Retsufrash Metroid Elements (1/2)

[LaughingUltros]

First two minutes and the guy already fucked up, there is no bottomless pits in Metroid, ever.

Put some lava in there if you want to make death pits.

[patq911]

Can anyone tell me which voice is slowbeef? I think the other is diabetus. To make it simple, the one who talks first, who is that?

[grottypissedstained]

@patq911 It's Slowbeef.

[GCQProductions]

So, the dude just did low quality covers of music from Prime. Real classy.

[RivieraGaming]

He posted the link to this video in the description on newgrounds now XD

[Zaidon7]

They're making fun because the planet is called WAD3? Aren't the other planets named SR388 and stuff like that?

[Windtrouser]

@Zaidon7 It's just SR388 and K-2L that are like that as far as I know.

[baconlabs]

Jesus christ, the c4 joke made me spit my gum across the room

[ShijrakiCostominso]

Interestingly enough, they are LP'ing the game right now.

[NeoTStyle]

WELCOME TO METROID ELEMENTS

[RobotKing27]

9:33 TELEPORT!

[Enigma1790]

@RobotKing27 TELEPOAT

[KingdomHeart723]

6:02 aquaired Dash.

[JDWtri]

There is a sequel done prime style... it's as good as it sounds.

[lich109]

@JDWtri I played it, it's still a lot better than this, not that it takes much.

[grottypissedstained]

I'd love to see you guys retsufrash Super Smash Flash.

[Zknight7126]

I played this once, I quit 5 minutes into it.

[meckrisa]

1:38 Diabeetus said he screamed just after the guard from Arrival In Hell (playing in other tab) screamed, lol.

[bboyfallout]

i play this game for free online

[Nodrog666]

Samus acquired teleport!

[hobowright]

6:46

[grottypissedstained]

Kuribo shoe, ha ha.

[KingOfKatamari]

Welcome to Metroid Elements!! *death* Oh... there are... one-hit kill pits in here.

[HGAlchanii]

W.A.D. actually describes the game. Watered Anything Down.

[EdmacZ]

2D Metroid...with bottomless death pits.

Yeah...this is a winner.

[120starproductions]

This Boss is brought to you by the letter C! LOL

[thevisualboy37]

The "narrator" is actually a Text-to-Speech voice.

[EponymousKid]

Yo homes, to Norfair!

[NiceHotCupOfBro]

Lower Norfair choir should've just said "Fuck it" midway through and stopped singing. Just like that one with the glaringly obvious cursor.

[Ortuxerno]

I just had to try this game to see how the controls felt for myself and, oh my god, Slowbeef was really not kidding when he said the jump controls were just horrible. Also, I found out you can glitch through the floor in room b9 and fall to your death.

[zzyzx0788]

"This boss is brought to you by the letter C!" Lol

[EponymousKid]

Does shinesparkinf make an appearance in this game, slowbeef?

[Seth2378]

Samus what do you feel about this...

"Screams"

Me too

[Goldbloodeddragon]

6:47 you just lost

[TheBreadBoxer]

Please, I beg of you, Slowbeef, play Metroid Genesis. It's a goddamn rail shooter. That's bad enough without all the other horrible parts.

[TheLateDarkWobbuffet]

Well... it's got better voice acting then Other M.

[HouseLyrander]

@TheLateDarkWobbuffet And gameplay. And writing. And controls. And visuals. And coding.

[MightyKombat]

Hang on, hang on, why is this game called Metroid ELEMENTS? I mean after playing through it myself, there's no instance of Samus making use of the 4 elements of fire, earth, water and wind or the honourary element of lightning. Maybe its because it uses classic elements from the Metroid games. Like Metroids, upgrades, exploring, Samus undressing in her game over scene, Ridley and an escape sequence.

[silverwing789]

@MightyKombat Or the Periodic Table... Well it doesn't mention them at all anyways.

[MightyKombat]

Samus' suit might be made of some sort of element.

[silverwing789]

@MightyKombat Well it was made by the Chozo so we don't know what it's made out of... And it's a possibility. The game has nothing to do with Elements in the first place. That's pretty bad when you can't even trust the tittle...

[MightyKombat]

You don't even get a sexy pic of Samus when you beat it real fast or whatever. The least they could do is give the fans some titty or something.

[ElderOfMars]

I've seen Super Mario World hacks with more credibility than this.

[kingbooforums]

lol

[zzyzx0788]

This boss is brought you by the letter C

[greyspot00]

I can't stop laughing at the boss commentary :D

[d01hazel]

Couldn't you just sequence break this whole game by uninstalling Half-Life, Hammer, and any other GoldSource game on your computer?

[scatzilla99]

@d01hazel huh.

[d01hazel]

@scatzilla99 Truth be told, I don't know what the hell I was referencing there.

[RonnyWho]

or.. is he wearing braces?

[RonnyWho]

has the guy playing the game have a lisp or somthing? i dunno somthin about the way he speaks kinnda pisses me off.

[Schaedelsammler]

Quality control nonexistent -.-

[MightyKombat]

On the bright side, you guys aquaired the Morph Ball and all that. :D

[freezingicekirby]

*Reads the description about more "Real-Deal RP's" coming soon*

...We're waiting Mr. Slowbeef.

[umbaupause]

it's metroid on ice.

[Firebrand101]

This game was a huge letdown because General Dysisda didn't make an appearance.

[WatchThisReview]

Well, the real Metroid franchise had worlds like SR388... Not including the worlds made up for Captain N: The Gamemaster which had equally absurd names. The floating effect seems cool. It's hilarious that fall = death despite being over another floor. LOL AT LAVA BOSS! The game is really High Jump-larious!

[lisvender]

I watched the Justin Bailey hack lp after this one, thinking it might make me feel better.

It didn't.

[DJCalusTracks]

@lisvender Just picture Samus 'spelunking' throughout this game.

...Oh god wait nevermind.

[zektong]

Title: Metroid elements 1/2. Description: Once again, if you don't want to wait for parts 2 and 3...

[Bluerage98]

This has to be like... The best Metroid game ever!

[Arceus9295]

RETSUPURAE MAKING A LET'S PLAY

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD D:

[blargyblargster]

@Arceus9295 You do realize that Slowbeef, Diabetus, Proteus... pretty much anyone who does stuff with RP is an LPer right?

[KingOfKatamari]

@blargyblargster You realize it was probably sarcasm, right?

[blargyblargster]

@KingOfKatamari Well, emotions and connotations can be hard to convey through text. It could have just as easily been a sarcastic comment as it could have been someone who honestly didn't know. Either way, that was 7 months ago. Not really a big deal anymore.

[jewtal1ty]

@blargyblargster Hell, slowbeef basically CREATED letsplaying

[Icerama108]

@jewtal1ty He did create lets playing.

[KingOfKatamari]

@Icerama108 And yet all the critics fail to realize that.

[feh2]

@blargyblargster

CARE METER..LOW

[blargyblargster]

@feh2 Very clever. Have a nice day.

[feh2]

@blargyblargster

no you

[blargyblargster]

@feh2 I will, thank you. It's great that we can be such good friends like this, isn't it?

[SalvageSho]

This is Metroid released for the MSX.

[KevinLetsPlayFrance]

@SalvageSho Oh, I c wut u did tahr

[tailsiscool666]

omfg trask nair wow

[shimazu32]

This game would've been twelve times more awesome if that had really been Kuribo's Shoe.

Unfortunately, 0.0 awesome multiplied by twelve is still 0.0.

[Veruon96]

Microsoft Sam dialogues FTW!

[DD2225]

That background color reminds of old Atari games, how the background changes color when you go into a different room or zone in the games for that old game system.

[boothesquirrel]

Every flash game is floaty as shit, thats why they all suck

[Moley87]

INCREDIBLE FUN

[CrashBandicoot4Ever9]

@Moley87 Navgtr was wrong (Then again when isn't he wrong?), this ISN'T incredible fun.

[DayBreakization]

00:15 Wait... that's not a voice actor, that's SPEKONIA! Wow.

[unfunperson]

one of your better works

[Ronnyman]

Sounds like Fanny from Horror screaming whenever Samus dies.

[DrKrullivan]

Loved it.

[Nouseeker]

this was painful to watch

[JacobX89]

The site they uploaded the whole thing to doesn't work for me. Anyone else have this same problem?

[NeverForgetWizet]

Alright, let's do "Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom" next.

[Wolfcat22]

*Pauses Video*

*Holds left*

Holy crap...I never knew about that before. o_O

[EMike07]

"Aw, Games of Gondor is my favorite... games."

"Yes."

[zzyzx0788]

This video is hilarious, but that website in the description is fucking horrible. I wish you guys coulda just uploaded the whole thing on youtube right away

[nitemaricv2]

@KiloReborn electrical beast the samus of lets play

[NiceHotCupOfBro]

@KiloReborn TELEPORR'!

[MadSurge]

@MadSurge Meet 'n' Fuck Kingdom. We do meet again.

Nice to see that your game is related to bad porn simulators, that's the index for a masterpiece of a game, isn't it? And what a game it is!

...I need to replay some real Metroid, just to feel less filthy after watching this...

[nsnhiteex]

Limbo looks like ass compared to this.

[Halibut86]

i'ts the kuribo shoe :D

[FEfan56]

Actually all the Nintendo Seal of Quality does is basically say the game won't shit up on you and just not work entirely, Nobody actually reviews the game and decides it's quality is good enough for Nintendo

if that seal didn't exist though, this shit could have been the original metroid.

[SugarStrangler]

LMAO this is brought to you by the letter C xDDD

[zombierobopirate]

love RFs!

[UncleNumbers]

It's called Elements because its like Photoshop Elements. It's a Metroid Lite that you don't want and is hardly usable.

[Paratroopa1]

I'm still trying to figure out how the password itself has more characters in it than the number of events in the game that can be saved.

[RedSalamander]

"Don't complain if the game is too hard. Every boss has a weakness." Yeah, the Zelda worm with Cut Man's scissors for a head is impossible. Ducking and pressing fire? Naw, that's gonna make the player complain too much to the programmer.

[flamingbunnyrabbits]

GO UP THE TICK TOCK CLOCK SAMUS.

[sagacious03]

Goddamn, this game is gonna be bad, isn't it? Seriously, why didn't they put in a menu so you could turn things like High Jump on & off?!

[johnroche]

You guys truly are the Jolteon of Retsuflash.

[Cypres1]

wtf is this? resuprue doing commentary of flash games? come on...

[Wolfcat22]

@Cypres1 This has been going on for at least a year now. They're called retsufrashes.

[Xelger]

You guys do know that the YouTube time limit is now 15 minutes, right?

[PlorabateAnomaly]

@Xelger Slowbeef probably already divided the video into three parts beforehand, or, like the last one, promised it'd be in three parts.

[Xelger]

@PlorabateAnomaly Yeah, that could be. I was just trying to make sure though just in case they didn't realize the change. It's difficult to tell who all knows about it and who doesn't since that change is somewhat new.

[xplay108]

RF Meet and Fuck Kingdom!

[CasualVideoGamer]

Samus "aqua"ired Telepor'! Grahaha!

[riga10]

you knows theres a problem when evading pits is harder than the bosses

[Chavtheworld]

Haha this looks hilarious.

[GoldPlatedDildo]

I cant wait to see the comments.

"This game is shit, your shit. I hate you so much 10/10"

[VromNath]

This is fucking terrible! Can't wait for part 2.

[ShadowGatex]

@VromNath Why don't you just follow the link in the description and watch it all now?

[slowbeef]

@Myrmidion51 - I swear it's the controls. That said, I voted up your comment.

[xplay108]

@slowbeef I can back this up. I've played this before, and the controls feel like they were coated in butter and lube.

[UmbreonMessiah]

It says something when the original Metroid, made over 20 years ago, is better than this sack of crap.

[Myrmidon51]

So, there really isn't a Metroid game Slowbeef can't suck at.

[DayBreakization]

@Myrmidon51 I don't know, he was pretty good at Super Metroid.

[OrderofMertuary]

@Myrmidon51 He sure did well on that Metroid Extinction game! LAWL :P

[Cooliespy345]

"Welcome to Metroid Elements!"

*Slowbeef dies*

[MGlBlaze]

As a metroid fan, this game makes me cry.

One-hit-kill bottomless pits in a metroid game. The entire game controls like there's ice everywhere even though ice isn't meant to be slippery in metroid. The enemies just drain your health if you stay in contact with them. "Speed Booster" is now "Dash". Bad level design. The controls seem pretty awkward. The jumping is AWFUL.

Excuse me, I need to go play one of the Metroid games I have again to remind myself it's better than this crap.

[CleaveTheDragon]

I see Team Ninja is making some good progress.

[axelleag]

TELEPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­

[shenronlock]

Yeah, I remember the instant death pits in the real Metroid games OH WAIT! Also no explanation for where her powers in the last game went, but to the author's credit, Nintendo has the same problem... :/

[Rogueofmv]

"Yes, but those are not bombable blocks."

fucking bendezium man

[3131222]

I bet "Games of Gondor" thought they were totally fucking epic using that Ridley's Lair midi as the background music for the entire game

[bmylyzgtsqyfw]

Controlling your jumps is overrated anyway

[RockEsper]

...jesus...

[Doggie501]

lol at 1:38

[GigaBoost]

I love you guys

[AcetheGolden]

Crap's not an element.

[PocketEmerald]

Slowbeef, I was watching your Metroid Prime LP and noticed that part 3 is missing. Just figure I would let you know.

[Teeg32]

Is it bad that when he made that jump cut towards the end I thought "SNES9X"?

[EkkuZakku]

@Teeg32 SNEX9X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SilverEnchantress]

The first boss looks less like Kindergarten Amorbis and more like a Magmoor with Cutman's pair of scissors for a head.

As for the video: I watched the whole thing on blip.tv and--holy SHIT--it was hilarious! Keep up the good work, you guys! :]

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

I'm not much of a Metroid fan, but... This is NOT Metroid. Enemies that simply walk back and forth on LEVITATING platforms - which are levitating over BOTTOMLESS PITS - is not Metroid. Where are the ROTATING enemies? Where is the bottom? It's a fucking PYRAMID: There's gotta be a bottom to land on down there! This is basically another shitty Mario Flash game, but with Mario sprites replaced by Samus sprites and Goombas replaced by those spiky things.

[sl3uthy]

No sequel to this thrilling adventure, the-exp? THIS TRULY IS CORRUPTION!

[SethTheXenocide]

Slowbeef and Metroid is always a good combination.

[Robbie06261995]

At least there is magmor caverns music that you can barely hear and the quality is all pixilated if sound can be pixilated

[JeffffJ]

WELCOME TO METROID ELEMENTS.

[Icerama108]

Real-Deal RF's? What are you going to RF Meet N' Fuck Kingdom?

[facelessaphrodisiac]

I tried playing this, and just for the spirit of Retsupurae I screamed bollocks at the top of my lungs.

This game fucking sucks.

[AdvanceSockem]

@facelessaphrodisiac We'll be right back with more Metroid Elements after these messages.

[TheCoincidence]

I remember playing this years ago, it's such a buggy piece of shit that I actually managed to break the sequence

[HikarixFTW]

TELEPOR'!

[Predysipe]

When I saw Justin Bailey had an NG account and gave that a 10, I was laughing so goddamned hard.

[Dygeron92]

I watched the whole thing on Blip.tv.

I loved the author's response to the only credible and constructive review in the review section.

"ok. How about I label all the code REAL well. then give you the FLA file AND YOU implement the changes and still have a game that runs."

Yeah, like it's really difficult to make a Flash game. Doesn't take a chef to know when food tastes like shit.

[ShadowthePast]

To be fair, this game was made in 2005. Basically before Youtube even existed. O.o

Still a piece of shit.

[OneWithTheNight]

THE RETURN OF MEET 'N FUCK KINGDOM

About 60% of Newgrounds people are too young to have played many real Metroid games anyway, so the reviews are unsurprising, really.

[zioz99]

9:30 "AHHHHHHHHH...shit"

[popledude]

so much retsupurae, it's like christmas!

[CriminalstMastermind]

9:34

TELLYPORT acquired.

[rickhh1]

"Samus, how do you feel about that?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Gold!

[Thanatos0123456789]

Can some one give me a link to diabetus' videos? Cant find them anywhere.

[MaverickhunterXZero]

this is the first time I've ever said, "I'm not playing this Metroid game." BTW nice Speed boost death fall

[Dygeron92]

0:39

Yeah, that's great CGI... if you count old Commodore 64 graphics as CGI.

[Metaflossy]

@Dygeron92 Hey, dont insult commodore like that XD Commodore 64 can do 100x times better than that.

[Headbanger142]

"This boss is brought to you by the Letter C"

[xDancinKitt3hx]

you guys know you can upload to 15 mins now right?

[BatDanNight]

Being the masochistic fool that I am, I went to try this game out. The jumping is beyond horrendous. It's like Samus is on an ice planet with horrible gravity.

And to the creator of the game, the game's slippery controls doesn't give you an excuse to say "this game is really hard so be careful".

[posthumanfetus]

I like Retsufrash because it's a little bit like watching you and 'betus doing actual Lets Plays like Dead to Rights and Snatcher.

[rafigirl123]

Anyone on the retsuteam play Minecraft?