Penn & Teller; Bullshit! S06E04 Dolphins 3

[v4lkyr]

kinda sad that people like these have the right to vote

[cyber151]

OMG. So many people make big time money telling people NOTHING REALLY AT ALL.

Why the fuck did i go to school? Why didnt i just start some bs seminar about nothing and retire at age 40?!?!?!?!?! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blizzerdbiworrior]

3:05 She looks 15 3:24 and he looks 16.

[MrAcidmath]

lol@Penn

Institutions of all kinds may seem sincere, but dont rest until you find out if their sincerity is just is what he's saying. Also, deprevation tanks are awesome and so is acid.

[PlagueIndustry]

Okay, is it just me, or does that pregnant lady sound like she's 15 fucking years old?

[berylbill]

I think dolphins are delicious.

[webbess1]

Damn...it is one thing to give birth in an inflatable tub, but in the ocean??

[saznrai]

There are stupid people like these in the world... I know there are lots of stupid people ....but these guys...they are on a whole new level... And the costumers are too...

I Wonder what these people do after watching this show?

[sonbuhitsunei]

Hey um, did anyone else think that maybe, just maybe, what with the blood involved in childbirth...and the fact that they can sense a tiny amount from miles away...maybe some FUCKING SHARKS MIGHT EAT THE BABY if you give birth in the OCEAN? Just a thought. I'd be a little pissed at my mom if I found out she needlessly endangered my life the moment I entered the world.

[ydms14]

Sooooooo do babies float?

[MrConservative608]

@ydms14 My thoughts exactly. The very first moment in a baby being born and it is drowning & falling into the depths of the ocean with not even a breath of air in its life seems to me very negligent and to the baby's point of view very torturous. Adding to the probable drowning of the baby, as sonbuhitsunei pointed out, blood is involved in child birth and will attract sharks which would eat the baby. Maybe this "Dolphin Birth" lady should rethink this.

[NottheAxis]

That fucker with the dreads is batshit crazy.

[funcpl2741054]

0:57 - 'i am your dolphin guide and i recommend you stop eating twinkies and join a gym....you stupid fatass hippie' 

[arkie74]

8:08- expolosure? what the fuck kind of word is that?

[GProduct]

Hey ASSHOLE, those steps the hospital(s) take are to protect your baby, not entertain you through the life and times of Flipper!

[jopi122]

Just like crocodiles :D

[leviathanathos]

Is it wierd that i find that pregnant hippie hot?

[mechanoid2k]

@leviathanathos yes considering she's 14

[MrKaozKaoz]

@leviathanathos i would say no, cause she IS hot.

[sirus804]

"Since we've yet to make it that far." HAHAHAHAHAHA

[macgeek2004]

@qwyzl

Yeah, just forget that babies can't *BREATHE* underwater! Seriously, how do they keep the newborns from _dying_???

[xTom4Tomx]

uhhhhhhhhhh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[GymMasterAlex]

I wonder how these guys would feel about Ecco the Dolphin...

[Poodleinacan]

@RobertDidszuhn "Feuk you chicken! Feuk you cow!"

[Jumpybeaver]

"Thank you for the exposure." Oh you've been exposed alright.

[Jumpybeaver]

That one dude has hair like a fucking caveman!

[thompsoon3]

I feel like some donuts now 

[bricbob1986]

bitch coulda just flipped a coin, same thing.

[RobertDidszuhn]

FUCK YOU A DOLPHIN AND A FUCK YOU WHALE!

[redelman43199]

The dolphins probably laugh at how stupid those people are.

[dolphinsneu]

I was drawn to the first plate that Penn and Teller presented to the viewers.

[NecxZhor9]

FIELD ACTIVATE

[winddmmy]

penn had too much to drink because SHE WAS NOT HOTT!!!!

[qwyzl]

s'posing some one did give birth in the sea, near a pod of dolphins... and then s'posing a shark swam by, enticed by the scent of blood per haps, and took the baby up in her or his mouth and swam off with the new born... or s'posing the baby was born under water only to be carried off by an under water current.... do these people offering these "services" THINK?!?!

[arcticjungle6]

so..... that birth must suffered a shark attack too...

[soadfe]

man i lost 3 games of minesweeper in a row can some dolphin out there give me bit more of your innerouterpowerfieldenergythin­g

[1StoryImageFigure1]

@theantinatalist Indeed it is! Good catch and thanks for the correction.

[1StoryImageFigure1]

These dolphine lovers remind me of that witch doctor in the Venture Brothers who tackled and fucked a dolphine.

[aFinnsTheory]

Dolphins, are BULLSHIT!

*End credits*

[ScottGawain]

Sorry, its gotta be said: "So long and thanks for all the fish!"

[quidnick]

@ScottGawain WE TRIED TO WARN YOU!

[chronicgrass]

omg what can be seen cannot be unseen

[10GaugeManiac]

...Eenie meenie miney mo.. that'll be 300 bucks. eee eeeee eeeeee

[deepwoodtickles]

So many batshit loonies, how much is a ticket there, i could make a ton of cash,lolof course i believe dolphins are superpowered emissaries from the land of woo, show me a ton of cash and il sell em anything they wanna hear.

[aortizisawsome]

ACTIVATE FIELD  GOGO POWER RANGER MEGA DOLPHIN

[thatguy9880]

stupid hippies

[villalba874]

that's exactly right, is a child coming into the world, Hospitals need to take the steps.

For one thing, if you give birth in the Ocean, and there is a lot of blood in the sea, it will attract predators...like sharks, and dolphins. [Dolphins are carnivores]

[dropdead024]

IM A FUCKING DOLPHIN FUCK MY BLOWHOLEEEE

[RazaTheHacker]

They don't even realize that dolphins rape people.

[maureenOWW]

@RazaTheHacker - Well I rape dolphins, so it's only fair.

Don't worry, I only do it to mentally handicapped baby dolphins, so they don't understand what's going on.

[RazaTheHacker]

@maureenOWW GASP!

[goldenhorde1990]

I'll lead you through an internal experience to call forth your inner dolphin and then we'll bring our inner dolphin out so that we're completely immersed in our dolphin aspect .that is us.

[SuperNick419]

NOOOO!!! ..... LMAO!!!!!!!

[cybersekkin]

field activate - sounded like Super friends :-P

[livelaughluv4evah]

And they are getting payed?!?! Thats crazy! Someone has got to tell these people that animals are wild!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Duh winning.

[djericknaka]

"yea just like crocodiles" ROFL

[goflamespaul]

I wonder how a shark assisted birth would go...... ?

[arkie74]

im glad that little girl didnt have a "dolfin birth" maby she picked up a science book and discovered all the nasty things that live in the ocean like penn said for one,sharks microrganisms that could be harmfull to the baby,another is the water its self suppose the baby ingests some? it doesnt take much to kill. the whole idea is just stupid. child welfare should keep tabs on these people

[WarOnSanity]

but...

I love hippies

I hate stupid people.

WHY GOD WHY!?

[Zakura616]

Did LSD dude say "explosure" at the end?

[animematt]

Field....ACTIVIATE!

[ariannalybaek]

that girl...LOOKS SO YOUNG

[blacksuite1]

@ariannalybaek she looks 16

[Dipstikk]

I don't care about stupid, drugged up hippies, I care about what's going on in Taiji. This episide's focus on unimportant matters, that's the real "bullshit."

[Sarasirk531]

I'm sorry, but if I was an intelligent dolphin spirit, I would be telepathically telling people to feed me as many fish as possible, not guiding them.

[mysticking16]

Seeing this "therapy" almost makes me sick.

[EffingAndJeffing]

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

[frodobaggypants]

She goes out to have a baby with dolphins... And then gets attacked by a shark...fuckkkkk

[goatbut29]

Why in the hell would a dolphin give a shit about helping us?! After what weve done to them and their habitat?! Shit. If I was a dolphin Id eat your kid and swim the fuck away!

Everytime some asshole got in the water near me is rip them to shreds.

Well...maybe dolphins ARE smart. If they killed us wed just wipe them out and move on. Perhaps they know that. Sumbitch. I sure wish the dolphins would eat those Obama voting fruitcups with filthy hair and soon to be offspring. Ick...

[Jal1515]

well, it was nice of them to send the girl a gift... lol bit a bitch to return it :P

[murdock283]

Wait, a class that uses dolphins' supposed secret powers to get in touch with the Earth? And 2,000 dollars for the entire class? I thought Penn and Teller would be doing an episode on "Easy Money" a couple of seasons later.

[ziosuna]

i want those dolphin puppet heads!

[GamiCross]

*tries to write several different comments but instead I'll just scream pure unadulterated rage at the screen*

[WaffleNinja64]

How old is that girl who wanted to have a dolphin-assisted water birth? She looks and sounds like shes 15.

[zperra]

And oh my god that dolphin song is creepy as fuck. It shall forever haunt my nightmares!

[zperra]

3:25: What if you're baby has the umbelical wrapped around it's neck? What if it's breeched (isn't that the term for being in the womb backwards)? What if your lover has complications afterwords? Suddenly a hospital doesn't sound so bad. The dolphins aren't going to be able to give her an emergency cesection (sp?).

Thank Odin she chose not to do it.

[alnwicktkd]

fuck the 60s have got a lot to answer for

[JohnSmithAprilMay]

man, do I hate hippies.

[Izzyrockzsox]

I once told me mom about idiots doing these things that might harm their children. She told me, "Just let them do it. We can't let the stupid gene survive"

[ExhumedRemains]

@Izzyrockzsox I think i wanna bang your mom

[babyranks4]

@Izzyrockzsox Holy shit that's true!!

[arkie74]

@Izzyrockzsox yes its like a type of natural selecton

[RelixKondor]

Goddamn hippies.... it's not safer than hospitals. Steps are needed to keep the child alive. Who knows? Maybe they want the child to die from their ignorance.

[Fafnd]

Wow can that couple be arrested for endangering their baby? If not can we just wipe all of those hippie human beings out, their stupidity must not breed.

[andywattbulb]

I think those two women behind pen and teller are bullshit.

[mjh012363]

Male dolphins are also known to kill newborns (dolphins) in an effort to get the mothers to pay more attention to them.

[behemuth]

"more like an operation"

well yeah you hippie rag tag tool... and there are places in the world where birth is more natrual... and 10-30% end in death for ether mother or child... you git!!! gah, there is a reason why child birth is so streamlined, clean and slick... to save life... you're trying to risk death you GIT!!

[YaMumYaNanYaGran]

How do human beings get this dumb? There is no hope for us.

[washaway]

all the 'steps you have to go through' ya know, to make sure the baby is safe. FDA SUE SOME BULL SHIT DOLPHIN ASS.

[BabysFace]

That kid whos pregnant looks like she's 12 years old

[majorluna]

where do they find these wacked out weirdo people.

[CaptCamping]

nice ending with the high doctor

[nicoparas]

7:59 :(

[gamerguy322]

if a baby was born in the water IT WOULD DIE!

[BananaHurricane]

@gamerguy322 Water births actually do successfully take place. It's stupid and dangerous, but they do happen. Just not with dolphin assistance.

[theravendemon]

@gamerguy322 Not that I'm advocating birthing your baby by dolphin, but your baby wouldn't die, at least not for the first few seconds or whatever. Babies are basically born with nose plugs.

[behemuth]

@gamerguy322 no it would not... not defending the dolphin birth or anything but... birth underwater is not really a problem.

[johnnyvi]

Teller looks really like a mobster when they stand up at the end :S

[princessofdarklight]

You know, I understand the whole water-birth thing, but there facilities, at least where I am, where you can have a water-birth with necessary medical equipment near by.

[Mattysmyth0593]

FUCKING HIPPIES

[MahBoi22]

LOL those stupid. freaking. rhastafarians.

[202WRX]

stupid fucking hippies, get off the acid. Not to mention how old is she? 16? Jesus

[SgtBlackheart]

lock them all in a room together

throw away the key

continue life in a normal way without all the whacko's

[therhn18]

god damn dolphin hippies ..

[TheMayTheist]

You just have to love the smiling girls in the background.

[cerebustrooper]

I had a baby boy and they didnt Need to operate!!!!! Dumb Fuckin Hippies!!!!!

[azngotback]

lol blood from birth = sharks :D good luck!!!

[guyslade]

soo dolphins are racist lol

[ChocoRoll6070]

how is that girl?? isn't she kind of young to ge giving birth??

[SurfbyShootin]

bored old white people sure can do some weird shit

[imperialpilotx]

@SurfbyShootin It's funny how much that one, simple statement puts everything into perspective. haha.

[2naruto1]

i don't like the hospital birth with all the steps and things to make sure that your baby is like....... alive

[lvsoad22]

@2naruto1 what do you mean? you don't like people keeping your baby alive?

[modernmobster]

how the fuck old is she like 13??? and he looks like hes 30

[wickedwitchwest12323]

i'm glad my family actually 'believe' in hospitals, or else my brother would be dead.

[TVwatcha01]

field activate! Phazers at the ready!

[slicingwater]

Those Dolphins are more likely to cause a misscarriage than deliver the baby. What happens if one of them get riled and rams her abdomen as if she's a shark. That really scary, aresst those peple for endagerment of a new born and mother.

[monstergirl66613]

TWO.

THOUSAND.

DOLLARS.

That made me puke.

[TheMagnificentPony]

@monstergirl66613 yup... hey lest call upon pandas :D every 1 likes pandas :D

[monstergirl66613]

@TheMagnificentPony i LOVE pandas!!! :D

[TheMagnificentPony]

@monstergirl66613 see we shall tour the world calling upon our panda aspects! and brew delicious ale in the process

[monstergirl66613]

@TheMagnificentPony yo are you my soulmate?! O_O hahaha

[sothis45]

never a shark around when ya need one:(

[sothis45]

he doesnt believe in hospitals but trusts a fucking dolphin to deliver his baby? i hope his fucking kid drowns!!!!

[sothis45]

what the fuck is wrong with ppl?!?!?!?!

[somerealrandomperson]

lol just imagine some species after ours is worshipping our skulls and thinking we have supernatural power or somethingXD

[equitemcroce]

you pay 2000 bucks for a dumb class and they don't even give you freaki'n chairs to sit in. It looks so darn uncomfortable.

[jallen95]

Wow, fuckin hippies never fail to amaze me

[Arkanj3l]

@Tatorman09 But the chick was fuckable.

[BelfastAtheist]

@Arkanj3l

You can totally tell the guy only started the hippie shit to get laid.

[PrideSwine]

"...make sure they don't look like... These!" *Evil Dolphin hands, menacing chuckling*

[Arkanj3l]

Holy shit. 2:00 proves that with the right words you can get away with anything.

[foreal1992]

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something.

[guyfromcanadayup]

Dolphins are evil .

[brianific]

Bahaha I dont get it... is she gonna tred water while shes giving birth? But naw seriously that sounds exhausting =/

[mrdaym]

FUCK YOU DORRPHIIIN!!!!!

[Buhzie15]

@mrdaym lmao epic sp reference.

[Katzblager]

She spent 2k on this "program" and she couldn't buy herself some new socks?

[jdm4541]

4:10-4:18

"You know, if there are complications during pregnancy and she's in the water, the dolphins may be able to correct some of those complications."

LMFAO

Oh my God, that hippie, pagan, granola-head just said something so retarded that I wish he was castrated or had a vasectomy before impregnating that equally-retarded hippie bimbo.

[YB71KV]

These people are nuts, have they ever heard of logic? A birth in the ocean? C'mon think about this logically for just ten seconds, haha.

[uirukun]

...this is what I'm picking up......She made a decision by chance....probability being a 1:1 ratio....equally as likely she could have chosen either of the choices. Then these people socialize the outcome by rationalizing why it came about.

[norcallogger]

what happens when she has a contraction and starts to drown?

[norcallogger]

can you say hippie i can not belive people would even go for let alone think this is a good idea how the hell could this be good let alone the salt water and the crap in it

[opaquetranslucence]

birth in the ocean?i can just imagine some guy on the beach:

"oh look! a jellyfish! take a picture!"

"no, that's just afterbirth."

[pumarunner88]

"This is some scary shit!" - Cletus "Papa" Klump in The Nutty Professor (Eddie Murphy)

[Jokawolf]

so the only thing they have in common with humans is that they are racist?

[Jokawolf]

i have nothing against the poor animals its the dumb asses who believe in this shit that i hate

[WasMilkABadChoice]

Yeah that lady in the beginning really needs the money from her job, huh. That's why she spent 2000 bucks on those dolphin classes. I actually felt really bad for her when she started crying though.... then again, she's kind of an idiot.

[LifeMustard]

Technically mammals, morally FISH.

lol

[starquant]

I can believe that people spend their hard earned cash on this BULLSHIT. The people running this course need to be investigated by the IRS. Here's a tip, got money to throw away, then give it to the homeless.

[Loa4EVER]

And the dolphin made justice :D.

[ThePsychoReturns]

Here's a math problem for all you smart assholes.

How many drugs would you have to consume over what period of time before you think that dolphins would be able (with their flippers) to perform emergency surgery?

[ChristophoclesX]

@ThePsychoReturns

Let's see......

Assuming one to three LSD tablets every six hours, over a 4-6 year period.....

It's just easier to call them stupid.

[TylerTarTar]

dude i agree ahhahahahahhaha

[hartmut1164]

Does less depend on the amount, but more on the mind set. I know people how took their more than just "fair share" of drugs, but are still extremely well in the position to differ between a trip and reality.

[iSynOSX]

@ThePsychoReturns 20145.684983764 LSD hits or 60187.87490187 Joints.

[rubberpig86]

@ThePsychoReturns the variable would be what drugs. but im guessing acid with those hippies. but who knows? they might be on something to even consider and much more actually go out to do it! Some people confuse the shit out of me........ Fuckers.

[bassman5588]

Dolphins are beautiful animals and very intelligent creatures, but these are some crazy people.

[scooterkid37]

I am upset about the lack of mention to Douglas Adams in this episode...

[xXrerunitXx]

haha this 1 was funny lol

[Emblemz]

"holy cuntpickle!!" i cant believe people takes this seriously!!

[jimbrown257]

What they are doing in the begining of this part, when the lady is making an important life decision based on "Dolphin spirits", it is no different than basing decisions on astrology or what a psychic says. It's all basically like flipping a coin and is not always a bad thing as many of these people just need someone or something to tell them "yes" or "no" because they'll never decide for themselves.

On the other hand, it is still completely insane.

[rjworks13]

What a bunch of nut jobs...

[TheGizmofromPizmo]

Fucking porpoises!

[Leprechaunproduction]

This is just enormously painful to watch.

[RivaJane]

Fucking hippies...

[TheGizmofromPizmo]

I was born premature. If it wasn't for modern medical technology I might not be around to see how idiotic this 'natural' birth craze is.

[JACKtheRIPP3R189]

Not to mention all the children born through c sections. It wasn't so long ago they all would have been jolly well dead.

[Pheorach]

@TheGizmofromPizmo

My cousin was premature.

I am so thankful for the science and technology that saved him.

[Ludd3332]

@TheGizmofromPizmo People are dangerous animals, putting all of each other and ourselves in i shitload of problems lives we don't like and danger...