wal-Mart for 10 dollars. Epic win.

[ChristianU2ubeh]

He was kidnaped by the Martians.

[zenophas]

I want a tickle ray as a sex toy for my porns.

[Supercharge87]

I'm watching this movie on local television right now. I think it's part of Elvira's Movie Macabre.

[yodibrodi]

the 60's sucked.

[heartkiller1974]

santa claus vs boba fett

[LoneWolfSquall3000]

@bondomaniak

Aleksander Zawadzki (politician 1899-1964)

was a fucking communist and before WWII he was an anti-Polish conspirator, member of the Communist Party of Poland.

Fuck him in his assss

[lazercatFTW]

I got it for my brother for Christmas 2 years back, I literally got it on DVD for a dollar over at the target clearance rack

[WebVManReturns]

Santa Vs Terminator

[nastyGriffin]

i have the MST3K version thought it was good

[ChristianU2ubeh]

@nastyGriffin MST3K makes every movie good.

[NavajaRojo7]

lol the martian children at the end were using lead-based paint on their faces

[flippymaster02]

santa claus vs godzilla

[bondomaniak]

2:06

WTF

"Life of Warsaw. With regret and sadness Polish nation mourns Aleksander Zawadzki."

[vincent6445]

Santa Claus vs. Internet Trolls

[scatzilla99]

@vincent6445 Someone fund this goddamned movie right fucking now.

[zzyzx0788]

Looks like the robot from the old SNL Robot Insurance commercial.

[LEGOmations0091]

On the newspapers, "Kidnapped" was spelled with one "P". EEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIL­LLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

[Smallvillenerd]

LOL press 8, that says it all

[Smallvillenerd]

That's what i want to see, Al Qaeda kidnap Sanata and he makes a heroic escape and kicks their ass with his fighting skills he learnt in the Vietnam War. How About:

Santa Claus takes on Al Qaeda

or

Santa Claus Kicks Some Ass

[XxGaMeGLItChErZxX]

TICKLE RAY FTW

[Hmmfomtgal]

press 9 for laughing psycos

[Efri3nd]

This was on Elviras Movie Macabre

[JordanRynes]

Thumbs Up (the video) if you watched for more typos in the opening credits.

[SonicThunderBYG]

"Tough luck, Pitch".

[tacospartan]

I liked the part about Pitch

[VictorVonFox]

AVGN must not know about the star wars christmas special

[gonemushrooming]

@2:04, no he gets "kidnaped" by the martians.

[juventinorocks]

1:29 Sorry, i did a mistake

[juventinorocks]

Pause at 1:31....Is that, Jonathan Loughran He looks so much like him, especially if you have seen "Little Nicky" The mustache he has....reminds me of him.

[loadedjogger]

this sounds like one of those movies that would be on mystery science theater 3000

[iamsocoolzy]

So the world suck because they don't have Santa? How bout the lack of water or Oxygen?

[deathconceal1]

There's only one thing this movie left out to be perfect.

*beep beep beep beep beep*

Santa: WHAT THE FUCK?!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

[misterprickly]

I would PAY to see a Pixar (or Dreamworks) remake of this film.

[darklightundead]

We need Movie called: "Santa owns Halloween!"

[NodDisciple1]

@darklightundead Would it be a sequel to "Nightmare Before Christmas?" :?

[darklightundead]

@NodDisciple1 IDK maybe, Maybe not but we need a movie like that.

[SaxophoneOfTime]

My dad got this for me and my brothers because he saw it was one of the worst movies ever made, my dad is awesome.

[NodDisciple1]

@SaxophoneOfTime MST3K version, Cinematic Titanic version, or just the regular film? :?

[felphero]

"Santa Claus annihilates human kind" would be cool too!

[Skullhunter1180]

most epic title EVER

[BioMechGlitch]

I actually got this movie in a DVD box set with about 9000 other horrible scifi movies for about 2$

[NodDisciple1]

@BioMechGlitch Awww, I wish I knew where you got that. It sounds awesome. :(

[seankinsellasean]

178 people are custums disigners

[AaronWii1]

James you are my inspiration! Keep goin!

[NodDisciple1]

Yay, this was on MST3K! XD

[twibkidx]

Santa Claus Galaxy!

[TomboTime]

the old man of mars reminds me of Shang Tsung from mortal kombat

[PhillT1988]

Santa Christ would have been better

[MegaMonsterZilla]

Santa Claus Vs Godzilla would be interesting

[ECL28E]

How about Santa Claus Vs. The World?

[somerandomteen]

Haha, I have this on DVD and whenever I take a vacation up to upstate new york for christmas to see my dad, we watch this movie. It's as ridiculous as it sounds.

[zenthex1234]

the word "pwn" is a parody of a common typo of the word "own", and therefor is pronounced "own" as opposed to "pone" the way you pronounced it...

[emmmjf]

@zenthex1234 the internets disagrees



[zenthex1234]

@emmmjf well there's no generally accepted pronounciation, but my theory is pretty rock solid...

[emmmjf]

@zenthex1234 yeah, i see where you're coming from, but i reckon it has a life of its own now. For example, it would be silly to say it has a life of its pwn now. It's the only way you can differentiate from plain old own when you're speaking

[TheGreatCrow]

I just realized I bought this ages ago (along with 49 other Sci-fi "classics") I started watching it and I'm already laughing my ass off.

[SuperYouMustDie4321]

I am forever scarred!

[mikenike123454]

Santa needs an intergalactic lazer gun. That would actually make this movie worth watching!

[Shadowfang3000]

"Kidnaped"? D:

[ATARI2600MAN]

Santa Claus..... Conquers The Martians. What a mix.

should of been Santa Claus Rapes Uranus

[Rubberman202]

The kids laughing in the movie make me cringe, because it's such a fake laugh!

[LadyGenevieve]

the last 3 seconds don't sound right at all

[jordanv78]

Good lord this movie looks awful. I'm surprised I've never heard of it. Great review James!

[WarriorsNumber30]

You were right, I found this in my local dollar store!

[johnianflores]

that's no robot...that's BENDER from futurama!!!!

[ThatGuywhoSpillNerd]

We need "Santa spams the PS3/X-Box 360" or something.

[noone123567]

'go down to earth and steal our santa just because they dont have one of their own'

but i suppose america sucking up the World's resources in no way illuminates a subtle irony therein.

[TheBromandude]

The Return of The Santa's Revenge IV

[Yuki1413]

i remember watching this on t.v the other day, this movie is fucking crazy!

[PJs920]

John Call did great as Santa. Too bad it was his only role in a movie ever.

[Gossipnastar]

WELL DON'T U THINK THAT WAS FUNNY?! yes Santa....

[carlosperezvidal]

the opening title sequense of santa conquers the martians looks ike that captain spaulding commercial

[SyckLegz120]

Madness? THIS. IS. SANTA CLAUS!(conquers the martians.)

[mar3D1]

Freddie vs Santa

[boeingnz]

Santa vs Predators, that's what t want to see.

[guy27677]

Hes our Santa ya fucking martains

[simonorman]

You should review "The Pit" (1981), James.

[zooeyhall]

I actually saw this movie in the theater when it came out back in 1964, when I was seven. I remember thinking, even as young as I was, that "this is ridiculous!".

[SimpleAndObscure]

Oh god, I have to watch this next time I find something to intoxicate myself with xD.

[siggy16]

Go watch the Mystery Science Theatre 3000, episode of this

[TheLakabanzaichrg]

hooray for santa claus sounds like chick habit

[phatclimber27]

:O *runs out the door to get to the nearest oxfam shop to buy....*

[dudester21397]

this is on youtube, its promoted XD

[IggyHazard]

Who do you side with when the supposed "good guy" is a pedophile?

\8-o

[comecadonolestelle]

at 2:07 they show 2 italian newspaper and they obviously didn't mention at all Santa or martians in the title...Actually they report mr.Segni bad conditions...wtf?

[afeeder]

@comecadonolestelle

The Polish one is about "With grief and sadness the Polish nation bids farewell to Aleksandra Zawadzkiego"

Zawadzkiego died in 1964, the year this movie came out, so apparently they just inserted random real foreign newspapers in between the fake English ones. But honestly, would you really expect anything else from this movie?

[Malasawas]

Don't you think that is funny?

YES SANTA...

[nickelbackattak]

i'm slow,who or what is mst3k

[sillygrl23]

LMAO! Best Joel-related episode from Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever! And the best part is as bad as it could be, its doable to actually watch this movie without the MST3K riffing and live to talk about it. That was my Christmas memory this year :)

[jrv60]

if u didnt reveiw a christmas story you should that movies epic lol

[thatdoomguy666]

This movie is only watchable when MST3K is commentating it.

[N00bM]

I know the guy who made all the camera work and stuff and even he admits that the movie was/is shit!

[FuckWorkdays]

Pause at 2:05 . They've misspelled "kidnapped"

[MdMedia21]

tickle ray 1962 = vibrator 21st century.

[DarthVenge]

Santa: "Look at me, Santa Claus the great toymaker..."

Tom Servo: "...Stuck on a planet with no booze."

[SketchyMaster777]

"a Holiday Cult Classic." Is AVGN Atheist?

[14rock9]

@SketchyMaster777 no

[SketchyMaster777]

@14rock9 what is he, I must know.

[14rock9]

@SketchyMaster777 im not positive what he really is, but since his winter episodes always involve christmas, he must be christian or catholic. he just makes sure not to single out the others when mentioning them

[sicilianeye]

LOL! I actually saw this movie in a theater...

[UltimateDumeandGwen]

i found this on DVD, for .50 cents, but i didn't pick it up

[SonicSnail95]

2:56

I think Linkara said it best....

"ahahahahahaha, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH­AHAHAHA, WE NEED AN ADULT! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

[JonnyInfinite]

SANTA PWNS THE INTERNET WOULD BE AWESOME

[theguyyouate6]

@JonnyInfinite Shut the fuck up you dumbass

[emmmjf]

@JonnyInfinite yeah, I was just about to write that comment

[TheXiaping]

@JonnyInfinite I have to say, I've never laughed at anybody's comment until I saw yours. Thanks for the laugh!

[GangsterJoe101]

@JonnyInfinite id pay good money to see that and Santa Claus dominates the universe

[ninjacarota]

Epic, so epic movie of fuck shit dick inverse hard cock of fool fuck fucken fake fuck...

[ElderOfMars]

I was the old wise man, I was extremely drunk that day.

[TwilightPrincess68]

Girl:"I see a martian!"

Boy:"Who are you?"

Martian:"We're from Mars."

[nightbane2]

@TwilightPrincess68 The Boy is a idiot and so is the Martian.

[Lupucillo]

This has to be the cheesiest film in history. It even got riffed in Mystery Science Theater 3000

[Finanzo1986]

Custume?!

[balrog13571]

It's on TCM this month along with Santa Claus (the one with Merlin and the devil who doesn't like ice-cream that he also reviewed).

[lilrowyravenclaw]

Santa Claus pwns the internet XDDD <3

[flyinportopotty]

i found this at the 99cent store. this movie is super corny but it is kinda funny at some parts

[Budalanakub]

kidnap the sandy claws

lock him up real tight

throw away the key and then

turn of all the lights

[Jewtube0101011]

"Kidnaped"

[FrostyInfern0]

naaaaaaa your faking

[Tvtech9]

Martian: We're frm Mars

*Kids go with the strange man*

[KirbyCow360]

I WOULD WANT TO SEE SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE INTERNET. SUCK IT AL GORE, IT'S SANTA'S NOW BITCH

[MoviesinMaking]

178 Martians watched this video.

[AMERICANxxPSYCHO]

typo at 2:05, it says "kinaped"

[Ralrykam]

lol I own to MST3K version of this movie. Definitely easier to watch that way

[KindomOfHappiness]

lol "You might be able to find it on DVD... for a dollar." Well, I just looked it up on Amazon, and it's 8 bucks.

[rayblack2004]

1:39 LOL

[spaghetticat2]

i could only make it 30 minutes through that movie... that was so bad lol... so very very very bad

[3amapplecam]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHA!!!!

[KingOfCoolio]

Santa conquered 178 martians.

[Yoshi2186]

Like it was said, I actually found this movie. For 1 dollar.

[Final1x]

@Yoshi2186

liar.

[Yoshi2186]

@Final1x Actually, it's true. The One Spot at Target had it that day.

[Final1x]

@Final1x

luck.

[DarkDragonas]

Mystery science theatre 3000 did this movie. im watching it right now