The Augustinian Paradox

[seanobes619]

Fuckin' A. Your poetry sucks!

[theowarner]

@seanobes619

What poetry are you talking about?

[seanobes619]

@theowarner You're right.This videos wasn't poetry. You don't have the talent for it. Please, pour oil over yourself and light yourself on fire. That will help people from hearing pieces of shit like this.

[theowarner]

@seanobes619

Haha! Oh.... you're one of those people.

[piprod01]

@theowarner

Theo!

Where did you go? Why did you close off your museum of videos to the viewing public? What do I do now?

[dujustice]

Genius Theo. You drift above both criticism and praise.

[Artifactorfiction]

I liked this, I Favourited this, I don't know why, then I poured oil on my body and decapitated the colour blue

[Kissimirri22]

What the heck?! That makes no sense

[idioticatheists]

After listening to this, I felt like pouring oil over myself and lighting myself on fire. Theo, your poetry is as bad as an Ed Wood movie. And you're the last person I want to see having oil on their body.

[theowarner]

@idioticatheists

Haha! You thought this was poetry?

[idioticatheists]

@theowarner Yup! We actually agree. This is NOT poetry. Thank you for agreeing with me :-)

[theowarner]

@idioticatheists

No, what I said was "you thought this was poetry?"

I can't believe you thought it was poetry.

[SetonsH4ll]

A paradox is not established by randomly conjuring up a slew of unrelated ideas with disturbing sexual undertones.

Its difficult not to deeply worry about you when you speak the way you do here. You may respond in your typical ambiguous, divisively passive way, assuring yourself that you've been profound, aesthetic and intellectual, but this just is never the case theo. I sincerely hope that you would quickly consult help for any private psychological and/or social struggles.

[theowarner]

@SetonsH4ll

Why are you so full of hate?

[SetonsH4ll]

@theowarner

I don't hate you. I am honestly worried about you.

[theowarner]

@SetonsH4ll

Why? Because you don't like my sense of humor?

[Azurewrath232]

lol now all i wanna do is decapitate waiters and make love

[Celtic8482]

Why do you sound like Kevin Klein?

[SecularNumanist]

sorry what the fuck?

i have no idea what the hell is going on in this story.

am i high?

[creepyoldman2]

Terribly well written. Upon doing a little bit of research, Augustine seems to enjoy the use of paradox. I suppose that you are actually writing an autobiography here, but without the implementation of time periods as a factor, rather just the use of the personal experience. I love the way you've reflected this paradox of time to your own life.

[theowarner]

@creepyoldman2

I look forward to your thoughts on subsequent Paradoxes... I've written four so far.

[whysoserious17]

is kevin cline the voice??

[brownbigb]

the 9 day flight makes me suspicious about the rest of the story. how slow were you flying?

[TheD0ded0de]

I LOL'd

[harkying99]

this sounds a lot like the bullshit lies your grandpa tells you when youre a kid.

[raindog951]

Exquisitely done.

[treatableignorance]

I had heard rumors that someone was planning to do "The Journal of Albion Moonlight" as a musical and I was wondering if that might be the "latest play" referred to several times in this video.

[ShrapnelSong]

Did you here that whistling sound? That was this going right over my head.

[beanbag6]

There is obviously something to these stories and I'm sure its very deep and profound. Which makes me sad that my intellect is not at a level great enough to understand such a story for what it is meant to portray. I apologize for not having the ability to interpret your stories in the way I imagine they are meant too be...

On the other hand if they are just crazy ramblings with no deeper meaning to them then bravo for creating such literary insanity. I found it quite entertaining.

[EyeLean5280]

I love this!

[Nhurm]

absolutely fuckin brill mate.

[LostSoulTaco]

That was a lot like a Woody Allan's Lost Generation. Very funny!

[luerwulf]

The juxtaposition of the Ave Maria had me on the floor laughing. Sheer brilliance once again.

[ShadowPa1adin]

lol wut?

[HumanistDad]

I. Don't. Get. It.

[trgfunds]

These surface level comments from the masses are an indication of median intelligence and should be dismissed. There are, however, references to very deep contradictions and ironies within these so called "Paradoxes". We can see reflections of the authors psychological state, personality profile, and the way he views the world around him. Essentially, this creative work is the mirror with which the author views himself. Congratulations, Theo. You have garnered my attention.

[sometimesido99]

brilliant...was it olive oil? I have always pictured Ghengis as an olive oil type of guy!

[pairmaster5000]

Awesome!

[ravenskye75]

Omg, that was hilarious. Thanks for sharing. The lines about pouring oil on your bodies and making love was quite erotic. ;)

[Fordi]

Truly absurd. I love it.

[deliciousonionsoup]

I understand this no more than the second part. All I can see in it is the timeless absurdity of human life. I see nothing Augustinian. It seems purposely delusionary and purposely delirious to me. I do not see purpose to it. Please tell me it's purpose.

[MarkLucasTube]

Brilliant

[alucard9692005]

so funny :)

[dcinroc]

I greatly enjoyed this piece. Well done. Reminds me (stylistically) of Woody Allen's "A Twenties Memory" from his Getting Even collection.

Of course, in Allen's piece, he repeatedly suffers a broken nose rather than oil and love making.

I look forward to more videos from you.

[theowarner]

Yes, that piece is a large inspirations. There are others, but you get the prize for first!

Thanks!

[LexerMkV]

Let's pour oil on our bodies and decapitate waiters and make crepes!

[conrad4ever]

danm stright

[LexerMkV]

So, do we make crepes out of the waiters?

[thruthem]

So beautiful! I cried!

[Fordi]

Afterwards we poured oil on our bodies and decapitated waiters.

[alucard9692005]

you sir are a genius

[LddStyx]

I wonder how hard reading this to a live audience would be like ˇo

[XGralgrathor]

I've been walking in circles around the nail I drove through my right foot ever since this little ditty came out, awaiting part two... Only a few more views, so it seems, and I can resume thinking straight again.

[TachiRdiesDirty]

its always good for a chuckle :)

[shaybshay]

This video was driving me crazy because for days it reminded me of something but what I did not know. Finally after watching this for the tenth time it occured to me. It was the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. The comedy, tone, writing and even the voice a bit reminds me of Depp's character. But's it's also mixed with someting else I can't think of right now.

[TachiRdiesDirty]

1 closer to 1000.

[shaybshay]

My little brain was not getting it but I laughed through the whole thing. Then I looked in the Catholic Encyclopedia and St. Augustine's take on lying. I just skimmed through it and came across a part where he says you shouldn't lie to a dying man even if it would save his life. So that was the end of my relationship with Augustine but before I departed, he poured oil on my... and well you know.

[BaldwinGTi]

That's my kind of humor! I have enjoyed all of your videos so far and I am looking forward to pt2 of this one

[mikooou]

5 stars

[NYCFin]

Splendid.

[theowarner]

Thanks!

[CrucieFiction]

And Now for Something Completely Different...

[sparrow111260]

Marvellous! Simply marvellous.

[theowarner]

Thanks!

[theowarner]

One? They are all the one.

[theowarner]

I assure you: I am deeply, deeply jealous!

[bariyou]

Quite impressive.

Commendations to you, as you got me to look up something I would have, otherwise, more than likely gone without knowing. I'd applause, but across the internet, it seems quite useless.

In any case, Jacose or not, the story is still enjoyable.

[Geodge]

damn, you're good.

and the fact that the comments you attract form some of the most sparkling conversations found anywhere on youtube is further testament

[Swede1066]

I poured a waiter on myself and decapitated a bottle of oil. Something just didn't feel right about it.

[bl4ckd0g187]

'I poured a waiter on myself and decapitated a bottle of oil. Something just didn't feel right about it.'

-indeed. a bottle of stiff liquor had a drink of me, and I poured oil on a plane and we made love.

[theowarner]

Ha ha... of course you're joking... you don't have a girlfriend.

[Kwijibo87]

wtf! that was different! but very funny, well done 5/5

[vassalofanubis]

lol

[rnistuk]

I have found a flaw in your story; While you and the mad Greek pilot were pouring oil on yourselves and making love, who was flying the plane that was as slow as a boat?

This flaw makes me slightly suspicious of the rest of the story.

[crabbybastard1]

Strange, I now feel I need to decapitate a waiter with oil. I'll need to speak to Venus and ask her. Perhaps between spankings and dipping her in cinnamon flavored wax I can get an answer.

Thanks for making an interesting video TW.

[junkfoodman607]

Care to read me a scene of your play?

[sft62]

Well Donne.

[FlowCell]

FTW? I don't get it.

[kalbininkas]

Why didn't you and Kepler make love?

[SirFiNiX]

I didn't get it. :( I'm gonna need to read more philosophy to understand this, aren't I?

Could you explain it, please?

[cruxbucket]

see below about the jacose lies. basically a lie told in jest and one that everyone knows is such therefore its not a lie, but you are lying. hence the paradox.

[cruxbucket]

or the liar paradox most likely nvm

[cruxbucket]

well done, i may sound stupid but are you referring to the problem of evil?

[Mindaslight]

The hair braiding part woke me up.

I feel better now. Thanks.

[lobetrotter]

It will take a while to grok this video.

I think I need a stiff drink...and yet my girlfriend has just offered to pour oil all over our bodies and read me her play.

[bl4ckd0g187]

'I think I need a stiff drink...and yet my girlfriend has just offered to pour oil all over our bodies and read me her play.'

sounds......interesting. can I have a drink too?

[ScaryZeeba]

I liked it warner very nice.

[Ravinar]

i can honestly say you have left me completely dumbfounded wondering what just happened to me in the past 2:13

[robshred66]

That was beautifully meaningless. I think Donne would be proud.

[HijodeNeton]

what's the point, if any?

[theowarner]

Well -- there's a larger point, of course... if you take every third word... I think you'll get an important secret message.

[bl4ckd0g187]

'if you take every third word... I think you'll get an important secret message.'

-but I'm too lazy to do that......... :(

anyway, interesting story, even if it is somewhat absurd.

[cruxbucket]

haha look up augustinian paradox bro youll get it

[bl4ckd0g187]

'haha look up augustinian paradox bro youll get it'

-I did. it didn't work; something about 'the problem of evil' or something.

[cruxbucket]

Jocose lies Jocose lies are lies that are meant in jest and are usually understood as such by all present parties. Sarcasm can be one example. A more elaborate example is seen in storytelling traditions that are present in some places, where the humour comes from the storyteller's insistence that he or she is telling the absolute truth despite all evidence to the contrary (i.e., tall tale). There is debate about whether these are "real lies", and different philosophers hold different views

[theinquisitor]

Thanks for explaining cruxbucket, I thought theowarner had gone a bit funny for a minute.

Regarding whether they are "real lies", I think it depends on who is speaking and who is listening, since the real issue is whether the intent is to deceive, to attempt to create in another person what you believe to be a false impression of what is really going on. I think what's more relevant is whether something is deceptive, rather than whether it is a lie. Cherry picking true data can be deceptive.

[Shalek]

Hmm I took every third word and got this 'Was living me subpoena to him to him trees I morning me no later her the came' ???

[theowarner]

Oh... well, maybe it's every fourth word... or second word... of fifth word... something like that. Try all those.

[randyhelzerman]

Awesome.

[theowarner]

Thanks, Randy -- I didn't know you followed this humble channel.

[randyhelzerman]

Well now that you know, I suppose we'll have to break out the oil...

[theowarner]

I could read you a scene from my latest play?

[Semidii]

Thank you, you made my day. Well, you didn't, but you enhanced it significantly.

[547212436]

wtf?

[unbeliever1000]

that ....was.....BRILLIANT! *****

my keyboard now has to have jasmine tea wiped off of it thanks to you.

LOL

[theowarner]

He he... Jasmine? Oh, bless...

[DeamonCohln]

BRAIN. HURT.