Borderline Personality Disorder World

[zeze40video]

Was this filmed at Niagra Falls?

[DazedSpy2]

anyone else hear nothing but static

[adamlewis723]

same here!

[rbogdewic]

NowTHAT'S a great video

[JasonRaub]

Its like 6am man but i watched what you were talking about and i think like every day is my own self created illusion maby thats what your tryn to say but i really donno but ya fantasy sounds very close to what life is like for me to. borderline & scizoaffective personality disorder yepp nice and somethin...

[clink86]

Thank You for sharing,I can not talk to any one about my condition not even my family,who knows some thing is different,well every one who knows me knows some thing isnt right.and the fantasy world is constant and trying to fit in to quote unquote normal society gets harder and harder every year.

[shotokan1968]

I find it odd that by watching your videos i see more of who i truly am then i have been able to figure out on my own.

we share many of the same issues.

i have spent so many years hiding who i am behind many many guises that i feel a ' True me" doesn't exist anymore,..

more like a shadow of a person that never got to exist.

P.s. i applaud your honestly , none of my videos have anything to do with me, in fact many where made specifically to mislead others from who i am or might be.

[icywytesoljas]

borderline is not an identity so dont use it as one, yes i am borderline myself but if you let it be who you are then you are nothing more.

[municorn6]

i understand that, i live in a distractive world, i have the main traits described of bl, i have the main traits and 2 stopthat, iwill skip from thing 2 thing, or fantasy 2 fantasy-self image 2 self image, im sorry 2 say that i havent a clue bout giving birth bit, but constantly dieing, is more appropriate-u see an ideal, copy it realise it isnt me and cyclicly do, it over and over untill i breakdown, i would ask if pos 2 know if drugs, or alchahol help u 2 escape even more?70goldtop ur cruel!

[70goldtop]

Don't have kids.

[sunnycheetah]

i recognise a lot, to me the world feels strange as well, it hurts me to be alone (and i am now) and hiding in a fantasy world (the internet) seems the only way out of loneliness. I'm also bipolar and to me it feels as there's no future. But recently i learned to love horses and they help too :)

[clink86]

I know exactly how you fell,but i havent found any relief except the internet.

[greenlightblackwall]

Comment part 4: I'm not 100% antisocial but i guess im more so than the average person. I dont mind peoples company but after a certain amount of time i get agitated and want to be on my own to be in my safe fantasy world. I find that when im on my own its easier to cope with things, and when people are involved it makes things harder to deal with.

[greenlightblackwall]

Comment part 3: I agree with you 100% that "normal" people dont have as much insight or spirituality as us, their too busy not thinking, or thinking of trivial things. I can relate to you soo much, ive always been quiet and withdrawn. I tend to not realate to normal people because i see things soo differently from them.

[greenlightblackwall]

Comment part 2: When im alone i go through and sift through situations that happened or i want to happen and sometimes have conversations as though the person im imagining talking to is sat right next to me, i dont speak out loud much when im doing it, i mostly talk with my mouth silently. It makes me sound crazy lol, i dont do it all the time. I also have a weird sense of humour and i laugh at myself a lot at the most stupidest things.

[greenlightblackwall]

Comment part 1: (Won't all fit in one comment dammit) I spend a lot of time in my room, 'living' in my world. Im not working right now but i had a job a few months ago that lasted a few months, but it was like torture because i wasnt getting the time i needed to process things and live in my fantasy world, i missed it badly and probably need it badly. Its almost like living in the real world is not as insightful as living in my own world where i can see whats going on and everythings clear.

[59145fs]

I feel like i have been trying to fix myself in my own thoughts for so long and haven't moved forward because i feel ultimately something is still wrong with me. But you can't fix yourself by thinking about it. It's like when you cut yourself you can see it and you put a band aid on it. But you can't see whats wrong in your head.

[AMoosemintandlament]

Well I always had a strong kinda "talent" - or I dinno how to call it - for daydreams and fantasizing as a kid and daydreams can be very vivid for me and I guess it can be a kind of comfort zone where thoughts and emotions struggle with ones emotional experiences and stuff. I don't consider it abnormal or some world that only a few live in but sure most people are too busy to go there much. And I suppose it depends on a persons degree of emotionality, introversion and how strong one senses life.

[terrencehanscom]

I would also like to add that I have a pretty consistent inner dialogue going on inside my head, and thats what I consider my "fantasy world." I know its not real, but my mind makes me doubt it. I have this powerful analytical machine which analyzes the world to the extent that it doesn't feel like I'm alive anymore. Too much definition. I make up situations, etc... I find that self expressive activities help.

[terrencehanscom]

You're wonderful my friend. Keep on teaching those whom don't know because you're a world of wisdom. I find that in order for me to interact with others in my perceived "normal" outside world, I have to consciously slow my mind down and say, "if this person doesn't accept me than eff them. I have others whom love me." People will love you for who you are. Additionally, its hard when I idealize others because I know I can only be myself and that has to be good enough. We're perfectly imperfect.

[Eriksaidit]

I can relate with that. I have started to blog about my experiences with BPD as well.

[collie70317]

I don't live in a fancy world, but I have had to make my world fit the outside one, which is so difficult. It is easier to live alone in my own world, although I at times overcome with fear and the sadness of my isolation. I do know my mind works differently than others - I can entertain myself with my thoughts for hours. I lose time (diassociate) and for a time did some pretty sick things. I am a (so-called) talented writer and spend endless hours with poems.

[aperfectingangel]

Yes I live in a fantasy world because its too painful in the 'real' world. I isolate myself from society and enjoy my own world.

[pantz64]

I know exactly what you mean and can relate to you, i am borderline and i am tired of living in my fantasy world and not being able to be myself, i think that we borders should build our own country somewhere and all go live together then maybe we can be ourselves without fear of what the 'normal society' will think of us, we can be ourselves and express ourselves as we wish and not be judged for it x x x x x

[biggestheart1]

we should. u made me laugh/. our own world. that would be good.

[meghanannee]

hello. i have just been diagnosed with BPD. i understand this completely. i live like that all the time. i lie to myself and everyone around me to give myself a different world. i beleive my lies and they become my "other" world. i dont really know a lot about the disorder yet. just that i hope i can get better. my meds are making me really sick though.

[MisplacedHope]

thxs for posting the more ppl speaking up honestly the better!

[BrookRachel]

I internalize everything and have a seemingly constant self defeating and negative dialog running in my head. I keep all my feelings in becasue I have no idea how to express them. I don't know how people can be outgoing and be comfortable with themselves. I have nothing but personal shame and I have always been afraid to express myself. I simply don't know how. So to hear your words, made me feel like someone understood. Thanks for posting this and sharing this with all of us. It's important.

[ukmaggot]

i think i understand, day and night just flow past me. I suffer mainly with the dissociative feelings pretty bad, i feel like im in two different realities the one where im a wake and the one when im asleep. i get upset when i think about why should i change myself just to 'fit' in, maybe we are ok but then again denial is common in borderlines, see the frustration

[LucyShy]

However dissociation is a double edged sword, since I have done things while dissociated that have hurt me as much as it has helped me at other times. I do know one thing; once you're in that state it's hard to pull out of, if you can at all.

[LucyShy]

Hey there, don't know you just came upon your video. I can't really relate to the 'own world' thing; to me that sounds more like Aspbergers or something. Unless you mean dissociation. As with all disorders diff. ppl have diff. severity; with me those periods of dissociation happen under stress. So I appreciate them b/c they 'save me' from the crisis of the time...

[LucyShy]

Sounds more like MDD (MID) to me my friend..