daughter's first sentence

[SexualCamel]

Hey, Youtube: Thanks for the Maxi-Pad commercial. If blood ever comes out my penis for five days, I'll rest safe in the knowledge that Always is the most absorbent choice on the market.

[siaja1]

JUST FUCKING EAT IT!!!!!

[MRsangomi]

That awkward moment when every not funny comment has thumbs up -.-

[mlfaijati]

why do most of the comments have thumbs up?

[maxie355a]

We're FUCKIN havin chicken

[imrepohl]

You're on the grid motherfucker!

[elyseee92]

i was supposed to go to be 3 hours ago....

[sharted1661]

his daughter sounds like such a boss

[ylfriends]

Hahahahaha if you're skinny I go to jail LMAO!!



[skinbiscuit]

I don't have a problem comics using language, as long as the language is not a required component to make the joke funny. George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Robin Williams (just to name a small few) are all good examples of comics that can be extremely funny without the use of coarse langauge. I'm not saying that any of these guys have never used bad language, but they can all be funny without the use of it.

[waterwind2266]

@skinbiscuit What are you talking about? George Carlin swore his ass off everytime.

[FloydYoder]

@skinbiscuit The only one of those who didn't swear was Bill Cosby. Robin Williams is a filthy comedian. He ended Live on Broadway with a graphic depiction of eating pussy.

[VirgBoudreauF1]

@skinbiscuit George Carlin swore all the time!

[Deltrix4762]

@skinbiscuit they can without it but using it emphasize their message.

[Fedesha]

@skinbiscuit

Have you ever seen George Carlin and Robin Williams? Look them up and go re-write your comment!

[08Annasia]

I soooo wish I could talk like that to the brats I babysitt

[ginnybruns]

I like humor but not at the expense of using four letter words to get people to laugh, where are the REAL comics?

[Scoat]

@ginnybruns Derp.

[StratagemBlue]

@ginnybruns He is a REAL comic, even if you don't like his language.

[83alx]

@ginnybruns Dude... it's a fucking word. Get over it. Curse words are WORDS. Sounds. Sounds that we make with our mouths. What is wrong with making sounds with our mouths?

[gsupham]

@ginnybruns what is a real comic? All Christian entertainment is copycat so if you want "real" christian comedy just have one of your brothers or sisters rip off Louis CK. Then, you can get rid of the four letter words and have "real" comics. Real people curse. Do us all a favor and stay in your god damned bubble. Maybe you will just float off to heaven.

[PickleJar251]

@ginnybruns stop being a sensitive fucktart and deal with it

[upchurch231]

@ginnybruns comics who dont curse pretty much all suck. name me 5 comics that are good that dont curse. if you dont like what people say than DONT WATCH IT. its your choice. why try and shit on peoples fun when it doesnt effect you in anyway. its like u think him saying fuck somehow makes you get splashed in the face by a jar of dick sweat or something.

[cinesimonj]

@PeterNGloor You that sensitive you can't actually listen to the majority of the words in between?

Poor you. Living in the modern world must be tough.

[saucyfag]

I've always wondered this: if you starve them a bit, they'll eat anything right? Why not just do that? It's not like they're not getting anything.

[agata521]

@saucyfag yeah and then 10 years later they'll sneak up at you with a knife and gently cut your head off. haha

[iwannaplaycs]

I've watched a bit of his stuff over the past little while and I just can't get into his whole negative universe mindset. His stuff doesn't humor me or make me think about his point, it just makes me sad.

[WonderExperience]

@iwannaplaycs so why watch a video about him? You're the reason why people like him exist... because you're fucking stupid and don't think about others before you open your dumb fucking mouth.

[iwannaplaycs]

@WonderExperience lol what is he, your father or something? Chill out you silly spaz, anyone has the right to post an opinion of his humor. I didn't post anything derogatory or go all out bashing him or anything like that. Relax.

[glitenin]

@PeterNGloor I'd like to start by saying he's not grunting like a primate, nor a cave man. I'd also like to ask what country you're from that you can say that about American comics. I can probably find a comedian from just about any country that curses.

[AlphaMale593]

@PeterNGloor Dude youre a fag. He's a comedian and plenty of them use profane language. And if you wanna trash on him because he's american then look up ricky gervais. He's not american and he's uses plenty of "Primitive and Profane language".

[kcitsobnitsua]

@PeterNGloor i dont give a fuck whos country it is, and maybe i dont believe in god, and that doesnt even matter u ignorant fuck. get the fuck off the video if you dont like it. simple is that. u dont have to stick around and try to troll people like a fucking retard.

[Save0urCulture]

@PeterNGloor F*** Off! :))

[ChristopherDone]

Get out of your shitty little plastic chair and make it yourself. Hahahaha.

[squeegybeckinhyme]

my 2 year old is going through a picky eater phase now and I get this standup bit stuck in my head all the time haha.

[mrwinner5]

you'll die you idiot eat the FOOD :D

[Vamooska]

Get out of your shitty little plastic chair......and make your own dinner.

[JAMES6FRANK]

lol. great ending.

[Alansbaby2010]

They have your footprint at the hospital, they KNOW THAT I HAVE YOU! Im not allowed to let you fuckin die, now eat motherfucker!! LMFAO!!!

[Narcissist2021]

Youll like the chicken when I shove it up your ass.

[LadyBritonWhite]

you're on the grid motherfucker, EAT. 

[MrVoodizzle]

Shitty plastic chair lol

[ilovebreak600]

I relate to this the other day my little 1 and a half year old said "I dont like carrots" and i was like well just eat the fuckin carrots you've never had a damn problem with them before and she would not eat those carrots for anything i ended up just leaving her in her highchair and letting her eat fruit snacks

[CypheCommander]

@ilovebreak600

Your account says that you are 13.

[ilovebreak600]

@CypheCommander uh huh its not my kid its kinda like an adopted kid because she calls me mom and i call her my kid shes actually my cousin but she's like my daughter

[anhedonia47]

Best comedian since Bill Hicks.

[JasonTyberiusKirk]

Lol, "You have a social security number, you're on the grid motherfucker, eat!"

[WizardTaco123]

you'll die you idiot, eat the food!

[ZooYorkVenom]

@WizardTaco123 Thank you so much for clarifying what was said in the video! I don't think anyone actually knew what he said. The world appreciates your great deed.

[WizardTaco123]

@ZooYorkVenom ho ho someone's cranky

[ZooYorkVenom]

@WizardTaco123 Nah, I'm just being sarcastic.

[WizardTaco123]

@ZooYorkVenom I realized

[pumishumi]

I CAN RELATE TO THIS!!! my 9-year-old stepbrother will sometimes ask a very good question, we give him an answer, then 1 of 2 things happen:

1. Why? answer. Why? answer. and so on...

2. accepts the answer, then comes back 10 minutes later with the same question.

[therealsum0kat]

Acid trip Crocs ad... did anyone else get that one?

[DestroyedArkana]

Guys get adblock plus.

[bluefavorites]

DAMN ADS CAN SUCK A BAG OF DICKS.

[AFKabi]

You do realize people put adds on this videos. So they make money out of this.

But this is not louis CK, i am not against videos uploaded here.

But if someone is going to get money from adds, should be Louis not some random guy.

Also, i haven't seen an add in years.

[hobbestyguy]

The new 2011 Jeep Compass can suck it.

[eddie2127]

DOODE! I thought that AD was an episode!!

[skillz139]

were fuckin havin chicken!!!!!!!!

[joeydagunner15]

0:00 

[toShoutAloud]

YOU'RE ON THE GRID MOTHERF*CKER EEAAT! lmfao, never laughed harder in my life.

[downscale]

i got no ads



[pongsifu666]

If you don't want the ads, use firefox, download the AdBlock addon, and you'll never see an ad on youtube ever again. I didn't even know YouTube *had* ads until I happened to visit at work.

[Zachu24v2]

@pongsifu666 LOL Fuck firefox. Get google Chrome. Its WAY Better. and it has a better Ad blocker.

[Nautilus1972]

@Zachu24v2 I'm using Firefox 5 and didn't see any ads

[IronHe11]

@Nautilus1972 I'm using Firefox 4 and don't see any ads

[MrJrdify]

I keep making the same mistake, I can't drink while listening to louis ck..not matter how many times I've seen the video the liquid still shoots out of my like a bullet from a gun..

[patarfuyfuy]

@MrJrdify wow fucking poetic haha

[RockySeven7]

he looks like a fat american Derren Brown

[CaptianComment]

The ads let us pay NOTHING for FREE videos. In my book, you can't complain about a free service.

[tnglo]

@CaptianComment wasn't like it before google bought youtube. so...

[mihaimoldo]

@CaptianComment oh fuck you and all people like you, first of all....youtube got the money it has BECAUSE OF the USERS! and nothing else.

All their money is because of us... each and every user who watches and uploads videos.

So if we want to type comments about how much we hate the ads we can fucking type whatever we want and whine how much we want.

If all people get together and decide not to use youtube anymore, it would go backrupt in a week.

So FUCK ADS!

[lolitaloveshetalia]

@mihaimoldo thats not true youtube doesnt charge us to watch or upload vids thats why they need ads as youtube get bigger it takes more work to keep it working and big youtubers do get paid or at least the ones with a youtube contract though i do wish they would stop putting them before the vid. ads= pay for people that keep youtube running, pay for internet celebs and so youtube can stay free for users Sacrifices Must be Made

[CaptianComment]

@mihaimoldo YouTube used to be free of ads because of a smaller viewer base. HOWEVER, now it has to pay for the bandwidth to play all of these videos that we watch, once again, FOR FREE.

And no you're right, WITH YOUR PLAN it would go bankrupt in a week- probably less than that. Then where would we watch videos like these? I don't know about you, but I actually like watching YouTube videos.

...So basically what I'm saying is go fuck yourself.

[mihaimoldo]

@CaptianComment Well than what's the problem with raging against the adds? why shouldn't we?Can't you see that the company youtube sees us as a resource?

So what's the problem when someone says fuck the adds?

We made youtube what it is today, we can fucking say what we want about it....it doesn't matter and won't make a difference....but why should you or anyone say otherwise.Let us rage in fucking solitude. It makes us feel better.

[CaptianComment]

@mihaimoldo YouTube has to pay for things like the now huge amount of bandwith the millions of videos on YouTube command. If they didn't have ads, it would have to be a paid service. Would you rather watcha 30sec ad, or pay money each month? There's nothing wrong with raging, oh right other than the fact that it's pointless unless you have a non-idiotic alternative (ad-less videos aren't a viable option). If you come up with a smart idea, THEN YouTube might listen. Useless whining is just that.

[musicck07]

You're on the grid motherfucker, EAT!

[MisunderstoodSith]

To everyone complaining about the ads.

The ads pay for the site, so suck it up, stop complaining, no ads means no youtube.

[bsteck777]

@MisunderstoodSith no

[BLOODG0AT]

@MisunderstoodSith Not even close to true but okay :/

[MisunderstoodSith]

@BLOODG0AT it is true, youtube and other free sites rely on ads to keep running, if there are no ads you'd have to pay to use youtube and no-one wants that, so I say respect the ads.

Mind you I get annoyed by the ones which are rather long but at least youtube has the decency to add a skip ad option.

[CackSlop666]

@MisunderstoodSith the ads work when people click on them. a lot of people NEVER click an ad. also, youtube has no idea that we block the ads so no harm no foul.

[froggie4hugz]

OMG IM DYING!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

[Oraukk]

Google Chrome AdBlock extension is your friend

[traupman84]

are people really crying over a 15 second add to watch a 1:55 clip?

[Jagom2gi]

What fucking ads? Stop using IE

[iurhviusdfavhi]

THERE ARE NO ADS WHEN YOU GET AD-BLOCK + AN ADDON THATS BEEN OUT FOR YEARS. RETARDS....

[nerrciss01]

how retarded can people be that they cant instal ad blocker ! 

[Shad0wack]

@nerrciss01

Shush!

If everyone gets one then they will have to find another way to show the ads, let us nerds have it in peace.

[andy11209x]

you're on the grid motherfucker haha

[XXDeathlyGazeXX]

i wish he was my dad



[MisterCBZ]

Adblock on Firefox OR Chrome, Is it really that hard to install either one of those?

It's ridiculous that the 2 top rated comments are complaining about the ads.

[petergriffin001]

No dislikes on this video. Wonder who the first troll is gonna be.

[bigbagron]

@petergriffin001 No one would have disliked it had you not said anything.

[petergriffin001]

@bigbagron Ha please, this is youtube. It was bound to get disliked eventually.

[KimTizzle]

he is too funny!

[RMBvidz13]

0 dislikes. win

[MCRisLIFE]

YOU'RE ON THE GRID MOTHERFUCKER

[Lensman425]

ahahah, I love the way it ends "....but my life, fuckin stinks"

[aflondono70]

awesome! :P

[master5000222]

i dont like u

[Pryneipoo]

HOLY SHIT IT LET ME SKIP THE AD :O

[Stakhanov]

@Pryneipoo

download firefox.  Install adblock plus. No ads on youtube.

[pa2pb]

@Pryneipoo get AdBlock Plus (if you have Firefox), takes care of most ads

[rapesomeface]

@Pryneipoo adblock. noob.

[TheWorldAtlus]

@Pryneipoo get adblock for krome i just did....havnt neen ads in weeks

[ispanico23]

aahahahahhah

[ILuvFoxyPam]

LOOL~!!!!